Archive of Our Own

Tenderly shaking fingers curled around her palms, a soft thumb tracing circles on her knuckles in a way which felt so familiar, which felt like home. Deep brown sparkling eyes flicked across her face as though unwrapping her every thought, increasingly pleading with each blink.

“Waverly?” A caring, familiar, rough sounding voice crackled through, breaking the sound of heavy breathing and rapid heartbeats. The brunette’s eyes blinked rapidly, breaking herself out of the daze and she opened her mouth to speak. Slowly, before any words escaped her lips she took in the moment, the soft red hair resting on her girlfriend’s perfect shoulders, the blue flannel beneath only causing the radiant colour to pop. Her hand drifted down to her girlfriend’s cheek, tracing over the little mole on her cheek, a smile exploding on her face.

“Yes. Yes Nicole. I will! Of course I will!” Waverly grinned now, as her fiancé leapt up from her knee wrapping strong arms around her tiny waist, cocooning her and lifting her off the ground in a hurry. Instinctively Waverly’s legs wrapped around Nicole’s lower back, arms draped over the loose collar of the flannel and around her neck, pulling the redhead closer so their foreheads were touching.

“I love you so much Waverly.” Nicole breathed heavily into her lips.

“I love you too Nicole.” Waverly leant in, catching Nicole’s lips in a passionate kiss, her hands toying with the soft red curls at the nape of her girlfriend’s neck, Nicole’s right hand rising and falling gently on her back. The kiss felt like it lasted a lifetime, but was over too soon, as Nicole carefully placed her back on the ground, her entire face glowing in a smile. Before Waverly could instigate another kiss she felt a soothing hand slide down her wrist and catch her hand, lifting it slowly. Nicole pressed a kiss on her delicate knuckles and slid the ring over her finger, inhaling sharply at the sight of the ring she had put so much thought into finally resting on Waverly’s finger. 

“Is it -“ Waverly began to ask about the ring, but Nicole interrupted. Usually she would let Waverly guess, but the ring was so complex; it was simple, meaningful and she had to be the one to explain the thought which went into it. 

“Aquamarine.” Nicole smiled proudly. “For March, the month we met. And this…” She pointed to the white gold band which encased the tiny jewel. “Is made from one of Wynonna’s rings, and one of my own. I know how important she is to you, and I want you to know that she’ll always be there, just as much as I am. Maybe not for everything…” Nicole winked. “But this, and us, won’t break what you two have. There were definitely times when I wanted it too!” Nicole laughed at all of the times she had been convinced she would kill Wynonna. “But she’s your sister, and I love how much you two care about each other. I’m honoured that you let me in the way you let her in. Thank you Waverly, for sharing everything, for sharing yourself with me.” Nicole kissed the dainty ring which sparkled in the sunset.

“It’s…” Waverly choked on tears, struggling for the right words. Nicole was always so eloquent, it was like every moment had been planned perfectly, but Waverly was more impulsive, a rambler, the right words came eventually, but after a long spiral of other thoughts. “I love it so much.” A couple of tears fell onto their hands which were entwined now in between them. Nicole couldn’t help blush, she’d put so much thought into the perfect ring and when she couldn’t find one which lived up to her imagination she’d had one made. It was minimalistic, but meaningful, everything they had discussed, and it had a part of the most important parts of Waverly’s life entwined into a gorgeous piece of jewellery.

“I’m glad.” Nicole smiled softly again and pulled her smaller fiancé in for another kiss as the sun slipped behind the mountains and the lake lost it’s golden glow.

“Now let’s get home baby.” Wrapping an arm around Waverly’s waist, Nicole guided the girl through the forest where they’d had their first date, back to her car, her other arm rubbing up and down her fiancés exposed arms in attempt to warm her up in the suddenly cold evening air...

Hastily and sloppily, Nicole downed the last drop, tipping her head back harshly causing a slight dizziness. In an attempt to stop it, she slammed her hands over her eyes but only knocked herself back, slumping into the cracked wooden chair on her front porch.  Stretching out, she rested her legs on the white rail and passed out quickly. When her legs started aching she awoke and stumbled into the kitchen to get pain meds, but spying a bottle of rum opted for that instead, preferring to top up rather than cure the aching. 

