Chapter Text
“Catra! Bow! Can you block off that entrance?” Adora calls, frantic as she and Glimmer try to keep some wild, magic animal from trampling half of Thaymore. Catra isn’t sure what to call it. It looks something like a pig except with too many eyes and an unnatural sort of glow.
“On it!” Bow answers and Catra follows, both of them running at break-neck speed towards the trees as Glimmer teleports back and forth, trying to get it to chase her and Adora instead of Catra and Bow. It takes the bait, charging her.
“I don’t know how we’re going to do this!” he shouts at Catra over the noise of it all, panting.
“What, no fancy arrows this time?” she huffs.
“Actually, I do have one that might work! But I’ll need your help.”
The reintroduction of all the pent-up magic on Etheria hasn’t come without its problems. A town suddenly overgrown by trees, their roots and branches tangling as they grow unnaturally quickly. A great rift in the earth, torn by the eruption of magic from the core of the planet, right through the middle of a city.
Now Thaymore, the little town that always seems to be in some sort of trouble, is being menaced by this giant thing, whatever it is. Animals like these used to be found only in the depths of the Whispering Woods, one of the last vestiges of magic on Etheria. Now they’re everywhere and towns like Thaymore are scrambling to adapt to a planet that’s not always recognizable anymore as its wild magic returns.
Bow shoots up into the top boughs of a tree and a net comes loose from the arrow. It’s the same kind that captured Catra once years ago. Without a target to wrap itself around it hangs, limp, and too short to bridge the gap they need to block.
Catra is in the tree without needing to be told, grabbing the loose corner and bounding through the canopy to the tree across from it.
“Can you give me an arrow? A regular one!” she specifies before he gives her something that explodes or deafens her with sound. Before she can say anything else, an arrow whizzes past her, barely missing her nose, as it buries itself in the bark of the tree.
“A warning would’ve been nice!” she shouts as she tugs the corner of the net over the arrow, securing it.
“Sorry!”
“It’s whatever! We need another one!”
“Already there,” he calls, pointing to a matching net just below the first. She jumps back to the first tree, scrambling down the trunk to grab the second net. The next jump will be more difficult. She’s not in the treetops anymore where the branches intertwine. She puts the corner in her mouth and leaps, desperately sinking her claws into the wood as she almost misses.
“I need another arrow! A count of three would be nice, though.”
Bow counts to three and then shoots again. This time the arrow lands right in the corner of the net where Catra needs it.
“Done!” she calls.
“I’m securing the bottom!” he answers, driving arrows into the ground with his hands like stakes just as Catra hears a strangled shout from Adora. She clambers up the tree to watch, making sure she’s safe. She’s leapt in front of Glimmer who teleported too close and was nearly crushed. Even as She-Ra, Adora is struggling against the immense strength of this animal, digging her heels in. Catra growls under her breath as she drops down to help Bow.
“Uh, Catra? You okay?” Bow asks, uneasy as they work.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” she answers, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice as she uses her frustration to force arrows into the earth.
“Uh,” he points as Melog bristles, mane going reddish as Adora squares off with a magic beast many times her size.
“Don’t worry about Melog, I’m fine. They’re just on edge because of that thing-”
Bow nods, looking unconvinced but unwilling to question it in the middle of a scuffle.
“Okay! It’s blocked!” he shouts.
“Thank goodness!” Adora bellows, strained. “Glimmer-”
In a flash of purple, Glimmer appears next to them with the beast and Adora in tow, dashing across to them with her hand in Adora’s.
“Everyone grab on!” she yelps as the thing charges all of them. They appear on the other side of the net, tense, on the ground together in a heap hoping it holds as it barrels towards them. The net strains, but it doesn’t budge. After a moment, it gives up, stomping angrily back into the woods.
“Oh, thank god,” Adora groans, pinching the bridge of her nose as her transformation disappears. Glimmer flops back onto the ground.
“Do me a favor and don’t move me for a second, okay?” she whines, put-upon.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Catra mutters as Bow sighs.
“Whew. I’m glad that net held. But we’re always a good team, so we should’ve known,” he grins, nudging Catra affectionately.
“Yeah,” she answers, trying to muster a smile, but she thinks it falters because Bow gives her an anxious look.
