Chapter Text
Yoongi has been a single father for over four years now, and they've been some of the best years of his life.
He doesn't think anything will ever quite top the way he felt when he held his daughter in his arms for the first time, crying but so so beautiful. He cried with her that day, as he looked at this wonderful little person that he'd helped bring into the world, and he'd cried again when his mother had taken one look at her new granddaughter and told him how incredibly proud she was.
But there have been other moments that have come close. Like when Yerim had said her first word at ten months old - it was 'duck', not 'dada' like he had hoped, but it was so cute that it really didn't matter - or on her first day of preschool when she'd hugged him as tight as she could and told him not to worry about her, running off excitedly to play with the other kids.
There's also the time when he'd received a job offer as an assistant editor for a magazine who were prepared to let him work from home some days, meaning he could spend more time with Yerim. It's a lot of work, but it's given him enough time and money to look after her on his own - he moved out of his parents’ house and into a nice two-bedroom apartment just before Yerim turned three. She'd wanted her bedroom painted pastel pink and he'd built her shelves so she could have all of her stuffed toys on display just like she wanted. Small though it was, it felt like they finally had a home of their own.
There have been bad days, as well. When Yerim was a baby, there were times when no matter what he did, he couldn't get her to stop crying. The moments when the pressure of being a new father had felt so intense and isolating that sometimes he hadn't been able to breathe, the fear of failing her hanging over his head, filling him with an overwhelming sense of dread.
Yerim had taken her first steps just before she turned one and Yoongi had managed to miss it because he'd been at a conference. His father had told him not to worry, that he was doing a great job, but he'd still cried that night because he'd felt like he was missing too much, that he wasn't doing enough.
On one occasion, when Yerim was two and a half, she'd had such a high fever that she'd passed out; he'd called an ambulance and the paramedics had told him that it wasn't his fault, that he did the right thing and she would be okay. She was completely better by the end of the week, back to her usual cheerful self, but he still felt like he'd failed her, somehow. That day he'd felt a kind of bone-deep terror that he hadn't even known existed. It was the most helpless he's ever felt in his entire life.
Sometimes it's a little lonely, raising a child on his own. He has his parents and his brother and his friends all ready to help out, of course, and he appreciates all of the support. Even so, sometimes he lies awake at night and wonders what it would be like to have someone with him. Not necessarily a mum or another dad for Yerim - he knows she doesn't need another parent to be happy. But he's 27 now, and he hasn't had a proper relationship since he left university at 21. Sometimes, he just wants someone to be with.
Dating is hard, though, especially as a young father like him. Most people suddenly lose interest when he mentions that he has a daughter, or don't want anything serious. There's also the fact that Yoongi can't bring just anyone into Yerim's life. He has to be picky and no-one ever seems quite good enough. So, even though he craves it from time to time, he's content with not having a relationship, with being alone. He's tired of trying to find the perfect partner who probably doesn't exist, anyway.
He still has days where he feels like he's not doing anything right, but it's getting better. He has other friends who are parents now: Taehyung and Seokjin, Kihyun, the single mothers from Yerim's school who added him to their group chat as an honorary member. Yerim is happy and healthy, so kind and smart and thoughtful. Her teacher always tells him what a pleasure she is to have in class, and every time it makes his heart swell with immense pride She's everything he could ever ask for and more, his entire world.
Yoongi has been a single father for over four years now and, though he's tired and overworked and a little out of his depth, he's happy with how his life has turned out so far.
Yoongi picks Yerim up from school at 3:15, as he does every Friday afternoon. It's a nice day, so he takes her out to the nearby park and lets her play with her friends for a while. When they're walking back home she tells him all about her day, about the games they played at playtime and how she had done some painting with Hyunjin that morning.
(She says she painted him, and Hyunjin painted her own dads, and that she'll bring hers home on Monday so he can put it on the fridge or his bedroom wall like he has with all of her other drawings. He tells her he can't wait.)
He holds Yerim's hand as they walk slowly down the corridor leading to their apartment. She's telling him excitedly about the book Mrs Bae read to them at the end of the day, something about a hungry crocodile, and Yoongi smiles down at her fondly. As they turn the corner, she suddenly stops talking, pulling on Yoongi's trouser leg instead. Her voice is timid when she speaks again, though a little curious. "Daddy, who's that?"
