Work Text:
“Oh dear God,” Emily grabbed her chest as she walked out of the bathroom and nearly mowed down Jason. “I'm sorry sir.”
“I should apologize, since clearly I startled you.” Jason looked at her but she refused to meet his eyes. “Are you alright?”
“Fine.” She nodded, putting on a beautiful but false smile. “Excuse me.”
“Prentiss?” Gideon stopped her after she walked past him.
“Yes sir?”
“Are you sure you're alright?”
She took a deep breath, wanting to tell him everything, but JJ whizzed past her.
“We’re in the conference room. Something is happening in Portland.”
Emily was happy for the distraction. She started walking quickly and Jason kept pace with her. They walked into the conference room at the same time as Morgan and Reid. Hotch pulled up the rear. He and Jason remained standing while the “kids” sat at the table. JJ turned on her monitor.
“Four bodies were found at a dump site near the city limits of Portland, ME. In various stages of decomposition, all were found to be tortured, bound, and murdered. The bodies weren't found all in the same grave but police are fearful they have a serial on their hands.”
“I don’t blame them,” Jason replied, picking up the crime scene photos and leafing through them. “The ligatures are intricate and while not the same, they are the same style. This isn’t amateur hour.”
“One of the victims was positively identified as 16 year old Melinda Smalls.” JJ said. “She has been missing for ten months but her body was well preserved. All of the bodies were, though dumped at different times.”
“They are either being held for long periods of time or stored after death.” Derek mumbled. “We’re looking at a sadist.”
“He could be holding more than one at a time.” Reid said.
“Wheels up in 30.” Hotch said. “We need more information before we figure out if we are dealing with a case that is hot or cold. JJ, get the victim files to Garcia.”
“Yes sir.”
The profilers nodded; getting up to quickly make sure they had everything for the trip. Gideon and Prentiss ended up at the door together. He deferred to her; she gave a small nod and kept walking. He looked after her before going to his office.
***
Winter came early to Portland and Emily was glad to go home. She nearly slipped and fell on black ice outside the airport. It was only quick action by Hotch that separated her and the hard ground. It reminded her of her last winter in the Ukraine…so cold she and her sister barely left the house.
There had been seven bodies found on the outskirts of town. They worked on victimology but a profile took time. All seven were connected to the same killer or killers but the last one committed was almost a year old. Since serials were rarely capable of stopping for an extended period of time, there were exceptions to every rule, the BAU felt the killer probably moved on. Victims were mostly runaways and “forgotten” souls, people who would not be missed when they disappeared.
Emily didn’t think the trip was successful as no Unsub was caught. Still, they were able to return the bodies of the dead to the loved ones if there were any. The M.O. also went into VICAP. That was going to help if similar cases turned up anywhere in the U.S. If the person was out there hurting people, he was going to slip up eventually.
“You're distracted.” Jason kept his voice down as he sat across from Emily. The plane was dimly lit; the team trying to get some sleep. Emily just stared out the window.
“I'm tired.” She replied.
“If you need to talk about anything I hope you know that you can talk to me.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Katya…”
“Please, I just want to get some rest.” Her tone was pleading and when her eyes finally connected with his Jason saw the pain there.
“I'm worried about you.” He was still whispering.
“You don’t have to be, I assure you.” Emily turned on her side. “I'm going to sleep.”
“Alright.”
Not wanting to bother her anymore, Jason got up and went to sit with Hotch. The Unit Chief was wide awake but that was nothing unusual. Gideon always joked that Hotch didn’t sleep, he just plugged in for a few hours to recharge. Actually he was only half-joking. Not that he had much room to talk about anyone else. Maybe putting some of his worry on Hotch would take it off Prentiss. No, it wouldn’t.
“She is excellent but I have so many doubts.” Hotch said in a low tone.
“No you don’t. You know exactly why she’s here. The question is does she know why she’s here.”
“Surely not.”
“I agree. Emily Prentiss is smart and savvy but Erin Strauss plans to pounce. It would be dangerous to show her cards before the game gets interesting.” Jason said. “We can turn the tables on her.”
“We already have.” Hotch replied.
“How so?”
“Just a few months and Prentiss is making the position her own. There have been stumbles, it’s inevitable, but she impresses me. Honestly, I haven’t been impressed by an Agent since…”
“Reid.” Gideon said.
“Yeah,” Hotch nearly smiled. “Do you think she is going to burn out?”
“Prentiss?”
“Mmm.” He nodded slightly.
