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“You what!?”
“I am meeting Sayo at the IKEA.”
To say Lisa was bewildered would be an understatement. Since Lisa and Tsugumi started dating, Lisa had felt a bit bad ditching her childhood friend every weekend, not that Yukina would complain. She decided to play matchmaker and introduce Yukina to a new friend who might, if everything went according to plan, become her girlfriend. She enlisted Tsugumi’s help to set Yukina up with a regular at the Hazawa Café – Hikawa Sayo, who also happened to be the twin sister of Yukina and Lisa’s schoolmate back in high school. Lisa had some reservations at first. If Sayo were anything like her twin, there was no way she’d get along with Yukina. But Tsugumi seemed confident that wasn’t the case, so Lisa reluctantly agreed to proceed.
Getting Yukina onboard had been a pain in the ass, and that seemed to be the case on the other end with Tsugumi and Sayo too. Yukina was not the most…social person. Scrap that. Yukina was about as antisocial as anyone could get without being a violent criminal. She scorned interpersonal interactions as a distraction to her disciplined routine of honing her musical skills and would not hesitate to point that out in the bluntest language possible. If Yukina had a less polite upbringing, she would call friendships a “fucking nuisance”. As it stood, she called them…well…a “nuisance”. Hey, she didn’t use a profanity. That should count as something! Anyway, Lisa had to repeatedly nag Yukina for two weeks straight before the latter gave in, probably because being next-door neighbours, there was no way for her to escape Lisa’s torment. Apparently, Tsugumi had bribed Sayo with free coffee, which to be fair, was a weapon of mass destruction on a broke college student surviving off caffeine.
As reluctant as Yukina and Sayo had been when they first got unwittingly shoved into the same LINE chat, they seemed to hit it off just fine after a while. From what she had heard from Tsugumi, Lisa figured that Sayo and Yukina would have quite some similarities to bond over. Both were serious musicians and were obsessed with small, furry animals, dogs in Sayo’s case and cats in Yukina’s. It wasn’t a complete surprise a month into their chat that they would agree to meet up. What baffled Lisa was their decision regarding the location of their first date.
“Just…why IKEA? You aren’t married.”
Yukina looked confused at Lisa’s statement. “What does IKEA have to do with marriage?”
Lisa held a hand to her forehead. This was common sense. But Yukina being Yukina, her common sense was how to arrange five instrumental lines to play in consonance, not anything actually common to the rest of society. “Look,” she started explaining, “people go to IKEA to pick up bed sheets.”
“And that is what I am planning on doing, Lisa, after you spilled orange soda all over my old set last time you came by.”
Lisa might’ve sighed really long and hard. “If you’re single, you pick up bed sheets by yourself. Or with your parents or…I don’t know…me. Then again, I might as well be your mom.”
“Did you just completely dismiss the fact that you were the one who ruined my bed sheets?”
“I’m sorry for your bed sheets. I sincerely apologize!” Lisa’s apology might not be so sincere, her half bow looked comical. “I’m just asking – why are you towing Sayo along to IKEA for this?”
“I am not towing her along. She also needs to pick up microwavable bowls. They are on-sale.”
Lisa wanted to smack her head onto the table in front of her. She ended up refraining. She would end up with a lot of bruises if she were to be exasperated with Yukina’s every life decision. And who was she to decide that an IKEA trip would be the most boring date imaginable? Maybe they’d find the perfect…err…microwavable bowl for each other!
“Here’s to hope you two would have the most thrilling time of your lives bonding over Swedish furniture.” Lisa clinked her glass of cold barley tea against Yukina’s and downed it with a gulp.
……………
“Lisa-senpai, so…why are we at an IKEA?”
Tsugumi looked a little uncomfortable as Lisa pulled her by the hand to hide behind a corner. Other customers passing by were staring, but they might as well be invisible to Lisa. She put a finger to her lips. Completely unnecessary, as Tsugumi’s chuckles were awkwardly soft. Lisa then pointed the finger in another direction; Tsugumi’s gaze followed it around the corner.
“Yukina-senpai and…Sayo-san?”
“Shhhhhhh!” Lisa made a very exaggerated shushing sound. “They will hear us!”
“I’m pretty sure it’s fine.”
It was a Sunday at their local IKEA, meaning it was crowded, and with weird lamps and colourful chairs on display, it wasn’t as though Tsugumi would be the first thing Yukina and Sayo would notice even if they were trying, which they obviously were not. Sayo had a couple plain-looking bowls in hand while following behind Yukina who was staring at the bed in the showroom display. Lisa gestured to Tsugumi like a commander signalling a raid. It became clear that “mother hen” Lisa had intended to spend the day spying on her baby chick…Yukina. Tsugumi could only follow Lisa’s lead, creeping closer so they could conceal themselves behind a cabinet in the showroom, now within earshot of Yukina and Sayo’s conversation.
“Are these the bedsheets you are looking for, Minato-san?”
“The red is too bright.”
“I must agree. The overall design of this showroom is a bit…unruly. The ceiling light is simply distracting. Are those supposed to be flowers?”
Lisa was rolling her eyes at the conversation they eavesdropped on. She whispered to Tsugumi, “I liked the lamp!”
Tsugumi gave a weak smile. “Well…I do find it pretty.”
“Right? Those two have no taste.”
“I suppose Sayo-san is thinking in more practical terms? The lamp might be difficult to dust.”
Lisa looked adoringly at her girlfriend. “Tsugu, you are just too diligent.”
