Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Running out of time. Running out of patience. Running out of chances. Running out of reasons to be.

Running. Always running. TK Strand is so sick of it all but he can never get away.

TK’s feet slam hard against the concrete beneath him, his lungs and legs burning in protest. His eyes are watering but he pushes on until he can no longer hold out. He stops on the bridge, his breathing labored. TK hunches over, clutching at his knees to keep from toppling over. He feels sick to his stomach, as if at any moment he could just heave everything that’s inside of him. He wants to be cleansed, to start fresh but there’s too much of the old broken bits to give rise to something new.

There’s a sharp stitch in his side that feels like something’s caught flame. He exhales sharply and grabs at his side with one hand, yanking out his earbuds with the other. He can hear the tinny pitch of music playing but it’s so far away and removed that it’s truly just background noise.

He struggles to get air into his lungs. It feels as if the night is swallowing him whole. His mind is a kaleidoscope of ugly thoughts bursting in such vivid color. All that he’s left behind in New York, or rather, what walked away from him. Maybe it’s a panic attack, he thinks. As if he needs one more goddamn thing to worry about.

“Dammit,” he hisses. He’s pushed himself too far. That’s become something of a theme for him these days more than ever. TK licks his dry lips and tries to count his breaths, repeating the mantra of in through your nose, out through your mouth. He feels ridiculous for having to give himself clear instructions on how to be a functioning human but he’s a little out of practice it seems.

TK shifts his position, grabbing onto the railing on the bridge and looking out over at the river. Even at this hour he can make out the shape it’s carved into the earth. He listens, eyes closed, to the soft gurgling below, focusing on that sound alone to help reel him back in.

“Sir, is everything okay?” a man’s voice calls out on TK’s right. He turns at the sound, knowing it can only be directed at him.

Had he really not noticed a patrol car pull up behind him or a cop approaching him?

He’s brought up short at the sight of a uniformed officer backlit by one of the park’s lamps, a warm orange glow around him. He can only imagine what this must look like to the officer. TK himself has been to several calls that looked similar to this one and he could easily guess the cop must have been concerned he was setting up to jump.

“Have you been hurt?” the officer tries again when TK doesn’t offer an immediate response.

TK almost laughs at this. Yes, officer. I’ve been eviscerated. I’ve had my heart snatched clean out of my chest and it’s nothing short of a miracle that I’m even standing here with you right now. Can’t you see me bleeding out right in front of you? Could you arrest someone for breaking me down to nothing?

Yes, he has been hurt but not in the sense the cop must be thinking. Heart break doesn’t count as an emergency even though it’s one of the most pressing concerns in TK’s life at the moment. He pulls away from the railing and drops his hands at his sides, willing them to stop shaking. Appearing erratic now certainly won’t help his case and will only prolong this interaction.

“I’m alright, officer,” he says in the clearest voice he can muster. “Just got a little winded from my run. Thought I’d take a minute to get myself together.”

The officer lingers for a moment, undoubtedly assessing the situation critically to determine if he needs to intervene further or if he can let TK go without much incident. TK stares back at the officer as he does this, cataloging him in turn.

He’s an attractive guy, TK notes offhandedly. The man fills out his uniform impeccably, all broad shoulders, strong chest, and firm biceps. He’s got a handsome face with intense brown eyes and perfect bow shaped lips. These are things TK tries not to notice but it’s impossible not to, even in his erratic state. TK keeps his demeanor still but not too rigid in the hopes that he comes off as casual and airy.

The walkie on the officer’s shoulder crackles to life. “Officer Reyes, what’s your location?” dispatch calls.

Officer Reyes keeps his eyes fixed on TK as he lifts a hand to the walkie and replies. “Richard Moya Park.”

TK is finding it difficult not to squirm under Reyes’ gaze. He’s never met someone who can maintain eye contact for this long without cracking. Luckily for him, dispatch continues speaking and Reyes finally looks away. As much as TK doesn’t like the idea of someone out there needing emergency assistance, he’s relieved when he hears Reyes is needed at a nearby house for a B&E call.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Reyes asks one more time.

TK looks him directly in his warm eyes, noting the way the skin pinches in between the man’s brows in concern. It’s a kindness TK isn’t sure he’s really worthy of but he appreciates it all the same.

“Yes, officer. I’m good. Thank you though.”

“You take care of yourself, alright?” Reyes says.

“Yeah, you too,” TK replies at the man’s retreating figure. He watches as the officer makes his way back to his squad car, not missing the glance he makes over in TK’s direction before climbing in and driving off.

TK watches until the wash of red taillights disappears, the officer with it. He turns back to look out over the river and marvels at it. He thinks about how beautiful and dangerous it can be, not unlike love.

No, TK doesn’t want to jump but he wants to live in this moment a while longer, where everything is quiet and he’s alone. It’s not hard getting lost in the notion that it could always be like this. A part of him believes it would be safer this way. Loving someone turned out to be the greatest addiction, one he hasn’t fully recovered from. For him love turned out to be a sickness, a parasite that fed off of him until there was nothing left to give. It moved on and found a new host without so much as a second thought on what it would reduce him to.

TK holds onto the railing with both hands again and stretches, his forehead coming to rest against the bar. The mind is a tricky thing. Even with thousands of miles between him and Alex, his brain can’t tell the difference. He may as well be seated across from the man at dinner, a stupid ring hidden in his sweaty palm. Everything is still too raw and TK feels like he’s constantly working to scrub his mind clean.

Frustrated, he stands upright again, slips his earbuds in and queues up some music. If he can’t shut his brain off, the least he can do now is keep his body in motion. He breaks out into a sprint, imagining himself this time not running away from the past but running towards something greater just up ahead.

“I didn’t hear you come in last night,” Owen says in lieu off a proper greeting as TK enters the kitchen. He’s chopping up fruits and vegetables for one of his signature morning smoothies in the center of the space.

TK snags a few grapes from the bowl on the island and pops them into his mouth. “Yeah, I didn’t want to wake you when I got in. Figured you deserved some uninterrupted sleep.”

Owen searches his face and TK does a masterful job of keeping his expression even, not missing the fact that someone else—a cop no less—gave him the same once over just a few hours ago.

“I’m fine, dad,” he blurts out at the same time Owen asks him if he’s okay.

He laughs lightly at the exchange and shakes his head. “Seriously, I actually had a great run. It, uh, took me out of my head for a bit which was nice.”

Owen looks on for a beat before nodding and offering a smile. TK can practically see the gears turning in his father’s mind, pitting what he sees before him with what TK has shared. He can’t say that he blames his father. He’s given him plenty of reason over the years to worry at even the smallest provocation. But TK is being truthful. After running for what felt like hours, he finally got some semblance of calm that carried over into the morning. Today was going to be a good day, he’d decided when he woke up.

