Work Text:
Q remained silent as they sat next to Dazai, expression solemn. Sometimes they fidgetted with their doll or threw small glances at some members that promptly stared back which forced them to shrink back and huddle closer to Dazai, clutching at his coat.
It was an unusual sight to see Dazai with a child, never mind Q. Everyone was convinced that both of them hated each other because of their shared history. No one had a clue as to what happened but still, it was all tense and rather awkward when everyone had become hushed upon noticing that the child had been dropped off here once again, possibly by Chuuya.
New people had made Q freeze up the first day, looking here and there until they noticed Dazai, behind his desk and writing a report with an unreadable expression that was used for things that he probably didn’t care about. They all but toddled there hurriedly, making their way to his side and shuffling awkwardly. Their presence did not go unnoticed by Daza and he turned. His eyes made their way to the culprit’s face, expression slightly changing into one of curiosity and confusion, but he noticed the way Q was trembling, eyes fixated on the ADA crowded not so far away.
Q did not like crowds, and Dazai knew this, deciding to all but scoop them up and set them down on an empty chair next to him, making sure that it was close enough for Q’s comfort. Their tense shoulders had dropped eventually as the day seemed to crawl on but they had clung on to Dazai for the whole day, following him around whenever he seemed to make small trips, from room to room for various reasons. They hadn’t completely relaxed though, throwing defensive looks at anyone who stared at them for far too long.
Dazai soon finished a few reports but had frowned when he realized that it was getting late. He had calmly looked down at the small child that was standing to his side, looking down at the ground with unfocused eyes. They hadn’t eaten for the whole day, but not once had they complained or told anyone. His eyes narrowed when they swayed a bit but steadied themselves immediately as if dozing off for a second and waking up the next in surprise and flinching.
Dazai had no experience in taking care of a kid, he never knew what he was supposed to do and given that Q was...well Q.
“Are you tired?”
There was a small intake of breath from them. It was the first time they had spoken in a while.
“No.” They say rather flatly but Dazai is already aware of their faint drowsiness. Chuuya hadn’t returned for Q, and he silently cursed the redhead for dumping the kid on him with no warning. He didn’t know what else to do, and so he began to pack up, ready to leave for the day and Q stood there, awkwardly watching.
Only once he shut the door and began walking down the steps did he hear the door open again, pausing once hearing small footsteps behind him which were undoubtedly Q's. He allowed them to follow him until they reached a small cafe. They looked confused for a moment, reaching for his coat again before promptly snatching their hand back, probably getting nervous as the cafe began to slowly crowd.
He ordered curry and rice for them, which made Q perk up, slowly but surely, dark eyes locking onto his, which he ignored after a split second, breaking the eye contact. It was served a while later, the waitress apologizing for the wait before setting down the plate which was decorated. Q stared at it for a few seconds, Dazai noticing them looking pleased. He reached out, handing them a spoon, they chose to stare at his hand for a second before hesitantly reaching out and snatching it. He smiled a bit at that and watched as they began to mix the rice and curry together slowly with the spoon before beginning to eat. They were a slow eater, he noticed as they looked around ever so often, getting distracted by a variety of things. The lights hanging above them were dim, decorated with fake vines to give it a natural look. They touched it once before frowning at the plastic, losing interest in the fake decorations rather quickly and turning around.
Their food was eaten about a quarter though before they began to push it around on their plate. Their fidgeting stopped suddenly and he looked at the small stand Q happened to be staring at. Crepes. Now that he thought about it, Q hadn’t ever eaten sweets before, being locked up and he sighed as he thought of the past. He certainly didn’t want to act like that anymore, but he didn’t know how to make it up to them, as they were already wary of him enough. The longing and curiosity in those dark eyes needed to be quenched and Dazai didn’t think they’ve ever eaten anything sweet before, remembering the small bland meals that hardly counted as such. Q left a few bits of his meal on the plate but Dazai deemed it good enough and stood up and headed toward the door, Q hot on his heels.
Dazai didn’t bother thinking but reached out and gently held their hand. They froze and only then did he realize what he did. They stiffened but relaxed when realizing that he wasn’t going to do anything else. They squeezed his hand back, and only then did he notice how small their hands were, soft, as any child’s should be but some smooth skin was more or so likely scars, a bit bumpy.
Dazai headed toward the small stand of crepes and Q walked faster, struggling to keep up with the pace Dazai walked at. They were too small to look at the small window to order and genuinely didn’t have a clue why they were there, rocking back and forth on their feet as Dazai ordered a crepe and paid.
