Work Text:
Nie Huaisang gazed at Jiang Cheng, clad in splendid purple, his back ramrod straight, pride oozing from his every pore. It was a marvel and utterly too distracting. Then again, nobody actually expected him to take notice of what was being said around them. His presence was barely noticed in the shadow of his da-ge. Nie Huaisang preferred it that way.
He admired Jiang Cheng, there was no denying it. How he sat there, defying them all, knowing his worth and what he was accomplishing. He had every right to be proud about how he’d been rebuilding Lotus Pier. He had every right to be proud of the resilience of his people, the effort they were putting in.
Yet, Nie Huaisang also knew that his sentiment wasn’t shared by all. Respectful in Jiang Cheng’s face, insulting behind his back. That’s what most Sect Leaders seemed to be opting for right now. Nie Huaisang knew what they said in the corridors, the servants around them forgotten. He knew the looks that accompanied Jiang Cheng’s name. He knew, because his little birds told him. He always knew which way the wind was truly blowing.
And no doubt Jiang Cheng knew at least some of what was being said about him as well. Not all voices were as soft, not all looks as subtle. Still, despite it all, Jiang Cheng knew how to be proud.
Jiang Cheng glanced at him and Nie Huaisang gave him a silly little wave, pretending he’d been trying to get his attention all along. Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Jin Guangshang who was going on and on about something.
Nie Huaisang sighed and thought back to the Jiang Cheng he’d known at Cloud Recesses. How they’d goofed around, drinking and looking at porn. That version of Jiang Cheng was still there, somewhere. Nie Huaisang could see it on Jiang Cheng’s least guarded moments. But it was burned out by the horrors of war that Nie Huaisang had never seen and never wished to see. It was pressed down by a responsibility he had to shoulder way too young. It was destroyed by pain and grief and the loss of his brother. It was pressed down by a responsibility he had to shoulder way too young.
Nie Huaisang had his own ideas about Wei Wuxian. What his little birds told him simply didn’t add up with what was being said about him, nor what little Nie Huaisang had seen of him after the war. It was a front, no doubt, but Nie Huaisang drew a blank trying to figure out what it was supposed to hide. He knew for certain that Wei Wuxian wasn’t evil like he was portrayed. But Nie Huaisang knew he held no power in this place, so he kept his mouth shut. As long as his da-ge listened to him, everything would be fine.
Jiang Cheng was walking back to the quarters he had been assigned, using all his will-power not to stomp, not to clench his fists, not to curse. Did they think he wasn’t aware of his age? Of his lack of experience? Did they think he wasn’t faced with it every day when a question arose he didn’t have an answer to? When he saw how little of his Sect was left?
Were they truly senile enough to believe he didn’t notice them? Didn’t see the sneers and fake smiles? But to mention his parents? How dare they? How dare they?
“Cheng-xiong!”
Jiang Cheng resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He had been well aware of Nie Huaisang’s gaze on him for the better part of the unbearable discussion. He snorted. ‘Excuse for Jin Guangshan to gloat’ was a better title than calling it a discussion.
“Huaisang,” he answered curly, momentarily glancing sideways but not slowing down.
Nie Huaisang scurried up to him and walked alongside him, his fan in front of his face. After minutes of silence, Jiang Cheng got fed up.
“Any reason why you’re following me?” he snapped.
Nie Huaisang tilted his head at him and even with the fan, Jiang Cheng could see the long line of his neck. He decidedly looked away.
“You look tired, Cheng-xiong.”
“Well, you didn’t have to pretend to be listening to-” He stopped himself before he said something inadvisable in the middle of Koi Tower. “What do you want?” he barked instead.
“I want to keep you company, Cheng-xiong.”
Jiang Cheng snorted. “Yes, because I’m such good company.”
He was exhausted and well aware that it did little to improve his already chafing disposition.
“I’ve got porn,” Nie Huaisang whispered conspiratorially.
“I’ve got better things to do than look at your porn, Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng said, tilting his chin up. “I’ve got a Sect to run.”
Nie Huaisang bit his lip and it nearly undid Jiang Cheng. It should be illegal for any man to look that pretty. But Jiang Cheng clenched his jaw and ignored the flips his heart was making. He refused to show how he felt, just as he refused to show how tired he was, how overwhelmed, and how he wished his sister wasn’t spending so much time with the peacock. He could and would do this. On his own, if he had to.
