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Magnus is miserable. It’s partly because of the alcohol in his system, but mostly because of his boyfriend’s continued absence.
He respected Alexander’s decision to study abroad for a semester, he really does, but knowing the man he loves is somewhere in the south of Italy rather than by his side is torture. He wants Alexander to be happy, but it’s hard to remember that while he’s drunk out of his mind with only Isabelle for company.
It also doesn’t help that his boyfriend’s sister is just as bothered by the lack of Alexander in their lives. She’s the one who dragged him out to a bar in the first place. He knows he should have said no, especially since he promised Alexander he’d call him later that night, once it was late enough in Italy for him to be awake.
“Life is just so fucking dull without him,” Isabelle is saying, nursing yet another drink in her hands. “I get that we’re supposed to have lives and hobbies outside of our siblings, but Alec is everything to me, and I can’t believe he decided to abandon us like this! Like, what’s so great about Italy? I bet he just wanted to be able to say he’d lived in Europe without having it be a lie.”
“Or maybe he wanted a break from us,” Magnus adds, frowning at the thought. Isabelle and he have never been the most rational drunks, and this time Alexander isn’t here to hold them back. “I mean, it’s not like he’s made a huge effort to visit us.”
He’s being completely ridiculous and he knows it. Plane tickets are no small expense, and the fact that Alexander takes the time to talk to Magnus at least once a day is proof enough that he loves him. However, he’s never claimed to be logical when it comes to his heart, and especially not when it comes to Alexander. His boyfriend brings out the best and the worst in him, and right now he’s at his lowest.
“Maybe we should go visit him,” Isabelle suggests. It’s a stupid idea, but Magnus perks up at the thought anyways. He’s always dreamed of going back to Europe, and Italy isn’t London, but it’s better than nothing. Especially if it means he gets to see Alexander again. “That way I could kick his ass in person instead of yelling at him through the phone.”
“Calls suck,” Magnus pouts. They don’t, not really, since it means he gets to stay in touch with Alexander and all his other worldwide friends, but he’s drunk and sad and just really misses his boyfriend. “I’m supposed to be calling Alexander soon. Do you think he’d be mad at me if I cancelled?”
“He doesn’t deserve to be angry,” Isabelle snaps. “He’s the one who left us. I can’t believe he talks to you every day but barely sends me a text every three days. What’s so special about you?”
“I’m his boyfriend, Isabelle.”
“And I’m his sister, Magnus.”
They continue sniping at each other for a few minutes, but it’s getting late and Magnus is more than a little bit tipsy and he knows the bartender is about to throw them out anyways, so he gently starts guiding Isabelle out of the bar.
Well, as gently as he can considering he’s drunk and unsteady on his feet and not sure where the floor ends. Does the floor ever end?
“Here, take a cab,” he pushes his friend towards the taxi as it stops in front of them and pulls out a few bills, hoping it’ll cover the trip. If not, Maia will probably pay for it once Isabelle reaches their apartment.
“What about you?” Isabelle asks, although she’s already ducking into the cab. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Of course I will,” Magnus waves her concerns away. “The loft is only a few minutes from here, I’ll be more than fine. Besides, Alexander will be calling me soon, he’ll make sure I get back safely.”
Isabelle nods, and then she’s gone. Magnus stares at the cab as he leaves before looking around, wondering which way he’s supposed to go. It takes him a moment – he’s really rather drunk – but he eventually starts heading left, confident he’ll make it to his loft in no time.
The walk back is spent wallowing in misery again. It’s not like he wants to be sad, but Alexander isn’t here and Isabelle left and there’s no more alcohol at his apartment and he’s sleepy.
He’s almost back home when his phone rings. It takes him a second to pull it out of his pocket and accept the call, but then Alexander’s voice is in his ear and he’s stumbling into his apartment and the world doesn’t seem as bad as it did a few minutes earlier. Alexander always has that effect on him.
“Darling,” he drawls, a dopey grin making its way onto his face. “You’re here.”
He frowns as soon as he says the words, because that’s the whole reason behind his drunken state: Alexander isn’t here. He’s in Italy, living his best life and meeting new people and living life without Magnus. It isn’t fair, and Magnus misses him so much, and now he’s too drunk to say any of that.
“Hi, love,” Alexander murmurs into his ear. Magnus has never heard sweeter words. “How are you doing tonight? It’s a bit late for you to still be awake.”
“It’s never too late for you,” Magnus answers. “Besides, I’m not tired. I have too many thoughts going on to sleep. How do I stop the thoughts, Alexander? They’re so loud all the time.”
There’s a pause. On the other end of the line, Magnus hears Alexander shuffle. He wonders if he’s in bed, if he’s thinking about Magnus too. Magnus always misses Alexander in the morning, even more than he does during the day.
