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Karen Wheeler was a mother first and foremost. So, naturally, she knew when something was wrong with one of her kids. They may pretend like they’re fine but Karen sees through the façades they throw up easily.
They have specific tells that always alert Karen to the fact her children are going through something. Unfortunately, they always refuse to let her in on what’s going on in their lives. Nancy tends to lash out when she’s asked about how she’s feeling or she innocently foists her moods off on schoolwork that Karen is sure Nancy has completed already. Mike normally takes the denial route until the end when he’s been pushed to the limit and can no longer reign in his explosive temper. It hurts Karen sometimes. She’s tried to reassure them so many times that she will support them in whatever they’re going through. Her desperate desire is to make sure her children are happy but Karen can’t do that unless they willingly let her in on their lives. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking but Karen has come to accept that both her eldest children are just at that age. Luckily, Baby Holly is still chatty enough and shares everything with her mother – mundane as her little problems are.
Nancy had stopped sharing things with Karen long ago. It was gradual with her though. Nancy’s transition into her teen years made it so that she slowly started sharing more and more with her friends and less with Karen. The days where she would rush back after school and share everything that happened with Karen while eating a plate of freshly cut fruit that Karen had set out for her are long gone. Karen had been sad when she noticed but she told herself she still had Mike.
Mike had always been closer to his mother. He was a mama’s boy even if he denied it. From his childhood he had been sweet and sensitive; not at all rough and tumble like most other boys his age. He had made good friends but it soon became apparent that his interests diverted from the norm as well. He preferred to write and play games and read books than go outside and play ball games with his father.
Ted had been disappointed. He had a single son and even that son refused to take interest in what Ted considered the ‘appropriate male’ hobbies young boys should take interest in. No matter how hard Ted tried, Mike simply was not intrigued by playing with balls and bats and had the hand eye coordination of similar to that of a baby deer walking on its legs for the first time. Eventually Ted had lost interest and stopped trying with his son entirely. Karen had had many a fight with Ted over that. It wasn’t Mike’s fault what his interests were and they were perfectly harmless. He was good at science and technology and those were respectable hobbies, especially with how the era was progressing. He was a smart boy and got good grades even if they weren’t as outstanding as Nancy’s. Making sports teams was not what defined how much parents were supposed to love their children. Ted remained indifferent though, paying no heed to Karen’s frustration over his lack of involvement in their son’s life and the negative impact it might have. Although, it wasn’t like he had been too involved with Nancy either, Karen consoled herself. Ted was pretty clueless about his entire family.
Despite Karen’s worries that Ted’s indifference would leave Mike with deep-seated hurt, Mike himself, seemed to not mind his father’s lack of interest in him and his hobbies. He stuck close to Karen when he was young and then his friends as he got older. He didn’t obviously start shutting Karen out but she knew those days were fast approaching as he got closer to his teen years. Karen tried but she couldn’t always relate to his enjoyment of science and comics and DnD so despite his best efforts, Mike knew when to go to his friends for things his mother couldn’t enjoy with him. But Mike still made time for his mother, and she, in turn, made sure he never felt like his interests were odd or wrong. She was still always the person he came for when he needed a hug or a pat on the head. Karen decided that, as long as her baby boy still needed her for that, having him drift away wouldn’t be too hard – especially since she had baby Holly to dote on now and she wasn’t about to leave Karen in the dust anytime soon.
Even if her children were drifting from her though, Karen always knew when they were going through a rough time. She especially knew Mike and Nancy were both having particularly difficult weeks during that fateful November in 1983. Nancy was going through a bout of teenage rebellion and Mike had lost one of his closest friends. Karen was helpless as she watched them process their emotions on their own, hoping, they’d decide to come to her for help. Nancy wasn’t ready to talk at all and Mike… he wasn’t having it easy either but he was coping, at least as far as Karen could see. She let him stay home and spend time with his friends, hoping that would be able to make him feel better until Will was found (and Karen really hoped Will would be found, if not for her son’s sake then Joyce’s – who was a fellow mother and Karen knew firsthand as one that it would never be easy to go through such a traumatic experience).
All in all, Karen was worried but she was doing her best to keep it together and hoping her children were doing alright. Nothing could have prepared her for the government showing up at her doorstep however and finding out that apparently, her children were in trouble. The men in black had sat her and Ted down and shown a picture of a Russian girl with a shaved head. They claimed her son had been harboring her like a fugitive. Karen’s emotions had gone through shock, denial and anger at that.
