Chapter Text
Ian and Mickey have been together for 20 years. 20.
Ian now 35 and Mickey almost 37, they have been married for the past 10 years. Yev was almost 18 years old and couldn’t wait to get to College. The kid was a genius and was already accepted with a full academic scholarship to MIT. He just needed to wait till he was out of high school to go.
Ian and Mickey have always had a different relationship than most. Before they first got together Mickey wanted to kill Ian. Once they did get together all they did was fuck and it was completely hidden. When they were caught by Frank, Ian’s father for all intents and purposes, Mickey fucked off and got sent to juvie again. When they got caught by Terry, Mickey’s psychotic father, Mickey got raped and had to marry the whore he got pregnant to keep himself and Ian safe, and Ian left for the army. When Ian came back and Mickey found him drugged out Mickey fought to keep him safe this time around. Especially when Ian spiralled into a depression and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder.
Ian and Mickey have always had a different relationship and a hard one at that but they always got through the bullshit and everything because they had each other.
In the past their relationship problems stemmed from Mickey not expressing his emotions or feelings verbally and Ian expecting too much. Now that they’ve been together for 20 years Mickey has learned to be more open.
However, Ian’s noticed Mickey becoming more closed off and acting different these last few weeks following their 20th year together.
Ian can’t even remember the last time they’ve fucked was. They barely see each other and when they are together they’re too tired or Mickey’s busy with school work to correct or lesson plans to write up.
Mickey used to kiss Ian goodbye every morning before heading out with Yev to school. The last month or so he hasn’t done that.
Ian finally snapped one morning before the two men were heading to school.
“Bye dad!” Yev called to Ian. Yev was pulling his shoes on and Ian was standing in the kitchen drinking coffee.
“Bye,” Ian said back then saw Mickey going to put his shoes on as well.
Mickey got his shoes on, shooed Yev out and looked to Ian and called out a “Bye.”
“Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?!” Ian yelled. Mickey froze, hand on the doorknob.
Mickey turned to look at Ian who had set his mug down and was making his way to Mickey.
“You’re seriously going to leave again without kissing me goodbye!? You’ve been doing this for the past month!” Ian yelled getting really frustrated.
“Are you fuckin serious right now?” Mickey asked, eyebrows in his hairline.
“Yes I’m fucking serious Mickey! What happened to us?! Sure we’re not fucking 18 anymore but Jesus we’re not 80 why the fuck don’t you kiss me anymore or anything? Did I do something?” Ian asked getting more insecure than angry.
“Jesus fucking Christ. I don’t have time for this shit. I am literally out the door to go to work,” Mickey said running a hand over his face.
“Fine,” Ian said. Ian turned around, went to their bedroom, and slammed the door shut.
Mickey sighed but left for work, he would deal with that shit when he got home.
**
Ian went to work that day in one of the worst moods. All he could think about was that morning. Ian wanted to talk to Mickey and see what the fuck was wrong between them. However, as the day went by Ian didn’t want to talk to Mickey. Instead of going home after work he went to Mandy and Lip’s place.
**
Mickey was surprised that Ian wasn’t home when he got home from work. Yev stuck around school to work on a project so Mickey was now home alone.
**
Ian was just sitting down for dinner with his brother, sister-in-law, and two nieces when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
Mickey:
Where are you?
Ian ignored his text and turned his phone off before putting it back into his pocket.
**
Me:
Ian where are you?
Me:
Is your phone off or are you ignoring me?
Me:
Ian answer your god damn phone
Me:
Do I need to be worried? Ian please answer me…
**
After dinner Ian and Mandy went on the balcony because she knew they needed to have a chat. Ian never dropped by unexpected like this, unless something happened.
“Spill. What happened?” Mandy asked.
“I don’t even know. Things are different between us… I don’t know if it has to do with us being together for so long like if he’s bored of me or something but things are weird,” Ian answered.
“Weird how?” Mandy asked.
“Like he hasn’t kissed me goodbye or hello in over a month and he’s been doing that since before we got married. We haven’t had sex in God knows how long-“ Ian started.
Mandy interrupted, “Urghhh gross, I don’t wanna know that.”
Ian rolled his eyes and said, “I just said we HAVEN’T had sex in so long, Mandy. Things are so different. Before, instead of talking about things he’d want to fuck. We barely do either of those now… I don’t know what to do. I feel like we’re drifting apart and I’m watching it happen in slow motion unable to stop it.”