“Magnus, love, are you drunk?” his boyfriend asks, voice low and concerned, as well as a tiny bit amused.
“I was out with Isabelle,” Magnus pouts, kicking off his shoes and heading for the kitchen. He needs water. Alexander would want him to have water. “We had a few drinks, but not too many, don’t worry. I’m completely fine, nothing some water and Advil can’t fix.”
He’s lying, of course. The sound of Alexander’s voice alone makes him want to cry and beg his boyfriend to come back. He’s not about to admit that out loud, though. Alexander doesn’t need to hear him whine and sob about how sad he is without him. They’re adults, for heaven’s sake.
“Hmm, did the two of you have fun?” Magnus opens his mouth to say yes, but he’s always hated lying to Alexander, and he doesn’t want to start now. Not for things that really matter, like his feelings.
He’s always told Alexander to be honest with his feelings, and if there’s one thing he hates, it’s hypocrites.
“Not really,” he murmurs, throwing himself onto his couch and chugging down his glass of water. “We miss you too much to enjoy it, honestly. Are you sure you can’t come home for a week?”
“I wish I could,” Alexander answers. He sounds truly regretful but Magnus’ heart still breaks. He just wants to see him again, is that too much to ask? “But I’ll be home in less than a month, love.”
Magnus’ heart stops. Less than a month? He thought Alexander would be gone for another two months at least. Has time really flown that fast? Or maybe Magnus knew this but forgot because of the vodka currently clogging his bloodstream and mind.
“Less than a month?” he inquires anyways, his voice quiet and unsure. “I thought…”
“I’m coming back early,” Alexander interrupts him. Magnus can hear the frown in his voice and wonders what caused it. “Love, we talked about this yesterday. Are you sure you’re alright?”
Suddenly, Magnus remembers. Alexander talking to him excitedly whilst Magnus was in bed, late at night. Alexander telling him he loved him too much to stay away. Alexander begging him not to cry, promising he would be there soon. It was the reason why Isabelle and he had gone out in the first place. They’d been so excited, so happy to see Alexander again.
“Oh my god, Magnus, did you forget?” Alexander chuckles. It’s robotic and broken through the phone, but it’s still one of the prettiest noises Magnus has ever heard. “Wait a second, were Izzy and you out to celebrate my return?”
He doesn’t answer, but his silence is damning. Alexander bursts out laughing, the sound too loud for Magnus’ poor, hazy brain. He pouts a little bit, trying to project it across the ocean and hoping Alexander can imagine it, wherever he is.
“I should have known,” Alexander continues, not even attempting to apologise for his teasing words and laughter. “Izzy and you are truly the worst types of drunks. Did she get angry again? I bet she did. I hope you dragged her out of there before she could do anything she regretted. If I have to bail her out of jail for punching some drunk asshole again, I’m going to be pissed.”
“She did not punch anyone,” Magnus scoffs. “And you’re one to talk about strange drunken behaviour. You get all… lovey dovey.”
“Yes, Magnus,” Alexander says dryly. “I do. But at least I don’t start crying about my missing cat when he’s in my arms. Or sob about my favourite show being cancelled. Or forget why I was out celebrating in the first place.”
“Well excuse me for missing you,” Magnus huffs, although there’s a little smile quirking at his lips. He loves it when Alexander and he are drunk together. His boyfriend always starts spouting compliments faster than he can breathe, and Magnus can only burst out crying at how perfect his Alexander is. Being drunk alone isn’t half as fun. “I just want to see you again. Have I already said that?”
“You have,” Alexander answers. “But I don’t mind hearing it a second time, or a third, or even a fourth. I’ll never grow tired of hearing how much you love me.”
“I didn’t say I loved you,” Magnus protests. On the other end of the line, Alexander sighs long-sufferingly.
“Well that’s a shame,” his boyfriend sighs. “Because I love you very much, Magnus Bane. I love you so much that I’m about a second away from jumping onto the next plane to New York City. I love you so much that I know exactly what you look like right now, probably laying on the couch with the glass of water balanced precariously on your chest. I love you so much, Magnus, and I’ll be devastated if you don’t feel the same way.”
His words are laced with humour, the smile obvious in his voice, and Magnus feels a tear trickle down his face. He just loves this man so much and he doesn’t know how he’s going to live for a second longer without him by his side.
“I love you too,” he chokes on a sob, hiding his face in the sofa’s pillows as he lets himself cry. “Stay with me until I fall asleep?”
“You don’t even have to ask, love.”
The next morning, he wakes up with a hangover and a hundred regrets, but with the memory of Alexander’s sweet voice to get him through the day.
He’ll be home soon. Magnus can’t wait.