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"Are you sure you don't need help clearing up dinner?" Leila said guiltily, watching her grandpa carry the empty plates over to the sink.
"It keeps Grandpa's physique going, don't worry about it," Lorelai said airily. "Want a Pop Tart before you go?"
"Yes please," Leila said, smiling as her grandma practically jumped out of her chair to go to the snack cupboard.
"That stuff is cardboard. Pure cardboard," Luke said in his usual grumpy way from the sink. "It astounds me none of you are the size of a house with the amount of junk you shove down your throats."
"Like you do much to stop it, Gramps!"
Luke turned round to face his granddaughter, rolling his eyes. "Leila, I learned long ago that trying to stop your mother and grandmother doing anything is completely impossible. I just like to remind them occasionally of the damage they're doing to their internal organs."
Lorelai sat back down, handing Leila a Strawberry Pop Tart and a napkin full of the remaining box. "Excuse me, but Rory grew in my womb to a diet of Pop Tarts and caffeine... as did Leila..."
"... and Matt, Kit, and Becca," Leila pointed out, through a mouthful of Pop Tart. "And we all turned out OK! Except I think Mom dropped the coffee for the four of us."
Lorelai pointed at the napkin full of Pop Tarts. "I know your siblings will be mad if you got Pop Tarts from Grandma without you bringing back some for them, so say this is an... early Christmas treat!"
"You're seeing them in two days."
"I know - but you're gone for the next week!" Lorelai said sorrowfully, wrapping an arm around her granddaughter and twisting a lock of her long blonde hair round her finger. "And without the eldest sister, all falls to chaos!"
"Lorelai, they're fourteen, twelve, and ten, they're old enough to not be nannied by Leila," Luke said exasperatedly.
"All my grandchildren are in double figures of age now... I'm getting old..."
"Yeah, you are," Leila said bluntly.
"Excuse me young lady, you don't just say your grandmother is getting old!"
"You said it first!"
Luke was finished at the sink and sat back down at the kitchen table, batting away the Pop Tart Lorelai was trying to force on him. "How's school going anyway, kid?"
Lorelai audibly groaned. "Luke, we almost made it through an entire dinner without asking her mundane filler questions!"
"Excuse me for taking an interest in my granddaughter's education!"
"School's fine, it's just turning into 'College Preparation 101' is all," Leila grinned, leaning back in her chair. "NYU's still top of my list; the teachers keep talking to me about applying to Princeton, and I know that... people... want me to apply for Yale, but..." she trailed off into silence, and saw her grandparents give each other knowing looks.
"How are you feeling about tomorrow hon?" Lorelai asked quietly.
Leila shrugged. "I go to London once a year. It's cool I guess and... I know Mom's right, that I'll regret it when I'm older if I didn't know him at all, so I know it's good but..."
"London at Christmas though, that'll be fun," Luke said positively.
"I'm just not a Huntzberger," Leila said after a beat of silence. She threw her hair back over her shoulder in a way reminiscent of her grandmother when she was making a point. "And I'm tired of trying to pretend I am... and I know the next week'll be fun, and it'll be good to see him, he's always kind to me, but I'll get lectured about Yale again, and..."
"I know that look," Luke said, frowning slightly. "You're doing what your mom and grandmother are really good at. Talking to hide you're nervous."
"I may have... done a thing," Leila said, fidgeting slightly in her chair.
"Care to expand before we really really have to kick you out because you've passed your curfew and your parents will think Kirk's abducted you?" Lorelai said.
Leila rolled her eyes but nodded, quickly hopping out of her chair and going to her bag in the hall. Behind her she heard her grandpa reply to Lorelai with, "Abducted by Kirk? Really? Kirk isn't even capable of abducting himself let alone persuading somebody else to join him."
Leila returned to the room and held out the piece of paper to Lorelai and Luke. Their faces frowned in confusion at first, then slowly their mouths opened at the same speed and they looked up at her, eyes wide.
"Does your mother know?" Lorelai asked.
Leila nodded. "Yeah."
"But -" Luke began.
Leila knew what he was going to ask. "No. Not yet. Tonight."
"For what it's worth, I think you're going to need to announce it with a draw full of handkerchiefs," Luke said, in the gruff voice that Leila knew meant he was deeply touched.
Leila cleared her throat slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Well I - I better go. I need to finish packing for tomorrow."
Lorelai and Luke bounced to their feet, enveloping their granddaughter in the warm familiar hug she knew so well.
