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For Shikamaru, it seemed that he had woken up one day and his existence had been the orphanage. It was never something he had ever dwelled on, it was what it was and he was perfectly content with this.
It wasn't a bad place, although it probably wasn't amazing either. Kids arrived and left, either being adopted out, or were put in foster care. No one had yet to want him and to be honest, he didn't want anyone to claim him. Leaving meant change and adjusting, and he was really too lazy to bother or care.
He had a routine here. The young six year old would wake up – reluctantly – do his chores, eat, sleep the rest of the day, eat some more, shower and bed. Somewhere in there would be hanging-out time with Chouji, his best friend who had been around just as long as him. Once every two weeks an old man would show up to visit and he'd bring a shogi board. He had showed Shikamaru the basics once and the boy had immediately picked up on it to the man's surprise.
Shikamaru didn't love much, but shogi definitely fell under the category. It helped him focus his ever constant thoughts on something complicated and he found he liked the outlet. The old man was always eager to play with him and he definitely knew what he was doing. He praised the young boy often on his skills and while Shikamaru would never admit it; he liked it. Deep down he enjoyed feeling important to someone, even if it was just twice a month.
Two weeks after his seventh birthday the old man died. Although he had given much of his assets away to his grown children, Shikamaru had been stunned to find the man's shogi board sitting on his bed. Attached to it had been a note thanking him for indulging an old man and making him happy for the last two years of his life. He wanted Shikamaru to keep the board, because he felt it would be in better hands than with his children who had never appreciated the game.
It was one of the few times the young boy would ever cry.
Life went on and he fell back into routine. Chouji, bless him, actually tried to learn the game for a while in an attempt to cheer him up. It wasn't necessary – everyone died eventually, it was the natural order of things – but he definitely appreciated it. His best friend was a great guy and while he would miss him, many times Shikamaru hoped he'd be taken in by a good family. He felt his friend was more suited to family life than to an orphanage.
A month later came the first huge change in the young boy's life. Everyone was talking about it; the boy whose family had 'died' through 'mysterious' means. Shikamaru thought it was just a bunch of hype at first because really, 'mysterious deaths'? That sounded ten types of stupid to him. Everything could be explained one way or another and since he was a hard realist, he figured more than likely that 'mysterious death' meant 'murdered'.
When the kid, Uchiha Sasuke was his name, finally arrived Shikamaru had been unimpressed. Mostly because all the girls had hyped him up as being some sort of 'super hottie' when they had all seen his picture in the files. He wasn't really one to judge guys on appearance but he 'super hottie' hadn't really been the first thing that had come to mind. He really didn't get girls and their guy categorizing.
The new kid looked anything but 'hot' or 'pleased' to be there. He was very pale with obvious bags under his eyes and he had a total of three expressions: irritated, indifferent, and moderately pissed off. The third one only really emerged at the end of the day when he'd had his fill of girls hanging all over him. Otherwise one and two were predominant.
At first he had tried to remain indifferent to the girls and attempts to ignore were made. Shikamaru could have told him that was pointless, but it was better for people to learn through experience. The Uchiha was hounded constantly and as time went on when he did become responsive it was to be a complete and total ass. He could have told the Uchiha that wasn't going to work either, but he found out the hard way once again.
He didn't pity the raven-haired boy, mostly because he knew the other wouldn't want it. For the first few days he had disliked Sasuke due to his cold and borderline hostile attitude towards others. It had been annoying because the girls would eat it up and ask for seconds and for the life of him he honestly didn't get it.
Had Sasuke not ended up in his room Shikamaru would have kept this opinion. Because he and Chouji had been there the longest, they were in one of the smaller rooms that were for overflow children only. It was a sweet setup because it was only the two of them. The only other person that had been there as long as them was Naruto, but he was a huge ball of energetic sunshine and preferred to be with all the other children. That was fine with the brunette, because Naruto was annoying like Uchiha, just in different ways.
Sasuke was put into their room due to his situation and disposition. The counselors felt that putting him around too many children would do more harm than good, especially since he was already reacting negatively to the girls. When he first moved in he said nothing to them, didn't even acknowledge their presence. He had quietly unpacked and quietly gone about his business and the two friends had been content to do the same.
Then the screaming started.
