Chapter Text
“Now, to wrap up our section on sex education, we’re going to be doing a project that I’m sure you’ve all been hearing about since you started taking this class.” Mr. Fisher smiled at them, although it was more of a grimace than a smile. “You’re all going to be assigned partners, and for the next week, you’ll be teamed up as a married couple with...yes, you guessed it, a child.”
“You mean an egg,” someone called out.
Chloe rolled her eyes and shook her head, she had heard all about it of course, but she had been hoping it wouldn’t actually happen. “Fun.” She muttered.
“Actually, thanks to Mr. Luthor’s generation donation, this year we were able to upgrade from eggs...” Mr. Fisher opened a large box on the floor and pulled out a very realistic looking baby doll, holding it up. “To actual synthetic babies.” He smirked at the class. “These babies are quite expensive. You actually have to feed them.” He pulled out a bottle and held it up. “They cry at random times.” He held the baby doll upside down and it began to wail. Loudly. “They cry if you mistreat them. You will also have to change their diapers because after you feed them? They actually leak fluids.”
Her mouth dropped and she stared in horror at the fake baby as the teacher held it up, she glanced over at Oliver, “I'd rather deal with the dead frog again.”
He glanced back at her, a grin spreading across his face as he shook his head. They’d been assigned as biology partners in fifth period, and just last week they’d had to dissect a dead frog. Neither one of them had been that thrilled with it. “At least it won’t smell as bad,” he pointed out.
“Arguable,” she said, shaking her head a little.
“Ms. Sullivan, Mr. Queen. Thanks for volunteering to work together this week.” Mr. Fisher smirked as he walked over to them and held out the baby doll for Chloe to take. “Congratulations, it’s a girl.”
Chloe arched her eyebrows and stared at the doll, then back at the teacher, “I have newspaper after school, can I just write a paper on this instead?”
“No can do, Ms. Sullivan. Everyone in class will be participating. In addition to caring for your infant, you’ll also be expected to come up with a plan to formulate and manage a household budget,” he told the class, looking around. “And you’ll have to keep a journal on your experiences with parenting, and with marriage, in addition to attending school.” He paused for a moment. “And just in case anyone has the idea to simply take out the battery from your infant, you should know that inside each of these dolls, there is a tiny computer system that keeps track of information. For instance, if you stuff your doll into a locker and let it cry for several hours? You won’t be passing this experiment.”
Sighing in defeat, Chloe reached for the doll and set it over the desk, staring down at it, “Great.”
* * *
By the time she made it to the cafeteria, the stupid doll was already crying. She didn’t even bother picking up anything to eat, just made her way over to the table where Clark, Lex and Lana were. “This is ridiculous.” She said, setting her crying purse on the table, then turning to Lex, “I’m going to kill your dad.”
He arched his eyebrows at the threat and then shifted his gaze to the purse. “Why is your purse wailing?”
“Because your dad decided to donate electronic babies to the school for the sex ed egg project,” she said, eyes narrowing, “of course he waited until you were a senior so you wouldn’t have to carry this thing around.” She accused, not that she really blamed Lex, but she was annoyed.
He couldn’t help but smirk. “So you’re stuck with a crying mechanical baby?”
“I should make you take care of it, for your last name alone.” She said, eyes narrowing.
“Oh, Chloe, let me see it!” Lana said, sitting up.
“It’s crying,” Clark said with a slight frown. “Are you sure you should carry it in your purse?”
Lex rolled his eyes. “It’s not like it’s going to suffocate, Clark.”
Chloe reached for the offending doll and held it out to Lana, “maybe it will suffocate, and since I’m obviously not fit to take care of it, maybe you should do it for me, Clark.”
He gave her a look. “It’s not my project,” he pointed out.
The doll continued to scream even as Lana tried rocking it like it was a real infant. “Maybe it needs to eat.” She glanced at Chloe again.
Chloe groaned at that and held her hand out for the doll, setting it on top of her bag and shoving the fake bottle against its mouth, “if it eats, it’s going to need a diaper change.”
Lana’s eyes widened a little at that and she stared down at the doll for a moment. “I guess it’s a pretty effective method of making kids think twice about having sex.”
“I think most high school students know the risk by the time they reach this class,” Chloe said, “this is completely unnecessary, how am I supposed to take care of it, do a budget, keep a journal, do my homework and everything for the Torch on top of it?”
