Chapter Text
Peter had an existential crisis. His class had a field trip, but given his Parker Luck, as Flash called it, it was to Stark Tower. He had wanted to skip when he got Pepper to sign it and handed it to the principal (She knew about his parents, and he gave his permission slips directly to her, and she called his teachers) so as not to get in trouble or to let out the secret.
So here he was, sitting on a yellow bus with Ned and M.J., on the way to his doom. The Academic Decathlon team had gotten an overnight trip, whereas the rest of his grade had a typical trip for a few hours. He almost jumped out of the bus window when he realized he forgot his pass. At least security recognizes me, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. doesn't force me to wear it. The only problem would be his class, so he pulled out his StarkPhone and opened up a program his dad made that connected to the female A.I.
Hey, Fri, I'm on my way to the tower. When I go through the scanner, please don't call out my level and announce me as Peter Parker instead of Banner-Stark.
Okay, Peter. How long would you like this to last?
Just until the field trip is over, or tomorrow.
Alright. Just a question, how come on business emails you give Karen, and I access? We can see it either way.
Karen said she feels like she shouldn't see it (due to invading privacy), so I added her and you. I can stop if you'd like.
Thanks... And could you ask Mr. Stark to do it as well?
Of course. See you Fri!
See you soon M.S.!
Everyone still called his dad and Papa by their birth names, despite being married. Probably so as not to confuse them. Even F.R.I.D.A.Y. called him MS. Everyone at the tower did, though occasionally, generally with his Papa's co-workers, he was called M.B., due to his intense focus on projects.
Peter connected his wireless headphones (from S.I., of course!) and played Jesus in L.A. by Alec Benjamin. He loved this song because, despite being a hero and related to the Avengers, life wasn't always perfect. He wouldn't find his happiness in glamour.
Once, Peter had tried to stop a weapons dealer and nearly ended up almost letting hundreds of people die. His dad had helped him out but had taken away his suit. Peter understood his dad was concerned about his safety, but that only protected him less! He ended up creating a less technical suit and left to fight the Vulture again, stopping him from stealing stuff from S.I.
After that, he had gotten his suit back, but Tony had added a TON of protocols to protect him. Peter ended up getting him back. (I will go into this further in another one-shot)
Finally, they arrived, and they all left the bus. Everyone except M.J. and Peter had their jaws on the ground. Peter hadn't told anyone, other than the principal, about his family. Peter was used to it, and M.J. was hard to impress, and even she had a slight glimmer in her eyes.
After less than a minute, they were pushed into the lobby, and everyone except Peter got a badge. Flash pointed this out to the employee (who Peter had worked with before, their name was Amelia, who was German, with blue eyes and strawberry blond hair that looked slightly orange in the sun). They looked towards Peter and said that there wasn't a problem, as Peter already had a badge.
"You do have yours, right? It's fine if you don't, F. R. I. D. A. Y. will still let you in," they said. Peter just shook his head to show he didn't bring his badge but knew Fri would let him through. As Amelia was going through the rules, Peter zoned out. Soon, Peter was up to the scanner after the monotonous cycle of F. R. I. D. A. Y. announcing each student's name and level.
"Peter Parker, no contraband. Welcome back!" she said, her tone softening like a mother. "Should I alert Mr. Stark?"Peter just nodded while looking towards a security camera.
"Sure, why not?"
The rest of the students just stared, surprised about the interaction between their classmate and the A.I. Flash nearly burst out, but the tour guide began speaking. Amelia started leading the tour when they reached the museum. He talked to Amelia a bit, asking about their girlfriend, who had gotten pregnant. After a small chat, he began to look around. His eyes landed on Thor exhibit, which had his backstory and some facts.
Thor loves PopTarts
Thor calls some of the Avengers, such as Iron Man, Man of Iron and Spider-Man is Man of Spiders
Thor has a soft spot for Spider-Man
Thor can't be casual to save his life, don't trust him with secrets.
After that, it was some simple stuff, such as him being Asgard's ruler. He looked up at a replica of the suit of armor when he saw his suit in the reflection. He began to walk across and looked at his exhibit. It included the suit that he made when he fought Vulture, as well as his older web-shooters. He smirked at it, then began to read the facts his father put in. He was totally going to get him back.
