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“Tsukki, it’s okay. Trust me, it is okay,” Yamaguchi reassured Tsukishima in a low but soft-spoken voice. Tsukishima lifted his head to stare back at Yamaguchi, who already had his hands on either side of his face.
Tsukishima nodded and looked down at Yamaguchi’s lips, which were pink and small, begging to be kissed.
So that’s what Tsukishima did; he kissed those lips — Yamaguhci’s lips — and he doesn’t think he’s felt anything better than this, whether it be emotionally or physically. Tsukishima never wanted this to end. He wanted to stay right here, in this indescribable room, with Yamaguchi — kissing Yamaguchi — and he hoped that Yamaguchi would say the same if he was asked about how he felt.
They broke apart, and Yamaguchi opened his mouth to speak. In fact, he was speaking, but no sound came out. Tsukishima couldn’t hear him. Then, just as the sound came out of his mouth, and Yamaguchi started to say the words “I love,” with a fervent voice, Tsukishima woke up.
10:05 A.M.
Tsukishima would much rather tell himself he didn’t remember anything about his dream. That right when he woke up the dream disappeared from his memory as if it had never happened in the first place, but he couldn’t. Not when he dreamt of something like that. He was so stunned by the dream that it put him in a daze all morning, thankfully it was spring break, but either way, he was in a daze, and it didn’t help that all he could think about was Yamaguchi’s lips. The lips that belonged to his best — and only — friend. What was he thinking, dreaming something like that?
Can people control their dreams? I should look into it, Tsukishima thought, then I can make myself dream something horrendous, just so I’ll never have a dream of Tadashi again.
His doorbell rang, and he went to see who it was after remembering he was the only one home.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I am so fucked! Tsukishima frets as he walks to the door, not taking into account that he was without a shirt. What the fuck am I going to say when I see him? “Hey, Tadashi! Wow, it feels like I just saw you like thirty minutes ago. Probably because I had a dream that we kissed!” Tsukishima took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, reaching to open his front door. Once it was opened, Yamaguchi smiled up at him, and as if on cue, Tsukishima slammed it shut. Not even allowing Yamaguchi to get out the words, “Hey, Tsukki!”
“Uh, Tsukki?” Tsukishima racked his brain, trying to find the right words, “Why did you, uh, slam the door in my face?” Yamaguchi waited a few seconds, ”Kei?”
Tsukishma sighed, hand still on the doorknob. Nice going, Kei! you finally found someone who can deal with your stubbornness, and you go and ruin everything by crushing on them! How fucking immature of you, Tsukishima thought to himself, staring at the closed door. He then wondered why he was talking in the third person, how fucking immature of me, he corrected, extremely fucking immature.
Wait, Tsukishima froze, “Crushing on them”? Tsukishima thought about his feelings for a few more seconds, yeah, seems about right. I don’t know why, but it seems about fucking right. Tsukishima groaned, great! Just great!
“Tsukki, I can go home if you’re too,” Yamaguchi paused, “tired,” he decided on, “to hang out right now.”
Tsukishima didn’t want that, he knew that much. He reached for the door again, and he opened it as Yamaguchi was mid-sentence.
“--talk to you,” Yamaguchi finished, looking at Tsukishima, and then at Tsukishima’s abs, seeing as he was still shirtless.
“You what?” Tsukishima asked in regards to the fragmented sentence. He was trying to act cool, and speak in a monotonous voice, thinking that if he acted well enough Yamaguchi wouldn’t think something happened.
“I gotta talk to you,” Yamaguchi restated, cutting off the beginning, where he said that he didn’t really want to leave and that he needed to see Tsukishima.
Tsukishima tried to act like that sentence didn’t phase him. He tried really hard to say, “Okay, come in, no one is home right now,” without raising any suspicion, but the truth was, his heart was doing dances and his stomach was singing a melody of fear.
He knows, he knows, he knows, Tsukishima’s brain yelled at him, increasing his distress.