It was unlike Mike to do something so dangerous and stupid and keep secrets so big from her. Her first instinct was to get angry and throw these men out of her home for daring to insinuate her sweet son had committed a crime. It was impossible. Mike could never have been able to hide someone in her own home without Karen noticing. Furthermore, Mike was the furthest thing from a delinquent or a criminal. He was just a child. But before Karen could voice these things, Ted had quickly taken over – honored, that the government he was so patriotic towards was trusting them with a secret as big as a Russian fugitive on the loose. He promised to inform them if they found anyone suspicious whereas Mike was angry and adamant; he’d never tell these people anything about anyone they were looking for. He denied the accusations the agents piled on him and the label on the girl they were looking for as dangerous. That alone was enough for Karen to realize at least part of what the government was saying was true but she wasn’t sure how much.
Mike clammed up when she and Ted asked him about it later. His eyes were angry and distrustful towards her but especially towards Ted. The older man had given the boy quite a talking to about remaining loyal to the authorities that protected them from the commies. Mike’s scoffs hadn’t been concealed at all and for the first time Karen wondered if Mike’s teenage rebellion was here already. It wasn’t unlike him to roll his eyes at his father and Karen had never exactly blamed him for it but Mike was practically simmering as Ted droned on and on.
Finally, Karen stepped in the more she realized Mike wasn’t listening. She’d told her husband Mike had had more than enough, then directed her son upstairs for bed. He was obviously tired and traumatized by the occurrences at the school which Karen was still fuzzy on the details about. Having been interrogated and then forced to change his beliefs regarding someone he’d befriended probably didn’t make that any easier on him. She had gone in to his room half an hour later, ready to tuck him in to bed. She had found him coming up the basement stairs though, looking crestfallen and ready to cry.
“Do you wanna tell me anything, honey?” Karen had asked as she gently wrapped the covers around Mike. He was subdued, despite knowing that Will was safe.
Mike looked at her for a moment, scrutinizing her, almost. Karen felt odd to be on the receiving end of such a critical stare. “No,” He eventually replied. “I’m good Mom.”
Karen sighed. She hadn’t really expected Mike to open up, not when he had glared at both her and her husband so angrily earlier. She hoped he knew though, that even if Ted was loyal to the government, his mother was loyal to her children.
Karen was glaringly aware of the fact that she did not have the full story of whatever was going on around her children. She wasn’t as easy to trust the government as her husband either, not when both Mike and Nancy had looked so revolted and had refused to cooperate. Both were stubborn and rarely agreed on anything but for some reason both of Karen’s eldest had a silent agreement regarding the people that had invaded their home. Deciding to drop it for now, she kissed Mike’s forehead and was about to leave when she heard a broken voice call out behind her, “Mom.”
Mike was sitting up in his bed, tears in his eyes. He gulped, clearly trying to control them. His expression indicated he probably hadn’t meant to call out to his mom but he hadn’t been able to help it. Karen’s heart broke and for a moment she wondered if Mike would tell her what had really happened. Instead he just looked at her miserable, and Karen had gone over and held him while her son broke down again. Eventually he fell asleep and Karen had tucked him in once more before checking on Nancy and repeating the cycle. As stand-offish as she usually was, Nancy was vulnerable too and looked more guilty than anything else.
It was past three in the morning when Karen Wheeler finally went to bed that night.
The next few days were tense in the Wheeler household but things slowly went back to normal for everyone. The incident with the government officials and the Russian fugitive was an unspoken event that they all pretended hadn’t occurred at all. Nancy quickly distracted herself through other means but Karen noticed that despite Mike’s visits to the hospital to see Will, he still looked depressed and spent more time than usual in the basement.
It was about a week after the incident that Mike suddenly had a shift in behavior again. At the dinner table, Mike was in a rush, basically inhaling his food. Karen was accustomed to having her kids hurry through their meal but today there was a different sort of agitation in Mike’s eyes. He looked anxious and jumpy and the way he raced down to the basement after wolfing down his meal hadn’t gone unnoticed. Karen almost decided to let it be but later in the evening she saw Mike grabbing extra blankets from the linen closet.
“Michael! Where are you taking those blankets?” Karen had asked. It was cold but wasn’t nearly enough to warrant so many extra blankets. The first snow had barely fallen and turned into slush two nights ago leaving only a slight chill behind.
