Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Marinette hunched over her laptop, her tongue sticking slightly out the side of her mouth, as she concentrated on the keys in front of her. She wasn’t a fast writer, or a good writer, or even one who knew how to properly type. Instead, she focused really hard on the keyboard and used her middle and forefingers to pound out a sentence. It was loud, and uneven, and often times it drove Tikki up the wall.

“Please Marinette,” Tikki begged from her tiny pillow on Marinette’s bed. “It’s two in the morning. Can you please just save what you’re working on and come to bed?”

“Almost,” Marinette said. She was in her pink pajama pants and a white tank top, and her hands were starting to hurt. “I just want to finish this scene.”

“You’ve been finishing it for two hours,” Tikki grumbled. “And you’ve been writing for weeks. Can you just, you know, do it in the morning?”

“Tikki, just get some sleep if you’re tired,” Marinette said, her eyes on the keyboard in front of her. “GAAH! I had the caps lock on for a whole sentence.”

“I can’t sleep,” Tikki said through a yawn. “You type too loud.”

“Sorry, can’t be helped,” Marinette said as she continued to work.

Tikki floated up beside her and stared with blurry eyes at the screen. “Wait. This isn’t a school report. Are… Is this a story?”

Marinette let out an ‘eep!’ as she frantically shut her monitor. “No! No. It’s just words. Words on a screen. That I wrote. Wrotey words.”

“May I read it?” Tikki asked.

Marinette blushed. “It’s, um, it’s a bit personal? I don’t know.” She bit her lip and smiled. “I’m writing a story about, you know, being a hero.”

Tikki’s head snapped to Marinette. “Marinette! You know you can’t reveal your identity!”

“I know,” Marinette said as she grabbed a stuffed rabbit and hugged it. “I wrote about being Multimouse, and I changed the names. No one would know it was about me. I think.”

Marinette noticed Tikki was giving her a look. “What’s wrong?”

Tikki glanced at the computer and then at Marinette. “What’s wrong with being Ladybug?”

“Are you… Oh, my God. You’re jealous!” Marinette said.

“I am not!” Tikki said. She crossed her arms and looked to the side. “It’s just, you’ve had one adventure with Mullo, and I can do more, and… Stop looking at me like that. I am not jealous!”

Marinette giggled and patted Tikki on the head. “You’ll always be my kwami. You know that. Although, Mullo was pretty cool…”

Tikki sighed and glared at Marinette. “Go to bed, Marinette.”

Marinette yawned and looked at her computer. Honestly, she wanted to continue, but that would require opening her laptop back up, and at two in the morning that was just so hard. Also, her eyes were starting to adjust to the light of the room.

“Yeah, okay,” Marinette said. She downed a cup of warm juice and shuffled to her bed, sleep suddenly sounding awesome. “I can work on that scene in the morning.”

“What scene?” Tikki asked.

“Oh,” Marinette yawned. “Just a scene. Maybe a love scene? Don’t worry about it.” Another yawn interrupted her words. "Most of this is love scene stuff. Nothing identity related at all."

Tikki eyed her master for a moment. “If you say so,” she said.

“G’night Tikki,” Marinette mumbled as she passed out on top of her comforter.

“Goodnight,” Tikki said, her mind still turning over what she had just seen. As Marinette slept, Tikki found herself drifting back to the laptop.

***

“Yours too?” Plagg asked.

They were floating on the roof of the school. Below, both Adrien and Marinette were propped up and trying to stay awake through a history lesson. It has no bearing on this story but if you’re curious, yes. They both passed out mid-lecture.

Tikki nodded. “She was up all night. At first I thought it was for a class paper, but then when I looked at it, I saw… Plagg, she’s writing about being a miraculous holder!”

Plagg shrugged. “Meh. My guy does that, too. His stuff is awful, though.” Plagg leaned back and cleared his throat. “Will Ladybug fall for the mysterious, rich, handsome, blonde young man who saved her that fateful, rainy night? Or will their love be destined for doom?” Plagg stuck out his tongue. “I know you think I’m being silly, but I swear to God, that was word for word the tagline for one of his posts.”

“I wonder… Is this for the Ladyblog’s story contest?” Tikki asked. “Marinette said she wasn’t interested, but now I’m not so sure.”

The Ladyblog story contest had been posted by Alya a few weeks ago. People could upload their own miraculous stories to share with the community. It was billed as a way to get people to share their love of Ladybug and her friends, but Alya also saw it as a way to get a massive traffic boost for her site.

“Hmmm,” Tikki thought to herself. Plagg eyed her. “I don’t think so? I mean, it might have been inspired by that, but I think it’s just for her.”

Plagg eyed her for a moment. “What are you thinking, sugar cube?”

Tikki glanced to Plagg and said, “Can I share something with you? And can you promise not to tell?”

Plagg crossed his heart. “On my honor, such as it is.”

Tikki blushed and whispered, “It was really bad.”

Plagg smirked. “Really?”

Tikki nodded. “Yeah. Like, really bad. It was, oh jeez. I snuck a look after she went to bed and wow.” Tikki shook her head. “Wow.”

“Maybe you’re right and she’s writing it just for her?” Plagg suggested.

“Maybe,” Tikki said. “That’s what she hinted at. She was really shy about it, so I can see that.” She giggled. “She freaked out when I tried to read it.”

Plagg grinned. “Well then, as her kwami, shouldn’t you be helping her overcome her fear?”

Tikki eyed Plagg suspiciously. “What do you mean by that?”

Plagg looked in the direction of the Dupain-Cheng bakery. “Oh, nothing. It’s just… She’s done so much for us, maybe we should return the favor?”

Tikki’s eyes went wide as she started to register what Plagg was suggesting. “No. Plagg, no! Don’t you dare!”

“Try and stop me, sugar cube!” Plagg launched off in the direction of the bakery, cackling as he flew. Tikki was racing behind, screaming the whole way.

***

“Okay,” Plagg said, scrolling through Marinette’s computer. “You were right. This really is terrible and great all at once. I mean, it’s great, but in that way that something awful loops back around to great? It’s hard to explain.” He scrolled a bit and whistled. “This thing is huge! It’s like she wrote a book!”

Tikki sat beside him and simmered. “Please don’t mess with her work. I feel bad that I told you.”

Plagg shook his head. “Naw, I’m not gonna mess with it.” He loaded the Ladyblog in a browser. “Gotta thank Adrien for teaching me about computers. Remember when we had to use cauldrons to contact people? Man, those were messy. Lousy signal, too.”

“What are you doing?” Tikki asked.

Plagg went to the upload section of the Ladyblog. “I’m helping your holder get over her fear of sharing her writing.”

“Plagg, no!”

“Plagg, YES!” And with that, he clicked SUBMIT.

Tikki stared at the screen in horror. “What did you just do?”

Plagg smirked and dusted off his hands. “I just made your girl famous.”

***

It was lunchtime at François Dupont, and both Marinette and Adrien were confused as to where their kwamis had run off to. Adrien shrugged it off, figuring Plagg was raiding a cheese counter somewhere, while Marinette was hyperventilating until she saw a red streak shoot into her purse.