A buzzing from the cupboard caused her to pop her head up from the table quickly… her phone… she had shoved it in there last night before she passed out, because she couldn’t stand to even think about Wynonna at that moment. She would, at some point, face her, for Waverly, not for herself, but not right now, not yet. Right now, she was enjoying having control over something, even if that thing was the decision to avoid Wynonna’s calls, it was something. Everything inside felt warm, which was a nice reassuring feeling after the cold which had seeped through her skin into her blood when Wynonna had found her yesterday and explained - well, half explained - the situation...

The entirety of Nicole’s body ached like it was on fire, her lower abdomen felt like someone was twisting a poker, slowly and savagely inside her. Her eyelids were heavy, but her eyes felt unnaturally dry as instinctively sheets of water began to cover them, clearing whatever was irritating them. She felt itchy, everywhere, but her arms wouldn’t seem to move from her sides to relieve the discomfort. So she just lay there on the cold concrete, wincing, groaning and aching, among the scratchy hay, unsure of how she got here, where she was or what had happened. 

It felt like hours had passed, hours of her trying to talk herself into getting up, hours of pushing herself onto her elbows and falling back to the ground harder each time. Something was wrong, something was off, but she didn’t understand it, it didn’t stop her though. There was often occurrences which Nicole didn’t understand, or wasn’t privy too in Purgatory but, as much as it frustrated her, it was more important to focus on getting out of the barn she appeared to be in. She was up on the palm of her hands now, further than she had made it before. She bit her cheeks hard, desperately praying she wouldn’t fall back this time, because despite how minimal the distance was, she knew in her shaky state it would knock the air out of her lungs. 

She didn’t fall back, she was pushed back, by the huge gust of wind and colossal bang as the barn doors flew open. 

“HAUGHT?!” A growling, deep and breathy voice disrupted the silence and there was only one person it could belong too, the darkness laced with an air of sarcastic musicality had always ground Nicole down, but now was the most pleasant thing she had ever heard.

“I’m over here Earp.” She coughed back, wincing as the words brushed roughly against her throat. 

Almost instantly Wynonna’s dark piercing eyes and wicked grin appeared over her and she squinted as she opened her eyes for the first time in hours. 

“HAUGHT SHOT YOU’RE ALIVE!” Wynonna punched Nicole’s shoulder hard, clearly unaware of the pain the taller girl was in. Unable to stop it, a loud groan escaped Nicole’s lips and her eyes snapped shut fighting off tears of agony. 

“What is going on? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? What are you doing here?” Wynonna’s questions exploded rapid fire out of her mouth and Nicole answered the most she could muster without doubling over in pain.

“I don’t know, but -“ She slipped her hands over her shirt, peeling it back slightly to reveal a huge gash oozing out with blood just above her left hip.

“Shit, okay, woah, we can figure this out, but first.” Wynonna grabbed her phone from her pocket, one hand pressed firmly over the shirt on Nicole’s stomach and the other dialling an ambulance jerkily into the phone.

“Hi, there’s been a stabbing… Earp Homestead… she’s breathing and conscious… but loosing blood fast, please hurry.” Wynonna preempted their questions with a professional urgency, and Nicole realised she’d probably made similar phone calls way more often than anyone at her age should have. 

“Waverly, is she -“ Nicole began but was thankful when Wynonna’s stopped her. 

“We can talk about her later.” Wynonna started to push a hand under Nicole’s waist pulling her up. “We’ve gotta get you outside, so they can put you in the ambulance.”

Wincing, Nicole put all of her pressure into Wynonna’s shoulder, allowing the Earp to wrap her arm around her uninjured hip and prop her up. The pressure she applied might have been a little more than was necessary due to her frustration and concern that the older Earp was clearly avoiding her question.

“Wynonna, don’t -“ Nicole was again cut off by her friend.