Mike jumped hearing his mother’s voice, blind panic taking over his features until he schooled his expression into a more neutral one. His tone was even as he spoke, “I just wanted a few extra blankets for my blanket fort mom. I promise I’ll bring them back up in a few days.”
Karen pursed her lips but then nodded. If this was how Mike was coping with recent events, she wouldn’t stop him.
What worried her more was the next day he ended up skipping school again. She had come home from her errands to find the medicine cabinet left open. It had been closed before she had left and a few minutes after, Mike had made an appearance, unaware that she was home. Mike had looked scared upon being caught but Karen had only sat down next to him and offered to talk.
“Mike, are you feeling sick?” She asked. He shook his head at first but then nodded.
“Just a stomach ache, Mom. I already took medicine for it but I didn’t really feel like school today.” His voice came out in a mumble like he usually did when he was lying and felt bad about it, but who else would he be needing the medicine for?
Karen observed him for a few seconds. The medicine missing definitely included a stomach relief syrup but there was a noticeable absence of fever reducers as well. She promptly checked Mike’s temperature and found he was normal. This behavior was now seriously starting to concern Karen. Making a blanket fort and skipping school was normal but hoarding medicine?
“Honey, if something is bothering you then I need to know how to help. Talk to me. Trust me. I’ll do my best to make it better,” Karen implored. She watched as desperation fought behind her only son’s eyes. She wondered why he held back when she was trying so hard to meet him halfway. It almost made Karen cry of frustration sometimes. Was she not a good enough mother? She was hopeful as she watched Mike, he looked like he wanted to tell her; but eventually the fight behind his eyes died out and he made the decision to not say anything.
“I’m ok Mom. Things have just been weird that’s all. Can I go now?”
His tone implied he didn’t want the conversation to continue so Karen nodded. She watched as Mike raced down the basement again, growing more and more worried. She debated on following him but considering there was nothing left to talk about, she chose on going to start on dinner instead all the while trying to ignore the feeling of inadequacy. She knew in her heart she wasn’t a bad mom. Mike was just growing and needed his alone time. Still, Karen couldn’t help but feel helpless as her son behaved oddly and she was unable to figure out the reason why.
It was only after dinner, when Mike was walking around near tears, that Karen couldn’t stand it anymore. Mike had always been emotional and while it had bothered him growing up, Karen had made him aware that displaying his feelings openly was a brave thing to do. The boy wore his heart on his sleeve so Karen could instantly see that something was very wrong.
Mike went through dinner but barely touched his food. Even Nancy noticed something was wrong and she was a space case in her own way since Barb had gone missing. Hawkins had never seen so many tragedies in a row but Nancy was content to be with Steve so Karen watched her but didn’t bother her too much, knowing Nancy would rather not talk with her mother about these things these days. Where Mike wore his heart on his sleeve, Nancy was the direct opposite – impossible to read unless you wanted her to.
Karen put Holly to bed soon after dinner, determined to go and talk to Mike and get something substantial out of him even if he refused to tell her the full of what was bothering him. Her son had something weighing on him heavily and she wasn’t about to let him have breakdowns alone when he had a living breathing mother to cry on.
“Mike!” She called out gently as she made her way down the basement stairs. The boy in question raced to block her entrance to the door as soon as he heard her.
“Mom! You can’t come down here!” He looked panicked.
“Don’t be silly Michael. Step aside. Something is bothering you and I need to know.”
“I’m FINE, Mom! Just, you have to go. I’ll be upstairs in a minute.”
Normally Karen would have scolded Mike for his behavior but she would have acknowledged the basement as his safe space and would have agreed to wait upstairs. This time, however, she quickly realized how odd Mike was acting. He kept stealing glances to the side of the room with the blanket fort and she couldn’t help but notice how he’d lowered his voice despite basically yelling at her.
Karen frowned.
“Are you hiding something down here Mike?”
“What? No! NO! I’m not. Mom, I’m working on something important and I’ll come talk in a minute ok. I-“
Karen pushed past Mike, ignoring her son’s protests. She made her way straight to the blanket fort and her heart almost stopped as she noticed someone lying in it. A girl, to be exact. With a shaved head. Bundled up in the blankets Mike had taken and fast asleep.
Karen’s mouth was agape as she tried to figure out how to react.
