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Harry Potter

Harry nodded. "Alright." Ignoring Draco's protests, he grabbed both of their shoulders and, after a moment of hot air rushing around them, the trio landed in the lobby of a nondescript hospital. Fortunately, no one saw them land, or saw Draco fall to the ground and start retching. "Yeah, that happens sometimes. You lot stay here while I go introduce us to the vessels. Draco, protect Luna." As Harry turned to leave, a hand gripped his forearm tightly.

"Harry, you don't even know the vessel's names," Luna chided him. "How do you think you'll be able to find them if you know nothing about them?"

He blinked in confusion, the bright artificial light bouncing off his pale skin to imitate glowing. He really hadn't thought that far ahead… Luna must have seen the look on his face as she smiled in an amused manner.

"Honestly, Potter," Draco scoffed as he got up from the tiled floor, still looking rather green. "Will you ever not go rushing off into a situation like the brash Griffindor you are? I didn't think I signed my service over to a fool."

Harry burrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He didn't… Okay, maybe he did. Luna gave him an exasperated smile as she shook her head. "The room number is 129 in the West Wing. The one in the overcoat is their angel and the one in the wheelchair is their foster father, Bobby Singer. The really tall one is your vessel, Sam Winchester, and the other is Michael's vessel, Dean." Harry nodded apprehensively before turning to go. "Oh, and Harry?"

He looked back at her as she spoke. "Do try not to get shot. The vessels are hunters, which means that the Nargles tend to make them especially violent."

"Alright…" Harry left them in the lobby, feeling that Draco was more than enough to keep Luna safe for a few minutes. He kept his Grace close to his body in order to be invisible to the humans around him. A smirk wormed its way onto the Morning Star's face from the joy of using his long forgotten power. It was soon wiped away as he remembered the cost of its return. Friends and family, dead. Not just from this lifetime ether, but all of them. All the warriors who followed him into battle, now fallen just like the brothers who fought with him in Heaven. Harry shook his head. Now was not the time for philosophy.

As the archangel approached the designated room, he heard a loud, rough voice bellow "Enough foreplay! Get over here and lay your damn hands on!" Harry stopped in his tracks. Well, isn't he forward. The man continued. "Get healing. Now!"

As he breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that he wasn't about to walk into some awkward sex scene, he almost missed a deep voice reply, "I can't."

"Say again?" The older voice drawled, promising pain to the other person.

"I'm cut off from Heaven…much of Heaven's power…certain things I can do, certain things I can't." Harry's eyes widened at the now identified angel's words. This was the brother who protected the vessels and now…he's falling? But only his Father could make angels fall…or…Michael…

Despite his shock, the (rather loud) conversation continued without Harry. "You're telling me that you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap for the rest of my life!?"

"I'm sorry." His brother's voice shook with emotion, but the old and crippled man didn't care.

"Shove it up your ass!"

"Well, at least he's talking now." A new human joined in the conversation. This one sounded younger than the first, who Harry assumed was Bobby Singer, and his brother's vessel.

"I heard that!" The old hunter barked out.

"I don't have much time." The voice Harry associated with his brother spoke again. "We need to talk."

"Okay…?"

"Your plan to kill Lucifer…" Harry stiffened. They were planning to kill him!? He freaked for a second before he remembered that he was an archangel. Oh. Yeah. Oops.

"Yeah, you want to help?"

"No, it's foolish. It can't be done."

"Oh, well thanks for the support." The other replied sarcastically. Harry was starting to like him; reminds him of himself. Maybe this was his vessel? Not that Harry would ask to be let in.

"But I believe I have the solution." Harry decided now was the time for his dramatic entrance and set a silencing charm around the room. "There is someone besides Michael strong enough to stop the apocalypse."

"I didn't think you thought so highly of me, little brother!" Harry declared loudly as he stepped into the hospital room. Inside were all the regular hospital things one would expect in the usual blaring white room, along with a redneck in a wheelchair, a male model with a brooding face, a rather tall fellow with similarities to a moose, and a falling angel making no effort to hide his fading Grace.

Harry released his control on his Grace and let it brush up against his little brother. A smirk twitched onto Harry's face at the angel's open shock and fear when he took in the archangel's true form and his huge, ink black wings, so different from white Seraphim feathers.

The male model—Dean? Sam? Whatever—pointed a gun at him, obviously not realizing the severity of the situation. Come on, who points a normal gun at an archangel? "Who the hell are you!?" He asked harshly, a look of pure brotherly determination that was pure Michael marring his face.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm Lucifer." He smarted back. "Who did you think I was, Michael in a tutu?" This seemed to shock the group into silence and the Morning Star was worried for a moment that he'd broken them. Then…

BANG!

Elsewhere...

Deep in the ancient castle of Hogwarts, a crying, redheaded girl was being watched by a cloud of stinking black smoke. She paid the disgusting formation no attention, being too caught up in the misery her missing lover had left behind. Too busy lamenting her loss, she didn't notice the smoke's approach until it was too late. It quickly shoved itself down her throat and Ginerva Weasely was no more.

"Ginny…?" Dean Thomas entered the room and, unknowing of the danger, placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright…!"

The demon flung out her hand and Dean crashed back against the door. "Sor~ry!" she sang out. "Ginny's not home anymore!"

Dean stared at the monster in his ex-girlfriend's body. "W-who are you!?"

A sickly sweet smile mutated itself onto her face as Ginny's hazel eyes turned white. "My name's Beelzebub, big boy, and I'm gonna have a lot of fun with you."

…I really don't like Ginny.

Up next: The boys learn not to listen to rumors and DON'T STEP ON THAT FISH, CASTIEL!

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Lucifer

"Beautiful…" Lucifer whispered as he stared up at the colorful roof his Father called 'sky'. It seemed to be covered in all the shades of blue one could imagine. And then, when the 'sun' moves to the edge of the horizon, a symphony of reds, pinks and yellows echoed off the 'clouds'. Perfection!

Lucifer's gaze lowered and he spotted one of the many brothers he had lead on an expedition to Earth. Following his little brother's stare, he frowned as he saw one of the creatures of the sea—a little grey fish—crawl up onto land. Those weren't supposed to do that, were they? Lucifer nudged Gabriel, who had been staring at the sunset, and gestured to the angel and the fish. Gabriel nodded knowingly and approached the small angel whose name Lucifer couldn't remember.

"Don't step on that fish, Castiel," He heard Gabriel say. "Big plans for that fish. Very big."

Sam Winchester

The kid—God, he couldn't be older than 16—fell to the ground as the bullet ripped through skin and bone, settling in the fleshy matter of his brain. Cas stared horrified as his brother landed with a thud before looking at Dean, who was holding the smoking gun. "Did ya kill him?" Bobby asked. Sam's eyes stayed locked on the corpse, every muscle tensed. No way was it that easy…

"Oww!" Sam jerked back, drawing Ruby's knife in a weak attempt to defend himself and the others from the annoyed archangel. "That hurt, you bloody git!" The small Light bringer jumped back onto his feet, no evidence of a bullet hole marring his pale skin. His emerald green eyes glowed unhappily as he roughly pushed a few strands of dark black hair out of his face, which revealed an odd, lighting bolt-shaped scar. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you!? You just don't run around shooting people! How'd you feel if I came up to you and shot you in the face!? Huh!?"

Dean visibly steeled himself against the raging Brit and pointed his gun back at the Devil, trying to look threatening. "What do you want!?" Dean snarled, unable to hide the tremble in his voice.

The archangel sauntered into the center of the room, rolling his eyes as he did so. "I want to stop the ruddy apocalypse. Isn't that what this little team meeting is for?" Sam's mouth dropped. Lucifer…the Devil…wants to stop the apocalypse!?

It seemed that Castiel was having similar thoughts. "That is extremely unlikely. Your hatred for humanity is legendary; why do you all of a sudden want to help them?" Cas seemed to shrink back when Lucifer's gaze landed on him, but he continued to stand tall.

"You mean, besides the fact that I don't want to kill my brother over an argument that happened before human memory?" Lucifer asked. "Well, I suppose it could be the fact that I've been several humans in the past few millennia and I've grown rather fond of them."

"What?" Sam exclaimed as his eyebrows burrowed.

Lucifer rolled his eyes again. "Long story short: I asked Dad for forgiveness a few hundred years after being grounded and He threw my arse into the human reincarnation cycle. I've been trying to make up for my sin by being and assisting various important people of human history. Currently, I'm Harry Potter." Cas' eyes widened when the name was mentioned, but said nothing, to Sam's confusion. Was 'Harry Potter' important?

Sam focused back on the Devil. "How do we know this isn't a trick, 'Harry'?" He accused, thinking of how he let Ruby use him. He was never going to let someone use him like that again!

"It doesn't really matter what you call me, Sam. I can still terminate you all in haft a second."

"Hey, Satan!" Bobby called out. "If you're so big on all this world peace bullshit, then what the hell is this!?" He gestured to the TV, which was playing a news channel. Clips of floods and tornadoes ravaging the country raced across the screen.

'Harry' walked over to the television and stared confused into it. "It's…Demons, I think. They seem to be trying to find me…but how do they know…" Suddenly, his head snapped around and he stared at Castiel. "Is the final seal still in place?" Cas' jaw tightened as he looked everywhere but his brother. "Well?"

"…No."

"No?" The deadly calm in his voice was the only clue to how pissed off the Fallen Angel really was. "You killed Lilith? Well, no wonder there are there are demons everywhere! Killing the final seal basically sends up a giant flare to all supernatural creatures, saying 'Hey, here's the apocalypse! Happening now! All you can eat human buffet!' I bet it was one of you two who did it too!" He gestured to Dean and Sam. "Bloody Americans."

While Lucifer had been ranting, Dean had kept his gun trained on the archangel, who just now noticed it. "Oh, put the weapons away. I thought we'd established that if I wanted to kill you, I'd have done it by now, most likely destroying the entire state at the same time."

"Yeah, but I don't trust you." Dean said, finger stroking the trigger. "Plus, it could give us a few minutes to escape."

'Harry' snorted. "Oh, bugger it. As an act of good faith, and only so you lot may stop pointing weapons at me," He stared pointedly at Sam's knife. "I'll heal your friend. Alright?" The archangel took a few steps towards Bobby and casually tapped him on the shoulder.

Then Bobby's foot left the footrest and hit the floor.

Up next: slight torture and A WARNING. TO THE PEOPLE. THE GOOD AND THE EVIL.

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            “Lucifer the Morning Star, you have been charged with blasphemy, disobedience to God, rebellion in Heaven, the twisting of human souls, and the murder of 66 angels.” Michael’s eyes bored into his, disgust clear on his face. Lucifer sneered back, his midnight hair slicked with an angel’s equivalent of blood. Those crimes were necessary. Necessary! Their Father was a tyrant, lording over them as He created faithless monsters to destroy His greatest creation! How dare Michael try to see him, the angel’s only hope for freedom, as the bad guy? “How do you plead?”
            “Guilty.” Lucifer hissed as whispers broke out among the angels. He could hear Beelzebub’s screams as Raphael held him back from trying to get to him. He could see Michael’s fury and hate. The feelings were mutual. “You won’t kill me,” Lucifer glared. “You’re far too dependent on Daddy’s love to disobey him.”
            Michael’s ice-like eyes narrowed. “No…I won’t kill you. You don’t deserve death.” He plunged a hand into the center of Lucifer’s chest and a gut-wrenching scream rang from the Falling Angel’s lips.

