Chapter Text
When Trapper gets his travel orders, he's drunk for two days and dead sober for three. He spends the first sober day practically living in Radar's little office. Between puking his guts out, post-op rounds, and rounds of terrible army "coffee," he gives Radar a list of all the hotels, bars, and Geisha houses he and Hawkeye frequent when in Tokyo. Radar calls them all in an endless cycle, interrupted only by Frank Burns' incessant and ridiculous demands, until midnight, when Radar leaves a fourth message at Hawkeye's hotel telling him to call back right away and Trapper heads back to the Swamp for a fitful night's sleep.
The next day, Trapper is so desperate to reach Hawkeye, he gives Radar a new list of haunts that would get him and Hawk both in trouble for just knowing about, much less frequenting, but no dice. By mid-afternoon, Trapper has accepted that Hawkeye has probably gone back to a hotel room with someone and that they won't be able to reach him in time. He can't even begrudge him that, it's not like they're exclusive - and certainly not in Tokyo - but it does sting that he won't be able to say goodbye in person. He has Radar leave one last message at Hawkeye's hotel - the front desk clerk now recognizes Radar by voice - and then tells him to get back to work before Ferret Face makes good on his threats of bodily harm, latrine duty, or demotion.
Back at the Swamp, the still looks mighty tempting. A little liquid courage to help him get his goodbye on paper. But no, Hawk had done this - been open and vulnerable and honest - for him back when he'd thought he was going home with an ulcer. He owes Hawkeye something sincere and heartfelt. Fuck. Here goes.
Dear Hawk,
You know I ain't any good at words, or expressing my feelings. But I'll try. For you I'll try.
You once told me that I let you lean on me. That I kept you from going crazy or worse. Well you done the same for me Hawk. I leant on you just as much as you leant on me and I'm forever grateful for it. You're the reason I can go back home to my kids all in one piece and I can never repay that.
As much as it hurts to say goodbye, you're the reason I'm able to do it at all.
And I'm gonna keep writing you once I'm stateside. And I hope you'll write me too - about anything and everything. A friendship like ours shouldn't end just cuz of a measly few thousand miles.
I'm gonna miss the hell outta you, Hawk, but there's a piece of Korea coming home with me - and you're the biggest, brightest, best part of that piece.
Yours,
Trapper John
Satisfied that his goodbye was at least somewhat coherent, and fighting the urge to throw it in the stove and watch it turn to ash, Trapper went about hiding the letter. Putting it in any of Hawkeye's possessions was out - Frank loved snap inspections. And if Ferret Face ever found this letter, the best possible outcome was him burning it out of spite before bothering to read it. And as good an egg as Radar was, he had a long history of opening other people's mail. Trapper couldn't chance that - so hiding it in the still it was.
Hopefully Hawkeye would find it sooner than later - but just in case, Trapper planned to leave him a second goodbye via Radar. The kid was so anxious around anything sexual, particularly involving men, that it wouldn't be a good goodbye but it was at least a shadow of what Trapper wanted to leave Hawkeye with.
In the cold dawn of the compound, his duffel at his feet, wearing his Class A's for the last damn time, Trapper shook hands, kissed nurses, gave Frank Burns a final one finger salute and then the jeep roared out of the compound towards Kimpo and home.