Yamaguchi walked into his friend’s house as if it was his own. Most likely because he has been coming here since he was little, and he’s gotten over being uncomfortable being in a house that isn’t his own -- but then again it's probably because the house is Tsukishima’s; if it was anyone else’s, Yamaguchi wouldn’t be this comfortable. To him, Tsukishima is different. Tsukishima is special.
Yamaguchi strutted up the stairs and into Tsukishima’s bedroom, immediately heading to his closet and throwing a T-shirt at him as soon as he entered the room. Then he flopped onto Tsukishima’s bed, landing on his back. He pulled out his phone just as Tsukishima started putting on the shirt that was thrown at his face.
“Candid!” Yamaguchi yelled, snapping a picture of Tsukishima, who popped his head out of the shirt just in time for the photo, calling out, “Can what?” as he did. However he didn’t have enough time to put the shirt on fully, so the picture shows Tsukishima with a puzzled expression and a T-shirt hanging from his neck, chest and torso exposed, as well as his face since he hadn’t put his glasses back on. Yamaguchi admired the picture, giggling to himself.
Tsukishima looked at him from across the room, and instead of groaning like he usually does after Yamaguchi takes a surprise picture of him, he just smiled softly, thinking to himself, he has the cutest little laugh, I definitely like him. Who wouldn’t?
Yamaguchi felt Tsukishima looking at him, so he looked up and asked, what? To which Tsukishima just replied, nothing dork, still smiling as he joined Yamaguchi on his bed.
“So,” Tsukishima started, laying on his back just as Yamaguchi was, “what did you need to tell me?”
Yamaguchi let out a sound that said: oh yeah! Then he turned on his side to face Tsukishima after setting his phone down on the table next to the bed.
“It’s not a big deal, of course, because if it was I would be freaking out, probably, and you’d be all, ‘Tadashi, calm down,’” Yamaguchi rambled.
“The point, Tadashi,” Tsukishima requested, turning on his side too so that he could see Yamaguchi.
“Yes, yes,” Yamaguchi waved the had he wasn’t laying on up in the air, as if to clear the room of his jumbled thoughts, “the point is, I’m going away for a trip with my family, and I’ll be gone for a few days,” Yamaguchi finally announced, “So the next time I’ll be able to see you is,” he did some useless counting in his head, “in four days, tops.”
Tsukishima sat up, “Tadashi, we start high school in a week. Seven days, and you’re going on a trip? Why? Is it because your family doesn’t trust you to be alone? You can stay with me, you know,” Tsukishima said, too fast to allow Yamaguchi to cut in and answer a question one at a time.
“I know we start high school, and I’ll definitely be back here in time. My parents need to take care of some quick business somewhere, like, four or five hours away, and while we’re there my aunt wants to see me, so I have to go. It won’t be long, I’ll be back before you know it!” Yamaguchi reassured his friend with a big smile paired with a thumbs up.
Tsukishima groaned this time and flipped back onto his back, “Cool, now I need to find something to do for four days.”
“Oh, stop, you big baby,” Yamaguchi lightly pushed Tsukishima, smiling. He also turned back onto his back.
Tsukishima could tell his hand was inches away from Yamaguchi’s. If he just moved his hand a tad bit, they’d be touching pinkies, and maybe after that, they’d be holding hands. Tsukishima didn’t realize how much he wanted that to happen until now. He gently moved his hand just a bit, very, very slowly. Then, just as he was about to link his pinkie finger with Yamaguchi’s, Yamaguchi sat up, stretching his arms out while yawning. He announced that he had to get home to pack enough for the trip and that his parents would tear him a new one if he didn’t get it done soon. He said that he was leaving in three hours. Tsukishima’s face must have shown the disappointment he was feeling because then Yamaguchi sat back on the edge of the bed and felt his face. First his forehead, then he rested his hand on Tsukishima’s cheek, basically caressing his face.
“Are you feeling alright? You’ve been acting strange ever since I got here,” Yamaguchi stated, “plus, you usually don’t get this upset about me going on a trip.”