“That’s great, son.” Owen goes back to his smoothie making, the kitchen filling with the mechanical whirring of the blender for a few moments. He takes down two glasses from the cupboard and pours some of the mixture out into both, handing one over to TK who murmurs his thanks.

“Any plans for the day?” his dad asks, taking a generous sip.

“I’ve got a group meeting at two. After that I think I’ll do a little sightseeing downtown. It’d be nice to find a few spots. Maybe I’ll swing by the station and say hi to everyone for a bit.”

TK still feels unmoored in Austin. Without work or even a group of friends he can turn to, he’s been finding it a bit difficult to get his footing in a new town. He’s spoken at great length with his new AA group about the loneliness he’s been experiencing but he’d hardly call any of those people his friends. They’re too close to his inner thoughts for him to see them as anything other than sounding boards, certain that the feeling is mutual. What he’d love more than anything would be to find a place he can call his own in this new home. It’s only been a month so he tries to remind himself to be patient. Trust the process.

“You know you’re welcome anytime. Soon enough you’ll be there for good,” his father replies. TK takes comfort in that. He wants to get back to being a firefighter. He misses being part of something bigger than himself but right now, he knows he needs time. The last thing he wants to be is a liability to the team or jump back into something he’s not actually ready for.

“I hope so.”

“I know it,” Owen says, giving TK’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. TK’s eyes catch on his family name engraved on his father’s chest. Soon, he thinks to himself. Soon there will be two Strands at the 126.

“You should get going. You don’t want to be late.”

Owen glances to the time on the stove. “Ah, you’re right.” He starts to pick up his glass and a knife he used to cut vegetables but TK waves him off.

“Go, I’ve got it covered.”

Owen flashes a grateful smile before hugging TK and heading off for the day. TK listens for the sound of the front door closing and sighs heavily when it clicks into place. It’s so final like a period at the end of a sentence. The silence presses on TK briefly but he snaps out of it, moving about the kitchen and finding a rhythm as he works to clean the space, making quick work of washing up all the dishes and cleaning the blender out too.

Once he’s done, he leaves the kitchen and heads to the bathroom, ready to get himself cleaned up to start his day, intent on making it a good one.

When his father initially told him of the plan to move to Austin, TK had his reservations. New York was the only home he’d ever known and he took great pride in being from there. It was quite literally a badge of honor to be a part of the FDNY. The people at his station were his heart and soul. He had a lifetime worth of connections and ties to the city. But a significant part of it felt tainted now. It was crazy to think how one person could spoil so much, making the city he loved more than anything into something he felt he needed to distance himself from.

He hates how often his mind runs back to his ex but it's inevitable. For each day he wakes up to four walls that aren’t his bedroom in Manhattan, he's reminded of why he's living down in Texas now. TK wonders how long it will take for this to wear off. A month should have been ample time and yet…

There’s no time to dwell on that just yet. The AA group gathers and TK is happy to note that his good mood from early is still very much in place. He had his doubts originally that he would be able to find a group he liked but he lucked out big time with this set.

He sits and talks and listens for two hours, feeling a bit lighter in his chest. Today had already started on a positive note and it seems like the universe is trying to make up for whatever it was that happened out on the bridge. He actually brought himself to discuss it all with his group, even down to the unexpected run in with a cop.

With the rest of the day completely his, TK makes good on his agenda and heads downtown. There’s an ease to being alone today that wasn’t there for him last night—a telltale sign his mind is in a much better place. He walks along, window shopping for a bit before making his way to a boba spot he found last time he was in the area. He orders up his favorite and pays, makes small talk with the girls behind the counter as they work on his drink. Once it’s done, he thanks them, dropping money into the tip jar and grabbing a straw on his way out.

He’s busy unwrapping the straw that he doesn’t see the man walking toward him.

“Hey,” a familiar voice said.

TK pops the straw through and looks up, freezing at the sight of the cop he met last night.

“Hi…Officer Reyes, right?”

“Carlos, actually. But yes,” he replies, extending his hand.

Seeing the officer in streetwear is a little disorienting for TK. For the briefest of seconds it feels as if he had somehow made their exchange up, like Dorothy waking up from her dream and juxtaposing fantasy and real life.

“Carlos. I’m TK,” he introduces, accepting Carlos’ hand and shaking it twice before letting it go. “God, how small is this town?”

“Not from around here then I take it?”

“No, I’m a New York transplant,” he answers. Carlos’ brows raise quickly.

“Nice, well. Welcome to Austin.”

“Thanks. It’s not so bad.”

Carlos teasingly rolls his eyes to this. “I’ll let that slide for now,” he laughs. “It’s good to see you again. I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure I made the right call in leaving you last night but you seem alright now.”

TK rubs the back of his neck with his free hand and brings his drink to his mouth, taking a sip of boba from the straw.

“You had nothing to worry about but I appreciate the concern.”

Carlos hits him with that intense eye contact TK is already learning might just be common practice for the guy. It doesn’t make him uncomfortable, necessarily, but it does make him wonder what it is that Carlos sees or what the man is even looking for in the first place. Whatever it is, he seems content with what he finds because his face soon relaxes and an easy smile spreads across his lips. It’s all terribly distracting.

Focus, the voice in the back of TK’s head reprimands. Swooning over an attractive guy is not a road he needs to travel down right now, especially given what he barely got through this last month. But maybe it isn’t the worst thing in the world if he can appreciate the beauty of someone. Maybe, in fact, it’s a good sign, a hint that he’s making some tangible progress. It’s more than TK is able to unpack right now so he tucks the thought away to analyze later.

“How long have you been in Austin?”

“Just a month. It’s been…interesting. Still trying to get my bearings here.”

Carlos licks his lips and pinches them together before speaking. “Well, if you need a friend or even just a tour guide to show you some fun places, I’d be happy to help. I know a ton of great spots you might like.”

As far as offers goes, this just might be the most tempting TK’s ever gotten.

“I’ll take you up on that.” He fishes his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, bringing up his contact list before handing it over to Carlos.

This is the most impulsive thing he’s done since coming to Austin but hadn’t he just said this morning that he was in dire need of making new friends and seeing new places?

Carlos hands it back once he’s done and TK instantly shoots him a text.

NYC > Austin

Carlos reaches for his phone after it chimes from his pocket and scoffs at the message on his screen. “Careful now. I just might have to block you and I haven’t even saved your number yet.”

“Ah, but you will. You’re the one that signed yourself up to be my friend. There’s no going back now.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

TK feels a tingle run up the length of his spine, his mouth hanging open slightly. He appreciates someone with quick wit and Carlos apparently doesn’t disappoint. TK’s mouth ticks up in a half smile, an expression Carlos mirrors effortlessly. It feels like a challenge has just been issued and TK doesn’t play to lose.