“You sure you’re okay?” Bow asks and Adora perks up at that, on high-alert at the suggestion that Catra isn’t alright.
“I’m fine.”
He doesn’t argue but he’s skeptical. She realizes why, too, when she catches sight of Melog. Their fur stands on end and their tail thrashes, ears pinned, clearly frustrated. Adora looks between Melog and Catra a few times before hesitantly reaching out to Melog.
“Hey, it’s okay-” she ventures before Melog hisses at her and swats her hand. They don’t hurt her, but it’s an obvious warning. Adora startles and turns to Catra who hunches over, looking at the ground.
“Are you...mad at me?” Adora asks, quiet but honest. Glimmer and Bow look as if they’d like the ground to swallow them both whole.
“No,” Catra answers, but with Melog glaring at her, it’s a flimsy lie.
Melog is a simultaneous blessing and curse. They’re a wonderful companion, but they make it absolutely impossible for Catra to hide anything anymore. It’s particularly awful in moments like these when Catra is trying to get control of herself and they go and betray every little stray emotion that crosses her mind.
“Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s true,” Adora argues, approaching sarcasm as she gestures at Melog. They answer with something between a yowl and a rumbling growl that sounds deep in their chest.
“Okay, I have a great idea,” Glimmer leaps up off the ground where she’s been trapped between them and Bow joins her. “Why don’t Bow and I teleport home and you two can take Melog home and have some space to figure this out. Sound like a plan?”
“I don’t think Melog is going to let me-” Adora starts to protest but Glimmer is already gone, yanking Bow to her by the wrist and disappearing, the only remnant some purple sparkles that wink and die in the space in front of them.
“Cool, guess we’re walking,” Catra mutters. Adora follows her silently for a little while, but Catra knows she isn’t going to stay quiet for long.
“So, uh, what happened?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m handling it.”
Adora eyes Melog warily. Their color has shifted back to blue but they’re still guarded, slinking low to the ground, ears flat.
“I’m sure you’re fine, but I want you to know it’s okay if you’re not,” she ventures. “You can tell me if you’re upset with me.”
“Thanks,” Catra nods. “But I can handle it.”
“I know you can, but,” Adora pauses, eyes wide. “Is it because I went off to work with Glimmer and sent you and Bow on your own?”
“I mean, maybe,” she rolls her eyes. “But I’m working on it. So it’s fine.”
“Okay. If you’re sure you’re alright. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“It’s okay,” Catra sighs, reaching to take her hand. “It’s just a little hard for me sometimes to see you in tense situations like that one but I’ll be fine.”
Catra thinks that the moment of anger in Thaymore is a fluke. But the longer they’re in Brightmoon, the more her temper she thought was gone or at least dampened starts to flare again.
She spends her days trying to bury more and more. Desperate fear when Glimmer teases her lightly that she’s actually angry with Catra or doesn’t like her. A resentment when Adora laughs with Bow and Glimmer about things she wasn’t there to witness. Hot anger when Adora leaves Brightmoon to handle something on her own and instead of asking to go with her, Catra reasons that she should be able to handle being on her own and assures her she’ll be fine only to spend the next hours stewing and trying to will it away.
When Adora returns from that trip, she comes into their room to find Catra sitting in the middle of the floor with Melog standing in front of her. They hiss, threatened, as she crosses the threshold and Catra just puts her hands over her face, embarrassed at being unable to hide anything from her.
“Catra,” Adora pleads. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” Catra groans. “I think I hate Brightmoon.”
“What?” Adora startles, incredulous. “Why?”
“I don’t know, maybe because I was fine for an entire year while we went all over the galaxy doing things a million times more dangerous than anything here and then as soon as we’re back on Etheria, I’m losing my mind.”
“I don’t know if that’s Brightmoon,” Adora reasons gently. “I think there’s something else going on.”
“Yeah, me not being able to handle stupid things,” Catra snaps as Adora slowly approaches.
“It’s not stupid,” Adora shakes her head. “I think it’s more like some of the stuff you’ve always been dealing with is hitting now.”
“What, so I can handle the end of the world just fine, but not your going on an errand?”
“I mean, maybe,” Adora nods. “I don’t know if the end of the world left a lot of room for you to think. It didn’t for me.”