Tsukishima placed his hand over the one Yamaguchi had on his face without thinking. He looked up at Yamaguchi, “Why wouldn’t I be upset about you going away for four days?” Tsukishima asked, putting emphasis on ‘four days’, “What, do you think I wouldn’t miss you? I’m not that cold-hearted, Tadashi.”
For some reason, they were now whispering, as if someone else was nearby and they didn’t want anyone to hear them; as if they wanted the other to be the only person to ever hear the words they say.
“You’re not cold-hearted at all, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi replied softly.
The room was still, and the two were staring at each other, their hands remaining on Tsukishima’s cheek; one placed over the other. They were staring at each other — eye to eye — until Tsukishima noticed Yamaguhci’s eyes flicker down to his lips. Still, even if Tsukishima was brave enough to shoot up and quickly pull Yamaguchi’s body on top of his own, and find out what kissing his lips felt like outside of a dream, he couldn’t. He couldn’t because Yamaguchi stood up — very quickly, Tsukishima notes — and said how he really should get going.
It’s safe to say Tsukishima continued to be in a daze for the rest of the day, and now it wasn’t only about how he felt, it was now also about how Yamaguchi felt; how he might feel.
How he might feel the same as me, Tsukishima thought, only to have his brain yell back, as if he’d ever.
11:03 A.M.
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: THREE HOURS, SEVENTEEN MINUTES.
About three hours after Yamaguchi left, Tsukishima got a text from him.
2:20 P.M.
Tadashi
Just left! maybe I can get you something, so you won't be mad at me when I get back :) see you soon tsukki!
Tsukishima replied as soon as the text came through. On Yamaguchi’s phone, the text read off:
tsukki!!!
Yeah, maybe. You don’t have to, just be safe and hurry back.
A few seconds later, Tsukishima cautiously followed up with:
I’ll miss you. You better miss me.
To which Yamaguchi responded with:
I already do.
Tsukishima’s heart fluttered, as much as he hated to admit. He shut his phone off and decided to go read an old book on astrology he had on his bookshelf. He opened to the page on consolations and made a mental note to connect all of Yamaguchi’s freckles with a black sharpie when he got back. Maybe he’d even draw stars, just because he knew Yamaguchi would look insanely cute with stars drawn on his cheeks.
Tsukishima wanted to count each freckle on Yamaguchi’s face; he wanted to kiss each freckle on Yamaguchi’s face.
I can’t believe I already miss him this much, Tsukishima thought, which brought his mind back to Yamaguchi’s text.
“I already do.”
Tsukishima hid his bright red face in his book, trying to forget his text -- trying to stop the overflowing thoughts of Yamaguchi.
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: ONE DAY, SIX HOURS, FOURTEEN MINUTES.
8:14 P.M.
What was Tsukishima supposed to say? He wanted to text Yamaguchi, he really did, but he honestly had no clue what to say to him. ‘Hey, I miss you, also I want to kiss your face’? Tsukishima froze, well, it could work, Tsukishima considered, before shaking his head violently, no! No, that’s fucking stupid.
Tsukishima paced around his room, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Yamaguchi would text him. He probably won’t, though, and Tsukishima knows that. They’ve never really texted much since they’re usually hanging out, so the majority of texts that have been sent between the two of them include: I’m here, open your door, come outside, where are you, come over, listen to this song, or, sleepover tonight?
It took one more lap around his room for him to give up. Within the next few minutes, Yamaguchi’s phone dinged, and he noticed it right away, seeing as he was staring down at Tsukishima’s contact, also trying to think of what to say.
tsukki!!!
It’s weird not having you around.
Yamaguchi smiled, and started typing, magically knowing what to say now.
Tadashi
Yeah, I wish I could see you. It’s boring over here!!!
Tsukishima smiled at his phone, then it dinged again, making his heart skip a beat.
My aunt keeps telling me how tall I’ve gotten, imagine what she would say if she saw you!! But really, I’d rather listen to you give me a lesson on dinosaurs than talk to her right now.
tsukki!!!
That can be arranged. Do you want to call tonight?
