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Does Catra hate Adora for leaving? Yes. Is she completely, irrevocably in love with Adora? Also yes. Does she hate herself for loving Adora? Oh, absolutely.
Double Trouble thinks maybe Catra just needs to get the whole Adora infatuation out of her system. One night, Catra is desperate enough to give it a try.
What's that sound in the distance? Oh, you know, just Catra drowning in her own self-loathing. The usual.
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Out of Your System - polarisfuriosa
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24672628