Catra can’t respond. She does remove her hands from her face and Melog backs down a little.
"I'm not trying to undermine you when I say this, believe me," Adora tells her, looking at her with a mixture of apprehension and sympathy. "I'm really proud of you and I know you've been working hard. But something's clearly bothering you and handling it the way we've been trying doesn't seem to be working."
“It was working before.”
“I don’t think it was,” Adora shakes her head. “We tried punching our feelings out all over the galaxy. But I think it was just a really good distraction,” she smiles sadly.
Catra curls her tail around herself and can't reply at first as Melog stands over her, defensive, back arched a little. Adora shifts her weight, hands at her sides, and they twitch every so often as if she isn't sure what to do with them.
"Can I sit with you?" she asks and Catra nods, curling up to her side as she does so, though she still doesn't speak. Melog allows it, but doesn't calm, still defending her against an invisible assailant no one can see.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know, I don't even know what I'd say if I did," she throws her hands up, frustrated. "It's all stupid anyway!"
"It's not stupid," she repeats.
"I thought I was past this!" she growls weakly and Adora rubs her back in gentle circles.
"Maybe you aren't," Adora suggests, hesitant. "It hasn't been that long, Catra."
"It's been a year!"
"Yeah, but we were traveling for most of that. And a year isn't that long. We were fighting each other for longer than that."
Catra's tail thrashes, agitated. Adora merely rests with her, clearly unsure what to do but intent on staying with her and comforting her as best she can. Catra can’t help but bristle when she hears Bow and Glimmer’s voices approaching. They burst in unceremoniously, used to coming and going from one another’s rooms without preamble.
“Guess who just swiped cake from the kitchen?” Glimmer sings, grinning before she stops short. “Oh, sorry. Bad time?”
Catra can only nod weakly.
“We can come back later,” Bow follows. “Or we can sit with you and eat cake still if you’d rather.”
“I don’t really know what’s better right now, to be honest,” Catra admits.
“We’ve all been there,” Glimmer smiles sadly, slowly approaching her. She and Bow sit, Glimmer on Catra’s other side, Bow across from them. He gently takes the cake from Glimmer and sets it in front of Catra.
“Cake doesn’t necessarily help when I’m upset, but it doesn’t not help either,” he offers.
“We’re around if you want to talk about it, but you don’t have to,” Glimmer nudges her with her shoulder as Adora eyes her gratefully from Catra’s other side. Catra breaks a morsel of cake off with her hands and stuffs it in her mouth, uncaring that there’s now icing under her claw. She lets Melog lick the remaining cake off her fingers.
“There’s not much to say. It’s been a year and I’m still freaking out if Adora leaves a room for two seconds or someone looks at me the wrong way. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I try to control it, it’s still in there. If anything, it’s getting worse!” she growls and Melog’s ruff flickers purple, responding to the way she’s on the edge of anger. “Sorry,” she apologizes, burying her head in her crossed arms, resting on her knees.
“Woah, it’s okay,” Glimmer murmurs. “I get it. This stuff doesn’t go away immediately. Sometimes it doesn’t go away at all.”
“Seriously?” Catra starts, panicked, looking up from her arms.
“No, no, not like that,” Glimmer puts her hands up, disarming. “It’s not always going to be this tough. What I mean is I think you’re being way too hard on yourself.”
Catra grumbles, unconvinced.
“If things were better when we were traveling around, maybe you should take a little vacation. Plumeria is beautiful this time of year,” Bow suggests.
“Why, so Perfuma can try to make me meditate with her?” Catra mutters.
“No, even though that’s not a bad idea,” he answers.
“It feels like that’s just running away,” she sighs, picking up another chunk of cake with the hand Melog isn’t currently cleaning.
“Not if it helps you,” Glimmer shakes her head. “Everyone needs breaks.”
Adora merely runs her fingers through Catra’s hair.
“You don’t have to do any of those things,” Bow tells her. “We’re just suggesting stuff in case something sounds like it’ll help.”
“Thanks,” she mumbles, still picking at the cake. Adora reaches past her to grab some unceremoniously in her fist.
“Also? I think Bow’s wrong,” Glimmer cuts in and Bow looks at her, jaw dropped and eyes wide.
“What?” he asks, dumbfounded.