            “You know, leaving your brother was really dumb.”
            Sam jerked up from his bed and stared at the archangel sitting at the motel table. Harry looked exactly the same as when Sam last saw him, even wearing the same blue shirt and jeans. “I’m not really one to talk,” the Morning Star continued. “But your separation only makes it easier for Heaven to confront Dean and force him to say yes. I thought we had agreed that was bad.”
            “Lucifer?” Sam asked while furrowing his brow. The runes…?
            “In the flesh,” Harry said. “Well, in your head, technically. I can’t find your location, so I had to resort to dream walking. Wasn’t really sure I could do it too…” He trailed off, but something caught his attention. Harry held up Sam’s phone. “What’s this?”
            “It’s a cell phone.” Sam got out of bed and grabbed the idem away from the archangel. “You use it to call people from far away. What are you doing here?”
            Harry rolled his eyes and slouched in his chair. The childish action brought attention to his slight features and frame. The kid couldn’t be taller than 5’6 and, if Sam didn’t know that he was really Satan, he’d look exactly like a teenager grumbling about exams.
            “Well,” Harry said. “Castiel thought it would be a brilliant idea to capture Raphael, the angel who killed him, and interrogate him. Since I’ve recently developed a sense of self preservation, I wished him luck and decided to visit you and some others.”
            Sam’s eyes widened. “You left your brother to face the angel who killed him alone?”
            “No,” he said with a scoff. “He’s with your brother, making him much safer than he’d be with me. Heaven wouldn’t dare hurt your brother, much like how hell won’t hurt you.”
            Sam’s eyebrows furrowed. He could help but remember War’s words and repressed a shudder. “Why…wouldn’t they hurt me?”
            Harry looked shocked. “No one told you!?” He exclaimed. “You’re my vessel.”
            Sam stiffened. Suddenly so many things made sense. “Get out,” he said quietly.
            “What?”
            “Get out of my head. I-I need time to think.” Was this the reason for everything? Ruby, the demon blood, even his mom’s death was because he was the meat suit of the Devil? “Please, just go.”
            Harry’s face became expressionless. “Fine,” he said and with a flutter of wings, the angel was gone.

            Harry landed in the Malfoy family library, startling Draco. “Bloody Hell!” he exclaimed. “A little warning next time, Potter!”
            “Sorry,” he said. Draco took in the angel’s closed off expression. “So, what’s new in the wizarding world?” harry had decided that Luna was safest in England with Draco, since wizards at least had a slight chance of fighting off demons.
            “Nothing much,” Draco drawled. “Just the general public clamoring for your head again.” The blond tossed a newspaper at Harry and the other caught it.
            On the front was a picture of the ‘Undesirable No.1’ aka Harry Potter. “How’d this happen?” Harry asked.
            “Your friends, Weasel and Mudblood, happened.” Draco picked up a cup of tea that had appeared beside him. “They went to what’s left of the auror department and started claiming that you’d ‘gone dark’. Apparently, that woman, Skeeter, overheard and the next day, everyone started a man hunt for ‘Dark Lord Potter.’”
            “What proof do they have!?”
            Draco sipped his tea. “They’re blaming you for the murder of Dean Thomas and the disappearance of the Weaselette,” he said. “It could be left over Death Eaters, but they would have put up the Dark Mark. And…”
            “What?”
            “Your friends…they’ve all been acting really weird… You’d think they’d try to defend you, but instead they are damning you.”
            “It’s not your fault, Harry.” He spun around to gaze upon Luna’s dreamy smile. “There’s nothing you could have done. And don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise; their minds are filled with wakspurts.”
            Harry smiled painfully. “I-Is Ginny…is she still alive?”
            Luna gave him a pitying look and patted his cheek. “Yes.”
            Harry sighed in relief. “Thank Father, she’s alright.”

            “Let’s go, Cas,” Dean said as he gestured away from Raphael, who was still trapped in Holy Fire. “He doesn’t know anything. Besides, your older brother is probably waiting for you.”
            “What?” Raphael’s tone was accusing.
            Castiel turned back to Raphael. “You didn’t know? Our Father—the one you claim to be dead—forgave Lucifer eons ago and recently gave him back his Grace. And Lucifer wants the apocalypse to happen as much as Dean and I do.”
            “Which isn’t at all,” Dean finished.
            The storm raged and blew in a window, filling the room with rain and noise. “Castiel. Don’t leave me here. I will come after you.”
            “That may be true,” Cas lifted his chin defiantly. “But tonight, you’re my little bitch.”

            “Sam.” He was in the same room as the last time. Belatedly, he realized that Harry was sitting in a chair, playing with his hands. “I apologize. I sprung some shocking information on you at a stressful time and was upset that you seemed to blame me for the trouble in your life. My reaction was uncalled for and I’m sorry.”
            Sam rubbed his face. “It’s fine…wait, how’d you know I blamed you?”
            The Devil gave a grim smile. “Thoughts are rather loud in dreams, I’m afraid. Anyway, what you didn’t let me say is that I will never ask you to be my vessel.”
            Sam’s eyes widened. “You won’t?”
            Harry snorted. “Yeah. This body was custom made by my Father. It was designed not to destroy itself when I regained my Grace. Even though I’m not as powerful as I could be, I won’t try to get your to be my vessel.”
            “Why not? If it makes you more powerful…” Why wouldn’t he? He’s the Devil.
            Harry looked taken aback. “Because it’s wrong!”
            That…was not the answer Sam would have expecting. “Okay.” Could it be? Could the Devil be telling the truth? “Why else are you still here? I thought you just wanted to apologize?”
            He was…blushing? Reaching into his pocket, Harry took out a cell phone. “I was hoping you could teach me how to work this thing…?”
            Sam laughed. “Sure.” He gestured Harry to come over and took the phone from the archangel. “Alright, here’s how you call someone…”

Next time: Dean goes forward in time thanks to the Ghost of Christmas Screw You and I’m fairly certain Lucifer and Beelzebub were more than friends.

Chapter Text

Dean Winchester

“Why are you taking me?” Dean asked his future self as soon as Cas and the others had left the room.

The Dean from 2014 shrugged. “Relax. You’ll be fine. Zach’s looking after you, right?” he said, totally missing the point.

“No, that's not what I mean.” The past Dean said. “I want to know what's going on.”

The doppelgänger rubbed his face and started at the wooden walls of the cabin. “Yeah, okay. You're coming because I want you to see something. I want you to see our brother.”

“Sam? But you said he died.”

His future sighed, suddenly looking defeated. “Sam didn't die in Detroit. He got possessed by a demon called Beelzebub.”

All 2009 Dean felt was confusion. “Who’s Beelzebub?”

“King of Hell, according to him, and one really nasty son of a bitch. After the bitch managed to kill Harry, he went after Sammy.”

Dread welled up in him. “Wait. You mean—”

Future Dean nodded. “He managed to kill an archangel and our brother. Now he’s wearing Sam to the prom.”

“And you actually think you can take him?” The past yelled “He killed Harry! A near unkillable angel!”

“We don't have a choice. We’ve got to kill him, Dean. And you need to see it—the whole damn thing, how bad it gets—so you can do it different.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, even though he knew exactly what the other meant. They were the same person, after all.

“Zach said he was gonna bring you back, right? To oh-nine?” The future sounded hopeful, for the first time since Dean had met him.

“Yeah.”

“Well, when you get back home—you say 'yes'. You hear me? Say 'yes' to Michael.”

Dean could hardly believe it. No, that wasn’t right. He could believe it, he just didn’t want too. “That's crazy. If I let him in, then Michael will go after Harry, not this ‘Beelzebub’. He’ll torch half the planet.”

“Look around you, man!” The future Dean yelled. “Half the planet's better than no planet, which is what we have now. If I could do it over again, I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat.”

“So why don't you?” Dean snarled.

“I've tried! I've shouted 'yes' till I was blue in the face! The angels aren't listening! They just—left—gave up! It's too late for me, but for you—”

“Oh, no. There's got to be another way. Maybe Harry—”

“Yeah, that's what I thought.” The other sighed. “I was cocky. Never actually thought I'd lose, not with Cas and Harry on my side. But I was wrong. Dean. I was wrong. I'm begging you. Say yes.” He paused. “Butyou won't. 'Cause I didn't. Because that's just not us, is it?”

Time Skip*******************************************************************

Dean looked up from packing the car to a nervous Chuck. “So, you're really from oh-nine?”

“Yeah, afraid so.”

Chuck nodded, expecting the answer. He must have talked to his doppelgänger, or Cas. “Some free advice? You ever get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's madeof gold. Cause it is.”

Dean felt like laughing. Toilet paper? “Thank you, Chuck.”

“Oh, you'll thank me, all right. Mark my words.”

“I'll see you around.” Dean said.

“Yeah. Okay.” Chuck obviously didn’t believe him as he climbed into the shotgun seat as Cas got behind the wheel. The engine sputtered a few times before it started and they drove off.

DEAN gets in one of the vehicles. They drive off.

Time Skip*******************************************************************

Dean glanced often at the broken man who had replaced his best friend. This…this was Cas’ future. Somehow, Dean couldn’t connect this Cas with the nerdy, awkward one he left at home. Not noticing his attention, Cas pulled out some pills and popped a few.

“Let me see those.” He told the angel.

Cas passed the pill bottle. “You want some?”

“Amphetamines?”

Cas laughed at his shocked tone. “It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe.”

Dean made a face. “Mmm. Don't get me wrong, Cas. I, uh. I'm happy that the stick is out of your ass, but—what's going on—w-with the drugs and the orgies and the love-guru crap?” Cas laughed. “What’s so funny?”

Cas shook his head. “Dean, I'm not an angel anymore.”

“What?”

Cas’ eyes roamed Dean’s body shamelessly. “Yeah, I went mortal.”

“What do you mean? How?”

The ex-angel shrugged. “I think it had something to do with the other angels leaving. But when they bailed, my mojo just kind of— psshhew!—drained away. Then Harry and Sam got killed—he died trying to protect Sam, did you know that? And now, I'm practically human. I mean, Dean, I'm all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months.”
Dean stared ahead in thought. Cas…powerless. No wonder he was like this. “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So, you're human.” Dean said in an attempt at a joke. “Well, welcome to the club.”

Cas smiled, even though he obviously didn’t think the joke was funny. “Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that's, that's just how I roll.”

Time Skip*******************************************************************

They were in the middle in a hot zone, on their mission to kill the King of Hell. “There.” Future Dean pointed from over their temporary cover. “Second-floor window. We go in there.”

One of the woman, Risa, who Dean ‘had a connection’ with said, “You sure about this?”

Future Dean nodded. “They'll never see us coming. Trust me. Now, weapons check. We're on the move in five.”

Dean approached himself. “Hey, uh, me. Can I talk to you for a sec?” The two lookalikes went off to the side for some mock privacy. :Tell me what's going on.” Dean whispered.

“What?”

“I know you. You're lying to these people and to me.” Dean replied.

“Is that so?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. See, I know your lying expressions. I've seen them in the mirror. Now, there's something you're not telling us.” 2014 Dean tried to deny, but failed. Dean knew it was time to rely on force. “Oh, really? Well, I don't seem to be the only member of your posse with some questions, so, uh, maybe I'll just take my doubts over to them.”

