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A hand comes into frame to knock on a brow hotel door. From inside the room there’s noise, and a few seconds later, Vanessa Vanjie Mateo opens the door. His chest is bare, a pair of grey sweats low on his hips.
“You here already?!” Vanjie looks shocked and slightly confused.
A chuckle is heard behind the camera, which makes Vanjie laugh, his bright teeth shining, his eyes crinkling in the corners. He raises a hand and points a finger with no nail at the camera.
“That thing-” Vanjie smirks like he’s being very smart. “Mean you don’t want no hug?”
///
“Just sit wherever!” Vanjie had wanted to get a head start on his makeup, had wanted to actually be ready for when Jasper showed up, but as he had very quickly learned on this tour he was even worse at being on schedule if he was the one in charge.
“You want some food?” Vanjie pointed to the table, a selection of leftover sushi rolls out. “That’s one of the best parts of being the boss ass bitch. Deciding where you eating. Not that we don’t listen to the dancers!”
“I’m good, but thank you.”
“Suit yourself, as long as you ready for a drink.”
“So, I was very surprised when I saw the announcement for this show.” Jasper took a seat on the edge of the bed, the camera rolling, and Vanjie smiled.
““We pulling out the whole shebang.”
He had never expected to be somewhat used to having a camera on him, but after filming All Stars that summer, and seeing the final cut of the documentary Jasper had made of their Werq the World tour, he didn’t feel uncomfortable with the fact that everything he said was being captured on film.
Jason had told Vanjie that Jasper had reached out about filming a night on his tour, and Vanjie hadn’t found any reason to say no, the documentarists company actually quite soothing since they had gotten so used to each other during Werq the world.
“We got video from season 11 and 10, and All Stars too. Brock told me he didn’t wanna do no thing for the show-” Vanjie rolled his eyes, Brooke’s dislike for them working together still there, even though they had yelled about it plenty. Jasper had included a minimum of it in the finished documentary, and Vanjie was very grateful for that fact.
“Cause you know, this is my project and I gotta do it on my own, but he didn’t say nothing about what we did on TV.” Vanjie smirked, more than proud of the loop hole he had found.
He had still run it by his boyfriend, Brooke actually looking impressed at Vanjie’s ideas and a little sour that he hadn’t come up with it himself for his own tours when he had seen the final edits.
“I wanna show the audience how much I’ve grown, how much that’s happened, even from 11 to All Stars you see my ass get organised. I’ma be propped by the monitor, and catch them gasping cause I ain’t even gonna look like the same bitch that did 10!”
Jasper laughed, and Vanjie went through his suitcases, finding all of his makeup so he could get ready.
Jasper wasn’t saying anything, the man just sitting and filming, a nice quiet filling the room that Vanjie wasn’t exactly used to, the dancers that he adored just as loud as he was.
“I wasn’t gonna do it at first.” Vanjie actually surprised himself, the words not ones he had expected to say, but the doubt he had felt about the tour before going on it wasn’t something he couldn’t share.
“Oh?” Jasper sat up, and Vanjie smiled, the other clearly sensing a story.
“I ain’t ever done a one woman show before, and I didn’t wanna, cause like- I can’t just write a show my fucking self. I’m a drag queen. I don’t know how to produce!”
Vanjie sat down at his little makeup station, and Jasper moved the camera, setting it up so he could film Vanjie putting his makeup on.
“I’m a dancer, I don’t do comedy, but my manager kept saying that since my ass got on All Stars, I hada do a tour, but there ain’t no companies who do one this fall that I could join. My manager was all ‘You can’t just pay people to do everything for you’, but bitch I wish I could! I was so mad! He kept saying all the high rollers do it like Trixie and Katya and Violet and Bianca, but like- I ain’t one of those hoes!”
It had almost turned into a major fight between Jason and Vanjie, Jason insisting that Vanjie had to capitalise on the fact that he was on All Stars, that he had to take at least one trip to Europe while it was airing, and give the fans the chance to see him since he hadn’t won the All Stars season.
“Some would say you’re one of the most popular RuGirl of all times.”Jasper took a drink from one of the bottles of water on the table, looking at Vanjie with a little smile on his face, like he was genuinely interested in what Vanjie had to say.
