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Every morning, Hinata takes the train to college. It's okay, mostly; a little packed, and he's fallen asleep once or twice or three times when he'd managed to get a seat, but mostly he stands and people-watches. It's three months into his freshman year, and he recognizes a few faces; the girl who is always laughing on her phone, the boy who definitely sleeps more than Hinata but always managed to wake up before his stop, the old lady who loves to talk to him and has given him candy more than once (she's his favorite).
Today, though, there's a new face. He stands out among the other people trailing in and out; he's tall, really tall, and more importantly, he's hot. Throughout the ride, Hinata finds himself glancing back at Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome. He has an intimidating face, definitely; he looks like someone who's overslept and forgotten he has a huge paper due, which Hinata knows from experience is enough to put anyone in an awful mood. The boy ends up exiting a stop before Hinata, and he figures that's the end of that, they'll never see each other again, as is what usually happens with Hianta's people-watching.
That's not the end of it, though. He's back the next day, the day after that, and the day after that. He's still there a full week later, and Hinata is starting to wonder who he is, where he lives, and why he looks pissed all the time. That's the one thing stopping him from striking up a conversation; the taller boy's murderous expression that jolts his stomach whenever he accidentally meets his gaze. This guy might be hot, but he's really, really scary. Maybe he's part of a gang, or a murderer, or one of those youkai his friend Tanaka likes telling him about late at night before he has to make his way home in the dark.
Hinata ends up bringing him up in conversation a few weeks later, talking to his friend Yachi after class.
“He's so tall,” he says, gesturing above his head, “Like this tall. You should see him, and he always has this really scary expression. If he didn't, he'd be really hot, you know?”
Yachi perks up at this. “Have you talked to him? Maybe he just looks scary and he's really a nice guy.”
He shakes his head furiously, intimidated just thinking about it. Hinata would much rather not talk to this guy and avoid being beaten up or worse, and continue to imagine the kind of scary stuff he must get up to, or where he lives, if he has friends, a girlfriend-
“Take a picture of him,” Yachi's saying, snapping him back to the conversation. “I think he's probably not as scary as you say he is.”
Hinata huffs; he honestly doesn't know why everyone always thinks he's exaggerating, because he's not, most of the time, and this guy really is scary. He's going to prove it, he tells Yachi, she'll see, they'll all see, and if he ends up disappearing forever, it's her fault.
Xxx
The next morning, Hinata's armed and ready before the tall, angry boy boards the train. He's got his phone out, keeps glancing up like he's going to be jumped before he can get his evidence, and then there he is, stepping onto the train, tall and intimidating like usual. Hinata feels himself start to sweat, and pretends to be deeply engrossed in his phone.
The boy stops right next to him. Hinata gets ready to make a break for it. How did he know? Maybe he really is some kind of monster.
But he doesn't do anything, or say anything; he just stands there, normally, like the rest of the passengers. Hinata takes a minute to glance around, noticing for the first time that it is kind of crowded, and the spot next to him was probably the only space available. He's still safe.
Now all he has to do is take a picture.
He supposes he can take it tomorrow, since this kid will likely be there too, and maybe he'll have a better position rather than trying to take one with this tall boy standing next to him, easily able to see whatever Hinata's doing on his phone. He wants to do it now, though, today, before he chickens out for real and spills to Tanaka and ends up not being able to sleep at night thinking about all the terrifying things this stranger could do to his soul.
So he waits. He waits, and waits, and the stops go by, and soon it's one stop before the boy next to him gets off. Hinata thinks he's going to miss his opportunity and Yachi will think he's exaggerating forever, which he totally isn't, when the boy turns away slightly and this is it, this is his chance. Hinata snaps a picture.
He's forgotten to turn the sound off.
The tall boy snaps his head around, his eyes lock on Hinata's immediately, and Hinata does the only thing he can do in a situation where playing it cool is the best course of action.
He yelps, drops his phone, and scurries to pick it up before this kid can eat him and send his soul wandering for all eternity.
“Did you just take a picture of me?” This is the first time he's ever heard this boy's voice, and it's low and annoyed and Hinata's desperately shaking his head and trying to shove his phone in his pocket. A hand shoots out and grabs his wrist, his other hand slipping the phone from Hinata's shaking grip and he's dead, he's totally dead as this terrifying stranger looks at the photo he'd just obviously taken of him.