“Mom. I can explain,” Mike whispered weakly. His voice was heavy with tears but also defiance. Karen turned around with a glare.
“Mike, this is who you’ve been hiding? After all the trouble last week? You know the government said she’s dangerous!” Karen’s emotions were muddled. She was upset her son was hiding a girl but was also heavily confused and tired. She just needed an explanation.
At her words, Mike seemed to explode; all fear in his face disappearing.
“She’s. Not. Dangerous!” He thundered. “The government was lying mom! She’s not even Russian. They want to hurt her so they lied to you.”
Karen was left even more baffled. She tried to formulate a response, deciding to focus on what Mike had said for now, “Even if they were lying, Mike, you should have told someone! Contacted the authorities that aren’t the government! Told me, even! This isn’t the way! How do you even know they’re lying?”
“Contact who, Mom?” Mike fired back. “Everyone is in on it! They would have turned her in at once!”
“Did you ever think there could be a reason Michael? The authorities might know something we don’t! Sweetie, you’re young and there’s a lot that could be wrong with this girl. You barely know her even if you may have helped her before!” Karen was desperate. She didn’t understand what was going on but if this was the reason her son was so depressed, she had to nip it in the bud.
“She’s not dangerous mom! They’ve hurt her! I won’t let her go back!” He said darkly.
“You could have told me.” Karen sounded wounded. “I’m here to help you Mike. You can trust me! Tell me what’s going on, please!”
“How can I tell you what’s going on when you don’t listen? Yeah you say we can trust you but you’ve been doing a great job of that!” Mike spat. “You won’t even listen to me when I’m telling you El isn’t dangerous! How can I trust you with the whole story?”
Karen was taken aback. Her insecurities of being a bad mother came back with a vengeance. Did her kids really believe she didn’t mean it when she said she’d listen? Had she done such a bad job of proving her words to them earlier? Mike continued.
“You always say you’re here for us mom but when we need you, you already have your mind made up before we can tell you our side! You want us to trust you so why don’t you trust us?”
Mike looked regretful at how he snapped after the words left his mouth but Karen could see in his eyes that he believed them. Is this what her kids thought of her? She wondered. Is this why they refused to tell her things. They thought she was going to disapprove every time? That her support was only limited to empty words?
Before she could voice these thoughts, a smaller weaker voice broke the silence between them.
“M-Mike…” the girl – El, Mike had called her – whimpered. Karen was amazed as the irritated expression on her son’s face immediately melted into one of concern.
“El?” He pushed past his mother and rushed to the blanket fort. “El, it’s ok. I’m here. Is your head hurting again?”
“Mike…” was the only thing she whispered again.
Karen observed silently as her son took care of the small girl. His voice was soft and gentle and his expression frantic as he looked over her. For the first time Karen noticed that the girl was bundled up in blankets and the missing medicine was on the table along with a glass of water. She also realized how, during their entire argument, Mike hadn’t raised his voice at all – almost like he was trying hard not to disturb the third occupant in the room.
The girl was sick, Karen realized. Just as she came to that realization, Karen was alarmed as the girl coughed – quite painfully – and then started crying softly.
“It hurts Mike,” she sobbed. “Here and here and… bad.” She shuddered as she gestured to her head and her stomach and then her chest.
Mike looked helpless and about to cry too.
“Its ok, El. It’s ok.” He said, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice as he tried to shush the girl’s crying. Karen was again struck by how soft her son was being. He was kind by nature but impatient and easily irritated. Never had she seen him so patient and gentle. He had completely forgotten she was standing behind him and his focus was solely on the girl before him.
“I’ll go and get you some hot water and honey. It’ll help with your cough and… and… I don’t think you can take more medicine just yet but I’ll see if I can find something to help your fever.” He was desperate, trying to comfort her but not wanting to lie either.
Karen finally snapped out of her reverie at Mike’s words. He was an intelligent boy but having to take care of someone so horribly sick was something he had never had to do before. He was helpless. Despite her reservations about this stranger, Karen was a mother; She couldn’t see a sick child and not help, especially when it was affecting her son so badly too.
“Step aside, Mike.” Karen said softly. Mike looked up as if just remembering his mother was there. The panic returned to his face.
“Mom! Wai-“
Karen ignored him as she kneeled down next to the fort and the girl bundled in blankets. “Hey, sweetie. I’m Mike’s mom.”