“Not now Haught, she’ll be okay, but she won’t be if you die on us.” Wynonna wrapped Nicole’s arms around her neck and the redhead couldn’t catch the yelp before it escaped her lips.

“NEDLEY!” Wynonna yelled and Nicole furrowed a brow as she couldn’t see the Sheriff anywhere in sight. She wasn’t left wondering for long however as the older man quickly rounded the corner, tossing his shotgun over his shoulder and grabbing Nicole’s other arm quickly around his neck. The redhead rested almost lifeless between the pair, dangling like an ornament. She wanted to ask more about Waverly, to know what Wynonna had meant by ‘will be’. Was she not right now? Where was she? Wouldn’t she be here if she was fine? The question’s hurt more than the wound on her hip and Nicole couldn’t figure out what to ask in time, before her eyes began to shut and her knees buckled causing her to jerk forward and Wynonna’s grip to tighten on her arm.

“Haught! Don’t sleep, keep your eyes open! Haught! She needs you! Listen to me!” Nicole could hear her, but it was all too much, why was she lying half dead in the Earp barn, how had Wynonna found her, where was Waverly? It was all too much…

Nicole had forgiven Wynonna for a lot of things because, as much as she denied it, she cared about her. At first it was for Waverly, her leniency with the older Earp, but slowly, gradually it had been just as much for herself. Wynonna was someone she could rely on, someone who she trusted, who she turned to for advice or call for a drink when she needed to let go. They had this unspoken connection which had been planted with Waverly, but had blossomed into something more. Neither of them needed to say it, they knew they had each other’s backs. That was why this hurt so much. Nicole had lost the two people she needed, her support network, her safety net. 

She’d lost control. Not lost it, it had been taken from her, ripped away like everything else in her life and it stung like nothing before. The most important decision of her life, the most important case, she’d been excluded from. Maybe it hurt so much because it didn’t surprise her. Nicole was always on the outside of whatever Earp centred drama was unfolding, only this time it affected her as much as anyone else. And she was still on the outside. There was no way of knowing if things would have turned out different had she been there, more than likely not, but that wasn’t the point. Once again she had no control over what happened in Waverly’s life, to Waverly, and she had tried so hard to give up control and to trust that Waverly knew what was best, but it didn’t cool the hurt that bubbled inside, the nagging fear that Waverly, and even Wynonna, didn’t trust her enough to involve her in their plans. Nicole was so sick of trying to control things which were out of her hands: Tucker Gardner, the Earp curse, Doc killing Julien, Waverly disappearing. Everything she cared about was unpredictable or guarded, so there was no point in trying to control the uncontrollable, she had given up control entirely. 

There was no way of telling how long she had been hunched over the table brushing her fingers over the grains of wood of her cheap IKEA dining table, simply that the bottle of Rum which had been half full was now near empty and her head felt fuzzy and her body warm. She didn’t feel drunk though, just content... and still… her eyes were closed and her forehead pressed to the wood now, arms spread out in front of her, hands nursing a half-empty glass of rum. Her front door flung against the wall and she swung up, her head spinning and eyes attempting to focus on the scene. Just her luck that she’d forgotten to lock the door and now would likely end up in hospital: again. Standing up, she grabbed the nearest thing to her - the glass - and launched it towards the figure standing in her kitchen. Although she wasn’t drunk, her aim certainly wasn’t in top form, and the glass smashed against the kitchen wall which was over a metre to the left of the figure.

“Jesus Christ Nicole, what the hell is wrong with you?” Wynonna snapped, grabbing the bottle of Rum from the table as Nicole lunged for it, suddenly realising who had made such a brash entrance. 

“I’ve been calling for 3 hours and I haven’t even had a single text from you! You’ve only been out of hospital a day, you’ll kill yourself!” Wynonna towered over Nicole who had sunk back into her chair seething and sucking her cheeks to stop from lashing out. 

“Fuck off Wynonna, I can’t do this now.” Nicole mumbled, standing up and walking away carefully.