The boy glances back down at him, then to the phone again. “You seriously just took a picture of me. You look at me all the time, but I didn't know you were that kind of guy.”
Hinata's terror dissolves into indignant embarrassment, because he's got it all wrong. “I'm not! I told my friend about you and she wanted to see a picture, so I told her I'd take one! I didn't think you'd notice and I was never going to talk to you anyway!”
“I'm not interested in girls,” says the boy, but his face looks almost imperceptibly different. He hands the phone back to Hinata and returns to focusing on the window in front of them. His shoulders are weirdly rigid, and Hinata glances from the phone back to him. Something dawns on him.
Had he hurt his feelings?
Hinata's not scared anymore, just feeling kind of guilty, that maybe this kid isn't so bad and he just has a really scary face and maybe he's sad nobody talks to him, ever, when Hinata always strikes up conversations with the people around him. So he takes a deep breath and does something that's probably really stupid.
“I'm Hinata Shouyou,” he says, staring down at his feet.
There's silence next to him, and he thinks he's being ignored for a minute until the voice next to him speaks up.
“Kageyama Tobio.”
Hinata looks up at him, and he's still staring ahead, but he doesn't look at scary as before. Kageyama. It's fitting, but Tobio sounds too cute for him. Hinata grins thinking about it, and then there's a voice at his side again.
“What's funny?”
His head shoots up and the stranger—Kageyama--is looking at him with a scowl on his face. Hinata finds himself grinning.
“Nothing! We've just been taking the train together forever and I never even asked what your name is because of that scary look you have on your face all the time.” The second it slips out he's worried that Kageyama's going to be mad, but his scowl just deepens and it looks almost like a pout and Hinata grins wider.
They end up parting ways when Kageyama gets off at his stop, as usual, but this time Hinata waves to him. He sees Kageyama glance behind him, over his shoulder, and then he's gone. Hinata glances at the picture he'd taken, finally, the one he's going to use as proof for Yachi that Kageyama's really scary looking, but he stops. Kageyama's not glaring or anything in this picture; his face looks neutral, and he's actually kind of pretty.
Hinata groans. All that for nothing.
Xxx
They stand next to each other every day now, Kageyama a tall solid presence next to Hinata. Hinata learns that they go to the same school, that Kageyama loves volleyball and Hinata lights up and tells him that he played in high school, to which Kageyama scoffs and leans an elbow on the top of Hinata's head as if to emphasize his height. It's like this, now, they've become close enough for casual touching, Hinata gripping Kageyama's jacket when he gets jostled by the taller passengers and Kageyama grabbing his arm when the train stops too suddenly.
It's kind of nice.
Hinata never ends up showing Yachi that picture, because she was right; Kageyama's not really that scary. Well, he is, but he's mostly just grumpy, which Hinata can handle. They poke fun at each other, and Hinata hasn't lost his soul yet, so he thinks he's safe.
It carries on like this for a while, casual friendship (?) on the train to school, and Hinata finds himself looking forward to seeing Kageyama every morning. When he waves, Kageyama waves back, and once he even plops himself on Kageyama's lap because there's only one seat so why not? It's not like he'd be able to hold Kageyama's weight on his, after all.
It's a normal friendship, really, but there's one thing that is not quite normal.
Hinata still thinks Kageyama is really hot.
He is, of course, he's tall and his hair is smooth and soft and shiny. That's only normal to notice about someone, even after you've become friends with them, right? He only thinks about Kageyama a ton because he's fun to be around, even if he's kind of an ass sometimes. He hasn't deleted that picture from his phone because it's a good picture, and he likes seeing Kageyama's face when it's relaxed. It's not weird at all.
It gets worse when he goes to Kageyama's practice one day, and he's really good. He's amazing, actually, and the way he moves and flows when he's playing is nothing short of beautiful. It's okay to think that because it's true, and when he mentions it to Kageyama the taller boy's face turns red and he smacks Hinata in the back of the head.
