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Every year since her mother had died, Tohru had spent New Years with Kyo and Yuki. It was their own little ritual, something which belonged exclusively to them; a safe space. But they had grown, and changed. They no longer needed to be kept safe. Kyo was finally spending the New Years with Kazuma, and Yuki was with Kakeru and his family; Tohru knew that they were dating, but was waiting for Yuki to tell her. He would, eventually, and she would support him, because she loved him.
Still, that left Tohru alone. It had been years since she had to make a decision by herself, was used to simply falling back on the tradition she had formed with Yuki and Kyo. But now she had to decide, did she spend the New Year alone, or seek some company? This would be Hana-chan and Uo-chan’s first New Year as a couple, so Tohru didn’t want to disturb them. Her grandfather was in hospital after a hip replacement and her aunt and cousins still were not her biggest fan. There were other Sohma’s, of course, but they had already made their plans well-known. Momiji would be with Momo, Hatsuharu and Rin together, and Kisa and Hiro would be with their families. The only person left was probably the one who Tohru wanted to see the most, but even she knew that it was impossible. Akito was the head of the Sohma family; she had to be busy during these times. Tohru couldn’t disturb her, that wouldn’t be fair. So she would spend New Year alone, because everyone else was busy, or unattainable, and Tohru understood. It was lonely, maybe, but Torhu wouldn’t let that bring her down. Her mother wouldn’t have.
“Such a lonesome New Year.” Shigure sighed, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. Yuki didn’t look up from the magazine he was reading, and Kyo just rolled his eyes. They never entertained Shigure when he was like this, but Tohru couldn’t help but be worried. She never knew if Shigure was joking, so chose to always take him seriously, in case not doing so caused him pain.
“Oh no, Shigure-san. Is everything okay?”
“Don’t bother with him Tohru.” Kyo tapped the back of her knee with his fist, but it was too late; Shigure had sprung up with renewed vigour, one eye closed, waggling his finger in Tohru’s direction.
“I’m glad you asked, Tohru-kun! I wanted to see my fellow musketeers Ha-san and Aya-san, but no doubt they’ll be so lovey-dovey they won’t even notice me there. Oh to be young and in love with my best friend.”
Tohru prickled at that, tried hard not to glance at Yuki from the corner of her eye. Shigure was less subtle than her, smirking at the younger man.
“Do you ever stop talking?” Yuki snapped, but didn’t say anything else, and Shigure seemed almost disappointed that he hadn’t successfully baited Yuki.
“So I either have to spend the holiday with Kureno or with my parents.” He continued, breezing easily away from his earlier comment, which Tohru was grateful for. Her brow furrowed though; there were other members of the family, surely, that Shigure could see.
“What about Akito-san?”
Shigure raised a brow. “Akito isn’t seeing anyone this year, Tohru-kun. She says that she would rather be alone.”
The way he looked at Tohru was purposeful; deliberate. Tohru had no idea what she should say or do, so she averted her gaze.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
The conversation shifted once more, and soon after Tohru excused herself; it was easier to be alone when her mind was racing like this. There was a lot for her to think about, so much so that her brain felt full, and before she reached her room Tohru felt exhausted. She would have an early night, and tomorrow she would have to decide what to do next.
* * *
Kyo waited for the sound of Tohru’s door clicking shut before he spoke.
“You really are an insufferable bastard, you know that?”
Most of the Sohma’s knew how Akito felt. Of course only Tohru would be oblivious to it. But this was for them to sort out and nobody else. Still, Kyo wasn’t surprised that Shigure was getting involved. The curse may have broken, but he was still nothing more than a sly dog.
“How could you, Kyo-kun? I’m not doing anything untoward.” Shigure settled underneath the kotatsu and picked at some mochi. “I’m merely moving things along.”
“Nothing good ever comes from your meddling. You should leave them alone.” Yuki said quietly, closing his book and standing.
Shigure followed his movements with narrowed eyes. “I’ll have you know that I’m very good at giving relationship advice, Yuki-kun.” Then he grinned, final words spoken as an obnoxious sing-song. “If you ever need my help, let me know!”
“Idiot.” Yuki seethed, following Tohru’s lead and heading upstairs.
Kyo shook his head in disbelief. No matter how much time he spent in this house he would never get used to Shigure, or his way of ‘helping’. Still, Kyo knew that he could be dense with romantic matters, and even he had noticed Tohru and Akito dancing around one another. If anything, he hoped that Shigure had helped, in some way, just so he could see Tohru smile freely again.
“I’m going to bed.” He sighed, leaving Shigure downstairs alone and wondering if there was anything that he could do to help, too.
* * *
It was the last day of the year and Tohru still had no idea where she was going for New Years. She had rejected offers from always everyone now, feeling either out of place or like she was imposing. The only person that Tohru hadn’t heard from was Akito, and she would never admit to herself that that hurt her feelings. She liked Akito, more than she had ever liked anyone, and if Tohru was being honest… she wanted to see her; wanted to spend New Years with her. But if Akito wanted to be alone then Tohru would respect that, even if it hurt her.
The first year she had been living with the Sohma’s, Tohru had resigned herself into spending New Years alone. It was not what she wanted, but at the time Tohru had thought that it was for the best. She didn’t think that anyone truly wanted to be alone, and knew that her mother would agree. The fact that Akito had isolated herself on a day usually spent with loved ones worried Tohru.
