Chapter Text
Tobias stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, posing. He puckered out his lips and blew himself a kiss. He winked to himself. Man did he look good.
"I can't believe I wasted so much time chasing girls. How childish of me." Tobias said to himself. Today was the day he was going to get himself a boyfriend. He had realized he liked boys a week prior. He couldn't just be selfish and keep all his handsomeness to himself. He had to share it with someone.
Tobias picked up a bottle of cologne. According to the bottle, it smelt like eternity. He had no idea what that smelt like but it most likely smelled good. He would attract so many dudes this way. He opened the bottle of cologne and started to spray it. Soon, the whole bathroom smelt like cheap cologne. Tobias took a deep inhale and let out a sigh.
"Oh yeah, boys are gonna be swooning over me once they smell me," Tobias said confidently. There was a series of loud bangs against the bathroom door, making Tobias jump in surprise.
"Tobias hurry up! I need to get ready for school too!" Rachel shouted. Tobias rolled his eyes and opened the door. Rachel covered her nose and started to cough, her eyes filling with tears.
"Ugh gross, your cologne smells like hot garbage and a wet dog," Rachel whined out. Tobias rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
"At least I don't look like an over groomed poodle." Tobias retorted. Rachel let out a dramatic gasp, putting her hand on her chest. She opened her mouth to insult her little brother back, but decided it wasn't worth it because she was already behind schedule. She turned around and walked in the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Tobias let out a snicker and turned around, walking down the hallway.
Tobias quickly walked down the stairs with a skip in his step. He hopped down on the last step and slid across the hardwood floor. He entered the kitchen to see his mom sitting at the kitchen table. In one hand she had a cup of wine and in the other was her phone.
"Morning mom." Tobias greeted. His mom let out a hum, taking a sip from her wine. She obviously wasn't paying attention. It was rather odd that she was drinking wine at seven in the morning but Tobias was used to it. Tobias opened the fridge and pulled out a gallon of orange juice. He closed the fridge and opened the freezer. He pulled out two frozen waffles before closing the freezer by lightly headbutting it due to his hands being full.
Tobias walked over to the counter and placed everything on it. He placed the waffles in the toaster and pushed down the lever. He grabbed a glass that was next to the sink and filled it with orange juice.
"Good morning!" Harold greeted. Tobias looked up from his orange juice and waved to his dad. Harold walked over to Tobias and sniffed the air. A sly grin appeared on his face.
"Ah, using the cologne I gave you. Trying to impress some ladies?" Harold asked, wiggling his eyebrows with a sly grin on his face. Tobias froze. He hadn't come out to his family.
His dad always called gay people 'freaks of nature' and 'unnatural'. He couldn't just come out to his family. He cleared his throat and let out a cough.
"Yup, just going to ask out so many girls." Tobias nervously before quickly guzzling down his juice. Harold grinned and ruffled his hair. Tobias let out a shout of annoyance and waved his father's hands away. He had spent over an hour making his hair perfect. He quickly fixed his air and let out a sigh of relief.
A honk came from outside, making him look towards the front of the house. Was the bus there already? He hadn't even eaten breakfast yet. Tobias waved goodbye to his parents and ran out of the kitchen.
"Bye mom, bye dad!" Tobias exclaimed before running out the front door. He hopped off of his porch and landed feet first onto the concrete path. He slowed down as he approached the school bus. Tobias walked onto the bus and looked around. Who should he sit with? His eyes landed on a pink flower in a dark blue pot. Leslie was the perfect person to ask out. He had been openly gay for over a year and from what Tobias knew, he was single. Tobias sauntered over to Leslie and sat down next to him. Leslie covered his nose and stuck his tongue out.
"Eeew what stinks?" Leslie asked, He turned around to see Tobias sitting next to him. Tobias slung his arm around Leslie's stem and leaned his head on him.
"Hey Leslie, do you wanna go out sometime?" Tobias asked with a sly grin. Leslie put his leaf up and pushed Tobias a few inches away from him.
”I’m way out of your league. Besides, I would never date a boy who smells like a tuna sandwich left out in the sun.” Leslie said before turning around and looking out the window. Tobias blinked in surprise. That was a little cruel for a rejection. He was sure that Leslie would fall for him at that moment. Tobias puffed out his cheeks and crossed arms. He had to find someone else that appreciated him.
Tobias scanned the school bus, looking for someone that would fall for him. His eyes landed on Alan. Alan was a nice guy and would n be a great boyfriend. He would treat Tobias like a king. He could catch up to Alan in the halls when school started. Tobias gave a sly grin to himself. He was totally going to get a boyfriend by the end of the day.
Alan floated down the hallway, happily humming to himself. He twirled in the air, making his way to history class.