“Aren’t you supposed to have a husband for this project?” Lana asked, eyebrows furrowing a little.
At that moment, a tray was set down in front of Chloe and Oliver dropped onto the seat beside her at the lunch table. “Honey, I brought you lunch.” His voice was light and teasing.
“I do.” Chloe told Lana unnecessarily, then turned to look at Oliver, surprised as she glanced over at his tray.
“You’re not getting any help, Chloe.” Lex said, eyes narrowing at Oliver. “Leave, Queen.”
Oliver arched his eyebrows at Lex. “Sorry, buddy. We’re married now. You’re gonna be seeing me around a lot more.” He turned his attention to Chloe once more. “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got a variety.” He motioned toward the tray.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she told Oliver sincerely. Then she turned to Lex, “but we do have to work on the project so, instead of making both of you uncomfortable,” she turned back to Oliver, “why don’t we go up to the Torch?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want,” Oliver agreed, nodding a little. He rose to his feet once more, picking up the tray with one hand, and her purse with the other. “You just bring our daughter.” He grinned.
Chloe rolled her eyes at him but stood up too, picking up the doll before turning back to her friends, “see you later,” she said.
“Have fun!” Lana said brightly with a smile.
Lex scowled as he watched them go, shaking his head. “Poor Chloe. She’s gonna be stuck doing this whole project alone.”
“He seemed like he wanted to help,” Clark said with a shrug.
“It won’t last,” he informed Clark, rising to his feet.
“We will help if she needs it,” Lana said, “where are you going, Lex?”
“To study in the library. I just lost my appetite.”
Clark frowned and looked down, poking at his food.
“We’ll see you at the Talon after school,” Lana tried, smiling up at him.
“Whatever,” he muttered, dumping the contents of his lunch tray into the garbage and storming off.
* * *
Oliver followed Chloe down the hall and toward the Torch office, watching as she balanced the baby doll on one hand while she unlocked the door with her other hand. Then he followed her inside, setting the tray of food down on the nearest computer table and setting her purse on the small couch by the windows.
“Thanks,” she told him, setting the now silent doll on the couch too, “this is going to be awful.”
“I don’t know. It might not be so bad.” Oliver shrugged a little, moving across the room to look at the Wall of Weird.
“Why would you ever think that?” She asked, leaning against her desk and watching him.
He didn’t answer as his eyes moved from one article headline to another, his eyebrows arching a little higher. “What is all this?”
She pursed her lips together, hesitating. “The wall of weird.” She answered, watching him and cocking her head a little.
“And all this stuff happened here in Smallville?”
“And surrounding areas,” she nodded, “have you heard about the meteor shower?”
“A little.” He turned to look at her, expression curious.
“Well, those things are all connected to it.” She said, pursing her lips together.
“How?”
“Are you sure you want to hear about it?” She asked, moving to sit on the couch but keeping her eyes on him.
“Yeah, why not?” He cocked his head to the side and sat down backwards in one of the desk chairs.
“Well, my theory is that the meteor rocks from the shower can... do weird things to people, mostly temporarily, but not always.”
He arched his eyebrows and turned to look at the wall once more. “Things like make a girl eat an entire cow in one big bite?”
“Kind of like a huge snake would,” she nodded, making a face at the memory.
“Right.” He eyed her for a moment, then glanced back at the wall again.
“I know it sounds crazy,” she shrugged, “but I’ve seen some of it with my own eyes and if you stick around here long enough, you will too.”
He didn’t plan to be in town long enough to get involved with the crazy happenings, if they were true. But he didn’t say so. “So how should we work this out?”
“Well, I think we should alternate days,” she said, noticing the brush off but letting it go. Smallville and the Wall of Weird weren’t for everyone. “Since it’s supposed to cry at random, at least we will have a full night off every other night.”
Oliver nodded. “Sounds like a good idea. And I can work on the budget stuff if you want,” he offered.
“I can do the journal,” she nodded, “but we will have to exchange information for both.”
“Okay. I’ll jot some stuff down when I think of it.” He paused. “We could get together after school to work on stuff if you wanted.”
She hesitated a little, “You didn’t get detention?” She asked, nodding at his face. It was public knowledge that he and Brad McCoy had gotten into a really ugly fight after school the previous day. And the bruise on Oliver’s face was proof it had happened.