"Call us once you're in London," Lorelai whispered in Leila's ear, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
*
Leila's house wasn't too far from Lorelai and Luke's - within Stars Hollow, nowhere was far from anywhere else objectively. She lived in the house tucked behind Aunt Lane and Uncle Zack's place; her childhood had been filled with her and her siblings chasing after Steve and Kwan across their two gardens. As they'd got older, Steve and Kwan had turned into their designated babysitters, which she and her siblings always loved because it meant late bedtimes, plenty of manga books, and (most importantly) ACDC blasting as loudly as possible in the living room. She hadn't seem them for a while now; Steve and Kwan were almost 30 now, and lived in Boston and Philadelphia.
She knew this walk across from her grandparents to her house better than anything else - Leila could do it blindfolded and would still make it back in one piece, provided Taylor Doose wasn't doing one of his bizarre parades at the time. It took just under ten minutes, yet Leila felt herself stalling.
She wasn't nervous. She just needed time to think. She'd made a big decision this week, and while she knew it was the right thing to have done, and nothing had ever felt so right for her ever before, she was still nervous.
Leila swallowed hard and instead of walking down the pathway home, she decided to double back on herself and do another circle of the snow covered town. Twice.
*
"Rory! Rory! Help!" Jess yelled from the living room, gasping slightly as he struggled to inflate his lungs.
"Dad, you make a really comfy sofa," Kit commented from his position of sitting in the dip of his father's back. "You should do it again sometime."
"He makes a great point," Matt agreed, wriggling as he made himself more comfortable sat directly on top of Jess' buttocks. "Maybe it's a new career choice for you instead of writer?"
"I am not a sofa," Jess waved the only arm not pressed into the sofa around aimlessly. "I was lying on the sofa until you urchins came along!"
"We're only doing what you always told us to do - read more!" Kit said innocently, reaching to the side to shove the cover of Oliver Twist into Jess' face. "Are we being Artful Dodger enough for you?"
"Dodger believed in stealing things, not crushing his father to death."
"I mean - we're stealing the air from your lungs?" Matt said. "Does that count as theft?"
"It's definitely up for debate," agreed Kit. "What do you say Dad?"
"I say I want to breathe!"
The fast pitter-patter on the wooden stairs marked the entrance of Jess' youngest daughter, Becca, into the room, which meant that (hopefully) Rory wouldn't be far behind and would offer him mercy.
"You look a bit squashed, Daddy," Becca said thoughtfully, wandering round to the end of the sofa where Jess' face peeked out at the world.
"Becca, my darling daughter, please get your terrible brothers off my back."
"Come sit on my lap, Becs!" Matt called, and Becca skipped away from Jess' face and towards her brother. A moment of pressure leaving his back told Jess that Matt was leaning forward to pick his sister up; the weight that felt like a house coming back told Jess Matt was leaning back again, complete with Becca on his lap. "Do you want me to read you Matilda before bed tonight?"
"Please do! Just not sat on me!" Jess said, truly exasperated now. He gulped another breath into his lungs. "RORY! LIGHT OF MY LIFE, PLEASE RELIEVE ME FROM OUR DEMON CHILDREN!"
The children broke out into giggles, their feet lightly kicking the sofa as they did so.
"Becca! You're meant to be in bed!"
The sound of their mother's voice made the kids jump off Jess' back, and he let out a groan as blood rushed back to his extremities. "Thank you, thank you," he muttered, clawing his way back up to the upright position on the sofa.
"I know, but bed was boring," Becca said defensively.
"I'll read Matilda to her until she goes to sleep," Matt offered, reaching for his little sister's hand.
"So long as it actually is Matilda and not some Stephen King novel," Rory said warningly, coming into Jess' line of sight with mugs of coffee in her hands.
"Hey, you and Dad always say to read anything we want!" Kit said.
"And I stand by that," Jess said, reaching for one of the mugs of coffee. "I just draw the line at reading your ten-year-old sister Stephen King before she goes to sleep."
Kit rolled his eyes and stuffed his copy of Oliver Twist into the back pocket of his jeans, rolling it up just like Jess did with his books. Jess cast a quick look at Rory and knew she was thinking just what he was thinking too.
Even this many years on, it still astounded him to see his children stood there, a perfect mix of him and Rory. They all had his dry wit and Rory's ability to talk at a million miles an hour; Becca had Rory's wide blue eyes, while the boys had Jess' dark brown ones; all three had Jess' wild hair, but Becca and Matt had inherited the black from their father and Kit the brown from his mother. The way Matt stood and walked scared Jess at times as it was so similar to him at that age; but where Jess had been unable to explain his emotions, Matt was constantly bubbling over with love for his siblings and parents which he showed constantly.