Spider-Man is (ironically) afraid of spiders
Spider-Man calls Black Widow мама паук, meaning spider mom
Spider-Man is the only avenger with a secret identity
Spider-Man made his own webs and web-shooters
Deadpool calls him Tom Holland, though no one knows why
And after that, it was about how he got his powers, etc. They said it was a school field trip that gave him his powers, and that he had been persistent on 'looking out for the little guy' and turned down the invitation to be an Avenger.
Eventually, the group was changing to another room, but Peter's spider-sense went off and heard a noise from the vent above him. He simply stopped as he was in the front and looked at Amelia, gesturing up. She understood what he meant and stopped the group. Within a few seconds, Clint Barton dropped down from the vents and saw Peter.
"Peter, my dude, my fantastical nerd!" he exclaimed. Peter smiled, understanding what he wanted. He had decided to come out to the world as Tony Stark and Bruce Banner's son in a month, so why not?
"Clint, my dude, my majestical bird!" He exclaimed, doing their special handshake.
"Mr. Barton, would you like to join our tour?" asked Amelia. They knew that Clint would join either way, but offered to be kind. The archer just nodded and walked towards the back with Peter. They began talking with each other when he tapped Ned and M.J.'s shoulders. Once they looked at him, he gestured towards Clint and for them to come. Ned was slightly shaking from excitement, and M.J. was... Well, being M.J.
"Clint, these are my friends Ned and MJ," he said. He figured he'd introduce his friends to his family, even if they didn't know it was his family. They probably just thought he was friends with him when actually Clint was like the immature uncle you loved to hang out with.
"'Sup," was all M.J. said, but he same wasn't said from Ned. He did the exact opposite and rambled.
"Oh my- Mr. Barton! Peter, is this real?" Peter only nodded, signing to Clint that Ned loves heroes and the Avengers, so he was super excited right now. "This is so awesome! Peter, how do you know him? Oh well, I met the Hawkeye!" Ned continued rambling, but it was mostly him muttering.
"Nice to meet you guys, and girls!" he quickly added on after remembering Peter's description of M.J., including her being an extreme feminist. She simply smiled at that before returning to her book that came from who knows where. After a while, Clint left, saying they were going to lab 8-B, also known as his Papa's lab. (though Clint didn't report that last part, Peter knew) True to his words, they did go to Bruce's lab and saw him working.
"Peter! Could you help me with this equation? I can't focus well right now," stated Peter's Papa.
"Sure!" Peter said, and looked at it. It was a simple error that was overlooked: Bruce forgot a negative symbol. Peter fixed it and asked how much sleep he had gotten.
"8 hours..." replied his father. Peter was doubtful, so he narrowed it down.
"Over the course of?"... Silence. There was a pause before he answered.
"A week..."F. R. I. D. A. Y. He said sheepishly. Peter sighed, his Papa needed to take better care of himself.
"Go sleep, Papa. You need to take care of yourself!" He whispered so that only the employees and his father could hear. He nodded and headed out while yawning.
Amelia carried on. "As you can see, this is the lab that Dr. Bruce Banner-Stark supervises, and there is a project for you here," they said while gesturing to some boxes on the back counter. As they grabbed one and showed it to the class, Peter chuckled. It was a robot he had designed. He decided to something different with it, as there was enough for each student to have their own if they wished, but they could work collaboratively.
Peter grabbed a box when his name was called, though he was dressed by M.B., as this was one of his Papa's employees. He sat in a corner and began to work on a mini-robot that could walk around, fly, scan for enemies, spy, etc. He eventually uploaded Karen into it and made a mental note to offer this to F.R.I.D.A.Y.
Karen, in the robot body, began to walk around and test everything, per Peter wanting to make sure everything was correct. A few seconds later, Peter's spider-sense went off, and he smelt smoke, but not from a soldering iron. He quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher and whispered to Karen to activate the protocol for this. She contacted F. R. I. D. A. Y. , who started the protocol, and Peter offered sprayed the project that was smoking.
Within a few minutes, everything was back to normal. The contest continued, and Abe won. Peter didn't think it would be fair to put his robot in the competition, as the code for Karen had been written before and had taken several hours. Soon, they're on their way out, Peter with Karen in his bag's side pocket.
They all went into the elevator when Cindy asked why it was so big, and Peter chuckled, having seen the blueprints for it. On it was a note that said 'extra big for Bruce and I.'
Seeing Amelia laugh, Peter asked if she had also seen the blueprints, to which she nodded. They burst out laughing.
In the end, Cindy never got an answer.