Yoongi looks up to see a tall young man standing with his back to them, right outside the apartment opposite theirs. He's surrounded by boxes, bending over to pick up a couple of them and walking into the apartment.
"He must be our new neighbour," Yoongi says quietly, squeezing her hand. She peers up at him through her eyelashes, big brown eyes wide and questioning. "Do you want to go say hello?"
She nods after a few hesitant seconds, so they walk closer to the open door, just as their new neighbour comes back out into the hallway. When he notices them he smiles brilliantly, with deep dimples and eyes all scrunched up, wavy brown hair flopping across his forehead. Yoongi is thrown a little by how gorgeous he is.
"Hi! I'm sorry for all the mess, I'm just moving in, as you can probably tell," he laughs, a little awkward, gesturing to all the boxes.
"Oh, it's fine, don't worry about it... I'm Yoongi, by the way, I live in 3B," he says awkwardly, but the other man smiles at him enthusiastically, holding his hand out in greeting. The dimples are back and Yoongi just thinks oh no, because he's always been weak for dimples, and the last thing he needs to worry about right now is having a crush on his (undeniably hot) new neighbour. Despite the inner turmoil, he takes the man's hand with a small smile of his own.
"Namjoon." The handshake lasts for a beat too long, Namjoon's eyes boring into his own, so intense that he finds himself averting his gaze with a small cough.
"It's nice to meet you, Namjoon."
"Likewise." Yoongi looks back at him and this time there's a small twinkle in his eye that flusters him even further. When Namjoon let's go of his hand, Yoongi laments the loss of warmth. His other hand is resting on Yerim's head, carding through her hair as she clings to his leg. Namjoon seems to notice the movement then, his eyes softening slightly as he looks down at her.
He crouches down to her level and offers her a friendly smile. "And who's this?"
Yerim looks up at him hesitantly, hands gripping his leg tighter. He nods encouragingly, though, so she looks back at Namjoon, voice small as she says "Min Yerim."
"Well, Min Yerim, it's very nice to meet you," he says, holding his hand out again for her to shake. Namjoon's hand dwarfs Yerim's in a way that makes Yoongi's stomach twist and he's a little mortified at his own reaction. Yerim giggles sweetly and burrows further into the side of Yoongi's leg.
"Do you need any help?" Yoongi asks after Namjoon stands back up, looking at the piles of boxes gathered around Namjoon's doorway. Namjoon politely declines his offer, saying it won't take him too long to get the rest of his stuff inside.
He bids them both goodbye with another charming grin, turning around to pick up two more heavy boxes. Yoongi watches the way Namjoon's arms strain against the fabric of his t-shirt as he lifts them and the feeling of oh no comes back in full force because Namjoon is exactly his type, and this kind of thing never bodes well for him.
A soft tugging at his trouser leg pulls him back to reality. He ruffles Yerim's hair with a chuckle, pushing down the weird feeling in his chest, and opens his front door, ushering her inside.
When he turns around to shut the door, Namjoon's looking back at him, an expression on his face that Yoongi struggles to interpret. He can feel his cheeks heating up, much to his embarrassment, and Namjoon winks at him before walking back into his own apartment, more boxes in hand. Yoongi promptly shuts the door and tries to get a grip of himself as he helps Yerim shimmy out of her coat. He's determined not to get his hopes up.
Every Sunday morning, Yoongi takes Yerim to the local library to attend her Story Time group, which always seems to be her favourite part of the week.
They started coming to these groups when Yerim was two because Yoongi wanted her to be able to spend more time with kids her age before she started school. Yoongi hadn't known many other parents at that point, so the only other kids she ever really spent time with were his cousins' children and the few kids who lived on his parents' street.
She'd always been a little shy, even back then, and she'd hidden behind Yoongi when the nice man who ran the sessions had said hello to her and asked for their names. After a couple of jokes from the man and a lot of reassurance from Yoongi, Yerim had gone to sit down on the carpet with the other kids.