Yamaguchi’s stomach twisted, he didn’t think they’d actually ever call each other. Tsukishima has never been the one to call, or even answer calls. It even took a while to even convince him to start texting Yamaguchi more often, and he still only does it sparingly.
Nevertheless, it’s safe to say that due to Tsukishima’s recent realization, he’s going to have a hard time not texting Yamaguchi -- not that Yamaguchi is aware of this yet.
Either way, he knew Tsukishima didn’t mean he was going to call him to give him a “Lesson on dinosaurs,” over a phone call, though if that’s what it meant to talk to Tsukishima he'd probably comply one-hundred percent. So, his smile grew bigger, and he typed away.
Tadashi
Yeah, I do.
On the other side of the phone, five hours away, Tsukishima smiled as big as he ever has -- and probably ever will -- and pumped his fist up in the air, letting out a small but excited, yes! Then he became aware of what he just did and cleared his throat, looking around to make sure no one saw him do that.
Act cool, he thought, act...cool.
tsukki!!!
Tonight at 9 pm?
Tadashi
Tonight at 9 pm.
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: ONE DAY, SEVEN HOURS, ONE MINUTE.
Tsukishima’s phone rang, and needless to say, he panicked.
9:01 P.M.
Twenty minutes before nine, Tsukishima searched the internet for… well, for tips. Though before that, he needed to decide his goal.
Tsukishima’s like that; he needs to have a clear goal in his mind before forming a plan.
As of right now, his goal could be one of two things. One, keep a calm, cool conversation with Yamaguchi. Two, and he hates this word, flirt with Yamaguchi. He decided on two, seeing as he probably wouldn’t be able to be calm and cool anyway.
He then found an article titled, Flirting on the Phone -- For Newbies.
Step One: Do not, not not not, answer the phone as soon as it rings, ladies! Make him wait, it’ll keep him interested, and it’ll keep you seeming a little less desperate. It is a must! Count to ten, twenty if you can! You got this, girl!
Now, Tsukishima didn’t exactly enjoy being referred to as a woman but seeing as this article was the top result and has very good comments, it was his best bet. So when the phone rang, he stood up and counted to ten in his head. Then, and only then, did he take a seat in the chair in front of his desk and reach for his phone, hands shaking slightly.
He pressed the green button lit up on his screen, and put the phone to his ear.
“Hey, Dashi,” Tsukishima’s face lit up in embarrassment, “Dashi?!” he mouthed to himself, putting his face in his free hand. He did it though, step two was done.
Step Two: Answer the phone, easy enough so far, right? Good. Now, call him by some spontaneous nickname, that you’ve never called him. Does he already have a nickname? Come up with a new one! Make him feel special, make up a name that only you have called him so that there’s something between only the two of you now. Now: nickname as in play on his name, not a cutesy, couply nickname. No “Handsome,” or “Bunny,” just a fun play on their name! Be casual about it. Don’t make a big deal about it, and it’ll be sitting in his mind for hours after that call.
He heard Yamaguchi giggle, “Hey, Tsukki,” he said warmly; Tsukishima’s chest ached.
“So,” Tsukishima started, fiddling with a pen on his desk, “be honest, how much do you miss me right now? It just has to be a lot, right? I mean, damn Tadashi, how are you even managing without me?”
Step Three: Keep the conversation playful. Not too serious, but don’t sit there and talk about how your favorite color is green, or how much you just adore pencil skirts. Joke around! Hey, and if you’re up for it, joke in a way that makes it seem like he’s the one crushing on you. Be confident about your presence in his life!
He heard Yamaguchi let out a loud, short laugh, “Gosh, Kei, I don’t even know how I’m surviving over here! If I’m being honest, I’ve had like, ten near-death experiences so far! If only you, my prince charming, were here!” Yamaguchi followed the joke.
Tsukishima smiled, putting his feet on his desk and leaned back into his chair, “Oh, yeah?” Tsukishima let himself laugh, not bothering to hold it back. The line went silent.
“You know,” Yamaguchi started, “I saw a puppy that looked just like you today. He even had a mad face!”