Girls come up to him on the train, sometimes, tittering and twirling their hair and trying to get Kageyama to strike up a conversaion. He replies in blunt, one-word answers when possible, until the girls finally wander away, disappointed. Hinata feels kind of guilty for feeling smug (that's my friend, back off), and likes the way Kageyama presses against his side when it's crowded rather than touch the person next to him.
Yeah, they are really good friends.
Xxx
“You talk about him a lot, you know?” Yachi says one day, when they're studying in the library after school. Hinata blinks, not catching what she's talking about. “Kageyama.”
He feels his face heat up with realization. “That's just because I see him every day!” he protests, although it sounds kind of hollow. He sees Yachi every day, too, but he's not always going on about her when he's with Kageyama. Yachi realizes this, too, because she gives him a look.
“He plays volleyball with me, okay?” he says, like that's all the explanation that's needed. Sometimes after school, they get together in an empty park and Kageyama tosses for him; he's been telling Hinata to try out for the team, and Hinata's heart races just thinking about it, about playing with Kageyama-
Okay, this is a little weird.
Hinata ends up with his head on his arms, and Yachi's patting his back.
“You like him,” she says, and Hinata's head shoots up.
“Of course I like him! He's fun to talk to, and he's amazing at volleyball, and...” He looks good, Hinata almost says, but he doesn't, because Kageyama's a boy and it's not what Yachi thinks at all, that is absolutely ludicrous. He resolves not to think about Kageyama for the rest of the day.
He mentions Yachi to Kageyama again, the next morning, experimentally, to see if it feels natural like when he's talking about Kageyama. Kageyama gives him a weird look.
“Is she your girlfriend?” he asks, and Hinata's choking on his own spit he inhales so quickly.
“No!” His denial is vehement, and he's not sure why. It's not like Yachi isn't cute or nice, but he can't ever see himself dating her, and having Kageyama think that they're going out is for some reason unthinkable to him. “She's just a close friend. I've told her a lot about you!”
Kageyama's face seems to relax a little, although he still looks kind of weird. They fall into silence, Hinata watching him out of the corner of his eye. Kageyama's eyes catch his, once, and he quickly looks away. He wonders why his face feels warm, and why the tips of Kageyama's ears are almost barely pink.
He really needs to stop thinking about him.
Xxx
As soon as Hinata's told himself to stop thinking about Kageyama, he thinks about him even more. Or maybe it's just that he's finally realizing exactly how hard it is to stop thinking about him, about the time they shared ice cream, once, after practicing together, or the time Kageyama did oversleep and barely caught the train and ended up napping against Hinata's shoulder. Hinata keeps thinking about the way he smelled, like detergent and fresh air, and he could honestly kick himself.
“Come over,” Kageyama says, one day, when Hinata's busy lost in thought and almost doesn't hear him. He looks over when it registers, but Kageyama's looking straight ahead, face blank like usual.
“Over where?” Hinata has a suspicion, but he wants to be sure.
Kageyama looks over at him this time, scowling. “To my place, dumbass. Where else?”
They've never been over to each other's places before. Hinata shares a room, and he's not sure how much he really wants his roommates to meet Kageyama. He doesn't know Kageyama's living situation, really, other than that he lives alone in an apartment. He's had roommates before, Hinata knows, but they hadn't gotten along, and had ended up moving.
Hinata feels like he'd be lonely in that kind of situation.
They meet up after practice, Hinata sitting on the bench and watching the way Kageyama moves after the ball. It's amazing, like always, and he finds himself squirming uncomfortably in his seat thinking about being alone with Kageyama in his apartment after this, after seeing the sweat dripping down his neck and his hair plastered to his forehead and Kageyama's standing right in front of him, suddenly, a towel around his neck.
“I'm going to get changed,” he says, after calling Hinata's name for apparently the third time. Hinata nods, face flushed, like Kageyama's but for a different reason. He waits patiently, and then there's Kageyama, holding out his hand, and Hinata takes it, like he usually does.
Not usually, he tells himself, reprimanding. Sometimes. It's normal, especially when he doesn't know where Kageyama lives and he doesn't want to get lost and one of Kageyama's teammates, tall and intimidating, is giving a whistle and Hinata watches Kageyma's cheeks turn pink, his familiar scowl returning with a vengeance.
He grips Kageyama's hand tighter.