“Cake totally helps,” she giggles, delicately reaching for some too and Bow deflates, relieved. Catra gives them a feeble smile.
Glimmer and Bow leave them after a little while, though not before making them both swear they’re alright. They move to the bed they share, Adora pulling Catra to her and Melog curling around their feet. Adora isn’t saying anything, but Catra can tell between the way she clings to her and looks at her with wide eyes that she’s unbearably worried.
“It’s okay, Adora,” she murmurs, trying to reassure her.
“It’s not if you’re not okay,” she pleads, sighing deeply.
Catra rests against her for a moment before she says anything else.
“I think maybe going to Plumeria isn’t a bad idea,” she sputters, so quiet she’s not sure Adora will even hear her.
“Really?” she pulls back to get a better look at her. “W-whatever you need, we can leave tomorrow-”
“Chill, Adora,” smiles, both affectionate and still unsettled. “Tomorrow is fine or the next day or even a week from now. Just don’t stay up all night planning it, it’s fine.”
“I wasn’t-”
“Don’t act like you weren’t going to go make some dumb packing list or figure out which way the wind’s blowing or something.”
Adora goes bright red but relaxes, even so, resting her chin gently on top of Catra’s head.
“Fine,” she answers into Catra’s hair. “But tomorrow all bets are off.”
Catra just hums in reply, drifting off to sleep.
By the time she wakes again, Adora has been up for hours, meticulously packing and debating the pros and cons of each route to Plumeria.
“So I’m all packed up and you’re mostly there. You just have to take a look to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. Word’s been sent to Perfuma so she’s expecting us. We can take Swift Wind, that’s obviously the faster route, but I know you hate flying. The other option is on foot, which will take a day or so so we’ll have to camp out-” she starts as soon as Catra opens her eyes.
“Adora, slow down,” she groans. “I’ve never been there, but I’m pretty sure Plumeria isn’t going anywhere.”
“Sorry,” she smiles briefly before she looks at the floor, picking at her cuticles.
Catra extricates herself from the tangle of sheets and Melog’s splayed limbs, padding over to Adora. She cups her cheek gently.
“It’s okay. I know you’re incurably like this and I’m glad you care. Even if it’s a lot to wake up to,” she tells her, still blinking sleep out of her eyes.
Catra manages to get Adora to eat breakfast before they’re off, leaving with hugs and well-wishes from Glimmer and Bow. Catra refuses to entertain the idea of flying. She says it’s because she wants to take Melog, which is partially true, but she also doesn’t want to admit that she doesn’t trust flying on Swift Wind just yet.
“I’m just saying, I could’ve flown us there in no time,” Swift Wind complains. Adora pinches his ear from where she rides on his back. Catra’s atop Melog, who slinks next to Swift Wind with trepidation.
“Swifty, Catra doesn’t want to fly and this whole trip is kind of about her,” she admonishes and he rolls his eyes. He hasn’t warmed up to Catra completely yet. They tolerate one another to a point, but he’s protective of Adora and hasn’t forgiven Catra as readily as the others.
“I think it’s because you don’t trust me,” he sniffs at Catra, tossing his head.
“Swift Wind,” Adora warns.
“You don’t trust me either,” Catra points out. “Seems like it’s easier on everyone to avoid being thousands of feet in the air with each other.”
“And your steed is slow,” he tells Catra and Melog bristles, baring their teeth.
“Swift Wind!” Adora barks, losing her patience. “Don’t make me turn you around!”
“You wouldn’t,” he narrows his eyes at Adora. “You wouldn’t deprive me of unlimited apples in Plumeria.”
“I would,” she answers. “So be nice.”
He grumbles but keeps plodding on, grudgingly keeping pace with Melog.
“Why are we going, again?” he asks. Adora looks at Catra, hesitant. She gives her a small nod to let Adora know she can tell him.
“Catra’s actually having a bit of a hard time right now,” she explains. “We’re hoping that maybe this trip might help her.”
Swift Wind pins his ears.
“Sorry,” he winces, apologetic, lowering his head a little to look at Catra.
“It doesn’t matter, we don’t have to be best friends,” she answers.
“It would be nice if you were,” Adora cuts in. “Or if you would at least try to be civil to each other.”
“Sorry,” they both answer and they’re both silent after that.