The girl looked at her scared, with teary eyes. She flinched as Karen came closer which was not at all surprising since it was their first time meeting each other, after all.
“It seems you have a fever but can I check to make sure?” Karen asked gently.
El turned to Mike for reassurance and an answer. She wasn’t sure if she could trust anyone else just yet, especially when Mike had hidden her from his mother for a reason. Mike, for his part, was just as confused but he knew El needed help and his was unequipped to provide it. This was El’s first time getting sick after living her whole life in a sterile lab and it was bad. He didn’t know how to deal with it but his mom might so he knew he needed her help. He nodded slightly and El turned back to Karen. She flinched again slightly when Karen, having taken El turning to her as approval, touched her forehead to gauge her temperature.
“Oh… That’s quite the temperature.” Karen said. “Mike, did you give her medicine? And when did she last eat.”
Mike looked nervous as he started rambling. He was afraid he may have hurt El by giving her the wrong medicine even though he had checked four different times if he had the right ones.
“She had a stomach ache when I found her yesterday and she vomited. I think it was because of the cold cuz she didn’t have many layers on. The snow must have made her so sick. I gave her some of the stomach pain medicine. She did eat so I gave her some Eggos. She likes those. But then she threw those up too and didn’t want to eat anything so after that I just gave her some crackers. She didn’t eat many though so I don’t know if the fever medicine would work. She’s been sleeping most of today cuz her head hurts and I think she has a chest cold.”
Karen nodded at this assessment. It seemed to line up.
“Alright, well I need you to go upstairs and get me some of the washcloths. Her fever is high so we need to bring it down. Then you’ll have to help me make some soup, ok?”
Mike nodded fervently as El looked between them in confusion. She coughed again and then gave a sudden cry, whimpering as another bolt of pain went through her head.
“It’ll be alright, honey.” Karen said softly. Her heart went out to this poor girl and for a while Karen decided it was best to shelve the conversation about what to do with her and whether to send her back after she was better. The girl, while having no obvious bruises, seemed very weak and small for her age. Her fear and skittishness unnatural too. Karen would be lying if she said her curiosity wasn’t piqued and quickly becoming concern. How much of what Mike had said was true?
Twenty minutes later, El had fallen asleep again, a damp washcloth on her forehead to help with her temperature. Karen employed Mike’s help as she got the ingredients for soup ready, suddenly relieved Ted was fast asleep on the La-Z-Boy. She didn’t need questions about why she was cooking again so close to midnight but then she snorted at her own thoughts – as if Ted would care at all why she was in the kitchen.
“What happened to her Mike?” Karen asked as she cut up the vegetables. Seeing how thin and weak the girl was made Karen worried. She needed to know the story. This was her meeting Mike half way. She was going to actually listen before making any decisions.
“The Hawkins Lab… they kept her, Mom. She was a prisoner for 12 years. She can… do things. With her mind. And the lab? They hurt her for it. She doesn’t remember anything before it. She didn’t even know what a friend is. I had to tell her.” Mike looked distraught as he explained. Karen looked skeptical.
“They used her mom. She was an experiment. And they hurt her a lot. She finally escaped the night Will disappeared and well…” Mike gulped, “I found her while me and Dustin and Lucas were out looking for him.”
Karen set down her knife in shock. “Mike! I forbade you to do that!”
“I know! I know!” Mike threw up his hands placatingly. “But we couldn’t sit and do nothing! And it was a good thing we went out cuz we found El. She was running from the bad men from the lab. I brought her home and hid her.” Mike, noticing Karen was about to interrupt quickly kept going. “But she’s NOT like what they told you mom. She protected us. She found Will even though she didn’t have to help us and the bad men would have killed us but she got to them first. But then she was hurt by the monster.”
“Monster?” Karen looked horrified.
“That’s another story! I’ll tell you later,” Mike said dismissively. His face turned to one of pain as he continued, “But anyway, El disappeared and it was awful because I didn’t know where she was. She turned into dust while defeating the demogorgan and I was scared she was… d-dead.” His voice trembled as he said the last word.
Karen remembered Mike’s heartbroken look from a week earlier and suddenly it all started to make sense.
“I called her on my radio for a few days. But I only found her two days ago in the woods. She came back that night. But the bad men were here. And she left so I wouldn’t get hurt. She left to protect me. She was scared and alone and cold but she didn’t want the bad men to hurt me,” Mike emphasized, trying to make his Mom realize how good El was.
