Chapter Text
It was after when his fifth attempt to comm his general went without success that he decided to locate Obi-wan by himself.
Obi-wan is usually quick to response when it comes to communication. He heard from his batch mate that some of their superior officers - A.K.A. Jedi generals – gave them hard time by intentionally choosing to ignore the comm from time to time when the “Force” told them it was not urgent. Obi-wan was not like that. He was always straightforward and had good reason when he did not answer.
So, Cody intends to find out the reason behind this silence, especially after this kriffling siege finally, FINALLY wrapped up after 28 days of living hell and everyone was at least attempting to relax a bit.
The only reason he was not panicking was that he actually talked with Obi-wan an hour ago, face to face, about demobilization process. He looked fine without major injuries. (yes, focus on “Looked”. Force knows he can hide a lot.) He winced a bit when he moved but that was within the margin of allowance considering the last 28 days in this godforsaken planet called KyoJu2.
Some soldiers told him they saw the general walk to the east gate. He followed the direction and finally found him, first through the window glass, which allowed him to see his face, then around the corridor leading to the outside- Cody approached from behind. No doubt Obi-wan had already sensed his presence.
He was sitting- kneeling? – at the edge of the cliff side that they used as landing field 4 weeks ago.
But.. something felt wrong. His back was hunched, his whole posture slumped, his facial expression hollow without any focus, just staring at the vast ocean beyond the cliff (except there was nothing to see).
He looked like-
Like he was defeated. Hopeless.
Cody was surprised by his own choice of word. Hopeless, usually, was not the word to describe the said Jedi master.
It has been almost 3 years into the war which meant 3 years since he served under Obi-wan, and he never saw his generals looked like this before.
During the early days of war, the insanely hopeful and recklessly confident battle attitude of the Jedis used to drive him crazy. Even when faced with situation that would make most capable soldiers fall into despair, they just gave a little shrug and jumped right into the middle of crisis headfirst.
But after repeatedly witnessing impossible things performed by the lightsaber users, he started to believe in them. Not in a way that the basic combat training program in Kamino forced him to, but in a way that makes his gut feeling change. With the Jedi, his general, any situation could be turned and it wasn’t just him. The belief was widely shared over the GAR, giving the young soldiers hope and something to believe in.
And Jedis never backed out from being the icon of hope. Rather, they volunteered, especially his general. Always so ridiculously put together, giving ‘brave speech’ – “Good man, Cody. Good man”, “Come one- we have a battle to win.” - and always going in first, coming out last from the battle front.
Cody even felt some sympathy for Obi-wan. Yes, he is THE Jedi, trained for their whole life, force-sensitive and all that, but he was still just one man. And he was mortal, gets wounded more often than not, gets stressed out like hell also.
As the one person lucky enough to firsthand witness all the burden laid on Obi-wan, Cody had unspoken amount of respect for the man. For not showing any of it to the 212th and to those around him. Even under the most stressful and draining situation, all he would get as a hint is red-rimmed eyes or longer-than-usual beard touching silence. Or- slight shouting to General Skywalker – and if anyone asks, Cody would say General Skywalker deserved it – but, never, NEVER to the common soldiers of 212th, let alone to the commanding officers did Obi-wan show his vulnerability.
So.
Cody was nervous.
No doubt his general already sensed his presence, but he still did not straighten up as he usually did. He just sat there looking at nothing with vacant eyes.
“General?”
Cody stopped right behind Obi-wan, both his hands behind his back. Ready to listen. Obi-wan did not respond for good 10 seconds.
“How Many?”
“…Sir?”
“CASREP, Commander.”
Casualty report. He was asking how many they lost during the siege.
“Last time I checked, around 300 to 350 KIA, 50 in critical condition. Rest of the battalion is mission-ready condition, sir. It was a hard win.”
Another 10 seconds of silence.
“..Did we?”
“….Sir?”
“Did we win? Is this victory?”
What?
“As close as we can get, if you ask me, sir.”
Then the silence returned. Yes, something was definitely wrong with his Jedi.
First of all, he did not even turn and look at Cody which is as far as it gets unusual considering Obi-wans’ eye-to-eye dialogue trademark.
Some of the Shinies at 212th, and frankly a lot of his boys, could not stop stuttering for mission report to his general, because Force knows, Obi-wan looked straight at the eyes of the speaker no matter who he talks to. It is understandable, when you become the sole & intense focus of the blue-eyed Jedi Master, the council member and high general of the GAR, your brain does not exactly function as usual.
But Now- now Obi-wan is not looking at Cody.
Also, all the polite speaking manner – If I may ask Cody, If you would be so kind Cody -was gone also. Not that he cared.
And lastly - Why is he questioning the win? The Seppies backed out, their damage was at least 3 times bigger than GAR. Mission completed, by any standard.
“General, are you Okay?”
Obi-wan finally looked up. He did not have to be force-sensitive to notice that he was sad. His facial expression was filled with grief.
“I will be, Cody. I will be. Just-“
As always, Cody thought. His general became OK after anything. Had to be OK. Always.
“If you would be so kind Cody, is there any chance that you could spare me couple of hours of your time for me? I promise we’ll get back before today’s SITREP.”
Daily situation report was on 19th hour, which was about 6 hours later. Cody has millions of tasks waiting for him, but none of them out-prioritized his general.
“Of course, sir. Anything.”
“Thank you. Meet me at hanger 5 in 20 minutes, would you?”
“Yes sir.”
Cody could see Obi-wan forced a small smile for him. Force, he hopes he would not do that, not for him.
Cody was heading to hangar 5 when Kix called him.
“Commander, ah- Kix here, ah- It’s about the general. I was with him like 2 minutes ago, when I finally found him for medical check- and he said he had to go somewhere with you? Like right now?”
“Yes that’s correct. I’m heading to the hanger. He looked fine to me, what’s your opinion?”
“Ah- I have to actually check him to be able to say something? But yeah, he looked fine. It’s just-.. ah.. “
“What is it? Spill it out, Kix, I’m almost there, I have to go.”
“He’s being weird, Commander. Awfully quiet an all. Like-.. like”
“Sad?”
“Yeah.. yeah…. It’s just.. brings back bad memories, sir. Like after Zygerria-bad....”
He could sense Kix being cautious to mention that cursed name.
Kix was one of the few members of 212th that met Obi-wan right after Zygerria shit-show. The Jedi refused any visits during his staying at the medic wing, then he disappeared for 2 days for “meditation”.
When he returned, he was his usual self. Rex and the mission report delivered the vague picture of what happened, but the Jedi looked fine. Like nothing even happened.
Again, Cody had the utmost respect for his general. For his infinite ability to persevere anything, even torture.
“I.. will take not of that.”
“I packed extra med kit for him, just in case. The general took it. If you see anything, any sign of discomfort, comm me right away?”
“You know I will. We’ll be back before SITREP.”
Obi-wan was already waiting for him when he finished the call. Within a small speeder next to him, Cody could see some stuff alongside with the med-kit Kix mentioned, stored in the back seat.
“Shall we?”
“If I could drive- sir? I saw you winced when you walked back there.”
Again, Obi-wan’s forced smile resurfaced.
“You are too kind, Cody. Very well then, I will tell you the direction as we go along. I don’t have the exact coordinate.”
“Understood, Sir.”