Chapter Text
There was a moment when he realized he was going to die. Miles from Koi Tower and any help, defending a forgotten shrine statue from a shadow beast, Jingyi was going to die and no one would know, and as he felt the sharp claws cut into him, he could only wonder how this was it. All he’d faced standing with his friends, it would be the moment he was alone that he would die. Of course it would be.
Fate had been kind often enough; it was only right that it finally ran out now.
In bittersweet consolation, as he lay a torn mess at the foot of the shrine, half taken over by the woods as it was, the statue he was dying for was at least still standing. The shadow, sensing his life force ebbing, slipped away as though it’d never been, and a part of him tried to call the strength to signal for help, or warning, for surely the creature was not done. It would hurt others and had to be stopped. Surely it was his duty to die trying to stop it at all costs.
But he couldn’t make his arm move. He’d long lost feeling in his left side, could feel the numbness spreading to the rest of him. There was no strength in him to do more than curl his fingers, and that was that, apparently. At least he was going to die with his sword in his hand.
The fear settled in then and Jingyi did his best to breathe it away. He did not want to die afraid, so he thought of other things, of Sizhui’s gentle smiles and Zizhen’s laughter. How they looked at one another with stars in their eyes and all the rounds of teasing he’d had at their fond expense. He thought of Gusu, of the snow and persimmon trees. Of Old Master Lan’s hidden smiles and Lan Xichen’s kindness. Of Lan Wangji’s gentle guidance and Wei Wuxian’s excited chatter; how theirs was a love that spanned the ages and would continue, he was sure, into many lives after.
And as the fading sunlight fell over him and his breath started to stutter, he thought of Jin Ling. Jin Ling, who was loud and prickly and so fun to tease, who was like the sun on his face for a thousand years. If he was found, no doubt his friend would be told first, being the leader of this very land. Jingyi spared a moment to regret that his final act would cause so much pain, before the acceptance settled in around the memory of Jin Ling’s stubborn smile.
Why is it the way of humans to learn what is important when they are about to pass on? The voice was old, ancient, and it rang of a millennia, of trees and rocks and soil. Jingyi blinked his eyes open but only saw the sunkissed blood pooled under himself and wondered if this was a part of dying, hearing the world speak in your farewell. He welcomed it, whatever it was, and closed his eyes as he imagined he could feel a warm, steady hand on his brow.
You saved my shrine in true selfless desire, it went on, and Jingyi was sure this was the strangest eulogy to have, but it meant he was not alone, and the tears slipped free from his eyes in gratitude. So now, I will save you.
It was a light feeling, like being held, even though his body was too heavy for that, and a warm wash of magic encased him, a comfort against the cold. The words did not make sense, but still settled in his chest, in his mind, chasing away pain and consciousness until the voice was all he knew or cared to remember. Death, it seemed, was warm like spring and smelled of green and moss, as gnarled as tree bark and echoing like a heartsong. There were far worse fates than that, and Jingyi fell into the slumber without a fight.
There was gentle laughter, like a thousand mothers’ soothing hands, like a thousand fathers’ welcoming smiles. He was cradled close and felt the shift, even if his mind could not focus enough to be aware. All he knew was that he was safe, held here in ancient magic, and wondered if this meant his body would ever be found, or if the forest would simply take him back as though he was always its own and there would be no final trace.
Peace, Lan Jingyi, the voice soothed and he gave in, curled up and so very comfortable. He never wished to wake up again from such a comfort. I will leave your trace. You will not be mourned. Mine is the way of animals, so i can only save you as i would my wolves, or deer, or birds. But do not fear. You need only remember what is most important, who it is that guides your heart, and you will find your truest form once more. This is all i can do, so it will be done. Wake and know who it is you must find. Wake and know your happiness. You will hurt, but you will live.
Thank you, he thought with all he was, all he could try to be again, and as the world dissolved into darkness, he had no way to know if this was life anew, or death again. He was too far gone to care and fell into the nothing in-between.
The sheer breadth of the world when he opened his eyes was staggering. It was all so much more colorful, so much more vibrant that for a moment he wondered if this was heaven. With the sun on his face and the sweet scent of the earth all around him, he was more than willing to believe it.
But then the pain registered, lancing up his left arm and throbbing, and he knew he had not imagined the voice. The warning in his mind, he looked down at himself and only saw white fur. The way of the animals rang in his mind and he groaned, which came out as a soft… whine?
He stretched his right arm and only saw a paw. Canine, it seemed, and when he managed to find his feet, awkward on three limbs, he found he still had a good amount of height. A big dog, then, or maybe even a wolf, and he turned to look at the shrine in dumbfounded shock.
Only the shrine was no longer there, nor was the tree that had held his body. The thickness of the woods, tall and ancient, had condensed to a newer growth. It was a younger forest, more manicured, and he had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly where he was.
The murmur of talking only heightened that feeling and he quickly limped to a bush just off the path, hoping he hadn’t been seen. After all, he needed to think, and if he was a wolf the chances of being attacked were rather good. People feared wolves and larger dogs, especially when they were running amok in the woods, and Jingyi could barely walk, let alone defend himself. He didn’t need to test fate more than he already had.
Who it is that guides your heart… what was that supposed to even mean? And why had he been moved? He wanted to think that the spirit had brought him here to help him, if only because it made no sense to save him only to put him back into danger. The spirit wanted Jingyi to be here, which meant the answer to turning human again lay before him. In LanLing, if he was right that this was one of the well kept forests by Koi Tower. And if he was meant to be in Jin Ling’s home, did that mean…?