Getting out there and meeting new people. This could be a very good thing.

Chapter Text

Two days of casual texting since running into Carlos earlier in the week has led TK to trying out what Carlos promises to be the best meal he’ll ever have. It’s a pretty tall order but TK is more than willing to test out Carlos’ theory. After all, it means actual face to face time with the man he’s quite eager to know better.

Carlos steps up to the truck and begins talking with the staff in Spanish, conversing and placing their orders. TK’s understanding of the language goes as far as twelfth grade and even still, he barely remembers much aside from the basics. He’s only able to piece together a few bits here and there. Regardless, it doesn’t take much for him to see that Carlos is truly a regular at this truck and that the staff genuinely likes him. That doesn’t come as a surprise to TK. Carlos is kindhearted and people like that tend to draw in others like the sun.

As they wait for their order, TK takes in the area around him, the sights, the sounds, and of course the smells. His stomach is practically doing flips and growling the longer he stands around breathing in the delicious smells of meat and peppers and whatever else is being made inside each neighboring truck.

“Come here often?” he muses, using the cheesy pickup line to kick off conversation.

Carlos laughs and nods. “Yeah, it’s my absolute favorite in all of Travis County. It might actually be better than my tía Lucy’s. But if you ever tell her I said that, I will have no other choice but to lie and say I have no idea what you’re referring to.”

TK mimes zipping his lips, tossing away the imaginary key for good measure. “Your secret’s safe with me, I promise.”

Carlos is about to speak when one of the ladies inside the truck calls his name. He turns and heads back to the truck, thanking her and taking the food she hands over. TK spots an empty bench and hurries over to it, taking a seat, Carlos sitting right across from him a few seconds later.

“God, this smells amazing,” TK notes, unwrapping his burrito from its foil and taking a considerable bite. He stifles a moan but doesn’t shy away from tossing his head back. “Holy shit, that’s incredible.”

Carlos laughs at the theatrics. “Like I said, hands down the best in town.”

“I definitely have to come back here soon. Is tomorrow too sudden?” he jokes.

They fall into a comfortable silence as they eat. Every now and then he looks over at Carlos and on some instances, he finds the other man glancing at him too.

“So, what is that you do?” Carlos asks conversationally after a time.

TK licks his lips, pulling in the lower one. It’s a harmless question, in general, but for TK it’s actually a loaded one. When making the move down to Austin, he also made the tough decision not to hop back into work. The time for himself is certainly needed but it makes him anxious thinking about having to explain why he isn’t currently part of the 126.

“I’m a firefighter. Or I was. I’m taking a bit of a break right now,” he finally settles on. It’s a half truth as he hasn’t fully explained but the last thing he wants is to unload all his drama on a man he’s only just met a few days ago.

Carlos considers his words and nods, dipping one of his chips into salsa. TK prepares himself for an onslaught of follow-up questions but they never come. Instead, Carlos gives a response he wasn’t expecting at all.

“I can understand that,” he says, popping the chip into his mouth and making quick work of finishing it off before he speaks again. “What we do isn’t easy. Sometimes you need to take time to recharge before heading back out there again. In order to really help others, we have to be at our best.”

TK can only stare at him. He was so sure Carlos was going to hound him with questions about what prompted the break but instead he opted not to pry at all. TK wasn’t used to that sort of thing. Most people would make it their personal mission to find out the details but not Carlos. Relief soon washes over TK.

“Yeah, definitely. I plan on getting back into the swing of things soon, though. Until then, I just live vicariously through my dad. He’s the new captain over at the 126. Whenever I’m ready, I’ll be working alongside him.”

A part of TK is chomping at the bit to get back to his old routine but he knows he still needs a bit more time to feel as if he’s standing on solid, stable ground again.

“Wait, seriously? My best friend is the EMS captain there.”

“Michelle Blake? No way, I’ve met her a few times. She seems pretty great.”

Carlos nods enthusiastically and laughs. “Damn, maybe you’re right and this town really is too small,” he muses, TK not missing the reference back to their conversation outside the boba shop.

“See? Six degrees of separation is too high of a count for this place.”

Carlos tosses a chip at him but TK is fast and swats it down to the table.

“Jerk. Is that any way to treat your new friend? You wouldn’t want to go giving me the wrong impression of your precious Austin, now would you?”

Carlos makes a face and it’s undoubtedly one of the cutest things TK has ever seen.

“You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?”

“Oh, man,” TK laughs, “you have no idea.”

At lunch, TK finds himself incapable of looking away from his screen. He and Carlos have been chatting since morning with Carlos sending him updates and random pictures of odd things he sees while out shopping with his aunt Lucy. TK has seen everything from ridiculous items for sale at a thrift store to Carlos frowning in a chair with Lucy’s purse on his lap, reflected in the store’s mirror while his aunt is in the changing room. This most recent image is instantly followed with a text reading “SOS!”

TK grins at his phone, zooming in on Carlos’ face. The furrowed brows, the pleading brown eyes, the pout. It’s almost too much for him to handle.

“Earth to TK. Are you with me here, bud?” Owen says.

TK snaps his head upward, finally tearing his eyes away from his phone. “What’s that now?”

Owen shakes his head and laughs, lightly kicking at his leg. “My god, where is your head today?”

TK smiles bashfully and shakes his head. “Right here on my shoulders.”

“Could have fooled me. I could have sworn I saw it floating in the clouds. What’s going on with you?”

TK opens his mouth to speak but closes it back, shifting in his seat to turn to face his father. Try as he might, TK cannot erase the wide smile that breaks across his lips the second he looks at him, his thoughts already filling up so deeply with images of Carlos’ face. A part of him feels silly for being this caught up with someone he’s just befriended but he and Carlos have spoken every day for the last two weeks. Carlos is truly his first and last thought each day. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all in one breath just how much they’ve grown close to each other. It leaves TK’s head spinning.

“You met someone, didn’t you?” Owen says, his grin mirroring his son’s perfectly.

“Wow, you beat me to it.”

“To be fair, it wasn’t exactly a hard guess to make. Tell me all about him.”

TK draws in a deep breath to collect himself. “His name is Carlos and he is…kind of unreal,” he laughs. He can feel his cheeks warming up. “I don’t know. We talk all the time and it’s just…nice? Normal. It’s good to have a friend in this city.”

“A friend, hmm.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Owen holds up his hands, letting out a playful laugh. “Nothing, nothing. Friends are great to have but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get this worked up over one before.”

“Yeah, well, Carlos is a special friend. It’s different with him.”

