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“You know kid, nothing’s gonna change between you and Hancock if you don’t tell him how you feel.” Nick’s voice was a soft lull in the night. A hot coal fire burned brightly in a garbage bin, crackling away and adding to the ambiance of night time in Diamond City. Somewhere in the distance gunfire erupted and shouts filled the air while Travis ‘Lonely’ Miles spoke softly to the Commonwealth through their radios, unaware of the carnage. Kathy stayed silent, eyes glued to the floor. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I haven’t seen you this down in a long, long time Kath…” His voice petered out, with no words left to speak.
They had been out combing the wastes for Hancock for almost 8 weeks, not that Kathy was keeping track. The most obvious place came first on the list, but once they’d found no sign of him in Goodneighbor they’d started checking out smaller settlements. The two never rested their heads in the same place twice, working as efficiently as possible, but were always met with the same script; nobody had seen or heard from Hancock but if they did they’d contact Radio Freedom. It all felt like a big, sick joke that only got worse once they started running out of caps.
In the haze, Kathy burned through chems twice as fast as she usually did, leaving the detective with very little money to rent rooms with. Most nights they found whatever pre-war shack seemed suitable and rode the nights out under the stars. Tonight, though, the two were safe within the walls of Diamond City, relaxing in the upper stands before retiring to Nick’s small home. The hope that once had settled itself deep in Kathy’s stomach was nowhere to be found within the cold, oppressive walls of Fenway Park. Of all places, Hancock wouldn’t be here.
“You and I had some good times out on the road together in the beginning. I hope you haven’t forgotten about your good pal Nick quite yet.” His humor was dry and didn’t do much to lift her spirits. In fact, more and more guilt seemed to course through her veins the more Nick tried to connect. Failed friend was just another title on her ever growing list of fuck ups, of which Hancock was the largest. Nick seemed to notice her pain, which just led to more guilt flooding her.
“Sometimes these days I hate myself for taking you to Goodneighbor in the first place. I could’ve gone to see Amari on one of my usual appointments.” Now his voice had grown even softer, a whisper through the mutfruit trees and the looming empty stadium seats surrounding them.
“No, Nick, don’t blame yourself. I would’ve wandered into Goodneighbor one way or another. None of this falls on you. I was just… an idiot.”
“So was he if he walked out on someone like you so easily.”
The gunshots in the distance stopped, slowly drifting away into nothingness like the last remains of a radstorm, and for the first time in months Kathy felt at peace with where she was. Maybe she didn’t have Hancock anymore but she had Nick. The more she thought about it, looking up at the stars, there was a whole lot of good sitting right in front of her that she hadn’t seen. There was Deacon and Cait with their drinking games, Dogmeat bringing joy to even the darkest ghoul den, Codsworth whirring away trying to trim shriveled hedges, hell, Nick was sitting right there in front of her, helping her chase a phantom across the Commonwealth for no reason besides the fact that she wanted to. Even if Hancock was gone for good, there were people worth fighting for, grateful faces all around at every settlement while she brought peace to a place that hadn’t seen rest for hundreds of years.
“Nick,” she whispered, her mind full to the brim, “do you think you can ever forgive me?” Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as Nick smiled his famous, charming smile and outstretched his arms.
“There’s nothing you need to be forgiven for doll. You helped me chase my ghost, it was only right for me to help you chase yours.”
“Winter was different! He took something from you Nick, he was a bad man who needed to be put down.”
“Ah, but Hancock took something from you. It might not be something physical, but he took a part of you nonetheless,” He paused there, letting his words sink in before heaving a sigh and getting up to put a lid on the fire.
“The thing is, you’re already helping me chase after my past. I’m out here every single day searching for a man who abandoned me and letting my kid, my own god damn flesh and blood, slip through my fingers. I should be combing through the Glowing Sea for that doctor. Instead, look what I’ve become Nick. What the fuck have I turned into…” Kathy let the tears she’d held in for weeks fall, heaving breaths in the darkness. Slowly, Nick came over to her and squatted by her side. He wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder, letting her cry her fill and wail into his coat until the emotions faded. Once the moment passed Nick got up with a soft smile, patting Kathy’s shoulder.
“Now let's get going, you should take your Jet and head down to the agency while I do a few favors for Vadim.” He chuckled, turning his back to fetch his pistol from the ground.
“No!” She snapped, eyes wide, before standing and grabbing the canisters of Jet she kept tucked away in her bag. “No more chems Nick, it’s not helping me anymore.” Slowly but surely, she placed bottles of Day Tripper and syringes of Psyco into Nick’s awaiting hands. “I want you to sell them,” she explained, shuffling through stimpacks and Rad-X to find any stragglers, “they should rake in more than enough for supplies and shelter along the way. Nick, I wanna go home, I can’t keep living like...like…”
Kathy’s voice petered off into nothingness as Nick approached her from behind. Gripped in her hand was a crumpled box of berry Mentats. Her throat was tight and dry at the sight of them, the seemingly innocent little package looking so frail in her calloused fingers. “I think… I think I’m going to keep these ones, just in case.” She muttered under her breath, earning a sigh from the detective at her side. “I’m gonna go get some rest Nick, I think I need some rest.”
As she made her way down the rickety metal stairs she paused for a moment, looking at the synth over her shoulder and finding him still standing by the small radio.
“Nick, do you think he could’ve loved me?”
Her voice was thin and measured; she wanted honesty.
“Yeah Kath, and I think once he wakes up from whatever delusion he’s under he’ll realize he fucked up real bad.”
Kathy responded with a thoughtful hum before descending into the alleys of Diamond City. Before long she was curled up safe in Nick’s bed, falling asleep to the soft sounds of Ella Fitzgerald. The next day they left Diamond City without a second glance.