Marinette leaned down and whispered into her purse. “Hey, are you okay? Where were you?”

“I’m so sorry!” Tikki quietly cried. “I tried to stop him! It’s all my fault for even mentioning it!”

“Mentioning what?” Marinette asked.

Also at the table were Nino and Alya. They were watching Marinette as they ate their sandwiches.

Nino leaned over and whispered to Alya, “Marinette’s talking to her purse again.”

Alya waved him off but kept watching her. “I know. I don’t know why, but just let it happen.”

Just then, phones throughout the cafeteria dinged. Alya checked hers and smiled. “Cool, a new upload to the Ladyblog. This time it’s a story from… Oh my God, from a miraculous holder?”

Marinette’s eyes snapped to Alya. “Say what now?”

“The Amazing Adventures of Multimouse, by Jessica Steel-Tiger,” Alya read. “A confession of the amazing adventures of being a miraculous holder.”

Marinette paled, her jaw nearly slamming onto the table. She looked into her purse at Tikki, who was cowering. “What. Did. You. Do?” She hissed at the kwami.

Tikki shrugged and gave her a pleading look.

Alya’s eyes went wide. “Wait, this might be legit. Listen to this.” She switched to her reading voice. “Ladybug, confident and awesome-looking with a totally awesome butt and super cool pigtails, dropped in front of Jessica Steel-Tiger, an award-winning fashion designer, paralegal, and ballerina. She held out an ornate, black and red box and said, ‘Jessica Steel-Tiger, here is the miraculous of the Mouse, which grants the power of multiplication. You will use it to assist me in my fight against evil. Once you are finished, you will return the miraculous to me.’ Ladybug held out the box and Jessica took it, not sure if she was ready, but knowing only she could help her hero. Yep. That’s, um,” She glanced to Marinette. “That sounds like what she does, I mean, according to that one time I interviewed Rena Rouge.”

Marinette’s mouth was opening and closing on its own. “It’s probably just a fan,” she meekly said.

Nino opened the story on his phone and started reading. Marinette watched them with increasing horror growing in the pit of her stomach. After a bit, Nino started laughing. Clearing his throat, he read, “Multimouse stopped on the rain covered rooftop, as it was raining, and the rain made it wet. There, wet in the rain, was the most handsome boy she’d ever seen. One look, and Jessica started to quiver. He had skin like alabaster, hair that was golden and perfect, like a statue, or gold shaped like a statue into a gold statue, and a smile that was wide and full of sexy teeth and just for her. ‘Hello there,’ he said in a voice that made her melt inside. ‘I’m Aberean Alrest, the hot model, millionaire playboy and secret super spy. I was watching you leap from rooftop to rooftop and I’ve fallen in love with you.’ Jessica quivered even more in the rain.”

Nino started pounding the table. “This is gold!” He was laughing so much he started coughing. “Hey! Adrien! Have you checked your phone?”

Marinette nearly leapt across the table, but then stopped herself. ‘Cool it,’ she thought. ‘It’s cool. No one knows it’s you. But it’s obviously about Adrien! Oh God. I’m going to have a stroke.’

Adrien came over to their table with his tray. He yawned and sat down beside Marinette, who made a noise in her throat at him, much like a bird.

Adrien glanced at her and nodded. “Hey Marinette. Man, that lecture was boring, wasn’t it?”

She tried to respond, but it came out as a stuttered squawk.

Adrien nodded and took a bite of his sandwich. “You said it.” He looked over to Nino. “What’s so funny?”

Nino slid him his phone, still laughing so hard he could barely breathe. “D… Dude,” he said. “Read this. Out loud.”

Adrien shrugged and picked up the phone. “Jessica traced his abs through his wet shirt, noting that each of them sang only for her, like a sexy chorus of supermodel super-spy man-meat. His green eyes, green like emeralds that were the greenest emerald, locked on to hers and held her down, panting and yearning, on the roof. There, in the rain, he pulled her close. ‘I love you, Multimouse,’ he said, his husky voice husking her passion, like wheat being husked by a wheat husker, but sexier. ‘I love you too, Abrean, but our love must remain secret for the safety of the world.’ She said as he put his mouth on hers and kissed her with lips lit by the passion of a thousand sleepless nights. Also, he used his tongue. It was awesome and so hot.”

Adrien looked up at Nino, who had his head buried in Alya’s shoulder and had gone from laughing to making some kind of honking noise. “What is this?”

“It’s a story that was uploaded to the Ladyblog,” Alya said as she patted her boyfriend on the back. “It’s bad, but it looks like it was written by an actual miraculous holder. Also, um, it seems to be about you? As in you’re the love interest?”

Adrien blushed. “Um, that happens sometimes? Nathalie intercepts most of it, but, um, sometimes people send me things.” He shrank a bit. “It’s usually stuff that’s not very comfortable to read.”

“OOOOOH MY GOD,” Alix said, rolling up with her phone in her hand. She nearly collided with their table and grinned at Adrien. “Have you read it? TELL ME YOU’VE READ IT.”

“Did you do this?” Alya asked.

Alix shook her head. “Heeeelllllllll no. You think I’d debase myself like this? I’m not even into him,” she pointed at Adrien and then cringed when she saw his face. “Sorry. No offense.”

“None taken,” Adrien said. “And yes, we’ve just read a little.”

“Read more, Abrean! Check it! I’m in this shit show, too!” She scrolled on her phone and started reading out loud. “The akuma, a short, spunky, take-no-prisoners redhead with a penchant for violence, stood before them and grinned with sinister teeth. ‘I am Skatemonger!’ The akuma roared. Under her arm was the passed-put but still very hot Abrean.”

“’Let him go, Skatemonger,’ Multimouse cried. Her jump rope was out and swinging, like a whip, or a yoyo without the yoyo part at the end. ‘Those abs belong to the world!’”

“‘You’ll never taste his sweet lips again, Multimouse! For now, I will now skate him… To DEATH!’ Skatemonger then started skating towards the Eiffel Tower with her demon-powered rocket skates, heckbent on throwing the deliciously perfect Abrean from its topmost beam.”

Alix looked up at them with a serious expression. “This is the greatest Goddamn thing I’ve ever read.”

Alya looked at her. “You’re sure it’s supposed to be you?”

Alix pointed at the screen. “Before she’s akumatized, she’s called Alexa. Short? Spunky? Redhead? Violent? Dude, it’s ME.” She spun around to face the cafeteria and pumped her fists in the air. “I’M THE MOTHERFUCKING SKATEMONGER!”

A chorus of random cheers went up. From the far side of the cafeteria, Caline Bustier spit out her cocoa and screamed, “ALIX!”

“Oh, my God,” Marinette whimpered. If she could have collapsed on herself at that moment, she would have.

“Are we all in here?” Alya asked. She skimmed as her eyes narrowed. “Waaaiiit. How would this person even know who we are unless they were…?” She turned beet red and stopped.

“What is it?” Nino asked. He leaned in and read over her shoulder.