He paused, reaching up to rub his jaw gingerly. “Oh. Right. Almost forgot.” He shrugged. “Well, we could meet up somewhere after I’m done serving my time.”
She grinned a little at his choice of words and nodded, “I’ll probably still be here working anyway, what time will you be done?”
“It’s only an hour long. So I should be done by four,” he told her.
“Oh, I’ll definitely be here, then,” she said, nodding. “I guess we will need to figure out the budget thing first.”
“If they let us work on homework in detention, I’ll get started,” he suggested.
“Good idea,” she agreed, then paused, “no offense but... can you make a realistic budget?”
Oliver raised his eyebrows. “Define realistic.”
“Not a multi-millionaire budget.” She said, arching her eyebrows.
“A multi-billionaire budget,” he corrected her. “And that is realistic, considering.”
“I don’t think that’s what Mr. Fisher is looking for in the project, though,” she told him, “besides, technically, you are just the heir to the fortune, you don’t have control over all of it yet, do you?” She asked, even if she knew the answer, “don’t you have a limit you can spend?”
“I thought he was asking us to make a household budget based on who we are.” He raised an eyebrow. “And no, I don’t have control over it. Not until I’m eighteen.” And then he was out of there come hell or high water.
“Maybe he was,” she said, “so I guess we can assume how much money we would be making, or in your case, have and go from there.” Somehow, involving his fortune felt like cheating.
“All right.” He nodded a little. “Do you have a job?”
“Not a paying one,” she said, waving her hand around the room.
“Right.” Oliver glanced around. “So do you think we’re supposed to guess how much we’d be making if we were already in our future jobs?” Maybe he should go talk to Mr. Fisher.
“I don’t know. I'll take another look over the papers he handed us and see if I can figure it out, but I assume so, considering most of us either don’t have jobs or have low paying ones.”
“Definitely not enough money to raise a kid on,” he agreed, nodding a little. “I’ll read over them too. We’ll figure it out. Honey.” He couldn’t help but grin.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “which brings us to the big question: who gets the bot tonight?”
Oliver glanced from her to the doll. “I’ll take it.”
Chloe blinked, surprised, “are you sure?” She asked, she definitely was not expecting him to offer.
“Sure, it’s half my project, too.” Not that he was all that concerned about the class, or his grade.
She nodded, “I’ll take it tomorrow, then,” she agreed as she stood up.
“All right. Sounds good.” He looked at her for a moment, then moved over to pick up the doll.
“Okay.” She watched him back, “where do you wanna meet after school?”
“Here?” he asked, raising his eyebrows once more.
“Sure. Like I said, I’ll be here anyway.” She told him.
“All right. I’ll see you after school then,” he answered with a small smile, tucking the fake baby bottle into his jeans pocket and heading for the door.
“Oliver?” Chloe called, frowning a little.
“Yeah?” He turned to look at her once more.
“You don’t want any of this?” She asked, motioning to the tray he had brought in.
Oliver cocked his head to the side. “No, I got it for you.”
“Oh...” she smiled a little, “thank you.”
He smiled back, nodding, then heading for the door once more before pausing again. “Wait. You forgot something.”
“What?” She asked, cocking her head.
“Well, my goodbye kiss.” He turned to face her again, amusement dancing in his eyes.
Chloe rolled her eyes, her cheeks feeling warm instantly even as she shook her head, “considering we live in separate houses, I think we’re more of a divorced couple,” she said, pulling her chair and sitting down, not entirely sure why that made her as uncomfortable as it had.
He frowned at that. “I think everyone in the class who was paired up lives in separate houses,” he pointed out.
“And considering most marriages end up in divorce anyway, sounds accurate,” she said, this time smirking at him as she felt like she had a little more control over the situation.
Oliver rolled his eyes at that. “Mine won’t,” he responded, heading for the door.
She shrugged at that and turned back to her computer, “good luck.” She muttered, not entirely sure what that whole conversation had been all about.
* * *
“This is absolutely ridiculous,” she said, setting down the calculator, “even if I got three articles every week on the Ledger, we would never be able to afford this budget.” She sighed in frustration, “we’d both have to get full time jobs.”
Oliver started to respond, but at that moment the doll began to cry. He reached out absently and picked it up, placing the bottle in its mouth. “That’s probably the point.”
“I know it is,” she shook her head, “we don’t need a week with that thing to figure it out.”
“Well, I agree, but I’m not the teacher.” He shrugged.