“Oh, I’m sure it is,” his father says, lifting his brows.

“Seriously, it’s not like that. At least it can’t be right now.”

Owen’s smile fades from his face as he looks at his son and TK can feel a sinking sensation in his chest. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a less than platonic pull towards Carlos but the man knew nothing of his last relationship and the major impact it had on him. There were still so many secrets, ugly truths that TK hadn’t shared yet and was, truthfully, terrified to ever do so. Things with Carlos were light and carefree. For someone like TK who had been living so long with a darkness in him, he wanted to preserve this kind of joy for as long as possible. He thought perhaps it made him selfish to a certain degree but he couldn’t help it. For the first time in over a month, he felt weightless. A feeling like that was too rare and he was in no position to pass it up.

“Why do you say that?”

TK scoffs and shakes his head. “Come on, dad. We both know why we’re down here in the first place. Look at what happened the last time I fell hard for someone.”

“But look at how far you’ve come since then,” his father counters. “Look, you may have a real chance at something great here, whatever it may be. It’s been over a month now, TK. I think it’s time you start taking some wins. You’ve more than earned them. I haven’t seen you this happy in ages.”

TK swallows the lump in his throat, the guilt that rises like bile. His life and actions didn’t only have consequences he had to face. While he knew his father didn’t hold it against him, TK couldn’t help but to feel responsible for them upending their lives and moving away from home.

“I don’t want to wreck this. Carlos is a good guy. Genuinely good, you know? I don’t want to mess that up or put anything bad on him. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Owen searches his face but TK can’t bear it and looks away, back to his plate.

“Tell me about him. How’d you two even meet?”

TK hesitates, fumbling with his fork and turning it over in his hand. He still hasn’t mentioned his panic attack out on the bridge that night. After all, he’d returned home in a better mood than when he left and had been fine in the weeks since so it didn’t seem like something worth mentioning or making his father concerned over. But now, being asked so plainly about how he met Carlos, it feels like something he needs to disclose. TK was skilled at hiding things but he made a vow to himself on the plane ride from JFK to Austin-Bergstrom Airport that he’d truly turn over a new leaf and maintain transparency with his father going forward.

He licks his lips and clears his throat before speaking, avoiding his father’s gaze until he finally speaks.

“When I went out running a few weeks back, I sort of…had a moment. My head was kinda all over the place and I needed a break.”

Owen shifts in his seat, his eyes glued on his son. It was such a bittersweet thing having a father that cared so much at times. On one hand, TK was comforted in knowing that his dad was always willing to listen but on the other, it made him dread his father hearing all the less than pleasant things he had to say from time to time.

“What do you mean?”

TK sets his fork down. “I don’t know. I was thinking a lot about Alex and it just got to feel like too much so I stopped out on the bridge to get myself together.”

“TK—”

“God, no! Not like that. Sorry.” TK sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. “It just so happened that I stopped there. I swear, dad. Anyway, clearly it looked troubling because Carlos was on duty and he came up to me to make sure everything was alright. He got called away to an active B&E and I thought that was the last time I’d see him. But literally the next day, after group, we bumped into each other downtown and exchanged numbers.”

Owen settles back against his seat, his fingers splayed on the dining room table. TK watches the parade of emotions that flit across his father’s face from fear to uncertainty to controlled hurt.

“I should have told you more about that night,” TK admits. “I just didn’t want you to worry. I’m so tired of making you worry.”

Owen places a hand on TK’s shoulder and gives it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

“Whether you tell me everything or not, I’m always going to worry. That just comes with the gig of being a dad. But what makes it easier is if we’re on the same page at all times.”

TK meets his father’s gaze and nods, worrying his bottom lip. Owen sighs softly and drops his hand, trading a concerned look for a warm smile.

“So, Carlos is a cop. What an interesting first responder pair you guys make,” he teases.

TK is glad for the joke as it alleviates some of the tension in his chest. He laughs and rolls his eyes.

“It’s crazy; what are the odds, right?”

Something warm glints in his father’s eyes and TK is almost moved to tears because of it. He can admit he’s been particularly hard on himself over the last month and a half, so convinced that he shouldn’t even allow himself to move on from Alex. He feared he wasn’t ready and that he couldn’t be trusted. But already, in such a short time, he was willing to give a part of himself to Carlos. He didn’t stand much of a chance, in truth. He couldn’t imagine a single person who wouldn’t be disarmed by the other man.

Owen searches his face for a moment as TK focuses back on their conversation.

“Looks like the tide’s starting to turn for you down here in Austin; things are really picking up. Maybe meeting Carlos is just the thing to make you more comfortable.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he parrots. I hope, he thinks.

The next day TK is in his room folding laundry when his phone lights up on his bed. TK cranes his neck to read the text from Carlos.

Hey, you busy tonight?

TK puts down the shirt in his hand and grabs his phone to reply, seeing that Carlos is already typing out another message to him. He waits for it to come in.

If you are, feel free to ignore me. I know it’s kind of short notice to be making plans.

TK can only roll his eyes to this. How many times and how many ways does he have to show Carlos he has nothing else going on in the Austin? And even if he did, Carlos would always be the better option; any plans he may have had could easily be tossed to the backburner.

Ah, yes, let me check my oh so busy schedule. Please hold.

A few seconds later he sends:

Hmm, sitting around the house doing nothing. Online shopping. Scrolling through social media right before bed...yeah, sorry. Booked solid for the evening, I’m afraid

He takes a moment to appreciate his own humor before his phone is vibrating with an incoming call from Carlos.

“How may I help you?” he greets.

“Do you make it your mission every day to be a pain in the neck?” Carlos’ voice is so light and teasing it makes TK’s heart clench in his chest. He wonders if he’ll ever get used to the way they complement each other so perfectly.

“We all have special skills in life. One of mine just happens to be pushing your buttons, what can I say?”

Carlos groans and sighs. “What have I gotten myself into?” There’s no bite to it. If anything, TK can practically see the smile he knows is painted on Carlos’ lips right now.

“I told you there was no going back. So, what’s going on tonight?”

“Ah, right. I thought we could hang out and I could take you to one of my favorite bars downtown.”

TK’s shoulders stiffen at the mention of a bar. He hasn’t stepped foot in one in what feels like forever. He knows he isn’t obligated to drink and that Carlos probably wouldn’t even notice or care if he didn’t indulge. It’s just been easier to eliminate the temptation by steering clear altogether. But a Friday night out with Carlos isn’t something he can shy away from, especially not when Carlos sounds excited to share something special to him.

“Yeah, I could go for that,” he replies.

“Yeah? Great. I’ll text you the address and we could meet up around 9 or so. I hope you’re ready for some dancing.”