They headed up to the gym, where Peter knew Cap and Nat would be. As they walked in, they saw them sparring, trying new attacks on each other to see if they would work. Eventually, Peter saw Nat trick him with two punches and then swept his legs out from under him when she dodged his attack. She placed him in a headlock until he tapped out, Nat keeping her undefeated record.
Peter clapped, letting them know of their presence, and the other joined in. Nat and Steve looked over and saw Peter. They smirked, and Natasha began speaking in Russian to Peter. She asked how her spider-son's tour was, and, in Russian as well, he replied, saying it was fine so far. Flash had left the tour early, due to a dentist appointment, but would be returning tomorrow.
Then Nat introduced herself, with Steve following. Soon, they were going over primary defense when Steve called in Bucky, Nat told Peter to go get changed. Bucky and Steve began to fight to demonstrate, and some of the students saw the moves they learned, making a note of how to use them. Nat just laughed evil and glanced at Peter, who had come in while the boys were fighting.
"That was a nice fight, but let me show you a real one. Mind helping, Peter?" she asked. Peter nodded and walked towards the center of the gym, which reeked of disinfectant and sweat.
"Ready?" she asked. Peter nodded, and they began to fight. It almost looked like a dance, punches being thrown and dodged, then the dodger would retaliate, only for another attack to be avoided by them. After a while, Peter managed to pin Natasha down in a headlock using legs, sitting on her back while holding her arms and legs. Eventually, she tapped out, and Peter got up and grabbed a towel.
They announced that they could go try anything the students wanted to around the room, except for a few things, such as Nat's widow-bites and Steve's shield, though there were shields for them to use. Peter saw some of his older web-shooters and chuckled, deciding on whether or not to use them. He decided on using them, and he shot across the gym on a target. Bullseye. Again, he got a bullseye.
He decided to switch when Ned saw him and asked to use them, he allowed, and Ned did worse than he did. Peter went over to the guns and gave them a try. Nat was standing there for safety reasons, and she handed him a pair of headphones and gave them to everyone in the room, as this was their allotted time for using guns.
All the students had signed waivers, and Nat began instructing them on their stance. Then how to hold the gun, and hen what to do when you were going to shoot. They began, and Peter had gotten two headshots and a shot to the heart. They only got to shot three times each and had to take turns as there were only a few ranges.
The second best score was a student Peter didn't know well. They were named Jacob and had gotten one headshot instead of Peter's two, a miss, and a shot in the shoulder. After everyone went, they left and headed to a particular room. It was designed to test the abilities of people with powers. So far, Steve had the best score in the running, but Spider-Man had the highest in strength, which was 30,000 pounds.
All the scores were ranked on a screen for strength and speed. Peter could run almost 12 miles per hour, which compared to Steve's 26 miles per hour. Peter wasn't that sad about it, as he was still a child, and spiders are stronger than they are fast.
But all the students stared at the board, surprised at how strong he was. Then Bucky was in a close second a 25,000 pounds, with Steve at 18,000 pounds. He didn't realize it was that much until someone asked why the difference was that big, and a scientist answered.
"The strongest spider can hold up to 170 times its own weight, and Spider-Man said something about the math being off due to one of his parents." Eventually, the class headed to the balcony after everyone finished looking at all the equipment they used to test it.
Once they were, they were all given the lunches they brought when Peter remembered he forgot his. He pulled out his phone and texted his sister-figure, Wanda, and asked her to bring it down for him. She agreed, and he saw her within minutes in disguise. She walked up to his table and passed him lunch and started talking to him for a bit. It was just about some pranks for the next prank war, but that was fine.
She was getting ready to leave when Peter pulled M.J. over towards her.
"Wanda, this is my friend, MJ. M.J., this is Wanda. I think M.J. might have some questions for you." Peter said before watching them interact a little, deeming Wanda liked her and left them to chat as well. Then he headed to Ned and talked about building the Lego© Death Star. However, within a few minutes, Peter saw the Wakandan ship landing, and Peter instantly knew why. His dad had called T'Challa and Shuri over to embarrass him.
Peter just sighed and placed his head on the table, softly cursing before thinking about Steve saying 'LANGUAGE!™' in his own head. Soon, Shuri came up to him and tried to scare him while his head was on the table, but he quickly turned around and scared her instead, to which she said.
"White Boy! I almost had you there! Anyway, we need to talk about the next prank war, it's in a few days," she said, pulling up a chair to his table. She sat in it backward, like Steve in a P.S.A., and Peter just laughed and showed her some of the P.S.A.s, to which she laughed as well. Suddenly, Peter had an idea.
