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Nico didn’t even know how it had happened, he and Will were just sitting on the beach watching the waves while everyone else was at the campfire. He had just said the wrong thing at the wrong time.
“When are you going to the underworld next?” Will asked, crossing his legs in front of himself.
“I don’t know,” Nico shrugged, “whenever my dad has a job for me to do.”
Will nodded thoughtfully.
“Is something wrong?” Nico asked, furrowing his eyebrows, he scooted an inch closer to Will but they weren’t touching.
“So, I’ve had a little thing running around in my mind for a while now,” Will started, “and by a while I mean like a week or so.”
Nico tilted his head to one side, “what is it?”
“I just thought that… uh,” Will shook his head, “we’ve been dating for a few months now and…” Will licked his lips nervously.
“And?” Nico prompted.
“We haven’t even had a first date yet,” Will focused his gaze on the sand in front of him, letting the sand slip between his fingers, “maybe this weekend… I mean… I know a diner in New York we could go to… it’s been a long time since I’ve been there but uhm…”
“Would Chiron let us?” Nico asked.
“I don’t know…” Will dug into the sand, “I was going to ask but… I wanted to make sure that you were okay with it.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Nico said honestly.
“Why?” Will’s expression looked so heartbroken that Nico honestly felt bad for denying his offer.
“What about the monsters, and there would be so many people. It’s not like Camp Half-Blood where no one really cares about our relationship,” Nico looked away and stared out at the water.
“So many people…” Will pulled his knees up to his chest, “what does that have anything to do with us? I know that you don’t like big crowds…”
“Will, I come from a time where being… us had severe consequences,” Nico explained slowly. Will frowned.
“Times are different now Nico, people are more accepting, no one will care that we’re out on a date. It’s no one’s business what two guys are doing at a restaurant.”
“I’m just saying—”
“Are you ashamed of me?” Will cut Nico off, his blue eyes were dull and glassy. Even his golden hair seemed to dim.
Nico was so shocked at the statement it took a moment for him to process what Will had asked. Will took his silence the wrong way.
“You never let me touch you when we’re around the other campers, I can’t show you any affections unless we’re in private,” Will clenched his hands into fists, “I get it if you’re uncomfortable, you’re from a time when that was unacceptable. But do you even want to be in this relationship? You always seem so uncomfortable when we’re alone.”
Will reached out and took Nico’s hand, instinctively, Nico flinched away from his touch. Will’s frown deepened.
“We haven’t even had our first kiss, it’s been months,” Will looked out at the lake, “barely anyone even knows about our relationship, of course, no one here would care because they don’t even know.”
“Will, that’s not—” Nico was barely able to get a word in because Will just kept going.
“I just want to be able to hold hands with you at dinner or do something I don’t know. It feels like you’re only humoring this relationship to lead me on or something,” Will started to get up, brushing his pants off, “I love you, Nico. I really love you, so much.”
“Will, wait!” Nico scrambled to his feet.
“I don’t know if you love me back,” Will finished.
“Will, I do love you,” Nico insisted, he wanted to reach out and take Will’s hand but he didn’t. But in retrospect, maybe he should have.
“I don’t believe you,” Will said, his voice devoid of any emotion, he glanced over his shoulder where the rest of the camp was, “I think I need some time to mull things over, maybe we should take a break from all of this.”
Will gestured in a wide arc, “I need some time.”
Will turned around and walked away in the direction of the cabins and Nico watched him go. He could barely think of what had happened.
Did he just break up with me? Nico thought miserably. The one good thing that had happened to him, he had messed it all up again.
“Hey,” Jason called, jogging over to Nico, “what are you doing out here by yourself?”
Nico stuffed his hands in his pockets, he could just storm away to his cabin and not think about any of this until morning. But Jason was right here in front of him. Nico could trust Jason.
“I think I just messed up,” Nico said quietly, “I think I messed up big time.”
Jason cocked his head to one side, “do you want to go somewhere else and talk about it?”
Nico nodded.
Jason pulled Nico away from the beach to the Hades cabin.
“What happened?” Jason asked, plopping down on Nico’s bed. Nico sat down and crossed his legs in front of himself before telling Jason what had happened with Will on the beach.
“I didn’t even realize what a horrible boyfriend I was being,” Nico whispered.
“I think—” Jason leaned back against the wall, “—that Will is someone who expresses their love through contact. And I think that he expects his partner to do the same.” Jason’s tone was soft and careful.
“But, I think that you’re someone that expresses your love more through spending time with the ones you love and doing things for them,” Jason spread his hands casually, “Will is the kind of really touchy-feely person, that’s how he shows anything. From what I’ve seen he seems like a pretty tactile person.”
Nico nodded in agreement.
“There’s a language barrier there,” Jason said, “you said that he thinks you don’t love him?”
Nico nodded again, this time more glumly.
“You aren’t really someone that appreciates touch very much,” Jason glanced at Nico, “so you see where there are some mixed signals there?”
“I do,” Nico pulled his knees up to his chest, “but what should I do? I think that he just broke up with me.”
“You have to show him that you love him. But in a way that he’ll understand,” Jason rested his hand on Nico’s knee, Nico didn’t have the energy to pull away, “you do love him right?”
“I love him so much,” Nico felt tears welling up in his eyes but there was no way that he was going to cry in front of Jason, not because of love. Not ever again.
“Since you’re more laid back in how you express your love and since Will doesn’t understand that part, show him that you love him in a way that he’ll understand,” Jason nodded thoughtfully, “you two are both young and new to love, I don’t think that Will or you would have realized communication issue.”