Tsukishima laughed and said something like, oh did you now? To which Yamaguchi giggled and replied with, I did! I really did!
Step Four: Don’t let him off easily. Stay on the call, create intimacy, talk for hours about useless things, or about deep things. Anything, really. Don’t call him just to hang up thirty minutes later. Call him so that you talk for hours and one of you falls asleep on the phone, or both of you do. Soon, they’ll realize what they feel for you isn’t as simple as friendship, just as you did. Good luck to you, and remember, if he doesn’t see how great you are, someone else will. Find the one that will love you to the very end, because if you’re reading this all the way through, it shows how much you’ll do for the one you love!
Yamaguchi and Tsukishima stayed on the phone for four hours, until Yamaguchi had fallen asleep. Goodnight, Tadashi, sleep well, Tsukishima had whispered into the phone before hanging up and holding his phone to his forehead.
1:09 A.M.
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: TWO DAYS, ONE HOUR, THREE MINUTES.
3:23 P.M.
Tsukishima is sitting in his living room watching a movie that he’s already seen twice. The first time he saw it was in theaters with Yamaguchi, the second was when Yamaguchi came running to his house shouting, they were selling the movie on DVD! It was fourteen dollars, but I bought it anyway, so we could watch it! Come on, let's put it on!
After that, Yamaguchi said he'd keep the movie at Tsukishima’s place, so they could watch it at sleepovers. Tsukishima didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just take the movie with him, since he bought it and they have sleepovers at Yamaguchi’s house as well, but he decided to keep his trap shut and agree to the terms since Yamaguchi seemed set on it. Also because Yamaguchi was smiling widely when he said he wanted to keep the movie disc at Tsukishima's house, and Tsukishima couldn’t say no to a happy Yamaguchi, but he wouldn’t admit that.
He also wouldn’t admit that he was watching this movie because he missed Yamaguchi, because admitting that meant thinking about Yamaguchi, which not only meant missing him more, but also having to think about his feelings for Yamaguchi.
He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to relax, and then his phone buzzed.
Tadashi:
Attachment: 1 Image
Look, tsukki! The woman with the dog I was talking about came back today, and let me take a picture of the dog! He looks just like you!
Tsukishima stared down at the picture, and yes, the dog did look like him, in some strange way.
tsukki!!!
That dog looks nothing like me, you must miss me so much that you’re starting to see me in animals.
Tsukishima smirked, hah, beat that, he snickered to himself, waiting for Yamaguchi’s reply.
Tadashi
Send me a selfie.
Tsukishima had to look up what a selfie was, and once he realized what it was, he snapped a picture of himself, not making any attempt to look attractive. Until he realized that this picture was going to Yamaguchi, that is. So, he deleted the picture and tried again, and again, and again. In the end, it took him three minutes and twenty-six ‘selfies’ to send a picture to Yamaguchi.
tsukki!!!
Attachment: 1 Image
After that, two minutes passed. Then three, then four. Tsukishima texted again.
Well? Are you going to tell me why I needed to send you a picture of myself?
Yamaguchi answered almost immediately.
Tadashi
The owner of the dog says you do look like the dog, I win, talk to you later!
‘Talk to you later’? Tsukishima read over his text a few times, ‘ Talk to you later’? We just started talking though?
Tsukishima was going to text him back, asking something like: later? Why not now? Or, are you busy, or something? But he didn’t -- he thought it over and led himself to believe he was becoming a bother to Yamaguchi, and instead kept his reply short.
tsukki!!!
Yeah. Talk to you later.
Though, on the other side of the phone, five hours away, Yamaguchi was staring at Tsukishima’s selfie; he was mesmerized. He pressed down on the picture and clicked save image.
3:47 P.M.
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: TWO DAYS, EIGHT HOURS, TEN MINUTES.
10:10 P.M.
Tsukishima’s day didn’t get any better. Actually, it only got worse, but that was his own fault. After convincing himself that he was a bother to Yamaguchi, Tsukishima didn’t text him again. Though, Yamaguchi didn’t text him either, so that only proved, in Tsukishima’s mind, that he really was only an inconvenience to Yamaguchi. Then, with that thought, came several others. Thoughts such as: what did I do wrong? Or, have I always been an annoyance for him?