With a snap, Nie Huaisang closed his fan, mischief evident in his eyes. He grabbed Jiang Cheng’s sleeve and started dragging him in another direction.
“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng protested. “What do you think you’re doing?”
He could have simply stopped, pulled himself free if he wanted to be vindictive. Nie Huaisang wasn’t anywhere near strong enough to overpower him. But Jiang Cheng had always been weak when it came to Nie Huaisang.
“Kidnapping you,” Nie Huaisang answered cheerfully. “You need the day off.”
“I can’t-” Jiang Cheng started.
“Yes, you can,” Nie Huaisang interrupted, still cheerful. “What will your Sect do when you collapse from overworking?”
“That won’t happen,” Jiang Cheng sniped, slowing down a little, making Nie Huaisang work for his insistence.
In response, Nie Huaisang switched to a different tactic.
“Cheng-xiong,” he whined, “I’m bored. You’re the only one here I can have some fun with. Please?”
Jiang Cheng caved when Nie Huaisang pouted. Weak. He was weak for the man. Before long, he found himself in Nie Huaisang’s room, drinking wine and eating peanuts. Nie Huaisang was chattering about inane things, but Jiang Cheng didn’t mind. He was more than happy to simply watch Nie Huaisang’s easy smiles, the way he used his fan to underline things, the exuberance in his movements. All things he didn’t have. All things he wanted.
“Oh!” Nie Huaisang suddenly exclaimed, the evening already well underway. “I promised you porn and here I am, talking and talking.”
He got up, suspiciously balanced for the amount of alcohol he’d consumed, and started bustling about.
“Don’t bother,” Jiang Cheng said.
“No, no, I promised.”
Jiang Cheng opened his mouth, then closed it again and chewed his teeth. He tried to come up with an excuse, any excuse, not to have to look at porn with Nie Huaisang. It was a bad idea. A very bad idea, as it only served to make Jiang Cheng want to do whatever he was looking at with Nie Huaisang. He’d never forgotten that one kiss they’d shared on a drunken night in Cloud Recesses, before the world had gone to hell.
“Here,” Nie Huaisang stated, dropping a booklet on the table and flopping back down next to Jiang Cheng. He was sitting a lot closer than was absolutely necessary. “I didn’t bring the good stuff in case it got lost here,” he elaborated. “But it’s still some fun, no?”
Jiang Cheng managed to nod when Nie Huaisang looked up at him. Too close. He was sitting way too close. But Jiang Cheng couldn’t scoot away, not without revealing his unease, and that was something he refused to do.
He dutifully looked down when Nie Huaisang opened the booklet. The images were almost chaste, especially for Nie Huaisang’s taste. Jiang Cheng stared at them. More things he wanted. More things he’d probably never have.
Nie Huaisang let out a small sigh as he turned to a page of two people kissing. Somehow, while Jiang Cheng had been distracted, he’d crowded even closer. Jiang Cheng was too aware of the warmth of his body, of the smell of whatever oil he’d rubbed into his hair.
“Do you still remember, A-Cheng?” Nie Huaisang softly asked. “That one night?”
Jiang Cheng looked at him, finding Nie Huaisang staring up at him, all dark eyes and soft lips. He swallowed, unable to speak. His heart stuttered as Nie Huaisang turned slightly to place a hand against his chest.
“I never forgot,” Nie Huaisang whispered. “Is it wrong of me that I want it still?”
There was nothing Jiang Cheng could do but stare at Nie Huaisang; like a deer caught in headlights, unable to decide whether he wanted to run or forever look at the alluring creature that was as good as in his arms.
Nie Huaisang smiled a little. “I want you to kiss me, Cheng-xiong,” he murmured.
Jiang Cheng lost it. Weak. He was absolutely weak. But he barely managed to care as he wrapped his arms around Nie Huaisang and let himself fall backwards, first pulling Nie Huaisang on top of him, then switching positions as he pressed him into the floor.
Nie Huaisang shrieked and giggled. That joyous laugh of his that told exactly how sheltered he had been during the war. Jiang Cheng kissed it right out of his mouth, kissed him until the giggles turned into a moan that set his blood on fire.
Once, maybe once, he could have what he wanted.