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Will was 11 years old when he coughed up his first petal. It was thin and white and when he asked a child of Demeter about it later she told him it came from a lily.
It made his heart race and his breath catch as he stared at it in horror.
Every child of Apollo knew what coughing up petals meant; it was as ingrained into them as much as a love of the sun was.
It meant he was dying.
He’d run to his big brother Lee in tears and said that he didn’t want to die. The older son of Apollo had just ruffled his hair and comforted him.
“Chill little bro. It’s just one little petal. It just means you’ve got yourself a little crush. Who’s the lucky little camper?”
Will flushed at the question. There had been a boy who’d caught his eye recently; a newly arrived unclaimed demigod whose excitement over Mythomagic had driven Will into getting in debt with the Stolls in order to get a deck and a crash course in how to play.
Nico di Angelo; a boy who Will had wanted to know since he’d first laid eyes on him.
Just thinking about the other pre-teen made Will’s throat tickle as he fought down the urge to blush. Lee laughed at his brother’s reluctant redness and ruffled his curls. “You don’t need to worry about petals until you’re older little bro and only if you have a lot more than just one.”
Will let out a relieved breath and pocketed the petal with a smile. “Thanks Lee.”
“No problem kiddo. Why don’t you go round up the Hermes kids and tell them to head to the archery range for practice?”
“Okay.”
Will ran off to find those claimed by Hermes and those unclaimed who were housed among them.
But unbeknownst to him the boy he was most hoping to see most was already gone.
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Will was almost 13 when he coughed up his first handful of petals in a fit of tears and rage; fueled by grief and sorrow deeper than any he’d ever experienced before.
Right after watching a giant kill his brother Lee with his club; and seeing the boy he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about for nearly a year almost die trying to protect the camp.
Will felt useless and unworthy to even approach Nico di Angelo during the raven’s brief stay as he mourned his brother and swore to rededicate himself to the healing arts so that he wouldn’t lose another sibling like Lee had been lost.
When Nico left that time Will coughed up so many petals he thought he’d never get to inhale freely again without foliage rising up in his throat. So many that he flinched away from the flowers that laid atop his brother’s burial shroud before it was set ablaze.
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Will was 14 years old when history repeated itself. When he lost both a brother and Nico di Angelo all over again; when he puked up an entire flower for the first time.
He’d done his duty and healed Annabeth and all the other demigods that he could during the battle. He’d distracted monsters with deafening whistles and set up makeshift infirmaries all over the city to help his friends. He’d even gotten a chance to see Nico in battle; wielding a blade and commanding the dead with an ease that took Will’s breath away more so than even the petals in his throat.
Then, to Will’s heart’s delight, Nico stayed. He stayed at camp and Will knew he was finally going to his chance to actually be with the Italian again like he hadn’t been able to be since they were children.
He’d thought he’d have time.
He never expected by the time he’d finally cleared the infirmary of the last of the injured and established himself as the head counselor of his cabin that Nico would have vanished again.
Not until an entire lily landed on the doorstep of the newly made Hades cabin when Will discovered it was empty.
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Will knew that letting Nico fade might be the only way to save his own life; that it might be the only thing capable of stopping the petals from suffocating him, but he chose to save the son of Hades anyway.
Because just holding Nico’s hand and standing near him as they tried to stop the Romans from invading the camp made the son of Apollo feel like the searing pain in his chest was worth it. That he could endure it just to make sure that Nico was finally with him to stay; finally residing peacefully at camp like Will had always wanted.
So he hid his hacked up petals from Nico and his siblings and prayed that he might be worthy of the only real cure to his affliction.
Nico di Angelo’s love.
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Will was 16 when he realized that he’d never get to see his 17th birthday; when it became abundantly clear that his poor pinning heart would be the literal death of him.
Though he guessed a part of him had known that from the moment he’d held that first petal in his palm.
He was in love with the only son of Hades; and said prince of darkness could never love him back.
But really, what could Will expect? The last year had been a blissful hell of time spent with the head counselor of cabin 13; hours of banter and bickering between them until the head medic felt certain that his very breath was lily scented.