It had jolted both boys awake in the middle of the night and both had ended up bolting out of bed immediately; rushing over to the Uchiha's bed. It had been reaction only, no real thought had been involved as they jumped up and tried to pin the flailing boy down. Both had taken in the anguished screams and the hot tears that had streamed down pale cheeks and they both realized one thing: Maybe the rumors had been true after all.
Eventually he calmed down and fell back into a restless state; he didn't awaken. In the morning, neither told him what happened and if he suspected, he said nothing.
The nightmares were frequent and after that first night Shikamaru began to see the other boy differently. Instead of Sasuke looking indifferent he seemed almost sad. Instead of looking irritated he looked...well no, he was genuinely irritated at the girls pursuing him. The three emotions, however, seemed to evolve into more. He noticed that when Sasuke was alone he looked contemplative and withdrawn. Sometimes, and it was very rare, he would look at the other children and something would flash in those onyx depths.
Apparently, Chouji had noticed it as well. Being the big softie that he was, one day he took one of his favorite snacks and walked over to the Uchiha. The smaller male rarely ate and it showed by the way his clothes somewhat hung off his body and how unnaturally thin he looked.
“Here.” he handed Sasuke his last bit of onigiri. “I'm full, so you can have it.”
Shikamaru had expected hostility or for Chouji to be just flat out ignored. He appeared to be the sort of person who didn't want to be bothered and resented it when people did. It was one of the reasons why the Nara wasn't too fond of him even if he understood why he was that way.
He was surprised when dark eyes took in the offering, looked up at Chouji, back down to the offering again and smiled very thinly. Had he not been looking, Shikamaru would have missed it. Until then, he hadn't thought the guy was capable of smiling.
“Thanks...but I'm not hungry.” it was said – surprisingly – politely with a hint of sadness. Understanding that the other boy wouldn't take the offering, but hadn't been outright rejected either, Chouji walked away feeling positive about the situation.
“I don't think he was always like that.” his friend had told him and Shikamaru had silently agreed. He had to admit, the scene had made his opinion of the new boy rise considerably.
Chouji kept trying, that was just the sort of person he was, but he didn't do so to the point where it was annoying. If Sasuke came into the room and the two boys were doing something, every now and then he would ask the Uchiha to join in. He had invited him to sit with them during lunch occasionally and while it was even less frequent, he would offer a snack or two if he noticed the Uchiha hadn't eaten much in a while.
At first it obviously confused the other boy; he didn't understand why someone was going out of their way to be nice to him when he was making it clear he didn't want anyone to bother. He was never rude to Chouji, perhaps because the other boy didn't go out of his way to constantly bother him. It was actually a month after his arrival that Sasuke finally responded to the two boys.
“Shogi,” he began one day and hesitated slightly as two sets of eyes flickered up to him. “That's...a strategy game.”
“Yeah.” Shikamaru leaned back a bit from his spot on the floor. “Chouji and I always play around this time. Do you know how to play?”
The Uchiha looked uncomfortable. “No...not...really.”
“Well, Shikamaru is really good!” Chouji chimed in and shifted so that the boy could take his spot. “He's a pretty good teacher too, even if says it's troublesome.”
The topic of the conversation made a small noise. “It is troublesome...” he looked up at Sasuke who looked as if he was trying to remain impassive but in reality was nervous and very uncomfortable. “You wanna learn?”
His mouth opened as if to give his normal automatic denial before he paused. A moment of internal battle later and he nodded once. “Yeah.”
Nothing changed terribly much after that. Outside of the room the Uchiha did not hang around them, but if he was greeted he returned the favor. Inside the room he did not always play shogi with them, content to read or brood alone. He did not talk about himself and he did not ask them about themselves. They could not really consider him a friend but he was somehow more than an acquaintance.
What did change, mostly for Sasuke, was that somehow he ended up getting the number one loudmouth's attention. More than likely this had to do with Yamanaka Ino fawning all over the boy and him having a massive crush on her; but eventually it became too much and Naruto decided to confront him one day in the cafeteria.
“Uchiha!” the blond exclaimed loudly from the other side of the dining hall, pointing his finger at the brunette. When he was pointedly ignored he bristled “Oy! I'm talking to you!”
“And I'm ignoring you.” it was said flatly as he took a bite out of his curry. He made a small face at it before continuing.
“Hey you!” in two point five seconds he was magically in the other boy's face, frowning at the pretty boy who seemed to get all of the girls. “What's your deal?”