Tsukishima was in bed now, unable to sleep. He felt uncomfortable; as if he was missing something. What was he missing? What could he possibly be missing right now?
Yamaguchi came to mind just as his phone dinged.
Tadashi
goodnight, tsukki.
Tsukishima smiled down at his phone, his chest warm. He felt dumb for smiling so big over something as minor as this, but he didn’t care too much. The text made him happy -- insanely happy.
tsukki!!!
Goodnight, Tadashi.
Tsukishima wanted to add something more, something like I miss you so fucking much, or , hurry up and come back to me already. Maybe even something as small as sleep well, or just a heart emoji, seeing as whenever he’s texting his mother she likes to use them.
He didn’t, though.
10:21 P.M.
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: THREE DAYS, THREE HOURS, SIX MINUTES.
5:06 P.M.
One time, Tsukishima overheard girls in his class talking about social media stalking. He was intrigued when he heard one of them use that term, so he kept listening. Apparently, what they referred to as social media stalking was pretty self-explanatory; it was simply when one person went onto another person’s social media platform and looked through everything said person has ever posted on there. Tsukishima found that weird, thinking, why would one ever feel the need to do something so strange? He then went on to claim to himself that he would never do such a thing. He is now claiming that doing such a thing might be somewhat acceptable, seeing as he was scrolling through Yamaguchi’s Instagram.
That ones cute, Tsukishima smiled to himself as he stared at a selfie Yamaguchi posted onto his Instagram a few weeks ago. He, dangerously, kept scrolling. Then, his phone dinged loudly and he got so frightened that his phone got sent into the air. He cursed at himself for keeping the sound on his phone turned on, but also admitted to himself that he probably shouldn’t be social media stalking Yamaguchi’s social media. He picked his phone up and saw that the ding was a text from Yamaguchi, which, while making him happy, also made him paranoid. He made a mental note to look up if people can see when you stalk their social media.
Tadashi
Just thought you should know that, as of right now, I am packing to leave tomorrow
Tsukishima could feel himself get excited -- too excited. Though to be fair, Yamaguchi was still his friend, crush or not, so it's normal for Tsukishima to be excited to see him again, to a certain extent, of course.
tsukki!!!
What time will you be home?
Yamaguchi’s reply came within a minute, making Tsukishima smile because he pictured Yamaguchi on his phone in an attempt to put off packing.
Tadashi
My parents say four pm tomorrow if everything goes according to plan!
Everything better go according to plan, Tsukishima thought.
tsukki!!!
Good. Text me tomorrow when you leave and when you’re almost here. I’ll wait outside for you.
Tadashi
Alright! See you soon, Tsukki!!
tsukki!!!
Yeah, see you soon.
-- and this time, Tsukishima let himself add something more.
tsukki!!!
Just one more day. I really miss you, you know.
On the other side of the phone, five hours away, Yamaguchi smiled and took a deep breath in, letting a shaky one out.
Tadashi
I know. I miss you too. A lot. Too much.
Yamaguchi’s nerves got the best of him, so before sending the message he added,
One more day!!
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: FOUR DAYS, ONE HOUR, THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES.
3:37 P.M.
Everything did not go according to plan. Yamaguchi was set to be home by four, but it was twenty-three minutes until four and he hadn’t heard anything from Yamaguchi. Not a single text or call, and to be honest, Tsukishima was getting worried. So worried that he decided to pick up his phone and call Yamaguchi, without texting him to say he was doing so beforehand.
The phone rang once, twice, three times.
“Okay, mom! Just- just hold on! Hello?” Yamaguchi answered.
“Hey, what’s going on? You don’t sound like you’re in a car,” Tsukishima said, trying to sound casual.
