Chapter Text
“So, are you going to play your song at prom tonight?”
Archie nearly chokes on his toast.
“Uh – I don’t – I don’t think so.” He stammers, swallowing nervously. He really doesn’t want to talk about the whole Betty situation, especially with his mother.
You only have one parent left. Don’t push her away.
The thought niggles at his brain.
“I didn’t write it for Veronica.” He admits painfully, frowning down at his plate. Mary’s eyebrows draw together in confusion, and she tilts her head at him, waiting for an elaboration. When he doesn’t offer any more information, instead choosing to stare intently at his food, she stands up silently. He can practically hear the gears turning in her brain, as she gives her empty plate a quick rinse. She’s confused, but she doesn’t pressure him to tell her anything, and he’s grateful.
She flicks the tap off, stacking the plate on the growing pile next to the sink, and suddenly it dawns on her.
“It’s Betty.” She comments simply. It’s not even a question. Archie looks up, surprised. He can’t believe it only took her a couple of minutes.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Mary questions softly, lowering herself back down to the table, her caramel eyes drawing him in.
He doesn’t. Even just looking at Betty makes his throat squeeze.
He tries not to think about her, because if he does, all he can remember is how his heart broke into tiny pieces when she told him they were over, before they were even started. All he can remember is how she beautiful she looked, baby blue eyes glistening, blonde curls pulled up neatly into a ponytail, not a strand of hair out of place, pink sweater clinging to her womanly figure.
He doesn’t know if he can stomach talking about her.
But without any warning or hesitation, his mouth starts moving for his brain, and he’s telling Mary about everything, their kiss, his song, their meetings in the bunker, everything.
She doesn’t interrupt, just listens, like her ears are glued to his voice.
“You should play your song tonight.” She finally proposes, once he’s finished.
“Yeah?” He says doubtfully, watching her closely.
“If you father were here… he’d tell you to follow your heart. And I think you’d be following your heart if you played at prom.”
The words hit him hard in the chest, his heart clenching at the memory of his father, because that’s all he is now. A memory, floating distantly through Archie’s mind.
Archie wants to make his father proud, even from his grave. He just doesn’t know how.
“You don’t think I’m a horrible person?” He asks, trying to sound nonchalant, but secretly his conscious waits breathlessly for her response.
The guilt of the situation cripples him all the time. He’s supposed to be Veronica’s boyfriend. He’s supposed to love her, want to be with her, not cheat on her. He’s failed at all three, and yet he’s still with her.
He’s also supposed to be Jughead’s best friend. And he pretends to be, even though best friend’s don’t kiss each other’s girlfriends, or want to be with them, or think about them in x rated ways.
“Oh Archie.” Mary’s voice pulls him back into the present. “You are not a horrible person. You’re just finding your way in the world. Sometimes people make mistakes. We learn from them, grow from them.”
“You are not a horrible person.” She repeats firmly, at the disbelieving look settled heavily on his face. He wants to cry. He hasn’t cried in front of his parents since he was a little boy, but the sadness swelling in his chest is almost overbearing. He swallows it thickly, more for his sake than his mother’s. He doesn’t trust himself to speak, lest the storm inside him erupts.
“But Archie – think about Veronica. Are you really going to keep stringing her along?” Mary asks, choosing her words carefully.
Archie shakes his head. He knows he has to break up with her. It’s not fair of him to stay with her, when he’s completely besotted over someone else. Their awaiting breakup isn’t a question.
But when to do it? It plays heavily on his mind. Should he let Veronica have her dream prom before breaking her heart? Should he wait until graduation to make a clean split? Should he just end it this morning, before she can hate him even more?
Mary somehow seems to tell what he is thinking.
“After prom.” She comments quickly, as her phone starts buzzing, and she reaches for it. Archie nods, and then pushes himself up from the table.
“Brooke, hi!” Mary exclaims, watching Archie stride up the stairs.
Archie collapses on his bed, running a hand through his hair. Veronica’s picture glares at him from his desk.
