Work Text:
It's moments like these when Betty wonders where everything went wrong.
As she stands amongst her friends with Jughead’s arm around her shoulders and a smile pasted on her face, she wishes she could pinpoint exactly which decision had caused her to end up here.
Betty’s engagement party is lovely, of course. She would expect nothing less from Veronica Lodge. Things had been tense between them for a while when they’d both returned to Riverdale after college, but once Betty started seeing Jughead again and Veronica had reconciled with Archie, Veronica’s icy demeanor had begun to thaw. Now, she gives Betty a wink from across the room, sipping a drink she’d acquired from the champagne fountain. Veronica is perfectly casted in the role of Betty's maid of honor and default wedding planner, really. She chats effortlessly with Betty and Jughead's friends and family, monitors the elaborate spread of food from the caterers, gives Betty's arm a reassuring squeeze each time she brushes past.
Betty watches as Archie walks up behind Veronica and wraps his arms around her waist. Veronica's eyes go wide with surprise for a moment before she relaxes, reaching up to cup his face as she smiles affectionately. Betty looks away quickly, trying to swallow down the sour taste in her mouth. She finds herself clutching the material of her pink dress in her fists, a dress that isn’t so different from one she’d worn years ago.
“Betty.”
Betty looks up from her phone, finding Archie’s eyes in the bathroom mirror. They’ve just finished dyeing his hair back to red after his time hiding out in the Canadian wilderness. She likes him like this.
“What is it, Arch?” she asks.
“I don’t know, I guess it just feels really good to be myself again.” He smiles, running his hands through his hair. Betty smiles too; she can never resist with him. Things can finally go back to normal, she thinks. He won’t be going back to prison again or fighting off wild bears; he can just be Archie. Her best friend in the whole world.
Betty's about to suggest that they head to La Bonne Nuit for Archie’s “Welcome Back” party when she notices the change in his expression. He's still looking in the mirror, but his smile is pained, almost wistful.
“Archie? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just…thinking.” He pauses, turning away from the mirror to face her. “After the bear attack, when I was laying there in the cabin clinging to life, I had a…vision.”
Betty frowns. “What sort of vision?”
“I don’t know, it was probably just a weird dream. But I had this feeling that I was seeing something important. That I was seeing the moment everything went wrong.”
“And what did you see?” Betty questions. The question makes something inexplicable spark in her chest.
“Jughead was there, and Veronica too, wearing that cape she had on when we first met. And…you. Wearing your dress from the sophomore back to school dance.”
Betty waits for him to say more, but he doesn't. He's just looking at her strangely, in a way she isn’t sure he has before. It isn’t unpleasant, necessarily, but Betty can already feel her fight or flight response kicking in.
“It was probably just a nightmare. I mean, you almost died, Arch,” Betty said.
“I know, but afterward I felt like I had a new perspective on everything, or something. Like maybe things could’ve been different if I hadn’t- if we hadn’t-”
“Archie,” she interrupts.
“Betty, if I had never started dating Veronica, I never would’ve gotten involved with her dad, I never would’ve gone to prison, I never would’ve put the people I love in danger. Not to mention the fact that other people have died because of me-”
“Archie,” Betty says firmly. She reaches out to take his hand and squeezes it reassuringly. It's like a reflex, the need to comfort Archie. “You love Veronica, don’t you? You never meant to hurt anyone, and all of those things are in the past. You can’t change anything that happened." It makes her ache to see him this way, an uncomfortable, too-warm pressure.
Archie looks at her sadly before his eyes shift to his hand clasped in hers. “I know. Believe me, I know.”
“Betty!”
Cheryl’s voice jolts Betty back to reality. Her cousin is standing in front of her and Jughead with Toni, grinning ear to ear.
“Let me see the ring!” Cheryl demands. Betty gingerly holds out her left hand, allowing Cheryl to inspect the band. “Wow. A bit mundane for my tastes, but I’m impressed with your choice, Jughead!” Turning to Betty, she fake-whispers: “Are you sure this isn’t from a pawn shop?”
Jughead scoffs. “God, Cheryl, you really couldn’t leave the petty insults in high school, could you?”