Alya read aloud. “Multimouse quietly came across Rena Rouge and Carapace, both locked in a passionate embrace on top of a roof. Rena was pinned against a wall while Carapace had his way with the wild, busty fox woman. Violently, and with heaving moans of passion, the muscular turtle man ripped off her… Oh, my God.”

Alya blushed as Nino slowly reached for the phone. “Um, do you mind if I..?”

Alya jerked it away from him. “Back off! This is…” She cleared her throat. Her face was beet red. “This isn’t lunch time appropriate.”

“Alya?” Marinette whimpered. “Maybe it was meant as an escapist romantic fantasy by someone and it was never meant to be shared? And, um, maybe you should take the story down if it’s, um so inappropriate?”

Alix spun back around. “No! Don’t you dare. This is gold. Absolute gold! Your hits are going to go through the roof with this!”

Say what you want; Alix knew how to play people if she had to. Alya’s eyes widened as she quickly went to check the traffic stats for the post. “Oh,” she said. “Okay then. Um, I agree with Alix. The story stays.”

“But, but, but…” Marinette stuttered.

Alya waved her off. “Relax, girl. It’s not like you’re in here. At least, I haven’t gotten to you yet if you are.” She kept scrolling.

“But…” Marinette said as the bell rang. Her friends got up and took their trays to the side counter as she looked to her purse. “My life is over.”

“Maybe people will move onto something else?” Tikki suggested.

“Yeah,” Marinette said, nodding. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not like everyone reads the Ladyblog.”

***

This was François Dupont.

Everyone read the Ladyblog.

Marinette and the class were shuffling back to the classroom as Chloé burst in with Sabrina in tow. “Alright,” she announced loudly to the class. “Which one of you wrote this?”

The class shrugged. I mean, they knew what she was talking about, but the identity of the author had not yet been determined.

“Chloé?” Ms. Bustier said from behind her. “Dear, take your seat. Class is about to begin and…”

“One moment, Ms. Bustier,” Chloé said. “This concerns everyone, yourself included.”

Caline blinked. “What?”

“Sabrina?” Chloé said, her arms crossed. “Read.”

Sabrina took out her phone, scrolled, and cleared her throat. “Multimouse swung from the top of the rooftop, reaching out and catching Queen Bee as she floundered, her line cut by the Love Doctor’s razor sharp hearts. ‘I’m falling!’ Queen Bee cried out as Multimouose caught her and swung her to safety. They landed perfectly and Queen Bee hugged Multimouse. She said, ‘You are so cool! You are the coolest hero in Paris and cooler than me, and I want to be your friend!’ Multimouse stepped back and detransformed. ‘Even if I’m… Jessica Steel-Tiger?’ She asked. Queen Bee nodded. ‘Of course! I’ve always looked up to you and thought you were super cool! I only tease to cover my own crippling insecurities. Please be my friend!’ Jessica hugged her as she cried into her shoulder.”

“That’s good,” Chloé said. “Now, I don’t know who this person thin…”

“’I’m so sorry I’m a bully!’ Queen Bee cried. ‘I’m petty and cruel and I say mean things, and I’m even mean to my best friend, Selena!’ Jessica comforted her and…”

“That’s enough, Sabrina.” Chloé growled. “Look, I want to know…”

“She continued to sob against Jessica’s shoulder. ‘If only the world knew about our secret love, and how I boss her around because I desire her and long to hear her hot cries of passion!’ She…”

“SABRINA!” Chloé snapped, her face crimson. “That’s. Enough.”

Sabrina cleared her throat. “Sorry. Just trying to get to the good stuff.”

Chloé leveled her glare at the class. “I don’t know which one of you did this, but I swear. When I find out? You’re dead. D-E-A-D Dead.” Her cold glare crept across everyone before she sat down in a huff.

Chloé flipped her hair and sat down. Sabrina, still reading her phone, stumbled to her seat a moment later.

Marinette let out a small groan and looked to the front of the room. Surely, Ms. Bustier would start teaching and redirect the class towards something other than her fanfiction, right?

Right?

To Marinette’s horror, Caline was now scrolling on her own phone. “I…” She turned bright red. “Multimouse rushed to stop Zombisu, but it was too late. She was straddling the Owl, her mouth pressed mouthily on his giant, owlish… What the fu…dge is this?” Caline cleared her throat and put her phone away. “No media. Phones down. Put them away, now.”

“Ooo!” Rose chirped. “Jules, look! ‘Confess your secret, forbidden love, Julie, or Tulip will surely die!’ Julie, the quiet, hot goth that Jessica had kind of a thing for with long, great hair and a cool set of boots that Jessica totally wanted knelt next to the sleeping form of Tulip, who had been paralyzed and maybe poisoned by Hawkmoth. ‘I will save you with our secret, forbidden love!’ Julie declared before kissing the beautiful, stunning blonde who had big blue eyes and a killer pink dress on the lips. Tulip awoke and returned the kiss, which sealed them together in an embrace of love!”

Rose put her phone to her heart and slumped in her chair, her eyes closed.

“Rose?” Ms. Bustier called. “Are you okay?”

Rose, her eyes still closed, said, “I’m waiting for Julie to save me with our secret, forbidden love,” she giggled.

Juleka turned scarlet and shrank in her seat.

“Put the phones away, dammit. Please.” Caline growled. “Okay, back to class. Turn to page 342 in your history books…”

***

That night, Marinette sat curled up on her balcony. Her story had been deleted the moment she got home, and she spent most of the afternoon rotating between crying and eating leftover pastries.

“How could you do that to me, Tikki?” She asked. “I trusted you!”

“It wasn’t me!” Tikki said for what felt like the fiftieth time. “I told you, Plagg was the one who uploaded your story.”

“I’m ruined,” Marinette said, her face in her hands. “I’ll have to burn the bakery down and start over.”

“Only if someone connects the dots and figures out it was you who wrote it,” Tikki pointed out. “And so far, no one has, not even Chloé.”

“Huh,” Marinette said as she thought about it. “I guess you’re right. I mean, yeah. Yeah! Who would even know that I…”

“Good evening, Purrincess!”

Marinette felt her stomach knot up. Slowly, she turned to see Chat Noir perched on her balcony. He was holding his phone and his face was plastered with a Cheshire smile.

“Chaaaaat Nior!” Marinette managed. “What are, um you doing here? On my roof? Dressed like that?”

“Oh,” Chat said as he stretched out on the railing and flicked his belt tail. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by, say hello, and check in on my favorite miraculous holder-slash-author.”

Marinette paled. “What do you mean?” She asked in a hoarse voice.

Chat scrolled on his phone. “Multimouse arrived at the scene just in time. Chat Noir had managed to get himself captured by the nefarious Mr. Pigeon yet again and was sneezing so hard he was starting to pass out. ‘Save me, Multimouse!’ He cried. Multimouse sprang into action, dividing into a dozen tiny copies of herself. Each one attacked a pigeon and fought it to the death, freeing the hapless pussycat from his cage. ‘Die well, pigeons!’ she cried as she punched them into oblivion.”