"Hey, Alan!" Tobias shouted. Alan stopped moving and turned around to see Tobias running after him. He ran up to Alan, only to put his hands on his knees to catch his breath. For a dude who always wears a sweatband, he was out of shape.
"Hey...Alan. Do you wanna...go on a date?" Tobias asked while catching his breath. Alan gave him an uneasy look.
"Sorry Tobias, I'm dating Carmen," Alan said apologetically. Tobias pouted and kicked his leg dejectedly. How could another person reject him? He was irresistible! Alan gave a sympathetic smile and floated down to Tobias's height. He wrapped his string around Tobias' shoulders.
"Don't look, sad friend, you'll find someone who loves you for who you are," Alan reassured. Before Tobias could say anything, Alan floated away to class.
Tobias couldn't stay mad at Alan. He was too nice. He put his hand on his chin and thought for a moment. He couldn't just go around asking out people who were taken. He had to ask out people who he thought were single. Tobias looked around the hallway. He spotted Banana Joe. Banana Joe stood in front of Idaho, doing a silly dance. Idaho laughed loudly. Tobias was confident that he was single. Luckily, they had chemistry together for first period.
Tobias continued to walk down the hallway, making his way to chemistry class. Banana Joe was very nice, funny, and had an amazing sense of humor. He would make a perfect boyfriend. Tobias entered the chemistry room that only has a few students in it. He walked to the back of the room and sat on a stool close to a window. He placed his hands on the counter, waiting for Banana Joe to enter.
After several minutes, Banana Joe entered with a little dance in his step. He was in a good mood, as usual. Tobias quickly fixed his hair and leaned into his hand. He gave a large smile. Banana Joe climbed onto the stool and looked over at Tobias. He smiled and waved.
"Hey Tobias, what's up?" Banana Joe asked.
"I think we have chemistry together," Tobias said with finger guns and a wink. Banana Joe gave a confused look.
"I know we have chemistry together, we're lab partners." Banana Joe stated with a smile. Tobias mentally facepalmed. Banana Joe wasn't the brightest, he should've phrased that better. Tobias quickly thought of another compliment. Something simple that Banana Joe would understand.
"I'm asking you out on a date," Tobias stated in a deadpanned tone. Banana Joe's face scrunched up confusion. He scratched the top of his head.
"How can you ask me out on a date? That's a fruit." Banana Joe stated. Tobias' mouth dropped open. There was no way he could date someone that dumb. It would be too frustrating to explain everything he said.
"Nevermind," Tobias muttered, looking out the window. He watched a bird fly into a tree with a bottle cap in its beak. The bird walked over to a smaller bird and dropped the bottle cap at the smaller bird's feet. The smaller bird looked down at the bottle cap and cuddled into the bigger bird's chest. An idea popped into Tobias' head. Maybe he was doing this the wrong way. He needed to buy someone's love instead.
Tobias stood in the gym, looking around for someone else to ask out. Luckily it was a free gym period so he could do whatever he wanted without getting in trouble. Now, who should he ask out? Gumball had a girlfriend so he couldn't ask him out. Besides, Gumball wasn't his type. Tobias may have asked out three dudes that day but he had standards. He looked over at Juke who was sitting on the bleachers, reading a book. Juke was smart. He was a little hard to understand at times but Tobias would manage it. He sauntered over to the bleachers and perched his leg up next to Juke, making him look up from his book.
"Hey Juke, do you wanna go on a date?" Tobias asked. Juke let out a series of spits and sputters, confusing Tobias. "Sooo, was that a yes or a no?" He asked. Juke did some vague hand gestures. Tobias reached under his sweatband and pulled out a crisp twenty dollar bill. He waved it in front of Jukes face.
"I'll pay you if you'll be my boyfriend." Tobias bribed. Juke followed the money with his eyes before shaking his head. He stuck his hands out and let out more sputters. Tobias let out a loud groan and took his foot off of the bleacher. "Nevermind, you're impossible to understand." He said walking away. Juke let out a disappointed whirring noise.
Tobias walked to the other side of the bleachers and put his hand on his chin. Who else could he ask out? The bell rang, making a look of surprise spread across his face. Has he spent the whole gym period looking for a boyfriend? He had only asked out one person and it was a failure. At least he could relax his brain at lunch.
He followed his classmates out of the gym and walked down the hallway. The hallway was crowded and he had to push past so he could get the good food before everyone else ate all of it. Tobias entered the cafeteria to see a decent sized line. It wasn't too long so he would get his food in a few minutes. He rushed onto the line and grabbed a tray.
A boy with a bomb head stomped past the line with his friends behind him. That was Bomb Guy and his gang. People got out of their way, not wanting to get pummeled. A smile came across Tobias' face. It would be nice to date a bad boy. He would be protected from other gangs and wouldn't get bothered by anyone. Bomb Guy was also taller and stronger than Tobias so he would be able to get carried around. That sounded like a dream.
