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When Imai Lisa was pregnant, she made the joke that she’d get Sayo and Yukina to babysit her child once he was born.
Yukina had nodded nonchalantly, but they all knew the responsibility would lie on Sayo’s shoulders. Who would entrust Minato Yukina, of anybody on Earth, with a baby? It would be like sending your diaper-clad child to the war zone with nothing but a pacifier.
Sayo had mumbled the word, “Breeders”, at Lisa back then like the grumpy thirty-year-old lesbian friend she was. Of course, she would then take Lisa’s joke very seriously by watching fifty hours worth of baby-caring videos on YouTube. She then baby-proofed their house much to Yukina’s incomprehension. That was three months before the baby was due.
And then Lisa’s baby was born. They found out when an onslaught of baby photos emerged on the legacy Roselia LINE chat approximately twenty-four hours after the delivery. Apparently, Lisa had reacted poorly to the pain meds during labour – got too woozy to push – and they had to proceed to a C-section. Once she was awake from the procedure and had nothing better to do on her hospital bed, she, like all naïve first-time parents, started eagerly snapping photos of her bundle of joy and sending it to everybody she knew, completely unaware of the fact that most people wouldn’t be too excited to see an unsuspecting red and wrinkly glob on their cellphone screen, especially when receiving those images at 4 am in the morning.
Sayo had once again mumbled, “Breeders…” before muting Lisa and tossing her phone back on the nightstand. Yukina had slept through all the notification beeps. Sayo wished she could’ve slept that well, so she rolled over and took Yukina into her arms, hoping some of that “sleeping talent” could be transferred over to her.
The next while had been blissfully quiet. Lisa and her husband and her husband’s parents and her husband’s two sisters still living in the household soon found that they had taken home a ticking bomb. What was cuteness when all you wanted was sleep but couldn’t get it because the baby was screaming for the moon to fall from the dark, dark skies? Lisa was no longer sending any photos. She was completely unresponsive to their messages organizing a get-together. Rinko worried she had died. Well, she definitely had half her life taken away by the endless duties attending to her needy son. Change the diapers, feed him, rock his cradle so he’d go to sleep, keep rocking else he’d wake up, oops he woke up anyway…was it the diapers or was he hungry this time? Nope, he puked up milk. What to do, what to do, what to do? Lisa might have been a mom friend, but this was the first time she had ever been a real mom. As high-maintenance as Yukina was, at least she didn’t poop her pants.
Then, six months after the baby was born, they finally heard from Lisa again. It was a frantic phone call. “Sayo, can I drop off my son at your place for a couple hours? This is an emergency!”
“What?” – was Sayo’s confused reply. She didn’t even recognize Lisa’s voice and had to double check her phone screen to see who had called.
“Look, I don’t have much time to explain. Everybody has gone to work except my mother-in-law and me. I think she ate something bad and she’s having real bad stomach aches. I have to take her to the hospital. But then there’s my son. I can’t just leave him at home and I obviously can’t take care of him while I’m at the hospital. So please. Just…watch over him for a bit till my husband gets off from work. Yukina and you are the only ones who are free.”
Sayo wanted to correct Lisa that they were, in fact, not free. Just because they both worked from home didn’t mean they didn’t work. Money didn’t fall from the skies, even if Lisa kept having that misconception. Sayo’s IT job and Yukina being a rather popular composer did give them a fairly respectable income, but that income came with considerable responsibility and with it, long and often unpredictable working hours. Sayo had a video conference with her Singaporean collaborators in an hour. Yukina was…okay, she was sleeping at the moment because she had pulled an all-nighter making a deadline that she had already postponed for a week much to her commissioner’s frustration. But waking Yukina up now to get her to take care of Lisa’s baby spelled disaster. Lisa should know this.
Well, for Lisa to call despite the obvious knowledge probably meant it really was an emergency. “Fine.” Sayo sighed. “We’ll try our best. But we’re only doing this once.”
“Yeah, I know. Not that I want to leave my little Kyou in Yukina’s hands if I can help it. I’m not stupid.”
And so, half an hour later, Lisa’s car pulled into the driveway. She had dropped off her mother-in-law at the hospital first before coming over – now she had to rush back to make sure she was doing okay while waiting to be seen by a doctor at the ER.
“Everything is right here,” Lisa pulled out a sizeable box from her trunk and handed it to Sayo. It was heavy. “Diapers, baby food, extra change of clothes...”