“Is this going to be a hoedown? A real, genuine Texan hoedown?”

Carlos’ laugh is strong and clear. TK feels like patting himself on the back for job well done. His favorite thing these last two weeks has been making that sound come about. It does something to his heart to know that Carlos is happy, mainly because of him.

“Yup. I’m looking forward to seeing your moves, New York.”

“I won’t disappoint. I can promise you that much.”

“I never had a doubt.”

TK opens his mouth to reply but can’t. His heart is racing and all he can picture is the two of them out on the dancefloor, moving together. It’s an image that lays down roots in his mind and grows so large it’s all he can see.

“Damn, I have to get back to work but I’ll see you tonight, alright?” Carlos says, bringing TK back to the present moment. “I’ll send you the address in just a minute. See ya.”

The call ends before TK can even get a word out but he figures that’s for the best. Carlos has managed to stun him into silence, a feat not many people are capable of.

So maybe his budding friendship is proving to have more weight to it than he wants it to. All the telltale signs of a crush are there, regardless of if TK is ready for them to be or not. It’s not as if he had much of a choice, he reasons. Right from the start Carlos caught his eye and every day that they’ve spoken since has only served to strengthen that. The other man would make such offhanded remarks but TK had to wonder if Carlos was even aware or if it just came by so naturally that he truly didn’t notice. TK wasn’t sure which he preferred.

If Carlos wasn’t being intentional in his flirting, then they were truly just friends and he could be okay with that. Simply having someone to talk to so frequently that wasn’t related to him was a major win. But if there was some sort of hidden code behind his words, TK was almost nervous about uncovering it. In a life post-Alex, he hadn’t been prepared for the possibility of meeting someone he could actually see himself with. But maybe he was alone in thinking there was even something here. And that, TK knew above anything else, was the worst conclusion of all.

“I don’t know what I was expecting but this wasn’t it,” TK says as he and Carlos enter the bar.

“Maybe you’ve seen too many movies? It’s clouding your judgement.” Carlos bumps his shoulder lightly against TK’s arm.

“You might have a point there.”

It’s a lively night and the place is comfortably filled with people already out on the dance floor, moving along to the music being played by a live band in the corner. TK stays close to Carlos’ side even though the place isn’t that crowded and they aren’t likely to get separated. But Carlos doesn’t seem bothered by their proximity. He merely throws a warm smile over his shoulder at him as he leads them to the bar and TK does his best not to melt right there on the spot.

“What are you drinking?” Carlos asks, holding up his fingers to signal the bartender.

“I’m good with mineral water for now,” he replies casually, his eyes fixed on Carlos to see his reaction but the man simply nods and orders for them when the bartender comes over, opening a tab.

If there’s one thing TK has been learning about Carlos these last few weeks is that he doesn’t push in the way virtually everyone else he knows would have. TK appreciates that more than he’ll probably ever be able to express to Carlos.

He takes the glass Carlos hands him, slick with condensation and thanks him. TK is unable to pull his eyes away from Carlos’ mouth as it takes a sip from his beer bottle, his throat going a little dry. He soothes it with a swig of his mineral water and averts his gaze and instead focuses on something safer like the crowd of people dancing. The music becomes a bit more folky and the footwork a bit more intricate but TK is fairly confident he can follow along easily enough.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten,” Carlos says, forcing TK to glance back at him.

“What? About me dancing? Pfft, I can hold my own out there.”

Carlos eyes him from top to bottom and back again. It’s such a simple move and yet it makes TK’s skin tingle to be held in his gaze. Not for the first time since meeting Carlos, he wonders what the man thinks when he looks at him. Smugly, he hopes Carlos feels the energy between them too. Surely, he does, TK reasons. There was nothing casual about that look just now.

“Alright, let’s see it then.” Carlos downs the rest of his beer and sets it down on the bar. TK follows suit, finishing off his drink in kind.

He isn’t expecting Carlos to reach for his hand but he gives it up willingly, feeling warmth course through him that has absolutely nothing to do with being surrounded by people. Carlos leads them right to the center of the dance floor, a large smile on his face. He doesn’t waste a single second in falling into line with everyone else. TK does his best, trying hard not to look at his feet. That’d be a dead giveaway that line dancing is kind of a foreign concept to him. He manages well enough after a few seconds.

“There you go,” Carlos encourages.

TK can’t take his eyes off him. There’s something just so alluring about watching Carlos move freely, completely at ease and assured in his movements.

They keep dancing for a while, TK relaxing into it and matching Carlos beat for beat. The music eventually changes to something slower, couples remaining on the dance floor and settling in close to each other. TK looks around at everyone before glancing to Carlos who gives him a questioning look. TK gives a small smile, silent confirmation that he doesn’t mind having this dance with Carlos. He keeps his eyes on Carlos’ face, trying to decipher the expression in them. It’s like he can see it all in real time, Carlos making the decision to try for something a little more. The man brings his face closer but TK stiffens in his hold and takes a step back.

“I think I’m gonna get some air. Just a sec,” he says, pursing his lips and walking off.

He’s cursing himself for panicking and being a coward. The most frustrating thing is knowing that had he been in a different place mentally, he absolutely would have followed through on kissing Carlos. He’s spent a fair bit of time over the last two weeks picturing what that would feel like. Here it was now the opportunity was presenting itself and TK’s initial reaction was to run.

He stands outside of the bar, leaning against the building with his eyes closed, replaying the exchange over and over.

“Do you just want to get out of here?” he hears Carlos say. When he opens his eyes, Carlos is standing right in front of him, his face unreadable. “We could go for a drive, if that’s alright with you.”

TK pulls in a breath and nods. What he wants to do is apologize a million times and let Carlos know that none of this is his fault. Carlos is truly perfect, almost scarily so as far as TK is concerned. He can barely take the shift in Carlos’ mood. Not even five minutes ago the man was smiling brightly. Now he looked unsure and uneasy, all because of TK. If he could have even a minute to explain, TK would be grateful. A car ride with just the two of them was ideal.

Carlos nods too and leads the way over to his car, the two of them climbing inside. Neither of them says a word as Carlos brings the car to life and begins to drive. TK knows he should be the one to break the silence but his thoughts are a riot in his mind and nothing makes sense. Every time he starts to form a sentence in his head, the words don’t sound right. Carlos keeps driving, eventually coming up to an empty area.

He stops the car and looks over at TK. In his eyes is fear and concern, so much so that TK feels guilty, already able to see that Carlos blames himself for the awkwardness earlier. It’s so incorrect and misdirected but Carlos is already speaking before TK can even dispel the man’s thoughts.

“I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Carlos’ chest rises and falls heavily. TK isn’t used to seeing him uneasy and it doesn’t sit well.

