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Kōga never had the means or the time to think about romance.
Try and live on a semi-deserted island, with Shaina for a teacher, a bald middle-age Japanese man whose role in the family would still be hard to define up to this day, and an adoptive mother who turned out to be a goddess. Not that he had never read a book or watched a movie, of course, but that only helped to some extent. Truth is, Kōga never had a chance to think about people, in general. He never had to make a first impression on anyone - no, scratch that, he never experienced the very notion of ‘first impression’ at all. There was no recrimination there, he loved his bizarre mismatched family to bits.
But none of that affection was being of any assistance when he and Sōma bumped into each other. In spite of all that had been happening, Kōga could definitely spare a few moments to stop and consider this was the first human being he had voluntarily let into his life. Excitement sparked up inside him as they set camp in the woods to rest: his first friend. Sōma was going to be his first friend. Did first friends often turn out to be best friends, on the long run? He believed so, at least in fiction. Sometimes, best friends became boyfriends and husbands and ok, that escalated quickly. And then again, how could it not escalate? Kōga did not want to rush things, he barely knew what ‘things’ were, but what if Sōma, his first person, was also going to be the last? Maybe Kōga wasn’t likeable and he had no idea how to be, after all, because nobody has ever had to like or dislike him. What if he wasn’t going to make any more friends, like, ever?
Still escalating, Kōga, his inner voice scolded him.
He glanced at his new friend and let out a sigh of relief. Well, the idea of Sōma taking over all the present and future significant roles in his life didn’t bother him too much. After all, the other boy was proving to be a valuable companion on the battlefield, and something about his cheerful nature naturally resonated with Kōga.
« Kōga -kun? »
« Uh? »
« You’re staring. »
« Am I? »
Here came the ultimate proof that Kōga didn’t know much about human interaction, because he exepected Sōma to be annoyed. Instead, the boy leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
« Don’t worry, you’re not that bad youself. »
There must have been a joke in there somewhere, or so Kōga thought, because Sōma’s smile was especially cheerful. Joke or not, Sōma didn’t elaborate on that and Kōga was not sure what to ask. They fell asleep in a comfortable silence.
Morning came and so did the memory of the kiss. Kōga touched his lips with his fingertips, but only when Sōma couldn’t see him. The other boy had been raised among people, probably dozens of them, so he definitely knew how to handle this kissing-business. When nothing else happened and the kiss was never mentioned again, Kōga made peace with the fact this was probably how things went, in the real world. Maybe you kiss your cute new friends in certain occasions, like, an incoming martian invasion and such, and he should be grateful to have learned his first lesson on real-life friendship. For some reason, that was harder than he expected.
The first time Kōga and Ryūhō met, it was nothing short of a galactic explosion. At least, that was how it felt to cross cosmos with the Dragon Saint. On a pure physical level – the down-to-Earth side of it he discussed with Yuna afterwards – it was fireworks and butterflies and every single stupid thing written in books. Fighting Ryūhō left him with more energy than when they started, but it had little to do with his powers. Sure, Ryūhō’s cosmo was breathtaking, and yet, it wasn’t the thing keeping him awake at night, in spite of the exhausting day.
Kōga was pacing down an empty corridor, mumbling and brooding over their fight, when he bumped into the exact same person he was obsessing over. Ryūhō looked surprised for about two second, before that beautiful smile of his appeared, making Kōga forget all about his bad mood.
« Can’t sleep, Kōga-kun? »
« Nah. » he scratched the back of his head, blushing for reasons beyond his own knowledge. « You, too? »
« Mh-mh. Too much adrenaline. »
Kōga was about to say something about his health, when Ryūhō took a step closer.
« I can’t get over how well you fought. »
« You’re the one who won. »
« But winning is more fun when you’re opponent has such a wonderful cosmo. »
Kōga got momentarily lost in the way his lips were forming two perfectly symmetrical dimples when he smiled or in the way his body was leaning closer and closer with every word. What is happening? He took a step back and hit the wall, Ryūhō’s smile only growing at his clumsiness. He was toying with a lock of hair and, at this distance (or lack of thereof), Kōga could see exactly how soft they must feel. Touching Ryūhō’s hair suddenly became his only goal in life. And he did so, half convinced this wasn’t happening anyway, half curious to see how Ryūhō would have reacted in the unlikely event this was real.
