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How did they end up like this?
Catra had never been the kind of person to talk about her emotions. She didn't even acknowledge them when confronted, even by her best friend, the one person she trusted the most. But suddenly, she was crying, reaching out for her into a glitch void that threatened to end with all they ever dreamed of. A trail of tears, a close hand, and her broken voice shook Adora out of her mind. Catra's face was an open book, fear, sadness, angst, and the bit of hope they both needed so desperately.
Adora had had time to think about them in all these past months. Hell, she definitely had though about her childhood friend more than she ever wanted to. First, it was longing, missing her while staying at the castle, among all those tall walls, those nice tapestries and bountiful foods that the palace offered her. Well, not her really, She-Ra. Catra would have laughed at her, that breathless giggle she always did. Adora really had hoped she could convince her into taking the princesses' side, with her. Next to her. Close.
Her heart was broken time after, and it didn't stop there. Every time they had to face each other Catra would try to push her to her limit, she definitely did not hesitate when it came to hurting the people Adora had come to love in those past months. Why was she like this, why did she want to destroy everything that meant so much to her. Weren't they friends? "Best" friends? She couldn't figure the girl that stood in front of her, weapon in hand, anymore. After all those fights, Adora would come home with Glitter and Bow, talking about their next move, joking with each other, bringing her spirits up, close to her. So why did she feel like this. Lonely, miserable, and again, heartbroken. After all those times fighting Catra, her heart still ached at the mere vision of her, each time she pinned down and mocked her for being too weak, too sensitive, too emotional. And maybe it was true, Adora did feel like her heart was going to burst when Catra touched her, her skin tickling her inner wrists bringing back to when they cuddled in the same bed, the room filled with Catra's deep breaths. Too many memories were buried in her mind, threatening to compromise her mission to save the world, or at least, She-Ra's mission.
After a certain time, Adora came in terms with the idea of Catra being lost forever. Unlike those past times, she couldn't see her closest friend anymore in those miss-matched eyes filled with rage every time they battled. It would be for the best, she told herself. If Catra had chosen to give up on her, she might as well give up on her too... on them. What were they even? Just two children thinking the world was theirs, dreaming about living free one day, commanding armies, looking out for each other, the best fighters in the whole world. Stupid thoughts that would be forgotten once both grew up anyway. If Catra wanted to play the sworn enemies’ game then be it. She had a destiny to fulfill, whether the other girl wanted or not. She wasn't going to let her hurt anyone ever anymore, it wasn't fair. No one deserved that. She would defend all those innocent people from Catra's sadistic wishes to dominate the world and thirst for control. She would stop their hurting, their fears and restless nights, surrounded by war and injustice.
And then, maybe, she could fall asleep one night at peace, without having thoughts of long gone candid touches, beautiful and broken laughter filling the room, a constant warmth next to her when lying down, the whispers that fell into the curve of her neck when no one was around.
Between all that war and suffering, losing loved ones, and watching friends giving everything they got to fight for the same cause that she did, Adora finally found some peace of mind at night. Being restless and afraid of major catastrophes made her fall asleep almost immediately whenever she had the opportunity to lay down. All that background noise about a lost friend was starting to look like nonsense compared to everything that was happening in the world. She had stopped falling asleep with warm and quiet tears rolling out of her blue eyes fixed to the ceiling. She also stopped waking up to a voice reminding her she wasn't there anymore. That she would not come back. That Catra was, in the best-case scenario, the enemy. Those emotions didn't have a place in her preoccupations anymore since she was She-Ra again, she had found herself and her legacy, her real past. She had to save the world. For her friends, for the innocent, for the ones who went away, for Mara, for... she held her breath. The trail of thoughts always seemed to come back to the same place, but as before, Adora knew better than to think about the impossible.
Did she hurt her? Did she really abandon her siding with the people they had been training to fight all that time? Adora could understand the distrust at first but... wasn't she good enough for her to follow that path? Could she have done anything differently? Could she have chased Catra through the depths of the Horde before she turned into this villain that was so ready to end her every time they crossed paths?
