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How Do Two Men Have Sex?

Summary:

Anonymous said:
AHH AHH IT WAS PERFECT!! MY HEART ACHESSSSS 'drunk sappy fuck' WAS SO PERFECT!! Okay okay, maybe future fic where Yev (16) has awkward (but funny) questions about his fathers relationship bc he is in human anatomy and wants to know how two men have sex (but them being his dad's he's super funny/awkward about it and Ian is WAY too forth coming and Mick and Yev are blushing and lol lol) PLZ PLZ

Notes:

Ohmygosh thanks anon for liking 'Sappy as fuck drunk' and thanks for the prompt! :D
I don't really know what I wrote. I kinda just typed and this happened. Oh and I made it like in the future from 'Sappy as fuck drunk' :)
This contains: awkward sex questions, blushing Mickey - so cute, and pretty much a trip down memory lane.

ENJOY! <3
P.s. I know most of you want me to write a part 2 to 'You're all I've ever wanted' and I will but this prompt came first so I wrote this. I will write part 2 next, before I tackle the new prompt sitting in my ask box on tumblr. :):):)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Hey kid, where you been?,” Ian said to Yevgeny who walked into the living room. 

 

Ian and Mickey were relaxing on the sofa after a long day of work when Mickey’s 16 year old son Yev walked in and sat on the reclining chair next to the sofa. Ian and Mickey have been together since they were 15 and 16, well they’ve been hooking up since then. They became a couple officially when Ian was 17 and Mickey was 18. They’ve been through hell and back, but at least they were together. Now, Ian 33 and Mickey 34 had a great life together. They were ghetto married and living in a halfway decent home in Chicago with Yevgeny. They decided not to get married because Mickey’s done the whole marriage thing and it didn’t mean a thing. He was forced into marriage at 17 with a Russian prostitute who ended up being the mother of his child. Ian always imagined getting married but the minute him and Mickey got together he knew he wanted to be with Mickey forever, he was smitten. Knowing Mickey he knew he wouldn’t get the fairytale of a white picket fenced home and all that shit. What they have now is a million times better. They have been faithful and loyal to each other since they officially got together, which is almost 20 years ago. Instead of getting rings, since technically they aren’t married, they tattooed wedding bands around their fingers. A symbol that they are bound to each other, for better or worse. 

 

Yev still sees his mother but he lives with the two men. He even calls Ian ‘pop’ and he calls Mickey ‘dad’ since he is his father. Yev never thought it was strange he had two dads and one mom. As he got older he started to understand more that usually families have one mom and one dad but that there are all kinds of different families in the world. Some with one mom, one mom and two dads, two moms and one dad, two dads, two moms, no mom or dad, etc etc. 

 

“Hey pop, dad. I was at the library studying for my human anatomy class,” Yev said to his dads.

 

“Nerd,” Mickey said to his son. 

 

Yev flipped him off and Mickey started to laugh. He loved how open he could be with his fathers. They never really took offence to anything he said or did, like him flipping them off. Yev sees how other parents are at his friends homes and they are completely different than his parents. He feels special in that way. 

 

“What are you learning about right now?” Ian asked lowering the volume on the TV and sitting up. Mickey was forced to sit up too since he had been laying practically on top of Ian.

 

“How a man and a woman have sex,” Yev answered.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes and said, “Pfffft you already know about that.”

 

Yev blushed at that. Yev had lost his virginity to his girlfriend a couple months after his sixteenth birthday. Yev knew he wasn’t in love, he knew what real love looked like, he saw it everyday between Mickey and Ian. What he did know was that he really liked this girl, Layken. She’s in his year at school and in some of his classes. She has long blond hair that has a tint of red in it, and grey eyes. 

 

Yev definitely knew how a man and a woman have sex, seeing as though he’s experienced it himself and watching porn. What he didn’t know was how two men have sex, and he was determined to find out. 

 

“How do two men have sex? They don’t teach us that, they only teach us about a man and a woman. So seeing as though you’re two guys who have sex maybe you can tell me,” Yev asked his fathers. 

 

Mickey started to stutter and a blush started to creep up his neck. 

 

Ian chuckled and decided to take it upon himself to answer the boy he grew to love as his own, “I think they don’t teach that in schools is because two men who have sex can’t create a life. They teach you about the reproductive system and how children are born therefore they need to give you the dynamics about how the child was conceived.”

 

“Okay but how do men have sex?” Yev asked impatiently, “Like does one dick go into the other? And one opens up for the other? How does it work? Like where does your dick go since you both have dicks?” Yev asked genuinely confused.

 

Mickey sat there and blushed at his son’s questions. He has never felt more awkward in his life. Not even when Yev asked them about having sex for the first time. That conversation didn’t revolve around how him and Ian have sex, it revolved around how Yev was going to put it in his girlfriend. 

 

“Christ, Yev. Dicks don’t open up to let the other in,” Mickey said shaking his head.