They stop for the night in the middle of the Whispering Woods, a place Adora is familiar with.
“We stopped here on one of our first trips together,” she chatters, clearly excited to be able to show Catra too. It’s a nondescript clearing, but it’s special to Adora, so Catra lets her talk, happy for something to distract her. “Honestly I found being out here a little more helpful than Mystacor.”
“Yeah, I’ve only been to Mystacor once and it wasn’t a good time,” Catra answers, unable to forget Adora’s taking the failsafe into her chest, how Catra couldn’t stop her, the unnatural glow just at her breastbone.
“It wasn’t for me, either. Both times were pretty rough,” Adora murmurs, quiet. “I’m sorry. I know it still bothers you.”
“It shouldn’t. It’s all over, anyway.”
“Shouldn’t doesn’t really matter if it still upsets you.”
“I’m trying really hard not to be upset about it, so it would really help if we could drop it,” Catra answers through gritted teeth.
“Okay. I think dropping it isn’t going to work forever, though.”
“Adora,” Catra pleads.
“I’ll stop,” she concedes, clearly frustrated but trying to soften it.
“Thank you,” Catra mutters. “I’m not at my best right now and I just really don’t want to have a fight out here of all places.”
Adora nods, understanding. It would be a bit too familiar, an argument in these woods still healing from their bitter war against one another that scarred it in the first place.
Catra curls up next to her and Adora puts her arms around her, her embrace warm and safe the way it's always felt. Catra rests her ear over her heart and the steady beat of it eases the roiling in her own.
Catra doesn't remember falling asleep. She wakes surrounded by soft warmth. Adora is snoring gently, facing her. She looks peaceful for once, face relaxed instead of mildly tense, not even thrashing about in her sleep.
Catra blinks, disoriented. There's light, but it's dampened. She realizes they're leaning on Swift Wind's side, his wing folded over them like a shield. She can feel Melog at their feet, guarding the little space between the horse's wing and the ground.
Catra rests and watches Adora for a moment in the filtered light, the easy rise and fall of her chest. It’s short-lived, though, as Adora’s jaw clenches hard enough that Catra can hear her teeth grind and she twitches. Catra laces her fingers with hers before she can start jerking around.
“Adora,” she calls her name to wake her, but her voice is joined by Swift Wind’s who notices the disturbance at the same time Catra does. He lifts his wing to investigate.
“Oh, you’re up,” he comments, startled, but Catra ignores him in favor of getting Adora to wake up before she punches one of them on accident.
“Adora, wake up,” she tells her, firm but gentle, steadying Adora’s hands as she tries to shove her away. “It’s just me.”
Adora’s thrashing slows before she opens her eyes, squinting in the light streaming through the canopy of trees.
“Sorry.”
She’s barely conscious and already apologizing, cheeks flushed.
“Stop apologizing. You’ve sleep-fought your entire life, I knew what I was getting into when we got together,” Catra teases hoping to lighten the mood. Adora smiles, hesitant and clearly still halfway into whatever nightmare she’s awoken from.
Swift Wind averts his eyes quickly, something between guilt and embarrassment evident on his face. Melog just stretches and purrs, rubbing Adora’s leg with their head.
They absently eat, Catra mostly picking at her food and Adora wolfing hers down, barely chewing before they continue. The rest of the trip to Plumeria is near-silent, though Adora shoots soft and concerned smiles to Catra from time-to-time and Catra tickles her hand with her tail in answer.
It’s sunset when they reach Plumeria and Catra takes it in, wide-eyed and hushed. There are flowers absolutely everywhere in every shade, though pink might be the most common. The sun is warm and glowing in open areas, the shade cool and fragrant with the scent of blossoms and grass.
“Pretty, isn’t it?” Adora smiles, watching her.
“Yeah,” Catra mutters, taking in the friendly smiling and waving from everyone they pass. She bristles under all the attention but tries to rein it in. Melog’s fur stands on end.
“Why is everyone,” she gestures around them, unable to put it into words.
“Oh, that’s just Plumeria. People here are really friendly,” Adora waves her hand, dismissive. “It freaked me out a little at first too, but it’s okay.”
“It’s weird,” Catra huffs.
“It’s fine once you get used to it. Don’t worry about it too much, they’re just trying to be polite.”