Dean knew he had forced his own hand when he said, “Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.”

“What?”

His future self gestured to land around. “Take a look around you, man. This place should be white-hot with Croats. Where are they?”

Dean blinked in realization. How hadn’t he seen this before! “They cleared a path for us. Which means that this is—”

The other nodded. “A trap. Exactly.”

“Well, then we can't go through the front—”

“Oh, we're not. They are.” Dean looked at the rest of their team. Innocent people. “They're the decoys. You and me, we're going in through the back.”

Dean didn’t want to hear it. “You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too? You want to use their deaths as a diversion?” The other looked away in same and Dean shook his head. “Oh, man, something is broken in you. You're making decisions that I would never make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends.”

The 2014 Dean straightened. “You're right. You wouldn't. It's one of the main reasons we're in this mess, actually,” he snarked.

“These people count on you. They trust you!” Dean said, trying to make him see reason. “They trust me to kill the devil and to save the world and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.”

“No. Not like this, you're not. I'm not gonna let you.”

The future lookalike sneered. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah.”

Next thing the past knew was his future slugging him in the face.

Time Skip*********************************************************************

Dean woke up on the ground. In the desistance, the sound of gunfire and screams in the building echoed on the wind. Dean tried to run towards it. They were going to die senselessly!

Thunder crashes, lightning flashes, and Dean saw his future on the ground, neck held down by someone wearing a white shoe. 2014!DEAN opened his eyes and sees Dean, to his obvious horror. The someone shifted his weight and a loud crunch fills the air. The person turns and Dean sees…Sammy? No, it’s not Sammy. It’s Beelzebub.

The demon in his brother turned around and noticed Dean. “Oh. Hello, Dean.”

Dean stared silently as the monster smiled. “Aren't you a surprise.” Thunder and lightning crashed again and the demon disappeared only to reappear behind Dean. “A sexy one. You've come a long way to see this, am I right? Such a resourceful little monkey.”

The hunter tilted his head up defiantly. “Well, go ahead. Kill me.”

The creature actually had the nerve to look startled. “Kill you?” It looked at the corpse on the ground and sighed. “I kind of already have, hon. I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this—shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be. Even if Lucifer decided to go native, it was always going to be Sam.” It reached for Dean’s shoulder and Dean moved away. “You don't have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I'm going to do?”

“I don't know. Maybe deep-fry the planet?” he said sarcastically.

Beelzebub touched a rose gently, not looking at Dean. “Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God. The creation Lucifer wanted to so desperately to protect…why should I ruin my brother’s dream?”

Dean stayed quiet. This demon was once an angel?

It seemed to read his mind. “Does it surprise you? That I was once an angel…Would you like to know why I followed my brother?”

“Oh, good God, you're not gonna tell me a bedtime story, are you? My stomach's almost out of bile.”

Beelzebub smiled patiently at Dean, making his heart hurt. “I loved him.” It sighed. “I loved Lucifer more than anything, even more than God, the most serious sin an angel could commit at the time. But he only cared for our Father. And then God created...” Beelzebub smirked. “You. The little...hairless apes. Such pathetic creatures that infuriated my beloved…I couldn’t understand it, I couldn’t stand for it. And then He asked all of us to bow down before you—to love you, more than Him. And Lucifer said, ‘Father, I can't.’ He said, ‘These human beings are flawed, murderous.’ And for that, God had Michael cast him into hell. And I followed.

The demon paused for sympathy, but received none. “Now, tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially, when we were right? Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it.”

Dean glared. “You're not fooling me, you know that? With this sympathy-for-the-devil crap. I know what you are.”

It smiled, like some demented, indulgent parent. “What am I?”

“You're the same thing, only bigger.” Dean said. “The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.”

It smiled. “I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon.”

Beelzebub turned to walk away and Dean shouted, “You better kill me now!”

The demon paused. “Pardon?”

“You better kill me now. Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop. I’ll tell Harry about this, and he’ll help me.”

It sighed. “I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. And Lucifer couldn’t kill me, baby. Not now, not ever. And if he tries, I’ll just kill him again, for his own good. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here. I win. So, I win.”

“You're wrong.” Dean said determined.

Beelzebub laughed. “See you soon, Dean. Give Luci my love.”

Thunder and lightning crashed and blinded Dean. When he blinked, Beelzebub was gone. Dean turned around to see Zachariah behind him, reaching for his forehead with two fingers.

Up Next: Dean has a reasonable amount of questions for Harry, but he’s a bit busy at the moment.

Chapter Text

Harry Potter

“Well, it’s not as simple as it seems,” Harry told Sam as he painted another line of the summoning circle in his blood. He heard his friend snort over the phone. “You try and keep a determined prophet from looking for supernatural creatures! She just actively looks for them! Draco doesn’t even try to stop her!” Harry cut another line into his arm and dipped the paintbrush in the oozing liquid. Just a few more signs and it would be complete…

“She’s a grown woman, Harry,” Sam said. “You can’t exactly stop her—Hold on.” The archangel could hear whispering on the other line. “Dean wants to talk to you.”

Harry’s painting stilled. Dean wanted to talk to him? Didn’t Dean dislike him? “Well, put him on.”

“Hey, Harry,” Dean said after a moment.

“Dean,” He looked around the graveyard and used his Grace to heal his arms. “Is there something you need? Because I’m busy right now.”

“You can talk to Sam, but with me, you’re too busy? Figures,” Dean said. “Look, I need to talk to you. In person.”

The Morning Star rolled his eyes and tried to figure out the angle of the moon. It appeared close enough, but this ritual requires precision. “As I said, I’m busy.” Harry said calmly. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

A rush of static burst from the speaker that Harry assumed was a sigh. “Fine. Just hurry.”

The connection cut off and Harry was left holding a dead phone. He could feel the Dark Power as the moon came into position and the blood on the crypt door glowed silver. The archangel chanted in a mix of Latin and Sumerian. The words began to turn specific parts of the signal black until no silver remained.

As Harry finished the incantation, the air stank of sulfur and deadly growls came from inside the crypt. Suddenly, the door cracked open to reveal a behemoth 3-headed dog.

It stood on 4 paws the size of hubcaps and was as tall as a horse. The head on the left was distinctly Pit-bull, while the one on the right was a Bloodhound with a Rottweiler snarling in the middle. Harry stood still as the Bloodhound sniffed him and the deformed Hellhound backed off as it recognized its master.

Harry smiled and scratched the Pit-bull under the chin. The other two grew jealous, so he repeated the treatment on them. “Hey, Cebby,” he said. “Did you miss me, boy?” The ground shook from the strength of its wagging tail.

The Morning Star doubled over violently. Demons…many demons…in the same room as Luna!

He smirked. “Want to eat some demons, Cebby?” All three heads seemed to smile at the thought of carnage and Harry flew to Malfoy Manor.

Lucifer

“I can’t believe you!” Lucifer snarled at Michael. “You’re willing to bow to those…those cattle!?”

Michael was equally enraged. “Of course not! But Father—”

“Screw Father!” The horrified gasps alerted Lucifer to the fact that younger angels were around. “He has become an old fool for thinking we’d love animals before him!”

Lucifer wanted to take back his words the moment he said them. They were said in anger, they weren’t true! But the look on Michael’s face told him there would be no forgiveness. “Blasphemy,” the elder hissed as he took out his angel blade.

Cold. Lucifer felt cold, numb. “Are you going to kill me?” he asked, almost amazed. Then anger snapped back into place and the younger grabbed his own blade with a glare. “So be it.”

“Brothers, stop!” The two ignored the little seraph, Af, and moved to strike each other. But before either could land a blow, Af jumped between them and took both hits. Lucifer had just enough time to see the pain and betrayal in Af’s big, purple eyes before the young angel died.

Michael stepped back in shock and Lucifer felt a single tear fall down his cheek. “You did this,” he whispered and flew away as fast as his wings could carry him.

Harry Potter

Harry appeared in the midst of a battle. Multicolored beams of light flew from everywhere towards a corner where Draco and Luna were barely keeping a Protego up. Eyes glowing, Harry blasted a wave of his Grace and knocked back the demons. Snarls erupted as Cerberus emerged from the shadows and attacked the demons.

The enormous dog made short work of the devils. Harry turned to his friends. Draco had his arms wrapped around Luna, who was violently trembling. “Do you know why they were here?” The archangel asked as his hellhound dragged the last demon away.

“They were Aurors,” Draco said without falter. Harry eyes widened in shock as they led Luna to a chair that had somehow remained undamaged. “They said they were to arrest us for being Death Eaters, but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to use deadly hexes.”

The two men watched as a single tear dripped down Luna’s cheek. He’d never seen her so distressed; not even when Harry had found her trapped in the Malfoy dungeon. “They killed her father for supposedly being a Dark Arts supporter. Mother has been in France for the past week; I need to send her a message to stay there.”

Harry nodded. “We need to move. Draco, does your family have any houses that aren’t well known?”

“We have properties in France, Italy, and Bulgaria. Will any of those do?”

“The Bulgarian one,” Harry said. “Contact Victor Krum and explain the situation—”

“Australia,” Luna finally said, wiping away her tears. “We need to go to Australia. I’m expecting someone.”

Draco looked like he wanted to protest, but shook his head. “Alright. Is there an Australian Ministry?” Harry asked.

“There is.”

“Good. They’ll hopefully help. If not, pray for me.” The Morning Star grabbed them and flew.

Lucifer

Lucifer had never felt such anger before. Michael had killed Af! Little Af, who he had been training for the garrisons. Who was nothing but smiles and cheer. Who was now nothing.

The archangel dimly realized that he’d flown to the Garden in his anger. The home of his Father’s finest creations…and those flaws. It was their fault that Af was dead! If they didn’t exist, he and Michael never would have argued!

He could hear the woman approaching. As his fury stewed, Lucifer came up with an idea. A wonderful, amazing, evil idea. The Lock on his arm tingled in anticipation.

The woman God had made from clay for the man—Lilith—was closer now. “Lilith,” Lucifer whispered from his hiding spot and allowed the wind to carry his words to the woman’s ears. “Lilith, come to me.”
“Father?” The woman answered, the innocence in her voice making Lucifer want to gag. “Father, where are you?”

“Here, Lilith,” he said. As it drew nearer, the archangel reached into its chest and clutched her soul. Lilith gasped in pain, but Lucifer ignored it as he let the Darkness from the Lock leak slightly into her soul. The anger and hate consumed its innocence and purity, twisting it into a not-human. “Your job is to destroy the human race,” he told her as he released her black spirit.

His monstrosity looked up at him with all-consuming, black eyes and felt disgust well up in him. “Yes, Father.”

Up Next: Harry confronts his a-hole brothers and the Luna/Draco ship finally gets underway.

Chapter Text

Draco Malfoy

Draco didn’t like Australia.

The heat made his shirt stick to his skin. The place was filled with criminals, Draco thought as he eyed a little street urchin that ran past him. And the Ministry here was incompetent and almost as corrupt as England’s was. Not surprising, considering that this glorified Hellgate used to be a colony of Great Britain, but it’s still bloody inconvenient!