As they were talking, they hadn’t paid attention to the fact that Yukina had been edging closer to where they were. By the time Lisa noticed, Yukina was only a few steps away. The shock was so much Lisa nearly jumped. Tsugumi clumsily caught her and held her upright, though not without making some noise as she accidentally kicked the back of the cabinet. They stayed very still for a moment, only daring to peek out after a couple seconds. To their surprise, Yukina didn’t seem to have spotted them at all, her eyes trained intently on something displayed on the other side of the cabinet.
Sayo came to stand by Yukina. “Are you looking at the cat plushie?”
While Yukina’s face blushed in embarrassment, Sayo smiled knowingly and brought the plushie down from its place high on the shelf and handed it to Yukina.
“It is not a cat.”
“Not a cat?”
“Not a cat.” Yukina emphasized, as though that would rationalize the obvious excitement with which she reached for the plushie and proceeded to bring it very close to her now softly smiling face. “It’s…it’s just a…a…lilleplutt.”
“Lilleplutt?”
“It is Swedish.”
Tsugumi could see Lisa’s second eyeroll in two minutes at Yukina’s explanation. Without her even saying it aloud, Tsugumi knew Lisa’s head was brewing a retort along the lines of, “Duh, it’s IKEA.”
Sayo was much more sympathetic. She took the explanation with grace. “Would Minato-san like to buy this lilleplutt then?”
“Of…Of course…not.” Yukina tried to voice a rebuttal but it trailed off in disappointment. Her face was burning even redder now. “I just…err…couldn’t stand it being misplaced on this shelf. Looked too…disorderly. As a responsible customer, I would like to bring it back where the other…lilleplutts are located.”
And so, Yukina had completely forgotten her hunt for bedsheets and ended up wandering the store aimlessly with Sayo, putting the plush cat in random places then staring at it like an idiot for minutes before proceeding to the next showroom to do the same. Lisa yawned, wondering how Sayo could look so engaged at watching Yukina be a complete idiot. They were now in the appliances section. Yukina had opened the dryer door and plopped the cat plush within it, its squishy front paws hung stupidly out the dryer. If Sayo hadn’t been there, Lisa would’ve bet Yukina would be snapping photos on her camera phone.
“I beg your pardon if I appear ignorant, but a dryer does not seem to me to be the correct place to put this lilleplutt toy?” Sayo asked.
“It is not.” Came Yukina’s calm reply.
“Then may I ask the reason why you have placed it here?”
“Abstract art. Inspiration for my music.”
“Oh.”
“The dryer may seem a large place to the lilleplutt, but as it stares into the wide world outside it, it cannot help but be humbled. However, one must always aim for greater heights. Humility is a virtue, giving up is a sin. Recognizing our deficiencies is the first step to overcoming them.”
Sayo looked especially impressed. She kneeled down to join Yukina in admiring the cat plush sticking its droopy-eyed face out the dryer door. Lisa kneaded the bridge of her nose to express her incredulity beyond the likes of a simple eyeroll.
After Sayo and Yukina finally left the scene with the cat plush in hand once more, Lisa had at long last found an opportunity to offer her commentary.
“This is the dictionary definition of an idiot couple, right?”
Tsugumi fought her own laughter. She tried to be nice. “But they seem happy together?”
“My goodness, they are destined for each other. A match made only in the highest of the seven heavens!”
Eventually, Yukina and Sayo made it to the children’s section, marked by a bunch of customers carrying around the internet-famous IKEA shark, Blåhaj. It really was pretty gigantic. Most young kids couldn’t get a good grasp around it, dropping it every three steps then proceeding to cry. Many of the customers stuffing their carts with Blåhaj were young adults, some busily propping the oversized plush up against nearby furniture and taking pictures – Twitter memes in the making. Yukina seemed disinterested though. She shot for the basket of cat plushies and, after a very, very lengthy deliberation, set hers atop the pile. It prompted a little girl to walk up to her with sympathetic eyes. “Oneechan, would you like ice cream?” Lisa nearly gave Tsugumi and herself away when she tried so hard to restrain from laughing that she choked on her own spit!
Yukina just stood there, frozen in her spot, looking very awkward. Lisa would learn from Tsugumi later that Sayo usually appeared cold and strict – believable given the behaviour Lisa had witnessed thus far – but at this moment Sayo bent down to the little girl’s level and offered a smile, if not one that was slightly creepy due to its stiffness. She thanked the girl’s offer to Yukina, politely rejecting it in Yukina’s stead, then sent the girl away with a coupon to their local fast food joint. Sayo was into fast food? Was she addicted to fries the way Hina was? Maybe, but according to Tsugumi, Sayo was definitely still hiding her “food orientation” in the closet.
“Anyway, Minato-san…” Sayo turned back to Yukina, “I noticed there is a charity campaign going on this month. For every plushie purchase, part of the proceeds would go to UNICEF. A good cause, I reckon. I shall buy a plushie to show my support.”
“Ah,” Yukina answered dumbly. Sayo picked up the lilleplutt that had followed them this whole afternoon from the place it was left in the basket and returned it to Yukina’s arms.
“I think this lilleplutt would make a very inspirational abstract art display in Minato-san’s home. Don’t you agree?”
Yukina blushed, probably realizing Sayo was making up excuses to gift her the cat plush. Watching this scene made Lisa caught between the urge to laugh or cry. She ended up dabbing the corner of her eyes with a handkerchief, wiping the tears that…likely formed minutes ago when she struggled to mute her own chuckles.
“Tsugu…I think my daughter is finally on her path to happiness,” Lisa muttered.
Tsugumi wondered whether to remind Lisa that her surname was not Minato. She ended up conceding.
“Congratulations, Lisa-senpai.”