Chapter Text
Sometimes Shuichi wonders what the hell he did in his past life to deserve the things he’s gone through. Being stuck in this academy, being spoon fed his own memories, seeing those he cares for die time after time, and having to condemn the ones who did it that he doesn’t care about any less than those who are lost.
Saving everyone’s ass time and time again in those class trials and, somehow, being seen as the bad guy. Having to hear his friends yell accusations like, “What, you want to suspect him?” and “C’mon don’t you believe in me?” is getting so sickeningly bitter that he can’t even force himself to argue anymore.
‘No, I don’t want to suspect you,’ he thinks to himself late at night staring at his ceiling, ‘I have to.’
It’s only when Kaito smacks his back so hard he jolts or when Maki picks him up for training most nights that Shuichi is forcefully reminded that he isn’t the bad guy.
It isn’t until now that it truly hits him that if he doesn’t do the things he does his two favorite people in the world wouldn’t be here with him laying out in the grass. He’s tired, uneven breaths rattling his chest as he lays flat out on the grass, tickling his face and fingers. It’s cold out tonight and it burns his lungs as he breathes in, but he relishes in the feeling.
His fingertips brush against Kaito’s bare wrist and Maki’s breath fans across his face as she rolls to her side to face the boys. Shuichi feels amazing in this moment, high on the two people he loves the most in the world being so close and the adrenaline of his workout.
If he closes his eyes he can almost imagine what it would feel like if Maki just leaned over and rested her chin against his shoulder or if Kaito gripped his fingers between his own or, god have mercy , if they both did it at the same time.
And he loves them, even with their distance from him, loves them so much that it just hurts.
He closes his eyes, a small smile on his face as the wind brushes across his chilled face, and he feels so at peace with the world around him. There may be a killing game going on, he may have lost the first person he’s ever loved to it, but in this moment he’s okay.
He hopes Kaede is looking down on him in this moment and feels as happy for him as he feels.
“I love you,” Maki mumbles and Shuichi’s eyes open up wide. He feels like he’s lagging with how hard he’s trying to process the moment at hand.
Who was she talking to? She couldn’t have possibly meant him, right? Or maybe this is the moment he’s been dreaming of, where she tells them that she loves them both and they live happily ever after-
“I love you too,” Kaito echoes and Shuichi’s entire world crumbles beneath his feet.
How could he ever think that they could love him or that’d they would ever want something like that? He’s foolish to ever even think that he had the option of being with both of them, that they would want him when they could just have each other.
He can’t even blame them, they’re both infinitely better than he is. Maki is one of the prettiest girls he’s ever seen and so insanely strong, Kaito is boisterous and confident and-
He feels like he can’t breathe.
“O-oh sorry, I’ll just-“ Shuichi doesn’t even bother to finish his sentence as he scrambles off the ground, half embarrassed he ruined their moment and half worried tears were going to come falling down his face any second now.
He turns and gets ready to bolt across the courtyard on shaky legs, hoping to make it to his room before the tears fall.
“Where are you going bro?” Kaito calls out, voice questioning and Shuichi contemplates not answering and bolting.
“I don’t want to ruin your, uh, moment.” Shuichi awkwardly says, his eyes not meeting Kaito’s even as he looks back at the two people he loves. They’re sitting up now, but that’s as much as he can tell with his eyes firmly trained on the ground between them where he had just been laying.
“The moment includes you too, idiot.” Maki says, her words harsh but her tone soft. Shuichi’s eyes jolt up to her face before he can even think, surprise hitting him like a shockwave.
She’s giving him one of her rare smiles, cheeks softly flushed pink in a way Shuichi never expected of her. His eyes hesitantly wander to Kaito’s face to see if he shared the sentiment and found him staring at him with such a soft expression the boy felt as if he could melt.
“C’mon man, you’re both my sidekicks, my two for one special.” Kaito says, hand held out for Shuichi to take. The detective’s entire face is hot now, his hand covering his mouth doing nothing to hide the pink dusting his cheeks. His free hand finds Kaito’s and then he’s gently pulled to sit down between the two of them.
Kaito’s hand grasping his own lets him go and Shuichi doesn’t even have time to mourn the loss of contact before the taller boy is wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in to hold him. With Kaito’s arm wrapped around both Shuichi’s shoulders he’s given no option but to curl in on Kaito, his face resting in the place between his shoulder and chest. As soon as Shuichi rests against Kaito, he slides his arm from his shoulder to around his waist. Butterflies erupt in Shuichi’s chest and he turns to press his nose against him to hide his deepening blush, letting his hand fall from his face.
It’s more than he’s dared to ever think about. He let himself fantasize about holding hands or fleeting hugs and murmured love confession, but never let himself think further than that in fear of breaking his own heart.
“Don’t hog him.” Maki says firmly and Shuichi nearly jumps as the girl ducks under his arm. In a gentle way Shuichi never expected to come from Maki, she tucks her chin softly against the side of his neck, her nose gently brushing his jaw as she rests her face against his own. Albeit hesitantly, Shuichi mimics Kaito and wraps his arm around Maki’s waist.
“Wasn’t my intention Maki Roll.” Kaito retorts, his free hand finding Maki’s over Shuichi’s body, intertwining their fingers.
Shuichi feels warm between the two of them, butterflies storming around in his stomach like preparing to take flight and take off with him.
“Is this okay?” Maki asks, her breath ghosting his cheek.
“Perfect, I love you both,” Shuichi breathes out and he’s never meant anything more in his life.