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The hug had lasted for a solid few minutes. Other than softly swaying, neither of them had moved, both enjoying the comfort and reassurance the other brought. When they had moved apart, finding himself still wanting to touch her, Ressler reached out and held her hand. “I meant it Liz, I'm with you, good or bad.”
She gratefully nodded and replied, “same here Ress, you've got me.”
There was a pause, not awkward, and Liz broke the silence.
“Agnes is asleep and just before you came I was about to break out my secret stash of ice cream. You wanna join me?”
Ressler couldn't help but shake his head and laugh at Liz hiding ice-cream for herself from her daughter but asked, “which flavour?”
She grinned and replied boysenberry and after he said that it sounded good, she grabbed the tub and spoons and made her way to the couch.
Taking off his jacket and hanging it on the back of an armchair, Ressler joined her there. It had only been less than a minute since the hug but he found himself missing the warmth of feeling her body against his (he quickly had to stop his mind running away at that thought) so chose to sit right next to her, shoulders and legs pressed right against hers.
Smiling at his seating choice she held out a spoon for him and after their first bite asked if he wanted to watch TV. He said sure and she turned it on, lowering the volume so as to not wake Agnes.
Ressler was constantly amazed by how well Keen knew him. After the ordeal of the last few days Ressler supposed that people would want to get together with friends or family but all he wanted was a quiet mundane moment of calm. And that was exactly what Liz was giving him right now. A rerun of the Indiana Jones movies were going on and they both ate and watched in silence, comfortable in each other's presence and soaking in the warmth the other provided.
The already half empty tub was soon finished and, too comfortable to walk to the kitchen, they put the tub and spoons onto the coffee table. A few seconds later, Keen wordlessly slid off her slippers, tucked her feet under herself and rested her head on his shoulder.
Ressler’s chest exploded with a strong burst of warmth and affection and the involuntary, almost goofy, smile that came across his face made him glad that Keen was facing the TV. No longer capable of focusing on what was on the screen, Ressler’s thoughts went to what had happened during the day.
When he had first found out the body had disappeared, his mind had immediately gone to Keen. Who else would've had anything to do with it? She had left Detroit before him, needing to take care of Agnes and letting him spend more time with his family, but she hadn't said a word about the body.
She hadn't told him what she had planned to do and she hadn't told him after she'd done it, so when he came back he had had to come over and ask her about it. He genuinely could not understand why she'd risk everything; her daughter, her job, her life, to save him.
If she had been caught… Ressler let out a shuddered breath. He didn't know how he'd have lived with himself if she'd been caught while trying to protect him. He just had to know and understand why.
He had expected an answer so it had thrown him off balance when she called him a knucklehead and a dipstick and said she didn't do it for him. In that moment he had been confused. If not for him then who? Robby? Yeah that wasn't possible. Then who?
And then she had gone on to say that she relied on him for everything and he hadn't believed her. Surely it was Reddington? Ressler tried to help Liz out the best he could but Red had the capabilities to help out in situations way more than he ever could have.
She had paused then asked if he had looked at her life and he had stayed quiet, unsure of where she had been going with it. And then she explained. About her messed up family and about feeling like she was being drowned and his heart couldn't help but but break at the tears in her eyes and the pain she had clearly kept bottled up for some time.
But when she had, with raw emotion and a slightly lighter voice, described him as her small island of calm, his heart clenched and the realisation formed that she had done it for herself. She had done it for herself because she couldn't bear to lose him and the feeling slammed into him of knowing just how important he was to her.
So when she'd said that she'd be swept out to sea without him, he believed her, but no way was he ever going to let that happen. In that moment the overwhelming urge to calm her had him instinctively pulling her into his arms and reassuring her she would never be alone. And as he had felt her let out a breath and relax into his embrace, he finally relaxed too.
Now that he truly understood what he meant to her, and he was sure she knew the same about him, they were in complete comfort, snuggled together on the couch.
Ressler opened his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to adjust to that moving lights from the screen glaring in the middle of a dark room. He looked up at the clock and realised he had drifted off two hours ago. Glancing down he smiled softly at Liz who, still tucked up against him, had fallen asleep too.
He wondered if he should go home but realised A. he was too tired to drive but more importantly B. didn't really want to. That question answered, he asked himself if he should try to get Keen into her own bed. He knew that sleeping in your own bed rather than sharing a couch with someone was probably way more comfortable and Keen needed her rest, more so than him, to deal with Agnes the next day but, selfishly, he couldn't bring himself to move her.
In that moment he realised just how much he loved her cosied up against him and feeling the gentle rise and fall of her breathing in a peaceful sleep reassured him. The warmth she exudes calmed him and, that question answered as well, he decided not to move her.