Xxx
Kageyama's apartment is immaculate. Hinata's not exactly surprised, because it fits Kageyama's personality, but it's so different from his own place that it feels kind of alien. It's also exciting because this is where Kageyama sleeps, does homework, gets dressed—is that weird to think about?
Hinata sits down on the couch, where he can picture Kageyama falling asleep when he stays up too late studying, and then there's a dip next to him and Kageyama's sitting down and their shoulders are touching.
He doesn't know what to do in this situation, he's never been to someone else's apartment. And it's not just anyone else's apartment, it's Kageyama's apartment.
“Do you want anything to drink?” comes a voice from his side, and Hinata's head whips up to look at Kageyama, who looks amused. “It's just my apartment, it's not like you're meeting a girl for a date or something, stupid. Don't look like you're going to vomit on my floor.”
“I'm not!” Hinata huffs, and he feels the tension in his shoulders relax. It's true, it's just Kageyama, they've been together enough for this to be the next logical step, right? Nothing will be different.
They fall into a comfortable rhythm, talking about this and that and how hard English is, and how Hinata's grades are definitely better than Kageyama's, maybe, and then somehow it leads to Kageyama knocking Hinata off the couch and they roll around on the floor, trying to pin each other, and Hinata's laughing until he ends up the one being pinned and he yells for mercy.
And then his breath catches in his throat because he looks, really looks, up at Kageyama, who is staring down at him with eyes that are way too pretty when they're not glaring, he wishes they'd look like that more often, and then Hinata doesn't know what he's doing but his hands are against Kageyama's cheeks and he's kissing him.
This is Hinata's first kiss. He knows Kageyama knows that, and maybe that's why Kageyama presses back after a hesitant moment, because he doesn't want to reject Hinata's first kiss; Hinata doesn't care because it's amazing, although Kageyama's lips are chapped and neither of them are good at it. It's short, and they both pull away after a moment.
Hinata blinks up at Kageyama, who stares down at him.
“Umm...” He doesn't know what to say now, because Kageyama's cheeks are red, and he looks like he wants to go in for more, and that's definitely not something someone does out of pity for their friend never having been kissed.
“I like you,” Kageyma says.
“Okay,” Hinata says back.
Suddenly Kageyama's pushing up off of him, and there's a scary look on his face, but not the usual scary look. It's like all his scary looks rolled into one, but what he looks most of all is hurt, and Hinata thinks that's not right, he's rarely ever seen that on Kageyama and being the probable cause of it makes his chest clench.
“It's late,” Kageyama's saying, and straightening out his shirt. Hinata pushes himself to his feet. It's not really that late, only 7, but Hinata doesn't know what to do, his mind is reeling and he doesn't know what's going on because he just kissed Kageyama and Kageyama kissed back and he's mechanically grabbing his things and marching to the door.
It closes behind him before he even has a chance to turn and wave.
This definitely isn't how this was supposed to go at all.
Xxx
Hinata plans to talk to Kageyama on the train the next morning, to tell him he doesn't know what he was thinking and he's sorry for doing something weird, but Kageyama isn't there. Hinata thinks maybe it's just one of the days he misses the train, or he's sick, or something. He'll catch him tomorrow.
Kageyama's not there the next day, either.
He's not there the day after that, and a week later Hinata thinks something is very, very wrong. They've never exchanged numbers, never had to, so he can't call him and make sure.
“You should go to his practice,” Yachi tells him after he spills everything except the kiss. “He's probably there, right?”
Hinata nods miserably. Kageyama would never miss practice unless he was dying, and Hinata knows it's the logical next step, but he's scared. He's scared that Kageyama hates him, and that's honestly the worst thing he can think of, it makes his stomach roll and he feels like throwing up whenever he imagines it.
Yachi talks him down, though, and by the end of the day he's standing outside the gym, clutching the strap of his bag, and gulping down his nerves. He wishes Kageyama was there for support, but Kageyama's the one he's having to face right now.
He walks in.
Practice is finishing up, he's made sure to come near the end so he's not sitting there like a tool waiting for Kageyama to stop playing and talk to him. He half expects (hopes) Kageyama to be absent, but no, he's there, breathless and sweaty from playing, and Hinata has to push that out of his mind because he has things to do, important things, things that he can't be distracted from.