“God, Carlos, no. You didn’t—I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

TK sighs and tilts his head back against his seat. The silence in the car presses down on his ears but he needs a few seconds to get his thoughts in order.

“The whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing completely applies here, as cliché as it is,” he starts out, turning his head to look at Carlos.

Carlos’ expression is so serious, like he’s truly giving his full attention over to TK, like he sincerely wants to understand what he’s thinking or how he can help. The level of kindness and sincerity Carlos has shown him since day one is unparalleled and given how his last relationship ended, TK is in awe of the fact that someone is willing to extend this generosity to him.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me yet. In time, I really do want to share it with you because I think you could be good for me. Knowing you has already been good for me and you don’t even realize it.”

TK swallows thickly before pressing on. Carlos remains perfectly still, searching his face. TK can’t help the fluttering sensation in the pit of his stomach. This man owes him nothing and yet here he is, willing to hear him out.

“I was a bit of a mess back home. I was in a pretty serious relationship that sort of blew up in my face and I just…I couldn’t stay in the city anymore. My dad got offered the job down here and the timing…it seemed like the univere’s way of giving me something of a clean slate. I’m not where I want to be exactly but I’m working on it.”

He stops short then, his breathing shaky. This was more than he thought he’d share with Carlos this early on and while it feels scary to admit to such heavy things, it’s also freeing. Carlos may be new to his life but every instinct of TK’s is telling him that he can trust this man beside him.

Carlos finally moves, reaching out and holding onto TK’s hand. He doesn’t lace their fingers or anything, just simply holds on to it, as if reminding TK that there’s someone here with him. TK’s eyes start to sting with unshed tears.

“Thank you for telling me,” Carlos says. “I know it couldn’t have been easy. We don’t…I’m just happy to be your friend, honest. We don’t have to make something of this. Seriously, just knowing you is enough.”

Despite his best efforts to stop them, TK can feel traitorous tears running down his cheeks but he can’t find it within himself to be embarrassed over it. Being around Carlos is like existing in a judgement free zone. With his free hand, he wipes at his face and Carlos gives him a soft smile. The sight alone is like a balm over TK’s hurt.

Carlos leans forward, resting his forehead against TK’s. It’s such a tender expression that TK’s breath hitches and his heart skips a beat.

“You’re going to be okay,” Carlos says softly, confidently as if he has some crystal ball that can predict this.

Either way, TK gladly takes the assurance as a fact, clinging to that promise like a life raft in a heavy storm.

Chapter Text

This is it, TK thinks as he sits back in bed staring up at his ceiling and listening to the early morning chatter of birds outside his window. After a little over three months of stepping back as a firefighter he’s set to start at the 126 alongside his father. It’d been the biggest goal he’d set for himself and now he is just a mere two hours away from it being reality.

He reflects on the road he traveled to get here, the bittersweet and truly harrowing journey that led to this particular moment in time. It’d been all he could discuss in group and with his dad as well, talking it out and ensuring that he felt stable enough to reinstate. He felt more than ready and TK had every intention of proving that the time away wouldn’t have been in vain.

His phone buzzes on the nightstand, disrupting him from his thoughts. TK lazily reaches out a hand to grab it. He looks at the screen, a large smile instantly overtaking his features as he reads the text that has just come in.

Good morning, happy first official day at the 126! You’re going to be amazing out there.

Of course Carlos would make sure his day started off like this, even on his day off. TK’s used to waking up to texts from Carlos but this special one tugs at his heart a bit differently. He stares at the message for a moment, touched as he always is that Carlos takes the time out to talk to him and especially flattered he’d commemorate the day.

You’re sort of incredible, you know that, right? Thank you, he sends back.

It’s been three weeks since their night out at the bar and TK still hasn’t been able to completely shake their near kiss. He and Carlos have been great; there hasn’t been any awkwardness in the way he figured there might be with someone else. Carlos has been keeping to his word and continuing to be TK’s friend. They’ve moved past it collectively but individually, TK’s crush has become a bit of a beast. His mind is constantly picturing the course they’d be on now had he not panicked and kissed Carlos right there on the dance floor.

It’s something that runs in circles in his mind. Each time Carlos does something sweet like this, he can’t help but to feel as if they’re together. If this is how Carlos acts just as a friend, TK can only imagine what it’d be like to actual bear a deeper title.

But he can’t focus on that right now. Today he needs to center his energy on his first day at the station. He’s glad for the fact that he’s not nervous in the least bit. He already knows the team really well and he’s beyond eager to get back to work, to helping others, and feeling useful again.

TK enters the kitchen after getting ready, his Austin Fire Department shirt snug and fitting him like a second skin. It feels good, he can’t deny it. He smiles warmly at his dad who claps his hands together once before pulling him in for a hug when they’re close to each other.

“Look at you,” Owen boasts, patting him twice on the back before breaking their embrace. There’s no mistaking the look of pride in his father’s eyes as he holds onto TK’s arms and beams at him.

In truth, it’s how TK feels toward himself as well. He knows he made the right call in getting his mental health in order but some days it felt like torture sitting idly by. But he put in the work consistently, not missing a single meeting or relapsing. He feels strong and capable of handling anything life may throw at him this time around.

“Ready to head out there?” Owen asks, dropping his hands.

“I’ve waited long enough. Let’s get to it.”

TK couldn’t have had a better first day back if he planned it out himself. There wasn’t a single casualty, TK’s reflexes were as sharp as ever, and it truly felt as if no time had passed in between working in New York and working alongside the team in Austin. With this final piece no longer missing from his day to day, TK felt invincible.

At the end of his shift he hangs around the station with the crew, recounting the day.

“I’m glad to have you with us. Now the team’s really complete,” Judd says as they all work on cleaning their rig.

TK can’t help but to smile at that. Being a part of the 126 has made him feel whole personally. It feels good to know that the sentiment is mutual.

They all chat amicably, TK killing time until he and his father head home. Owen mentioned wanting to go out and celebrate earlier and TK was looking forward to it. After all, his dad was his best friend and he’d never grow tired of sharing a meal with him and just talking about any and everything.

“Looks like somebody’s got a visitor,” Paul says after a time, looking past over TK’s shoulder.

TK turns around to see what he’s talking about, his chest swelling at the sight of Carlos at the entrance, one hand in his pocket, the other giving a small wave at everyone but keeping his eyes on TK. Carlos looks a bit nervous, like he isn’t sure he should be here at all. It’s such a ridiculous notion to TK. Carlos is always welcome to him, even if his appearance is completely unexpected.

“Wow, TK, as far as first days go, you’re having the best one I’ve ever seen. Daring rescues capped off with a cute guy coming to see you? Not too shabby,” Marjan teases, lightly whacking her towel against his arm.

