Chapter Text
If Ben had his way, he would avoid crowds for the rest of his life. He would spend his days in quiet places. Just him, a mug of green tea, and a considerable pile of books.
That’s what he had always wanted for as long as he could remember.
And then Rey had come into his life.
Rey, who loved to sing along to animated movies with her friends. Rey, who blasted bubbly pop music in the garage where she worked as a mechanic. Rey, who could make friends with the person in front of her in line at the grocery store.
It was solely because of her that they had even become friends. If the onus had fallen on Ben’s shoulders, he’d have remained awkwardly silent; too shy—too intimidated to move beyond ‘hello’. It had taken him a while to come to terms with their friendship, even months into it. A girl like her—a guy like him… they weren’t exactly two peas in a pod.
And yet she’d burst into his world and torn down the walls he’d built around himself brick by brick until he hardly recognized the relatively happy person he’d become.
They’d met the first week of their freshman year at Chandrila University, placed together as lab partners for the semester in Physics 110. He’d been in a foul mood that day, forced to sit through hour after hour of ice breaker activities until he wanted to punch the wall and lock himself in his room with his dog-eared copy of On The Road .
Then Rey walked over, dressed head to toe in the brightest assortment of clothes he’d ever seen with an even brighter smile on her face. He was immediately intrigued by her eyes—wide pools of soft hazel. They drew him in with their honesty and kindness. But the thing he noticed the most was her unique hairstyle.
“It’s how my mum used to do it,” was all the information she gave up when Ben inquired about the three buns on the back of her head. A moment passed when Ben was sure he’d said the wrong thing. Like he always did. Her hazel eyes flashed with sadness, the corners of her mouth twitching. But whatever bothered her, she recovered quickly. “So how about the dining hall?” she gushed, a grin spreading across her face again. “Did you know that they have pizza every single day ?”
And although Ben didn’t think much of a dining hall that served variations of the same greasy pizza seven days a week, Rey’s joy was infectious. He found himself wrapped around every word she spoke as she chatted his ear off the rest of the hour.
By the time their professor dismissed them for the day, Ben was a goner.
It had taken him months to admit it and even longer than that to do something about it. But apparently everyone on campus knew that he was in love with his best friend, and after a pep talk from Armie and Rose and four shots of vodka, he finally had the courage to ask Rey on a date six months ago.
And she had said yes. And kissed him!
Of the dismally short list of all the things in his life that had gone well, asking Rey out was definitely at the top.
There was something different about Rey. Something special. Her presence in his life didn’t completely reverse his hermit-like habits, but she dragged him to enough hangouts and parties that he got used to the idea of having a social life.
But even some things were too much for him.
He still didn’t like crowded places or exhausting situations. He put up with them on Rey’s behalf, but they certainly weren’t his cup of tea.
And that left him with quite the conundrum. He loved to make Rey happy—lived for it, even.
But this might have been too much.
Rey wanted to go to Disneyland for her birthday.
Disneyland.
Not that she said so. She wasn’t exactly the type of person to ask for things.
That’s just how Rey was. It had taken him a long time to figure that out about her. Despite her outward appearance as an extroverted, bubbly social butterfly, Ben knew her to be incredibly timid when it came to vocalizing her wants. She often dismissed them or shrugged them off, saying that they didn’t matter.
It had been confusing for Ben at first, and he’d just forged ahead with his own wants for a time, assuming she just didn’t have strong opinions on what toppings she wanted on her pizza or what dorm she wanted to try to live in at room draw. He’d grown up around people with strong opinions and even stronger wills, and it made his head buzz with confusion whenever Rey didn’t seem to have either. But after two years as lab partners and friends and another six months of dating, he’d finally started to ‘speak Rey.’
Rey did express what she wanted. Just not out loud.
She did it with her eyes.
Ben could always tell her wants and needs by looking at those same eyes he had found so intriguing when they first met. He remembered the look he had seen in them on that day—the one occasion that she talked about her hair and her mom. They’d become melancholy, but only for a short while. Most of the time her eyes were bright and curious. And when she looked at something she wanted, like a pain au chocolat in the bakery case at the student union Starbucks, they practically sparkled.
He now made it a point to order one for her the second they made it up to the counter.
That’s exactly how she looked at Disneyland. Every time they drove past it on the Five, she’d stare out the window, her eyes locked on the tip of the Matterhorn. Sometimes it was with a wistful eye, but most of the time, it was with longing—a hunger, almost.
This didn’t go unnoticed on Ben’s part. He tried to ignore it at first, mostly because he really didn’t like Disneyland. The crowds and the over-the-top marketing and the waiting in line… those were all the things he hated most in the world.
But as time went on and his friendship with Rey morphed into something more , he found that the idea of making her happy greatly outweighed his resistance to making himself miserable for a day.