Ian leaned forward, elbows resting on the balcony railing and put his head in his hands. Mandy ran her hand up and down his back soothingly not really knowing what to say.
Mandy’s phone started to ring.
“It’s Mickey,” Mandy said looking at the screen then to Ian.
Ian waved a hand in her direction. She took that as an okay to answer the phone.
“Hey shithead,” Mandy answered the call.
“Yeah he’s here,” Mandy continued.
“Hold on,” Mandy said into the phone before asking Ian, “You get Mickey’s texts?”
“Turned my phone off,” Ian answered her.
Mandy hadn’t bothered to cover the receiver so Mickey heard what Ian said.
“Mickey wants to know when you’re coming home,” Mandy said.
“Not,” Ian answered before heading inside the house.
**
“What the fuck does that mean he’s not? He’s not coming home tonight or ever? Mandy, what the fuck is going on??” Mickey asked in a panic.
Mickey could feel his heart beat a mile a second. He felt like he was about to have a nervous breakdown. What in the actual fuck was going on?? He expected Ian to be home waiting for him ready to yell at him and tell him what was on his mind. What he never expected was to not find Ian home and find out he wasn’t coming home.
Mandy said, “I don’t know Mick, but I think you should give him some space.”
“What?! Are you out of your fucking mind? I’m coming there now. I left the minute you told me he was with you guys,” Mickey said incredulously.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. If he wanted to talk about this with you now he would have stayed home instead of coming here. Mickey go home. He’ll come back when he’s ready,” Mandy said trying to be reassuring.
“At least ask him to turn his phone back on, or pass your phone to him. Please?” Mickey begged.
“Gimme a minute,” Mandy said.
**
Mandy entered the living room and saw Ian sitting on the sofa starring at the ground.
“Mickey wants to talk to you,” Mandy said.
Ian looked up at her and said, “Oh now he wants to talk to me…”
“Ian turn your phone back on and talk to him for fuck sakes!” Mandy said getting annoyed.
Ian rolled his eyes but pulled his phone on and turned it back to life.
“Phone’s on,” Mandy said into her phone before hanging up on her brother.
Ian barely had a chance to open his texts or voicemail before he saw Mickey was calling him again.
“What?” Ian asked answering the phone.
Mandy shot Ian a look and he got up and went back outside to talk to his husband.
“What do you mean ‘what?’ Why the fuck are you at Mandy’s and why aren’t you coming home?” Mickey asked.
“I need some space,” Ian answered.
“Fuck what Mandy said. I’m here please come out front,” Mickey said.
“You’re here?” Ian asked in shock.
“Of course I am. Ian, I’ve been freaking out since I got home. You weren’t answering my texts or calls. I tried getting Yev to call you and you didn’t pick up. Please come down,” Mickey begged.
“Alright,” Ian said before hanging up and heading around to the front of the house.
Ian saw Mickey standing near the driveway chewing on his thumb nail.
Mickey made his way over to Ian, he was about to reach out but Ian crossed his arms over his chest.
“Why are you here Ian? What happened? Is this seriously because I didn’t kiss you this morning?” Mickey asked.
“It’s not only that Mickey. Things have been different for months now. You’re right back to being that 16 year old kid not telling me how he feels or what’s going on. You haven’t kissed me in forever, and I can’t even tell you when the last time we fucked was! Mickey I fucking miss you and I need you. I feel like we’re roommates who share a bed… It doesn’t feel like we’re a married couple. It doesn’t feel like you love me anymore. It doesn’t feel like we’re us anymore,” Ian said before running his hand over his face.
“I just need some space…” Ian continued.
“Are you leaving me?” Mickey asked panicky.
“I don’t know…” Ian answered truthfully.
“Ian…” Mickey half whispered. He felt like he was about to break. He tried to reach out to him but Ian jerked back.
“Don’t,” Ian said backing up a step.
Mickey begged, “Please don’t do this.”
“I’ll be by the house tomorrow to get some stuff and I’ll see if I can stay here for a bit. I think we just need some time apart. We’ve been together for 20 years, it makes sense that you should get bored,” Ian said.
Mickey was shaking his head and said, “I’m not though. Ian, fuck, just come home with me.”
“I can’t do that. Just give me the space I need,” Ian said, eyes pleading.