Chat cleared his throat. “Chat Noir approached the hero as she reformed and took her in his strong, sexy, toned and leather-clad arms. ‘You saved my life,’ he purred. ‘That makes me yours.’ Multimouse grabbed him and slammed him against the cage he had been trapped in, grabbing his bell with one hand and his sexy, leather-clad behind in the other as she kissing him roughly, like sexy sandpaper rubbing against a really hot piece of wood. While her heart was Abrean's at this moment, her body, and all of its parts, were now the property of the sexy feline in front of her. Her secret desires bubbled to the surface, like a soup that had been simmering for too long on the stove. ‘And Ladybug won’t mind?’ Jessica asked, panting. Chat Noir shook his sexy head. ‘This secret passion we feel, buried beneath the surface, must be unleashed!’ He then shredded her outfit with his claws and pushed her into a convenient pink and white striped patio chair and had his way with her atop a random bakery roof."

He looked to Marinette who stared back at him from a convenient pink and white striped patio chair. They locked eyes for at least five seconds.

“What?” Marinette asked, her voice two octaves higher than normal.

Chat shrugged. “Oh, nothing. It’s just,” he hopped down and leaned on his staff. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you Multimouse?”

Marinette’s jaw dropped. “Thhhhhaaaaaat’s unrelated? Like, maybe Ladybug had a lot of Multimouses? Multimice? Who knows what she does? She’s very secretive.”

“I’m pretty sure you were the only one,” Chat said, grinning. “My Bugaboo would have told me, otherwise.”

Marinette scrambled backwards in her convenient pink and white patio chair as Chat sauntered towards her, lazily rocking his phone back and forth in his hand. “I have to say, I was a bit thrown by the secret passion part.” Chat grinned and rested as he leaned forward on his cane. “I didn’t know your feelings were that strong, Purrincess. And while I'm flattered, my heart still belongs to Ladybug.”

“They’re not!” Marinette blurted. “I mean, you’re a friend and that’s cool. You’re cool. Cool. I just, I didn’t…” Marinette scrunched her eyes tight and nearly shouted. “Maybe Ladybug wrote it!”

Chat paused and thought about that for a moment.

“Well,” Chat said, “It would explain how the author seems to know so much about miraculous. She even mentions some kwamis here and there. That’s not a bad guess…”

Marinette relaxed a bit. ‘Did he buy it?’ She thought.

Chat then returned his focus to Marinette. “But I still think it was really you, miss award-winning fashion designer, paralegal, and ballerina.” Chat chuckled to himself. “I didn’t know you were a dancer and legal expert on top of everything else, though.”

Marinette buried her face in her hands. “I didn’t post it!” She cried. “I really, truly didn’t. I…” She deflated a bit. “I was working on a story and I saved it, and someone must have, they uploaded it without my permission.” She started crying. “It wasn’t supposed to be read by anyone! It was just make-believe! For me!”

Chat’s expression instantly softened. He got off his cane and sat beside Marinette, who was wrapped into a ball and sobbing. “If people find out,” she sniffed, “Then everyone at school will hate me.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Chat said in a comforting tone. “I get it. You write to escape.” He shrank his cane and idly twirled it in his fingers. “I really can’t judge. In fact,” he looked over at Marinette. “Maybe it’ll inspire others to write their own stories. You never know. Just next time, maybe make the names not so obvious?”

Marinette wiped her nose and frowned. “God, if they knew…” She shuddered. “I made everyone into a caricature of themselves.”

Chat shrugged. “I dunno. I mean, Alix seemed cool with it.”

Marinette sniffed and looked up, confused. “How did you know that?”

Chat’s eyes went wide. “Um, er, I mean…” He looked off into the distance. Suddenly, he put his finger to his ear and nodded. “An akuma! I’d better go take care of it. Ladybug is contacting me on our secret channel!”

Marinette blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about? Chat, how did you know about Alix?”

“Gotta go!” Chat cried as he sprinted for the balcony and jumped off. Marinette watched him go, now more confused than ever.

***

Ahem.

Hi. This is the narrator. Pleased to finally meet you.

So, normally I don’t do this as it feels unprofessional as all get out, but as it turns out, it’s late and I can’t come up with one solid ending for this story. I know, right? Bad writing at its finest. I kept doing all these “the next morning” stories, and I keep going back and starting over. I genuinely can’t decide where to take things next.

So… I had an idea.

What if I didn’t have to?

If you want to see the Marinette being confronted by Chloé ending, go to chapter two.

If you want to see the Rose accidentally outing Marinette as a dominatrix ending, go to chapter three. You read that right.

If you want to see the ending where Chat Noir’s erotic fantasies sort of come true, you’re depraved. Also, go to chapter four.

If you want to see the Caline Bustier outing Marinette ending, go to chapter five.

If you want to see the superhero mess ending, go to chapter six.

Enjoy.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Marinette came to school with her hoodie pulled tight. She made her way to her locker and quickly arranged her bag for class when she started to hear conversations behind her. In fact, after a bit she noticed that all around, there were hushed whispers and sideways glances. Marinette found herself retreating deeper into her hoodie as she made her way to the common area.

‘Maybe I’m just being paranoid,’ Marinette thought to herself.

“It’s her,” a random kid said under their breath.

“It’s Jessica Steel-Tiger!” Another student said excitedly as they looked at Marinette.

‘Maybe they mean another Jessica Steel-Tiger,’ Marinette frantically thought to herself.

“It’s her, Marinette Dupain-Cheng! She’s Jessica Steel-Tiger!” A third student she didn’t recognize cried out.

‘…Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a common name. Maybe there’s one behind me?’ Marinette thought as she panicked. She looked behind her.

There was no one there.

‘…Maybe they’re invisible?’ Marinette thought.

“DUPAIN-CHENG!” Chloé bellowed.

Marinette felt her stomach tighten up. “Well crap,” she muttered as she turned to see Chloé storming down the hall towards her. She grabbed Marinette and dragged her into the restrooms before the blue-haired girl could even cry out in protest.

Marinette braced herself. Granted, she could curl an Audi if she wanted to. Still, there’s something about being thrown into the restrooms by your lifelong bully that tends to paralyze you.

Chloé backed Marinette against the wall and slammed her fist into the towel dispenser right beside her head.

“H-h-h-h-hi Chloé,” Marinette eeked out. “Is, um, something wrong?”

“I figured it out,” she breathed. She held up her phone with her other hand and started to read. “’But Queen Bee,’ Multimouse said as the top string wrapped around her frame. ‘What about your love for Selena?’ The miraculous and evil but very hot Queen Bee scoffed and said, ‘Fool, not even her love for me could keep me from being evil! And I know you’re evil, too. I remember when you helped me sabotage Abrean’s date with the evil, but uncomfortably hot on so many different levels, sexy ninja sorceress Akami!’”

Chloé looked Marinette dead in the eye. “Maybe next time don’t get so detailed?”

Marinette was as white as a sheet. “Wha… What are you gonna do to me?”