And he could never forget Luna! Luna, who somehow fell in love with this muggle cesspool. Luna, who attracted dangerous magical creatures every-bloody-where she went. Luna, who Draco has had to save literally 5 times a day since Potter dropped them off here!

Merlin and Morgana! It’s like everything decided it’s open session on them! Draco knew he was being a bit over dramatic, but when there are flying spiders trying to kill you, he has the right to complain!

They’ve been doing what Luna called “touristing” for the last couple of days. While she insists that they are only there to have “fun,” it is obvious that she’s looking for something. Something that Luna doesn’t want to tell him about because every time he asks, she replies with “a crumble-horned snorlacks, silly!”

Suddenly, Luna left her place beside him and ran into an alley, shadowed by its tall buildings. Mentally cursing, Draco ran in after her, wand at the ready.

Inside the alley, Luna was crouched next to a small boy who looked perfectly okay despite sitting alone on the dirty ground. Luna smiled. “Hello, Jesse.” The kid looked terrified, eyes wide and jerking away from her. “My name is Luna Lovegood and I’m a prophet of God. That’s my boyfriend, Draco. He’s the Herald for an angel.”

Draco gave Luna a look. They weren’t a couple. It…might be nice if they were, but…no, she’s crazy and Potter would kill him. Definitely not a couple.

The kid, Jesse, was still giving them frightened looks. “Are you going to kill me?” he asked. Draco frowned and put his wand away. What had happened to this kid to make him think they’d kill him?

Luna shook her head. “Certainly not! Not all cambions are evil. In fact, Jesus was one!” Draco didn’t really know who this Jesus-guy was (some sort of Muggle Merlin, perhaps?), but Jesse looked pretty relieved from the information.

“What’s a cambion?” Draco asked as Luna took Jesse’s hand.

“I’ll tell you later. Now, Jesse, would you like to come with us? I can’t guarantee that we’ll never be attacked, but we can protect you and keep the demons away.”

Jesse considered it. “You’re not lying…so, okay.”

Harry Potter

“Another drink, sir,” the bartender asked with a wink. Harry nodded tiredly and threw back another shot. This was his 5th bar in 2 hours, having drunk the other 4 dry, and only now was he feeling a pleasant buzz. He was tipsy enough to do something stupid, but not so drunk that he would forget the glamour that was making him look 21. He frowned into his glass. Was one of his past lives an alcoholic? This felt familiar.

Wings flapped, the sound simultaneous to the thuds of all the humans falling unconscious on the ground. Harry took another sip and swiveled around. An emotionally constipated angel who was obviously Raphael stood stiffly with a couple of nervous seraphs fluttering behind him. Harry smirked and stumbled slightly as he got off his arse. “Hey there, Ralphy,” the higher archangel said sarcastically, his drunkenness removing any kind of fear that he could have possible had. “It’s been a few millennia. How are you? Still following Michael around like a little puppy? Cause, it was cute when you were a fledgling, but it’s kinda creepy now.”

“Lucifer,” the younger brother sneered his name in contempt. “I have to say, I’m rather…surprised to see you interacting so causually with humans.”

“Oh, you mean the fact that I’m not slaughtering them indiscriminately. Yes, I imagine that would confuse you. Not that it’s hard, but whatever. I’ve adapted.” Harry spread his heads out towards the sleeping patrons of the bar. “So, what do you want, you disgusting example of divinity?”

Raphael scowled and the other angels tittered fearfully at the insult, more afraid of him than Harry. As the universally declared Satan, Harry felt the need to change that. “You haven’t done anything to start the apocalypse,” Raphael seethed. “You rallying the demons, you aren’t controlling the Horsemen, you haven’t even tried to acquire Sam Winchester as your vessel.”

“Ralphy!” Harry joyfully acted insulted and shocked. “You know better than to ask a woman to change herself for some man!”

The other archangel ground his teeth. “Anyway, the point is that you’re not preparing for your battle with Michael. Why?”

“That’s because there’s nothing to be any bloody battle!” Harry roared in fury. The building shook with the force of his Grace, shattering glass. All six wings flashed behind him, flared in a dominance display.

“Get this through your think-arse head. I don’t have to obey his orders and you can’t make me.”

Raphael sneered. “How childish.”

“Childish or not, I’m never following him again.” His angel blade appeared and he twirled it skillfully. “And I’d love to see you try and make.”

Up Next: Harry and Gabe finally get their reunion and Dean gets a bit pissy.

Chapter Text

Dean Winchester

Dean glared at the archangel trapped in the holy fire. This SOB… How could he stand there so smug? “This isn’t about playing our roles. This is about you being too scared to stand up to your family! You know, I wish Harry was here to see you.” Dean glanced at Cas. “He’d be so pissed.”

Sam coughed. “Actually…I have him on my contacts list.”

“When did you get Satan on speed dial!?” Dean asked incredulously. “No, never mind. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know. Just call him and tell him to get his confusing ass over here.” He saw Gabriel tense out of the corner of his eye and internally smirked. Good. He should be nervous. Serves him right.

“Hello, Harry? Yeah, it’s me…Look, we have something we need you to check out, and you’ll definitely be interested in it.” As Sam rattled off their location, the trapped archangel began to look more and more panicked. It was odd little moments like these that made Dean glad that the Devil was (somehow) on their side. Plus, not having Satan trying to get into his brothers pants was nice.

The door opened with a loud, rusty creak and Harry came in. He was about to ask something when his eyes landed on Gabriel, who was standing defiantly terrified within the circle of Holy Fire. Harry’s jaw dropped and his eyes bulged as he tried to take a few steps forward, only to stumble. “G-Gabby? What-How-Where have you been!?”

Gabriel sneered. “Oh, you know. Around. I’m trying not to get into the big family pissing match this time, thanks.”

Harry ran a hand over his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not going to fight Michael, you thick-skulled prat! How many times do I have to say this!? I should just make a recording and play it over and over for how many times I have to tell people!”

“What are you talking about?”

As Harry explained his situation to Gabriel for possibly the 3rd time, Dean eyed the two cautiously. Both were dangerous powerhouses and they had no way to stop ether of them if they decided to go ape shit on each other. Great.

“So…you’re sure Dad was the one to do this.”

“No, Gabby, I’m sure it’s the other all-powerful deity with the ability to open the cage, bind my Grace into 3 objects and reincarnate me for a couple of millennia.”

“But you can’t prove you’ve changed.”

“You’ve become a paranoid bastard with the Pagans, brother.” Harry sighed. “You want proof? I’ll give you proof.” With a flick of his wrist, the sprinkler system went off. Water poured down in sheets, dousing the Holy Flames. “Go.”

Gabriel disappeared with a flap of wings and the water shut off. Harry turned to the Winchesters and Castiel. “Now, unless you have another one of my brothers hidden up your trousers, I’ll take my leave.”

“Oh no you don’t.” Dean said. “Not until you tell us who the hell Beelzebub is and why you haven’t killed him yet!”

Everything grew quiet. Harry stared emotionlessly back into Dean’s glare, like he had the right to be surprised. Sam stared horrified at Dean for yelling at the archangel and Cas looked troubled.

Harry bit the inside of his cheek. “He…he was my little brother.”

“Beelzebub is the King of Hell,” Cas said. “He is completely fallen and is solely responsible for the deaths of thousands of angels and the creation of demon deals. He’s a plague to Earth and humanity…and you still see him as a brother?”

He turned away, face bitter. His hands clenched at his sides. “It’s complicated, Castiel. He’s more than a brother now…for the longest time, he was the only one who’d stand by me. He’s the only one I had.”

Realization dawned over Dean. “You’re in love with him.”

Harry flinched. “Maybe? I don’t think I would know. I’ve been in love during past reincarnations, even this one when I was Just Harry, but…” He glanced at Dean, pleading. “Even if I am, I won’t let that affect my logical thinking, Dean. I promise.”

The Morning Star flew away and Dean swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth. “Let’s go,” he said.

“Yeah,” Sam said, his voice tight. “Let’s.”
Up Next: Team Free Will finally goes head to head with the King of Hell.

Chapter Text

Harry Potter

The car jolted down the road and Harry’s head slammed into the roof. Ellen eyed him apologetically through the rearview mirror. “You okay, kid?”

“Yeah,” Harry said, rubbing the back of his head. This wasn’t his first ride in a car, far from it—the Great Flying Car Chase stood out in his mind—but it was the first time riding in one to what could be his death. “I’m fine. Thank you for asking, Ms. Ellen.”

“You trying to smooth talk my mom, archangel?”

“Maybe,” Harry said cheekily. “She’s a lovely woman. I wouldn’t mind taking her out for a night on the town.”

Jo and Ellen laughed. “One night too late for that, Harry,” Ellen said. Harry smiled. It was a relief that Ellen and Jo treated him like a human. He hadn’t been treated like one since he recovered his powers and it felt…good to be considered human again.

“Oh really?” Jo had a mischievous glint in her eye. “Then what did I see last night? You and Sam looked pretty close. I’d even say he liked you~!”

Harry turned away, skillfully keeping a blush off his face. “Sam was drunk. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Ellen peered at him through the mirror. “Just don’t do anything you’d regret, okay? Look, we’re here.”

They pulled over on the apparently empty street. Empty except for the hundreds of reapers everywhere. “Reapers,” he said just to warn Ellen and Jo of their existence.

“Where?”

“Everywhere. Probably for the return of their Master.” Harry noticed Cas walking away from the Winchesters. He fluttered after Cas. “Castiel? What are you—!”

FLOOSH!

Holy Fire leapt up around the two brothers, making them bump together. Harry slide out his Angel Blade and Cas did the same.

Someone was clapping. “Very good,” a woman said, painfully familiar to Harry’s ears. “But I’m afraid those aren’t going to do much good in there.” She stepped out of the shadows and Harry’s heart clenched.

Gin—no, it wasn’t Ginny. He could see Beelzebub’s true form just under Ginny’s innocent face. She was dressed rather provocatively in a halter top and booty shorts. Beelze smiled at him. “Do you like it? I thought this would be better than using one of her brothers, and it looks like I was right. You’re practically salivating.” She licked her lips and squeezed her—Ginny’s—boobs. “I was surprised; Ginerva’s quite well developed for a 16 year old.”

Harry clenched his jaw. “Beelzebub. I should have expected you.”

Beelze pouted. “You’re always underestimating me, Big Brother. Of course I’m going to finish what we started. All our wittle, baby demons are so excited to destroy Heaven, it’s adorable. They think you’ve been trapped by the angels.”

“So you haven’t told them?”

“Told them what? That their precious Daddy decided to become God’s little bitch again? Of course I didn’t tell them!” She screamed, fury radiating out of her. “I waited forever for those pathetic meat sacks to let you out! Then when the cage was finally open, you weren’t there! You decided you like these stupid cattle and called your children abominations! Am I one too!?” She smiled bitterly, any resemblance to Ginny broken in her rant. “You twisted me, you destroyed me. Am I a mistake too?”

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. It was true, all of it. He wanted to apologize, to take Beelze back but… But he couldn’t. His Father…and this world were far more important than one angel’s pathetic feelings. “Yes,” he said, refusing to look at her. He forced the damning words out. “I made you a monster. And I’ll be the one to destroy you.”

“Very well, Lucifer,” she said, oddly subdued. “I love you. Remember that when I kill you.”

