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Guillermo balances precariously on the top step of the main set of stairs of the house, feather duster in hand. It's early evening and his master had recently awakened. It wasn't unusual for Nandor to assign him chores soon after waking for the night, but this time, he simply waved his familiar away with barely a word. Ever since the disaster of a night that was the the Mosquito Club vampire hunt and Nandor's "curse," an unspoken tension had arisen between them. Nandor was oscillating between ignoring him except to bark orders and calling him to his side to reminisce about past battles or adventures. Sometimes Guillermo would catch Nandor watching him but whenever he tried to ask about it, the vampire just snapped at him to get back to work. Guillermo in turn was becoming more and more frustrated with his master's mercurial behavior.
Back in the present, Guillermo purposefully dislodges a spider web and shakes out the antiquated duster with more force than necessary. There's a brief coughing fit from one of the camera crew below. "Sorry!" Guillermo looks down guiltily. "I'm sorry!"
"I am a little bit nervous," Nandor confesses to the camera lens pointed at him. "I have a gift for Guillermo and I plan to present it to him tonight." The vampire taps the ancient wooden box on his lap. "Some might say I am spoiling my familiar by giving him two gifts in one year." He stops. "No, it's true. I do spoil him a little." A private smile flits across his face and then he looks at the camera, fangs flashing. "But I am not soft!" He gathers his cape and swirls out of the room, before belatedly remembering to grab something from the box.
"Gee-eirmo!" Nandor sing-songs from outside the fancy room where his familiar is tidying.
"Yes, Master?" Guillermo turns to face him.
"Come here please, Guillermo." Nandor motions him closer. "I have a surprise for you!"
Guillermo's heart races and he spares a hopeful glance at the camera.
Nandor orders him to close his eyes.
"Hey! No sneaky-peaking!"
Guillermo suppresses the urge to roll his eyes and puts his hand over his face.
"Better. Are you ready?" Nandor pulls a small, rectangular piece of paper from somewhere within his large cape. "Ta-da!"
Guillermo opens his eyes and stares at Nandor. On anyone else, Guillermo would describe his master's smile as dorky. On Nandor, it's well, relentlessly dorky.
"Oh." He takes the paper Nandor is brandishing and reads it aloud. "'This coupon valid for one small scoop of ice cream. Expires June 30th, 1998.' Wow. Master, I don't know what to say."
Nandor waves his hand dismissively, entirely missing the sarcasm in his familiar's voice. "I know! I am very generous. But you have loyally served me for all these..." He pauses, as if to mentally count something. "M--years and I thought you deserved a reward!" Nandor's earnest smile does not waiver, even as Guillermo looks between the camera and Nandor with an exasperated frown. There is a subtle shake of the camera as the camera man shrugs at Guillermo.
Nandor presses on, oblivious to the now indignant look on Guillermo's face. "And I thought perhaps tonight you and I could," the vampire fidgets with the sleeve of his cape, looking uncharacteristically shy. "Go...out?"
Guillermo blinks. "Go out? To the store, you mean? I'm sorry about the markers, Master. They only had pink ones."
"No, no, the markers are fine. Well, pink isn't a very vampiric color but if that's all you could find..." He trails off as if not convinced, then focuses again on his original question. "I mean you and I go out to the Baskin and Robbins."
"You're asking me to go to an ice cream place in February?" Guillermo asks incredulously.
"Perhaps I should take back that gift if you are going to act like this!" Nandor exclaims, reaching for the voucher.
"Wait!" Guillermo says quickly. "No, Master, that sounds...nice. It would be nice to go with you. Let me just go change first?"
"Yes, you look awful, Guillermo. All dusty, like gargoyle's ear."
"Thanks," he mutters.
"You're welcome!"
Guillermo just sighs and walks off towards his little room under the stairs.
"It's getting more and more difficult to find clean clothes," Guillermo laughs, a little hysterically. He looks around to ensure the only ones listening are the camera crew. "Vampire blood," he says sotto voce, "is surprisingly hard to get out," he finishes at a normal volume. "Wait, why is that surprising? That's the least surprising thing I've learned in the past ten years. Stupid," he shakes his head, then looks back to the camera. "Um, this might take a minute," he gestures at the pile of clothes on his bed. "Maybe you should come back later?"
Finally Guillermo emerges, dressed in a thick, olive green sweater and dark brown trousers. He finds Nandor in the library, flipping through a book. The camera zooms in on the novel, which the vampire is holding upside down. "I'm ready, Master," he says softly.
Nandor whirls around, dropping the book. "Guillermo! How many times have I told you, stop sneaking around like that!"
"Sorry, Master."
"Going to have to put a bell on you," Nandor grouses. "Write that down. Bell for Guillermo."
"Yes, Master."
"Good. Well!" he says, clapping his hands together. "Are you ready for the Baskin and Robbins?"
Guillermo smiles at him. "Yes, Master."
Nandor returns the smile before dramatically sweeping out of the room. "Then let us go now!"
To Guillermo's complete lack of surprise, the Baskin Robbins is completely empty, except for the woman behind the counter. She gives them a half-hearted wave and goes back to scrolling on her phone. Guillermo pretends to study the flavors as Nandor hovers unusually close behind him. "What are those miniature spoons for, Guillermo?" he asks.