He did however, reach to turn the TV off, moving slowly so as to not wake Liz. He then gently wrapped one arm around her shoulders and with his other hand softly held her head as he outstretched himself along the length of the couch, taking Liz with him.
She shifted in her sleep at the motion but as he reassured her and slowly rubbed circles on her back, she nuzzled herself tighter into his chest and, after giving a small contented sigh, fell back asleep.
And for the second time that day Ressler’s chest burst with emotion. His partner who was so warm and friendly but always wary and paranoid because of everything that had happened in her life, trusted him enough to let her guard down when she was with him and finally just relax.
Earlier today he had told her he didn't like her when they first met and that was completely true. If someone had described to him then how the two of them would be cuddled together and that it'd be one of the happiest moments in his life, he would've, quite frankly, thought they were batshit crazy. How times, and people, change.
He went from hating her guts, begrudgingly respecting her, liking her, and now he felt… so much more.
For a while now Ressler had tried to repress those feelings (feelings which he still hadn't properly admitted to himself) because he knew nothing could come of them.
But now, he slowly started to doubt he was the only one in their partnership with those feelings.
In the past he had had a few moments of hope but really just had thought he was fooling himself. But after everything today, how could hope not creep up on him that Liz felt the same way? And with that happy thought in his head, his arms around a peacefully sleeping Liz and her head tucked tightly against his chest, he fell asleep more content than he had been for a long time.
A sudden squeal woke Ressler and Liz up and he only had time to register it was morning before the excited girl clambered on top of them.
“Mommy! Resswr!”
Keen’s voice, rough from having a solid night’s sleep, (he couldn't help the fluttering in his chest at the sound) greeted her energetic daughter and Ressler grunted out a “morning” to both the Keen girls.
Liz, sensing that he needed more time to wake up, chatted with Agnes as the latter asked why he was here, why they were on the couch, and what was for breakfast.
Ressler’s heart had never been more full. Liz, clearly comfortable, had not tried to get up, only moving so Agnes could cuddle under her arm on his chest.
It was only when she moved did Ressler realise that she had been sleeping with her arms tightly wrapped around him. How could he not smile at that realisation?
Both of them lying on his chest were a bit heavy but no way would he move. He loved it. He couldn't even be annoyed at the pair giggling as Liz confessed in a conspiratorial whisper to her daughter that he snored. It was only when Agnes, in the same whisper, asked if he sounded like a bear and Liz confirmed, did he growl and wrap his arms around the two Keens who were squirming and giggling even harder. After a tickle session, which almost had the three of them fall onto the ground, did Liz suggest they get up (did Ressler imagine the reluctance in her voice or was it really there?)
Agnes climbed off, and looking at the coffee table, gave a small shout. “Hey! Where's dis ice cweem from?”
Keen propped herself up onto her forearm to look at him and (ignoring the fluttering of his heart at her being that close) he gave her a pointed look but smiled as she laughed and shook her head.
Her laugh died down and she slowly spoke. “Well, I should probably get up now.”
He gazed steadily at her. “You can take your time.”
She gave a small laugh and said, “I know I'm not that light Ress, it's not like it's just Agnes on you.”
“I know. What I'm saying is that,” he smirked, “I really don't mind you on top of me.”
She raised an eyebrow and a slow smile spread across her face but before anything could happen, Agnes, who had gone to change out of her pj’s, came zooming back into the room asking for breakfast (seriously, he loved the kid but c’mon, the timing!).
Liz sighed and rolled her eyes at the intrusion and Ressler just grinned back at her. She climbed off him and was quickly dragged away by a clearly very hungry Agnes. He sat up and watched from the couch as the two of them happily started to make breakfast.
Deciding it was probably time to let them have their morning, he grabbed his jacket and made his way to the kitchen intending to say bye.
Liz, in the middle of whisking eggs said, “Ress, stay for breakfast! We're having Agnes’ favourite, an English fry-up.”
Ressler smiled as Agnes asked him to stay too but shook his head and jokingly said, “I think I've intruded long enough.”
Keen stopped her whisking and with complete sincerity said, “you could never.”
Slightly taken aback by the intensity in her voice he paused, but with both Keens asking him to stay, one with a sincere hopeful look and the other with adorable puppy eyes, how could he say no?
He broke out into a grin. “How can I say no to the munchkin’s favourite?”
Liz gave him a large smile and Agnes hugged his legs.
He hugged her back and said, “let me put my jacket down and you can give me a role so we can all eat faster.”
They both approved of his plan and the three of them got to cooking (with Agnes on toaster duty).
Ressler would never have thought that something as simple as making breakfast could bring him so much joy but standing in Liz’s kitchen, all three of them laughing at a silly joke Agnes had said, his heart filled with warmth and he decided he had never been happier.