Chapter Text
Piers moving in was one of the best things that had ever happened to Leon.
With Piers around, he ate healthier, he slept better, and he even noticed he’d started doing better at the Battle Tower. As far as Leon was concerned, things were damn near perfect now that he and his boyfriend lived together.
Aside from a small, growing anxiety.
There was one serious conversation he’d been putting off having with Piers. It was something potentially life-changing, hopefully for the better but quite possibly for the worse depending on how Piers reacted to it. And Leon, of course, was never good at timing these things, so he found himself working up the nerve to ask his boyfriend a question as they sat on the couch together, Piers asleep on Leon’s shoulder. They’d been watching a movie, but Piers had fallen asleep before it ended and Leon had watched the last 13 or 14 minutes of the movie by himself.
Leon had to wake Piers up before he lost his courage. He nudged him, whispering, “Piers?”
“Hm?” Piers grunted, stirring. “Oh, I fell asleep.” He adjusted himself, and Leon thought for a second that he might get off the couch, but instead, Piers scooted closer, wrapping his arms around Leon’s arm and resting his head back on Leon’s shoulder. “How did the movie end? Did they win?” His voice was breathy, lethargic.
Perhaps out of habit or perhaps to try and calm himself, Leon ran his free hand through Piers’s thick, coarse hair. “No, they came in last place.” He was still whispering, even though they were alone in the condo.
“Aw. That sucks,” Piers murmured, clearly still half asleep.
Leon could tell that Piers could fall back asleep at any second. If he didn’t act now, then he might permanently lose his nerve and this conversation might never happen. “Hey Piers?” he said, not quite whispering anymore.
“Hm?”
“Can you tell me about your transition?” The words spilled out. They had to, or they would’ve gotten stuck inside him. Was it the best way to bring this up? Maybe not, but is there a best way?
Piers sat up straighter, still holding Leon’s arm but no longer putting any weight on him. “Sure, love. What do ya wanna know?
“Like, uh, when did you know you were trans?”
“Hard to say,” Piers replied, lazily playing with a lock of Leon’s hair. Fuck, he was cute when he was sleepy. “It kinda happened… like, little by little, and then all at once. If that makes sense.”
It didn’t.
Piers continued. “I’d say it started after my parents died. Things were hard, y’know? I was twelve at the time, so I was startin’ to go through puberty and shite, and without parents around to help me learn who and what I was, I had to figure it out on me own. Plus I was takin’ care of Marnie, who was still a baby. I guess that’s a different story, though.” His fingers lost interest in Leon’s hair and moved to his beard. Leon wanted to kiss those fingers that stroked his beard, but he didn’t. He just let them innocently wander and feel.
“So, puberty made you dysphoric?” Leon pressed, trying to make sure Piers would stay awake through his own story.
“Aye. Every day I’d wake up hatin’ the way I looked even more than the day before. They told me it was normal and that I’d grow out of it, but even back then, I knew they were wrong. I knew this wasn’t normal ‘cause I wasn’t treated normal. I wore baggy clothes to hide my body, and between the way I dressed and the way I acted, everyone treated me like I was gay.” The hand on Leon’s beard moved to rest on his thigh as Piers snickered wearily. “Turns out I was gay, just not in the way everyone thought I was. Things just kinda snapped into place one day when I realized I’m not a straight girl, I’m a gay man.”
Gay. That was a word Piers used to describe himself often, and it was part of the reason why Leon was so damn nervous right now. He had to ask about it. “So, you’re… gay, right? Like, gay gay?”
Releasing their interlocked arms, Piers tilted his head to look quizzically at Leon’s face. “…Aye?”
Leon swallowed. His throat went dry. “So, you only like men?”
Piers narrowed his eyes at Leon. “Aye.”
“Would you, uh…” Leon coughed. “Would you not like me if I weren’t a man?” Like earlier, the words spilled out clumsily. This wasn’t how he’d imagined the conversation going, but it had to happen now, or it never would.
“Like, if you were a woman?”
“Yeah, or… something else.”
The thought had obviously never crossed Piers’s mind, because he took a moment to think about it, his pretty, pale face scrunching up as his green eyes darted upwards and side to side.
Leon tried not to hyperventilate.
Finally, Piers said, “Well, lots of people have exceptions. I guess if ya weren’t a man, then I’d be gay, but you’d be my exception.”
Piers’s words came out matter-of-factly, but he clearly didn’t understand the relief it brought Leon. Leon was so caught up in relief, in fact, that he nearly missed the question Piers asked him.
“Why’re ya askin’ me all these questions about my gender and sexuality?” he asked.
“Um. Well…” Leon stammered, then more word-spillage came. “I think I might be non-binary,” he said as fast as he could. He held his breath.
He’d never said it out loud before. Not to Raihan, not to Hop, not even to his own reflection. It felt weirdly good to say it out loud, releasing pressure like the opening of a beer can. How many times had Leon looked in the mirror and thought that something felt off? How many nights had he laid awake next to his sleeping boyfriend and wondered if he might not be what Piers had expected?
Though he might not hate the way he looked, there were times when he wished he looked different. And he’d realized recently that even his questionable fashion sense was a symptom of his dysphoria – he didn’t want to dress like “other men” because he literally was not like them. He wanted to wear crop tops and rompers, maybe even the occasional skirt or dress. He wanted to be cute. He wanted to be pretty.
He’d pushed those thoughts down for a while, feeling an anxiety that the thoughts might be wrong or that his loved ones wouldn’t like him as much if he were a “they” or a “he/they,” but the thoughts had only persisted and gotten stronger until he realized that he’d been keeping these feelings – this reality – a secret from the man he loved.
Leon continued holding his breath as he tried to decipher Piers’s reaction to this news. Piers’s eyes widened for a moment, but other than that, he was unreadable. “Oh.” Taking Leon’s face into his hands, Piers finally cracked a smile. “Congrats, love. Figurin’ that out isn’t easy, and comin’ out can be even harder.” With that, he kissed Leon on the lips. It was a normal, gentle kiss – Piers still loved them the same. Fuck, they could cry.
“You’re okay with it, then? Me being non-binary?” Leon asked, speaking against Piers’s lips.
“Of course. Just tell me how to refer to you and how you like to fuck.” He kissed Leon again. “You’re still my lover. That’s not gonna change.”
Later that night, Leon and Piers made love. It was some of the best sex Leon had had in recent memory, and they were sure it was because of this new confidence Piers had helped them gain. It was both energizing and comforting. When the two lay in bed afterwards, holding each other and drifting towards sleep, Leon asked Piers one more question. “Do you still feel dysphoric sometimes?” they asked him.
Piers was still panting slightly. “Sometimes, but it’s not nearly as bad as it used to be.” He kissed Leon’s shoulder. “Also helps that I’m gettin’ dicked down on the regular.” He chuckled, and Leon thought he might say something else until they heard his breathing fade into light snoring.
Leon had no idea how they deserved a guy like Piers.