“Yes, yes, I’ll figure it out. Aren’t you in a hurry?”
“Totally. But I have to make sure you know what you’re doing because, like…my little Kyou is sort of a handful, and you don’t have any experience with babies.”
“I have experience with Yukina.”
Lisa paused for a second, then nodded. “Good point. I’ll leave it to you then. Thanks!”
Lisa placed the car seat containing her son, Kyou, on Sayo’s sofa and then ran back outside to her car. In a minute she was gone. Sayo put down the baby supplies box and took a seat beside Kyou. Err…she supposed she should start by introducing herself to him?
Sayo peeked under the blanket shielding Kyou from the morning sunshine. “Um…hi? I am Sayo,” she whispered. Kyou did not answer. He was sleeping peacefully. How cute…
Or not. Just when Sayo was about to lower the thin blanket again, Kyou’s eyes opened and out came an earth-shattering cry. He was wailing! His arms were waving around. He grabbed a fistful of the blanket, tore it from the car seat, and literally tossed it into Sayo’s face.
“Don’t cry. It is okay. I am your mother’s friend. I will take care of you.”
The explanation was drowned out by Kyou’s screams. Sayo tried cooing at him while rocking the car seat. Did not help. She picked him up into her arms, surprised by how heavy he was but luckily she managed to hold him tight due to the strength she had built from her archery hobby. He didn’t feel as secure as he ought to though, his cries now shrill as a knife cutting straight into Sayo’s eardrums. Oh gosh, what did he want? Lisa had said that he was fed and his diapers were clean and he should’ve been in a napping mood.
“…What’s going on?” A tired voice sounded from behind Sayo. She turned to see Yukina had awaken from the noise – she was still in her pajamas, a hand rubbing over her right eye in a display of sleepiness. Crap. Baby #2 was here. Or maybe the “cat” was a more accurate description. Yukina did know how to use the litter box…err…toilet.
“This is Kyou. Kyou, this is Yukina.”
Yukina narrowed her eyes and scrutinized the kid as though trying to figure out where Sayo had stolen him from.
“He is obviously Imai-san…” Remembering that wasn’t even the culprit’s surname anymore after her marriage, Sayo corrected, “Lisa’s son.”
“Oh.” The description did not seem to elicit any sympathy from Yukina. She only took a step forward, glared some more at Kyou, then when he met her eyes she stepped back cautiously, her head lowered in a frown. Kyou, on the other hand, seemed to have a completely opposite impression of Yukina. He stopped crying, so abruptly it sounded almost like he had choked on his own spit. His eyes were wide and completely fixed on Yukina. He reached a little hand out to her.
“Seems like he likes you,” Sayo said. Yukina did not look convinced, though she did reluctantly take a step forward towards the baby again. The moment she came within reach, Kyou launched his hand at Yukina’s hair. He grabbed a fistful. Yukina’s mouth opened slightly now, bearing some teeth. Kyou giggled, his other hand slapped onto Yukina’s forehead and latched onto her silver bangs.
If Yukina were really a cat, she’d be hissing. But she wasn’t. She just raised a closed hand…
“No, Yukina!” Sayo reprimanded.
Yukina stopped in her tracks and turned to stare at Sayo. “I was not intending to paw him.”
That did not sound convincing at all. And did she just say “paw”?
Sayo could see her collaborator had messaged her on her laptop. The video conference was starting and she needed to get to work. “Please, Yukina, take care of him for a bit. I need to work.”
“Okay.” – she sounded more like she was complaining “why me?” though…
But Sayo had no choice. She left them for her office, Kyou still pulling Yukina down to his level by yanking at her hair. At least he wasn’t crying anymore. And so, Sayo started the video conference. Her mind wasn’t really on it though, concerning noises sounding from the living room. She was pretty sure the “tap tap tap tap” was Yukina pawing Kyou’s head to get him to let go of her hair. Damn, Yukina! Didn’t you say you wouldn’t do it? What a liar cat…human! At least she didn’t paw hard, as Sayo could hear Kyou’s giggles soon after. Then he was babbling. Sayo couldn’t make out what he was saying – only that Yukina was not responding at all. Three seconds later, Yukina’s head poked out from the doorway of Sayo’s office. She looked exasperated. No, Sayo didn’t have time to help her now. She was too busy explaining precisely why one of the programmers on their team was a complete fool. Soon after, Kyou’s cries could be heard from the living room, and Yukina paddled slowly back there, obviously unwilling. The cries stopped. More tapping noises could be heard. Sayo could just imagine what was going on out there, Kyou playing with the cat, the cat getting angry and pawing his head, he would laugh it off and insist on pissing the cat off. Okay, Yukina, not a cat but close enough.