He slunk down lower at the sight of golden robes and whined again. Oh, but he was in trouble. Because there was no mistake that that was Jin Ling, walking confidently at the head of his men and snarking with his Uncles Jiang, Wei, and Lan. The sight of Lan Wangji had him pressing all the way to the ground and he prayed that he was somehow utterly invisible even in white fur, especially since Wei Wuxian was in company. One look at Jingyi in this form and he’d go shrieking up the nearest tree. Funny, perhaps, until Lan Wangji turned his sword on him. He closed his eyes hard against the thought.
Jin Ling rolled his eyes as he listened to Wei Wuxian trying to tease Jiang Cheng because he’d caught him coming out from Lan Xichen’s hanshi before they’d flown to LanLing. To his jiujiu ’s credit the man hadn’t threatened to break his brother’s legs or whip him with zidian. He smiled fondly while walking ahead of them. It was nice to be out with the three of them though he wouldn’t dare say it out loud. He was just about to scold Wei Wuxian for being shameless before his jiujiu could but then he heard a soft whine.
He stopped and looked to where the sound had some from.
“Jin Ling?” Jiang Cheng called and stilled when Jin Ling raised his hand for them to be quiet. Not that it was hard for Lan Wangji. The man kept quiet for the most part especially when Jiang Cheng was around. Wei Wuxian however acted like he never knew what the universal hand gesture meant.
“Be quiet, Wei Wuxian.” Jin Ling said firmly, trying to see if he could hear the whine once more. It made Jiang Cheng smile because it sounded so much like how he used to when he was Jin Ling’s age and talk like that to the man. He also had to bite his lip as Wei Wuxian turned to give him a glare that didn’t work on Mo Xuanyu’s face.
“A nephew should be respectful of his uncle!” Wei Wuxian said to that, very much not being quiet.
“Either be quiet or I’ll use the silencing technique.” Jin Ling said with an eye twitch when Wei Wuxian still didn’t be quiet. Jingyi had taught it to him after he witnessed one of the new recruits disrespected Jin Ling.
Wei Wuxian pouted, before he too heard a faint whine. Only one sort of animal made that noise, and in a second he was climbing his husband with a shriek. “Dog! Dog, dog, dog, dog!!!”
Lan Wangji just held his arms out to hold him, used to this behavior. “Wei Ying, where?”
“I don’t know. Don’t you hear it, Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian wailed, and even though the whining had abruptly cut out, he still cried. “Dogggg….. Why does it have to be a dog?!”
“Do you have to be a child?” Jin Ling sighed before pointing in the opposite direction, “Hanguang-jun, if you like you can take him that way and jiujiu will come with me to check on it.”
This time Jiang Cheng didn’t hold back his snort of amusement and shrugged his shoulder when Wei Wuxian glared at him again.
Jin Ling rolled his eyes then started walking towards where he heard the dog’s whine come from. The grass was high and the log the dog was near was partially hiding it. It was beautiful with it’s white fur and grey dusting. It’s storm colored eyes had him thinking of Jingyi. He’d write the man and tell him that. Jin Ling knew that Jingyi would find that amusing. However, the beautiful fur was marred by the blood.
“It’s not a dog, jiujiu , it’s a wolf and it’s wounded.” Jin Ling explained before he moved at a slower pace than a dog. Something that Jiang Cheng had taught him.
“Put Suihua up then. We don’t want to scare it even more.” Jiang Cheng chided when Jin Ling still had his sword in his hand. Jin Ling nodded and sheathed his father’s sword easily before stepping forward slowly. His clarity bell chiming as he moved.
Jingyi waited for Lan Wangji to move off with his sobbing husband before gently crawling out from under the bush and log, tail wagging a little to show Jin Ling he wasn’t a threat. So, wolf then. This could get tricky if he was taken for a wild animal. He missed his ribbon, wishing the ancient spirit had thought to tie it around his neck as a collar and to tell Jin Ling who he really was, but had to settle for his tiny ball of spiritual energy which fought him when he tried to tap it. All he could do was make it pulse, so Jin Ling would at least know he had something like a core, the way spirit animals did.
The clarity bell chiming helped set him at ease, his ears going back as he made himself as low as he could on three legs. His left front paw and shoulder were a mess and still throbbing, and a too fast step had him whining again, though he flattened in fear when Wei Wuxian shrieked, hearing him, and Lan Wangji’s steely gaze fixed on him.
“When I said go that direction I meant to actually go.” Jin Ling grumbled, annoyed at hearing the unnecessary shrieking. His eyes widened a little when he felt that the wolf had a core. Someone had trained this wolf then abandoned it?
“It has a core.” Jin Ling commented to Jiang Cheng. He didn’t need to look to see Jiang Cheng nod. The two of them sharing the same thought on the course of action.
“Then that means that there is probably a hunter out there.” Jiang Cheng commented, “I’ll have Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-jun go in search for them.”
“Alright, now let’s get him back to Koi Tower so we can get him healed.” Jin Ling said softly as he moved to kneel off to the side of the wolf. He called forth some qi and sent to the wolf to help the blood from flowing.
Jingyi breathed in relief feeling the soothing qi and pushed his face into Jin Ling’s chest in gratitude. His scent was familiar and far sharper through a canine nose and he wanted to blush at how good he smelt. The ancient spirit’s words came back and the implication that Jin Ling was his ticket to being human again had his heart beating too fast. He was confused to feel it.