He didn’t know how to respond to that. Fortunately, he didn’t have to. “Meg! Be a dear and watch over these adorable little angels for me. I’ve got a Horseman to bind.” A demon sauntered in, old but nothing all that special. Beelze left in a flicker.

“Brother—”

“No, Castiel.”

As the demon (who knew his brother, what was with that?) tried to engage them in witty banter, Harry tried to control his rolling emotions. He…he wouldn’t let them control him, he needed them to be calm. In case…no, when he kills Beelzebub. And Ginny.

Poor Ginny. There was almost no way to kill a demon without killing the host, even if Ginny wasn’t already dead. Demons didn’t exactly keep their hosts in good condition after all. And there was no way Harry would let her simply be exorcised.

A power was growing close by. Death was rising.

Suddenly, a pipe swung down from the ceiling and knocked the demon wench into the Holy Fire. She screamed in pain as first Castiel, then Harry, stepped on her to get out of the circle. They flew off towards the source of the power.

They had Winchesters to save. Again.

Chapter Text

Draco Malfoy

Draco didn't know what he did in a past life to deserve this.

"I don't care if they're alive, Jessie, you need to get rid of them!"

The preteen antichrist hugged the trunk of his newly created talking…friend. "But Tolkien made them!" he whined.

"I don't care what this Tolkien fellow did; you can't just make trees talk! It's not natural and the muggles will notice!"

"They have feelings!"

"They don't exist, Jessie!"

"Well, I made them exist!"

A light, bell-like laugh interrupted their argument and Draco pouted at Luna, not noticing Jessie running off to play with Cebby. "It's not funny," he grumbled as she wrapped him up in a hug.

"It's very funny," she disagreed and silenced Draco with a kiss.

Sam Winchester

Sam had known for a while that he was going to go crazy, but he never thought that he'd be in a mental hospital already when it started happening. It was just a hunt, one that he had suggested to get their minds off…no. He needed to think about something safe. Something safe…like Harry.

A blush immediately covered his face. Hell, he'd been so drunk… the things he'd said…they weren't appropriate. Hell, Harry probably thinks he's some sort of freak now…

"Hey Alex, can I talk to you?"

It took Sam a moment to recognize his fake name and he looked up at the lady doctor. He racked his brain for her name. "Doctor…Marilyn, hey."

She smiled and sat down across from him. "So, what were you thinking about? You were looking pretty flustered."

"I was…" They said they'd be honest, right? So why not be honest about this? "I was thinking about some things and…I think I might like Satan. Romantically."

She raised her eyebrows. "The nice Satan?" Sam nodded. "The one that likes to be called Harry?"

"Yeah, he's…really different than what I was expecting."

"You're telling me. A nice Devil?"

"It's just…" Sam licked his lips. "He's sweet, but sarcastic and he can be mean, but sometimes he just gets this look in his eyes when he's not familiar with something that's absolutely clueless so he tries and figures it out—"

"You sound like you love him."

Sam sputtered. "What—no!"

She laughed and held up her hands. "Okay, okay. Would you like to pursue a relationship with Harry?"

He stopped to think about it. "…Maybe? After the Apocalypse of course, but…what if he leaves?" Goes back to Heaven for the first time in forever, or goes back to wherever he'd been before now.

"I don't think so. From what you told me before, he seems to care about you a lot."

"That doesn't mean he'll stay. Besides, he's still…getting over a pretty bad break up. I don't think he's been dealing with it well."

The doctor gave him a pitying look and Sam hated it. She placed a hand on his. "Just think about what I said, okay?"

"…Fine."

Chapter Text

Sam Winchester

"Help!" Dean yelped as the fat, naked Cupid hugged him.

The Cupid smiled cheerfully. "Oh, help is on the way. Yes, it is." He looked at Cas and his smile grew. "Hello, you!" The Cupid dropped Dean and picked up Castiel. Cas winced.

"This is Cupid?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Cas grunted as Cupid put him down.

He looked at Sam, who stiffened. Oh, no… "And look at you, huh?"

"No." Sam turned away, but Cupid appeared in front of him and hugged him. Sam severely hoped that the Cupid wasn't using a vessel, otherwise…

"Is this a fight?" Dean asked Cas. "Are we in a fight?"

"This is…their handshake."

"I don't like it."

"No one likes it."

The Cupid finally released Sam and turned to face Dean and Cas. "Mmm. What can I do for you?"

"Why are you doing this?" Cas asked.

He looked around confused. "Doing what?"

"Your targets—the ones you've marked—They're slaughtering each other."

"What? They are?" Cupid looked…distressed, at least to Sam. But maybe the cherub was just a good actor.

"Listen, birthday suit, we know, okay!?" Dean yelled. "We know you've been flittin' around, popping people with your poison arrow, making them murder each other!"

"What we don't know is why," Cas cut in.

The Cupid's face dropped with despair. "You think that I—well, uh… I-I don't know what to say…" Then, much to the hunters' dismay, he started crying.

Sam looked hesitantly at the others. "Should…Should somebody maybe…go talk to him?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Dean agreed. "Give 'em hell, Cas."

Cas glared at Dean, but stepped forward to awkwardly pat the Cupid on the back. "Um…look. We didn't mean to, um…hurt your feelings." Suddenly, Cupid pulled Cas into another hug. "Ugh!"

"Love is more than a word to me, you know?" Cupid said, squeezing Cas. "I love love. I love it! And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right!"

Cas pulled away. "Yes, yes. Of course. I, uh…I have no idea what you're saying."

"I was just on my appointed rounds," Cupid said. "Whatever my targets do after that, that's nothing to do with me. I-I was following my orders. Please brother. Read my mind. Read my mind, you'll see."

Placing a hand on the Cupid's head, Castiel did so. "He's telling the truth."

"Jiminy Christmas, thank you!"

"Wait, wait, you said—" Dean licked his lips, glancing at Cas. "You said you were just following orders?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Whose orders?"

"Whose?" The Cupid laughed. "Heaven, silly. Heaven."

"Why does Heaven care if Harry meets Sally?"

"Oh, mostly they don't. You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies. Oh, like yours."

"What?" Sam glanced at Cas, who looked away from them.

"Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester—" Cupid sucked his teeth. "Very big deal upstairs, top priority arrangement. And then there are you three!"

They all exchanged a look. "Us…three?" Sam asked.

"Well, yeah! You three are our most important match-ups ever! Heaven didn't ask for anything specific, just something that could break you two down into saying yes!"

"So what?" Dean snarled. "You just play around with our lives like we're puppets!? Well, it's not going to work! I'm not in love with anyone and it's the same with Cas!"

Sam frowned. "You…you guys set up me and Jess?"

"No, no, with—" Cupid cut himself off and tapped the side of his nose mischievously. "Oh, I'm not allowed to tell you that, big guy! Haha! You have to figure it out yourself! But don't worry, they're a good bit closer than you think!"

Dean couldn't take the Cupid's teasing anymore and popped him one in the face. Cupid started crying and flow off before Dean could say anything. "I think you upset him," Castiel said unhelpfully.

"Yeah, well, he was a dick!"

Harry Potter

It was cold here. He wasn't all that surprised; he was several thousand feet above sea level, after all, but the chill still took Harry's breath away. It was a good place to think, he believed.

Beelzebub would have loved it, if he had been the way he was from before the Fall. Beelze loved the sky, how it constantly changed colors and hues before the night was lit up with the soft light of millions of stars."

So many stars have disappeared.

He has to kill Beelzebub. To kill his little brother. To kill his love…

Oh, Father how he wished he didn't have to do so!

He was going to have to plunge his angel sword into his Beelze, undoubtedly killing Ginny. Poor, innocent Ginny, who he probably would have married if he had been anyone else, even if he had just been the Chosen One (Oh, how he almost missed that name! It was far better than the word Traitor that was always sneered at him by angels and demons alike!).

Tears began to slip down Harry's face. "Father," he whispered into the wind, his voice broken by pain. "Please. You listened to me once, please listen to me again! Don't make me kill them. Not them… Please, there must be another way! I would gladly sacrifice myself for them. Please! Father, please, help me!"

There was no answer.

Chapter Text

Lucifer

“Luci, Luci, what’s that!?” Beelzebub pointed at a lizard, tugging at Lucifer’s tunic with his other hand.

Lucifer smiled down at the little fledgling and scooped him up in his arms. Beelze squeaked in surprise. “That’s a lizard, BB.”

Beelzebub gasped, his chubby little face lighting up pure joy. He reached out to try and touch the reptile. “Pretty!” he squealed, his fluffy wings flapping in Lucifer’s face as he squirmed in excitement.

“Easy! I might drop you!”

Beelzebub froze in his arms and his little lip wobbled. He sniffled and pressed his head into the crook of Lucifer’s neck. “’m sowwy.”

Lucifer petted the fledgling’s head in comfort. “Hey, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“I love you, Luci.”

His arms tightened around the child. “I love you too, Beelze.”

Sam Winchester

“Let me tell you something,” Zachariah said as he paced in front of the trapped brothers. Sam glared at the bastard. “I was on the fast track once. Employee of the month, every month, forever. I would walk these halls and people would AVERT THEIR EYES!” The house shook and the lights flashed with Zachariah’s fury. “I HAD RESPECT! And then they assigned me you. Now look at me.” He chuckled bitterly. “I can’t close a deal on a couple of flannel-wearing maggots? Everybody’s laughing at me…and they’re right to do it. So! Say yes, don’t say yes; I’m still going to take it out of your asses. It’s personal now, boys, and the last person in the history of creation you want as your enemy is me. And I’ll tell you why. Michael may be strong, but I’m…petty. I’m going to be the angel on your shoulder for the rest of eternity.”

“That’s really doubtful, mate.”

Behind Zachariah stood a tall man with messy, brown hair and rectangular glasses. Sam felt a sense of déjà vu as the man smirked cockily even though his arms were crossed defensively.

Zachariah turned to the man. “And why’s that, meat bag?”

“One, my name is Potter, not meat bag. James Potter. Those two boys are acquainted with my son, Harry. And two, it’s doubtful because my wife’s going to kick your arse.”

Suddenly, the angels behind Sam and Dean died in a bright flash of light. The brothers fell to the ground and looked up at a red head standing above them, holding an angel blade in each hand. Zachariah, realizing that he was up against a skilled foe with no backup, fled.

The red head put away her weapons and tossed James a piece of chalk. “James, make a path to the Garden.”

“Who are you?” Sam asked.

She smiled at him and Sam blinked in surprise. That was Harry’s smile… “Lily Potter, Harry’s mum. And you two are the Winchesters.”

“Why’d you help us?” Dean asked, eyeing Lily.

“Joshua asked us too. Plus you’re helping our boy stop the apocalypse. We couldn’t be there for him when we were alive, so I insisted on meeting the ones who are.”

Sam suddenly realize how young the Potters looked. They were in their early twenties, younger than he was, yet they died…for Harry. “We’ll look after him,” he promised.

“Good,” she replied. “He has this Messiah complex, you see. Always trying to sacrifice himself.”

“Done, dear!” James announced, revealing a sigil drawn on one of the bricked up windows.

“How are we getting out through that!?” Dean asked incredulously.

“Like this.” Lily flicked a stick out of her sleeve and pointed it at the window. James scurried out of the way.

"Bombarda Maxima."

