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When Bethany went into the Circle, it took Garrett weeks before he could even smile again. His mother fretted, his uncle sneered, his friends all bought him drinks and tried to lift his spirits with jokes and stories and invitations to bed. Well, that last was just Isabella, but Hawke knew she meant it in a comforting way.
It wasn't until he was trying to get Aveline and her guardsman together that he realized what he missed most about his sister.
"I just - freeze up," Aveline lamented, and looked so miserable that Hawke couldn't help himself. He stepped forward, put one arm around her shoulders, and pulled her into a hug.
Their armor clanged and rattled, Aveline gave a surprised snort, and Hawke had to twist to prevent his greatsword's hilt from giving her a black eye, but when she sighed a bit and dropped her forehead against his pauldron, Hawke felt suddenly better than he had in years.
Bethany had always hugged him, every time he'd gone out, before they went to bed each night, whenever he came home with a new staff or a little something to patch up her armor.
Hugs. That was what was missing from his life.
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"Oh my goodness!" Merrill squeaked.
Hawke gave her an extra squeeze, and was rewarded by the feel of her thin arms wrapping round his waist and squeezing back. He let go and she stepped away, cheeks a bit flushed, a bright smile on her face.
"Just came by to see how you were!" he said.
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"I appreciate everything you've done, Hawke," said Sebastien. "I just wish I felt easier about it, in myself. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
Hawke paused by the Chantry doors, pulled Sebastien close, and gave him a manly pound around the shoulders. The other man returned the gesture freely and laughed a little.
"You'll figure it out," said Hawke.
"I hope you're right," said Sebastien, but at least he was smiling now.
**************
"Drink drink drink drink drink!" The crowd burst into cheers as Hawke and Varric slammed their mugs down in unison.
"Another!" Varric shouted. "I'll have you under the table yet, Hawke," he grinned.
Hawke threw an arm over Varric's shoulders and hauled him in. "Keep talking like that, and Bianca is going to get angry," he said.
"Give him a kiss while you're at it, Hawke!" Isabella shouted.
Hawke laughed, snugged Varric in tight, and then released him.
"Very handsy all of a sudden, Hawke," said Varric, straightening his coat. "It's a good look on you."
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Isabella climbed out of his bed and began to pull her clothing on. "I should go. That was an ... interesting diversion."
"Is that all I am to you?" Hawke asked. "Oh, my wounded heart!"
"We were using each other, sweet thing," Isabella laughed. "I was curious about you and now my curiosity is ... sated. Wait." She turned. "You're not thinking of bringing feelings into this, are you?"
Hawke got out of bed, ignoring her suddenly wary expression, and wrapped his arms around her. "You are my very dear friend, Isabella," he said. "I hope that's not too onerous a feeling for you to handle."
Isabella chuckled in his ear and cupped his ass. "I suppose not."
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"Trash, trash ... keep ... trash. Trash!"
Hawke stepped into the clinic in time to see Anders fling a set of worn, much-patched Tevinter robes into the corner, on top of a collection of other oddities and clothing. He was elbow-deep in a battered chest, going through the contents with furious, near-hysterical intensity.
"What are you doing?" said Hawke.
"We were wrong," said Anders, and Hawke could hear the tears threatening in his voice. "I'm a monster. Everything I ever do will be stained by this." He pushed himself to his feet, turned to Hawke. "If you hadn't been there, I would have killed that girl! I will not ..."
Hawke took two steps and threw his arms around Anders, crushing him to his chest. Anders gasped, struggled briefly, and then collapsed into Hawke, hands coming up to fist in the straps of his breastplate.
"You were out of control," said Hawke. "But even then you heard what I was saying. You knew in your heart that you had to stop."
"You have too much faith in me," Anders choked out.
"You have too little," said Hawke, cupping the back of his head.
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"Hawke," said Fenris.
"Yes?" Hawke said.
"Let go of me."
"Sorry."