A dark eyebrow twitched as equally dark eyes took in the boy crouching in front of him on the table. Hovering over his food. “Go. Away.” he growled. “I don't feel like dealing with you.”
This is interesting. Shikamaru thought. This was the most Sasuke had spoken since arriving.
“Yeah well, I got beef with you pal!” the blonde snapped, jerking forward to grab hold of Sasuke's shirt, pulling him close. “What's up with your attitude, huh? Acting like you're so cool...”
“You don't know what you're talking about. Go away, you're loud.”
This only made the blonde increase his volume. “What was that, you bastard? Say that again, I dare ya!”
“Naruto!” Ino was pulling on the boy's atrociously loud orange jacket “Leave Sasuke-kun alone!”
“B-but Ino-chan...” he protested, turning slightly to the other blonde. “This guy is...”
“Wonderful? Amazing? Leave him alone!” a crowd of girls had appeared behind her, arms crossed, eyes demonic and teeth bared as they nodded in agreement.
“Let go of me, idiot!” grabbing Naruto's arm, he tried to push the other away. “Go bother someone else, you're annoying!”
He had Naruto's full attention again. “What was that, you -”
Everyone stopped at the sound of hurried footsteps and frantic shouts out in the halls. Curious children being curious, they all quickly rushed to find a window or discreetly crack open a door to see what the fuss was about.
The adults were running around, barking orders and carrying boxes around. While Shikamaru could hear the other kids asking why they were carrying so much stuff and rushing, the question on the Nara's mind was why were they heading to his room?
The question was answered when shortly after the chaos settled they were called into their room by the orphanage's nurse, Shizune. Lining them up, she squatted so that she was level with the three boys.
“Chouji-kun, Shikamaru-kun, Sasuke-kun, there's only you three in this room. Normally, we wouldn't do this because you're boys, but the girls' rooms are full and our new arrival needs a bit more space than what the girls rooms can provide her.”
“You're letting a girl stay in here?” Sasuke looked deeply disturbed by this but both Shikamaru and Chouji thought the reaction was positive. Normally, he wouldn't have said anything but around the two boys he seemed to be more relaxed to do and say what he felt. They didn't think Sasuke was such a bad kid anymore; just depressed from his family being killed and annoyed by all the attention he didn't want. It also meant that he was fine with letting people get close, even though it seemed he had been afraid of doing so for a while.
“Yes but...” Standing, the nurse moved to the side to give the boys a better view of their new room mate. “I don't think she'll give you much problems.
Quietly, the three walked slowly over to the girl lying on the bed. She was hooked up to few machines to monitor her vitals. She was actually paler than Sasuke – something Shikamaru had thought impossible until now – with short dark purple hair and one dull white eye.
Everything else, including her left eye, was covered in bandages.
When they came up close she did not acknowledge them; if she even knew they were there they'd be surprised. Upon closer inspection all three noticed that her eye wasn't white at all, but a pale lavender. The girl did nothing but stare up at the ceiling. Were it not for the fact that she blinked and breathed, they would have thought her dead.
“Her name is Hinata,” Shizune explained, putting a hand on Chouji and Shikamaru's shoulders. “She's a little younger than you three boys and her family was in a very terrible plane crash. She was one of the very few survivors. She's stable now, but she hasn't spoken since and she won't move either. We're going to let her stay here until she's good enough to be moved in with the girls but until then, try not to bother her, alright? She's been through a rough ordeal.”
“We won't.” Shikamaru and Chouji answered automatically but Sasuke wasn't paying them any attention. His gaze was on the girl with a look that had been like his not that long ago. A look that spoke of things she shouldn't have seen at such a young age.
They waited until she left before saying anything. “Sasuke? You okay?” Shikamaru hesitated for a moment before putting a hand on the other boy's shoulder. “What's up?”
“Nothing.” he muttered and without another word walked out of the room, leaving the other two boys clueless.
Things fell back into an awkward routine, for with the new girl in the room it made things strained. She never spoke, never made a sound and hardly ever moved. Shizune or another nurse would come in to check her vitals, ensure she was receiving enough nutrition through her IV and kept her cleaned – to which the boys would be kicked out and told to go play 'or something'. It was troublesome to be kicked out of one's own room, but what was even more troublesome was Sasuke's reactions to her...and his own.