Chloé leaned in. “Right now,” she growled. “Right this second, our entire school is out there looking for you. Some of them are going to want to have words with you, but you’re mine first.”

Marinette braced herself. She couldn’t fight back, she just couldn’t! If she hurt Chloé, yes, even Chloé, she could never forgive herself, and…

Chloé grabbed Marinette by the collar, pulled her close, and planted a rough kiss against her lips. She slammed the surprised hero against the bathroom wall as her whole body leaned into it. Marinette, now completely lost, found herself rolling with it for a moment before panic set in.

Right at that moment, Chloé pulled away and whispered against her lips, “No one gets to bully you but me.”

And with that, Chloé let her go, dusted off her hands, and headed for the door. “Nice story, by the way.” She propped the door and called out, “Hey everyone, Jessica Steel-Tiger is in here!”

Marinette slid down the wall and landed in a crumple of teenage hormones on the floor. She touched her lips and glanced to the door as Chloé left without looking back.

“What?” Was all she was able to get out before the class descended upon her in a deluge.

Chapter Text

Marinette came to school still confused about her visit from Chat Noir. On one hand, it seemed like the hero was ready to mock her for what she had written, especially about him. Marinette blushed as that section of the story played back in her mind. That part in particular had been written after several nights of pent-up aggression, and she was all the more embarrassed that he knew.

‘Thankfully,’ she thought to herself, ‘he doesn’t go to our school.’

Marinette rounded the corner to find Nathaniel and Marc whispering and laughing at something on their phone.

“This is so bad,” Nathaniel said.

“Dude,” Marc agreed. “But it’s still fun.”

She turned to see both of them sitting side-by-side on a bench. “Um, are you two reading that Steel-Tiger story?” Marinette asked.

Marc looked up and shook his head. “No. That one was fun, like really fun, but this one posted late last night and holy crap.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow at that. She must have missed the notification while she was sleeping. Curious, she checked the Ladyblog on her phone. On the main page was a new story: The Extremely Passionate and Secret Love Affair of Ladybug and the Overly Hot Chat Noir, by Abs McThunderKitten.

Marinette clicked and scrolled through, and promptly turned red. “Oh,” she said to herself. “Oh wow.”

Behind her, Rose came in with Juleka. She was reading aloud as Juleka put away her things. “He took her in his rippling arms, his abs pressed against her soft stomach as he purred into her ear. ‘I want you!’ he cried out. ‘Right here?’ Ladybug shivered with shivery delight, her fingers tracing all twelve of his abs. He had that many because he was extra awesome. ‘Yes,’ he moaned. ‘On the rooftop. No room can contain my passionate cat-like fire!’ He forcefully peeled her red and black costume down around her arms and…Oh, morning, Marinette!”

Marinette, who had been somewhat focused on the story, waved back. “Um, is that the new story on the Ladyblog?”

Rose nodded. “It’s no Jessica Steel-Tiger, but it’s still super-hot. I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

Juleka sniggered and bumped into Rose. “She’s been reading the romance scenes out loud all morning.”

“Like you haven’t been listening!” Rose chided. “It’s bad, but fun.”

“You just have a thing for Ladybug,” Juleka said.

Rose shook her head. “More like for spandex. Speaking of…”

“Later,” Juleka mumbled. She looked to Marinette. “Hey, uh, are you okay? Your face is red.”

Marinette shook her head. “Oh! Um, I’m fine.” She scrolled through the story, skimming the details. “I’m… Wait.”

She scrolled some more. She read a description of a late-night chase that ended on…

“Under the Arc de Triomphe, down through Chaillot, over to Musée, across the Seine, over Quai Branly, and finally to the Champ de Mars to settle on the Eiffel Tower. A beam on the east side letting them…”

Marinette felt a light bulb go off over her head, as this was the same route that she and Chat normally took for their late-night tag sessions.

“Holy shit,” she mumbled. “It’s him.”

“Marinette?” Rose asked as she shook her gently by the arm. “Are you okay?”

“Him who?” Juleka asked. “Do you know who wrote that?”

“He wrote about us,” Marinette said to herself. She blinked in horror as she realized she had just said that out loud.

Rose’s eyes went wide as her grin encompassed her face. “Oh my GOD, Mari! This is about you and some guy? That is so hot! That’s… Wait, this is about Ladybug.”

Mari glanced to Rose and thought fast.

Marinette is not good at thinking fast.

“I dress up,” she chirped. “We roleplay. A lot. For romance.”

Rose blinked in shock. Juleka gave her a thumbs up and muttered, “That’s so hot.”

Rose looked Marinette dead in the eye. “Mari, this says you two, um, wow.” She looked Marinette up and down. “It’s always the sweet ones.”

"Who is he?" Rose asked, hopping up and down.

"Um, erm, just a guy I know. He, um, comes by some nights and we, uh, go out! On the city. And, um, hit up some spots."

Juleka's eyes widened. "Dude."

"Ohhh my goodness!" Rose squeaked. "Our sweet, demure, innocent Marinette is a leather-clad sex goddess!"

“Please don’t tell anyone?” Marinette begged.

Rose shot her a look. “Like we’d ever! Please, Mari. You’re our friend. We’ve got your back."

Chloé, who had been right around the corner however, did not.

***

By lunchtime, Marinette realized that the looks she was getting from everyone weren’t stopping. She scrunched down in her seat and mumbled to Alya, “why does everyone keep glancing over at me?”

Nino piped up. “Probably because Chloé told everyone about your…”

Alya elbowed him hard in the ribs, shutting him up. “Hey, did you catch that special last night about the akuma attacks downtown? Pretty intense stuff, right?”

Marinette looked back to the sore Nino. “What were you saying, Nino?”

Alya shot him a death glare, which forced the young man to shrivel a bit. “Um, nothing.”

Marinette looked back and forth between them. “Come on, guys. Tell me. You’re my friends. I shouldn’t have to wring information out of you.”

Alya sighed set her drink down. “Okay, um, you know that story that dropped last night? The erotic one about Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

Marinette nodded, slightly green. “I’m familiar with it.”

Alya bit her lip. “Well, Chloé overheard you telling Rose that it was about you and some secret dude and that you’re totally into kinky, public displays of BDSM cosplay.”

Marinette froze, her chip halfway to her mouth. “Oh,” was all she could get out.

Alya looked around to see if anyone was listening. She leaned in and whispered, “It’s cool. Everyone already suspected.”

“...What?” Marinette said, confused.

“I’m just pissed you didn’t share the deets with me!” Alya pouted. “We’re friends, girl! You don’t have to tell me all the leather-bound details, but you could have at least told me his name.”

Marinette blushed and looked to the side. "Um, I, uh, don't know his real name." She went wide-eyed again, furious at her mouth for betraying her. "What I mean is, um, we wear maskes when we meet up?"

Nino blinked. "You're so fucking cool," he said. Alya elbowed him again.

Alya leveled a glare at Marinette. "That's, well, that's your business, but it's still not safe. He could be anybody! Hell, he could be right beside you, for all you know!"

