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In the wake of Jin Guangyao’s death, chaos had erupted throughout the cultivation world. The Jin clan was left headless, with rumours swirling around Jin Guangyao’s death and crimes, some condemning him for the deaths he caused while others called for more evidence, defending the face he had shown to the world. Amidst the chaos it was absurd to hand over the position of clan leader to a child, especially one with such a poor temperament. At fifteen Jin Ling was still scolded by his uncle and constantly running off by himself, he didn’t have the resilience of Jiang Cheng, who rebuilt Lotus Pier at such a young age.
And then there was Wei Wuxian, back from the dead, but after Guangyin Temple he seemed to have vanished once again, this time with Lan Wangji at his side; all of which sparked more disbelief, further shaking the foundations of the cultivation world.
So, while the adults scrambled to put things back together, the juniors were sent to Cloud Recesses to attend lectures as though nothing was happening. In truth, it was because Cloud Recesses was fairly stable despite Lan Wangji’s association with Wei Wuxian and the rumours that Lan Xichen was in shock after the loss of his great friend, Jin Guangyao, quiet and withdrawn. The disciples all knew why they were there, in a place where if they breathed too loudly they risked punishment, and Jin Ling felt every bit of it.
On the rare days when there were no lectures to attend, Jin Ling liked to walk the back hills of Cloud Recesses; he liked it there, the rivers ran quietly unlike in Lotus Pier, where the rivers and lakes were always filled with boats and the pier always full of vendors calling out their wares. Lotus Pier was always full of noise to him, and Carp Tower was only a haven so long as no one was trying to pick a fight with him.
Sitting on a warm rock by a quiet creek, Jin Ling tried to keep his thoughts calm. He only needed to endure three months, and then he would return home to some kind of normalcy. The elders will have made decisions; he would be sixteen and ready to take on the responsibilities of a clan leader, and it wouldn’t matter that the other disciples didn’t like him. Behind him, a twig snapped and he whipped around, clutching his sword that unsheathed an inch before he came to recognize the figure in white.
Sizhui held his hands up as if pleading innocence, his smile soft and faint. “I’m sorry-- I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Jin Ling exhaled hard, lowering his sword. “You didn’t. Don’t be stupid.”
Sizhui’s smile didn’t falter as he stepped out into the sun, glance around at the familiar surroundings. “How funny that you would come here. When your uncle was young and attending lectures, he would come here as well…”
“My uncle?” Jin Ling’s voice was harsh, and Sizhui straightened up, his lips tense-- of course, Jin Ling had complicated relationships with all of his uncles. His family history was even more tangled than Sizhui’s, who flinched at the array of emotions that swarmed Jin Ling’s face.
“Ah, Master Wei… And Clan Leader Jiang, they would come back here and play. Master Wei even took Clan Leader Nie out to catch fish,” his eyes lit up when he said it, like it was so outrageous to even think about! Jin Ling, however, seemed entirely unimpressed, scowling as he looked away.
“Why are you here?”
“I was looking for you,” Sizhui said, so earnestly that Jin Ling felt heat creep up along the back of his neck. When he looked back at him this time, Jin Ling took in Sizhui’s appearance properly, his crisp white robes and the headband that stood out bright against his dark hair. And that smile, always there, like he was born with it. And, inexplicably, Sizhui was holding a large basket absolutely full with carrots, freshly washed and bright. He seemed to notice Jin Ling’s expression, shifting his grip on the handle of the basket. “I thought… You might want to come and feed the rabbits with me.”
Jin Ling stared. Sizhui held his gaze steady, tilting his chin up like he was gearing up for a fight that he wouldn’t back down from. Jin Ling’s mouth opened and then closed again as a hundred questions came to mind, but he couldn’t pick out the order in which to ask them… So instead he nodded slightly and stood up, dusting off his robes and taking up his sword. It wasn’t a long walk, and like all things in Cloud Recesses it was quiet, neither boys speaking, although Sizhui was often quiet and seemed content with it, the basket swinging slightly at his side and his mouth soft, corners upturned. Jin Ling glanced at him from the corner of his eye for as long as he could before heat prickled along the back of his neck again, and then he curtly looked forward, walking a little faster.
Sizhui led them up a slope to a lightly wooded area, and the first thing Jin Ling noticed was Apple, the donkey who had kicked his beloved wonder dog, Fairy, resting under a tree. He immediately prickled, yanking his sword out of its sheath as he stalked through the grass.
“You stupid donkey! You hurt my dog! My uncl---” Jin Ling cut himself off, and Sizhui grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back, shaking his head.