She had come back at the end of the session with two other little girls at her side; Hyunjin, who was her age, and Jiwoo, who was a year older. Jiwoo had the same boxy grin as the pretty man at the front - Taehyung, he introduced himself as, with a small smile - and she'd asked very sweetly if they could all go to the park together.
Taehyung had told him all about his husband Seokjin and their two daughters as they'd pushed the girls on the swings. He worked at a daycare centre during the week and ran the Story Time group at the library every Sunday morning, while Seokjin worked as a chef at an expensive restaurant in the city. In return, Yoongi had told Taehyung about his job, about his parents and his life with Yerim. Yoongi was used to nosy questions about why Yerim doesn't have a mother, he still gets them now, but Taehyung hadn't asked. He'd just listened, with no judgement, and had easily changed the topic when he'd sensed that Yoongi was uncomfortable.
He's been friends with Taehyung and Seokjin ever since and, even after more than two years, Yerim rarely misses the Sunday morning Story Time sessions that Taehyung runs.
So, Yoongi and Yerim leave their apartment early on Sunday morning, as they do every week, and Yoongi tries to ignore the twinge of disappointment he feels when there are no signs of Namjoon in the hallway. It's ridiculous because he's only met the man once, but he can't deny that he's a little intrigued, that he'd quite like to get to know him, if given the chance.
After he locks the front door, he takes Yerim's hand in his and she drags him down the corridor. She's practically jumping up and down as they wait for the lift and he smiles at her excitement. Every week, she has the same reaction, but his heart clenches anyway when he sees her smile at him like that.
It's late morning by the time the session finishes and Yoongi ends up walking to the park with Taehyung and the girls. Once they get there, Jiwoo and Hyunjin run over to the seesaw, Yerim staying with him and Taehyung as she waits her turn.
"So what did you two get up to over the weekend?" Taehyung asks Yerim. She grins up at him, cheeks bunching up cutely. She's at the age now where she gets embarrassed when he tries to squish her cheeks, so he refrains with great difficulty.
"I made cupcakes yesterday."
Taehyung gasps, "you made them all by yourself?"
"Daddy helped me," she replies, giggling, and Yoongi rolls his eyes fondly. He remembers, vividly, Yerim mixing all the ingredients together after he'd weighed them, and how she'd managed to get flour everywhere in the process. Yoongi wasn't the best at baking himself, but somehow the cupcakes had turned out okay. Yerim had eaten one after dinner and had been hyper for the rest of the evening, but it's worth the way she's smiling up at them at this moment.
"I bet," Taehyung laughs, "anything else?"
Yerim pauses a minute, tiny face scrunching up as she thinks. "Daddy says we have a new neighbour. He's really big. Bigger than you."
Taehyung raises an eyebrow. "Really?" He lifts Yerim up above his head and spins her around as she giggles uncontrollably. "This big?" She nods as he gently sets her back down on the ground. "Is he nice?" Taehyung asks, receiving an enthusiastic nod in response. Jiwoo calls her name then, saying that it's her turn on the seesaw, and Yerim promptly sprints off towards her. He feels Taehyung looking at him and groans internally, already anticipating his next words.
"New neighbour, huh? Is he cute?"
"How do you know he's not, like, ancient?"
Taehyung hums. "I don't. But that doesn't answer my question." Yoongi sighs, but he assumes the heat in his cheeks must give him away, as Taehyung grins at him.
"Interesting."
"Shut up."
"Hm."
"We've only met him once. And it was barely a conversation," he says, lowering his voice. "For all I know he's an asshole." Yoongi doesn't even believe himself. He can still see Taehyung's grin from the corner of his eye. "He's probably straight, anyway." He really, really hopes not, even though he doubts anything would happen between them either way. Taehyung gives him this smug, knowing look, like he can see right through him.
"Whatever you say."
They follow the girls over to the climbing frame in silence, Taehyung a little smug and Yoongi pretending to be fed up with him. Taehyung squats at the end of the slide and catches Hyunjin as she comes down it, picking her up and placing her back at the top so she can go again.