“Kyo-kun?”
“Hmm?” He looked up from his textbook, and when she didn’t say anything more he stared straight at her, making Tohru squirm with the intensity of his gaze.
She didn’t know what to ask, didn’t even know where to begin. Her mind felt like a stuffy blanket with a thread pulled, and Tohru felt everything unravel as she thought about Akito.
Kyo leant back on his arm with a sigh, stretching out his limbs like a cat.
“Akito will be at the main Sohma estate tonight.”
Tohru almost dropped the cup that she was holding.
“Is that so.” She tried to smile, but even Tohru could tell how obvious her shaking hands were. Kyo had always been able to see through her, and it was both a blessing and a curse; she didn’t have to state her feelings aloud, but he was always so intune it made Tohru anxious to know what else he had figured out. Maybe even about Yuki and Kakeru.
Still looking through her, Kyo spoke slowly, in a low tone that Tohru couldn’t place.
“If you want to do something you should just do it.” Kyo said. “Nobody will think of you as a burden or anything like that. If anything it would be good for you to say what you wanted every now and then.”
Tohru was breathing heavily through her nose, and she felt sensitive; a loose thread which threatened to snap. If she went to the Sohma estate and saw Akito, even for a second…
Her head snapped up, and she threw herself into Kyo’s surprised arms.
“Thank you, Kyo-kun.”
After a startled moment, Kyo hugged her back, a new novelty for them now. He pulled back first, and Tohru looked at him with steely determination. Kyo offered her a warm, crooked smile, and ruffled her hair playfully.
“Take a key with you. I won’t be here when you get back.”
She nodded, grabbed what was important to her and then headed out, to the Sohma estate. To the woman she loved.
* * *
“My dear Tohru! I cannot say that this is an unexpected surprise, as I was just telling Hatori here that I was hoping to see you today. Thank you for making that wish come true, as the end of the year approached and we must all cling to those precious bonds which we have formed.”
Tohru was greeted at the gate by Hatori and Ayame. Their arms were linked, and their lips seemed wet. Swollen. Tohru looked away with a blush, knowing that it wasn’t her business.
“So bashful! However, the urges of human intimacy are something which are not altogether lost on you, are they Tohru?” Ayame didn’t give her time to answer. “Of course not! Or else you wouldn’t be here, to see our wilting flower; our family head.”
Hatori sighed. “Akito will be in her building. You remember the way?”
Tohru nodded furiously, thanking them before sprinting to Akito’s house, lungs a scorching pain in her chest, scarf billowing behind her. There was no time to speak to anybody else; the day was drawing to a close, and Tohru wanted to spend as much time with Akito as the other woman would allow.
She arrived at the edge of Akito’s steps, flushed and breathless, and in her haste tripped over the first wooden slat. Tohru fell hard, the wood biting mercilessly into her stomach and thighs as she gasped around the pain.
“Who’s there?” A voice from inside, small and uncharacteristically timid. Tohru’s heart raced, and then sank. What if she had made a mistake by coming here? The door slid open an inch, and doleful lilac eyes peered through. When they landed on Tohru, the door was pushed open completely, and Akito scurried out, barefoot and desperate.
“Tohru! Are you okay?” Akito looked almost frantic, and Tohru was sent a painful reminder of cliffs crumbling; hands, too far to hold, reaching for her. She sat up onto her knees, rubbing her lower back gently.
“I’m fine.” Tohru smiled, and then bowed her head. “Sorry to disturb you, Akito-san.”
Akito exhaled her relief, offering Tohru a hand. “I don’t think you could disturb me if you tried.” They stood, but their hands didn’t separate. Tohru tried not to focus on the warmth of Akito’s skin, or how good it felt against hers; how right . But it was hard, especially when Akito looked at her through thick, lashes, lips slightly parted.
“It’s not that I am unhappy to see you,’ Akito started, and Tohru felt the embarrassment rise in her again, but Akito squeezed her hand and quelled it. “I was just surprised. Is there something I can do for you?”
“Shigure-san said that you would be spending the New Year on your own.” Tohru blurted, and Akito’s eyes widened, and then narrowed.
“Did he.”
There was an ache in her back, but the ache in her heart was stronger; Tohru let her forehead lean against Akito’s shoulder, too bashful to face the woman directly when she spoke.
“I want to spend New Year with you.” She whispered, and then hastily added. “If you’ll have me, Akito-san.”
The silence was thick, heavy with emotions that Tohru couldn’t quite place. It felt like a small eternity before Akito let go of her hand and cupped Tohru’s cheeks instead.
“It would be an honour that I don’t deserve.” Her complexion was wet; sincere.
Tohru didn’t hesitate.
She surged forward and slotted her lips against Akito’s, just a quick press of pressure, of skin on skin, but it was warm and golden and completely theirs . With a surprised squeak, Tohru jumped back. Her mouth fell open, fully prepared to apologise, but the smile which was tugging at the edges of Akito’s lips stopped her. The older woman was so incredible, Tohru could feel her throat constrict with the sheer beauty of her.
“You’d better come inside.” Akito hummed, tongue darting out to swipe across her lips, tasting them, her cheeks a bright pink. Tohru nodded numbly, following Akito’s lead, hoping against all hopes that they could make a new ritual tonight; that although the year was ending, their journey was finally starting to begin.