“I need to talk to him,” Nico started to get up but Jason grabbed his arm.
“Wait until the morning, give him a little time,” Jason looked Nico in the eyes, daring him to disagree. Nico sighed and sat back down.
“Thanks Jason,” he whispered.
“What are friends for?” Jason smiled and patted Nico on the shoulder, “I should go find Piper, she’s probably wondering where I ran off to. Good luck Nico.”
Nico nodded as Jason got up.
“See you at breakfast tomorrow.”
“Right.”
Nico watched Jason leave before switching off his light and crawling under the covers. Letting himself fall asleep before his thoughts could keep him awake for too long.
--
In the morning, Nico reluctantly got out of bed. He didn’t want to go to breakfast, he didn’t want to talk to Jason and he definitely didn’t want to have to face Will. He knew that he had to apologize to Will and he knew that he had to straighten things out between them. But his heart leapt to his throat whenever he thought about it.
Nico sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands for what felt like ten minutes before he finally stood up and got dressed. Everyone was probably at the pavilion by now eating breakfast. Maybe Nico should wait until after breakfast to talk to Will. But wasn’t hiding and running away from the other campers what started this whole issue? No, Nico started the whole issue. So that meant that Nico had to make things right.
So, before Jason could come pounding on his cabin door, Nico slipped out to the pavilion where, as he figured, the rest of camp was already gathered for breakfast, eating, and talking.
Nico plopped down next to Jason at the Zeus table.
“So, any plans?” Jason asked, leaning his chin on his hand. Nico sighed.
“No,” he responded. Nico glanced over at the Apollo table, Will was sitting at his normal spot, pushing his breakfast around with his fork. He wasn’t talking with any of his siblings.
“Did you and Will get into a fight?” Piper observed, plopping down in the seat across from Jason, “I know that lost look anywhere.”
“Stupid Aphrodite knowledge,” Nico muttered.
“So what happened?” Piper asked
“Will thinks that I don’t love him,” Nico summed up, “and I don’t know how to show him I do.”
“Well, I think for starters you should at least talk to him,” Piper rolled her eyes, “sitting around and moping isn’t going to solve anything.”
“I don’t know where to go from there though,” Nico said.
“That’s for you to figure out as you go,” Piper reached across the table and patted his hand, “go talk to him.”
Nico nodded and stood up, slowly making his way over to the Apollo table. His knees were trembling and he desperately wiped his palms on his jeans to hide how sweaty they were. He shouldn’t be this nervous trying to talk to Will. But Nico didn’t even know if Will would believe him.
“Will…” Nico started. Will looked up at Nico, there were bags under his eyes, he obviously didn’t get much sleep last night.
“Can we…” Nico shifted his weight from foot to foot, “can we talk?”
Will licked his lips, “go ahead.”
Nico glanced over at Jason, him and Piper were in the middle of a conversation, but it seemed fake. Jason kept glancing at Nico from the corner of his eye.
“About last night,” Nico swallowed thickly, “what you said… none of it was true… that’s not how I feel.”
“Then how is it Nico?” Will asked desperately, “I love you so much and you don’t seem to reciprocate it.”
“I’m not ashamed of you,” Nico said, getting it out there right away, “and… I do love you… so much but… I didn’t know that I was hurting you.”
Will scooted to the side and Nico sat down on the edge of the seat, ready to escape if he needed to.
“I think that we don’t see eye to eye on how we love,” Nico tugged at a strand of his hair, “I’m sorry that I didn’t understand that you liked to be touched and you like physical affection…”
Will stared down at his lap, fidgeting with his fingers.
“I like spending time with you… and…” Nico could hear the blood rushing in his ears, he didn’t even know if he was speaking loud enough for Will to hear him. But he kept talking either way.
“And… I’m sorry for hurting you…” Nico shyly reached out and took Will’s hand. Nico’s palms were sweaty and it might have been the wrong thing to do, but Nico did it anyways. He didn’t know what else to say or what to do.
Will’s eyes widened, he looked up at Nico then glanced down at their hands.
“I’m sorry,” Nico whispered, his voice cracking, “I love you but I didn’t realize you thought otherwise, so I’m also sorry for letting you think I didn’t love you.”
Will smiled, it was the first smile that Nico had seen out of him all morning.
“I’m sorry too, I should have let you talk last night, we could have avoided all of this,” Will said, squeezing Nico’s hand tightly, “I shouldn’t have been so closed-minded and I should have listened to you.”
“We should have talked about this before,” Nico opened his arms slightly for a hug, “can I?”
Will beamed, his eyes filling with tears, he pulled Nico into a tight hug, burying his face in Nico’s shoulder. Nico hugged him back just as tightly, gripping the back of Will’s shirt.
“I think I understand a bit more,” Will whispered.
“I think I do too,” Nico responded.
Suddenly, Nico remembered that they were in the middle of breakfast, and practically the whole camp was still around them. Nico pulled away from the hug and looked around. The entire Apollo cabin was watching them curiously, and a few more campers from around the pavilion were watching them. Including Jason who was grinning ear to ear.
Nico blushed, “could we uh…” he suddenly felt extremely vulnerable and uncomfortable, “uhm…” he also suddenly forgot any sort of English that he knew.
“Let’s go somewhere more private,” Will whispered, his face just as red as Nico’s. Nico nodded and let Will pull him out of his seat. They quickly left the dining pavilion, knowing that there was probably already gossip being spread about the two of them.
Nico was starting to regret his decisions of settling their argument in the middle of breakfast, but the feeling of Will’s fingers intertwined with his own changed that thought.