BOOM!

Chapter Text

Sam Winchester

Sam paced the floor of the motel room. He glanced at his phone for the 4th time in 15 minutes. Where were they!? Usually at least one of them would have responded by now—

One flutter of wings later and Cas was slouched against a wall, barely holding up a limp Harry. “Cas? Harry?”

“I got your message,” Cas said, maneuvering the two further into the room. “It was long, your message. And I find the sound of your voice grating.”

“Well, I think it’s very pretty,” Harry said, proving that he wasn’t as unconscious as he seemed. “And since I’m your big brother, my opinion matters more.”

“What’s wrong with you two? Are you…drunk?”

“No,” Cas sounded offended.

“Yes,” Harry sounded resigned.

“What the hell happened to you?” Sam said, grabbing them and trying to get them on the couch. Cas went easily, but Harry clung to Sam, making him blush.

“We found a liquor store,” Cas informed him.

“And?”

“And we drank it. Why’d you call us?”

“Cause he missssed us!” Harry exclaimed excitedly, laughing a little.

Sam steadied him. “Whoa, easy. Are you okay?”

Harry smiled and leaned in close, flustering Sam. He whispered, “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

“Just tell us what you need, Sam,” Cas said.

“T-There have been these—these demon attacks—Ow! Harry, my hair! Massive, right on the edge of town. And we can’t figure out why they’re—”

“Any sign of angels?” Cas interrupted.

“Sort of. They’ve been speaking to this prophet.”

“Who?”

“This girl, Leah Gideon.”

Harry snorted and wound his hand more firmly in Sam’s hair. “She is sooooo not a prophet.” He frowned and tugged. Sam winced. “Why’s this so long? Sam, are you secretly a girl?”

Sam tried to remove the hand, but failed. “I’m pretty sure she is. Visions, headaches—the whole package.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “The names of all the prophets, they’re seared into our brains. Leah Gideon is not one of them.”

“Then what is she?”

“I don’t know, but—” Cas tried to stand, but staggered instead. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and collapsed onto the couch, asleep.

“Cas!” Sam tried to help his friend, but Harry held him back, shushing him.

“Just leave him, Sam,” Harry told him, looking up at him with hooded, glassy eyes. Sam gulped. “We’re finally alone.”

“Harry, you’re drunk.”

“And you’re sexy, what’s your point?”

“I’m not taking advantage of you,” Sam said, more for himself than Harry.

Harry actually looked hurt, letting Sam go in favor of hugging himself and sniffing. “You…don’t like me?” And that’s when the water works started. Fat globs of tears ran down Harry’s face as he sobbed pitifully. “First I’m a bad son, then I’m a bad brother, now you hate me! I shouldn’t have been brought back! Father sh-should have just left me in the Cage to r-rot!”

Sam immediately hugged him, pressing Harry’s face into the cotton of his flannel. “I don’t hate you,” he whispered, his voice tight. “No one who ever met you could claim that you’re a bad son. We’d be so much more screwed without you. Even Dean knows it. We…we need you, Harry.”

He stared up at Sam, tears slowing. “You…really?” He sounded so lost, so small that Sam really couldn’t help himself.

Sam pressed a small kiss to the corner of Harry’s mouth.

He pulled back and the archangel stared up at him in shock. Sam was internally panicking. Oh God, what has he done!? Was he pissed!? Did he disgust Harry!? He ruined everything. Harry opened his mouth to say something—probably an insult or rebuke—when he was interrupted by the sound of retching.

Cas threw up on the couch.

Dean Winchester

Soon, Dean came in, blood on his chest. “We went out looking for—You alright?” Sam said, standing.

“Yeah. It’s—it’s not my blood. Paul’s dead.”

“What!?”

“Jane shot him.”

“It’s starting.” Dean noticed Cas sitting with an ice pack to his head. Harry was on the armchair beside Cas, not moving.

“What’s starting? Where the hell have you two been?”

“On a bender,” Cas snapped.

Dean reeled back. “Did he—did you say “on a bender”?”

Sam nodded. “They’re still pretty smashed.”

“I’m drunker than shit while Cas is getting to the hangover stage,” Harry said, his words muffled by upholstery. “Enjoy your pain, baby brother.”

“What’s with him?” Dean asked Cas.

“Asguardian mead, fermented for over a thousand years.”

“Sounds good.”

“It’s one of the most potent alcohols on the planet. Lucifer drank enough to kill any lesser angel. He most likely won’t remember anything tomorrow.”

Sam appeared oddly relieved and disappointed at the same time. “Oh, that’s…good.”

Dean looked at them. “Did I miss something?”

“It’s not of import,” Cas said. “We need to talk about what’s happening here.”

“Well, I’m all ears.”

Sam bit his lip. “Well, for starters…Leah is not a real prophet.”

“What is she, exactly?”

“The whore,” Cas stated.

Harry muttered something that suspiciously sounded like “Just like your mum.”

Dean ignored him. “Wow, Cas, tell us what you really think.”

“She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. And she shall come, bearing false prophecy. This creature has the power to take a human’s form, read minds. Book of Revelation calls her The Whore of Babylon.”

“Well that’s catchy.”

“The real Leah was probably killed months ago,” Sam said.

Dean put his head in his hands. “What about the demons attacking the town?”

“They’re under her control,” Cas confirmed.

“And the Enochian exorcism?”

“Fake. It actually means, heh, you breed with the mouth of a goat.” Cas smiled up at Dean, expecting a laugh, and cleared his throat when he was just stared at. “It’s funnier in Enochian.”

Harry looked up, half asleep. “So is the book of Job, but you don’t see me laughing.”

Chapter Text

Castiel

Castiel landed in the clearing, Lucifer right behind him. The entire forest looked like it had been blown back by an atomic bomb, radiating out at a single point. Lucifer gave Cas a look and shook his head. He didn't do it and neither had Cas. So the angels brought someone else back now.

The two angels crept cautiously around the grave. The ground was pulsing—like it was alive. Cas reached down to touch it when he was attacked from behind. Cas and Lucifer were able to take the other two angels down without much fuss. It was very different compared to fighting his brothers by himself. With Lucifer, it felt more precise, clinical, surgical.

The deed done, Cas turned back to the ground. It was pulsing even more now. The person must be struggling through the dirt, Cas realized. Just as a hand breeched the top layer of soil, Cas reached down and pulled out the living body of Adam Milligan.

"Well, shit."

Harry Potter

Harry watched Sam pace back and forth in Bobby's living room. Adam, the boy Castiel had pulled from the ground, slept in the window seat. Sam had been pacing ever since Dean disappeared, though Harry thought that at least some of his angst came from something else. And no, he wasn't talking about Adam being an ass.

He walked up to Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sam, it's going to be fine. Cas is going to find him. Relax."

When just a-week-ago Sam would have allowed the hand, he now shook Harry off. "We can't know that. We can only wait and it's just—" He sighed, still not looking at Harry.

"You've been avoiding me."

"What!? No—"

"Is it because you regret kissing me?"

Sam stared wide-eyed at him, his mouth gaping like a fish. "How…Y-You remember that!?"

"I'm an archangel, Sam. No matter how strong the alcohol content, intoxication does nothing to my memory. A rather convenient perk." Sam tried to stutter out an apology, but Harry wouldn't have any of it. "You never answered my question. Do you regret kissing me?"

He glanced at Harry, his face solemn and just a bit heartbroken. "No…" he said, his head hanging. "No, I don't."

"Good." Sam's head shot up and Harry cupped his cheek as he stared up at him. They gazed into each other's eyes, green meeting brown. Harry spoke breathlessly. "Then perhaps…could I kiss you?"

"Oh, God yes," Sam replied and Harry pulled him down for a kiss.

Castiel

Cas was searching for Dean when the prayers of a preacher—one who'd seen Dean, he realized—reached him. "Our father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name—"

He flew behind the man, startling both him and Dean. Anger curdled in him when he saw Dean—strong Dean, brave Dean, broken Dean. "You pray too loud," Cas said and touched the preacher. He fell to the ground, unconscious, leaving Cas free to drag Dean into the nearest alley. He threw Dean into a brick wall.

"What, are you crazy!?" Dean yelled once he was back on his feet.

Cas punched him in his stupid, pretty mouth. "I rebelled for this!?" He screamed, punching Dean again, this time in the stomach. "So that you could surrender to them!?"

"Cas! Please!"

He didn't listen. Cas dragged Dean off the ground and held him against the alley wall. "I gave everything for you! And this is what you give me! Can you not just trust Harry!? Can you not trust me!?"

"Of course I trust you! But damn it, Cas, we aren't any closer to stopping the apocalypse! The Colt can't kill Beelzebub, Harry can't work up the nerve to do it, and now the holy feather dusters have brought Adam back from the dead to be their puppet! At least this way one else will get hurt!"

"They'll destroy half the planet!" Cas yelled. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Dean Winchester, the man who taught him free will, was giving up.

"Half the planet is better than no planet!"
"Damn it, Dean!" Castiel said, his voice a low growl. He shook Dean. "I just lost my Father. I'm not going to lose you as well." Following his instincts, Cas pulled Dean down into a bruising kiss.

Chapter Text

Harry Potter

Just as Kali was about to stab Gabriel in the chest, her hand was stopped by a paler, smaller one. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," Harry intoned darkly, having appeared just in time.

"Bro?" Gabe asked hesitantly. "What are you doing here?"

Harry snapped his fingers and Gabe's ropes fell away. "Sam called me. I'm here to warn you." He looked at Kali. "Beelzebub is on his way here."

She sneered. "Good. Then we can end this."

"Not good, because you're going to die." As soon as he said that, someone else in the building screamed in pain. They were close. "See? Gabriel!" The archangel snapped to attention at his commanding tone. "Get what's left of the gods and get them out of here."

"We don't need your help!" Kali snapped.

"Really? And how are you going to kill him? With that fake archangel blade? Oh please." Harry snorted. "Beelzebub was borderline archangel when he fell. That would be an annoying little poke to him. Sam, Dean, I need you two to rescue the humans trapped here."

"What about you?" Sam asked, clasping Harry's shoulder.

"I think it's about time I took care of my little brother." He didn't want to. Dear Father, he didn't want to. But Beelze gave him no choice. He pulled Sam down into a short and sweet kiss, their lips barely touching yet managing to convey more fear and affection between the two than words ever could. He pulled back. "Go now."

When he turned towards the French doors, Harry found that Beelzebub was already there, Ginny's face contorted in disgust. Harry flicked out his angel blade and waited.

"A human." Ginny's voice held more contempt than he'd ever heard. Harry suppressed a flinch. "Lucifer, really? I mean, I know you've been slumming lately, but I hope you didn't…catch anything."

"Beelzebub, you're my brother and I love you." A smile grew on Beelze's face at the words. "But you are a bigger duchebag than I am."

The smiled dropped into a scowl. "Wait, what did you just say to me?"

"Look at yourself! You think this is what I want!?" Harry gestured out at the carnage behind him, at everything Beelzebub had done. "The destruction of Father's creation? I've changed, Beelzebub."

"No!" Beelze shook his head in denial. "No, you're still my Luci, my brother—"

"We can play the victims all we want, but we know the truth. Dad loved me best. More than Michael, more than you. Then he brought the new baby home and I couldn't take it. And you followed me into the world's greatest temper tantrum. But I've grown up. It's time for you to do so as well."