This cycle of Yukina escaping to Sayo’s office, then returning at Kyou’s high-pitched beckoning, repeated itself a couple times before Kyou’s crying reached a climax and Yukina’s return to the living room had not calmed him at all. There was probably a real problem here, one that Yukina could not handle. Sayo hastily ended the conference call to go see what was wrong. She was met with a scene of absolute chaos.
“Waaaaaaaaaaahhh.”
“Louder.”
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”
“LOUDER!!!”
“Why are you having a screaming contest with the baby, Yukina?” Sayo pulled Yukina back and demanded an answer.
Yukina looked at Sayo with a straight face. “He needs better vocal training.”
“No! He is not going to sing ‘you’re my everything’!”
Oh please, why was Yukina giving Sayo a disappointed face? The kid was six months old. He wasn’t ready to cover a Roselia cover song!
After separating Yukina from the baby, Sayo could see the source of Kyou’s problem. He had wet himself. “Yukina, can you pass me a clean diaper?” she said while clumsily placing the baby down on a towel. “Should be in the big box over there.”
Yukina didn’t answer, clearly still displeased by Sayo’s earlier scolding, though she did do what she was told. While she fumbled with the contents in the box, Sayo pulled down the old diaper.
Spray.
A fountain of urine burst out from between Kyou’s little legs and graced Sayo’s face with a rain of unwanted gold. Yukina looked on in horror, a face shield she found from the box in hand.
“I was about to ask if you needed this,” she said.
Sayo glared at her. “Should have asked a minute ago.”
“Right.”
“Would you please pass me the box of tissues instead, Minato-san!?”
Reverting back to calling her wife by surname and polite suffix was definitely a sign of Sayo’s anger.
Sayo wiped her face dry with the tissues for some temporary relief so she could finish cleaning Kyou up. Once Kyou was comfy and finally fell asleep, she left Yukina strict directions not to “paw” him again before leaving to take a shower to get the remaining stench out of her hair. Yukina could hear Sayo rip off her clothes and toss them unnecessarily hard onto the bathroom floor even from where she was in the living room. And Sayo might’ve really loudly grumbled, “That’s why I hate penises!”
Surprisingly, Sayo took a long shower and bath with no more interruptions. She returned to the living room to find Yukina curled up by the baby, asleep, one of her fingers in Kyou’s grasp. It was a heartwarming sight. She sneaked up upon them to snap a photo. This was going to be her wallpaper for the next while.
The hours ticked by. When Kyou awoke again, it was late afternoon. He was hungry. Having seemingly grown fond of the baby, Yukina offered to help feed him the baby food. She didn’t end up as much help, shoving spoonful after spoonful at Kyou at such speed that he was swallowing maybe half of it and spitting the other half onto his onesie. Sayo was busier cleaning up the mess while simultaneously reminding Yukina to slow down. Thankfully, Lisa had packed more changes of clothes. After the messy meal that had gotten everywhere, including on Yukina herself, Sayo changed Kyou into a fresh set of garments to get him ready to be handed over to his daddy.
At least Kyou’s daddy came on-time. Sayo had been expecting the worst, given Japan’s culture of working overtime. He bowed far too many times in gratitude before setting Kyou into the backseat and driving him home. Yukina watched them go. While Sayo waved them goodbye, Yukina just stared. She didn’t look too pleased.
“Sayo.”
“What is it, Yukina?”
“The iPSC clinic Shirasagi-san went to was really affordable, she said.”
Sayo did not like where this conversation was going.
“We are not having a baby,” Sayo shut Yukina down bluntly. She did not know where Yukina’s change of heart about babies came from, but unless she was going to be the one to take care of soiled diapers and endless nights of mysterious crying, Sayo wasn’t going to indulge Yukina’s dreams anytime soon.
Yukina clearly disagreed with Sayo’s decision. She looked Sayo with an unblinking gaze. They had a staring contest, one that Yukina might’ve thought if she won, she’d get her way. Sayo did blink first, but all that came out of her mouth immediately after was a stern “no”.