~*~*~*~
“What’s all this?” Rey tilted her head as she sat down at the two-person table in the dining hall. Her eyes were trained on the blue envelope he’d leaned against the salt and pepper shakers.
Ben wiped his sweaty palms against his dark jeans. “Well,” he said with a sheepish grin, “I happen to know that tomorrow is your birthday.”
Rey blinked. Ben watched her eyes closely as he waited for her to respond. Something akin to sadness flashed in them, but only very briefly. The next moment, her eyebrows raised in anticipation. When he said nothing, letting his gaze dart down to the envelope instead of getting a proper answer, they raised even more.
“Ben Solo, what’s going on?”
Though her tone was firm, the slight quirk at the corner of her lips told him that maybe he had done the right thing in surprising her.
“It’s your birthday present. I think this is something you wanted. I mean, I hope so, at least.”
“Ben, I don’t need anything—”
“Birthdays are about wants, not needs, Rey.”
She huffed. “Fine. I don’t want anything.”
“Please.” He offered her a small smile. “Just open it and then let me know if you still don’t want it.”
Brows now furrowed, she plucked the blue envelope from the table and slit it open, all the while her suspicious eyes never leaving his.
Ben held his breath as she reached inside and pulled out the ticket voucher he had printed out in the library earlier. His stomach was in knots. What if he had misread the whole thing and didn’t want to go to Disneyland? What if she thought it was too much and got angry that he spent about two-hundred dollars on this? She was very frugal, and—
“Ben?” Her voice barely crossed the table, it was so faint. She held the unfolded voucher in her shaking hand. Her hazel eyes were wide—wider than he’d ever seen them before. “Is this what I think it is?”
“Well if you think it’s Disneyland tickets, then yes.”
Maybe he should have said something more clever. He’d never been very witty. But then, neither had she. It was one of the reasons they worked so well together.
“Ben, I—this is— oh my god! ”
Rey jumped to her feet, ran around the table, and launched herself at him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she buried her head against his neck.
“Thank you!” she cried. “I’ve never been and I— wow!”
When Rey pulled back to arm’s length, Ben got another look at her eyes. They were alight with more joy than he’d ever seen in them before. And that was saying something. He simply smiled back at her, relishing in a job well done on his part. The anxious weight that had been sitting in his stomach for several days as he hemmed and hawed about this gift floated away, leaving him light and giddy.
When was the last time he had felt giddy?
You always feel giddy when it comes to Rey, a voice in his head answered.
“So you’ve never been?” he asked as she took her seat again and dug into her stir fry. “Didn’t you grow up in SoCal? I thought every kid went at least once. I went so many times, mostly with one nanny or another.”
Rey looked down at her plate. Ben could tell that she was trying to hide her face. She pushed the food around her plate a bit.
“Not every kid,” she mumbled. “I never got the chance.”
Ben blinked. For some reason, Rey’s words brought the heaviness in his stomach right back.
But almost immediately, her head snapped up, a smile lighting up her face again. The turnaround of her emotions nearly gave him whiplash. “But it’s wonderful you went so much as a kid. Gosh, you must know all about Disneyland! You’ll have to show me all your favorite parts!”
Ben bit back the urge retort with a sharp, ‘ What favorite parts?’.
“—I’ve heard the food is amazing! And that there’s mickey-shaped everything. And the rides are so much fun. And aren’t there fireworks? Unless—”
She drew back again, her cascading words falling to an immediate trickle.
Ben frowned. “Unless what? What’s wrong?”
Rey fidgeted with the fork in her hand. “I just—the only other time I’ve been somewhere with rides, they charged for everything . Not just the admission fee. You had to pay for each ride and for seating to watch fireworks and things… I mean, the ticket is wonderful, but I can’t afford—”
“The only thing not covered is food and souvenirs. And don’t worry. I’ve got you.”
“You’ve… got me? Like, you’re paying for everything?”
“Yep.”
Rey’s eyes narrowed. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head. “What’s in this for you? I mean, you don’t exactly seem like the kind of guy who wants to take a picture with Mickey.”
“You’ve got me there.” Ben chuckled. “But seriously. Whatever you want. All day. You can have all the Mickey pretzels you want. We can ride Space Mountain twenty times. Whatever.”
Rey dropped her fork on her plate with a clatter and walked around the table to hug him again.
“Seriously, Ben. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
His stomach dropped a little, like it always did when Rey said things like this. One time she thanked him six times for buying her eggs and milk at the grocery store when she forgot her wallet at home. On another occasion, when he shared his umbrella with her during a rare downpour, Rey looked at him like he was made of pure sunshine.
There were plenty of things he didn’t know about Rey, and that was fine. But sometimes he wondered if she would ever open up enough to tell him why such simple acts of kindness seemed to mean everything to her.