After another fifteen minutes or so, Hyunjin's starting to yawn and Jiwoo says she's hungry, so Taehyung decides it's time to take them home. Yerim is in Yoongi's arms, propped up on his hip, a little bit upset because she'd been too scared to go down the fireman's pole by herself. Yoongi promises her a cupcake when they get home for being so brave and that miraculously cheers her up. Yoongi rolls his eyes and presses a small kiss to the top of her head.
Taehyung calls his name before they part ways, saying, "why don't you invite your new neighbour round for dinner? You know, to welcome him to the area."
He almost lets out another heavy sigh, but then Yerim's lighting up, asking him "can we?" in an excited little voice, and Yoongi's always been a huge pushover when it comes to his angel.
"We'll see," he murmurs, hugging her closer to him. By the look on Taehyung's face, he knows Yoongi's given in this time.
For all his exasperated huffs and his overdramatic reluctance, Yoongi doesn't actually think it's such a bad idea. There's nothing wrong with making a new friend, after all.
By some twist of fate, just as Yoongi's rummaging around in his pockets for his front door keys, he hears Namjoon's door open behind him. He tries to ignore the slight pang of nerves in his chest and turns around to greet him, Yerim staying tucked into his side but not hiding this time. She seems to have taken quite a liking to their new neighbour - in comparison to the old, jaded man who used to live there, Namjoon is practically an angel, so he can't really blame her.
Namjoon says hello with a good-natured smile, and Yoongi nods his head politely in return, thoroughly unprepared for the sight before him. Namjoon looks like he's going for a run, dressed in a white, sleeveless top and black shorts that are a little too tight for Yoongi's mental and physical well-being. When he meets Namjoon's eye, he looks amused, and it occurs to Yoongi that maybe he wasn't as subtle about checking him out as he thought he was.
He's sure he'll lie awake tonight marinating in the humiliation of this moment, berating himself for being socially inept once again but, for now, he steels himself for what he's about to ask.
"I was actually wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner one night next week? You know, since you've just moved in, I figured it would be nice to, um. Get to know each other. Because we're neighbours." Yoongi shuts his mouth, vowing never to open it again in the presence of any beautiful men in order to preserve what little dignity he has left. Yerim is silent beside him, just watching them talk.
Namjoon laughs, booming and bright. "That sounds nice." He's pretty sure his sigh of relief is audible, which just adds to the embarrassment.
"Good, um. I'm actually busy tomorrow, but we can do Tuesday at about six, if that's okay with you?"
Yoongi shuffles slightly. Namjoon's eyes have that same strange twinkle from the first time they met and he still doesn't know what to make of it.
"I look forward to it." Namjoon is smirking at him and Yoongi can feel the tips of his ears burning under Namjoon's heavy stare. A few seconds of silence pass between them before Namjoon looks away, down at Yerim with a sweet smile and a wave goodbye as he makes his way down the corridor, away from where Yoongi stands in place, watching him go.
Shaking his head, Yoongi snaps himself out of it, pulling out his keys and unlocking the front door for Yerim. When he looks back, Namjoon is long gone, though the pleasant feeling in his chest still lingers.
At six o'clock on the dot, there are three sharp knocks at the front door. Yoongi dusts his hands off on the front of his apron as he makes his way to the door, swallowing his nerves as he opens it. Again, as seems to be a pattern when it comes to Namjoon, he's thoroughly unprepared for the sight before him.
Namjoon cleans up well.
Yoongi's only seen him in casual clothes so far, which he admittedly looked great in, but it's nothing compared to the Namjoon that stands at his door now. Tight, pale blue dress shirt tucked into black slacks, effortlessly styled hair and a charming grin on his face. Yoongi will never admit it - especially not to Taehyung when he inevitably asks for details tomorrow - but he may or may not swoon a little. A tiny bit. He honestly feels a bit underdressed.
Yoongi realises, belatedly, that they've been standing there staring at each other for longer than is usually deemed socially acceptable, so he clears his throat and steps aside to let Namjoon in.
"Hi," he says as Namjoon toes off his shoes, "you look... nice." Very articulate. He wonders if he'll ever stop embarrassing himself.