“We will search,” Lan Wangji’s calm voice cut over him, making him still in Jin Ling’s arms. Those eyes were far too knowing and he wanted to retreat back to his little hidey hole. Thankfully, Lan Wangji simply nodded and carried Wei Wuxian off to do just that, disappearing around the trees. Jingyi wasn’t sure what he saw looking at Jingyi’s beaten up form, but he didn’t want to know. The idea that a man he respected so greatly sensing it was Jingyi in this pitiful state had him blushing in embarrassment. Worse was the knowledge that he had to convince Jin Ling somehow of that very same truth. Gods, he’d never live this down.
“It’s okay, pretty eyes.” Jin Ling commented, reaching to carefully transfer some more qi . When Jingyi moved a little better towards him, he grinned. “I think I should carry him back. If he tries to walk it might mess up his paw even more.”
Jiang Cheng eyed the wolf. Normally, he would think it would be alright but the wolf wasn’t a wild one. It’d obviously had some training because it stayed quiet the whole time, just observing them. “Ride, Suihua there.” He instructed.
Jin Ling nodded before Jiang Cheng moved away to go join the others in looking for the wolf’s owner. Then Jin Ling turned his attention to the wolf.
“Come on pretty eyes, let’s get you healed up.” He said leaving his hand extended out for the wolf to scent and show that he would wait for the wolf to come closer instead of forcing him.
Jingyi didn’t bother with scenting, since he wasn’t really a wolf, and pressed his face into Jin Ling’s chest again, huffing. Being carried was going to hurt, no matter how careful Jin Ling was, and he was glad he could understand them and brace himself. He wagged his tail once more to show he didn’t see Jin Ling as a threat either and limped in as close as he could get so Jin Ling could pick him up. Drop me and I’ll bite you, he thought, unable to help it, and nosed his cheek in thanks.
“Well aren’t you a friendly one.” Jin Ling chuckled as he gave him a reward of ear scratches for the respectful cheek boop. “This might hurt a bit but I’ll keep a hold of you when we are on my sword.” He informed the wolf before he as carefully as he could lifted it up. He channeled just a dash more qi after it let out a small whine at being jostled but his grip was secure and he knew that he wouldn’t drop it.
“Now, let’s get you healed.” Jin Ling commented before he called Suihua out of her sheath and stepped onto the blade. He hovered for a moment to allow the wolf to get used to it then took off. During flight, Jin Ling had a face full of fur but he knew the way home like the back of his hand. He caught a whiff of what the wolf smelled like and frowned. It smelled of a mixture of earth, sandalwood, and citrus. A scent that he knew all too well. It was like the wolf had spent the day in Jingyi’s jingshi or at least been bathed in the same oils. He wrinkled his nose a bit. It had to be a coincidence that the wolf smelled like Jingyi. The man was supposed to be in Qinghe on a hunt.
He pushed those thoughts away as he refocused on the route home and moved his chin a bit so that he could see. “We are going to land in my courtyard. It will make it easier.” Jin Ling stated out loud. He’d been taught by Jiang Cheng to always talk to your spirit animals plainly and with intent. That way that the animal would follow their instincts in sync with his own. He’d explained that JIngyi and the man had laughed heartily. He smiled fondly as the memory played in his mind.
Jin Ling shook his head to get rid of the thought as they neared his courtyard. He landed gracefully and was happy to not jostle the wolf. He took him to the healing room in his quarters then gently laid him upon the table. “I’m going to heal you some more then clean you up.” Jin Ling explained before he did what he said. He reached out, cradling the wolf’s paw in his hands then focused his qi on healing it. The paw responded perfectly to his qi . He grinned knowing that it had worked. The wolf would be sore but the wound was gone. “Now, let’s get your clean.” He said before going towards the tub to fill it with water. “You’re too pretty to be covered in such grime.”
Jingyi wanted to laugh at all the pretty talk. Maybe he’d never live this down, but he wouldn’t let Jin Ling live this down, even if seeing this side of his friend had his stomach fluttering. He nosed at him again in mirth and managed a soft woof. It sounded a little like a laugh and he grinned a canine grin. At least he could emote through this body. Perhaps he really did have a chance to convince Jin Ling of who he was.
Pretty, hm? I remember you talking to Fairy like this, he said, which came out in a series of chatty dog noises. He bark laughed again and licked his lips, so glad that his pain had faded. It was much more manageable now, like a deep-set bruise, and managed to hop down to follow him to the tub. He still had a limp, but he could get some weight on it, already an improvement.
He bumped into Jin Ling’s hip and woofed, then peered into the tub. He had never been as big on bath time as Jin Ling, but still painful and after his trying… night? Day? How long had it been? Was it just yesterday he’d been dying? Or had it taken longer for the spirit to save him? Was he missed?
He’d started in Qinghe, but then he’d been called to LanLing. He wondered if Jin Ling was even aware that he’d been on his land, or if he still thought Jingyi was in Qinghe, chasing vengeful spirits. The shadow beast was a definite problem too. As Sect Leader, had Jin Ling heard of it, or had it still remained undiscovered? Jingyi had been called in before he could tell Jin Ling, and it’d been the locals asking for his aid in protecting the ancient spirit statue in the woods. He’d been… well, killed, in his attempts. Would they reach out to Jin Ling next?
Jingyi was comforted by the fact that Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, and Lan Wangji were all here. Surely, they’d stay to help? He whined a little and looked up at Jin Ling, worried that what happened to him would happen to his friend. He shivered just thinking of it and plastered into his side.
Jin Ling had just finished putting the proper oils in the bath for the wolf to soothe it and was about to put the vials up when he was almost knocked over. He blinked immediately thinking how the wolf had somehow gotten the strength that Lan’s were known for. He doubted that he’d probably bruise but it was near close. “Oh it’s okay, pretty.” Jin Ling huffed in amusement, reaching down to gently scratch the wolf’s head. “I’m not leaving you.”