Just then, Adrien sat down beside her. “Hi everyone,” he said cheerfully as he took a bite of a carrot.

Alix rolled by and patted Marinette on the back. “You’re the queen, Mari. Ride that cowboy!”

“W… What now?” Marinette asked, again, not processing the conversation at all.

Chloé was two tables over and laughing. It was abruptly halted by Juleka standing up and slapping Chloé hard across the face. The whole lunch room went quiet as Juleka yelled. “You wanna pick on Marinette for being into some freaky kink shit, then, then go ahead and pick on us, too!”

Rose stood beside her. “Yeah! Um, wow. WOW. really? We’re doing this here? Now?”

“You’re a bully, and small, and hateful!” Juleka cried out with a passion that no one had ever seen from her before. “And if you ever say anything bad about her again, I’lGaah!”

She was cut off by Rose dragging her into a kiss. The lunch crowd watched, stunned, as Rose broke it off, took her by the wrist and said, “Sick day. NOW.”

Blushing, Juleka let Rose drag her out of the lunchroom.

The room was dead quiet.

Adrien leaned over and whispered, “Hey, at least they’re not talking about Jessica Steel-Tiger anymore.”

From the back wall, Alix pumped her fist in the air and said, “All Hail Bondage Queen Marinette!”

Marinette buried her now tomato-red face in her arms as the lunchroom chanted, “Hail! Hail!”

Adrien patted her on the back. "At least the class took it well."

Marinette turned to him, her sanity now gone. “Whhhhaaaaaaa?”

It took two teachers and the principal to restore order.

Chapter Text

Marinette had hoped the class would forget about her story.

Be careful what you hope for.

“An Evening of Sexy Times with Ladybug, Complete With Lots of Kissing and Other Stuff Way Hotter Than Kissing, by Abs McThunderKitten” Marinette read at the lunch table. Beside her, Adrien sat blushing furiously. “Well, at least it sounds better than that Jessica Steel-Tiger story.”

“My guess is it was something private,” Adrien growled as he twisted his silver ring. “I can’t imagine anyone wanting to put that out there, and that title!”

“Yeah, it’s pretty graphic,” Alya said. “Did you read the scene where she ties him to the Eiffel Tower with her yoyo?”

Marinette scrolled down as Adrien shoved half a burger in his mouth. “It’s not lunchtime appropriate,” he tried to say. All they heard, however, was, “iph nh lummf tmme appmpphmh.”

Adrien was a bit of a stress eater.

“Hoooo,” Marinette said to herself as she read the section. “I don’t think lucky charms work like that. This is just,” she blushed and put her phone away. “This is entirely inappropriate. They’re the heroes of Paris. This shouldn’t be how they’re portrayed.”

“I don’t know,” Alya said, a little too casually. “I had a report that someone filmed Rena Rouge and Carapace acting out some of the scenes from that Steel-Tiger story last night.”

Nino choked on his milk. “Someone filmed that? I, erm, I mean, oh wow. How shocking. Do tell.”

“Later,” Alya muttered.

***

Later that night, Chat Noir was doing the rounds on his patrol when he heard the familiar whizzing sound of Ladybug’s yoyo beside him. He landed on an apartment complex and turned to see his partner coming to rest a few meters away.

“Hey kitty,” Ladybug said with a wave.

“Hey yourself, Bugaboo,” Chat said, smiling. “What brings you out? It’s not your night to patrol.”

Ladybug shrugged and slowly twirled her yoyo. “Oh, I was just up reading.” She held up her phone. “It’s strange,” she said as Chat’s eye twitched slightly. “This story seems to have some very, well, personal details.”

“Oh?” Chat asked. He was leaning against his cane, but Ladybug could see that he was tense. “Like what?”

Ladybug smirked and said, “Well, I couldn’t help notice that the details of the, um, rendezvous were a little… Familiar.”

“Huh,” Chat said, now slightly sweaty. “Imagine that.”

She stepped closer and gave his bell a small jingle, causing him to swallow. “Meet me at the Eiffel Tower. I want to discuss a, well, scene I read.”

Chat blushed as Ladybug hopped off the rooftop and swung for the tower in the distance. Wasting no time, he grabbed his… Dammit I cannot write this sentence without it sounding wrong in the context of the story. He did the extendy thing and followed. There. See what you made me do?

Worst Goddamn story I’ve ever written, I swear.

Chat Noir arrived at the Eiffel Tower slightly out of breath. In all, he couldn’t remember ever pole vaulting quite so fast across the city as he just had, but he was telling himself over and over that it was worth it.

“Up here,” Ladybug called. She was standing on their favorite beam and had a small sack beside her. Chat hopped up and put his weapon back before smoothing back his messy hair and grinning. “I’m here, my lady. Now, what scene did you have in mind?”

Ladybug smiled and narrowed her eyes at him. Then, she grabbed her yoyo and swung it around Chat and the tower before he even knew what was going on.

“Wait, what’s going on?” He cried out.

Ladybug put her hands on her hips and smiled at a job well done. “I read the scene you wrote about me pinning you to the Eiffel Tower, Abs McThunderKitten. Seriously! That was the sickest, lewdest story I’ve ever read! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Chat panicked. “I’m… I’m sorry, okay? Yes, I admit it. I wrote it, but I didn’t submit it! Plagg did! I was already asleep. That was,” he blushed and looked away. “That was just late-night writing. It wasn’t for anyone but me.”

Ladybug frowned. ‘Dammit,’ she thought to herself. ‘I can’t kill him for something I did, too. Can I… No. No, I can’t. Plus I did write that scene with him, but… Ugh. Okay. Plan B.’

Ladybug sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I suppose I can’t be mad at you for something you didn’t do, but you did write it, so…”

“So, what are you gonna do?” Chat nervously asked.

Ladybug sat down facing away from him, opened her bag, and took out a burger and a shake. She took a bite and a sip as she looked out over the city.

“Um, Ladybug?” Chat asked.

Ladybug took another bite. She then slid her phone out of the bag and started checking some blogs she liked to follow.

“My lady?” Chat asked again. “Hello?”

“Heh, that’s a good meme,” she mumbled as she took another bite of her burger.

“Please let me down?” Chat asked.

Ladybug stretched a little before settling in. The city needed watching over, after all. If only it wasn’t so windy up there. The wind almost sounded like her partner’s voice…

She took a sip of her shake.

Yes, watching over the city was tough. It might even take all night.

“Bugaboo?” Chat whimpered.

Ladybug burped and covered her mouth. She took another bite of burger and smiled.

Yep. Alllllllllll night.

Chapter Text

Despite being secretly embarrassed, Marinette found herself coming to school early the next morning. She figured it would be better than walking in late and feeling everyone’s eyes on her. She just knew that she’d say something stupid if that happened.

While Marinette thought she’d be the first to the classroom, there, sitting at her desk was Caline Bustier. She was scrolling on her phone and sipping a steaming mug of coffee when Marinette walked in.