“I know,” she sighed a little, “this is just frustrating.”
Oliver looked over at her for a moment. “I can do the budget myself,” he offered.
“I can help,” she told him, shrugging slightly and looking down at the paper in her hand.
“It’s just...you seem pretty stressed about it.” His comment was casual, no hint of judgement to it.
“Just imagining how hard it must be in real life,” she admitted. Not so much for teenage parents, but for single parents like her dad.
Oliver watched her for a moment, then looked down at the doll in his arm. “I’m sure it is.”
“At least you know you’ll never have to worry about it,” she said gently, smiling a little.
“What, budgeting?” He glanced over at her again.
“Not having enough money to raise a kid if you have one.” She said.
“Yeah.” He nodded a little, studying her again. “Do you plan to? Have kids, I mean? Someday.”
“No.” She said almost instantly, “you?”
He was a little surprised at how quickly she answered, but he shrugged a little. “Maybe one day, yeah.”
“Oh,” she frowned a little at him but nodded and shrugged too.
He drew in a breath and let it out slowly, glancing at the budget he’d worked on in detention that she was holding in her hands. “So you don’t think it’s okay?”
“I think it’s really good with what we have,” she said, holding it back out to him.
“Cool.” He smiled a little at her, glancing around the office.
“What did you think of the journal?” She asked, arching her eyebrows.
“I think it’s great so far,” he assured her, handing it back to her.
“Thanks,” she smiled a little, taking the paper back and setting it on her desk.
Oliver looked down at the doll once more and noticed its eyes were now shut. “I guess it’s nap time,” he commented, bemused.
Chloe arched her eyebrows and looked down at it, “it would be cute if it wasn’t creepy...”
He chuckled at that. “It is a little creepy,” he agreed.
“Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so,” she grinned softly.
“I have a feeling everyone doing this project thinks so. Hopefully it doesn’t come to life and stab me in my sleep like Chucky.” He grinned.
“Sounds accurate,” she made a face, “maybe you need to lock it in your closet.”
“Then I won’t hear it if it starts crying,” he pointed out, chuckling. “Besides, it’s not that big. If it comes to life, I think I can probably take it.”
“I don’t know, it might be super strong,” she said, arching her eyebrows.
“It’d have to be.” He winked at her and looked down at the doll once more.
Chloe grinned a little and rolled her eyes, “so you’re super strong?”
“Naturally.” He flexed his free arm for her, grinning.
“Yeah, you look really manly with the doll in your arms.” She teased, relaxing against her chair.
“Ouch. The mocking. It hurts.” He smiled, glancing over at her once more.
“I think your ego is even stronger than your arms,” she smirked.
His eyes widened a little. “My ego?”
“You have a huge one, right?” She said, then paused, shaking her head, “that didn’t sound right.”
Oliver smirked involuntarily, giving her a look.
Chloe grinned and shook her head, looking away.
“I’m not so bad, really,” he told her, sitting forward in his chair a little.
“I’m not going to judge you based on what Lex thinks, if that’s what you’re saying,” she said, arching her eyebrows.
“I’m glad,” he said honestly, holding her gaze.
She smiled a little and shrugged, “not my style.”
“I knew I liked you for a reason.” He smiled back at her.
“You mean it’s not because of my good will on the first day at school?” She smiled.
“Well, that too,” he acknowledged, nodding.
Chloe grinned a little and shrugged, “I kinda figured you wouldn’t wanna be around me when you found out I worked for the Torch.”
“Well, I haven’t seen my name being libeled here yet, so I think we’re okay.”
“I won’t publish anything unless I have a real story to tell,” she said, shrugging a little.
“A journalist with integrity. A nice change.” He smiled.
She mock bowed her head, “there are some of us, just not at the Inquisitor.”
He grinned at that, nodding a little and glancing up when his cell phone began to ring. He picked it up off the table and glanced at the caller ID, making a face.
Chloe arched her eyebrows curiously, but looked away a second later.
He put it on silent and tucked it into his pocket a moment later, reluctantly standing up. “I should be getting back to to the Luthor’s.”
“Right,” she nodded a little, “thanks for doing all the budget stuff.”
“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he told her with a wink before heading for the door.
“Bye,” she said, smiling softly as she sat back.
He glanced at her once more before disappearing out of the Torch’s office.
Chloe let out a breath then turned back to her computer. Maybe the project wouldn’t be completely terrible.