Those comforting words added with the scratches appeared to help calm down the wolf. He smiled softly as the wolf allowed him to help it into the water. Jin Ling laughed as the wolf slipped into the water. “What were you hunting that injured you like this?” He asked out loud when he went to scrub the dirt, blood, and twigs out of the wolf's fur.
What indeed. A giant shadow monster, he said with more of those talking noises that seemed to amuse Jin Ling greatly as he answered. If you have to fight it, you’d better bring serious back up.
He shook out his fur then, feeling a deep urge to do so, and happily took in Jin Ling’s laughter. You look like a child, he teased and leaned into his petting with squinted eyes. I’m never letting you live this down, I hope you know.
Jin Ling laughed at how talkative this wolf was. Fairy wasn’t even this talkative. It just amused him to no end. The reward he gave the wolf was ear scratches that seemed to make the wolf even more happy. The water sloshing out. “Now, let’s get you out of here pretty.” Jin Ling said getting up and grabbing the large pitcher of water to rinse out the wolf’s fur.
“There you are.” Jin Ling commented as he slowly poured the water on the wolf. It’s beautiful white and grey splotched fur was it’s truest color. He knew it was going to happen because he was used to Fairy doing it. And by now the robes he’d chosen for the day were mostly soaked but it still made him flinch when the wolf stood up proud and shook the excess water out of its fur.
“And now I need new robes.” Jin Ling huffed with a smile. He moved, flicking his hands to get the suddy water that landed on him. “But let’s get you out of there and me in new clothes.” He said moving back to the tub to assist getting him out.
Jingyi hopped free and shook himself off again, standing even closer to Jin Ling that time and laughed. It translated into playful noises and a wagging tail, before he bumped Jin Ling towards his back rooms, where he knew Jin Ling kept his clothes, leaving a trail of wet paw prints in their wake. He had been in these rooms many times over the years, making fun of Jin Ling for taking so long getting ready. The last time he’d walked in on the man bathing and had watched him get extra flustered. He smiled in the warmth of the memory.
“And who are you?” a familiar voice asked. The man standing in the room with a bundle of robes in his hands was none other than Jin Ling’s second, Wu Xiang. The man was tall but lean with big chocolate brown eyes and matching hair that probably went almost to his knees if it wasn’t up in a braid. He was dressed in the creme and soft golden robes that looked familiar.
Jingyi paused, looking at him curiously. He recognized the man, but knew the robes as Jin Ling’s. A weird, slippery feeling coiled in him at the sight. Since when did Wu Xiang wear Jin Ling’s robes? Could it be…
He shook his head, ears flopping with the action, and boofed at the man, standing tall and proud. He supposed if Jin Ling wanted to take his second as a lover that was his business. He just wished the idea didn’t make his chest feel so hollow. Why hadn’t Jin Ling said anything, he wondered, then looked up at the man in question when he stepped in beside him.
“Oh this is.. Uh.. I’ve just been calling him, pretty.” Jin Ling answered sheepishly, rubbing his head before noticing the bundle in his hands. “Is that the new robes I had made?” Jin Ling asked, smile brightening as he neared Wu Xiang.
“Of course you did.” Wu Xian chuckled with a fond smile on his face, “And yes, these just arrived from Yunmeng. I was about to hang them for you.”
“Good, I’ll get out of these then.” Jin Ling said, reaching for his belt straps. He looked back at the wolf and blinked. It was just standing there watching them. Jin Ling tilted his head at him. “You can lay in front of fire if you want too.” He said walking back over. Jin Ling kneeled down to rub the wolf’s scruff and scratch behind its ears.
“I think that this will be better for your hunts.” Wu Xiang said, “Master Lan was right. These colors do suit you.” He stepped back revealing the earth tone beige muslin outer robe with fine soft gold beading on the collar and hem. The inner robe was dark green and pleated. The belt was made from good leather and ringlets.
“Of course he was.” Jin Ling said confidently, knowing his friend and the way he’d been serious when he saw them. He patted the wolf’s head then went back to undressing.
You actually listened, Jingyi preened, forgetting the weird black feeling a moment. He watched Jin Ling’s robes fall and checked him over for any injury, as he always did, before moving to sit before the fire to dry out and be warm. Jin Ling was a fussy dresser, always taking his time, and not being able to talk would not stop him from teasing his friend. Told you so, he said in his chatty wolf voice, obviously pleased with himself.
Wu Xiang stood off to the side watching Jin Ling as well. He waited until Jin Ling had neared the rack to move to collect the soaked robes off the floor. He glanced over at the wolf after feeling the wolf’s eyes on him. He pursed his lip and kept his movement careful. A small flush dusting his cheeks like he’d been caught doing something wrong.
“Are those robes okay? I told you that we should just toss them.” Jin Ling commented as he tied the strings of his trousers before turning to look over his shoulder Wu Xiang.
“Why? Just because you’ve outgrown them doesn’t mean that they are now worthless.”
“You’ve taken them in.” Jin Ling commented, taking in how the robes were more tapered at the chest and waist.
“I had to. Not all of us are built like you.” Wu Xiang huffed. “And before you question Jin Chan about my eating habits. I’ve been eating enough.” He turned back to point at Jin Ling as the man was putting on his outer robe now, “And I swear that you have him checking with the kitchen staff, I’ll make sure all your eating is Gusu delicacies.”