He did so right then, leaning down to give his father a hug goodnight on the sofa, and kissing his mother on the cheek, then reached for Becca who eagerly jumped into his arms. "Ready for Matilda Becky-Boo?"
Kit rolled his eyes as his brother and sister went upstairs, and headed over to the kitchen instead, muttering about needing more chocolate. The way Kit only spoke when he deemed it necessary was Jess, all over. He was through and through his son.
"Where's Leila?" Jess frowned as Rory sat down on the sofa next to him, putting an arm around her. "She should be back by now, surely."
"Never underestimate Mom and Luke's 'We won't see you for a whole week' dinners," Rory said. "She's probably carting a factory load of Pop Tarts back with her - or got waylaid by Kirk. Or both. You know he has a new cat?"
"What, again?!" Jess would never forget when Kirk bought a cat, also named Kirk, who proceeded to attack every inch of Human Kirk possible.
"You speak as though you're surprised Kirk would do such an eccentric thing."
Jess jerked his head non-commitedly.
"Are you OK? You've been really quiet this evening," Rory said slowly, reaching up to cradle Jess' face with her hand. She leaned forwards, resting her forehead against his. "Sad boy," she whispered, smiling slightly.
Jess nodded and kissed Rory on the forehead. "I just... I never like sending her over there, that's all. It's a reminder she isn't really... y'know..."
"Hey," Rory said, drawing back to look her husband in the eyes. "She's your daughter. In every way that matters, you're her father."
Kit loudly swearing from the kitchen, followed by, "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS HAPPENED, STAY WHERE YOU ARE" briefly interrupted them. They paused and, satisfied by the silence coming from both Kit and the kitchen, turned back to each other.
"I know that," Jess said, taking a sip of his coffee. "I know how I feel. When I see the four of them lined up, I don't think 'There's my three kids and my stepdaughter'. I think 'There's my four kids'. But sometimes I wonder if she resents growing up with me instead of her actual father and... what are you smiling at?"
Rory shook her head, and leaned forwards to kiss him. "Because sometimes I don't think you realise just how wrong you are."
Jess rolled his eyes, and cuddled Rory close to him, her head resting on his shoulder. They had been married for fifteen years, yet sometimes he still couldn't believe that this was his life - that he got to spend his life with Rory Gilmore Mariano and their four children. Seventeen-year-old Jess wouldn't have known what to say.
The front door banged open and closed, making Jess and Rory look round.
"Mom! Dad! I'm home!" Leila's voice came from the hallway.
*
"We're in the living room!" Rory called out to her daughter.
"OK, one sec, wait there!" Leila shouted back, wrestling her Doc Martens off. "I just need to make a pit stop to the kitchen!"
She half-jogged down the corridor and swung into the kitchen, almost jumping out of her skin to see Kit sat at the kitchen table poring over a book with a bar of chocolate beside it. His hair was even more nest-like than usual, a sure sign of him thinking as he was reading.
"I bring food," she announced, dumping the Pop Tarts onto the table. "Don't eat all of them at once, or Matt and Becca will kill you."
"Grandma worried we're running out? We have a cupboard full of Pop Tarts," Kit said, although eagerly reaching for the napkin.
"Grandma always wants to make sure we have enough junk food in the house. The older I get, the more I think it's to drive Grandpa mad, but it gives us free sugar so who are we to complain."
Kit nodded in agreement, taking a bite out of a Pop Tart. He raised his eyebrows as Leila pulled the folded up piece of paper from her back pocket. "That it?"
Leila nodded.
"It's official and everything?"
"Yep. You haven't said anything have you?"
Kit shook his head. "Matt and Mom haven't either. You gonna go tell him now?"
Leila nodded again. "Thanks for keeping it zipped little bro," she said, dropping a kiss on his head.
Kit looked disgusted at the sign of affection, but gave her a smile as she left the room. That was Kit's way of showing he cared; by trying to pretend he didn't.
Rory and Jess were sat on the sofa talking quietly when Leila came in. As usual, mugs of coffee were grasped in their hands. Luke always said that Jess only became a coffee addict after he got together with their mother; Leila thought this was a downright lie. Imagining Jess without a coffee mug every day was like seeing her Grandpa without a backwards baseball cap on - strange and unnerving.