Cheryl’s smile is sickeningly sweet, and Betty catches Toni trying to stifle a laugh. “Oh, I’m just getting started. Once you’re married, you’ll actually be Hobo and Bride of Hobo.” She takes Toni’s hand. “Anyway! Let’s get a drink, TT, I’m parched. Toodles!” She waves flippantly to Betty and Jughead as Toni gives them a face that says “I’m sorry.”
“You know, I want to say I can’t believe Cheryl hasn’t changed since high school, but honestly I’m not surprised,” Jughead says to Betty.
Once you’re married. Once you’re married. Once you’re married. Betty’s head is spinning.
“Betty? Are you feeling alright?” Jughead asks.
Betty gives him a tight lipped smile, squeezing his arm. “I’m fine, Jug, just a bit light headed. I think I’m gonna get some air.”
“Do you want me to come?”
“No, you stay. We shouldn’t both be ditching our engagement party,” Betty replies. She quickly kisses his cheek before hurrying toward the closest exit, hoping her escape doesn't look as frantic as it feels.
She finds herself outside, on a porch with a swing. She sits down and takes the first deep breath she’s been able to all night, looking out across the perfectly manicured lawn and backyard pond. The party venue is a renovated barn on the outskirts of Riverdale. When Veronica had first shown it to her, Betty had been surprised that the town had a place that looked so…innocent. The barn is straight out of an issue of Architectural Digest, with welcoming open ceilings and string lights aplenty. It’s the perfect venue for the perfect party. The perfect party for the perfect couple.
Perfect. Betty still hates that word. It's what her relationship is, to everyone inside the party. Betty and Jughead. Jughead and Betty. The perfect pair, perfect couple, Romeo and Juliet, whatever.
It’s not that Betty doesn’t love Jughead. Her love for him is quiet and comfortable, a reassuring presence that has always and will always be there. It’s solving mysteries and talking about books and staying up all night watching classic films. But it doesn’t give her an ache in her chest that threatens to burst her heart open. It doesn’t make her come alive, at least not anymore.
Betty hears the porch boards creek and looks toward the door, expecting to see Jughead, like her thoughts had summoned him or something.
It’s Archie instead.
“Want some company?” he asks. Betty nods, patting the seat next to her. He sits down, rocking the swing slightly and causing Betty to shift closer to him. She tries not to think about how their legs are almost touching.
“Nice party,” Archie comments.
“Yeah, V really outdid herself,” Betty replies. They’re silent for a moment, gently rocking back and forth. Archie has his feet flat on the ground, while only the heels of Betty’s shoes touch. She’s hyperaware of their hands hanging at their sides, and their shoulders brush when Archie turns to look at her.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
Betty makes the mistake of looking right at him. His soft brown eyes are filled with so much warmth and concern that she feels a lump in her throat.
“Betty? What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? You don’t like it?” Archie asks.
“No, it’s not that. It’s…it’s us,” Betty replies.
Archie is still giving her that earnest, worried look, and Betty thinks she knows where it all went wrong. She’s known all along; she just hasn't wanted to admit it, because it’s all her fault. She ruined everything when he wrote her a song during their senior year and she didn’t let him finish playing it. She really ruined everything when he played that same song at prom and she pushed him away again, afraid of what letting him get close would mean. She had killed any chance of them being together and hammered the nail into the coffin when she avoided Archie all summer and left for college without saying goodbye. Each day that they hadn’t spoken throughout the past five years was another strike of the hammer, sealing Betty’s fate.
She’s dimly aware of silent tears staining her cheeks as she avoids Archie’s gaze, staring straight ahead at the sun setting over the lawn. Archie reaches out and gently places his hand on her leg. “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, but I’m here. Always,” he says. He doesn’t pressure her to speak; he never has.
And he’s always there for her, even when he shouldn’t be. Betty thinks that’s the worst part.
She takes a shaky breath. “Arch...thank you.”
“Of course, Betty.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she confesses. “I just feel so lost. I’m supposed to be celebrating my engagement to Jughead, but instead I’m out here wallowing. With you.” Betty glances at Archie and finds that he’s still looking at her intently. She keeps waiting for him to remove his hand from her leg, but it stays firmly in place. “I don’t even know why I’m saying any of this” she says.