Perfuma rushes out to meet them at the base of the Heart Blossom tree, grinning. She wraps her arms around Catra first as Adora dismounts.
“I’m so happy you two decided to visit! It’s a beautiful time of year. Restful and energizing at the same time,” she sighs, squeezing Catra lightly and she tries not to stiffen too much. She’s still unsure what to do with affection like this, the kind that the others seem so used to. Catra sighs when she releases her and goes to hug Adora, who returns it eagerly.
“Thank you for having us on such short notice-” Adora starts and Perfuma shakes her head.
“I wouldn’t have cared if you showed up out of the blue! Spontaneity is lovely.”
Adora opens and closes her mouth and Catra stifles a chuckle. Perfuma is fighting a losing battle. There isn’t a spontaneous bone in Adora’s body.
“Come, come! I’m sure you’re hungry after your journey,” she grabs Adora’s hand and pulls her along and they all follow into a large tent. There are quite a few people there she doesn’t recognize, sitting on cushions on the floor around a large meal at the centre. Catra freezes at the entrance when she spots Scorpia among them. She waves brightly, patting two empty cushions beside her as Perfuma settles on her other side. Catra reluctantly follows Adora to sit next to her.
Catra is still unsure how to handle Scorpia. The few times she’s seen her in the last year, she’s always brushed off her apologies with assurances of forgiveness and hugs. But they haven’t spoken more than a few words to one another since and it gives Catra a terrible sense of things unresolved and unspoken. If Scorpia feels the same, she doesn’t let on.
True to every interaction Catra’s had with her since joining the Rebellion, Scorpia unabashedly pulls her into a hug the moment she’s within reach. She yanks Adora in too, who gives a strangled yelp.
“Come here, you two! Gosh, it’s been too long. How’ve you been? Tell me everything-”
Perfuma giggles and puts a hand on her shoulder and Scorpia lets them go, carefully setting them down on the cushions next to her.
“Sorry, you’re probably hungry. But after that we have so much catching up to do-”
Catra can’t sleep that night. She tries, nestled in a small tent with Adora, the soft chirr of wildlife outside and her quiet breath comforting but not enough to lull her to sleep.
After hours of restlessness, Catra abandons sleep and decides to explore instead. Melog chirps when she sits up, stretching and following her outside. Swift Wind raises his head at the sound.
“I can’t sleep. I’m just going to take a walk,” she explains.
“Oh. I hope you feel better,” he answers, the attempt at camaraderie stilted but there all the same.
“Thanks,” she mutters.
Plumeria at night is as alive as it is during the day. The flowers have curled in on themselves for the night, but the buzz of night insects is almost deafening. Plants with broad leaves that Catra overlooked during the day’s blooms emit a strange glow in stripes along the patterns of their veins. The Heart Blossom casts a faint pink gleam onto everything around it.
Not everyone is asleep, either, even this late. Some tents are dark, but others have the yellow flicker of lanterns showing through. At others, people lounge outside by small fires, talking or singing. Catra clambers up the nearest tree, Melog trailing her, skirting along the branches at the edges of Plumeria’s clearings, taking in the intermittent light of life among the trees.
She pauses when she spots Scorpia alone in one of the little clearings, more isolated from the main cluster of people and tents than most. She has no fire, only a small lantern. Catra slinks through the trees toward her, silent. She sits with her legs crossed and her claws resting on her knees, face alternating between troubled and relaxed.
She’s never seen Scorpia quite like this. She’s normally so frantic, always smiling or laughing, hurriedly trying to make others feel better. She’s always seemed a little too perfectly altruistic to Catra and it’s gratifying to get to watch her, quiet, at peace and conflicted in turn.
Guilt quickly follows, though. Catra has suspected that her quick forgiveness was too good to be true. Whether her distress has anything to do with Catra, she’s unsure, but it’s too easy for Catra to make that conclusion.
She fights the urge to go disturb her. She wants to talk to her, but she isn’t sure her presence is wanted right now. After a while of watching her, she turns to leave. As she does so, the branch she’s resting on cracks, nearly dislodging her. She and Melog avoid tumbling to the clearing below, but it’s enough to alert Scorpia of their presence.
“Who’s there?” she peers into the trees, squinting. “Catra?”