Ryūhō looked at him the way predators look at an especially tasty prey they are going to savour, then stepped on his tiptoes and kissed him. Being shorter was nothing but an advantage and, just like in battle, Ryūhō took charge effortlessly. He bit at Kōga’s lower lip, grinning in delight when the other boy moaned, and used both hands to grab Kōga’s shirt and pull him closer, pressing their bodies together. Kōga prayed nothing was going to explode and that the warmth in his stomach was a purely hormonal reaction and there was nothing cosmo-related to it, because this was nothing short of of two galactic explosions.
He made it back to his bedroom just before Sōma woke up, brain-dead from his first make-out session.
« Am I dying? » he mumbled, half to himself, half to poor Yuna « I think I am dying. »
« Tell me again, where did you grow up? »
The sarcasm in her voice was familiar enough (again, raised by Shaina) to make Kōga smile a little. He wondered if his family would mock him just the same.
« Kōga, for the love of Athena: you just met a hot guy, nobody ever died of that. » she wrinkled her nose « Well, sort of. Let’s keep things simple. »
« But- » Kōga pouted.
Gods, sometimes coming up with the right questions was much more frustrating that trying to figure out the answers by himself. But I have met him for two seconds. This friendship business was getting out of hand. He had barely had time to adjust to his growing affection for Sōma, a bit unsettling at first, but manageable, when Ryūhō showed up. In a heartbeat, the same amount of feelings and questions (and panic) he had carefully grown over the days spent with Sōma had been shoved into his face by Ryūhō’s mere presence.
« -I barely know him! »
« You know when you feel someone’s cosmo and you go like ‘wow, that’s freaking amazing’ even if you have never fought them in a real battle? But you just feel the buzz? »
« Uhm, yes. »
« That happens with attraction. You see a person and you go like ‘wow’. »
« So, if there’s a big ‘wow’ it means you’re attracted to them. But what if there’s like...less of a big ‘wow’ and more of a series of smaller but constant ‘wow-ish’? »
Yuna raised an eyebrow.
« I think you don’t do well with metaphores. »
Kōga made his best puppy eyes.
« Fine. » Yuna rolled her eyes. « Okay, listen. We do not have written rules for this. It’s easier than you think, but also way more complex. The best you can do is to tell people how you feel and figure it out together. »
« Woah. Do people really do that? »
« Nah, never. They hide their feelings, assume things and make a mess. So you’re good. You’re just like the majority of us. »
He needed more friends like Yuna, that was for sure.
« Yuna, why do you think it’s so easy for us to talk about this stuff? Like, I had no trouble becoming your friend. »
« Ok, let’s start again. From the basics. Have you ever heard of boobs? »
In spite of the fog surrounding his brain, there were a few things he was very much sure of, things that were making it easier to feel at home. He loved Yuna’s annoyed eye-rolling and how she had to make a point pretending to be exasperated by his relational incompetence, even though she never lost her patience or refused to hear him out. He loved when Ryūhō dragged him into an empty corridor and shoved him against a wall, and Kōga could feel just how strong the smaller boy was.
And he loved training with Sōma.
Even when distracted by his own thoughts, even when half-asleep because he had spent good part of the night sucking bruises on Ryūhō’s neck (and he did need some sleep to function, not like Mr-I-Always-Look-Perfect), sharing a battlefield with Sōma was just as easy as breathing. Kōga had only read or dreamed about this kind of connection – two kindred spirit moving as one.
Sort of.
Sometimes, one spirit got distracted and punched in the face. He was still massaging his own nose, when Sōma kneeled on the ground next to him.
« Are you slow or are you falling in love with me? » he teased, before leaning closer and kissing him.
Kōga froze.
He knew a little more about kissing, now, to determine this wasn’t like their first. Sōma was really going for it this time, like really. And every atom in Kōga’s body felt that very same enthusiasm, a loud ‘yes please’ resonating bone-deep in his body. And yet.
Ryūhō.
Sōma didn’t know about Ryūhō. Actually, Ryūhō didn’t know about Sōma either. Kōga’s brain was quickly swallowed by a whirlpool of terror and regrets – gods, so many regrets. Why did he just go and assume things instead of asking when he knew none of this was familiar to him?
Oh, dear Athena above, was this cheating?
Did he somehow manage to cheat on both his boyfriends while having none?
« Uhm, Kōga, are you okay? »
Kōga blinked and he suddenly remembered he was meant to return the kiss.
« I am sorry- » he managed, amid his state of panic.