“Jin Ling, you can’t! That’s Master Wei’s donkey, Apple, you’ll get in trouble if you hurt it!” Sizhui seemed truly frantic, and if looks could kill he would have dropped dead from the look on Jin Ling’s face. For a tense moment they stared each other down, and then in a sulk Jin Ling put away his sword, yanking his arm free from Sizhui’s hold. “It’s a harmless donkey, Jin Ling, it’s quite old and just wants to sleep all day. Please, forgive Apple for hurting Fairy.”
Before anything more could be said, something tugged on the hem of Jin Ling’s robe. It was a small white rabbit, only young, and then suddenly the entire clearing came alive with rabbits! More than Jin Ling could count they seemed to keep coming, flocking to Sizhui they thumped their back feet and yanked on his robe, tiny pink noses twitching. Jin Ling’s jaw dropped and he took a few stumbling steps back as the rabbits crowded at his feet, too.
“Wh-why are there so many?!”
Sizhui leant down, gently brushing the rabbits away, “I know, I’m late today, but I wanted to bring a friend. After all, there are so many of you, and I only have two hands. Be patient? And move please, so we can sit.” He spoke so calmly and sensibly to these little animals and Jin Ling was astonished, even more so when they seemed to obey, clearing enough space in the grass that Sizhui could sit down, gesturing for Jin Ling to join him. Jin Ling was too stunned to refuse even if he wanted to, so he sat down with his sword clutched to his chest, wide eyed as the rabbits gathered around him again, stretching up as high as they could to sniff at him. Once again Sizhui gently shooed them, setting the basket of carrots between himself and Jin Ling, from which he drew out a small, simple knife with a bone handle. Expertly, like he’d been doing it for years, he picked up a carrot and slowly started to slice it and hand out the morsels to the rabbits.
“I heard that there were only a few at first,” he started, finally answering Jin Ling’s question, “but… well, they breed, don’t they? When I was very little… I remember Hanguang-Jun setting me down in the grass and letting the rabbits climb all over me, there were already so many then that I was completely covered! It’s funny… Master Wei did something similar, too. They really are alike…” he seemed to drift in his thought for a moment before shaking it off, smiling brightly at Jin Ling before handing him a few slices of carrot. “I’m sorry, I’m talking too much. They’re very friendly- here- feed them.”
Jin Ling hesitated for a moment before relinquishing his grip on his sword to take the carrots. With a great deal of seriousness, he lowered his hand down into the grass and watched as the rabbits hopped over his arm and trampled on his sleeve to get the slices, while a baby perched on his wrist and part of his palm, nibbling on a small piece. When a larger rabbit came to take it, Jin Ling quickly pulled his hand up, catching the baby rabbit before it fell, he held it close to his chest so that it could eat in peace. As if things couldn’t get anymore surreal, Sizhui was taking his boots off, setting them neatly aside. He then took off his socks as well and tucked him into his boots before stretching his legs out and digging his toes into the grass. Still slicing carrots he seemed like a young man entirely at ease, not at all a member of the stuffy Lan Clan who had over three thousand rules to follow. Jin Ling wouldn’t be surprised if there was a rule against taking your boots off for anything other than bathing and sleeping!
“You…” Jin Ling started, hesitating as he carefully ran a finger over the baby rabbit’s ears. Soft as silk velvet. “This is such a menial job! Why would they make you do it? Feeding animals… That’s a servant’s duty!”
“I like feeding them,” Sizhui replied patiently, leaning over to gently tap the nose of the rabbit in Jin Ling’s hand. He was so close Jin Ling could smell the lingering scent of incense and soap, if he bent his head only a little his lips would touch Sizhui’s hair. “They were the first friends I made when I came to Cloud Recesses, and now that…”
“Now that?” Jin Ling asked, his voice as close to gentle as it could be, as if he spoke any louder it would scare Sizhui away. But he stayed, running his finger over the rabbit’s forehead before he looked up again, his smile still there though it seemed… Sad. “Sizhui?”
“Well… Once you go home, you’ll become the Jin Clan Leader, you’ll be so busy… We won’t get to go night-hunting together anymore, will we? So these little rabbits will be my dearest friends again.”
Jin Ling was speechless. Suddenly he stood up, the rabbit still in his hand and his face furious, his earlobes turned bright red. “N-no! That won’t happen! Even when I’m Clan Leader, I’ll always go night hunting with you! In Lanling, our hunting grounds are the best for rare monsters! I’ll take you there every month! I--I… want to…” his expression changed, his features softening aside from his mouth, which stayed tense. Sizhui was looking at him. He had such a delicate face, Jin Ling thought, that he would be like Hanguang-Jun-- someone who always looked youthful-- but no, Jin Ling shook the thought off. It was wrong. Hanguang-Jun never smiled. Sizhui looked more like Zewu-Jun.