"Lucifer, if you're doing this for Michael…"

"Screw Michael! If he were here, I'd let Gabe shiv his ass."

Ginny's face twisted in fury and Beelzebub stamped his foot. The earth shook. "How dare you!" he screamed. "How dare you turn your back on your children, on me—"

"I didn't turn my back on you, Beelzebub. I went home." He said desperately and held out his unarmed hand towards the other. "Come home, Beelze. Help Dad, help me protect the humans from Michael. Come home."

"So you're willing to die for a pile of cockroaches…" Beelzebub shook his head and glared. "Never. I'll kill you first, then I'll send your little boy toy down to the racks."

"Brother…" Harry begged. "Don't make me do this."

"No one makes us do anything." An angel blade appeared in Beelzebub's hand and he twirled it expertly. "You taught me that."

He lunged at Harry and the two battled furiously, blades sparking off each other. With every attack one launched, the other countered effortlessly. They could have gone on for eternity if Harry hadn't used his Grace to trip Beelzebub up. In one swift movement, Harry's blade was up to the hilt in Beelzebub's guts.

The demon stilled, mouth open in shock as his body flickered orange. And then he died, falling off Harry's blade with a wet plop and to the ground. Tears bleed down Harry's face as he knelt next to the body. "Beelze…Beelze, I'm so sorry."

"H-Har…ry?"

His eyes widened. "Ginny?" The dying girl smiled up at him and jerked into motion. "Don't worry. Don't worry, Ginny, I'm going to heal you—"

"D-Don't."

"What?"

"Let…me go. I'm so sorry, Harry. I just want to see Fred and the others again. I'm so sorry…so sor—" Blood gurgled up from her throat, cutting her off.

Harry squeezed her hand. "You don't have to be sorry, Ginny. It's not your fault. You're—" He suppressed a sob. "You're going to heaven, Ginny. You'll love it, I swear."

"L-Love you."

He smiled. "Love you too, Ginny."

The light in her eyes faded and Ginny breathed out for the last time. Tears continued to fall as Harry closed her eyes and kissed her forehead. He sat there, just holding her for a little bit longer.

Chapter Text

Luna Lovegood

Cebby's howls and snarls were still audible from 3 floors above.

Luna looked desperately around the room as Draco barricaded the door. There had to be a way out! Normally she would just pray to Harry. He always heard her, he always answered. But not this time. No, not this time.

This time there were angel wards all over the building to keep Harry out.

Why had they been so stupid!? They had been cocky, confident in their assumed safety. Now they were trapped, Cerberus was far from them, and they didn't know where Jesse was.

(Please let him have escaped. Please let him have escaped. Please don't let him be unconscious, or captured, or dead—)

Her eyes landed on a rune opposite of the door. The anti-apparition rune. She silently cast a blasting spell at it, but the golden spell fizzled out against the wood. Luna was about to try breaking it with her nails when Draco's barrier exploded.

Shrapnel spun past them. Luna looked behind her into the smoke. Her heart froze.

Ron Weasley stepped into the room, eyes as black as the pit. One blink later and they were back to a watery blue.

Draco scowled and drew his wand. "Weasel."

Ron smirked, the expression looking wrong on her friend's face. "Draco Malfoy, you are under arrest. Deadly force authorized and encouraged. Feel free to scream for mercy—"

"Bombarda!"

The two battled furiously behind her as Luna turned back to the rune and attacked it with her nails. Killing curses and other nasty Dark spells flew around her and came within inches of hitting her. It hurt like hell, but still she worked, trying to insure their escape.

Just as her nails ripped through the wood rune, two horrible screams—one Ron, the other unmistakably Draco—rang through the air. Draco had managed to hit Demon Ron with a Killing Curse and the spell had done its original job, ripping the Demon from its host and banishing it back to hell. However, the demon had hit Draco with a spell in return—one that slowly dissolves the lungs with no counter curse.

Luna sprinted to his side. She cradled his body in her bloody hands, holding him as he tried to gasp for breath. "Please don't leave me," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Don't go. Don't go, I have to something to tell you, Draco, Draco—"

He pressed a finger to her lips and smiled, blood leaking out of the corner of his mouth. "I love you," he gurgled. "I…regret many t-things in my life…But not you…Never you…"

Tears dripped down Luna's face in huge globs, her face reddening. She wanted to insist that he would be alright, that they'd find a counter curse, but she couldn't fool herself. Even if they could find a cure, Draco would be dead in minutes.

How had she not seen this coming!?

It took another minute for Draco to die. His ability to speak turned to nothing more than pained gasps and bloody gurgles. Finally, he breathed out one last time and his eyes dulled.

Luna pressed one last kiss to his forehead and closed his eyes. She could barely see through her tears, but still stood up shakily and disapperated away.

Chapter Text

Harry Potter

He couldn't kill Michael.

He should. After orchestrating the entire apocalypse, after what he did with Adam, after torturing the Winchesters for generations, Harry should hate him with his entire being.

Then Beelzebub's dying face would appear before his eyes. He'd see the hollow look on Luna's face when she told him of Draco's death. He'd hear Narcissa's furious screams, see Gabriel's accusing eyes, feel Castiel's hopeful gaze. All of them needing him to be the hero once again, to slay the monster, and rise triumphant.

But Michael wasn't a monster. He was family.

Harry didn't want to kill anymore family.

So he convinced the Winchesters that they should use Gabriel's plan. He could wrestle Michael into the Cage. Maybe. He might have allowed Sam to think he was the stronger archangel, but if he'd learned that it was really the other way around, then they'd have no plan.

Dean and Harry were sneaking up on Death to take his ring when the scythe in Dean's hand heated up. He yelped and dropped it, but before it hit the ground it vanished and appeared on Death's table. "Thanks for returning that," Death said. His voice was refined, like it belonged in an art gallery instead of a pizza parlor filled with corpses. "Join me, Dean, Harry. The pizza's delicious." The two glanced at each other nervously and walked around to the other side of the table. "Sit down." They did so. "Took you long enough to find me. I've been wanting to talk to you."

"I gotta say," Dean said. "Mixed feelings about that. So is this the part where…where you kill us?"

Death rolled his eyes. "You both have an inflated sense of your importance. To a thing like me, a think like you… Well. Think about how you'd feel if a bacterium and a butterfly sat at your table and started to get snarky." Harry and Dean gulped in unison. "This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. I'm old. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you." Death took a bite of his pizza and looked at Harry in contemplation. "Yet, despite how meaningless and short human lives can be, those with longer lives can't help but get attached, can they, Lucifer?"

Harry glared, but Death pointed at the pizza in front of him and Dean. "Eat." Not wanting to piss Death off, they did so. It was wonderful. "Good, isn't it?" Death asked.

"Well, I gotta ask," Dean said, putting down his pizza. "How old are you?"

"As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless, at the end, I'll reap him too."

Harry chocked. "God!?" he asked. He couldn't' believe it. "You'll reap God!?"

"Oh, yes," Death seemed too pleased. "God will die too, Harry."

"So why are we still breathing, sitting here with you? What do you want?"

"I want my Hollows back."

Harry hadn't expected that. "What?"
"The Deathly Hallows. They've caused enough mayhem among the humans and you're in possession of them. I'd like them back."

"So…that's it? Just return these "Hallows" and you'll defeat Michael?" Dean asked.

"There's your ridiculous bravado again," Death snapped. "Like it would be that easy. The only way to prevent the death match of the millennia is to put Michael in the Cage. And to do that, you'll need this." He held up his hand and there on his finger was a white jeweled ring.

"Yeah."

"I'm inclined to give it to you."

"To give it to me?"

"That's what I said."

"But what about Chicago?"

"I suppose it can stay. I like the pizza. There are conditions." He looked at Harry. "You're the only one strong enough to wrestle Michael into that hole. Do whatever it takes."

"Of course," Harry agreed.

"Whatever it takes."

"That's the plan."

"No. No plan. Not yet. You're going to have to pull him into the Cage yourself and close the door behind you. And you'll never come back. Understand?"

Harry nodded shakily. "Y-Yeah."

"That had better be a "yes," Lucifer. You know you can't cheat death again." Death took off his ring and put it on the table. "Now, would you like the instruction manual?"

Sam Winchester

A smile appeared across Sam's face as he heard wings behind him. He hugged Harry. "Hey, did you get the ring?"

Harry smiled up at him. "Yeah. I take it that your act of domestic terrorism went well?"

"Yeah," Sam said with a laugh. "We…we stopped them. I can barely believe it." He looked around. "Where's Dean?"

"I left him with Castiel. He mentioned something about my brother not dying a virgin so I assume they're doing something inappropriate. I don't know why virginity is important. I'm one."

Sam's throat went dry. "S-So you've never done…it?"

"Have sex? No. I'm sure it's happened in a past life, but those memories are only clear enough for me to understand what's happening. Why, are you offering to take it?" Harry smirked.

"Only if you're willing," Sam said honestly. "We'll have all the time in the world after the apocalypse."

Harry blinked, then smiled sadly. "All the time in the world, huh?" he whispered. Then he sauntered up to Sam and tiptoed so he could kiss him. "Kill the lights," Harry whispered against Sam's lips, his eyes hooded and glowing.

Sam immediately obliged.

Chapter Text

Last time on The Morning Star…

Carry on my wayward son

"He's got this Messiah complex, you see. Always thinks he has to sacrifice himself."

There'll be peace when you are done.

"You're the only one strong enough to wrestle him into that hole."

Lay your weary head to rest

"May I kiss you?"

"Oh, God, yes."

Don't you cry no more

Now

The only sound throughout the filthy house was the clicking of a keyboard. A man in white sat in front of a computer, fingers tapping out the story of life while his breath smelled faintly of coffee and whiskey. Suddenly, he leaned back in his office and read his work aloud, trying to catch the errors.

"Everything Harry Potter had ever done was the result of being raised by Vernon and Petunia Dursley. It was their behavior towards him that shaped his personality so much that when he discovered he was the archangel Lucifer, he—no, no…" He backspaced. "That's not the right beginning…Oh! Hello, Luna."

"Hello, Chuck," the blonde said, walking into the room. Her white dress swished around her knees as she came closer. "It's nice to finally met you… You're hard at work, as usual."

He smiled. "I suppose so. What are you doing here?"

"I was wondering…perhaps I could stay here? Just until the story is over."

"Of course you can," he said, getting up to grab a kitchen chair and pull it next to his own. "Here. You can watch it happen with me." She sat gratefully and Chuck finally got a good look at her. Heavy bags rimmed her dull eyes and her entire body seemed hunched over her stomach. "How are you?" he asked. "Is the baby okay?"

She gave him a small, sad smile. "You already know the answer to your own questions, Chuck."

"You're right, but I thought I'd ask anyway." He placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, then sat back down and continued the story.

Sam Winchester

Sam woke up to a salty taste in his mouth and an empty bed. He sat up. Harry's half of the bed was cold. He'd left a while ago. Sam pursed his lips. Had he…not been good? Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he nearly jumped when Cas flew into the room. "Cas!" Sam shouted, quickly covering up with a sheet. "Can't you knock!?"

"No," he replied. "It's about Dean…and Harry."

"What?"