“Ha,” Yamaguchi breathed out, “Yeah, we went to start the car this morning, and it just, fuck, I don’t know, broke down? So after that we put all our bags and shit back in our room, which sucks because now we have to pay more for our room seeing as we didn’t leave when we said we would, and we called the closest car shop, asking if anyone could come to take a look at our car,” Yamaguchi sounded stressed, it didn’t take a genius to realize that though, “and they told us no! As if it isn’t their fucking job to do exactly that! They told us they were too busy to send anyone to us, and that if we wanted a check we would need to take our car to them, but our car won’t fucking drive! Which is why we needed them in the first place!”
“Fuck, what are you guys going to do? I could ask my mom to…” Tsukishima started to offer.
“No, no, it’s fine. My mom got them to agree to come down here as soon as they were free, but they are making us pay extra, which pisses me off, but there’s not much we can do,” Yamaguchi sighed.
Tsukishima then heard a woman call for Yamaguchi in the background, and Yamaguchi yelled back, alright, I’m coming!
“I’m sure I’ll be back soon, alright? If not today, then tomorrow for sure. I’ll see you soon, okay Tsukki?” Yamaguchi reassured, “Okay?”
Tsukishima sighed, “Okay.”
Yamaguchi hung up, and Tsukishima fell back onto his bed.
Soon, Tsukishima thought, I’ll see him soon, not a big deal.
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: FOUR DAYS, EIGHT HOURS, TWENTY MINUTES.
10:20 P.M.
Big deal. It was a big deal.
It's been hours -- hours -- and Tsukishima was back to complete radio silence from Yamaguchi. Sure, he might seem dramatic or stupid for missing him this much, but he didn’t care. He wanted to see Yamaguchi and hug him, and never let go; because soon, he’d have to let go. Or maybe, Yamaguchi will want him to let go. Maybe Yamaguchi will find out how much Tsukishima likes him -- find out the way Tsukishima likes him -- and he will yell and curse at him, and scream that he never wants to see someone as disgusting as Tsukishima again.
Would Tsukishima be able to handle that? Would he be able to handle losing his best friend, and possibly, his first love?
That’s dumb, Tsukishima scoffed, I’m not in love with him.
Tsukishima’s phone dinged.
Tadashi
Just left. Go ahead and get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise.
Tsukishima stared down at the text message.
I am not in love with him. That’s dumb, I just realized I liked him a few days ago, being in love with him isn’t possible. I’m just a stupid kid! I’m not in love with him!
Tsukishima read the text again -- again, again, again.
Right?
TIME WITHOUT YAMAGUCHI: FOUR DAYS, 13 HOURS, TWENTY-TWO MINUTES.
3:22 A.M.
Tsukishima was still awake when he heard a car near his house. He jumped to look out his window, and he saw it was Yamaguchi. He grabbed his phone as fast as possible.
tsukki!!!
You’re home?
Tadashi
Yeah haha, going to go to sleep, we are all exhausted.
Tsukishima’s fingers hovered over his phone, but he typed out a risky message anyway. Maybe it was the lack of sleep.
tsukki!!!
Come over. You can sleep at my place.
Tsukishima typed out another text.
You did promise to see me.
A few moments later, Yamaguchi texted to say he’d be over in a few minutes, and that his parents said it was fine with them. Then, after a few minutes, Tsukishima got another text, telling him to open his front door.
“Hey,” Yamaguchi whispered, he looked burnt out.
“Hey,” Tsukishima whispered back, smiling down at him.
Yamaguchi moved past him, going up to his room, “Let’s watch the movie,” Yamaguchi called out.
When Tsukishima came back into his room with the movie DVD in hand, Yamaguchi had already made his way onto Tsukishima’s bed. He was leaned against the wall and curled up in Tsukishima’s blankets, eyes droopy. Tsukishima put the movie on and sat down next to him, and it was probably the sleepiness, but Yamaguchi immediately curled up next to him, his eyes on the television.
About thirty minutes into the movie, Yamaguchi was asleep. Tsukishima had muted the movie, just so he could sleep a little better. Tsukishima was wide awake, staring down at Yamaguchi, who had his arms wrapped loosely around Tsukishima’s waist; Tsukishima felt his heart break, just a little.