“He’s going to do that anyway if you don’t gain any weight.” Jin Ling said, shaking his head with a smile on his face at the threat.
Wu Xiang walked over to dump the clothes in a basket. “Ugh, and you shouldn’t just keep calling him pretty.”
“You’re right…” Jin Ling agreed as he glanced over at the wolf; which if it was possible was looking rather amused. He took in those lovely eyes that reminded him of Jingyi’s storm colored ones. “Storm.”
“Storm?” Wu Xiang laughed then glanced at the wolf. He could see it now too with the eyes. “Better than Fairy.” he muttered lowly to himself.
“What?” Jin Ling asked, hearing something but not quite sure it was right. He was already putting on his leather belt.
“I said that’s a good name for him.” Wu Xiang smiled, all teeth.
“Sure, that’s what you said.” Jin Ling responded, not believing a word the man said, “Storm is going to be staying with us for a bit till we find his owner.”
“Alright then I will send the proper food here for him.” Wu Xiang stated, dismissing himself. Jin Ling waved him off with a smile.
“Are you amused by us, Storm?” Jin Ling asked, moving to join the wolf on the floor. He reached over gently petting the wolf.
It’s better than Fairy, Jingyi agreed with Wu Xiang and nudged Jin Ling’s chin with his nose, chatting with him before it cut off on a yawn. He shook out his head again and sniffed the new clothes. They didn’t smell right, but that’d come in time, he figured, and preened all over again that he was wearing clothes Jingyi himself had told Jin Ling to try. You look good. It seems you can be taught to listen, Mistress Jin.
Jin Ling leaned into the affection that the wolf was showing. He laughed seeing the wolf yawn. Jin ling moved so that he was laying down beside him. He chuckled when the wolf moved to lay his head on his stomach. “Okay, I’ll nap with you.” Jin Ling commented as he started petting the wolf after he put an arm under his head. His mind was floating between Jingyi because of the robe, wondering if his uncles found anything, and then about Wu Xiang. “You know earlier, I sounded like I was joking about Wu Xiang getting smaller. I haven’t told Jin Chan or Jingyi but I think he has what my mama had.”
Oh? Jingyi turned his face to look at him, nuzzling in closer and leaning more of his weight on Jin Ling playfully. Knowing Jin Ling was going to trust him with some sort of secret had his spirits lifting. He knew he wasn’t as easy to talk with as Sizhui was, but he did like to think he was still a good listener and while he formed loud opinions, he cared about his friends and, by extension, those people his friends cared for.
He nudged at Jin Ling’s hand and got under it, demanding more pets with a soft boof . There was something heavenly about being scratched behind the ears.
Jin Ling huffed and obliged the nudge to pet and scratch behind the ears. “He gets so sick and can’t eat or move. Breaks Jin Chan’s heart when it happens. I mentioned it to jiujiu and he said that it sounded like mama’s condition. Jiujiu said that all the healer’s that’d treated mama had passed during Sunshot. He said though that she’d been treated in Gusu and to ask if the records of what Lady Wen had recorded survived the burning of the Cloud of Recesses.” He continued scratching the wolf’s head “I looked here but I think that when he was here that he got rid of it because the physicians that were around when my parents were here are gone.” He bit his lip, “I’ll send for Jingyi since he’s so close. Maybe he can take a look at him? I’d ask Hanguang-jun but I think that Jin Chan would freak out. He still doesn’t care for him.”
Jingyi considered that, wondered if it would be good for Jin Ling to try to call for him. Perhaps if he knew he was missing Jingyi would have a better chance at getting him to see he was the wolf? Then again, Jin Ling would probably panic and Jingyi would not be able to shake him of it. He huffed fondly, because of course his salvation had to be in such a stubborn man. At least he didn’t have to convince Wei Wuxian.
His mind drifted to Jin Ling’s words about Wu Xiang. So, Wu Xiang and Jin Chan were together, something he hadn’t known and it made something in him ease. He remembered the last Conference he’d gone to and had seen Wu Xiang. It’d been fall and in the Cloud Recesses, and though Jingyi had been busy with the juniors, he remembered the man in good spirits what seemed to be flourishing health. To know he got so sick here made him frown. It could, of course, be a multitude of things. Diet, or temperature change. Perhaps the man did not do well in heat? Or cold? Jingyi wondered what it was that set off his boughts of sickness. Sizhui had been a sickly child, he remembered that, if only barely. He’d been brought to Gusu sick and had had periods of illness in the summer months. A careful diet had steadied him, as well as a meditation regimen. Jingyi wondered if something similar would help Wu Xiang, or if he perhaps needed to “migrate” to a warmer climate, or a colder climate, to stave off the sickness.
He whined a little, the words aching in his chest, and he nudged and prodded Jin Ling for more attention. Those fingers had stilled with the man’s own thoughts and Jingyi pawed at him. I’ll do my best, he promised with his dog chatter, and loved seeing the smile he got for it.
“Here I am rambling about sickness and you’re trying to rest.” Jin Ling huffed, starting to scratch the wolf’s head again. He chuckled thinking about how Jingyi would love this moment. The man would be buzzing with so much happiness at a wolf how Jin Ling was pinned to the floor. “I think Jingyi would like you very much, Storm.” He mused “I could picture him now rolling at how we look right now.”
Jingyi would be rolling, so he did, rolling off Jin Ling and flopping onto his back with a high pitched chatter. Jin Ling looked good upside down and laughing, he decided, and wiggled over the floor back towards him, pawing at his chest. He wished it would be a simple roll around to get Jin Ling to realize who he was, but at least it was fun. You do look ridiculous, he agreed.