But TK barely catches a word of it with how much he’s dialed into the image of Carlos before him. Carlos comes further into the station and TK’s legs start moving on their own accord toward him, meeting him in the middle.

“What are you doing here?” TK asks, leaning in and giving Carlos a hug that the man quickly reciprocates.

“I thought I’d surprise you on your big day. It’s a pretty huge deal. I figured we should celebrate somehow. I made dinner for us, if you’re free.”

TK can’t hide the shock he’s feeling, his jaw dropping. He shakes his head lightly to clear it. Technically he isn’t free, but he believes he can be in just a few moments.

“Absolutely, yeah. Um, just let me grab my stuff and tell my dad. I’ll meet you out front.”

TK offers one last smile at Carlos before turning back to the station at large, ignoring the teasing whistles and cheering from the others. His cheeks are burning red but not out of embarrassment but from a combination of happiness, excitement, and nerves. This isn’t a date, he tells himself. This is just two friends hanging out, celebrating a special day. He’s been over to Carlos’ place plenty over the last few weeks but despite what he tries to drill into his own mind now, this feels different somehow.

TK grabs his bag out of his locker and crosses the station to head up to his dad’s office but by the time he reaches the staircase, the man is already coming down.

“Hey, dad. Uh, can we take a raincheck on tonight? Carlos just dropped by and invited me over for dinner. He’s waiting for me right now outside.”

He knows that his father wanted to sit down together to talk over their day and spend quality time together after TK’s first day at work. But Carlos’ offer is just too tempting to say no to. Owen has made it more than clear that he likes Carlos a lot; it wasn’t a surprise to see that Carlos was father approved. Owen and Carlos have worked alongside each other plenty over the last few months and Carlos has become something of a staple at the Strand house. All the same, TK hopes he’s not letting his dad down but from the look on the man’s face, it’s obvious he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

Owen’s eyes crinkle as he smiles. “Who can compete with that? I’ll see you, kid. Go have fun tonight.”

With a full stomach thanks to Carlos’ incredible home-cooking, TK sinks back against the man’s sofa as the two unwind and just talk. TK loves these moments with Carlos, the two of them alone and content sharing each other’s company. He’s glad for the fact that Carlos opted for a night in. This is everything he needs right here, a great friend and great conversation. His talks with Carlos are always random in the best way. Now they’re discussing destiny, a conversation that stemmed from TK mentioning he felt he was born to help others.

 “Some things just feel fated, you know?” Carlos says.

 “I know your aunt buys in to all of that stuff. Do you?”

Carlos shrugs. “There might be some truth to it? I’m somewhere safely in the middle. Not exactly a non-believer but not devout like her either. I’ve looked into some stuff.”

TK lifts a brow. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Palmistry, just out of curiosity. I don’t think I remember everything but I know a decent amount.”

TK sticks out his left hand, palm up towards Carlos. “Go on then. Tell me whatever you can.”

Carlos laughs but places one hand under TK’s to steady it, the other roaming his palm with the pad of his index finger. TK fights the urge to shiver at his touch. His eyes never leave Carlos’ face, noting the look of concentration in his eyes as he studies the lines TK has never once put any thought into.

“I only remember stuff about the head, heart, and relationship lines,” Carlos says, peering up at him.

“Those are the only ones I really care about so that works out perfectly.”

He holds Carlos’ gaze for a moment and he can feel something pass between them though neither man addresses it. Carlos busies himself with looking at TK’s palm again and TK takes this time to study Carlos openly. His face is calm and thoughtful as he recalls whatever information he learned some time ago. TK relishes in this free time to just look at him and appreciate his beauty up close.

“Well, your head line is deep but also kind of short which means you’ve got a pretty solid memory but you’re pretty impulsive at times, maybe even reckless.”

TK lets out a laugh. “Okay, that checks out. What else you got?”

Carlos’ finger moves across to the edge of his palm, just under his pinkie. There’s a small dash of a line etched there.

“This is your relationship line. Yours is strong which suggests that you like investing in relationships. You take them pretty seriously and you don’t mind something long-term.”

TK is glad that Carlos is so focused on studying his palm because his eyes are a bit wide now. Maybe this whole thing isn’t so far-fetched after all; Carlos is two for two.

“And the heart line?” he prompts. Only then does Carlos look up at him for a moment, a soft smile on his lips before he gets back to work.

“Yours is interesting. Everything I ever read about it says it matters if the line starts at your index or middle finger. Yours is right in the middle so I guess that means it could go either way? I don’t know.”

TK frowns at the inconclusiveness. “What’s the difference between the two?”

“Well, if it starts at the index finger it means you’re tentative about who you let in. If it’s at your middle finger, it means you can’t get enough of love and you’ll seek it out. But you’ve also got some fractures in the line at the end there, see? I think it means you’re good at finding balance between the head and the heart, ultimately,” he says with a shrug, still holding on to TK’s hand though he’s done.  “So, how’d I do? Should I look into opening a tent at the fair?”

TK laughs and nods his head. “If policing doesn’t work out for you, I think this would be a pretty good gig to fall back on. This was kind of scary accurate.”

“Oh? So, you love hard and you’re reckless then?”

TK’s face grows serious. It’s sort of a perfect summation of what led him down to Austin in the first place. That’s still a fragment—a pretty important one—that Carlos knows nothing about. TK realizes now that the time has come for him to tie up that loose end and share the truth about his past.

Carlos sits up more, no doubt seeing the change in TK’s demeanor. TK tries to cling to this moment for as long as possible because he knows he’s just a few seconds away from changing things for good one way or another. Carlos has never given him a reason to feel like he can’t be honest but some truths are harder to face and grapple with than others.

TK takes his wallet out of his pocket and opens it. From one of the slits he takes out his most recent sobriety chip, 90 days emblazoned in the center. He holds onto it for a moment before handing it over to Carlos who looks confused briefly before he reads it and understanding truly sinks in.

“You’re—”

“An addict,” TK says at the same time Carlos says “In recovery.”

Carlos’ brows furrow at TK’s wording and he turns the chip over between his fingers, eyeing him curiously. TK can’t help but to mirror the expression. It never ceases to amaze him how much Carlos always chooses to see the good. Even in a case as serious as this, talking about things as weighty addiction and sobriety, he doesn’t err on the side of negative. Instead he chooses the upside, ever the optimist.

“I…yeah,” TK sighs, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“This is why you left New York then? Or at least part of the reason?” Carlos replies thoughtfully, clearly picking up on the timeline of TK’s move.