“Not until you answer me Haught.” Wynonna reached out grabbing Nicole’s wrist and stopping her. When the redhead turned round, the anger and hurt in her eyes shocked Wynonna to the core and she let go of her wrist stumbling back a little. Nicole didn’t say anything, she just stared looking lost and hurt, her hands balled into fists at her side.

“Nicole. I’m sorry okay, I fucked up I know I did, I hate myself as much as you hate me, trust me.” Nicole scoffed at the last part.

“Yeah you did Wynonna, you fucked up.” Nicole couldn’t find the words to have this conversation, she needed time to figure out what she wanted to say, and she needed a clear head, so she just walked away again. Something told Wynonna not to push, something powerful, because Wynonna was never one to take a hint, but she’d never seen her friend like this before. In fact it didn’t even look like her friend, it was like Nicole was there, but distant, she looked confused and lost and the look on her face had scared Wynonna into silence. Quickly she ran to the door shutting it behind her before any tears could betray her and drove recklessly back to the homestead, she couldn’t even bare to look Nicole in the eyes any longer that night.

“Nicole?” Waverly leant her head against her finances shoulder, her wide hazel eyes tilted up, golden flakes glistening in the sunlight. 

“Yes baby?” Nicole pressed her lips against the top of Waverly’s head breathing in the soft scent of roses from her shampoo. Her left arm was draped Waverly’s shoulders, pulling her close as she tilted her head down to see what the small girl wanted.

“Okay firstly, can we go and get Nacho’s? And secondly, have you thought about where we should get married? I realised we haven’t really spoken about it?” Waverly smiled up at Nicole who laughed softly at how adorable it was Waverly could jump from something so innocent to something emotional so quickly.

“Firstly, of course we can cutie.” Nicole stood up from her plastic chair holding her hand out for Waverly who took it eagerly. “And secondly, I only proposed yesterday Waverly, we still have time.” She rubbed the back of Waverly’s head with another laugh. “But I haven’t thought about it much, I’ve been kind of preoccupied.” She kissed Waverly hungrily in the nacho’s queue. “And plus, I figured, you know Purgatory better than me, where would you want to have it?”

Waverly let out a breath as Nicole broke the kiss and threw the question back to her. Her skin tingled with excitement and electricity, as if she couldn’t really believe that she was discussing her wedding plans with the girl of her dreams. “I guess I’ve always thought it would happen at the homestead, but I know a lot of thing’s have happened there, so if you’d rather somewhere else that’s fine too.” Waverly meant every word she said. Of course it would be amazing to be married on the land which was so important to her and her legacy, however damaged and scarred, but she also knew wherever they got married would become the most important place to her, because it would be shared with the woman she loved.

Nicole wasted no time in quashing her doubts though. “It’s okay, of course we can have it at the homestead. I expected you to want that anyway, I just wanted you to be the one to say it.” She smirked, kissing Waverly again.

“You’re too good for this world.” Waverly beamed. This world? What other world? What a weird thing to say, she thought to herself, but quickly shook it away.

“Hi, do you have vegan cheese?” Nicole rested her exposed forearms on the counter leaning over to look at the menu slightly.

“Yes ma’am.” Came a quick reply from a muscular young man with stubbly blonde hair and an abnormally large grin.

“Great, we’ll take a large nachos with vegan cheese and all the toppings.” She winked at Waverly, slipping her card across the payment machine. The man rifled around for a minute, making their nachos and Waverly scanned the scene, finally taking in their surroundings. She didn’t remember getting here, but it was beautiful. They stood to the left of a huge outdoor park, at a tin van serving freshly made street food, the sun was warmer than Waverly could ever remember in Purgatory and it was only intensified as it bounced off the metal onto their smiling faces. Behind them stood the pristine bleachers, way cleaner than any Waverly remembered from her high-school days, surrounding a neatly trimmed field with crisp white lines ready for the players to make their way to the batting stand. It must have been Nicole’s idea to come to the game, she couldn’t remember, but she certainly wasn’t complaining, because it was the perfect date, sharing junk food and cheering for a team she didn’t even know the name of. It was bliss, it was heavenly.