"Oh, they're so you can sample the flavors."
"There sure are a lot of them. Would you like to try some?"
Guillermo half turns towards him. "I don't want to take up your time, Master."
"No, no, go ahead. Maybe you can...tell me how they taste?"
The camera pans to the cashier, who pulls a disgusted face. "Freaks," she mouths silently.
"Um, maybe I'll skip that today."
"All right." Guillermo thinks he hears a note of disappointment in Nandor's voice. He suddenly realizes how many foods Nandor has missed out on since becoming a vampire and turns back to the glass to hide the expression on his face. "I could tell you what the flavor I get tastes like if you want, Master?" he offers instead.
Nandor visibly brightens and nods. "I would like that."
"You two ready to order yet?" the cashier asks, popping the "t" in "yet."
"Yes, um," Guillermo pushes up his glasses. "I would like a scoop of Rocky Road, please."
"And for the caped crusader?" she says in a bored tone.
Guillermo can feel Nandor bristling behind him. "Nothing for him, thank you," he says quickly.
"That'll be $2.79. Cash or card?"
"Neither. We have this!" Nandor looks to Guillermo who is fumbling in his pockets for change. "Well go on, Guillermo. Give her the token!"
"Master, it expired over 20 years ago."
"Nonsense! Give the ice cream woman the coupon."
"I can't!"
"Guillermo!"
"It's expired!"
"Enough of this! You are being very disrespectful right now, Guillermo!" Nandor all but whines.
By this point, two more people have entered the ice cream shop and are eyeing the pair dubiously.
The cashier gives the camera a long suffering stare. "You know what? It's on the house. Congratulations! You're the, uh, 999th customer! Now please, just take the ice cream and get out of my line."
"Thank you!" Guillermo drops the total owed into the tip jar and flashes her an apologetic smile. Nandor scans the room for an acceptable table and chooses one in a corner away from the door.
Guillermo grabs a fistful of napkins and sits down across from him. While Guillermo eats, Nandor asks him questions about his dessert. Initially he's taken aback. He can't think of a time when Nandor showed anything more than a passing interest in what he has to say.
"So what is in this rocket road?"
"Rocky Road."
Nandor sucks his teeth when Guillermo corrects him. Guillermo shoots an exasperated look to the documentary crew. At first he feels awkward trying to explain flavors to a being who hasn't eaten any type of human food for over 700 years, but soon he gets caught up in the moment. Nandor watches him intently, only interrupting to ask questions. It sends a thrill down Guillermo's spine to be the focus of his master's attention. All too soon, he finds himself finished with his ice cream. He dabs his mouth with a napkin and looks towards the door. "I guess I'll see you at the house, Master."
Nandor tilts his head in confusion.
"Well I thought you'd want to, you know," Guillermo drops his voice. "Fly home?"
Nandor looks embarrassed. "I am not sure if I know the way home. You know I've never been here before and I wasn't really paying attention to the street names when we were on the bus. So I will travel with you, Guillermo."
Guillermo gives him a funny look, as if he doesn't believe him, but doesn't press the issue.
As they walk towards the bus stop, Nandor motions for the camera crew to stay back. When he's satisfied that they are far enough away, he looks to his familiar. "So, Guillermo..."
"Yes, Master?"
"I was lying about not being able to fly home. I know where we live."
"I know, Master."
"Yes. Well. I have been feeling a little uneasy lately," he admits. "I know Nadja and Laszlo say it is ridiculous, but what if there really is a familiar killer on the loose? You humans are such weak, pathetic little things. A raccoon could kill you! I've seen it. Lots of teeth and claws. Very grisly. Very unpleasant."
Guillermo makes a small strangled noise.
"What was that, Guillermo?"
"Nothing, Master."
"The world is a dangerous place, Guillermo. You are a good familiar. I don’t want you to get hurt,” he says softly.
“I don’t want to get hurt either, Master,” Guillermo replies, just as quietly.
"So that is why I am here. To protect you."
"Thank you, Master."
A quiet moment passes between them, broken only when Guillermo starts to shiver.
"Are you cold, Guillermo?"
He shrugs then hugs himself to combat the chill. "Maybe a little, but it's fine."
Nandor frowns. "I have heard of people freezing to death in minutes."
"Yeah, but that's like, in Siberia. I'm not going to freeze to death waiting for the bus in New York."
"No, this will not do. I will not have a popsicle for a familiar!" Suddenly there is movement and Guillermo finds himself with Nandor's cape draped around his shoulders.
"Oh," he says, too stunned to say anything else. He pulls the heavy cloak close then an idea occurs. He holds his arm up to his face so that only his eyes are showing. "Hey, Master, how do I look?"
"Ridiculous." Nandor looks away but Guillermo still catches his fond smile.