I do love her, he thinks.
But I’m in love with Betty.
****
Betty stares at herself in the mirror.
The dress is stunning – a pale pink, hugging her figure perfectly, flowing at her feet.
Her blonde curls bounce casually on her shoulders, and her ocean eyes appreciate the flawless makeup she’s somehow managed to execute.
She’s supposed to be excited. She’s supposed to look forward to her senior prom. She’s supposed to be happy. Instead all she feels is empty.
“Elizabeth?” Alice’s voice pulsates through the room, and Betty steps away from the mirror, turning to her.
“You look beautiful.” Alice exclaims, scanning her over and smiling.
“Thanks, mom.” Betty replies, wishing she could feel normal. Feel okay. Feel something.
“You’re so grown up.” Alice says emotionally, tearing up. Betty walks forward, embracing Alice in a tight hug. She breathes in her mother’s soapy scent, and to her shock, feels salty tears welling up in her own eyes. Alice clings on to her desperately, and for once, Betty lets her.
“Has Jughead seen you?” Alice asks, pulling away and hastily wiping away the tear rolling down her cheek. Betty feels a stab at the mention of his name. It’s a stab of pain and guilt, and it hurts her heart. She shakes her head.
“He’s been working on the tapes all afternoon.” She explains, struggling to keep the bitterness out of her tone and rolling her eyes.
Alice frowns at this weird behavior.
“Is there something you want to talk to me about, Betty?” She questions accusingly, narrowing her eyes. Betty hesitates.
She really doesn’t want to talk about the whole Jughead and Archie situation, especially with her mother.
But she has to admit it would be nice to take some of the weight off her shoulders, to have someone to give her advice and support her.
The words bubble in her throat, but she quickly swallows them, burying them with all her other unresolved feelings and issues. So to answer Alice’s question, she just shakes her head again.
“Hmm.” Alice says suspiciously, but she doesn’t inquire any further, instead admiring Betty one more time and leaving the room. Betty’s eyes are drawn to the pictures pinned to the board above her desk, and she perches stiffly on the edge of her bed, staring at them. The first picture is of her and Jughead at the homecoming dance, standing a metre away from each other, forcing a smile at the camera. The second one is her and Archie, heads right next to each other, laughing brightly.
There’s a familiar tug on her stomach, which happens every time she even looks at Archie.
She tries not to think about him, because if she does, all she remembers is breaking her own heart when she told him they were over, before they had even started. All she remembers is wanting to kiss him so badly, as he towered over her, looking so beautiful in the candlelight with his strong muscles and red hair falling casually in his caramel eyes, knowing she couldn’t.
She loves Jughead, she does. He chose her when Archie wouldn’t, and after all they’ve been through together, she can’t not love him. But...
She knew Cheryl was wrong about her only being in love with the idea of Archie after she’d ended it. In that moment, everything was so real, so alive.
You can’t only be in love with the idea of someone if you long for them, miss them, feel safe with them, feel happy with them, want them.
Those are genuine, burning flames of feelings that send your heart into flutters and cause your stomach to twist in nervous knots.
She didn’t kiss Archie because she was in love with the idea of him.
But she loves Jughead. And he loves Veronica.
Archie was the only thing Jughead was ever insecure about in their relationship, and that’s why she can’t tell him about their kiss in Archie’s garage. It would destroy him, and if he knew, Veronica would find out, and then it would destroy her too, and then Betty would lose her best friend and boyfriend all in a matter of seconds.
No matter what she feels for Archie, she’s determined not to lose Jughead and Veronica. Even if that means lying to them and herself.
She stands abruptly, brushing off her dress and recollecting her composure, and out of the corner of her eye, she sees Archie.
He stands at the window, looking way too handsome in his tux, red hair smoothed down. He gives her a small smile, and she returns it.
Her entire childhood, she always thought Archie would be her date to the prom, not Jughead.
Maybe a big part of her still wishes that.