He hid it as best he could, pocketing petals and sucking on cough drops that didn’t do a thing to stop the foliage from rising from within him. Every day he woke up early just to puke his petals up in peace in the cabin bathroom and every night he stayed up late to pull the agonizingly stiff stems from his throat.
Soon he was hanging around the Demeter cabin whenever he could just so that he could drop petals from his pockets between coughing fits during the day without it looking suspicious.
But in the end his siblings found out in the worst possible way.
One night Will just couldn’t stop coughing; not after a day spent with the raven teen so total oblivious to his feelings.
He coughed into his pillow until he couldn’t breathe and the sound of his choking eventually woke his siblings up; siblings that stared in horror at the pool of petals surrounding their head counselor.
It took hours to calm the little ones down and get them back into bed, but Will’s older siblings weren’t as easily soothed.
Kayla was the first to drag him onto the porch of their cabin and pin him to the wall with both her arm and her glare. “Who the schist is it Will!? Who in the world are you literally killing yourself over?!”
When Will didn’t answer Austin stepped up and put a comforting hand on his free shoulder. “Bro, Kayla’s right, this is serious. You’re way past a few crushing and infatuation petals at this point. You’re into full blown love and you know how quickly it escalates once it gets to that stage.”
Will kept his gaze on the ground even as his hand gripped the single petal within it tighter. “There’s nothing you guys can do. I didn’t want to worry you.”
Kayla punched his shoulder hard.
“What Will? We were just supposed to think you were fine until we found you dead in your bed with freaking flowers growing out of your mouth?”
Austin nodded gravely in agreement. “Bro, if you tell us who it is we can talk to them, we can explain what’s happening-.”
“No.” Will cut him off sharply. “I won’t burden them with this, not when the fake reciprocation would only make it more painful. Plus you don’t understand; they could never love me. There’s no point in making them feel guilty for something that can’t be changed.”
“Will if you don’t tell them what’s happening to you you’ll just keep getting worse. Up until your only choices will be death…….or the surgery.”
All three went silent at the thought of that final option.
“I’d rather die.” Will finally whispered into the still night air.
“Will, be reasonable, if it’s the only alternative….”
“No.” The blonde repeated firmly. “That’s not a life worth living Kayla. Not if I can’t ever feel love again. I won’t lose what I feel for you guys or my mom or….. even them.”
Kayla was close to tears as she glared at him. “Then what the fuck are we supposed to do Will? Stand back and watch you die?”
Will reached out and touched her arm gently. “I need you to keep the little ones calm; to put on a brave face for their sakes. I’ve been getting things ready in the infirmary; my notes on all the campers are all organized and color coded. Elio has been shadowing me for weeks now in preparation for him taking over when the time comes.”
“He’s 9 Will. You expect him to be able to stitch up the next Stoll brother that loses an arm on the Lava wall?”
“He has some healing power.” Will argued weakly.
“Not like you Will. You’re the best healer the camp has ever had. Our siblings need you. The camp needs you…….Your mom needs you.”
Will looked away from her beseeching gaze before it burned him anymore than it already had.
“I’ve already told my mom what’s happening. She knows I want to be here until it’s over.”
Kayla let out a sound half growl and half sob as she pulled her older brother into a hug.
“Please Will. Please don’t leave us. We can find someone else for you to love.”
Will held her tightly to chest and tried to offer what little comfort he could.
“Kayla, I couldn’t stop loving them anymore than I could stop loving you.” Will explained as he stroked her hair. In a quieter whisper he apologized. “I’m sorry to make you lose another brother.”
Kayla sniffled before pulling out of his arms. After a long moment of staring at her blonde haired brother she scowled and turned on her heels.
“Screw the harpies, I’m going to the archery range.”
A moment later she was just a disappearing spot of red in the darkness as she went to get some of the frustration out of her in the safest way possible. Will offered a ghost of a smile at her retreating back; thankful for her anger. It would keep her going and fuel her in the days to come. Sadness would only slow her down and he needed her to be ready to lead after he was gone.