He waits there, in the doorway, until Kageyama turns and his eyes fall on Hinata. His face goes blank, and he looks like he's going to run for a second, but then his expression hardens and he marches up to Hinata, towering over him while Hinata feels like shrinking back and running home.
“Um,” he says, intelligently. “Kageyama.”
“What?” Kageyama's looking at him, but it's not the usual look, he's closed off and Hinata hates it. “I've been busy. What do you want?”
“I want to talk.” Hinata fiddles with his bag. “Um...are you mad at me?”
Kageyama looks at him for a minute, like he wants to say yes, but then he looks away and shakes his head, so small that Hinata almost misses it. He feels relief surge through his stomach. But then Kageyama's eyes flick back to Hinata's, sharp and calculating.
“I figured after what happened you wouldn't want to be around,” he says, and his voice isn't like it usually is. Hinata's mind reels, trying to recall what he's talking about.
That kiss.
“It's not like that!” he blurts out, although he has no idea what it is like. “I did that! It wasn't you! Why are you so upset when I was the one who...who...” Hinata lowers his voice and looks around. “Kissed you.”
“I told you I like you, and you said 'okay',” says Kageyama, folding his arms. He looks even taller than usual. “How am I supposed to take that?”
And then it clicks.
Kageyama Likes him.
Hinata feels his face warm up rapidly, and he's sure he's bright red right now, and Kageyama Likes him, like likes him, he'd kissed back and Hinata's so stupid, no wonder Kageyama hasn't wanted to talk to him. Hinata's hand shoots out and grips Kageyama's wrist, and he drags him out the door, into the cool air which provides a little relief, but not much.
“You like me?” Hinata asks, for clarification.
Kageyama nods, and he looks like he's deflating. His presence isn't looming anymore, he just looks defeated, and Hinata doesn't like it at all. He wants the usual Kageyama back, the one he's always thinking about, the one he'd unthinkingly kissed on his apartment floor.
“Clearly you don't return the feelings,” Kageyama's saying, and that doesn't sound right. Does Hinata return the feelings? He doesn't know, but he doesn't...not return them. He takes a deep breath. He needs to think this out.
“Kageyama,” he says, and Kageyama's looking at him warily. “Um...I'm always thinking about you. A lot. All the time. I wanted...to kiss you. I don't know why, but it felt like the right thing to do, and I kind of want to do it again.” His hands are twisting in the strap of his bag as he blurts it out, whatever his body is wanting him to say, and then he falls silent.
Kageyama's silent, too. Hinata chances a look up at him and can't read his expression.
And then suddenly there's a hand in his hair, long fingers twisting, hard, and Hinata yelps and tries to shove it away. He looks up and Kageyama's face is red, and he's glaring, but it's the “I'm really embarrassed” glare that Hinata secretly thinks is cute.
“You fucking...dumbass,” Kageyama grits out, tightening his fingers. “You put me through a week of hell thinking you hated me.”
Hinata's still trying to pry Kageyama's hand away from his hair when the taller boy stills, and Hinata looks up again, and he looks very serious.
“Hinata,” he says, and his eyes flicker away before looking back.
Somehow, Hinata knows what he's asking without him saying it, and he nods, and then Kageyama's hand is relaxing in his hair, and he's pressing his lips against Hinata's, soft and hesitant.
When they pull away, they're both flushed, and Hinata's grinning because that definitely felt right, like what he imagines kisses to be like, and Kageyama looks dazed like he can't believe what's happening. Hinata can't really, either, but then he'd never even wanted to talk to Kageyama when they'd first met.
Yachi was right, he thinks to himself, while they program each other's numbers into their phones. Hinata uses the picture he still hasn't deleted, Kageyama looking off into the distance, and Kageyama yells at him for still having that picture like a weird stalker or something (it's nice, Hinata protests) and then Hinata takes a picture for Kageyama, sticking out his tongue.
They end up back at Kageyama's apartment, Hinata taking Kageyama's hand on his own this time, liking the way it feels now that he knows why he's feeling it, and when Kageyama says it again, “I like you,” after another short kiss, Hinata grins and says it back.