Chapter Text
The sweet scent of rain, wet dirt and an evening breeze gently wafted into the open window, ruffling cotton curtains, and cooling you off laying inside, thin nightgown barely covering soft thighs. The last light of the setting sun lighting up the room with a warm glow, the star framed by small tufts of cotton candy clouds. A soft jazzy tune flowed through the speaker of the busted radio sitting on your nightstand and you laid on your stomach, flipping through a magazine- Automail Today, on loan from Winry- fiddling with the silver charm attached to the long cord around your neck. You cocked your head to the side, sighing.
A ‘ding!’ sounded from downstairs, the doorbell, startling you. You rolled off the bed, padding towards the door, creaking it open and tip toeing down the hall, decending the wooden steps. You flicked on your living room light, releasing the deadbolt on the heavy door and pulling it open, a tall- well, taller than you- figure stood in the frame.
“Uh.. Hey”
You recoiled, knees nearly buckling. The blond slowly placed a hand on the back of his head, offering a hesitant and awkward smile. You regained your balance and stared, your face blank.
Finally, after what felt like months just staring into his face, you stomped towards the male, stopping a foot away from him. You could smell his colonge- rosewood- you shoved that thought aside, anger bubbling in your stomach like a magma pit.
“Edward Elric- you goddamn idiot!” You nearly screeched, “You leave me for months, alone, no call, no nothing?! I had to find out from Pinako, Edward! She’s been worried sick!”
While Ed loved hearing you speak his name, he couldn’t help but cringe at your tone, and felt a rising guilt creeping through his body. You were shaking with anger, your brows were scrunched together and you could feel your nails digging into your palms.
“I just can’t believe- you- you-“ You sputtered, tensing your shoulders, slaming your eyes shut and rubbing circles around your temples. “Fuck!”
Ed’s face pulled into a deep frown. He felt the hot guilt finally fill his body and he sucked in a breath, muttering your name. “Look- I’m sorry. I really am. I should have explained to you why I had to go.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, a glare settling over your features. You didn’t speak, Ed took that as permission to continue.
“It’s a really long story.. I promise I can explain everything.” He almost whispered. “Can I come in? Please?”
You felt the hot tears of anger start to brim your eyes, and your veins burned. You forced out a deep sigh and stepped to the side. Ed stepped into the threshold, stepping gingerly to the sofa against the far wall. You slammed the door and followed Ed, taking a seat and resting your arms crossed across your chest.
You felt the warm tears start to spill over, and you looked away from Ed as he took a seat beside you.
He breathed your name, you could hear the guilt, and part of you felt bad for being happy he felt guilty. He said your name again.
“I’m sorry, I really am-“
“You’re sorry? For what Edward, tell me. Do you feel guilty? At all?” You spat, refusing to face him. You settled for shooting him an angry glance out of the corner of your eye.
You could sense his temper beginning to show, but you didn’t face him.
“I- I had to go, okay? I had no other choice- Damnit, will you just look at me?!” He snapped.
You felt white hot anger start to pump through your body, and you reeled on him.
“You listen to me, Elric. I was alone. We were alone. For months, because you left. You had a choice, you had options but you chose to go- go and do what? Join the State Alchemists? And what about Alphonse, huh?! Where even is he?” You felt tears nearly burn as they drifted down your cheeks, you didn’t realize you were crying until you felt hot tears drip down your front, blooming into damp spots on your nightgown. Ed’s face twisted into something between fury and guilt, you thought he looked like a child again.
“You left Pinako, Winry, and me. You left us. You’re lucky neither of them are here- Lord..” You rested your elbows on your knees and covered your eyes with your palms.
Ed pressed his lips into a thin line, fists balled in his lap. “I left because there was nothing left for me here. Al.. He’s not a part of the State Alchemists, we saw Winry and Pinako in town, shopping, or whatever, and he wanted to walk them back.” He muttered, his voice was just above a whisper.
You took your head out of your hands and straighted your back, face sticky from tears and you noted how cold it had suddenly become, shivering. You turned to face the blond, mouth twisting into a sad smile. Ed’s face relaxed, lips still pulled into a frown. You thought you saw his eyes gloss, but ignored it.
“You should get some sleep.” You rose from your seat, smoothing your nightgown. “I’m sure you know where your room is.”
“Wait-“
“Please, Edward, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m happy you’re back, I am, but I can’t fight right now.” You whispered.
Ed rose from his seat and watched you glide out of the room. He covered his face with his hands, the cold metal of his prosthesis cooled his damp forehead and he groaned, frustrated.
Meanwhile, upstairs in your room, you sniffled and lay on your back on the cold wood floors. After screaming at Ed you felt your anger slowly evaporate, and in its place an empty pit. You were still young, Ed only older by a few months, and you knew that you shouldn’t have been as angry as you were; but the State Alchemists? Really? You knew how people felt about the military, you sharing the same opinions as your peers. You couldn’t fathom what had gone through their heads. Ed especially, of all people.
You heard a distant thud, and a muffled yell, knowing Pinako and Winry had returned home just as the sun completely sank below the horizon. You heard Ed’s laugh and your heart ached.
No. No no no. You thought, resting your hand over your heart. I am not doing this again.
You sat up, tossing on a thin knit sweater, and slipped out of your room and down the stairs once again, plastering on a delighted smile.
Pinako called your name as you came into view, Alphonse’s armor towered above everyone, he stood in the corner. He gave a small wave.
“Don’t be rude, come welcome the boys. Ed had gone ahead of us, did you hear him come in?” The old woman asked. You shook your head.
“No, I was asleep, I just got up when I heard everyone come in.” You smiled at everyone, even Ed, and turned. “I’ll put on a pot of tea.”
You turned to leave before anyone could call you back, once you turned the corner out of view, you covered your face in your hands and let out a shaky sigh. Tears welled up once again, and you uncovered your face, allowing them to spill over, quietly crying to yourself.