“Oh yes, he would like you very much.” Jin Ling mused, rolling around being nudged. “He’d probably say you’re just like him and I couldn’t deny that!” He laughed again. He played with the wolf a bit and felt his hair coming undone, he reached up pulling the pin out and tossing the headpiece onto the chaise that was close. His hair fell down from the simple ponytail that it’d been in. Then he moved to roll somewhat close and careful of Storm’s injured paw.
Jingyi paused in being so close, before pushing his nose under Jin Ling’s and sighing. Jin Ling had always smelt nice, which had sparked rounds of teasing when they’d been younger. Jingyi had always said he smelled like all his gold, when in truth he smelt far homier, warmer, and sweet. Not that he’d ever say so.
Why are you the one that gets to save me? He wondered, chattering to him and bapping him in the face with a paw. Rulan.
“I like you too, Storm.” Jin Ling laughed from Storm’s nose boops that landed on his lips. He reached up the strands that’d fallen in his face while they were playing out of his face. His golden eyes peering the storm colored ones. “I wonder where your Master is? Did he survive what the two of you went through?”
I don’t have a master, Jingyi huffed and shook his head, the way he’d seen Fairy do to answer questions, then rolled onto his stomach, peering down at him.
Jin Ling tilted his head to the side looking up at the wolf. “You don’t have a master?” Jin Ling questioned. The familiar sound of a disagreeing huff was made by the wolf. “Then how were you injured?”
Attacked, he tried to say, then moved to stand and hopped over Jin Ling, nudging him onto his side. He nibbled on the back of Jin Ling’s shoulder with a low growling noise to describe his being attacked from behind, then lifted his head completely over Jin Ling to snap his jaws and swipe a paw. He could still feel where the thing’s claws and teeth had gotten him and whined right after, his leg sore in memory. He sat down, distressed, and said the man’s name again, trying hard to get the wolf voice to cooperate. Rulan.
At first he was a little weary but then he realized that the wolf was trying to communicate. “You were attacked by another animal?” Jin Ling said after letting Storm handle him. He frowned thinking about what would try to attack a spiritual wolf? He couldn’t think of much around here.
“Maybe my uncles will find something.” Jin Ling said off handedly.
Jingyi sighed, because no, they wouldn’t, and flopped back over Jin Ling with his full weight. He jostled his bad leg, but it was worth it for the laughter. At least you’re a cute idiot, he muttered, though wagged his tail at the man. You need only to remember what is most important, the ancient spirit had told him and then had led him right to Jin Ling. That, at least, he couldn’t argue.
He whined then, feeling his stomach growl, and snuggled close. Hungry, he told the man, nudging him in the chest with insistent pokes, before getting up to shake off and wait for him to get the message. Hungry, he enunciated best he could. Hun-gry.
“ I feel like you’re making fun of me and don’t worry I’ll feed you.” Jin Ling huffed scratching the wolf behind the ear, “Storm- I need..”
“And Master Storm’s food has arrived.” Wu Xiang proclaimed happily as two servants carrying two trays. One had raw meat and vegetables while the other was more Jin Ling’s liking. Jin Ling frowned at how the decanter of wine seemed to be too much for Wu Xiang to carry. The man must have noticed his stare and passed it off to the third servant standing outside with the two carrying trays.
“Good, now I don’t have to fetch it.” Jin Ling smiled proudly then sat up. He turned to Storm“How does the courtyard seem for us to eat dinner this evening?”
Jingyi wagged his tail and moved to the servant with the food obviously meant for him. It was thankfully in a bowl and he got his teeth around the rim, lifting it off the tray and trotting out with it towards the courtyard. Maybe if he showed Jin Ling he knew the layout of his home…?
“Well he seems to know the place well?” Wu Xiang commented as Jin Ling stood there for a moment dumbfounded. Then his gaze narrowed.
“I want to know the moment my uncles get back.”
“Of course, A-Ling.” Wu Xiang grinned watching in amusement as Jin Ling strutted off to the table where the servants were putting the dishes for Jin Ling and Storm.
“There’s too much here for one person. Come eat with me.” Jin Ling stated.
“It’s alright, A-Chan is making me dinner tonight when he gets done with his work.” Wu Xiang responded following him.
“At least some wine and some cheese or fruit. Surely, that won’t spoil your meal.” Jin Ling countered not taking no for an answer.
“Fine, since you insist.” Wu Xiang sighed making an exasperated voice before reluctantly sitting across from Jin Ling. Jin Ling poured the man a glass of wine.
“I do.” Jin Ling grinned then checked on Storm. Apparently, Storm liked what was prepared for him. Currently, Storm was lapping up the large bowl of water. “Storm approves of your food choices it appears.”
“Good, I wonder if I should bring more next time?” Wu Xiang questioned with a smile.
Only for yourself, Jingyi thought, taking in the man more closely. He didn’t seem interested in the food before him and wondered what sort of meal Jin Chan had planned. He had a hunch the man wasn’t getting enough medicinal proteins and thought back on Jin Ling’s favorite foods. A lot of them were still vegetable based, for all Jin Ling teased Gusu cuisine for being vegetarian and white meat. LanLing was much the same. It had a rich hunting history, so they used a lot of deer meat, but generally kept to fowl and fish. Which could be the problem.
He thought further on the conference in Gusu, how Wu Xiang had seemed in better health. He’d been forced, like all the guests, to eat Gusu food, which meant plant protein and tofu. It was simpler, more medicinal. Was he, perhaps, having a bad reaction to the spices? Did he need blander food?
