Chapter Text
Klaus Hargreeves created group chat, ‘Broskis’.
Klaus Hargreeves added Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves and Number Five.
Klaus Hargreeves changed their name to ‘DJGHOST’.
Klaus Hargreeves changed Luther Hargreeves name to ‘mOoN’
Klaus Hargreeves changed Diego Hargreeves name to ‘batman’
Klaus Hargreeves changed Allison Hargreeves name to ‘divorce’
Klaus Hargreeves changed Number Five’s name to ‘killer bean’
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Chat: ‘Broskis’
Current Members: 5
Time: 2:29AM
DJGHOST: what’s up bitches
batman: klaus are you drunk
DJGHOST: why no my friend this is one of my late night antics
DJGHOST: I have a bingo board of antics, one of them says family reunion so here I am
mOoN: Klaus, you named Allison ‘Divorce’.
DJGHOST: I think one of the bingo squares was to give everyone a funny name
batman: fr I wasn’t expecting this kind of reunion
DJGHOST: yeah sitting on my bed with a glass of bourbon doesn’t seem like the way I imagined we’d meet again..
DJGHOST: oop-
mOoN: Klaus!
killer bean: what the fuck.
DJGHOST: ahh our youngest customer
DJGHOST: how are you doing today small bean
killer bean: call me that again and I’ll rip your fucking eyes out klaus
batman: hi five
killer bean: why am I speaking to you idiots again
divorce: ?????!!!!!!!
mOon: We may have startled Allison out of bed, everyone
batman: oop
DJGHOST: yo yo yo allison
divorce: what is this?? Klaus is that you??
batman: ;p
DJGHOST: It’s a family reunion, and it’s permanent because the only person I have to hang out with is Ben
mOoN: Klaus, Ben is dead!
batman: he might be like casper tho
killer bean: klaus are you saying you can see Ben?!
DJGHOST: I fell inside the trash can 💀 💀 💀
DJGHOST: yeah brb I’ll go get him
divorce: it’s 2AM
batman: I stay up all night watching soap operas though so-
mOoN: Klaus, get out of the trash can you could catch something!
batman: Luther shut up bitch let him do his thing
DJGHOST HAS ADDED BEN HARGREEVES TO THE CHAT
DJGHOST CHANGED BEN HARGREEVES NAME TO: waffles
waffles: hello 👋
batman: holy shit
mOoN: Klaus must be faking it, guys.
divorce: it’s 2am Allison anything is possible
waffles: lol
killer bean: Ben is that you?
waffles: yep
killer bean: good to see you
waffles: you too five :)
killer bean: 😊
DJGHOST: is five showing... affection?!
he has emotions?! he isn’t a stone cold sarcastic little bitch?!
killer bean: I like him because he’s not brain dead like the rest of you
DJGHOST: #offended
waffles: sorry I was afk
DJGHOST: how the fuck were you afk what were you even doing
waffles: eating burritos 🌯
DJGHOST: I need to find you a full time babysitter
mOoN: Ben if that is you, it’s good to see you. We all missed you very much.
DJGHOST: apart from vanya lol
batman: klaus we don’t talk about her remember?
divorce: Diego-
DJGHOST: why don’t we add her? she’s pretty fun when she’s not all murdery 💀
mOoN: Klaus, Vanya almost killed everyone here at least twice, Shes extremely dangerous and unpredictable, has killed countless people, and you want to add her to the family group chat?!!
DJGHOST: I’m drunk so the pain will fade away by morning
mOon: Klaus I’m warning you-
batman: klaus don’t
divorce: it isn’t a good time for this klaus
killer bean: I don’t mind tbh I can just jump back to when this chat didn’t exist 10 minutes ago if things get too spicy
DJGHOST: if five agrees, it overrules everyone else because he’s smart
killer bean: ☺️
DJGHOST: ok I’m doing it
mOoN: NO!
DJGHOST ADDED VANYA HARGREEVES TO THE CHAT
DJGHOST CHANGED VANYA HARGREEVES NAME TO: rasputin
rasputin: bitch-