Catra resists the urge to curse under her breath.
“Yeah, it’s me,” she admits, dropping down into the clearing. Melog clambers down after her.
“What were you doing up there?” Scorpia asks, laughing.
“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep so I just started walking around. I saw you but I wasn’t sure if I should interrupt-”
“Of course you can interrupt!” she crows, grinning. She sits down and pats the grass next to her. Catra joins her and Melog sits dutifully at her right. “I couldn’t sleep either, we might as well be awake together.”
“Thanks,” Catra tells her, still feeling as if she shouldn’t be here. “What were you doing?”
“Meditating. It helps sometimes if I can’t sleep. You should try sometime!”
“Yeah, maybe. I don’t know how, though-”
“Perfuma can teach you! She taught me. I’d try to teach you myself, but I get my wires crossed sometimes when I try to do it by myself, so-” she rubs the back of her neck, nervous.
“Does it really help? You looked a little-” Catra trails off, afraid to finish her sentence.
“Upset?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Yeah. It helps me work through stuff when I’m upset,” she answers, still smiling but in a way that grows more melancholy by the second.
“Can I ask what you were upset about?”
“It’s not really one thing. Lots of little things,” she stutters, uneasy in a way that clinches Catra’s suspicion that she isn’t as unaffected as she seems.
“If it’s about me, you can say it,” Catra tells her, quiet, wondering if she should. Scorpia startles, as transparent as always. It is about Catra, at least in part.
“It’s not just you-” she shakes her head.
“But I’m in there. I know that.”
Scorpia doesn’t answer. She just stares out at the clearing, biting her lip.
“Yeah,” she nods weakly. They sit in an uncomfortable silence for a moment before Catra continues.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anytime!” she answers, quick, a ghost of her usual energy coming back.
“Why don’t you let me apologize to you? Every time I try, you cut me off,” Catra mutters. “I don’t get it.”
“I already know you’re sorry.”
“How?”
Scorpia smiles sadly.
“Everything. The way you act, the way you speak to everyone,” she murmurs. “The way you keep trying to apologize even though I already know. Even the way you hold yourself.”
“You can’t tell me that’s enough,” Catra argues. “I hurt pretty much everyone, but I know I really hurt you. You were there for me when no one else was and I threw it in your face. I feel like out of everyone, you’re the one who would want to hear me apologize. I don’t get it, it’s like you’re not even hurt-”
“That’s not true,” Scorpia shakes her head and Catra can hardly breathe, finally getting to see her expression falter. “You did hurt me. I’m still hurt in a lot of ways. But I don’t need to remind you of that.”
“Why?”
“It’s not as helpful as you might think. I feel like you already know that, even if you don’t realize it.”
Catra sits with that for a moment.
“I hope I’m not being presumptuous here, but you and Adora hurt each other pretty bad, right?”
“Obviously,” she answers, defeated.
“Does she remind you of every little thing you did?”
Catra shakes her head.
“We don’t need to. It’s...there. Not all the time, but it’s not like either one of us is forgetting any of that mess any time soon.”
“Right. And would it make you feel better to remind her of the things she did that hurt you?”
“No,” Catra answers, instant. “It’d just bring it all back and make me feel worse."
“Yeah. If you were still hurting me, I’d tell you. And I wouldn’t be around you like this. But reliving every second of it doesn’t help me and I bet it doesn’t help you, either, does it?”
“No,” Catra shakes her head. “I just wanted to hear from you that you weren’t...I don’t know.”
“That I wasn’t what? It’s okay,” Scorpia reassures her.
“Maybe acting like you were fine so you didn’t hurt my feelings and not taking care of yourself,” Catra grumbles, looking at the ground and hoping the remark isn’t too pointed. But Scorpia doesn’t seem upset. Instead, she smiles brightly.
“You’re on your way to being a good friend,” she reaches to pull Catra to her, squeezing her tightly before releasing her. “I did do a lot of that before. I’ve always been bad at putting myself first. But that’s part of why I don’t need to keep reminding you, not when you’re trying to do better. I know how I feel and I’m paying attention to it now. I’m trying to remember that how I feel is as important as how everyone else feels.”
Catra nods, reassured, though not completely comforted.
“I’m sorry still, though,” she tells her and for once Scorpia doesn’t interrupt. She nods.