He needed red meat, for sure, and looked around the spread for any of it. There was a plate of venison and smelled strongly of spice, which he didn’t think would help at all. If the man had a sensitive stomach, he needed far simpler dishes.
He found a small plate of cold roast, more than likely from the night before, and pushed it toward the man, then sat down to intimidate him into eating some.
“Great, in the short time that Master Storm has known me you’ve gotten convinced I don’t eat.” Wu Xiang mused as he grabbed the chunk of roast. He ate it with a thin smile.
“Well you make it so easy.” Jin Ling mused eating a grilled asparagus. He used the other hand to scratch behind Storm’s ears. “Doesn’t he?” He looked over at Wu Xiang “ You eat a third of that and I’ll shut up.”
“You’re a terrible liar. The moment you’d be able to squeal to A-Chan you’ll be singing like a canary.” Wu Xiang mused while eating another chunk.
Jingyi preened a bit watching him and laid his head down on Jin Ling's lap with a low noise at those scratches. He hoped his hunch was correct, though he wouldn't know for sure until he returned to human form. His eyes flickered up to Jin Ling and he felt his heart skip. He wondered how he was supposed to do it, convince Jin Ling it was him, and… and what? Remember what was most important? Who guided his heart? Was that supposed to be Jin Ling? Could he really be…?
He huffed at himself, shaking it off. He could worry about his heart after he got Jin Ling to understand. One thing at a time.
After dinner, Wu Xiang and the servants left, leaving the two of them alone. Jin Ling stretched and yawned. “I think I’m going to get some sleep, Storm. You can stay out here or come with me. The choice is yours.” He said scratching behind the wolf’s ears before getting up to go to his bedroom.
If you think I’m not stealing your bed, you’re in for a surprise, Jingyi snickered and followed him, wanting a nice bed under him and not grass. He bumped Jin Ling’s hip before trotting past to claim his nice smelling sheets. It was no different than what he’d usually do as a human and he was grateful that at least he didn’t have to try to pass as a normal wolf. He could be himself, so he would be, and that started with a very smug look from the bed.
“Really? The whole bed? How is it I have a bed for two and you take up most of it?” Jin Ling huffed in amusement as he took off his mother’s clarity bell setting it on the decorative trinket wire tree on his vanity. Then he untied his belt. “You know Jingyi does that too. He even starts on one side then half way into the night he latches on for dear life.” Jin Ling laughed. Then took off his outer robe then his inner robe before going behind a divider to room his trousers to change into a soft thin gold inner robe.
Do you usually talk about me this much when I’m not around? Jingyi wondered, flopping pointedly across the bed and stretching out his paws. It hurt on the bruised side, but also so good to stretch, feeling his chest flutter at the idea that Jin Ling brought him up so often. Was it only because, as Jin Ling had said, that “Storm” reminded him of Jingyi himself? When Jin Ling peeked out amusedly at him, he moved onto his back, making his wolf voice say the man’s name as best as he was able. Ru lan.
Jin Ling had just hung the trousers over the divider when he heard the wolf howl. And it sounded...it sounded like a name..
No. Surely he was hearing things. But that didn’t stop Jin Ling from stepping out from the divider. A look of puzzlement on his face. “Storm, howl like that again.” he instructed.
Jingyi perked up and rolled onto his belly, hopeful. Ru lan, he gave him, then a few extra excited whines. It didn’t sound nearly as good as when he’d just done it and he huffed at himself, frustrated. Rulan.
Jin Ling listened at both howls but then there was something in them. It was like halfway it would get muffled. He could have sworn that he was hearing the wolf howl his courtesy name. But how could he? The wolf had never heard anyone say it.
Then he laughed at himself. He rubbed his face then walked towards the bed. “I think I am losing what mind I do have. Wu Xiang was right that I shouldn’t do these back to back hunts.” Jin Ling chuckled tiredly. He tidied his robe and started finger combing his hairs then started braiding it into a simple braid.
Jingyi sighed, chin on his paws, and watched him. His heart did a funny flip seeing Jin Ling like this, knowing that no one saw this side of his friend. Again, he heard the ancient spirit’s words about the one who guided his heart, and knew that Jin Ling definitely had a grip on him, but how deep did it go?
He snorted and turned away. So what if Jin Ling had his heart? Jin Ling could steal all he wanted, he was still not Jingyi’s to have. He was a sect leader, the heir to a vast legacy, and Jingyi had broken curfew plenty of times to listen to Jin Ling complain about the burdens of that role. They were Sworn Brothers, not lovers. He doubted that he could ever get more than that, nor did he want to tempt fate. The ancient spirit was perhaps expecting too much, and that meant… that meant…
Would he be stuck like this? He frowned to think it, then agitatedly got off the bed to move around and pace. He figured it looked strange, but it’s what he needed to do, so he did it, before finally sitting at the fire to watch the flames, lost in his swirling thoughts.
Jin Ling at first was going to disregard the movement because of Fairy but then Jin Ling noticed that the wolf wasn’t leaving the room. “I didn’t mean for you to get off the be...are you pacing?” Jin Ling asked with an incredulous expression on his face. He moved to sit on the bed and watch the wolf. “I can leave the door open if you want to walk about the courtyard and rooms?” Jin Ling offered. It was normal for him to leave the doors open for Fairy. It just felt odd because he felt like he could sense that the wolf was upset about something.
Jingyi barely heard him, picking up his pacing again. He grew more worried as the thought of his ruined clothing came to mind. What if that was found? His sword, his ribbon, the shredded robes… Jin Ling was sect leader and Jingyi had died on his land. That meant if his things were found they’d be brought to Jin Ling, who would absolutely recognize his sword and jade pendants. And that… all the blood...