It was filled with ice cream, strawberries, whipped cream, a bit of chocolate, and to top it off, two pieces of pocky that had been firmly planted inside the ice cream. Q was looking out at the ocean that was visible, the sun was setting slowly, colors of pink and purple dancing in both the sky and water, they stared at the breathtaking sight, probably deprived of this as well. Dazai allowed them to look for a few more moments before ruffling their hair which made them look up immediately and scowl.
“Ta-Da!”
He presented them the crepe, handing it to them as they grabbed the cone slowly. He smiled and waited as Q’s eyes widened. They had probably never seen it before but surely they examined it, looking a bit suspicious. They had the right to be, being dropped off here in an unknown place and forced to stick by the only person they were familiar with, who imprisoned them. But they took a small bite. A small gasp at the taste, it was probably very sweet, and Dazai thought Q should have the right to experience a dessert as any child would. The movements of their body jerked and they turned toward him, chocolate covering the side of their mouth and he knelt down to wipe it off with his sleeve. Then their mouth curved p in a small hesitant smile before they beamed, eyes lighting up and posture being very different from before. The crepe was finished hastily as some clouds began to gather and Dazai warned them of an upcoming storm.
Both linked hands and Dazai began to lead their way to his flat. A light pattern of drizzles had begun, drops of water staining the pavement in dark streaks. They walked faster now, Dazai trying this best to prevent them from getting wet. In a matter of minutes, it began to pour heavily and Q shrieked with laughter as they were soaked. A rare sight, but not fully unexpected for someone their age. It wasn’t long before they were inside and he sighed as he attempted to find something for Q to wear. Everything was too big on him, considering they were the smallest kid he’d ever encountered. He searched the closet but found nothing that was suitable for Q.
They were on the couch when he turned, looking through the window as the rain pattering on the windows in a steady rhythm. They were wet, hair damp, and yet they remained on the couch. Dazai didn’t have the energy to even try and scold them, they had just eaten the crepe and surely the memory was still fresh on their mind. Then Dazai noticed a small plastic bag on the kitchen table with folds of cloth. Must have been Chuuya. That had been proven to be true when a small piece of paper was unfolded and the note started with ‘Hey shitty Mackerel’ and proceeded to bash him with such words before hurriedly making an excuse as he could have picked anyone to babysit Q he was just closest. He smirked at the thought of Chuuya breaking into his house to leave a bag of pajamas for Q and a note. Chuuya always made a big deal when Dazai broke into his flat yet the redhead did it himself.
He left the room and went to the bathroom, filling up the tub with warm water and placing the folded pajamas on the counter of the sink. There was a more toiletry for Q there, Chuuya was obviously a mother hen when it came to children. The thought was highly amusing to him as he left the bathroom.Q had turned and was facing him when he entered the living room. He pointed toward the bathroom.
“You need to take a bath if you don’t wanna be sick.”
There was nothing else besides that said, but Q didn’t protest, getting up and heading toward it but not before shutting and locking the door. It was a content silence save for the splashing coming from the bathroom and he brought out blankets for the guest room where he decided Q would be staying. He made sure to have enough blankets as he remembered they used to fuss a lot about the cold, needing layers and layers to feel comfortable, or perhaps at ease. He made the bed, smoothing down the sheets and blankets, fluffing up the pillows. He heard the sound of the tub now draining the water and the small patter of feet. There was a rustling from the bathroom, then the sound of the sink. The door opened to reveal Q in pajamas, which were a faded baby blue and they went in and approached Dazai slowly. They examined the room for a moment, touching the covers and nodding, satisfied with the arrangements before running out of the room, reappearing a second later, doll tucked under one arm.
He smiled and ruffled their hair and they didn’t try to shake off his hand at all, and when he finally stopped they arranged themselves in the pillows and blankets until they were comfortable enough, wrapped in practically a cocoon.
“Do you want me to turn off the lights now?”
A slight pause and a reluctant nod.
“Ok..”
