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Smallboi has been added to the Assvengers Groupchat
Smallboi- um...what?
Tincan- I figured if I have to talk to them because of Sokovia, so do you
Smallboi- Oh, so they know about you-know-what?
Tincan- Yes, and only that
Smallboi- Roger that
Captain- Roger what?
Tincan- Leave my spider alone, Rogers
Falcon- Why is his name smallboi?
Tincan- Because he’s small?
Smallboi- You’re barely taller than me Mr. Stark
Tincan- Shhhhh
Smallboi- Did you guys know all of Mr. Stark’s shoes have lifts in them to make him look taller? They’re in the suit too
RedSpy- I like this kid
Captain- Kid?
RedSpy- What, you actually fell for that fake deep voice?
Captain- He’s a fucking kid?
Smallboi- Language
Tincan- Yes Rogers, don’t cuss in front of the spiderbaby
Smallboi- I’m not that young Mr. Stark!
NotAWolf- We fought a kid? Like an actual child?
Smallboi- I’m not a child!
Tincan- To be fair, he was almost a teenager
Smallboi- It wasn’t almost, I was definitely a teenager!
Tincan- Semantics
Hawkguy- You brought a child to Germany to fight us?
Tincan- I didn’t know how young he really was until we were on the plane, and when I tried to make him stay on the plane, he snuck off it them moment my back was turned
Scarlet- Of course you’d take a fucking kid to a battle
Smallboi- Shut up.
Scarlet- Excuse me?
Smallboi- No, I will not excuse you. You’re a jerk
Tincan- Play nice Underoos
Smallboi- No! They all hurt you and you’re just pretending that everything is fine! It’s not fine! And I’d tell them this face to face if they were allowed back, but because they won't cooperate, it probably won’t happen, therefore, I’ll tell them here.
NotAWolf- That’s completely understandable
Captain- You’re just going to let a kid yell at us Buck?
NotAWolf- Yes, he has the right to his own opinion, and I’ll admit, you guys could have worked with Stark more, or told me the full story before shoving me in the middle of it. We messed up big time, now it’s time to apologize and do our best to mend all the burned bridges.
Smallboi- I like you a little more now
Tincan- Who knew you’d be the first to apologize? Also, the Accords are being amended, so your return is almost guaranteed at this point, maybe even within the year.
RedSpy- Already? How’d you work that out?
Tincan- Rhodey and I convinced them that it would take far too long to round up all the younger mutants and train them to be Avengers. Most of them are also minors, so it wouldn’t be very safe for anyone to start them that young and just toss them to the sharks
HawkGuy- So where does that leave the kids?
Tincan- We’re working with Shield, new and improved, to start mini teams where they can learn to work with others in their areas and eventually, if they want to, join other sections of the Avengers
Captain- How long have you been working on this?
Tincan- Since I found out about Spidey’s age
Smallboi- It went...yeah.
Captain- Speaking of that, why are you letting a child fight villains?
Smallboi- He tried to stop me and take my suit, but that ended up with me being crushed by a building, so now he just trains me and helps me improve the suit
Falcon- How are you so calm about all of this
Smallboi- After so much trauma, it kinda just blends in together
Tincan- And this is why he’s in therapy
Falcon- Fair enough
Captain- Is he going to be in one of these smaller teams?
Tincan- Not exactly. He and a couple other people are going to be their own team under my guidance and funding, rather than Shield’s
Captain- Who else is on the team?
Smallboi- None of your business.
Tincan- What he said but nicer
NotAWolf- I’m assuming their friends of yours you’re worried about
Smallboi- Mayhaps
RedSpy- Do you enjoy working with Tony?
Smallboi- Yeah, it’s a lot of fun!
HawkGuy- Are we talking about the same Tony?
Smallboi- Biologically, yes. Psychologically, no.
Falcon- What?
Smallboi- Friday has showed me clips of the Mr. Stark you guys knew, and talked to, and that’s not my Mr. Stark. Mine is nicer, he makes food, takes care of his friends, shows up to some of my school stuff if my aunt can’t, and won’t even have alcohol in the Compound so he won’t fall into bad habits. You guys don’t know my Tony
Tincan- Kid, stop being mushy
Smallboi- You’re not the boss of me!
Tincan- I am though
Smallboi- Okay….I’ll tell H.
Tincan- Shouldn’t you be asleep?
Smallboi- Mr. Stark, it’s 7:30am
Tincan- Yes, but did you sleep at all last night?
Smallboi- No, but I’ve been talking with you guys all night
HawkGuy- Shit, your parents would kill us if they knew
Tincan- Don’t do it kid
Smallboi- Imma do it
Tincan- I’ll tell your therapist
Smallboi- My parents can’t be mad
Tincan- And he’s doing it
Falcon- Why not?
Smallboi- They’re dead.
Captain- I’m sorry kid
Smallboi- I don’t even remember them, so it’s not really as bad as people think
Scarlet- Did you ever think that maybe you shouldn’t tell strangers your parents are dead?
Smallboi- Considering only Mr. Stark knows who I am, and maybe Mrs. Blackwidow ‘cause she’s an awesome spy, then there’s no harm to it
NotAWolf- Fair assumption
RedSpy- If it helps, your school pictures are adorable. Although, when we meet we will be talking about those bruises
Smallboi- Yes ma’am.
Tincan- Stop trying to parent my spiderkid
RedSpy- No, we are both spiders, therefore I have natural dibs
Tincan- Yes, but do you have legal custody?
RedSpy- No, but neither do you
Tincan- I have emergency guardianship which would turn to legal custody if necessary
RedSpy- Touche. You win this round Stark
Smallboi- He cried when my aunt added him
Tincan- Shut your mouth
Smallboi- Nope.
Captain- So you stalked this kid, found him, brought him to Germany, tried to stop him from fighting, only to basically adopt him?
Tincan- Yes.
Smallboi- In an overly simplified explanation that talks nothing about how we actually bonded, yes.
NotAWolf- I like this kid
Tincan- Great, now he’s got two spies on his side. The world is doomed.