Mickey couldn’t hold back his tears and a few fell down his cheeks. Ian had the urge to wipe his tears away and soothe him, tell him he meant none of that, that he would come home with him and they’d work something out. He didn’t though, his body wasn’t doing what his heart wanted, it did what his head was telling him to do, to turn around.
Mickey watched Ian walk away through blurry, wet eyes.
**
Mickey didn’t even register he was back home until Yev got home making so much noise.
“Hey dad,” Yev said going to join Mickey on the sofa.
Mickey didn’t say anything just continued to sit there in the dark, staring at nothing.
“What are you doing sitting in the dark alone?” Yev asked genuinely confused.
No response.
“Where’s dad?” Yev asked noticing his father’s blank expression and lack of responses. He looked around and saw nothing, just a dark, empty house.
Yev looked back at his father and saw him slumped over, arms curled over his head, and shoulders shaking.
“Dad?” Yev asked moving closer to Mickey.
Yev put a hand on his father’s back and heard soft sobs coming from him.
Yev hugged his father’s slumped figure and waited till he was ready to ask again.
After a while of crying Mickey fell asleep on the sofa. Yev put the blanket over him and went to the balcony to call Ian.
**
Yev calling.
“Hey bud,” Ian greeted answering the phone reluctantly. He was laying on the sofa in his brother’s home.
“Where the fuck are you and why did I come home to dad sitting on the sofa alone in the dark? He fucking started crying when I asked him where you were. What happened?!” Yev yelled, voice wavering.
Ian held back his own tears. Knowing he was the reason Mickey was crying and Yev on the verge of tears made him want to crawl in a hole and die.
Ian answered, “I’m at Lip and Mandy’s house. Yev, things are complicated right now.”
“You’re not coming back,” Yev said. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.
“I-,” Ian started.
Yev interrupted him, “You’re just like everyone else. You promised you would never leave us. You promised you would never leave me, you promised me that after mom left! You promise dad! How could you do this to us?” Yev was now crying and Ian couldn’t contain his tears anymore.
“Yev this has nothing to do with you. I love you so much, and your father. Things are just different. They have been for a while… Your father and I just need some space,” Ian said through his tears.
“No, you need space. Dad clearly doesn’t want that or else he wouldn’t have just cried himself to sleep in my fucking arms! You know what fuck you. You’re no better than everyone else who’s left us,” Yev said before hanging up on Ian.
Ian was sobbing now. He couldn’t believe this. How did things get so fucked up?
For a month Ian has been staying at Debbie’s house. He preferred it to Fiona or Mandy’s, they tried to get him to talk all the time. Debbie understood Ian, she knew what he wanted and didn’t push him on things. He could tell though that her fiancee was getting annoyed that Ian’s stayed as long as he has.
Today was the day though that he was going to see Mickey and sign the divorce papers Lip got.
**
Mickey hasn’t seen Ian in a month. To say this has been the worst month of his life is an understatement. This has been the most torturous, dreadful, hellish month of his life. He has never felt this shitty in his entire life. Not when his father would beat on him just cause he could. Not when he found out Ian was fucking other guys when they were still in high school. Not when he was almost beaten to death for getting fucked up the ass by Ian. Not when he was almost beaten to death again for coming out of the closet. Not when Ian got depressed.
Nothing compared to finding love, having it, and it being ripped out from under you. He had everything he ever wanted. He had Ian all to himself, he had an incredible son, and they had a home they built together. They were free. They were finally fucking free to be together and they were for the past 15 years.
Free.
There was no way in hell he was signing those divorce papers today.
**
Ian and Lip entered the house after Mickey moved out of the doorway. Yev was at Fiona’s, sent there by Mickey.
“Okay so here we are,” Lip said placing the papers on the kitchen table.
Ian barely registered a word Lip said, what with Mickey staring at him like he was. He was giving him the look. The look he oh so craved when he was 17. Were those fucking butterflies in his stomach?
“Ian?” Lip said breaking Ian out of the bubble and ending the stare down.
“Huh?” Ian asked looking at his brother.
“Time to sign these,” Lip answered pointing to the divorce papers.
“Right,” Ian mumbled and made his way to the table. Lip to his right, Mickey to his left.
Ian stared down at the papers. Mickey didn’t sign them yet. Ian played with his wedding ring. He normally did that when he was nervous. Moving it around and around his finger. His hand was up by his chest as he played with the ring. He looked up to his hand as he moved the band around his finger.
Free. Ian saw inked onto his skin, on his ring finger just above his wedding ring.