TK nods, avoiding Carlos’ gaze but he can still feel the man looking at him. TK has known from the start that he would always have to have this conversation with Carlos one way or another but now that he’s staring down the barrel of it, he’s finding it hard to come up with the words. But for Carlos and for the sake of being forthright with this man that he’s come to care for so greatly, he finds it within himself to keep speaking. Even if his words wind up a tangled mess, at least, he thinks, he can take comfort in knowing that they’re finally out there once and for all.

He looks back up and lowers his hand, his shoulders squaring. Carlos’ face is expectant but like always, he doesn’t force anything out of him. There is no doubt in TK’s mind that Carlos is the most patient man on the planet.

“Back in New York, I was seeing a guy named Alex,” he starts, shaking his head and stopping himself. “It was more than that really. I was so in love with him that I was ready to propose. The night that I got up the courage to do it, Alex told me he’d met someone else, that he had moved on. And I—I didn’t know how to live with that, you know? I mean, here I was so ready to spend the rest of my life with this man and he just...fell out of love with me. Had been cheating on me and starting up something behind my back. I completely spiraled that night and I…,” he trails off, looking away.

For as much as he needs to get these words off his chest, he can’t bring himself to see Carlos’ face when he admits to the worst of it.

“I overdosed; I took a bunch of pills. I wasn’t trying to kill myself or anything like that. I just didn’t want to feel anymore. There was too much noise in my head and I just needed some quiet. My dad found me…saved my life, actually. I’ve had issues in the past with substances. I’d been doing well until that dinner with Alex, honestly. That was easily the worst night of my life.”

TK realizes now that he’s been crying, stunned by the feel of teardrop splattering on his pants. He quickly wipes at his face with the back of his hand and laughs nervously, ready to apologize, but one glance at Carlos tells him he has nothing to be ashamed of. He continues, clearing his throat.

“So, yeah, my dad had this job offer he wasn’t so sure he wanted to take but after everything that went down, he thought it best we head down here. And it has been really good for me. Everyone at the 126 has seriously become like family. It’s been great walking around and not seeing places and things that remind me of my ex. But the best part, the absolute best thing about moving down here has been meeting you,” TK says, searching Carlos’ warm brown eyes. “You’ve been bringing something out of me. I haven’t laughed or felt this comfortable in my own skin since we left New York. I just…I really like you, Carlos. I like you so much, it scares me sometimes because I didn’t expect to find someone like you or to feel this much for someone again.”

With the confession out there between them, TK feels like he can finally breathe. He hadn’t realized how much he felt like he was underwater with his secrets weighing him down.

“I was so much better before all of that with Alex. I wish you could have known me then. That TK…he would have deserved a guy like you. I’m sorry you got stuck with this version.”

Carlos takes a hold of one of TK’s hands, shaking his head. “I happen to be a big fan of the guy in front of me so stop picking on him, would you? And I’m not stuck with anything. This is me choosing you, TK.”

He strokes TK’s cheek lightly and just the soft brush of his fingertips against his skin gets TK’s heart racing.

“Maybe this is the actually the best version,” Carlos continues, even as TK’s eyes flutter shut briefly. “You went through hell and came out the other side still standing. I’d say that counts for way more than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

TK stares at him for a moment, truly stunned that after all he’s unloaded, Carlos is still here, still rallying behind him instead of running in the other direction. TK wouldn’t have blamed him if he did; he knows this is a lot to handle and it’s a big ask to expect someone to still see the good. But with Carlos, it seems to be the only thing the man is capable of finding in him, despite it all.

“Sometimes I think I’ve made you up.” TK doesn’t know where the words come from but they spring from his lips unbidden. “I don’t understand how you’re even real.”

Carlos chuckles and rolls his eyes playfully. “Believe me, I’m far from perfect. I just hate to see people being unkind to themselves, especially in a case like this where they don’t deserve it.”

TK smiles softly and looks at their hands. He slips his fingers through Carlos’, linking them together. He looks up at Carlos but the man is now staring at their hands, his lips parted slightly as if in shock that they’re touching like this. It feels as if they’re bonded together and that’s something TK can more than get behind. Seeing the wonder in Carlos’ face as if he can’t believe what’s happening leaves TK stunned, so surprised that he could matter this much to someone like Carlos. But it only cements the thought he’s had in mind for two months: He wants to see where this can go because he’s positive it’ll lead somewhere great.

TK leans in tentatively, giving Carlos time to move back if he wants but the man doesn’t. Instead he helps to close the gap between them. TK’s heart is hammering as if trying to escape the confines of his chest but he can’t spare a thought to that now. His full attention rests solely on Carlos’ lips parting in anticipation. The moment TK makes contact, his thoughts fade into nothing. Gone are the voices of doubt and fear that always seem to live in the back of his head. In their place is a comforting calm. That’s what being around Carlos always feels like to him, a safe place for him to curl up in and live.

His hand breaks away from Carlos’, his arms coming to rest on the man’s shoulders as he pulls him in closer still. They easily find their rhythm, not unlike their first night out on the dance floor weeks ago with the two falling into step. Catching feelings for Carlos has been one of the most natural things for him; it isn’t shocking to see it translates well to intimacy. TK’s hands play with the hair at the back of Carlos’ neck, a move that the other man seems to appreciate as Carlos’ hold deepens, his fingers digging in as if to anchor himself.

TK takes his time kissing Carlos, savoring the taste and feel. It’s a rush, perhaps the most blissfully overwhelmed he’s ever felt kissing someone but TK delights in that. Carlos’ hands roam up his sides and back, modestly exploring. TK smiles against his lips, dragging his own nails lightly down Carlos’ back. He can’t help but to chuckle slyly at the tremor that courses through Carlos. To think he has such an effect on him is beyond TK’s understanding.

Carlos’ tongue swipes at his bottom lip, a silent plea for entry and TK is all too happy to oblige. It’s his turn to shudder now as Carlos exhales deeply through his nose as their tongues meet. TK lives so fully in this moment that he’s convinced time no longer exists. Surely nothing else has ever mattered before the moment they began kissing. His hands slide from Carlos’ back to his chest, roaming the firm muscled plane. He can feel Carlos’ heart beating wildly, same as his.

Only because his lungs are screaming does TK pull away slowly and break the kiss. He breathes in deeply to get fresh air in, his lungs desperate for it. In front of him, Carlos looks the way he imagines he must too, flushed cheeks, uneven ragged breaths but a satisfied, stunned smile through it all.

“And somehow you say you aren’t perfect,” TK muses, still catching his breath.

“You’re one to talk.” Carlos licks his lips and smiles bashfully. “Sorry, I got a little carried away.”

“Here I was thinking I was supposed be the reckless one.”

Carlos wags his finger while leaning in. “Trouble, nothing but trouble with you,” he mumbles against TK’s lips, effectively shutting down any response he could make with another kiss.