Work Text:
Don't Fuck The Investigation
The green around them should have distracted Ryan enough to forget his most recent problem, but his hormones and dick were stronger than he remembered. It made him curse the moment he had suggested this Bigfoot Beards idea of his, and also the easy way Shane had accepted it, a bright spark in his eyes as he nodded.
Looking at his friend now, Ryan realized it had been because of this. The man looked good with a beard, and Ryan had forgotten that when they met, he had been exactly like this—with messy hair, the full grown and well-trimmed beard, and single .
Maybe that was the biggest reason for his distraction on today’s investigation.
“I’m telling you, all we’re gonna catch out here is a fucking cold,” Shane complained once more as they walked through the woods.
Sighing, Ryan stopped walking, and turned around to find Shane frowning at the soft rain falling around them.
“I thought that, and I quote: I’m a man of nature, Ryan ,” he teased back. Shane narrowed his eyes at him and Ryan smiled triumphantly. “Come on, big guy. If we find uncle Shaney, we’ll be famous!”
“Why would he be called Shaney?” Shane frowned, finally following him and making Ryan smile. “If that’s your way of making fun of my name, you are failing miserably, Dickgara.”
“Jesus!” Ryan turned again. He could feel himself scowling as Shane smirked at him as if he had won something. “When are you going to let that go?! I can’t believe Jake told you about it!”
So Bergara sounded like ‘verga’ in Spanish, and in Mexico, ‘verga’ meant ‘dick’, BIG DEAL! His traitorous brother had informed Shane of this tragedy, as well as the fact that his username everywhere used to be ‘mrberga’ until his cousins informed him how it looked and sounded to them.
His damn father had known since forever, and he had only laughed when Ryan let him know he was aware now.
The damn devil himself, just like this man.
Between their laughs, frowns, and banter that would have to be cut from the final video, they made it as deep into the forest as they were allowed to be. They sat down for a while again; it would be dark soon, bringing them to the part of the investigation that Ryan was actually fearing.
No way a big ass primate was around, but other animals could be. Hunters. Freakin’ ghosts, even.
Ryan decided not to voice any of his ruminations, knowing well enough that his companion wouldn’t be of any help. Instead, he sat down and watched him talk to TJ as they nursed beers together.
Both had beards, so why had he never had this reaction to TJ’s beard? Andrew’s? Anybody else’s? His eyes followed the shade of Shane’s on his face as he remembered seeing him trimming it in their shared bathroom this morning.
There was something intimate that he was so not gonna touch in that simple act of watching him groom himself in the early morning. In the way Shane would walk around in boxers and a shirt in search of his pants as Ryan put on his own clean clothes. In both of them cleaning their teeth at the same time, reflections in the same mirror.
“You are weird, Madej,” TJ reminded him, and it felt as though he had reminded Ryan. He sighed and walked towards them when Shane started to laugh. “Yo, do you really think you guys are gonna find anything here?”
“Well.” Funnily enough, he kinda did. “I don’t know… maybe?”
“Man, I really want to find this guy,” Shane said. There was a silly smile on his face, and Ryan knew some bullshit was coming.
When it didn’t, Ryan rolled his eyes as Devon asked, “Why’s that?”
“I don’t know, the monsterfucker in me wants it to be real.”
All Ryan saw before closing his eyes in resignation was TJ’s eyebrows meeting his hairline and Devon putting a hand over her mouth before their laughs filled the emptiness of the forest. Ryan sighed, feeling defeated by a lot of things in his life.
First, the stupidity and irreverence of his co-host and friend.
“Please, don’t fuck the investigation,” he replied after opening his eyes, making everyone laugh again.
Second, that he like-liked the bastard.