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The stone feels of the sun burn under my legs as he plays with the end of his clothing in a nervous twist. He has asked me to sit with him after our morning chases around the beaches edges, something different in his eyes glow ever since we have risen this morning. If he is trying to hide the small shake to his hands and the ever bite of his lip, he is doing an obviously horrible job at it, or whether I know his ticks and turns too well. The silence is starting to gnaw at my already thin patience. I do not like seeing him of unease without the reason so I can only lay helpless to him. I worry the other boys might have tried anything, jealousy always clawed at their throats leaving ugly marks since i can remember, now with love’s closeness i have slept on the fear rising in me that they might hurt him. or have already. I know Patroclus can take care of himself, but the want to protect him still bubbles in my limbs knowing he would try to hide anything in care of another person, even those that bully.
“Patroclus if something -“
“Do you regret it?” I tense at his interruption and fear what he might mean. He stares in fright at my soul.
“Regret what exactly? Every day has been even more beautiful than the last, our times are well.” He starts to grow red at the highs of his cheeks.
“Do not make me have to say it out loud.” He has crossed his arms over his slim chest and I find myself adoring his endearing behavior even as the stubbornness frustrates me.
“You are rather the mystery that only grows.” He huffs at me then, my reaction the want to kiss and bite at his mouth till he bleeds me his worries away, but I hold still for the sake of the sun's gaze.
“ Me Achilles, us, whatever it is one wishes to call what we do. I look upon the other boys and wondrous people here and can not help but question as to how you were lead to me. I hold no attributes.” He burns now a new skin as the flush takes him completely. I would drink his blood if I could, the crippling self doubt with it, if not a morbid scene I try to shake loose of my thoughts.
He would pinch my face and call me disturbed with a laugh between his teeth if only he heard it, but there are much more important matters to attend to.
I press close to him, our sides molding into one in the morning heat, and take grasp of his hand with refusal to let go. his eyes advert everywhere but to me so I only make the space smaller that separates our beings. I speak my heart’s truth and watch him twist with the response. I keep my voice low and barely a whisper, I want not even the earth to know our secrets.
“There are these moments that happen quite, quite often, even when you are not in presence, when my entire being, the burn of the sun, and the song of the seas as my guides wants nothing more than to push and cradle you into the sand and kiss every. Single. Part of your self until your skin is a sun tinted gem buried in the dirt and your voice of the wind that the muses chase,” I close the space between, his wide eyes staring at me in bemusement, I feel the pride fill my chest and my heart beats faster when I can still smell the oranges on his mouth - I will make him understand just how important he is - even if I have to spell it into sacred ground every waking second, I will make him see how the world does,” now ask me again if I am so sure about my decisions and you will hear yet only another desire that marks at my flesh. There is rather the plenty.”
He does not speak, speechless against my tongue. His body shivers with his ridged breathing and I rub the inside of his wrist to calm it. It does not help, but the way he continues to stare as if faced with godliness, I fear that he never will completely still. He kisses me then, forceful enough to send us both back to motherly earth that holds us in sweet smells. I know I have conquered Olympus when he writhers even more against me, it sets me on fire with his simple gaze and now with his touch stuttering across my skin I feel almost if it would be dangerous to allow me outside the kingdoms walls, near anyone that dares look at him. He gasps and breaks away when my nails dig into the edges of his hips, head shaking as he breaks into songful laughter. It is not only desire that tears at my back anymore, something stirs in my gut that makes me feel sick and light of heart. I know what it is and some day I may speak its name but for now, I only wish to hold him close.
“Achilles Pelides I will never be able to grasp that head of yours.” He says through a grin. His features are flushed as if dyed with grounded roses, I start my descent to taste the ones at the hollows of his throat. He stops laughing then, squirming in my grip once more as his hands pull strong full at my blonde strands and their roots. The day is still fruitful and new, with eternity's time I tell myself to slow and joyce in his touch but I can only seem to go faster in my pursuits and the growing eros prickling my skin; to be expected with those the hearts of lions and the teeth of bears.
He only proves me more when his gasps become louder than themselves and our hands search unconditional for each other’s hold. He will forever be the true one for the title. Patroclus the lionhearted. The most beloved of men. The philtatos of creation and hearts. My philtatos. I can not only do but repeat the phrase into the scorch of his skin. His breath halts, the most beloved unweaved by the greatest.
I find myself following him quickly to the edge of the world, where even the heavens seem to not manage to reach. We lay with the sun burning above us and his turning slow heartbeat in my ears. He breathes the world for me, speaks the skies to me, tells me where my steps must plant and yet somehow misses the divine of himself and his unknowing deeds. It cuts annoyance into me when he denies his beauty and the will of his mindful power, but still my philtatos breaths, the saint of the world and enough for my mind to settle for just a little.
He rests with his head above my heart, tapping me in its rhythm, and I breath in time with the rise and fall of his chest. I want us to be one - we are - but physically in well as soul.
“This will be forever wont it.” He states it as we both know it, feeling the same pull of a string as I do. I do not respond in words, only roll us so I can push him into the dirt and kiss his rose tinted edges once more.
“Eternity will not be enough.” I breathe into his lungs.
“The gods would have to drag me away bare teeth and hands to keep me from you.”
“I will bleed the fates if they dare cut you short.”
“I would feed you the stars if you asked me to.” The stars. The sun, moon, every deity to walk the heavens and this ground. None of them compare to his entity and the promises he makes to me. The most beloved of men and the greatest of the greeks, for the earth will be at our mercy and forever sing our songs.