“That what Jason said too.” Vanjie smiled, a warm feeling of pride curling in his belly. “I came home, all mad, yipping and yapping, ranting away, but you think I got any sympathy from my man?” Vanjie pointed with his foundation brush, a brow raised.
Jasper snorted. “I’m going to go with no.”
“There weren’t shit!” They both laughed, entertaining with a story about Brooke so much fun when Vanjie knew that Jasper knew him as well. “Brock kept telling me I should get out there, show the fans I’m grown and shit, let them connect one on one.”
Brooke had listened to Vanjie’s fire off, had been perfectly still while he had ranted up a storm, but when Vanjie was finished, when he was empty off all of his arguments for why he didn’t wanna do a solo tour, Brooke hadn’t agreed to Vanjie’s point of view.
Instead, he had told him that he should do it, and that he’d probably regret it if he didn’t. The only thing that made it almost okay was that Brooke had let him cuddle afterwards, and pick what movie they watched that night.
“And now you’ve almost finished your first tour.”
“My last solo tour.” Vanjie smiled. “I love all my fans but traveling on my own-” Vanjie dusted his cheek, “that ain’t shit it for me. You gotta think too much. When will I rehearse, where will the dancers sleep. I need time off from other shit to do everything. I’ve always been a big tour kinda bitch, but after this I know for sure I’ma try to be even more on top of my shit when someone else fixes all of this diddelloddy.”
///
“We ain’t ever spend this long together.”
Jasper was drinking a drink that Vanjie had mixed up, the taste of it one he couldn’t quite place, except for the sharp aftertaste of vodka. Vanjie was blending her eyeshadow, and Jasper had to admit that it was fascinating to be so close to a drag queen doing their thing, Vanjie acting with total conviction that she knew exactly what she was doing.
“That’s how you know I’m a good documentarist.” Jasper smiled, answering Vanjie’s easy mood, the other on her second drink already. “You don’t want the subjects to notice you.”
“You calling me a subject?” Vanjie stopped the movement of her brush, pulling back and looking at Jasper with a brow raised. “What you mean by that?”
“That you’re very fascinating.” Jasper chuckled, Vanjie’s put on offense very entertaining to watch.
“You better be careful,” Vanjie shook her head, but she returned to her makeup, ignoring Jasper for now. “or someone could think you was flirting.”
///
“Vanessa?”
A tall black man in a leather jacket comes into the room.
“Mmh?” Vanjie is sitting at her makeup table, her foundation, brows and lids all done. “What up Jamie?”
“It’s 5 minutes past 5 pm right now.” The man puts his hands in his pockets, watching her. He looks slightly nervous, or at least impatient.
“Why you telling me that for?” Vanjie doesn’t look up, her full concentration on putting her lashes on.
Jamie smiles and leans against the door. “You know what I’m telling you that for.” Jamie looks at the camera, his body language very clearly telling that he has had this conversation a million times.
“When’d Brock tell you he’s gonna be here?”
“After the meet and greet,” Jamie takes his phone out of his pocket.
“Good.”
“Good?” Jamie raises an eyebrow. “You said a million times you missed hi-”
“I do, but I’ma decided I’ma be late.” Vanjie looks over at Jamie, a smile on her face, “and I don’t wanna hear shit about it from nobody, least of all the boo.”
Jamie laughs and rolls his eyes. “You get an extra 15, and that’s it.”
///
Vanjie dumped down on the backseat of the car, her suitcase locked in the back, Jasper sitting on the seat next to her, camera rolling.
“You good?”
“I’m fine.” Jasper smiled, and Vanjie realised that she had never actually asked him stuff like that while they had filmed Werq the World, the man mostly existing at the edge of her vision.
“Good.” Vanjie fished her phone out of her pocket, “I’ma just text we on our way to the venue.”
Vanjie knew that Brooke wouldn’t see her text until he actually landed, but she sent him one anyway. They hadn’t seen each other in two weeks, and while Vanjie had dealt with that - even though the hole in her chest grew bigger and bigger every day - she missed her boyfriend more than she was willing to admit.
“It’s lovely to see you’re still so committed to your relationship."
Vanjie looked up from her phone, surprised at Jasper's words. “You saying I ain’t a loyal ho?”
“All I’m saying is that what you’re doing with your job and everything is very demanding.”