"Hey, honey - how was dinner?" Rory asked as Leila slid onto the coffee table directly opposite her parents.
"Grandma gave me enough Pop Tarts to feed an army," Leila said.
"So you mean.. your brothers and sister," Jess said.
"Pretty much."
"You all ready for tomorrow?" Rory said, raising her eyebrows slightly at her daughter. She was waiting for the signal, Leila knew.
"Yeah, pretty much. I just..." Leila let out a deep breath, and saw Jess' eyes narrow slightly in concern. "I just need to talk to Dad quickly, if that's OK?"
Rory nodded. "Of course." She stood up, taking her husband's now empty coffee mug off him. "I'll go make sure that brother of yours hasn't inhaled every bar of chocolate we have in the house."
*
"Is everything OK, Leila?" Jess said, aware his voice was coming across as anxious. "You're not wanting to back out of tomorrow, are you? Because you'll love it when you're there, you always do."
No matter how many times he did this, it still felt like swallowing acid. It was a slap to the face every time that his eldest daughter, the one who had taken her first steps with him, who's first word had been "Daddy" while staring happily up at him, wasn't actually his. But he had to do what was right for Leila. And what was right for Leila was encouraging her to have a relationship with Logan - the relationship he had never had with Jimmy.
Leila nodded. "Everything's OK. And I know I will, but..." she swallowed. "I hate going, because it's always a week of everyone saying 'your father this' and 'your father that' and..."
"He is your father, Leila," Jess said quietly, reaching forwards to hold his hand gently on her knee, looking up into her eyes - those fierce blue eyes, so like her mother's. The blue eyes he loved with every inch of his being.
Leila shook her head. "No," she said firmly. "No, he isn't. And I decided this year I'd had enough of it, so..."
Leila reached into her back pocket and extracted a piece of paper, handing it to Jess.
"What's this?" Jess asked, taking his hand off Leila's knee and accepting the folded up paper.
"Just... read it Dad. And I thought long and hard before I did this."
Bewildered, Jess unfolded the piece of paper and read.
BY THIS DEED OF CHANGE OF NAME,
I HEREBY DECLARE
to relinquish the use of my former name Lorelai Gilmore HUNTZBERGER,
and have adopted for all further use the name of
Lorelai Gilmore MARIANO
Jess was silent. He was silent for a long, long time, reading and rereading the words on the paper. He knew his eyes were clouding up with tears, and could feel Leila's anxious eyes on him, waiting for a response.
"Dad?" Leila finally said, timidly.
Jess looked up, tears escaping his eyes now. "This is... official?"
Leila nodded, sniffing slightly. "I did it last month. I'm seventeen, I'm legally old enough to do it and... Mom agreed to help me with the paperwork." She met his eyes, and her eyes were set, determined. "I wanted to do it before I graduated High School. I wanted every diploma and legal document I own to say I'm a Mariano, not a Huntzberger. I wanted you to know that Logan's my father in biology only. My dad is and always has been you."
Jess took a deep breath, and did the only thing he knew to do. He opened his arms wide, and Leila climbed onto his lap, tightening her arms around him as he did the same to her. "You're my dad," she said quietly. "You're the only dad I have, the only dad I need, and I want the same name as everyone else in this house. I want people to see 'Mariano' and immediately go 'Oh, she's Jess Mariano's daughter' instead of trying to understand why I call you Dad but don't have your name."
Jess squeezed his daughter tighter. "I love you, Leila, you know that?" he whispered, peppering her head with kisses.
"I love you too, Dad."
"MOM I NEED SUSTENANCE I DIDN'T KNOW THE MINI DOUGHNUTS WERE FOR LANE AND ZACH, I WAS HUNGRY -" Kit's shouting from the kitchen interrupted them again, and Leila and Jess both chuckled.
"Come on then, kiddo," Jess said, tucking Leila's hair behind her ears, and kissing her on the forehead again. "As your Dad, I'm telling you that you need to finish packing for London."
"I have a shiny new passport and everything now," Leila said, standing up, her eyes shining. "Good way to christen it, to have a UK stamp!"
"Did you lose the old passport?"
Leila rolled her eyes, in a way that reminded Jess of his younger self. "No, Dad. But it had the wrong name on it. Remember - I'm a Mariano now. Leila Mariano."
Jess couldn't deny the way his heart leapt to hear her say that - her name, her real legal name - but instead he just smiled, putting his arm around Leila as they slowly headed up the stairs to her room. "You always were, my love. It's just it's official now."