At first Shikamaru thought Sasuke's nightmares had stopped because nights had gone by without being awakened by screaming. It wasn't until one night when he woke up at around midnight because he had to go pee that he realized what was going on.
Since the Uchiha hadn't expected anyone to be awake, he had been caught red handed sitting at Hinata's bed, his gaze thoughtful until he noticed Shikamaru. Then his normally pale face turned red but he remained stubbornly silent, refusing to offer an explanation for his actions.
The other boy honestly didn't care since he had to pee, so quietly got up and went to do just that. It wasn't until he came out that instead of going back to bed he walked over to the girl's bed. Sasuke didn't say anything but both boys understood each other well enough, despite only knowing each other for a short while, that they really didn't need words between them.
He took in the young girl. Her eye was closed and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully for a change. Like Sasuke, she had her own share of nightmares, she was just quiet about them. Instead of screaming she whimpered softly, although tears would also slide down pale and slightly chubby cheeks. He wondered what the girl was like. Was she naturally quiet? Withdrawn? Shy? Had she been cheerful before the crash? She looked like the kind of girl who had smiled often.
“None of us...have anyone.”
Frowning slightly, Shikamaru turned to the solemn boy sitting in the chair and refusing to take his gaze from the girl. “My parents...your parents...her parents...it doesn't really matter how it happened once they're dead...I guess.”
This was probably the most open the Uchiha would become and for some reason, Shikamaru found himself wanting to take advantage. Why, he had no idea, only that the more open the Uchiha became, the more Shikamaru's feelings of dislike and annoyance turned to intrigue and something else he couldn't name. “I was three when my parents died,” he told the raven-haired boy. “So I don't remember much. Don't really know if I had any other family...if I did they either don't know I exist or don't care.” he shook his head. “I'm not...like you two.”
“It doesn't matter.” was the response. “You know, Chouji is leaving. I heard them talking about it. He got adopted by the Akimichi family. Some relatives or something.” onyx eyes slid over to take in Shikamaru's shocked expression. “I didn't think he told you.” he shook his head. “I overheard. Sorry.”
“It's...alright.” and it really was. Chouji would have a family, his own family, and he needed that. He would be happy, much happier than living in a dumpy orphanage. He was sad, because Chouji was his best and only friend; but it was inevitable. Kids weren't supposed to stay in the orphanages, that's not how it was supposed to work. “Thanks for telling me. I know he won't want to say anything, so I'll wait.”
He was being stared at again. “It doesn't bother you?” dark brows furrowed. “He's leaving. You'll be alone again. Aren't you...afraid?”
Aren't you afraid of being alone?
The answer didn't come right away, mostly because he didn't know how to answer. Was he afraid of being alone? He wasn't sure, he had never been alone before so it was hard for him to be afraid of it. Besides, he wouldn't really be alone. He was surrounded by other children. It wasn't what Sasuke meant at all and he knew it, so he continued to remain silent until he could think of something to say.
“Is that why you don't want to have any friends?” was what eventually came to his mind. “You don't want to lose them and be alone again?”
Silence. Then. “Yeah. But...Chouji was nice. He's not annoying like those girls and he isn't loud. He's not fake either.”
“That's why you started hanging out with us a bit?”
“I don't know why I started hanging out with you guys.” came the honest response. “I don't even know why I keep sitting here. It's not like she's ever going to snap out of it. I shouldn't care. It's just...when I sit here...she doesn't have nightmares so much.” he looked straight at Shikamaru “Just like how I calm down when you guys come around.”
“You knew we were doing that?” he had thought for sure the Uchiha had remained asleep.
A shrug “I guessed. Made sense when you guys started looking dead tired every morning.” his pause was tense. “Thanks. You didn't have to do that.”
Shikamaru let out a hard sigh “Yeah, it's been a pain in the ass, that's for sure. You're loud as hell.”
Flushing, the Uchiha bristled. “I didn't tell you to help me, you know!”
Inwardly smirking – this was a little too easy – he shrugged again. “Yeah, but it's even more troublesome to listen to it all night. Kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't.”
“I could...” he looked a mixture between embarrassed and infuriated. Why had he even bothered being nice to this guy? Chouji was much nicer. “I'll move then, if I'm so 'troublesome'.”
Shikamaru made a noise “But that's troublesome all on it's own. They'll probably make us help.” he yawned. “Too much work.”
“You know, you're really lazy.” the Uchiha snapped. “And you always complain about doing chores.”