'Spaghetti or fish?" Rocky asked, making Tobias snap out of his thoughts.
"Spaghetti," Tobias stated. Rocky scooped up a big glob of spaghetti and dropped it onto the tray. Tobias turned around and walked away from the line. He walked over to the bad kid table. All of the tables around them were empty, due to everyone being too scared to sit near them. The bad kids loudly laughed to each other, tossing food and forks at each other. Tobias sat down next to Bomb Guy and placed his tray on the table. The bad kids all stopped talking and looked over to Tobias.
"Who the hell are you?" The pink bear asked in a gruff voice. Tobias scooted a little closer to Bomb Guy.
"My name is Tobias, do you wanna go out on a date tomorrow night?" He asked. Bomb Guy gave a look of surprise before laughing loudly, banging his fist on the table. His gang laughed along making Tobias' heart sink. He had been laughed at for things but for some reason that really hurt him.
"Why would I go out with you? You're a loser!" Bomb Guy said between laughter. The cafeteria fell silent and the only thing that could be heard was the gang's laughter All eyes were on them. Bomb Guy lifted up Tobias' tray of spaghetti and dumped it on Tobias' head. Spaghetti dripped down his body, making his cheeks burn red. He had never been more humiliated in his entire life. Tobias stood up from the chair, still hearing the gang's laughter. He started to speed walk across the cafeteria, keeping his head low.
Tobias could feel everyone staring at him. His eyes were filled with tears and he walked out of the cafeteria. He heard the cafeteria doors slam behind him as he kept walking down the hallway. He wiped the tears and sniffled. Tobias couldn't stay at school for the rest of the day. He was covered in spaghetti, was humiliated in front of all of his classmates, and was crying now. He didn't care if he got in trouble for leaving school at this point, he just wanted to leave.
Tobias walked down the street, kicking a rock. His eyes were glued to the sidewalk. He had cleaned himself up in the school bathroom and snuck out through the bathroom window. He smelled like spaghetti sauce and cheap cologne now. Tobias' cheeks still burned red from the affair twenty minutes ago.
"Dang it!" Someone said, making him look up. Across the street, there was a tall cyclops. He stood in front of the skateboard store at the strip mall. In front of him, there was a container of french fries scattered across the sidewalk. It looked like he had dropped them. He had an odd shaped head that had moving static at the side. He wore a yellow shirt and red shorts. Tobias recognized him. He had seen him at the school library a few times. What was his name again? Rob, that was it! He was only a year older than Tobias.
Tobias' cheeks got hotter but this time it wasn't from embarrassment. His heart started to race in his chest and a smile spread across his face. What was this feeling? Was this what love at first sight was? He had flirted with so many people but this is the first time he actually felt something. He had to ask rob out. Tobias looked down the road and when he saw no cars were coming, he ran across the street. Rob muttered swears under his breath. He turned around to see Tobias standing inches from him. His pupils were dilated and his face was red.
"My name is Tobias, please date me." Tobias said in almost a whisper. Rob's eye widened and he took a step back in surprise. No one had ever asked him out before, let alone a stranger.
"I think you have the wrong person. I don't think you know me, I'm a nobody." Rob stated. Tobias gave a large smile.
"Of course I know you, you're Rob!" Tobias said with a friendly smile. Rob's eye widened in surprise. No one ever remembers his name.
"You know who I am?!" Rob asked in disbelief. Tobias eagerly nodded his head and grabbed Rob's hand.
"How can I forget a handsome face like yours?" Tobias asked. A loud crackle of static came from Rob's head and he jerked his hand back. His cheeks turned red and he took a step back.
"Woah, hold on. I don't even know you." Rob said in a panic. Tobias let out a hum. That was true, they never even had a conversation. An idea popped into his head.
"How about I take you tomorrow? We can meet in this spot tomorrow at 8:00 at night. We can get to know each other." Tobias stated. Rob looked away from Tobias. This person knew his name and seemed to be in love with him. Something about that didn't seem right. No one other than Gumball and Darwin knew who he was and that's only because he tried to kill them multiple times.
Besides, how did he know this wasn't just some cruel prank? Tobias could just be doing this for a laugh. Rob looked over at Tobias who was eagerly waiting for Rob's answer. His eyes sparkled excitedly. For some reason, Rob couldn't bring himself to say no. This was the first person who showed interest in him since he had gotten out of the void.
"Fine, I'll meet you here tomorrow at 8," Rob said. Tobias broke out into a large grin and ran off excitedly. He quickly turned back around, now several feet from Rob.
"I'll see you tomorrow!" Tobias shouted excitedly. Rob let out a shaky sigh. What did he get himself into?