No. No, she wouldn't fall for this again. It was useless, thinking about what it could have been, the moments they could have shared, through the luminous halls of the palace, through vibrant green fields crowned with spring flowers, watching the sunrise together sneaking out to train inside the ancient ship, laughing so hard Adora would snort and Catra would tease her making the same sound, rolling through the floor tickling each other in some spare room they used to hide from the guards. Her face, filled with that mischievous grin that made Adora's head spin just a little bit, and those bright eyes that would show her tenderness when least expected. Her hands, grabbing her shoulders, her hips, her face, even though it was just a moment, but that moment, Adora always felt like she would have given everything away to stay like that. But no. No, it could not be. That was it. No good could come out of thinking about her like this. She was done with putting up with that broken... relationship they had. Catra had already chosen a side that did not involve her in any other way than pure hatred, and she definitely did not want to be the fool chasing a maniac that wished her dead. Even if Catra had smiled at her so intimately a long time ago, even if she had brushed her hair and told her she looked nice with her hair down, even if she was the only one that could make her crack a laugh like that, even if sometimes she found herself daydreaming about closing the gap between them when they touched foreheads while sparring. No one had made her feel like that. Not even her friends. Did that mean that even back there, Catra wasn't her friend? Well, they had called each other best friends but...
It wasn't important anymore. Whatever Catra meant to her, Adora was sure she was not important for her anymore. That was the hard truth, and yes, she had tried to bring her back, but she was so, so tired. It wouldn't work, no matter how much she thought about it. She had better things to fight for, people who truly... loved her. And that was it.
That's why, when Catra's voice echoed through the ship's communicator, Adora felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, the air in her lungs scaping all at once through a loud gasp. Catra was sending them Glimmer? Catra was -saving- Glimmer? Why? How? Catra, Catra PLEASE. She was there, helping her, asking for them to scape. How could she be doing this, just like that, after all this time...she wanted to sacrifice herself for one of her rival's friends. Were they rivals at this point? Adora didn't care. Catra had told her to don't come back for her, that she was sorry. For everything. Adora wasn't taking her bullshit anymore, or anyone's at this point. She was not going to let her best friend die in some distant ship in the cold universe. She couldn't lose her again.
That's why, when she saw her, standing in that dammed ship, her unruly hair chopped off, her eyes reflecting the green light of Prime Hordak's mind control... she couldn't ignore the heartache anymore.
Neither when the chip was damaged and she carried her in her arms, scaping from her real enemy.
Not even when She-Ra's magic blossomed out of her body and filled Catra's figure, bringing her back.
Not when she opened her eyes and weakly smiled at her.
"Hey, Adora..."
Adora knew, after all that time. There was no way she could stop feeling like this for Catra.
Not many things mattered at that point. She-Ra was supposed to be a sacrifice in order to save the world. Wait, not She-Ra, Adora. She couldn't fulfill her mission because She-Ra wouldn't connect with her anymore. But she still had a fate to meet, whether she liked or not. But Mara...Mara had told her she didn't want to die either. That she did it so Adora didn't have to. Because she should be able to meet her friends again, to taste victory, to hold the most important person in her life. She imagined what a perfect future they could have, in new robes, teasing Glimmer and Bow about anything, really. To see her, happy, looking straight into her eyes, with that smile, the one that made her feel everything.
How beautiful would it be...
"You have to wake up"
Catra.
"You've never given up on anything in your life..."
Catra, please.
"... not even on me"
Everything felt wrong. She really wanted to fight for everyone. She had hoped to be strong enough for this moment. But her will was weakening with each second, leaving her body cold and distant, alone, unreachable-
"Don't you get it?"
...
"I love you"
A breath of life seemed to pass through Adora's body. She-Ra's shield emerged from her hand, protecting Catra's body. Her palm rested on her back.
Catra, of all people.
Catra had said the one thing Adora always dreamed of. The one she had been so afraid to even imagine because the thought of her feeling the same way as she did always felt... like a stupid kid's fantasy.
"You...love me?"
Giggles.
"You're such an idiot"
Adora stared into her eyes.
"I love you too"
Catra's hand scooped her face. Adora smiled back. She was in love with her best friend. And she loved her back. Their faces came closer, warmth pouring from their red cheeks. Adora could have sworn she had actually dreamed about this exact moment, the two of them so close they could feel their breaths on each others’ lips. Except that, of course, this was real.
Catra made Adora feel like everything. And the way she kissed her, at the end of the world, chipped lips mixed with all they ever felt for each other, made Adora invincible.