“I think she is, arguably, one of the best. Her classic overachieving ways make her fit in perfectly with this group. She may be slightly too eager for acceptance but considering how she came in, I can’t find fault with that just yet. Give her time and she might be gunning for your job.”
“That is definitely what Strauss is hoping, or planning.”
“Do you know much about the Prentiss family?” Jason asked.
“I actually worked on her mother’s detail seventeen years ago; my first FBI job. Her parents were already divorced then.”
“Her father was once Ambassador to Jordan and Saudi Arabia.” Jason said. “He still works for State…he is a very important man.”
“I know. She could be anywhere and she wants to be in the BAU. I studied her file Jason; she deserved the spot as much or more than anyone who could have applied for it. We just didn’t ask for a new Agent. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Gideon nodded, leaning back in the chair and folding his arms. He kept stealing glances at Emily but she looked to be asleep. He knew that she wasn’t but would pretend to be all the way back to Quantico.
***
Emily hated channel flipping. She was very good at it but hated it. She had never been much of a television watcher. There was little of it in the Middle East when she was a child. Then her mother allowed her and her older sister to watch BBC News and classic films when they lived in Western Europe for a few years. Then in Eastern Europe it was right back to no television. By the time Emily returned to America in her late teens she had little use for what her grandmother always referred to as the evil box.
These days there were about 500 channels yet nothing on. Channel flipping was a form of purging for her. Once in a while she found something worth stopping on but that killed the whole idea. George, her year old Abyssinian, had already grown weary of the flashing colors. He yawned, curled close to Emily, and went to sleep. She stroked his cinnamon colored fur, listening to him purr against her hand.
When the front door buzzed he went flying off the bed and down the stairs. He always wanted to know who was coming to see them. Emily smiled and followed him. She was not expecting company; wasn’t dressed for guests. Grubby vinyl sweats, a New York Symphony tee shirt and her hair in two braids was not exactly the height of fashion. Her mother would die of embarrassment.
Oh dear God, don’t let it be her mother. No, Elizabeth Prentiss knew the unwritten rule…call first. Under any and all circumstances, call first. Emily looked through the peephole when she reached the door. George was already there waiting. She shooed him away; didn’t want him bolting.
“Hi.” She opened the door and looked at Jason.
“I always want to respect your right to privacy but I was concerned about you…I missed your face.”
“You just saw me this afternoon.”
“I saw Prentiss this afternoon. It’s really not the same thing.”
Emily nodded, inviting him in. While Jason stood in the hall letting her cat cover him in Eau de George, she locked the door. There were a few awkward moments between the two of them before Emily walked into his arms. Jason exhaled, pulling her tight to him. Their foreheads pressed together and he felt some of her anxiety drain away. He wanted to speak but knew words weren't what they needed right now.
“I'm sorry.” Emily mumbled, putting her face in the crook of his neck.
“What on Earth are you apologizing for?” Jason asked. He gently massaged the nape of her neck.
“I have no idea really.”
“Then stop; no apologies. You can talk to me though. You can tell me what's been bothering you for almost two weeks.”
“Its just…personal stuff.”
“I don’t mind listening.”
“I know.”
Emily pulled away and he knew she didn’t want to talk. He didn’t like it but what could he really do.
“Do you want me to leave?” Jason asked.
“No,” she held tight to both of his hands. “I hardly know how to ask you to stay. I haven’t done this in so long and we’re doing it a lot differently…nevermind.”
“I have never been fond of neverminds.”
“There’s nothing I can do about that.”
She had only been in the BAU for three months and for nearly all of them she and Jason Gideon had been lovers. That had never been the plan…that had been the farthest thing in the world from the plan. To begin with, he was her superior. Been there, done that. It wasn’t as if Emily, and damn near every Agent she knew, had not broken the fraternization rule.
Who else could you get involved with working those kinds of hours? Jason was different. He was her superior and he knew her in the past. It was a more controlled past than her childhood and teenage years but around his neck was a key to Emily Prentiss many people didn’t own. That fact was scarier than the superior thing.
“Katya,” he took her face in his hands, gently kissing her nose and then her lips. “The day will never come when you cease to intrigue me.”
“That’s doubtful.” She whispered.
“No, its not.” He kissed her again. “So I'm staying.”
“You're in for an exciting night of channel flipping.”
“Excellent,” he smiled. “I love channel flipping.”
“Jason,” she gently pulled him toward the stairs. “You don’t even own a television.”
“Well if I did…”
Emily managed a smile. They went upstairs together, the cat following to see what he could get into. She hadn’t asked Jason if he wanted a drink. A glass of white wine sat on her nightstand. He slipped out of his shoes and rested on the bed, holding out his arms for her. It was where Emily wanted to be more than anything. She was quite peeved by her smitten behavior. It had been so many years since she fell so hard so fast. Hitting the ground was really going to hurt.