Namjoon turns around, just looking at him in silence for a moment, and Yoongi tries not to shuffle uncomfortably under the sudden attention. Namjoon meets his eyes again, his smile soft. "So do you. Green really suits you."
"Oh." Yoongi looks down at himself, at his dark green jumper and black jeans and the offensively bright yellow apron that he'd forgotten to take off before he answered the door. He screws his eyes shut for a second. "Thanks."
"I brought these by the way," Namjoon says, brandishing a paper bag that Yoongi hadn't even noticed him holding until this very moment. "I was going to bring wine but I wasn't sure whether you drink or not. And I figured it'd be better to bring something Yerim could have, too." He hands over the bag once they've walked over to the small kitchen diner. "They're brownies."
Yoongi peers inside the bag and, as expected, three delectable looking brownies are stacked neatly inside, smelling like heaven itself. "Did you make these?" He asks, interest piqued, but Namjoon just laughs as if that were the funniest thing he'd heard all day.
"God, no, I bought them from the bakery near my work. I would never subject you to my baking, believe me." Yoongi's about to reply when he hears quick footsteps approaching.
A few seconds later, Yerim appears around the corner, beaming up at them. Yoongi strokes her hair softly when she reaches him, returning her smile. "Did you wash your hands?" She nods enthusiastically, holding them up as if he'll be able to tell just from looking at them. He chuckles and pats her on the head as she goes to sit at the dining table, and he gestures for Namjoon to take a seat as well. It's obvious which is Yerim's place - she has a small cushion on her chair and a little placemat with multicoloured dinosaurs, a gift from Kihyun - so Namjoon ends up opposite her.
Yoongi sets the platter of homemade sushi and bowls of vegetables in the middle, quickly hanging up his apron before taking his own place at the head of the table between Namjoon and Yerim.
"It's all vegetarian, I hope you don't mind," he says as he serves Yerim her food. "Yerim's allergic to fish, so..." Namjoon waits until Yoongi's finished serving his own food until he takes some for himself. He finds himself smiling subconsciously.
"It's fine," Namjoon reassures, and as he takes his first bite of the sushi, his eyes bulge slightly. Yoongi hopes that's a good sign. "This is really good. You made this yourself?" He hums appreciatively when Yoongi nods.
"Daddy's really good at cooking," Yerim says proudly. She likes to boast about him, even when there's not much to boast about. "Not as good as Uncle Seokjin, though."
Yoongi scoffs, free hand held to his chest in mock offence. "That's not fair, your Uncle Seokjin is a chef," he huffs, Yerim giggling freely, not concerned in the least about making fun of Yoongi in front of their guest.
"Honestly, I think you could be if everything you make is this good. Though my cooking skills consist of, like, toast and white rice, so maybe I'm biased." Yoongi snorts unattractively at that. He attempts to hide it behind a cough, but by Namjoon's smirk, he knows it's too late. "What is your job, then, if you're not a chef? If you don't mind me asking."
"Oh, I work for a literary magazine. I'm one of the assistant editors." Namjoon's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
"Oh, wow, that's really cool. Do you write articles too?"
"I used to when I started out, but not so much anymore. I mostly just edit other people's stuff and get everything ready for printing." Yoongi's aware of how dull that sounds to most people - he's been told that more than once on awkward first dates. "Nothing too interesting, really."
Namjoon frowns at him and Yoongi doesn't like that, not one bit. "I meant it when I said it sounds cool. I used to love studying literature in high school, actually. Maybe I'll pick up a copy." People have said that before, as well, but he smiles nonetheless, because Namjoon seems sincere when Yoongi meets his eye.
"And do you know what you want to do? When you grow up?" Namjoon asks Yerim after a moment of comfortable silence. She lights up immediately.
"I want to be a writer like Daddy. Or a dancer," she enthuses between bites of sushi, cute round cheeks puffed out. Yoongi's heart aches a little.
"You'd be wonderful at either," he says, because she's always good at whatever she sets her mind to, even at such a young age. (Maybe he's biased.)
"That sounds very fun, Yerim. I always wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid," Namjoon laughs. "I don't think I'm really cut out for space travel, though. That and I hated studying physics at school."