The thought brought memories back of losing his own older brothers and how he hadn’t been able to find the time to cry and collapse until months after they’d already journeyed to the Underworld. He hoped she would have time sooner to grieve since Austin would stand beside her, but it was her he expected to be the one to lead the younger children of Apollo in the years to come.
Austin remained on the porch and stared at his half-brother. “Will…..maybe if we talk to the Demeter cabin they can help. I mean there hasn’t been a case of one of the children of Apollo dying of this in decades. Maybe if you pray to Dad-.”
“I already talked to him.” Will admitted. “There’s nothing he can do.”
Austin clenched his fists and slammed one against their cabin.
“That’s bullshit. Will. He’s a god, you’re his son, there must be something-”
“Austin…” Will interrupted. “Dad told me he was sorry.”
That silenced the other teen as his whole frame drooped.
“Will…….you must have known that this could happen. Why didn’t you put distance between yourself and them when the first petals came?”
Will sagged against their cabin as he slid down the wall until he was a tight ball of sorrow on the ground. “I thought….I honestly thought that they could love me back.”
He’d stupidly thought that he had a chance at winning the son of Hades’ affection; had been so arrogant as to think that he was worthy of such a hero’s heart.
For the first time in so long tears filled the blonde’s eyes at the thought of just how much he loved Nico di Angelo. His laugh, his smile, even his well guarded heart. It just made Will feel more special when he got to see glimpses of how Nico truly felt. But Will knew the truth. Nico only thought of him as a friend and every time the raven reminded him of that Will had to excuse himself to cough up more petals.
He had to flee every time he saw Nico return Jason Grace’s hugs or flash Percy Jackson a flushed scowl. Every time he saw the raven lean his head against Reyna’s shoulder or trade Mythomagic cards with Frank without flinching away from the bulkier teen’s fingertips when they skimmed his skin.
He could have survived longer if those were all he had to bear witness to; if those friendly touches were all he had to endure. But they weren’t.
Not when Nico was so clearly in love with someone else.
Will had to close his eyes and purge his lungs after every glimpse of Nico di Angelo and his boyfriend; the bovine faced son of Hypnos who seemed to spend his literally every waking moment with the son of Hades.
It made the flowers grow so quickly inside him to see Clovis dozing atop a hilltop with Nico’s head in his lap. It destroyed his hope to see the other blonde run his fingers through his love’s hair and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. It sped up his inevitable death so much to see the boy he loved so willing to let another touch him so intimately.
Especially since he’d only been allowed to touch Nico for 4 days out of the 5 years he’d known him.
The day of the battle against Gaea when he’d been allowed to hold his beloved’s hands for the first time and the three blissful days in the infirmary he’d demanded of the son of Hades. After a last touch of Nico’s hand before he slipped through the infirmary door on his last promised day he never touched Will again.
A year of friendship and Will still wasn’t trusted enough to even touch the pale skin that haunted his dreams; to have his fingers graze over Nico’s hand when they played Mythomagic or have his shoulder serve as a shelf to the dozing demigod.
He would have given his last breath to be allowed just to run his fingers though the raven’s hair like he so often saw the son of Hypnos do.
But he didn’t regret loving Nico di Angelo.
Even if it would cost him his last breath.
“It was stupid, but gods Austin, I wouldn’t have traded a second of time with them for immortality itself.”
The obsidian skinned teen slumped against the railing of their porch and asked desperately; “What can I do to help you through this Will?”
The blonde thought for a moment before offering his brother a ghost of a smile. “Write me a dirge for my funeral. Something so sad the gods themselves will weep.”
Austin stood up straighter at that; accepting Will’s distraction as well as the blonde had hoped. “It’ll be beautiful brother.” The darker teen vowed solemnly before disappearing into the darkness himself to get to the music room and his saxophone.
Will just sat alone on the porch until his father had the sun peaking over the horizon; his gaze never leaving the slightly flickering flames of Cabin 13.
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Will knew he didn’t have long now. He could feel the flowers blooming inside him and ruining his lungs. It was all he could do to get himself into the infirmary before he collapsed beside a puked up pile of petals on the tiny cot in his office.
He felt so cold. So tired.
He was asleep before he even realized it; his dreams filled with pale skin and shadows.