He whined, long and soft, and sat down in a stupor. How was he supposed to get Jin Ling to listen to him then? What if he thought it was a wolf that had killed him and turned Jingyi out? What if -
“Storm?” Jin Ling called him. He got up from the bed and approached the wolf slowly. “Come here.” He instructed sitting down to allow the wolf to come to him. Jin Ling patted his lap and tilted his head in worry. It was strange that the wolf was getting so agitated. When Storm didn’t come over, he did something he would do with Fairy.
“ Oh little carp, little carp, why do you swim upstream?” Jin Ling sung thinking about Jingyi and how the man sometimes would sing or hum the song when stressed.
Jingyi perked up at that, startled to hear his own song from Jin Ling, and curiously walked over to him. He smashed his face into Jin Ling’s chest and shivered, feeling the man’s low voice like a physical touch. You talk of me and sing my music… Do I really mean so much to you? Why am I on your mind?
He whined these questions before settling down in the man’s lap, too big to fit fully, but it was good enough. Being in Jin Ling’s arms felt so nice and safe, he didn’t want to move. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad being Jin Ling’s spirit dog, which may just be his fate. You won’t kick me out, will you? He wondered on a long, fragile boof .
“Against currents and rocks and waves? Surely, downstream is kinder. Surely, downstream is smoother. Oh little carp, little carp, why do you shine like stars? Scales so bright and white and gleaming? Surely, carps aren’t shiny. Surely, carps aren’t stars,” Jin Ling continued to sing as the wolf crawled into his lap like a lap dog. He went on to pet the wolf with one hand and scratch behind his head lightly with the other. He felt better now that Storm seemed to be settling down.
“There we go, Storm.” Jin Ling said softly, leaning down to rest his head on top of Storm’s. “Is this better?”
It was, if only because being held was so good. It didn’t help his heart, or his worry, but he calmed himself so Jin Ling would not be anxious for him, especially since Jingyi had no voice to help him now.
Thank you, he nudged into Jin Ling’s neck with his nose and breathed out a low sigh. I’m sorry.
“It’s okay.” Jin Ling smiled softly, tilting his head back a little as Storm nuzzled him. He used both hands to rub Storm’s muzzle then moved to scratch behind his ears. “Everything is going to be okay. You can stay here with me. I just hope you don't mind Fairy. He’s with my jiujiu now but he lives here too. You probably already smell him.”
Jingyi nodded a little and pressed into him more, trying to stay calm. No, he told himself firmly, it would not be a bad fate to stay here like this. Maybe this had always been his fate. Maybe this was all the ancient spirit had meant. To stay like this, for the rest of his life, protecting this man? He’d wanted such a thing as a human, hadn’t he? The fact he did was a surprise, the fact he wanted it still only solidified his determination. He would keep trying to get Jin Ling to understand him, but if he did not, he would remain here, always by Jin Ling’s side. That… that was what he truly wanted, wasn’t it.
You were right, spirit, he thought, going heavy in Jin Ling’s arms and closing his eyes. I didn’t see what I wanted until I'd seen the end of my life. Thank you for this second chance.
“Alright, pret-Storm, I like this and we can do this all night except, can we do this on the bed where it’s comfortable for both of us?” JIn Ling offered. When Storm didn’t move he pressed a kiss to Storm’s head. “Come on, let’s move to the bed. I promise you can lay on me just like you want too.” He pleaded with the wolf in between soft pets. He huffed in amusement thinking about how Jingyi was the same way. The man would never admit that he was basically a barnacle at night.
The little kiss made his heart pang but Jingyi finally got up, though he was practically glued to Jin Ling’s hip as they moved to the bed again. He waited for the man to get comfortable before hopping up to join him, once more right against his side and half on top of him, seeking that comfort. One nice thing about being a wolf, he mused, was that he was allowed to be as close to Jin Ling as he wanted, and he took full advantage.
“Move your paw up here.” Jin Ling requested patting where he wanted Storm to move his paw. He smiled sleepily when Storm obeyed. “I got grazed by an arrow a few weeks ago and it’s still sensitive.” Jin Ling explained even if he didn’t need to. He was sure that the wolf could probably smell the healing flesh. He yawned before using the free hand to use his qi to snuff out the candles lighting his room.
Jingyi moved his paw and set his muzzle there instead, sighing. He remembered the story, since Zizhen had been present for it and had subsequently told Sizhui, who’d told Jingyi. He nuzzled the spot and whined, not liking that Jin Ling had been hurt, even if it had been a total accident.
Jin Ling closed his eyes and smiled feeling Storm trying to give him comfort now. “It’s okay, I should have listened to Jingyi when he said that Jin Fai needed more training.” Jin Ling continued to explain. He gently pet Storm’s head. He could feel himself falling asleep to Storm’s even heartbeat and breathing.
You should have, Jingyi agreed, snuggling in closer, and breathed out slower. Of course, it was hardly Jin Fai’s fault, or Jin Ling’s, though it had been part of the reason he’d taken the job in LanLing. He’d wanted to poke fun of Jin Ling for the near miss, give him a good told you so, and enjoy the man’s flustered pouting. It hurt that he didn’t get to have that now, but he was still alive. That had to be good enough. This all had to be good enough.
Sleep, Rulan, he huffed and nosed his cheek.
Jin Ling turned his head in towards Storm. It took him a few moments to just let himself go lax but he did it and felt himself drift off to the thought that he needed to send for Jingyi to help him with Wu Xiang.