“Thank you,” she says, accepting it even as it appears difficult for her. They sit together for a moment in a silence that’s easier than it was just a few moments ago. “Can I ask you something too?” Scorpia asks, surprising Catra.
“Sure,” she shrugs. “Go for it.”
“Why are you in Plumeria? Not that you’re not welcome, we’re glad you’re here-”
“No, it’s okay,” Catra shakes her head, sighing deeply. “Things have been a little rough for me lately. We thought maybe a break would help, but I don’t know.”
“Yeah, I got that from you,” Scorpia looks at her with the same overwhelming concern she always has. “You don’t look good, Wildcat.”
Catra flinches at the nickname and Melog licks their shoulder, agitated.
“I’m not,” she admits, even as it’s painful to say it. “I don’t get that, either. I was fine when we were going all over the galaxy and then we get back here and I’m a mess-”
“Sometimes stuff hits later. Maybe going all around just distracted you and all this was still there,” Scorpia tells her, gentle, nudging her affectionately with her claw.
Catra just grumbles, pulling her knees to her chest as Melog curls around her, protective.
“I’m sorry things are hard right now,” Scorpia offers.
“Thanks. You said meditating helps?” she asks, hesitant.
“For me, yeah. I can’t promise it’ll do the same for you. But it doesn’t hurt to try. If it doesn’t work, you’re no worse off.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Want me to talk to Perfuma about it?”
“You shouldn’t have to do that for me-”
“I don’t mind. Sometimes the extra push helps me. If it helps you, I’d be glad to do it.”
“Thanks,” she nods, relenting. “That would actually be nice.”
“Done,” Scorpia smiles and Catra returns it, feeble but thankful at the same time. Melog, now relaxed, pads up to Scorpia, circling her and rubbing her affectionately. She giggles.
“Woah, hey there, buddy. You’re so darn cute, look at you.”
Melog purrs for a moment before straightening, alert, and taking off into the thicket behind them.
“Was it something I said?” Scorpia holds a claw over her mouth, worried.
“Doubt it. They probably hear something,” Catra listens intently for it before she catches it too. It’s Adora, voice faint but calling out for Catra, looking for her.
“Catra? Catra-”
Melog catches up to her, cutting off her search.
“Oh, Melog,” she can hear her relax a little at the sight of them as she tramps through the underbrush at the edge of the clearing.
“Catra,” she sighs, relieved when she catches sight of them, still in her nightclothes.
“I’m okay,” she reassures her. “I just couldn’t sleep.”
“You should’ve woken me up-” she answers, eyes wide with concern before she notices Scorpia. “Oh, Scorpia. Hi, sorry, I didn’t realize you were with her. Thank you for sitting with her-”
“Not a problem, I was awake too.”
Adora gives her a thankful and reassured smile before turning to look at Catra again.
“Do you want to stay out here or come back to bed?”
“I should probably try and sleep,” she answers, stretching and standing. “Thanks for talking with me,” she looks at Scorpia, smiling shyly at her.
“Anytime,” she nods, waving at her as she goes to join Adora and Melog.
“How was catching up with Scorpia?” Adora asks as they meander back to their tent, hand-in-hand.
“Good. A little more than a catch-up, though.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I actually asked her why she wouldn’t let me say sorry to her-”
“Seriously?” Adora starts, wide-eyed, well aware of how badly it’s bothered Catra. “What did she say?”
“Mostly that it wasn’t really helpful. For her or me. She did let me say it after, though.”
“Wow. You two had a really good talk, then,” she grins, nudging her shoulder gently.
“Yeah. I may have also asked her to talk to Perfuma about meditating,” she mumbles, barely audible, but the grin Adora gives her makes it clear she heard it loud and clear.
“Catra, that’s amazing,” she beams, squeezing her hand. “I’m proud of you.”
“Ugh, stop,” Catra groans, but she’s fighting a smile as she does it. Adora giggles and pulls her close, peppering her with kisses on her cheek close to her ear.
“No,” Adora answers, soft, with a smile that Catra can hear in her voice. They take a long way back to their tent, happy to be aimless for a little while until Catra starts to yawn. Even so, they sit for a little while outside, watching the sky until the stars fade into the dewy gray of morning.