“It snowed two days ago and it melted but it was still cold. Luckily, I found El after school when I went looking for her in the woods and brought her home. She still got sick though and that’s why I’ve been so scared. She said she’s never been sick before and this time it’s really bad.”
Mike looked at Karen beseechingly, as if begging her to understand that El wasn’t evil. Karen felt like she needed to sit down and process this information but she only continued cutting the carrots as she thought about the things she had just learned in the past five minutes. This poor little girl, who had been so cruelly treated all her life, who – according to Mike – hadn’t even known a friend during her 12 years, had refused to come back to her safe place in order to protect Mike. She had protected him and his friends from some sort of monster as well and, for her own sanity, Karen decided not to dwell on that part just yet.
“She’s a good person Mom. Please please help me protect her and and… Don’t tell dad!” Mike threw a glance towards the living room. “He’d call the lab right away and they’d torture her all over again.”
Karen sighed as she stopped chopping the spring onion she was on.
“Ok Mike. I won’t tell your father just yet but… let me think about all this, alright?” Before Mike could protest, she continued, “It’s all overwhelming. You just told me so much in 5 minutes and I don’t know what to make of it yet but let me think. Trust Me, ok Michael? Trust. Me.”
Mike sighed but nodded.
A while later, the soup was ready and the two made their way downstairs. El was still sleeping but her forehead was wrinkled with a frown and her breathing was shallow. Karen felt a wave of sadness wash over her. Now knowing the girl’s backstory, she looked so small and harmless. She was about to wake her when she recalled the girl’s skittish behavior earlier.
“Mike, would you…” Karen asked. Mike immediately complied.
“El,” he said gently. “El, the soup’s ready. You need to drink it while its hot so it makes you feel better.”
El came to instantly, whispering out Mike’s name. She saw Karen sitting next to her and looked scared again but Mike squeezed her hand comfortingly. Karen gave a weak smile.
“How are you feeling?” Karen asked.
El looked at Karen warily for a few seconds, almost as if debating whether she was genuinely asking or would hurt her for a wrong response. When Mike comfortingly squeezed her hand again, she whispered out, “Bad. Still hurts.”
Karen looked sympathetic.
“Well, how about you have some soup first. By then your old medicine would have worn off and I’ll give you something stronger.” Karen turned to Mike. “I know you know which medicines are which but it was still dangerous to give them without asking first. Next time, ask me.”
Mike nodded. El looked worried then she teared up.
“Mad at Mike?” She asked. Karen looked shocked at the girl’s tears, silent as she continued. “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. Mike is good.”
Karen softened. She gently reached out and took El’s other hand, the one that wasn’t grasped in Mike’s.
“No sweetie, I’m not mad. It was just dangerous if he gave you wrong medicine is all. It could have made you sicker. But he did a good job taking care of you and I’m proud of him for that.”
“Proud…” El said, confused. She had heard the word before but Papa had only ever used it when El had overexerted herself with her powers. Mike, knowing what she was thinking, instantly jumped in.
“It means she’s happy I took care of you, El. I did a stupid thing cuz I wasn’t sure which medicines would work best. But luckily, Mom is here now. She’ll give you better ones.”
El nodded. She turned back to Karen and said, almost defensively, “Good. Don’t be mad. Mike is good.” Then as an afterthought, she added, “Thank You,” grateful both for Karen’s care and also for giving her Mike who saved her.
Karen was confused for a moment but then felt her eyes tear up as the meaning registered. She forced them back. It suddenly struck her how kind her baby boy was. He had taken in a literal stranger and protected her fiercely. Mike was always an empath but to hear someone else – someone so vulnerable – tell her that Mike was a good person and defend him for it made Karen feel like an accomplished parent. The thank you at the end is what warmed Karen’s heart the most. She had done good. She wasn’t a bad parent despite her many insecurities. Mike smiled at her and that only made Karen happier.
Karen lifted the bowl of soup and gave it to El, then – seeing how badly the girl’s hands were shaking – fed it to her herself. El was confused by this. No one had ever bothered being this gentle towards her since she was very young. The soup was good. And El wondered if she could stomach Eggos afterwards and whether she should ask Mike’s mom for them or not – especially since she was being so nice and El didn’t know how long that would last – but a sudden turn in her stomach made her decide otherwise. Eggos could wait. The soup was filling enough.