"Don't even mention physics to me," Yoongi grimaces and Namjoon laughs even louder.
They eat in silence for a few minutes after that. Yoongi takes a long sip of water as he tries to think of something else to say, not wanting it to become too awkward. "What do you do then? If you're not an astronaut," he asks. Namjoon looks up at him and smiles brightly, dimples gracing his cheeks.
"I'm a personal trainer. That's why I moved here, actually. This apartment's a lot closer to work than my old one was."
Yoongi thinks back to his first meeting with Namjoon, when he'd been distracted by his frankly impressive biceps, and that actually makes perfect sense. He hums around his last bite of food, trying to stop thinking about that when Namjoon's sitting only a couple of feet away from him.
"What's a personal trainer?" Yerim asks quietly, wide-eyed.
Namjoon hums. "Do you know what a gym is?" Yerim nods - she's seen Taehyung and Seokjin's home gym a few times when they've visited their house. "Well, I work there helping people exercise."
Yerim nods again, looking contemplative as if she's processing very important information. They're all quiet for a few moments before Yerim looks back at Namjoon and says, in a very serious tone of voice, "cool."
Yoongi can see Namjoon trying to stifle a fond smile and he takes this opportunity to clear away all of the dishes, if only so he can hide his own laughter.
"You really didn't have to do all of this on your own," Yoongi says as he walks back into the kitchen to see Namjoon standing in front of the sink, a clean pile of dishes stacked up beside him.
"It's the least I can do," Namjoon replies, voice low as not to wake Yerim. Yoongi had put her to bed not long after they'd eaten dessert once she'd started to drift off to sleep in her seat. She had protested a bit at first, but by the time Yoongi was turning her bedroom light off she was fast asleep.
Yoongi hums. "Thank you, anyway."
"I should be the one thanking you," Namjoon murmurs, shaking his head. He dries off his hands after setting the last plate aside. "I had a really great time tonight."
Namjoon turns towards him with another one of his dazzling smiles. His eyes flicker briefly across Yoongi's face, smile widening ever so slightly as he makes his way closer, until Yoongi can smell the faint scent of his cologne. "You've got a little..." He trails off, reaching up with a dry corner of the hand towel to brush across the corner of Yoongi's lips. He feels Namjoon's knuckles tickling his cheekbone with the movement and tries to force his eyelids not to flutter. "There."
The air between them is tense and Yoongi... Yoongi knows he has rules. Rules about dating, rules about taking things slow, about always putting Yerim first, no matter what. She gets attached to people so easily and he'd hate to see her hurt, he'd hate to be the cause.
He knows deep down that she's not the only one who gets attached too quickly. And it's that part of him that says maybe this time you can have this, it's that part of him that says maybe it's okay to give in, just this once. But he knows he shouldn't.
Namjoon must see something in his eyes then, because he's leaning back with a small smile, placing the towel on the counter beside them as he takes a small step back.
"I should probably go. I have an early shift tomorrow."
Yoongi nods, forces a smile. He tries to compose himself as he trails after Namjoon, who's putting his shoes back on by the door. He expects Namjoon to just say goodbye, to leave, but he turns around in the doorway with that look in his eyes that sends Yoongi reeling. In the back of his mind, he wonders why they always end up here.
"Are you free any time this weekend?" Namjoon says. Yoongi's so distracted by the way he's biting his lip that he almost doesn't register the question.
"Um." He thinks maybe, with enough begging, he could convince Taehyung and Seokjin to look after Yerim for a few hours. "I think I can do Sunday afternoon?"
Namjoon grins. "We should get coffee. It'll be my treat, since you cooked tonight." The way Namjoon says it is a little loaded and it feels like it'll be more than just coffee. Then again, maybe he's just hearing what he wants to hear. Namjoon's probably just being nice. That's all he's been this whole time. Friendly.
Almost as if he can hear Yoongi's thoughts, Namjoon's voice turns softer as he adds, "only if you want to, of course. No pressure."
Yoongi's reply comes embarrassingly quickly, but the way it makes Namjoon's entire face light up might just be worth it.
"Okay."