It was a promise they made to each other years before they got married. A promise to always be free. Free to be themselves, free to be together.
“What am I doing?” Ian whispered.
**
Ian looked up at Mickey and said louder, “Mick, I’m sorry. I’m so-“
Mickey cut him off. He grabbed him by the back of his neck and kissed him. Mickey kissed Ian like he hasn’t had water in the desert for years. Ian grabbed onto Mickey, holding him close to him tightly.
“Alright then,” Lip said before leaving the house. Both men barely registered him at all they were so engrossed in each other.
Mickey broke the kiss and held Ian’s face in both of his hands while he stared into his eyes and said, “Don’t you fucking dare ever leave me again. You hear me? Don’t leave me.” Mickey teared up and stroked Ian’s cheek with his thumb.
Ian held onto both of Mickey’s shoulders and a tear ran down his cheek. He promised, “Never. I stay here. I stay with you.”
Mickey crushed his lips to Ian’s.
They started to tear each others clothes off throwing them all over the place. They stumbled their way into the bedroom.
Ian threw Mickey onto their bed, they were both in only their boxers now.
Ian jumped on top of Mickey and Mickey laughed.
“Fuck, I missed you so much,” Ian said diving back into another heat searing kiss.
Mickey moaned into the kiss and ran his hands down Ian’s back.
Ian moved from Mickey’s lips to his neck and sucked a deep, red mark there. He made a trail of open mouthed kisses down Mickey’s body. Mickey was like puddy in Ian’s hands. Ian sucked another deep, red mark right above Mickey’s waist line.
Mickey groaned out, hips bucking at Ian’s mouth on that sensitive spot.
Ian licked across Mickey’s waist before slipping his boxers off and swallowing him whole.
“Christ, Ian,” Mickey moaned out loudly.
Ian sucked harder and started licking up and down Mickey’s shaft. Mickey pulled at Ian’s fire, red hair and Ian let him go with a loud pop. Mickey got up and made Ian lay down.
Mickey did the same thing to Ian that he did to him.
Once they were on edge Ian grabbed the lube and warmed some up between his fingers. He was still on his back, Mickey not letting him get up. Mickey straddled Ian’s hips and lifted himself slightly so Ian could shove a finger in right up to his knuckle.
Mickey moaned at the contact and Ian started moving his finger in and out slowly before adding in a second finger.
When he considered Mickey stretched enough he slicked up his hard cock. Mickey positioned himself over Ian and lowered himself down onto Ian’s dick. Mickey felt so full. So full of Ian his head was spinning, and his heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest.
Mickey started fucking himself on Ian’s dick. Ian sat up slightly making the position deeper and hitting Mickey’s sweet spot.
Mickey tightened around Ian’s dick when he hit his prostate and they both groaned out.
Mickey placed his hand over Ian’s heart right over his name that was inked onto his skin. Ian smiled and did the same. He reached up with his left hand and grabbed Mickey’s face, pulling him into a kiss. Mickey parted his lips to let Ian in.
“I love you. I love you so much. Don’t leave. Ever again,” Mickey said through laboured breaths.
Ian panted, “Never again. God, I love you so much Mickey.”
At that Mickey came while yelling Ian’s name. Ian quickly followed calling out Mickey’s name.
After cleaning themselves up they lay there holding each other.
Mickey leaned over to face Ian and sat up slightly.
“We still have a lot to talk about firecrotch,” Mickey said looking down at Ian.
“Let’s go to the kitchen,” Ian said. He pecked Mickey on the lips before getting up and putting boxers on. Mickey followed his lead.
Mickey grabbed Ian by the arm, turning him around.
“Texted Yev. Told him to spend the night at Fiona’s, that we’re working things out,” Mickey told him, searching his eyes.
“Good,” Ian grinned and kissed Mickey on the lips.
Mickey smiled and the two of them went to the kitchen.
They saw the divorce papers still on the table. They looked at each other and grinned evilly.
They picked up the papers and tore them apart.
Ian dramatically threw the shredded up papers to the ground which erupted a laugh from himself. Mickey couldn’t help join in the laughter. Hearing Ian laugh again was the best sound in the world.
Once they stopped laughing they grabbed at each other and held on.
“You sure you want me around another 20 years?” Ian asked running his hand through Mickey’s dark hair.
Mickey rolled his eyes and said, “I want you till death do us part dumbass. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
Ian grinned and said, “You read my mind.”