Karen gave El medicine after she was done with the soup though. It wasn’t the same medicine Mike gave, it was a stronger dose than that. But it worked quickly and soon El felt stable enough to go the bathroom and clean herself up a little.
When she came back, she was shivering; the fever in her system still not gone yet. The atmosphere of the basement felt chilly on her skin despite the fact she was wearing Mike’s warmest pajamas and sweater. El’s head was woozy and she sat down while Mike rushed to bundle her up in blankets again. Seeing her shivering form, Karen reached out.
“Do you want a hug?” the older woman asked gently. “Mike always says they make him warmer when he’s cold.”
Mike looked embarrassed but didn’t say anything. El only looked confused. She looked between Mike and Karen then asked, “What is hug?”
Karen felt the question like a slap to the face. She knew this child had grown up in bad conditions but to not even know what a hug was? Karen turned to Mike, mouth agape. Mike looked at his mother sadly. His confirmation was all it took for Karen’s eyes to flood.
Karen knew, in that moment, that she would never let anyone harm this girl again. It solidified it for her, everything Mike had told her but she was still doubting. This girl was no Russian spy, no weapon of immense destruction unleashed on their people. She was a child; scared, innocent and desperately lacking love. The idea of her own children growing up so fearful, so loveless, that they didn’t even know what a hug was tore at her heart. So, Karen promised herself; she would give El the love she needed, the love she deserved until El no longer lived in the shadow of the fear she had grown up with.
Mike turned, seemingly to answer El’s question, but Karen took over before he could.
“A hug…” she started, voice heavy with tears – she took a moment to think, Mike was looking at her nervously but also encouragement shone in his eyes, allowing his mother to answer. Karen reached out to grasp El’s hand again.
“A hug is to hold someone closer to your heart,” Karen told the young girl.
El looked confused.
“Closer to your heart?” She repeated, pointing at her own chest with the beating organ. Karen wiped away a tear that had slipped through and nodded.
“Very close,” she said, forcing a smile. “Should I show you?”
El nodded, curious. So, Karen scooted closer to the opening of the fort, slowly – so as not to alarm the girl. Once she was sitting side by side with her, Karen leaned over and wrapped her arms around the younger girl. El froze for a moment before relaxing, her head resting above Karen’s heart. Karen gently rubbed the younger girl’s back.
El realized, in that moment, she had been hugged before. Mike had hugged her before, and Dustin. At the quarry. Joyce had too, at the gym. Papa had never hugged her. Not really. Maybe that’s why. Papa had never loved her. Had never wanted her close. He was bad. And only good people had good hearts.
Mike’s hug had felt like safety, acceptance, home. Karen’s hug, El realized, did too. It was a loving embrace, a mother’s embrace. El somehow knew, if she had her mama, her mama’s hug would feel like Karen’s.
And for an unexplainable reason, El felt her own heart swell and tears come to her eyes as she hugged Karen back. So many years and finally someone was holding her so tightly, so carefully. Someone cared about her so tenderly and was affectionate in a way only parents were.
She knew now – although trust would come later too – that Karen would take care of her and offer her a home. And soon enough, she would end up protecting El when the bad men came knocking; smoothly lying to Ted about El as well (not that it required much effort, indifferent as he was). She would smile when El would follow her around the house, the younger girl nervous to be alone too long even in the basement, feeling safe in the older women’s presence when Mike would be busy at school. She would get her a bed like Mike promised and give her Eggos and teach her how to read and write. Karen would shoo Mike out of the basement when he spent too long with her on school nights, then would kiss a giggling El on the head and tuck her in like she did Mike and Holly. She would teach El how to make cookies and color with her before dinner, all things El had missed out on in her childhood. But most importantly, Karen would hug her, every time El asked, no matter if it was day or night, if she was angry or happy. She would hug El, knowing the girl needed the reassurance that someone loved her and would always be ready to reinforce that belief.
“A hug means…close to the heart,” El repeated with a sniffle, her own voice heavy. Suddenly, the ache in her joints and the pain in her head was muffled, drowned out by the warm embrace Karen was holding her in. Her throat was still scratchy and her stomach hadn’t completely settled, but she felt peaceful in a way she hadn’t in a long time… probably in a way she never had felt before.
She fell asleep like that, for the first time, in a mother’s embrace, finally feeling safe and loved and home.