 

Ian didn’t have any qualms about this whole conversation so he answered Yevgeny honestly, “When two men have sex one guy is the top and one is the bottom. Meaning, one guy puts his penis into the other man’s asshole. Then they just have sex like a man and a women would but instead of a penis going in a vagina it’s going into an asshole. It’s called anal sex, Yev. Men and women also have that kind of sex if the woman is into it. Since it’s the only way two men can have intercourse that’s what we do.”

 

Yev opened his mouth slightly in the form of an ‘o’. 

 

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Yev asked.

 

Ian chuckled and said, “It can but with the proper stretching and lubrication it can be pleasurable.”

 

Yev asked, “Stretching?” 

 

“Generally before having intercourse there is foreplay. Fingering, oral sex, you know. So the top would put some lube on his fingers and finger the other man to stretch him out so he won’t be in pain. Or he could rim him, which is licking the other man’s asshole,” Ian answered.

 

“That’s disgusting,” Yev said. Ian and Mickey laughed.

 

“It ain’t so bad kid. Some like to eat pussy, some like to eat ass,” Mickey said still blushing. Yev blushed too. 

 

“Well what about you guys? Who’s top and who’s bottom?” Yev asked. He always wanted to know more about his fathers relationship. Like how they got together, when they did, why they weren’t married, how they have sex, etc.

 

“Oh for fuck sakes. You had to go and tell him about this!” Mickey said, smacking Ian’s arm. Ian laughed.

 

“C’mon Mick, he’s our son he wanted to know about gay sex,” Ian said.

 

“Not our fucking sex. Kid, we’re not telling you who’s ass gets fucked and who’s doesn’t. It’s none of your fuckin business,” Mickey said.

 

“Don’t worry he says that to everyone who’s asked us that question,” Ian said to Yev.

 

“People have asked you about your sex?” Yev asked.

 

“Mostly our family, like your aunts and uncles, also Kev and Veronica have asked. But your dad here told Aunt Fiona and V one day when he was drunk and they told everyone in the family,” Ian said, teasing his partner.

 

“I did not tell them! I simply let them guess and pointed to who was right with my beer bottle…” Mickey said.

 

“Well your the idiot who made everyone find out,” Ian said, poking his man in the side.

 

“Not my fault those two fuckin hyenas have huge mouths,” Mickey said. 

 

“Are you going to tell me or not?” Yev asked, watching the exchange between the two men.

 

“Are you deaf? I said it’s none of your fuckin business,” Mickey said with no heat. 

 

Yev rolled his eyes at his father. 

 

“Is that all you wanted to know kid?” Ian asked.

 

“About the sex, yeah, you explained it all, very vividly,” Yev said blushing.

 

“Was there anything else you wanted to know or are we done with this brutal conversation?” Mickey asked his son. Ian smacked Mickey on the arm, and Mickey turned his head to him and said, “Quit fuckin’ smacking me.”

 

“Well, I did wanna know about your relationship,” Yev said.

 

“Didn’t we just do that?” Mickey asked.

 

“No, not sexually, I mean like, love and shit,” Yev said vaguely.

 

Ian said, “Gotta be more specific kid.”

 

“When did you two meet?” Yev asked.

 

Ian and Mickey exchanged a look of confusion. 

 

“We don’t really know. We grew up in the same neighbourhood, we lived a couple blocks away from each other. Our families were very well known around town. I guess we kinda always knew each other, sorta,” Ian answered.

 

“Okay so then when did you start talking I guess? Like were you friends since you were kids or what?” Yev asked, since he didn’t really get the answer he was looking for.

 

Ian and Mickey started to chuckle. 

 

“Dad actually tried to kill me when I was 15 and he was 16,” Ian said.

 

“I wasn’t trying to kill you,” Mickey said and Ian gave him a look. “Okay maybe I was. But in my defence Mandy told me you tried to rape her, what do you fuckin expect? You don’t fuck with the Milkovich’s.” 

 

“Aunt Mandy said you tried to rape her?!” Yev asked in disbelief.

 

Ian answered, “Yeah but only cause she tried to kiss me and I turned her down. She told dad I tried to rape her cause she felt rejected by me and wanted dad and your uncles to beat me up for it.”

 

“Did you beat him up?” Yev asked looking at Mickey.

 

“Kept trying to but he avoided me like the plague. It was a bitch trying to find him. Till he showed up at my house with a tire iron,” Mickey said smiling fondly at the memory. Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand and intertwined their fingers, resting them between them on the sofa. 

 

Yev smiled at his fathers and said, “So what happened?”

 

Mickey blushed and Ian said, “I tried to get something back from dad that he stole from my boss at the time. It resulted in us fighting, more like wrestling. I ended up pinned underneath him on his bed.”

 

Yev looked at his fathers waiting for more then realization hit, “Oh gross. So you guys fucked.”

 

Mickey blushed and Ian said, “Yes.” 

 

“How old were you?” Yev asked.

 

“I was 16 and pop was 15,” Mickey answered, not having an issue with his question.

 

“Was it your first times?” Yev asked.

 

Both men laughed and Yev looked between the two of them.