“Your television is on Law and Order.” He said, holding her close. “That must be a sign.”
“You like this show?” she asked.
“I often avoid crime dramas as they are usually badly written and rely more on character drama than crime. This show is consistent in its quality all around.”
“Agreed, and Sam Waterston is sexy.”
“OK.” Jason laughed, which turned into a sigh when Emily rubbed his stomach. “I've been worried about you, Katya.”
“That’s very nice of you.” It was all she knew to say.
“I thought, think, you are doing a wonderful job in the BAU. You are good, and under Hotch’s tutelage you will get better.”
“Hotch doesn’t want to do anything for me but show me the door.”
“That’s not true. He knows how good you are…he told you so.”
“Yeah, sandwiched in between not trusting me and being sure I was there for nefarious reasons. Forgive me if the covert compliment was lost.”
“Emily…”
“Please stop.” She moved out of his arms. “I don’t want to talk about work. I'm really tired and…”
There was a noise in the corner and they both turned toward it. George had turned over the hamper; he was playing in Emily’s intimate apparel. She rolled her eyes.
“He is such a little bastard. He gets into everything.”
“He makes you smile though.” Jason replied.
“Can you believe he was a gift from my mother? The best gift she ever gave me actually. I always thought she gave him to me to prove I couldn’t take care of him but we are doing alright.”
“Cats are independent creatures.”
“Abyssinians are a slightly needier breed; they love companionship. I need to get George a companion while he’s still a…”
“What?” Jason asked when Emily abruptly stopped. “Are you alright?”
“I was late, Jason. I was late and scared to death to look you in the eye.”
Holy hell, talk about the conversation turning. It was a rare day when the veteran profiler didn’t see something coming. He was used to all kinds of twists and turns but that, he never saw that coming. Words, Jason had to find words. It was something he needed to do immediately. Every thump of his heart was another second gone by.
“Are you pregnant?”
“No,” Emily shook her head, looking down at her blanket.
“I guess I don’t need to ask if you're sure.”
“I've been on birth control for 20 years and I've never missed a cycle, no matter what. I missed two months and I was nervous. Both pregnancy tests came out negative but I went to the doctor anyway.”
“Are you alright?”
“She believes its stress. Mental changes can cause all kinds of physical changes. I need to relax more, balance my diet, get more sleep…most of which will probably never happen. Sadly the body learns to live with the stress as best it can so I should be fine this month. I hope.”
“You didn’t have to go through that alone.” Jason replied. He pulled her close again, sighed when her body relaxed against his.
“Pulling a guy in on a maybe is unacceptable. Its one of the rules, Jason.”
“One day we’ll sit down and write out all the rules.”
“You'll learn them as you go along.” Emily replied.
“Learning them by breaking them doesn’t seem the most logical conclusion.”
“Cope.”
“Yes ma'am.” Jason laughed a bit.
It felt good to hold her again but Jason didn’t know how to say it. There were plenty of things he didn’t know how to say; that was bothersome. Pieces of him felt he could tell her anything, even when he stopped himself from doing so. It had been a very long time since something so strong pulled him toward another person. Emily was special and despite there still being questions about why she was there, she was there. All that mattered to him were these moments, so few and far between in his life before and so real with her.
“I'm glad you're here.” Emily said.
“So I am.” Jason kissed her. “I needed to be with you. I just…”
“I understand.” Emily kissed him again.
“I think you do and that makes me comfortable. Don’t let me get too comfortable, Katya.”
“I think if we spend too much time keeping each other and ourselves on guard then this relationship will not be as fulfilling as I know it can be.”
Even as Emily said it she was not sure of the implications of the statement. She was sure of Jason’s smile and the tightening of his arms around her. She was sure of his passionate kisses, his body on hers, and the feel of the mattress underneath her.
“Are we safe?” he asked, intense kisses turning soft.
“Yes,” Emily nodded, caressing his face. “Jason, I…”
She didn’t finish, there was no need to. The two of them stopped themselves from saying more words than they could ever possibly say. Body language was easier, not to say it was all about sex. It was more and there was time to explore the many shapes and shadows. That was one thing they were both sure of…shapes and shadows.
Emily was sure of Jason as well. She didn’t know why and constantly questioned her judgment. Something in her told her it was going to be alright. She wouldn’t fall, it was hardly her nature. Emily had been burned too many times. She would, however, loosen her grip on the world around her and fly with him.
***