“Oh, Marinette!” Caline said as she stood up. She straightened her pantsuit and strutted over as Marinette was getting situated. Marinette noticed that Ms. Bustier was standing over her, quietly sipping her coffee.

“Um, yes, Ms. Bustier?” Marinette asked, confused.

Caline took a long sip of coffee.

“You know, I pride myself on the job I do with my students,” she said in a calm voice. “I read your assignments. I really do,” she added for emphasis.

Okay, she really didn’t, but she made the occasional effort.

“I love seeing the progression my kids make throughout the years. How their own unique voices come out in their writing.”

She sipped her coffee again.

Marinette stared up at her teacher, who was giving her a cool, adult, judgy glare in return. “Um, okay?”

Caline slid her phone out of her pocket and shook it in the air. “I did a little reading last night. I was, shall we say, inspired by Chloé’s little speech?”

“Oh?” Marinette asked, warning bells going off in her head.

“Mmm,” Caline agreed. “You know? Until last night, you were the only person I knew of that had ever used the sentence, ‘she flung her flingy rope thing at the bad guy.’” She eyed Marinette. “Remember creative writing last year? You did a story about being a super hero?”

Marinette paled. “Did I?” She squawked.

“You did,” Caline said. “That’s the thing about creative writing. You do enough of it, and it’s like a fingerprint. You get to know someone’s style without even having to see who wrote the story.” She narrowed her eyes at Marinette. “Isn’t that right, Jessica Steel-Tiger?”

Marinette shrank in her seat. “Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout,” she said in one breath.

Caline chuckled and walked back to her desk. She picked up some papers and brought them back to Marinette. “Normally,” Caline said in a casual voice. “I would turn someone in for writing something like… That about a teacher, let alone the principal. That's easily several weeks worth of detention, if not worse. However, I have another idea.”

“What did you have in mind?” Marinette whimpered.

Caline dropped the papers on Marinette’s desk.

“What’s all this?” Marinette asked, confused. She looked over the papers. They appeared to be covered in shorthand writing.

“Notes,” Caline said as she sipped her coffee. “If you want to write about me, fine. But you’re giving me a good love interest. Here are some ideas for you to workshop.”

Marinette skimmed over the papers. “This is a lot about you,” she said. “Dating the head of the Louvre, sleeping with a super model, adopting a troubled student as your own daughter, wielding… Wielding a miraculous?”

Caline shrugged. “Pick one that hasn’t been given out. I'm sure you've still got a few. Hell, a new one seems to pop up every week. Oh, is there a goat?” She sipped her coffee and shrugged. “I could be a goat.”

Marinette looked at how many papers she had been handed. “This isn’t a story, it’s a book, Ms. Bustier! This would take weeks to write! And how would you get a miraculous?”

“From Ladybug,” she said. “In my story, which is not at all real, it turns out she’s a student in my class.”

Marinette’s eyes shifted to Caline. “Sorry?”

Caline nodded. “Yep. Turns out she was right there in front of me, blue pigtails and all. And if she can’t find the time to finish my story after what she wrote about me, then I suppose she’s gonna get that two weeks of detention.”

Marinette blinked in stunned shock. “How..?”

"Oh, Jessica, sweetie,” Caline said as she sipped from a mug that read My Ranch, My Rules, “I’m not a fucking idiot.”

Chapter Text

Chat was already a good six blocks from Marinette’s when Ladybug caught up to him.

“Hey,” she called out. “Where’s the fire?”

Chat came to a stop atop a hospital and rested for a moment as Ladybug landed beside him. “Oh, no fire. I was just visiting a friend, is all.”

“The Dupain-Cheng girl?” Ladybug asked. “I saw you on her balcony.” She leaned in and put her hands on her hips as she smiled at him. “Were you flirting with her, kitty?”

“Me? My lady, you wound me. I only have eyes fur you.” Chat batted his eyes to stress the point, but Ladybug put her hand on his face and pushed him back.

“Down boy. My lucky charm might be a spray bottle tonight if you keep that up,” she warned.

Chat instantly backed off and sat down. “Sorry.”

“So, seriously, what’s up?” Ladybug asked as casually as she could. “I didn’t know you still visited her.”

“Well,” Chat said, scratching the back of his head. “A story has been making the rounds on the Ladyblog. A really, um, long one about a miraculous holder. I’m pretty sure it was written by her.”

“Oh?” Ladybug asked. “I, uh, haven’t seen it. What’s it about?”

Chat leaned back and got a dreamy look in his eyes. “It’s amazing! It’s about Multimouse, you remember her, right?”

Ladybug stared at Chat. “I hand out the miraculous, Chat. Yes, I remember Multimouse.”

“Well, this story has action, drama, danger, romance, um, a lot of romance, and me!” Chat seemed especially proud of that last point. “But, um, I get the feeling that Marinette isn’t happy I know she wrote it.”

“How do you know she did?” Ladybug asked, genuinely curious.

“I mean, who else could it have been?” Chat asked. “She pretty much describes herself in the story, but somehow even cooler.”

“Cooler?”

Chat nodded. “Oh yeah. In real life, she’s brave, selfless, kind, smart… She’s, um, an everyday Ladybug.”

Ladybug blushed but turned so he wouldn’t see it. “That’s laying it on a little thick, kitty.”

“It’s true!” Chat said. “I think, well, if my heart weren’t yours I, um, well…”

Ladybug looked over her shoulder at Chat for a second.

‘Okay, so I’ve wanted him to lay off flirting with me for months,’ Ladybug thought to herself. ‘But now he’s finally thinking about redirecting all that energy… To me.’ She closed her eyes. ‘Dammit.’

“Have you tried talking to her about it?” Ladybug asked.

“I just did, but I think I embarrassed her. I mean, the story has some, um, pretty intense moments between us. I figured she was ready to talk about how she felt in real life, but...” He shrugged. “I guessed wrong.”

Ladybug hugged herself and frowned. It burned her to admit it, but… Yeah, okay, it was true. She did have feelings for her partner, and sometimes even fantasies, but her heart belonged…

She blinked.

Her heart belonged to a boy that didn’t love her, while Chat…

“I’m gonna do it,” Chat said, pounding his fist into his hand. “I’m gonna go back there and talk to her. Like, real-talk.”

“Wait, what?” Ladybug asked as she turned around.

“It’s no use waiting for people to decide to love us,” he said to himself. “Sorry,” he said with an apologetic glance to Ladybug. “I know you don’t love me, and it’s not fair to keep putting that on you, but her… I think I really do have feelings for her. I… I need to tell her!”

“Chat, wait!” Ladybug cried out, but it was too late.

Chat Noir was heading at full speed back to her balcony.

“Dammit, dammit, dammit!” Ladybug muttered as she swung at top speed for her home. She saw Chat nearing the balcony. Any second, he would be there, and then he would see she wasn’t and then… That might take some explaining.

“Okay, okay, cool. I got this,” she said to herself. “I’ll just mention that she must have gone to the restroom, or gone downstairs, or gone not-there. Yeah,” she said. “And then I’ll swing down and…”

And then her eyes went wide as she saw Rena Rouge land on the balcony.