 

“No, it wasn’t. I had been sleeping around with someone else at the time but stopped when me and dad first hooked up,” Ian answered.

 

“You did?” Mickey asked looking at Ian.

 

“Of course I did. How could I not?” Ian said smiling fondly at Mickey. Mickey blushed at Ian’s look and leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips. 

 

“What about you dad? Was it your first time?” Yev asked Mickey.

 

“No, it wasn’t,” Mickey answered.

 

“Have you been with girls also?” Yev asked them.

 

“I have never been with a girl. I always sorta knew I didn’t like girls so I never went for it. I lost my virginity to a boy at school when I was 14 and then started seeing someone else before dad and I got together,” Ian answered.

 

“I used to have sex with any slutty girl and I lost my virginity at 12. I knew I didn’t like girls but it wasn’t okay to be who I was in my fathers home. To him there’s nothing worse than being gay. He made me believe for the longest time that there was something wrong with me, till I was with pop. I had never been with a guy until he showed up at my house with that damn tire iron,” Mickey said smiling at Ian.

 

“But, you just said it wasn’t your first time,” Yev said.

 

“In general it wasn’t but it was my first time with a guy,” Mickey clarified.

 

“I didn’t know that,” Ian said.

 

“Well now you do,” Mickey said squeezing Ian’s hand that was still in his. Ian stroked Mickey’s hand with his thumb.

 

“Were you boyfriends all the way back then?” Yev asked.

 

“I wish,” Ian said.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes and said, “No, like I said, there was nothing worse than being gay in that neighbourhood and under my fathers roof.”

 

“So fuck buddies?” Yev asked.

 

“Pretty much,” Mickey said.

 

“When did you become boyfriends?” Yev asked.

 

Ian smiled and said, “The day of your christening actually. Dad was about to leave to go to the church when I asked him if we were a couple or not, and he said ‘of course we are’.”

 

“When was that?” Yev asked.

 

“You were a few weeks old, so I was 17 and dad was 18,” Ian answered.

 

“You guys were fuck buddies for 2 years?” Yev asked, “That’s fucking long. Don’t you get attached? From seeing my friends I know that that shit doesn’t work. Someone always gets in too deep.”

 

“You’re very insightful kid. We most definitely weren’t fuck buddies for two whole years. Since your dad went to juvie twice while we were hanging out, that cut some of the time. Plus we fucked other people when apart,” Ian said.

 

“Don’t forget you leaving for the fucking army after I was forced to marry Lana,” Mickey said.

 

“You went to the army?! How come I didn’t know this?” Yev asked.

 

“Cause I didn’t want you to know,” Ian said glaring at Mickey. “Well, I was so broken up that dad got married to someone else and back then I was in ROTC and always pictured myself joining the forces. So I joined illegally since I was underage. Once I was in training and stuff, I had a manic episode and tried to steal a helicopter. I ended up leaving and finding my mother. She’s the reason I’m Bipolar, we have the same disorder. I was all fucked up on drugs for months before dad found me at some gay club in the city and took me home. Keeping me safe.” Mickey squeezed Ian’s hand again and smiled at him. 

 

“Wow. How long were you gone in the army for?” Yev asked.

 

“Wasn’t there long but I was gone from home for a few months,” Ian said.

 

“Worst months ever,” Mickey mumbled. 

 

“How come you never got married? Didn’t you and mom get divorced when I was like one?” Yev asked Mickey.

 

“It’s just a fuckin piece of paper. I was married to your mother but it didn’t mean shit to me. I didn’t want to marry pop because he actually means something to me. We’ve been ghetto married since I brought him home that day years ago, and that’s how it’ll stay. I don’t think we need a piece of paper to tell us we want to spend the rest of our lives together,” Mickey said to his kid before glancing at Ian. 

 

Ian smiled at his partner before kissing him on the lips. “We definitely don’t,” Ian said.

 

Both men looked to Yev before Mickey asked again, “Anything else or we done here?” 

 

“Top or bottom?” Yev tried again.

 

Mickey flipped him off with his free hand and Ian and Yev laughed.

 

“Then I guess that’s it. Thanks, I uh, know it was awkward. I’m really glad I have you guys as my dads. You’re the best parents a kid could ask for,” Yev said before nodding at them and walking to his bedroom.

 

 

When Ian and Mickey heard Yev get upstairs, Mickey slumped down a little.

 

Ian moved closer to Mickey and turned his body so he was facing him. He said, “C’mon that wasn’t so bad.”

 

“It definitely was,” Mickey said turning his head to look at Ian.

 

“We have a pretty damn good kid though, sweet as fuck. I wonder where he gets that from cause it sure as shit isn’t from you,” Ian teased.

 

“Fuck off,” Mickey said and chuckled before kissing Ian on the lips.

 

 

From upstairs Yevgeny listened in on his fathers conversation and smiled. Yes, Yev knew what real love looked like, he saw it everyday between Mickey and Ian. The best parents he could ever ask for. 

Notes:

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