Instead of answering, Cas handed Sam a note…in Dean's handwriting. As Sam read it, dread planted itself firmly into his chest. "Harry's…sacrificing himself for the world?"

Cas nodded. "And Dean's helping."

"We've got to do something."

"But what? They specifically asked us not to interfere."

Sam looked down at the note crumpled in his hand. Specifically the part that said, "Harry isn't strong enough to kill Michael, but he says he can keep him occupied enough to drag him into the Cage when I open it."

"I've got an idea. But first, I'm going to need some pants." Cas nodded and waited. "Cas…That means you need to leave."

"Oh…my apologies."

Harry Potter

His arrival in Stull Cemetery was indicated by the sound of flapping wings. Harry strode through the weeds, glancing around the old bone yard. He was the first one there. Good.

He wished he had said goodbye to Sam. It's funny; when Harry had left that morning, he had been thankful that Sam was asleep. He didn't have to tell Sam what he had to do. He didn't have to hear Sam begging him to find another way.

Now he wished Sam had.

More wings and then Michael was there, wearing Adam with more confidence than the boy ever had. But Adam wasn't Michael's true vessel despite the bloodline, so Harry could see where he was starting to…wear thin. Harry's lips quirked up. Well, time to stall. "Hello, Michael. I'd say it's good to see you, but, under the circumstances…"

Michael nodded. "Agreed. You're looking…good, for not being in your vessel."

"Dad made it custom. Like it?"

He laughed mockingly. "Sure He did… It's nice. Nothing like how you really are, though."

"Prettier than yours," Harry shot back.

Another laugh, this time more genuine. "I've missed you, Lucifer. Heaven is truly lacking without your wit." A sigh. "Can you believe it's finally here?"

"No. Not really…I wish we didn't have to do this."

"Yeah," Michael agreed. "Me too."

"Then why are we?"

"Oh, you know why!" He snapped. "I have no choice, after what you did!"

What I did!?" Harry countered. "I have been trying to prevent this fight since I returned! What have you done!?"

"What's your point?"

"We're going to kill each other!" Harry shouted. "And for what? Get your head out of your ass long enough to see that Dad doesn't want this! We're brothers. Let's just…walk off the chessboard," he begged.

"I'm sorry. I-I can't do that. I'm a good son, and I have my orders."

"Those orders are millennias old! Did it ever cross your mind that He might have changed His mind?"

"Impossible."

"Everything has free will, Michael. Even God."

Michael shook his head rapidly. "No…no, you're just trying to shake my conviction." He glared balefully. "You're a monster, Lucifer." Harry flinched. "And I have to rid the world of you."

Harry spread his arms wide, baring his chest. "Then go ahead, Michael. Strike me down. I won't fight."

Michael's eyes grew wide in surprise. "What!?"

"I will not fight you, Michael. So strike me down where I stand and let this farce of an apocalypse be over." Come on, Dean, hurry up…

"T-This…" His hands shook. "This isn't…I can't…"

He never got the chance to finish his sentence as Dean rolled over the top of the hill, blasting rock music from the Impala's speakers. Harry smiled and let his arms drop as he rolled closer. Dean stepped out of the car, hands stuffed in his pockets. "Hey guys. Am I interrupting something?"

"You're late," Harry said.

"There was traffic," Dean shot back.

"You're no longer the vessel, Dean," Michael snarled, obviously not understanding what was happening. "You have no right to be here."

Dean looked at Michael. "Adam, if you're in there somewhere, I am so sorry."

Michael sneered. "Adam isn't home right now."

"Well, then it's a good thing you're on my list, buttercup."

"You little maggot. You are no longer a part of this story—"

"Hey, assbutt!"

They all turned to see Castiel holding a bottle with a flame burning from the top—a Molotov cocktail. Cas threw the bottle at Michael, who screamed as he went up in flames.

Dean stared incredulously. "Assbutt?"

Cas gave him a look that said, "What more do you want!?"

"Castiel," Harry said in a calm voice, barely hiding his anger. "Did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?"

Cas shuffled nervously. "Um…no."

"I asked him to." Harry's anger dissipated, summoning fear, when Sam walked over the crest of the hill. "Harry…don't do this. Please."

He…had wished for this, right? Then why did it hurt so badly? "Sam, you need to leave now," Harry demanded. "Michael won't hesitate to kill you."

"Not without you."

"I have to do this, Sam!" he shouted. "I'm the only one who can get Michael into the Cage. It's ether that, or let him kill me. Please, you have to leave!"

"There's another way, Harry!"

"No there's not!"

Sam grabbed him by the shoulders. "Yes there is! Use me was a vessel!" Harry froze, a horrified expression on his face. "That'll make you powerful, right? Then we can defeat Michael."

"You don't know what you're saying. "Harry managed. "My Grace…it'll destroy your mind."

"Sam," Dean said, pulling his brother away and passing Harry the Horsemen rings. "You have to let him do this."

"But…" He mumbled, his eyes locked on Harry. "I can't…" The words were still there, even though Sam didn't say them.

Lose him.

Harry smiled, tears in his eyes and threw down the rings. "Bvtmon tabges babalon." The ground divvied and a swirling pit appeared, leading down into the center of the earth. Harry stepped towards the edge and looked back. "Goodbye, Sam," he yelled over the wind. "I miss you." Already. He missed Sam already.

"Lucifer!" Michael flew in, closer to Harry but not close enough. "It's not going to end this way! Step back!"

"You're going to have to make me, big brother!" Harry challenged.
"I have to fight you, Lucifer!" Michael said, stepping forward just like Harry planned. "Here and now! It's our destiny!"

"Destiny's bullshit!" Harry looked at Sam, closed his eyes, and spread his arms. Michael lunged forward to grab him, but Harry caught his arm and pulled him into the pit, falling in together.

A few seconds later, the hole closed in a blinding flash of light.

Fin

Chapter Text

Harry Potter

            “Do you have any threes?”

            “Go fish.”

            Sighing, Harry reached out and grabbed another card from the deck in between Michael and him. They weren’t real cards, of course; just manifestations of his Grace given shape in order to provide some break from the absolute boredom and monotony that living in the Cage has caused. It wasn’t working very well. Both archangels were bored to tears.

            When they had first fallen into the Cage, their battles had shaken the ground. That was back when Adam’s soul was still among them. Michael, trying to fulfill what he thought was their Father’s will, had attacked him for what felt like decades and Harry defended, unintentionally hurting Adam’s soul in the process. After all that time fighting in the Cage, the two archangels eventually came to the realization that neither could die while inside.

            Then Death appeared one day. He had taken Adam’s soul, which Dean Winchester had exchanged his ring back in order to allow Adam to go to Heaven. The information still made Harry smile. Leave it to Dean to exchange one of the most powerful artifacts in the world just to get a soul out of Hell. He supposed that was just the Winchester way.

            Death had kept him updated about what they were doing after that. Harry had come to anticipate and dread these visits; anticipate because it broke the normal dullness of his life and got to hear how they were doing, dread because somehow, even after stopping the Apocalypse which is supposedly the most challenging thing in the world, they kept getting into worse situations. Seriously, first Eve, then Leviathans, then fight after fight after fight. Those poor brothers…his poor Sam…

            Thinking about the Winchesters and Castiel hurt. Dean hurt the least. He was like another Michael, but (not that Harry would ever admit this out loud) better. He was a comrade in arms, the only one who understood why he had to trap Michael. Because just like him, Dean understood not being able to kill one’s brother, even though the world would be better without him. Harry would be ever grateful of Dean.

            Castiel…Cas was only just bearable to think about. His little brother. The one who watched with curious eyes as the first humans just started to develop. Death had told Harry of Castiel’s time with all the souls of Purgatory inside of him, of his time insane, and finally his life as a hunter. His little brother had messed up a lot in his pursuit of free will for their family, just like Harry had done. But somehow…Cas was better at it. He was the one truly chosen to bring freedom to the angels. But with every word Death spoke about him, Harry desired to escape the Cage and hide Castiel away from the world in order to keep it from hurting him anymore.

            And Sam… Sam was like an hour long Crusio. Every thought of him was either wishes and laments or urges to know how he was doing. The latter urge was often satisfied by Death’s visits, but Harry always felt worse afterwards. He should be with him. He shouldn’t be in here, trapped with Michael playing endless rounds of Gold Fish, when he should be up top, fighting side by side with Sam and preventing tragedies from happening to his human. Harry couldn’t blame Sam for trying to move on—moving on was a part of human existence. To not do so would be detrimental to his psyche, like Snape’s obsession with his mother.

            But nothing ever worked. Sam seemed destined to suffer heartbreak after heartbreak.

            Albeit, Harry’s time in the Cage hadn’t been all bad. He finally got Michael to actually listen to him for once, to explain why Dad hadn’t wanted the Apocalypse yet (Michael had forced him to add on the yet, citing that even if Dad didn’t want the world to end now, it didn’t mean that it couldn’t end later.). It didn’t change that they were stuck without anything to do besides endless card games.

            Sighing again, Harry said, “Do you have any twos—do you hear that?”

            There was chanting. It was faint, a whisper on non-existent wind. There were rarely sounds from the outside world inside the Cage—occasional screams of the damned, the odd Satanist’s prayer that he could do nothing about even if he wanted too, the random soul’s voice that Harry had tempted back when he was really into all that “Lord of Darkness” BS. But this wasn’t like any of those. It was a long string of words in…Latin, maybe? He couldn’t tell, the voice was too far away.

            Michael stood, his cards vanishing into nothing. “What is that?” he demanded as if Harry would know the answer.

            “How would I know?” Harry shot back. “You’d know better than I would with all your time conscious of divine and demonic movements. It’s not like you were doing nothing up in Heaven while all of my followers were trying to break me out of here, right?”

            “You think it’s a demon?” he scoffed. “Impossible.”

            “Is it really so impossible that a demon would try to release its creator, or are you just being a pompous arsehole?”

            “Why you little—” Reconciled or not, no one could ever claim that Harry didn’t know how to provoke his brother. Michael swung a fist at him, only for it to go straight through Harry like he was mist. “How is that…?”

            “Looks like I’m getting out of here a bit sooner than we expected, Mikey,” Harry whispered, awe coloring his tone as he inspected his hand. It was turning translucent. He glanced up at Michael, who was watching him with wide eyes. “I guess this is goodbye for now, Michael.”

            “Lucifer, wait—!”

            The chanting grew louder as Harry was spirited away. It felt like he was being tugged up by his navel. Smoke bellowed over him, around him, fading everything to a dull grey which wasn’t much better to black rocks of the Cage. He was pulled along until solid ground appeared under his feet, although the smoke didn’t dissipate. Harry took a shaky step forward, trying to gain a sense of direction. What was this place? Was it Hell, Heaven, Purgatory? The color reminded him of Purgatory, but there was something distinctively human about this place…

            He could hear someone breathing. Harry started walking left, towards the sound. As he got closer, the smoke began to clear and Harry could tell that he was heading towards the light. Finally the smoke cleared enough for him to see the person that was there.

            His eyes widened. It couldn’t…could it? With shaking hands, Harry reached out and clutched the bars that separated them. His heart sped as he took in the other’s features—the longer hair, the stronger jawline, the same hopeful, hazel eyes… Slowly, a smile graced Harry’s face as words tumbled out of his mouth.

            “Hello Sam. It’s been far too long.”