“I ain’t in no relationship with my job. I’m in a relationship with Brock.” Vanjie bit her lip. Jasper had an almost scary ability to make her feel comfortable enough to share things, to make her want to tell him her inner thoughts.
“That’s one of the reasons I ain’t done shit like this before.” Vanjie gestured vaguely, hoping that Jasper would understand that she meant the tour. “When I used to be with someone, I was with them all the time. I didn’t wanna do nothing but be with them. I’d get real sidetracked.”
Vanjie sighed. Whenever she thought back on all of the relationships she had had where she had thrown herself away, when she had done everything she could to fit into the mold of the perfect boyfriend, she always felt so sad. She hadn’t realised it at that time, but she had done so much to make someone else happy without even considering her own wants and wishes besides feeling like she was loved.
“Brock keeps telling me to get my ass out the door.”
Vanjie smiled to herself. Brooke actually getting genuinely upset or even mad when she forgot to consider herself, when she didn’t go after opportunities or take risks because she was scared what that would mean for them and for their relationship.
Vanjie had never had that sort of support from a boyfriend before, and while she had never had a problem believing in herself, she hadn’t realised how much she had sacrificed for her exes. Vanjie chuckled, the laugh actually true this time.
“You know like. I love my job, I really really do.” Vanije looked directly at the camera. “Having that, and love? It’s the best of both worlds.”
///
Vanjie is standing besides the car, a brown leather jacket on. She has her phone in hand, but she looks up, clearly seeing something behind the camera.
“Uh!” Vanjie smiles. “Show the lights!” She points, but the camera stays on her.
“Hey!” Vanjie reaches out, touching the lens and turning the camera. “I said show them.” The camera focuses on a tree that’s decorated with white lights. “Ain’t they pretty?”
“You’re very bossy.” The camera turns back on Vanjie. “You know that right?”
“You ain’t discovered that yet?” Vanjie smiles, one of her eyebrows raised. “What’d you do in Europe?”
“Listen to you and Brooke fight?”
Vanjie drops her jaw, her mouth hanging open. “Biiiiiitch!” Vanjie laughs, the read clearly both shocking her and filling her with joy. “You sure you ain’t an undercover queen?”
///
“You saw they got a full house tonight?” Vanjie looked over at Jasper who was filming her putting her wig on. “Can you believe that shit?”
Vanjie smiled in the mirror, the fact that she had sold out on her own filling her with pride.
“Last time we were here, it was with like, Detox and Nina and Morgan and everybody, but now-” Vanjie secured her wig with the last bobby pin. “I sold this shit out on my own.”
“It’s pretty cool.”
Vanjie nodded. She picked up her jewelry pouch, picking through it for one of her newest pieces.
“You like these?” Vanjie held them up for the camera, the sparkling silver barrettes in her hands spelling ‘Miss Vanjie’, “they a gift from Brooke Lynn.”
///
“Please welcome to the meet and greet-” The camera films over Vanjie’s shoulder and onto a small stage. A low row of people are standing there, all of them waiting. “Vanessa Vanjie Mateo!”
“Hi everybody!” Vanjie grabs the microphone from the club's host. She’s in a honey brown wig that comes down her back, a band t-shirt, booty shorts and black high heels.
“We filming today, so y’all, say hi to Jasper!” Vanjie points at the camera. “He my good Judy, but you do know what that camera means. We gonna be on TV, so tuck those titties, and put on your smiles!”
///
Brooke was feeling the jetlag sneak up on him. He had drowned a double espresso at the airport, the liquid almost burning his mouth but he knew there was no way he was going to bed early when he hadn’t seen his boyfriend for two weeks.
Brooke had followed the tour on social media, and he and Vanjie had facetimed a lot, but it wasn’t the same and while Brooke knew it was selfish, he had gotten used to having Vanjie with him. Filming All Stars hadn’t been fun, but Brooke had had friends and Drag Race Canada to distract himself with.
Brooke was waiting backstage, the meet and greet running at full speed. He had passed the time by tidying up a little, folding the pieces of Vanjie’s boy clothes and putting his makeup back in the pouches it came from. He could see Jasper’s camera gear all over the place, and while Brooke wasn’t exactly excited to be filmed, he didn’t mind - not when it was Jasper. The videographer had been kind enough not to include the footage from Werq the World of Brooke puking backstage because of his broken toe, which had earned him a big plus in Brooke’s book.