Their voice was small and he did regret leaving them there in the dark since it probably reminded them of their old cell. The difference was that this time it was comfortable and warm, an actual apartment. He closed their door after a “Goodnight” and walked down the hall. Reports he hadn’t done were still on the kitchen and he proceeded to sit down, grab a pen, and begin to fill them out half-heartedly. Some incidents that had been investigated this week weren’t even worth bothering to be searched. He was sure that these things weren’t even interesting enough to report but he shrugged and managed to do more than half before giving up. This was the most he had ever completed, usually ending up being distracted or just particularly being lazy. Kunikida would often scold him for this and in return, he would mess with him for revenge which was hilarious to see, panicking and losing his cool so quickly. Ah. He glanced up to look at the clock. It was getting pretty late, the windows outside already dark enough. With a sigh, he changed, not wanting to shower (no, he would do that in the morning) despite his wet clothes as he didn’t get sick easily. He brushed his teeth, making sure to not make too much noise lest he woke up Q.
The lights in the house were all off and with a sigh, he got into bed. It had been a tiring day since he let his mind wander and caring for Q wasn’t hard, but it drained most of his thoughts about other things and focused on the kid. He remained there thinking a lot most of the nights because he was alone, which was why he had little sleep, and sometimes it would be dreams of the past where he would wake up in cold sweat and just stay awake the rest, not daring to go back to sleep. It wasn’t healthy but who was there to judge him? He went fine and took short naps at the agency so he was pretty much set. But he was now, for the first time in a long time, quite actually tired. It was puzzling but he closed his eyes and managed to block out thoughts.
He didn’t let himself sleep just yet, remaining awake and staring at the ceiling. He didn’t know how much time had passed as he lay there, contemplating about Q’s mental state. When he had first lain eyes on him, he couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at them. Chuuya had of course scowled at him and stepped in front of the small kid. Q had changed quite a lot after the incident with the guild. The torture he had endured had stayed with him, haunted dull broken shaped eyes. He was quieter, rather in a sullen way but not really and he stared at Dazai, nothing visible in their eyes to hold him accountable for. Steinbeck’s torture had hurt Q, not just physically but mentally too, they just stood there, looking smaller than ever.
Dazai remembering feeling some sort of pang of guilt and pity that hadn’t been there before. Maybe it had to do with the past and how he treated them but still. He allowed them to follow him for the day and it all ended up here.
He blinked, shaking the thoughts of Q out of his head and sighed, turning on his side. His eyes now felt heavy (unusually so) but a loud crack from outside shook him out of it again. Thunder. It was to be expected. A loud boom and a flash that was bright for a second and he got up once more, went about shutting all the windows and drawing the curtains, He went to the living room which was dark and silent, save for the loud thunderstorm outside. Q was in the guest room and he managed to open the door quietly, sliding inside and shutting the windows and drawing the curtains slightly as to not make any noise. Q was asleep but they stirred for a few moments before turning on their side and becoming quiet again. The need to check up on everything was unnerving and he knew it was annoying him deeply but couldn’t help himself as he finally lay in bed again.
It was comfortable and warm and he felt a rush of how much he missed this, sleeping. Such a nice feeling of drifting away. He closed his eyes and let himself relax for a few moments. The darkness was welcoming to him. He felt himself doze off and soon enough it was quiet.
* * *
He awoke to loud muffled cries. He was drowsy but he became quickly aware of it and where it came from. He sat up but the door to the room swung open and in came Q. They stood there for a moment, teary-eyed, and shaking. A small sob escaped them and then they hesitantly approached him. Dazai knew that look and he was sure it had been a nightmare. He had no experience in comforting anyone but Q was already heading toward him but even they had no clue what they wanted or how to obtain it. Broken shaped eyes filled with more tears but Dazai held out his arms and Q simply fell against him trembling, as he held them. Awkwardly patted them as they cried. They hugged him back, squeezed with their small hands the back of his shirt.
He didn’t ask and even a hushed apology Q managed to choke out, whether it was for disturbing him or another reason, he didn’t know. The soft sniffles and whimpers managed to quiet until Q went limp against him. Their breathing had steadied and their chest fell up and down in a soft rhythm. They had fallen asleep, cheek pressed against Dazai’s shoulder. Their eyes were closed, puffy from crying their heart out, wet lashes kissing their skin. Their face was peaceful, free from their usual anxious-looking expression or the malice that was once a long time ago present there. He ruffled their hair before covering them in a blanket. They wouldn’t let go of his coat and when he tried to pry their hand away they frowned and moved closer so he had no choice but to stay there. He fell asleep a while after. Both were tangled in the blanket when the redhead arrived, Q clinging onto to Dazai, who was on his side, facing away. Chuuya had taken a picture of them both, before promptly waking them up.