“You can tell me anything,” Archie replies, smiling a little. “We’re supposed to be best friends, remember?”
Even though Betty knows he just wants to make her feel better, the words sound hollow. But if he truly thinks they’re still best friends then, fine, she’ll treat him like her best friend.
“I don’t want to marry Jughead,” Betty says. It’s the first time she’s said the words aloud.
“What?” Archie's brow furrows. “But you love Jughead, you guys have been in love since high school. How can you say that, after everything?”
Betty can hear what he really wants to say in the tone of his voice. How can you say that after you chose him over me?
“Do you think it’s possible to be in love with the idea of someone?” Betty asks him.
“What do you mean? That you weren’t actually in love with him this whole time?”
Betty shakes her head. “No, I never would have stayed with him if I didn’t love him. But...that love isn’t the same anymore.” Archie gives her a quizzical look, and she continues. “When I look at Jughead, I see safety. I have this perfect idea in my head of what our life would look like. It’s easy. It’s always been easy. And that’s...”
“...the problem,” Archie finishes for her. Their eyes meet, and Betty senses a familiar feeling of understanding between them.
Archie lets out a long breath, shaking his head slightly. “I actually know exactly how you feel.”
Does he mean with Veronica? Betty wonders. “Really?” she says.
He nods. “I’m always so afraid of hurting people. I would do anything to avoid seeing the people I care about in pain, even if I’m sacrificing my own feelings.” He smiles ruefully. “Seems like we have that in common apparently.”
Impulsively, Betty reaches out and takes the hand that Archie had placed on her leg, intertwining their fingers together. Her engagement ring flashes under the porch lights, a sad reminder. He squeezes her hand and she squeezes back.
“Archie…” Betty can’t imagine how she was keeping her eyes off of him before. The warm glow from the porch bulbs mixing with the last rays of daylight makes him look radiant. He looks soft and inviting, blurred a little around the edges like a Polaroid photograph.
“I don’t know what to do next,” she admits.
They’re quiet for a moment, listening to the sound of cicadas in the trees. “I think you need to be honest,” Archie says finally.
The thought of calling off her engagement in the middle of this party makes Betty want to be sick. She can picture Jughead’s face, can picture the expression of betrayal she'll find on his face. She can also picture Veronica’s look of confusion, mixed with a hint of pity that she’ll try to hide. And Archie...it amazes Betty how much she’s able to talk to Archie without either of them actually stating anything clearly, even all these years later.
“I wish things were simpler,” Betty tells him.
“When have things ever been simple for us?” Archie replies.
Betty lets out a short laugh. It’s the truth now, but it wasn’t always. “Back when it was just you and me in a booth at Pop’s. Back before...everything.”
Archie doesn’t say anything in response, and Betty wonders if he’s thinking the same thing as her. Before Veronica and Jughead. Before we fell in love with the wrong people and convinced ourselves it was right.
Archie runs his thumb over Betty’s, looking at their hands. “I don’t want to hurt Veronica,” he says absently.
Betty knows she deserves to hear that. It’s practically a mirror image of what she said to Archie back in high school, when she rejected him for the first time. What did she expect? Did she really assume Archie was just going to end his relationship the second she expressed doubt about Jughead?
She's trying to think of ways to move the conversation out of dangerous territory when Archie continues. “I don’t want to hurt Veronica,” he says again, “but...I don’t want to hurt you, either.”
The words should be music to Betty's ears, but she knows better than to entertain a fantasy where no one gets hurt. She can’t help but laugh bitterly. “What the hell are we supposed to do now, Arch? We’ve already made a mess of things once.” Betty's out of ideas, out of solutions, and it scares her.
“I wish I had an answer, Betty,” he tells her. “Right now, can we just...I just want to be here with you. I'm glad I'm here with you.”
Betty meets his eyes. He’s glad he’s here with her, and he’s looking at her like she hung the moon. She knows that they should get up and go back inside to the party. Instead, she rests her head on his shoulder. She decides she deserves to be selfish for once.
She feels Archie sigh. “We’re a mess,” he says.
They watch the last few hints of sunlight disappear below the horizon before Betty answers. “Yeah. But this is nice, right?”