He knew that Yamaguchi wouldn’t be with him forever -- he always knew that. But he just figured it’d be growing apart, or one of them deciding to move after high school, and the distance not working out. He never would have thought that it would be because right before high school started, he realized his feelings for his best friend and ended up losing him due to his stupid, selfish feelings.
Yamaguchi shifted a little, making it so his hand was now on top of Tsukishima’s; and that did it for Tsukishima. Days of stress and heartache were pouring out, spilling everywhere. Tsukishima was crying, crying! He felt ridiculous as he made his way off of his bed, stumbling over to his door, holding onto the wall for support. He covered his mouth as tears sped down his cheeks.
“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi mumbled as he sat up, “Where’d you go?”
Tsukishima slid down the wall next to his bedroom door, “I’m just getting some water, go back to sleep,” Tsukishima’s voice was quivering, so much so that Yamaguchi sat up completely as soon as Tsukishima started speaking.
“Are you crying?” Yamaguchi asked as he got out of the bed, walking over to Tsukishima, “What’s going on?”
Tsukishima shook his head to tell him, no, not trusting himself to speak again. Though it did no good, seeing as Yamaguchi crouched down in front of him and held his hands.
“Kei, tell me what’s wrong,” Yamaguchi wasn’t asking anymore, but he wasn’t demanding either. He was just worried, and he wanted to know what he needed to do immediately.
Tsukishima shook his head again but was stopped by Yamaguchi starting to ask him what was wrong again. Halfway through Yamaguchi’s sentence, Tsukishima lost any sense of control he had left.
“I’m in love with you!” Tsukishima sobbed out, “I’m in love with you,” he said again, whispering this time. Everything went silent, the only noises in the room being Tsukishima’s unsteady breathing. Yamaguchi finally spoke up.
“So then why are you crying?” He asked.
Tsukishima squeezed his eyes shut, tears rolling down his cheeks again.
“Because, you don’t feel the same, and you’re my only fucking friend, and you probably think I’m weird now, so you’re gonna never want to see me again, and I’m scared without you. So fucking scared , Tadashi. I couldn’t even last four days!” Tsukishima looked back at Yamaguchi, only to see he was smiling.
“Idiot,” Yamaguchi giggled, “giant idiot.”
Yamaguchi moved his hands to Tsukishima’s face, wiping his tears away as he shook his head, still smiling. Then, without any words, he kissed Tsukishima. It was wet and messy, and Tsukishima didn’t kiss back for the first few seconds, but it was good enough for both of them. It was, and Tsukishima wouldn’t ever be caught saying this, perfectly imperfect.
They broke apart, and Yamaguchi let his hands linger on Tsukishima’s face.
“I love you, too. You don’t see me crying about it, and I’ve liked you for years!” Yamaguchi stood up, holding his hands out of Tsukishima to grab, “Amateur.”
Tsukishima smiled as he took ahold of Yamaguchi’s hands.
“Can I sleep now, you big baby?” Yamaguchi smiled up at Tsukishima, causing the taller boy to let out a laugh and shake his head.
“Yeah, you can sleep,” Tsukishima kept smiling, “but you’ll have to sleep next to me.”
Yamaguchi got comfortable on the bed, “Deal,” he mumbled before patting the space next to him, silently telling Tsukishima to lay his ass down and go to sleep.
Tsukishima got comfortable next to Yamaguchi and hugged him tightly.
4:15 A.M.
BONUS
“What over-dramatic idiots,” Tsukishima groaned as he stared at Kageyama and Hinata have a make-out session, completely unaware of their surroundings, “can’t you just say ‘I like you,’ and move on?”
Yamaguchi looked up at him, “You cried when confessing to me,” Yamaguchi reminded him, “at a sleepover, at four in the morning,” he added.
Tsukishima froze, unsure of how to respond to being called out, “Whatever, you love me,” he continued walking, only to turn back around and hold out his hand for Yamaguchi to grab.
Yeah, Yamaguchi thought, grabbing Tsukishima’s hand, I do love you.