“Yeah but...” he suddenly grinned. “I didn't kiss a guy.”
“That was an accident!” he practically shouted it before catching himself. They looked over at Chouji who merely rolled over and continued to snore loudly. Onyx eyes snapped back to brown. “He kissed me!” he hissed. “And I'm going to kill him for it. That blonde idiot...”
Both boys paused and turned at the small noise that had just come from the bed. Their eyes widened at what they saw.
Hinata was looking at them, her normally bland eye filled with warmth. That wasn't really what gave them pause, and it certainly wasn't what made their hearts skip a slight beat. A bandaged hand was poised delicately over her mouth and she was giggling softly. Her voice was high but not annoying and her cheeks, normally so pale, were flushed with red. She was not only responding but she was actually smiling and laughing.
They both had thought right then that she looked much better with a smile on her face. It also made them feel a little funny, because they had been the ones who had caused it. They were too young to understand what that emotion was exactly, only that for some reason, they wanted to continue to indulge in it.
“Hey.” Shikamaru greeted first, stepping up close to the bed. “You finally woke up?”
Her gaze glazed over for just a moment before she nodded. “Y-yes. I've um, been awake I just...” her cheeks began to brighten as she looked over at Sasuke. “T-thank you. For um...”
“Don't worry about it.” the Uchiha suddenly snapped, looking away. Although Hinata couldn't see it, Shikamaru caught the tell tale blush. “I just...kind of know how you feel. That's it. Don't get any ideas.”
She giggled again and she was given an exasperated grin in response. “That's Sasuke, by the way.” the other boy informed her. “I'm Shikamaru.”
Hinata waved shyly at them. “Hello. I'm Hinata...but I guess they told you that.” her hand moved back to her face, “Thank you so much I...was really lonely.”
The look on Sasuke's face spoke volumes and the Nara glanced at him briefly before looking back at Hinata. “Well don't worry, you won't be alone anymore.” he looked over at Sasuke “Right?”
He was given a 'what do you think you're doing?' look until he glanced back over at the girl with the bright lavender eye that was full of more emotion than the two boys had thought her capable of when she had first arrived. Swallowing thickly – Shikamaru had kind of set him up although he'd never admit that he didn't truly mind – he nodded. “Uh, yeah. You uh...got us. I guess.”
When she looked as if she was going to cry – which was about to switch the boys to freak out mode – Shikamaru was quick to act where Sasuke had frozen up. “You hungry? It's late but I know how to get to the kitchen and they always have stuff in the refrigerator there.”
Looking horrified, the girl shook her head. “N-no that's okay I'm fine. I don't want to i-impose. I'm...”
Silence lingered after her stomach growled loudly. The boys gave her a blank stare until she sat up and looked down at her lap sheepishly.
“I...um...guess I'm a little hungry...”
“Can you get up?” Sasuke hopped off the chair. He frowned and tilted his head. “Oh, you got that IV thing though...”
“It's okay, we'll bring you something.” Shikamaru shrugged. “What's your favorite food?”
“Um...cinnamon buns.”
The Uchiha made a face. “Ugh, are you serious? That's so...gross. Do you know how much sugar they put into those?”
Hinata looked at him as if he had just said something blasphemous “T-they're not gross!” she looked a little put out. “They're really, really yummy! E-especially when mama...” once again her eye glazed over and Sasuke, surprising even himself, reached over and grabbed her hand briefly.
He really does know how she feels. Shikamaru thought; feeling a little bad for both of them. They remembered their parents. They had loved and been loved by them. Then one day, they were cruelly taken away. Shikamaru couldn't relate to it but in sympathizing with Hinata he understood Sasuke just a little bit more.
“We'll look for it.” Sasuke said, his expression and voice bland. When he turned to leave, Shikamaru fell into step beside the other boy. It wasn't until they were out in the halls that he spoke up.
“Yo, Uchiha,”
“Yo, Nara.” came the clipped response but the other boy smirked. He caught on fast.
“Just wanted to answer your question. About being alone. It sucks that Chouji's leaving...but I don't think I'll be alone or lonely.”
When Sasuke responded, Shikamaru knew then that he had finally gotten through to the unapproachable Uchiha. Had succeeded where everyone else had failed; and he didn't even have to do anything. That was the best kind of success.
“Yeah. I don't...think I will either.”