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There's a Witch Who Lives in a Cabin in the Woods

Summary:

It was ironic how he taught a trespasser a lesson for trampling his unwanted presence all over his home and destroying his creations left and right only to have him return to his front door by a man dressed in white who begged for his help.

Or how Xue Yang took his pretty time deciding if Song Lan should stay dead or save him for a smile.

Notes:

I can't help but feel this is a bit ooc, so excuse me if it is. I just wanted sexy Xue Yang, loosely dressed while smoking on a pipe. That's the point of this story.

Work Text:

Xue Yang eyed the strange man kneeling on the ground before his door. There was another man, his friend, Xue Yang assumed, draped on his back and—oh. Yes, he remembered this man. But the man wouldn’t have dragged him here if he knew who was responsible for his friend’s misfortune, would he?

Xue Yang took a puff from his pipe and leaned forward to blow the sweet smoke into the man’s face. He smiled slowly, innocently as the man sputtered and coughed. “Don’t you know not to make dealings with a witch?”

“P-please.” The man managed. “Please help my friend. He’s dying!”

“Poison will do that to you.” Xue Yang agreed, nodding sagely.

If anything, the man bowed lower, careful to not jostle his friend's injuries as his forehead nearly made contact with the ground. "I don't have any money, but I'll do anything! Just please cure my friend and, if you could, his eyes… his eyes…"

The sound of the pipe knocking against the wooden stairs cut him off. Xue Yang gave it another long drag, savoring the sweetness that coiled around his tongue. He blew rings of smoke at the man's head when he spoke, an eyebrow arched in amusement. “Anything you say? Then I want a fox’s heart, a mermaid’s tail skinned and cleaned and grieving ghost’s tears within three days. Only then will I help your friend.”

The man paled, his mouth opened and closed.

Xue Yang sighed. “Humans are all talk as always. If you don’t want to do this, I’ll go back inside.” He waved a hand at the man and started to get up—

"I'll do it!" They both jumped at the intensity of the man's voice, but he quickly spoke. "I'll do it, but I don't think, Zichen could wait that long, I— Are you going to keep him alive until I come back?"

Xue Yang suddenly laughed, his head knocked back against the railing as he gripped his robes. His laughter turned into wheezes, unable to draw in breaths.

The man stared at him in concern, but he had to wait longer until Xue Yang could compose himself.

He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at the man. “You really believed that! You were going to go and get yourself killed just because I said so!”

"I would do it for my friend." The man said firmly. He looked… not angry, but displeased. Xue Yang didn't care to know whether for being tricked or unsure if his friend would get help.

What did the man have to offer that Xue Yang wanted? Xue Yang pondered over it, ignoring how the man was checking his friend for any signs of life. Like a viper, Xue Yang grabbed hold of his friend’s chin and tilted his way. The man in white made a distress noise as Xue Yang opened his eyes to inspect his work.

No doubts about it, his eyes were a goner, and he said as much to the man.

"Then, use my eyes." Xue Yang glanced at him to gauge his expression, and he saw determination and stubbornness. Interesting.

But he needed to put down a payment because whoever heard of a witch who does things for no cost.

“Three years.” Xue Yang said after a puff of smoke. “If I cure him, you’ll belong to me for three years.”

The man answered with no hesitation. “You have my word.”

Xue Yang cocked his head. “You’re not afraid that I’ll use you in my experiments? Or as ingredients? Whatever I want to do to your body, your soul, you have no right to them.”

He could see the man's gaze wavering only of a second before they hardened. Then, he smiled. It was a small and soft thing that should have no effect on him, but he here was, staring at it, dumbfounded. "I trust you."

Immediately, Xue Yang scowled. With a long drag from his pipe, he mercilessly blew the smoke into his face, making him cough. He stood up and walked back to his home. "The process will be painful, I don't have herbs or spells to numb you from the pain." He waited for the shift in breathing, the uneasiness and fear of pain to scare the man away.

Instead, the man followed him into his home. “Thank you so much! Thank you!”

Xue Yang had a feeling he would regret agreeing to this. Was it too late to just let his friend die? That was his intention in the first place. Kind of. His eyes glanced back at the relieved man who smiled at him when he felt his gaze. “What’s your name?”

"My name is Xiao Xingchen, and this is my friend Song Zichen." He shifted to get a better hold on Song Zichen. "May I ask what is your name?"

His lips curled up in amusement, barely holding back his laugh. ‘I am the one who melted your Zichen’s eyes and left him to die.’ Instead, he replied sweetly, "I am Xue Yang, the witch of these woods. Welcome, Xiao Xingchen, to your new home."