Back at the house, Guillermo sits on his bed, the coupon in his hands. "Was I surprised by my master's invitation? Well, it's not as if we haven't gone to places together. Usually it's because he needs help with something or he doesn't think I'll buy the right thing. He's never going to trust me to buy markers now," he mutters. "But I guess this was a little different. He wanted to go out for ice cream. Which he cannot eat. Because he is a vampire." He pauses. "Just the two of us. Together. Oh. OH!" He scrambles for the door, practically shoving the camera crew out of his room. From behind the door, the boom mic manages to pick up a muffled scream.
Now alone in his room, Guillermo starts to rock back and forth on his heels. His head spins as he tries to come to terms with the very real possibility that his master had just taken him on a date. Something like hope blooms in his chest. He wonders how to broach the subject. He can't imagine simply asking Nandor outright. "Hey, Master, just curious. Did you just ask me out?" he ponders aloud and then giggles. He flops down on his bed, hugging his knees to his chin as he considers what to do.
Several hours later, Guillermo has yet to come up with any ideas. He stares at the sketches on his wall, Nandor's glitter portrait hanging front and center. The sting of Nandor's refusal to turn him has lessened and now he can truly appreciate the time and effort his master put into creating the piece. His musing is interrupted by a soft knock at his door.
"Guillermo? May I come in, please?"
"Yes, Master!"
Nandor opens the door but stops short of entering the room. He looks around at Guillermo's tiny living quarters.
"Do you need something, Master?"
At first, Nandor is silent. Then his gaze falls on the portrait. "You know when I first gave this to you, Guillermo, I almost thought you didn't like it." He says, sounding strangely sad.
Guillermo makes a small noise. "Well..." He glances up at his master who is looking uncertain. "I appreciate it, Master. I really do."
"Oh. Good, good, that is good."
Guillermo smiles despite himself. Feeling bold, he pats the spot on the bed next to him. "Would you like to sit down?"
Nandor hesitates.
"There's no one here but us," Guillermo says gently.
Nandor awkwardly shuffles over and sits down, leaving a respectable distance between them. Guillermo's heart skips a beat when he feels the mattress dip from the added weight.
"Thank you for tonight, Master," he murmurs. "I had a very nice time."
"You're welcome," Nandor replies. A strained silence descends as Guillermo tries to think of something, anything else to say.
Finally Nandor speaks. "Tell me, Guillermo, why would you want to give this all up?"
Guillermo furrows his brow in confusion. "Give what up, Master?"
"Your life. Rocky Road ice cream. Seeing the sun rise. All these things you would lose if you became a vampire."
Guillermo chooses not to focus on the "if." "It would be worth it."
"But why?"
"You mean you really don't know?" Guillermo stifles a desperate giggle.
"What is there to know? You aren't making any sense, Guillermo."
Guillermo stares at his lap and mumbles something. The room suddenly feels too small with Nandor in it, as if the vampire is taking up all the air.
"Speak clearly, Guillermo!"
"Sorry, Master," he says reflexively. "I, uh, I'm, oh, oh Go--sh. Please don't kill me, Master."
"Guillermo!" Nandor growls.
"Yes, okay," he lets out a shaky sigh. "I love you, Master. I want to become a vampire so I can spend eternity with you, like Nadja and Laszlo."
Nandor stares at him in shock. "You are serious?"
"Yes! I thought surely by now you knew and were choosing to ignore it."
"But I am a vampire," Nandor replies, still stunned by Guillermo's admission.
"Kinda knew that, Master."
"Watch it," Nandor scolds, but there is no fire behind it. "Do you mean to say you love me because I am a vampire?"
Guillermo winces. He supposes it might appear that way, given how desperately he followed Nandor around initially. "Well yes. But also no. It's very cool that you're a vampire, Master."
"Naturally."
This time, Guillermo can't stop his nervous giggle. "Naturally. But you're also very loyal to Nadja and Laszlo. You're even kind to me, well, sometimes. You're cunning. I mean, how you handled that feud with those werewolves? That was very clever what you did. You're also very handsome," he adds with a blush.
Nandor looks caught between preening and blushing like a school girl. Well, if school girls were unnaturally pale and had sharp teeth.
Guillermo ducks his head as he continues. "But really, the way you act around me when the cameras aren't on? That's why I love you, Master."
"Oh, Guillermo," Nandor says, barely louder than a whisper. "I never knew you felt this way." He tentatively reaches out and brushes his hand against his familiar's cheek. Guillermo leans into his master's touch, sighing softly. Nandor leans in close and presses a kiss to his lips. It happens so quickly, Guillermo can barely register it happening. Nandor pulls back and worries his bottom lip. Guillermo finds something endearing about watching this fierce vampire suddenly look shy and uncertain. Before Nandor can get any ideas about leaving, Guillermo closes the gap between them and kisses him again. Nandor responds by deepening the kiss and crowding him on the bed. Guillermo reaches up and runs a hand through Nandor's shaggy mane. Finally they pull apart so Guillermo can catch his breath.
"Do you want me to close the door, Master?"
Nandor pulls Guillermo back down onto the bed and waves his hand, the door slamming shut.
Sitting in their room, Nadja and Laszlo gaze at the camera.
"Seems like Nandor's finally pulled his head out of his arse," Nadja remarks.
"Yeah, and it sounds like Gizmo found something to replace it with," Laszlo replies.
-=End=-
Thanks for reading!