“Every month?” Sizhui asked, and as he made to stand Jin Ling offered his hand out without a thought. Sizhui took it as he got to his feet, and then kept hold of it, his fingers-- a little coarse from playing the guqin-- stayed wrapped around Jin Ling’s. He smiled and it was so bright that Jin Ling almost wanted to shield his eyes, but his hands were full. One with a little rabbit, and one with Sizhui’s own hand.
“That’s right. Every month.” Jin Ling nodded, squeezing Sizhui’s hand gently. “Besides, if you spend too much time in Cloud Recesses, you’ll become like Hanguang-Jun… Or worse, like Wei Wuxian…”
Sizhui laughed and it was like the sound of a silver bell chiming, only softer. The back of Jin Ling’s neck was suddenly burning, his earlobes pink. Even his nose was pink like a rabbit’s while Sizhui’s skin stayed pale and calm, like they weren’t standing together in a field of rabbits, holding hands. Jin Ling would never understand these Lan Clan disciples! How could they be so straight-faced all the time!
“Jin Ling, is there something your clan does to seal promises?” Sizhui asked. Jin Ling frowned slightly, wracking his brain to see if he knew of any such tradition in his clan. He’d never had to seal a promise before, but Sizhui seemed to be asking sincerely. After a moment, Jin Ling shook his head; no, there was no such thing. Sizhui nodded, a small knot forming between his eyebrows. “Well… The Lan clan does, for very important promises.”
Jin Ling straightened up, his expression serious, even though it was undercut by the rabbit nibbling at the front of his robes. He was ready to do whatever Sizhui said to make sure that he would come to Lanling every month to night hunt with him. He flinched slightly when Sizhui lifted his free hand and pressed it lightly over his eyes, but stayed still. Nothing happened for what felt like a long time, and then suddenly he felt something soft brush against his lips, a flicker, and then something with a lot more purpose. Behind Sizhui’s hand Jin Ling’s eyes went wide, his grip on his other hand tightened, but Jin Ling didn’t pull away from the kiss. It was so soft and unsure, the simple press of Sizhui’s lips against his, he could feel Sizhui’s mouth quiver as the moment drew out and then he pulled away, and Jin Ling’s lips felt cold in his absence. He gently pushed Sizhui’s hand away from his eyes, and to his shock Sizhui’s soft, pleasant face was bright red, right to the tip of his ears, his eyes slightly glassy.
“Did…” Jin Ling slowly smiled, “Sizhui, did you just lie ?”
“I!” Sizhui protested, his mouth hanging open, but no more words came. His eyes shined, and in pure terror Jin Ling realized that he was about to cry. In a panic Jin Ling quickly ducked to put the rabbit down and then he threw both arms around Sizhui, squeezing him close.
“Don’t cry! It’s okay! H-how about…” Jin Ling stared over Sizhui’s shoulder, trying to find what he wanted to say. “It’s not a lie, Sizhui, you just made a new tradition. When… dearest friends make a promise, they have to seal it with… with a kiss.”
Sizhui quivered in Jin Ling’s arms, burying his face into his shoulder, it took him a long time before he calmed down. His breath was warm on Jin Ling’s neck when he sighed, and he pulled back from the hug with a determined nod. His cheeks were ruddy and eyes wet. If anyone else ever made Sizhui look like that, Jin Ling decided, he would set Fairy on them. Realizing that that was a promise, he leaned in quickly and kissed Sizhui’s ruddy, soft cheek. There. Anyone who made Sizhui cry would get chomped to death by Fairy from now on!
“Jin Ling-” Sizhui started, but before anything else, they suddenly heard the clutter of the basket toppling over. The carrots rolled out into the grass and the rabbits swarmed over them. “Hey! You shouldn’t help yourselves! You’ll eat too much and get sick!”
Both boys quickly gathered the carrots up, Sizhui scolding the rabbits all the while, and once everything was cleaned up and the rabbits thoroughly cowed, Sizhui and Jin Ling sat down, the basket between them, and Sizhui began slicing the carrots again. It seemed like nothing had happened between them, except for the pink blush across Sizhui’s nose. Jin Ling picked up a handful of sliced carrots to feed the rabbits that gathered at his sides, sneaking glances at the boy across from him.
“Sizhui?”
“Yes, Jin Ling?” He replied softly, popping a slice of carrot into his mouth and handing another to a rabbit.
“Can I come and feed the rabbits with you every day?” Jin Ling asked, scooping up a baby rabbit- whether it was the same one as before or not, it was impossible to say, but it seemed just as happy to sit in his hand as the one before. He stroked it’s ears softly and the rabbit closed its eyes in contentment.
“Yes, of course.” Sizhui smiled, and putting the knife back into the basket, he shifted onto his knees and leaned over, pressing a kiss to Jin Ling’s cheek. “I promise. But you have to be nice to Apple.”