« Oh. » it was all Sōma said, and then « Oh. »
No no no, that sounded like the wrong kind of ‘oh’.
« It’s okay. I shouldn’t have assumed things. »
You’re telling me, Kōga nearly screamed. Instead, he gaped at his friend for a few seconds and then just bolted.
Kōga might not have wanted to talk to his friends ever again, but his friends did talk to each other. He was sure of it when he saw a united front marching down to his spot in the training arena: Yuna, still not sure how this had become her life, a very unhappy-looking Sōma, and Ryūhō, leading the expedition.
Apparently, Kōga was getting faster by the day.
It turned out, Kōga was a quick learner, especially when it came to the ugly side of relationships. He mastered fear and self-loathe in the space of a couple of days, spent avoiding both his friends – if he could still call either of them ‘friend’ – and also Yuna, whose emotional intelligence went against all his plans of self-sabotage.
Sōma had long stopped fighting Kōga’s new vocation, while Ryūhō, who would have been way faster and smarter than Kōga in any other circumstance, had found himself incapable of keeping up with Kōga’s scheme. Perhaps, Kōga had just found his speciality – failure – or desperation was as strong as any other element used by the young Saints, but he reached his ninth day of complete isolation without having to throw himself out of a window to escape from Ryūhō.
He also got into the habit of going to bed very late, hoping Sōma would be asleep. They both knew it was a lie, Sōma was either awake or he woke up when Kōga came back, but he used the advantage of being on the upper bunk to pretend he wasn’t. That was more like it: Kōga came back late to give Sōma enough of a good excuse to pretent to be asleep. Yay. More points for Kōga entering the real world.
Kōga was just starting to wonder how long they could all keep this up when, upon entering his own room earlier than usual, he found it, well, crowded.
The first person he recognized was (unsurprisingly) Sōma, on the bottom bunk, crying so hard his body was shaking. The sight of it was enough to make Kōga’s heart clench, but he didn’t have time to focus on that image because there was somebody else next to him. Ryūhō had an arm around Sōma’s shoulders and he was whispering, mouth close to the other boy’s face. So close, in fact, that it took nothing to plant a gentle kiss on Sōma’s lips. The result was impressive: Sōma brightened up in a second, returning the gesture with another kiss, his thumb caressing Ryūhō’s cheek; while Kōga, hand on the doorknob and half a feet inside the room, simply shattered.
There was no other word for it.
He got scared for a second as his vision blurred, then he realised he was crying. Pain and confusion hit him like a train and he sobbed out loud, incapable of understanding what was happening.
« Kōga! »
Ryūhō’s voice sounded ...angry? Kōga was fairly sure this was the part of the movie (or book or whatever) where people started making excuses, and they all tried to explain things that had never made sense in the first place. But no, obviously not Ryūhō. He covered the space between them in a few, long strides. Kōga didn’t know what to expect; he definitely di not expect to be squeezed into the tightest hug Ryūhō could master.
« Do you know how fucking worried we were? You idiot. »
Ryūhō was crying, too, he could hear it in his voice. Kōga wanted to comfort him more than he had ever wanted anything – actually, he wanted to comfort both of them, because this was all his fault. He had no clue how, though. He was still amazed they could all coexist in the same room without said room exploding.
Once again, it was up to Ryūhō to make a move. He took Kōga by the hand and pulled him towards the bed. Sōma looked a bit in shock, and yet, when they were only a few steps apart, Kōga snapped out of his trance and threw himself at the other boy.
« I am so sorry! » Kōga murmured, face hiding in the crook of Sōma’s neck.
« Me, too. » Sōma was crying again, and yet his voice sounded relived as he held Kōga tight.
Ryūhō climbed on the bed and hugged them from behind, kissing the top of both their heads and then pressing his cheek to rest against them.
« My idiots. » he sighed, happily.
Kōga woke up in a lovely mess of tangled limbs. Ryūhō was practically curled up on his chest, but he had one arm reaching out for Sōma. Sleeping with their fingers intertwined seemed a bit impractical to him, but then again, who was Kōga to judge? They looked perfectly happy. Sōma’s position was the most questionable: somehow, in spite of being (albeit slightly) taller than Kōga, his head was resting under Kōga’s chin, bringing him close enough to envelop both his boyfriends in a tight embrace.
Kōga gave out a little blast of cosmo, only to feel two other cosmos stirring, both perfectly resonating with his, before falling back into a state a of blissful morning coma.