"Let's use his P.S.A.s against him. Just walk up to the dining room table in his pose and say 'The sharpest tool in every soldier's toolbox. Math,' and then ask F. R. I. D. A. Y. to project it!" Share just started nodding, envision it. Share and Peter are always someone you want on your side in prank wars, but if one of them is against you, you better have something to protect you against brutal attacks from them. But if they are both against you... Good luck.
Peter and Shuri would have more plans soon, this was just a warm-up prank against him. Captain better watch his back, or else he will be extremely embarrassed by the end of these pranks. Shuri left, heading to her lab, and Peter began to clean up, as it was almost time for the group to go.
Peter threw his stuff away, and within a minute, the group was ready to leave. They headed out and began to go to a room with many chairs and a small area for someone to speak. He quickly questions Amelia on what it was for, but they shrugged. Within a few minutes, all the Avengers that could make it were there. This list had every Avenger except Spider-Man, Captain Marvel, and the Guardians. Peter noticed both his fathers up there and glanced at Bruce, who was sending him an apologetic look.
"Alright, folks, ask us any questions you have!" said Clint. Everyone's hands went up, and Clint called on some student he didn't know well, but was in is homeroom. Their name was Elizabeth.
"How do you know Peter?" she asked, glancing back a Peter. Clint just looked at Peter, who nodded, then to his parents, who shrugged. It was Peter's choice.
"Peter, do you want to answer that one?" asked the archer, and Peter stood up, taking in a deep breath.
"I'm always around the tower, especially in my dad and Papa's labs. Speaking of which, go to bed Papa. Dad, you need to let him sleep," he said, directing the last two parts at Bruce and Tony, which was proven by Bruce yawning. All the students looked at him in awe, until he asked Wanda to take his Papa to his room, and Wanda left with Bruce. At that point, everyone made the connection.
Peter was then bombarded with questions asking him about everything from what being related to Avengers was like to wether Thor was single. Of course, Thor was, but Peter just sighed. Suddenly, they seemed to get way louder, the lights brighter, the perfume scent stronger (which was coming off of Betty), and his clothes felt ten times itchier.
Of course, Peter's dad had made earplugs for this, but he didn't bring them. He gulped and tried to block it out. He began to get a headache and asked everyone to be quiet. This didn't work, and they just started grabbing at him. Eventually, he couldn't take the torture and just screamed at them.
"ENOUGH!" He said, breath shaky, just like his legs. He mumbled something to an earpiece he had, which contained Karen. Karen contacted F. R. I. D. A. Y. who contacted his dad. F. R. I. D. A. Y. told Tony he didn't have his earplugs or his glasses, and Tony raced to grab them. Peter seemed to be doing fine before, but that just showed how much Tony sucked at being a dad.
God, Tony. Can't even tell when your child needs help? Shows what you know, which is just how to destroy everyone you come into contact with! Sneered his inner demon. He knew that it was lies, but he couldn't help but listen. It was true. His assistant, Pepper Potts, had been assented because of him, his parents died. No! He began to tell himself. Your son needs your help; you can't break down now!
He raced into his lab, grabbing his spare pair, which he had just in case, and ran back down the stairs, know the elevator would take too long. He reached the room and knelt down next to Peter, putting them on. He gave him his sunglasses, which contained F. R. I. D. A. Y. if Peter needed anything. He grabbed his son and carried him towards the upper floors. And set him on his bed, which had covered as smooth as humanly possible for his sensory overloads.
Peter fell asleep, and Tony told F. R. I. D. A. Y. to alert him when he awoke. He then called Happy to get the class to sign N.D.A.'s about this whole trip, and Happy did so instantly once he heard they had found out about Peter's family. Happy didn't want to admit it, but he cared immensely for the kid, and would not let him lose his sense of normalcy. So he ran towards the room with the papers, forcing them to sign or they could not leave the room.
Of course, there just had to be that one kid that refused to sign it, so Happy called Loki. They signed once they saw Loki with his daggers and a murderous glint in his eyes.
Just as Happy hated to admit it, Loki did. Peter had also weaseled his way into Loki's (literally) frosty heart. No one would hurt his cousin/nephew. He didn't know what Peter was to him, but he felt somewhere in between those two, as Loki was still young compared to his life span. Happy would always have this copies with him, as well as fresh ones now. The tour guide didn't need to sign, they had signed one when they were hired.
All hell would break lose tomorrow, when Flash returned.