He hadn’t texted Vanjie that he had arrived, and he worried if he had made a mistake, but then, he heard Vanjie come down the hall, his boyfriend's laughter carrying loud and clear, the chatter that followed probably coming from the dancers.
He and Vanjie were spending a short week in the UK, the two of them taking a vacation together in one of their favorite countries, and Brooke couldn’t wait to spend time with his favorite person.
///
Vanjie opens the door to her dressing room, and freezes in place. The camera focuses on Brooke Lynn Hytes over Vanjie’s shoulder. He’s wearing a black leather jacket, a white shirt, a black beanie and blue skinny jeans that fits just right.
“Hey Papi.” Brooke smiles. Vanjie stands still for two seconds, her hand still on the doorknob, but then, she lets out a loud yell.
“BROCK!” Vanjie runs into the room and throws herself at Brooke who catches her, arms around his neck, legs around his waist as she clings to him like a koala. Vanjie hugs him so tight Brooke actually makes a choking sound, but then she lets go.
“I missed your stupid face.” Vanjie runs her thumb over Brooke’s cheek, and the camera catches how Brooke’s face breaks into a giant smile.
“I missed your stupid face.” Vanjie giggles, Brooke’s hand on her ass, and she leans forward, giving him one, two, three, four quick pecks, her lipstick clearly holding her back.
“I see you like the barrettes?”
“Mmh!” Vanjie nods, and Brooke laughs. He releases her slowly, Vanjie gliding down his body, her hand instantly sneaking under his jacket and white shirt, her hands disappearing behind Brooke’s back.
///
“You want a drink?” Vanjie smiled. She was filled with energy, buzzing with the fact that Brooke was there, right there, alive and hers to touch. The dancers had been darlings and had helped her get all the meet and greet presents back to her dressing room. They had made off with all the candy, them eating her gifts a tradition that had started on the very first night of tour.
“I can fend for myself.” Brooke was sitting on the couch, a Terry’s chocolate orange that he had managed to save in hand. Jasper was still filming, but if Vanjie was being honest, she barely even noticed him. “So what’s the lineup?”
“You ain’t peeped the show?” Vanjie knew that she would have spend every moment trawling fan accounts for any hint at what Brooke was doing, but she also knew her boyfriend.
She would have felt sad about the fact that Brooke didn’t take the time to stalk her, but she had learned that it didn’t mean that he wasn’t interested, or that he didn’t love her, it simply meant that he was okay with them doing different things.
“I wanted to see it in person.” Brooke smiled.
“Zip me up please?” Vanjie turned her back to Brooke, quickly getting her hair over her shoulder. She had dressed herself on every single stop, but she wasn’t going to miss an opportunity for her man to touch her.
“Sure.” Vanjie felt Brooke’s deliciously cold fingers grab the zipper, his big palm fanning out on her back as he zipped her up.
“Vanessa-” Vanjie turned to look out the door, Jamie standing there, the expression that told her she was late once again on his face. “Showtime was 11 minutes ago.”
Vanjie felt Brooke freeze up instantly. They had chatted and made fun of each other, Brooke even combing her wig out for her and time had completely gotten away.
“Shit, I’ll just-” Brooke got up, chocolate and Vanjie’s dress forgotten.
“Relax stud.” Vanjie turned, putting a hand on Brooke’s chest. “Ain’t like I wasn’t gonna be late no matter what.”
Brooke made the adorable little face he always did whenever Vanjie said something she knew that pissed him off, but was also not worth the fight.
“Relax. Show ain’t starting til I walk in anyway.”
“I just don’t want to miss my seat.” Brooke smiled. “I got a VIP ticket.”
“You what?” Vanjie pulled back, surprised by Brooke’s words. “You bought a ticket?”
“How else would I see the show?”
Vanjie didn’t know what to say. It was so typical Brooke that he had spent actual money buying something Vanjie would have happily given him for free, Brooke buying a ticket for every single Vegas show he had seen as well, and she loved him for it.
“I hope you gonna tip me.”
“I’ll consider it.” Brooke smirked, giving her one final peck before he walked out, and Vanjie couldn’t wait to deliver the performance of a lifetime.