Both Chat Noir and Ladybug landed and greeted the orange heroine. “Um, Re-Rena!” Ladybug stammered. “What brings you here? Specifically?”

Rena nodded to the other two heroes and crossed her arms. “I knew it. The more I read that story, I asked myself, who do I know that would paint herself as a world class fashion designer? And who has the hots for Adrien to the point that she’d include him in an erotic thriller? And then it hit me, and I’m guessing you two as well, since you’re both here. Marinette is Jessica Steel-Tiger!”

“Wait,” Chat Noir asked, confused. “How do you know Marinette?”

Rena’s eyes went wide. “Um, I’ve met her several times in my civilian form.”

Ladybug let out a nervous chuckle. “Um, really, does it matter if she is Jessica Steel-Tiger? I mean, what if she didn’t mean to post that story and somehow it got uploaded and she’s really sorry?”

Rena eyed Ladybug. “Seriously? She refers to me as a foxy hero whose bust size is matched only by her heart.” She blushed and looked away. “I mean, it’s true, but still! You can’t just write things like that! Especially about me and…”

“Sup, dudes?”

Ladybug put her hand to her face and muttered, “Oh Goddammit,” As Carapace landed on the balcony.

“So, I’m guessing you all came to the same conclusion I did?” He asked.

Rena and Chat Noir nodded.

“Cool,” Carapace said.

“Cool?” Rena snapped. “How can you be cool about this? I mean, did you read the things she wrote about us? When have we ever given into the, as she put it, steaming hotpot of passion that dwells within our loins and ravaged each other in the middle of patrolling?”

Carapace blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just came to tell her that she should be proud of what she wrote, regardless of what people say. Also, um, we kinda did that last week, didn’t we?”

Rena turned beet red and cracked him over the head with her flute. “YOU DON’T ADMIT IT!” She cried out.

“Oh boy,” Ladybug said. “Look guys, I’m sure that Marinette can address all of this in the morning. I mean, it’s really late, we don’t want to wake her, and…”

“The Hell we don’t!” Queen Bee snapped as she landed on the balcony beside Chat Noir. “Everyone,” she tersely greeted the crowd. “Now, where is she?”

“Where is who?” Ladybug asked, innocently.

“Don’t play dumb, bug,” Queen Bee snapped. “It’s her. It has to be her! I, I, Ohhhh! How could she write all that, that stuff about me and Sabrina? I just… Oooo!”

To stress the point, she kicked a patio chair. Ladybug winced as her favorite chair went over the balcony and crashed onto the street below.

“How is Sabrina?” Ladybug asked.

“Oh, she’s fucking great, thanks for asking.” Chloé spit out. “I mean, yeah, we talked a bit tonight, and, um, some other stuff.” She turned red. “But that’s not the point. You don’t share all that with the freaking world, you let couples work it out for themselves!”

Carapace smiled. “So, you’re a couple?”

Queen Bee glared. “Got a problem with that?”

Carapace shook his head. “Heck no. Congrats!”

He held his hand out for a high five. Queen Bee looked at it and crossed her arms. A moment later, she sighed and clapped his hand.

“Look, everyone,” Ladybug begged. “We can address her tomorrow, individually. I’m sure that…”

“Wait,” Chat Noir said.

“Wait,” the rest of the group said.

“How could we address her tomorrow?” Chat Noir asked. “We’d have to know her…”

“In our civilian forms,” Queen Bee said, eyeing Ladybug. “And that means you would, too!”

Ladybug paled. “That’s um, not quite what I was angling at.”

“You know who I am?” Chat Noir asked quietly.

“What? No!” Ladybug said. “You’re the only person I don’t know!”

“I’ll say,” he crossed his arms. “At least Marinette understands me.”

His eyes went wide the second he said it. The others froze and stared at him in shock.

“Dude,” Carapace said. “Do you have a thing for Mari?”

“What?” Rena asked. “WHAT? Holy crap. This just made everything worth it. Are you two a couple?” He shrank a bit under her intense gaze. Not because it was true, but because Alya was terrifying. “You are a couple! How did I not see this? I mean, with the erotic scene between you and not-her in the story, I kinda figured she had the hots for you, but I didn’t know it went both ways! That’s so awesome!”

“I don’t, um, I haven’t…” Chat Noir stuttered.

Rena started knocking on the skylight. “Mari! Wake up, girl! Chat Noir is out here and he wants your body!”

“ALYA!” Ladybug shrieked. She instantly clapped her hands to her mouth as Chat and Bee’s eyes went wide.

“Alya?” Chloé asked, her eyes narrowing.

Marinette paled. "Shit," she muttered.

Queen Bee looked to Carapace. "“Nino?”

He slumped and waved. 

“Sup?” He said.

Queen Bee shook her head. “Why would she give the two of you… Wait.” Queen Bee turned slowly to Ladybug.

“What?” Ladybug asked, more than slightly nervous. She could practically see the wheels turning in Chloé’s head.

“It’s you,” Chloé whispered.

“Who?” Rena asked.

"Hooooo Leeeeee Shit!" Chloé pointed a shaking finger at Ladybug. “You’re… You’re…”

“What do you think you’re all doing up here?” A very angry adult voice cut through the night, causing all the heroes to jump. They turned to see the skylight open and a furious Sabine Cheng climbing out. She was in her bathrobe, her hair was messed from sleep, and she looked, well, pissed off.

“It’s nearly midnight, and when my daughter,” she glared at Ladybug for a moment, “came to me complaining of stomach problems, I tucked her in on the couch and then came up to her room for more blankets, and what do I find? A superhero party on my roof? Why, pray tell, are you here?”

Rena Rouge blushed and rubbed her arm, while Carapace chuckled. Even Queen Bee looked slightly embarrassed.

“Um, sorry about that,” Ladybug said sheepishly. “We’ll, um, we’ll be going now.” She looked to her team. “This can be discussed later?”

They all nodded. Chat Noir looked like someone had just taken his last cookie, but even he agreed to leave.

Queen Bee glared at Ladybug and hissed, “We’ll talk about this tomorrow at school.”

Ladybug blinked at her. “How would we do that?”

Queen Bee narrowed her eyes, but said nothing. Instead, she cast her top for a nearby roof and sped off.

Ladybug watched them go and then turned to face a cross Sabine Cheng. She gave the older woman a nervous smile. “Um, good evening?”

Sabine sighed and stepped aside. “Get in here. And you’re grounded for a week.”

Ladybug slumped. “Is this because I didn’t tell you?”

Sabine shook her head. She held up her phone and said, “for the bad dialogue. Seriously, his passionate waves of passion crashed against my shore of desire?” She shook her head at Ladybug. “I raised you on better grammar than that, young lady.”

Ladybug blinked in shock. “How did you know?”

“I’m your mother. I know everything, everywhere, all the time, always. And your adorable kwami told me.”

“What? You… You know about…”

“She eats half the pastries in the front case when you’re asleep. Yes, I’ve met the little freeloader. Inside, now.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Ladybug said, her head hung low.