Archive of Our Own ^beta

Now, Andrew could officially add “dabbled in demonic rituals” to his college resume.

It wasn’t entirely his own fault - truthfully, it was a long-time coming. High school was the real hell on Earth. Andrew was falling behind in his classes, had already squandered a few too many deadlines for his stupid college applications, and Riko “Inferiority Complex” Moriyama just insisted on making his life as difficult as possible. 

He didn’t know what kind of crime he’d committed in some irresponsible past life that had given Riko the green light to act like a complete dipshit to him and his family. But Andrew was lightning in a bottle, a summer storm in the making. One wrong move, and he would snap. 

And it would be disastrous.

(So what if summoning a demon was the most feasible solution he could come up with?)

--

It happened in the locker room, right before Exy practice. Andrew didn’t quite remember what exactly had started the argument (he preserved his sanity by blocking out most of his interactions with Riko), but the breaking point was Riko’s smug, know-it-all smirk and the knife-like words he spat out at their feet.

“You know you’re going nowhere in life,” he said disdainfully. “A good-for-nothing deadweight. I’m not surprised you don’t even have a real family.”

It wasn’t Andrew who threw the first punch that time, but Aaron. His brother threw Riko against the lockers, sending reverberations down the metal. 

“Fuck you!” he shouted, before Riko shoved him backwards into a rack of Exy gear. Andrew could distantly hear Kevin and Jeremy’s shouts as he grabbed Riko’s collar, slamming his fist as hard as he could into his face. 

Red pooled against his knuckles, a disgusting but familiar warmth against his skin. He was ready to punch Riko again when he felt hands on his shoulders, yanking him back. 

“Enough!” It was Wymack, fury raging in his eyes as he took in the scene. “What did I say at the beginning of the year? No infighting on this team!” 

Andrew shook out his hand, heading over to where his brother was. Aaron gave him a quick nod at his silent question, rubbing his back where he’d taken the worst hit. Riko sat up, smile gone, as Wymack continued yelling. 

“This is the varsity team and if you can’t handle your own shit off the court, then you shouldn’t be here in the first place,” he said, before turning to Riko. “You are on thin ice. Keep antagonizing your teammates and I will bench you for the rest of the season.”

It was enough to shut Riko up. Wymack sighed harshly, crossing his arms. “Practice starts in ten. Be there. You’re all getting detention after.”

Aaron groaned. “Coach - ”

“No arguments,” Wymack said. “If you have issues take it up with your captain Jeremy. Now scram.” 

(If Andrew lobbed a few extra balls right at Riko’s helmet during their next scrimmage - well, everyone could tell).

Detention was an all-too familiar routine for Andrew at this point. He got to sit under the not-so-watchful eye of his history teacher, staring blankly at the clock on the far end of the room. This time he was early, thanks to Jeremy, who insisted on escorting him and Aaron there once practice was over. 

Sliding down in his seat, he sighed loudly. He didn’t know how much time passed before the bell for the end of sixth period rang. Aaron, damn him, was actually using the time to work on his college essays, scribbling something for one moment before shaking his head and crossing it out again. Andrew was tempted to throw a pencil at him when the door swung open. 

Renee Walker came in and sat down in the empty desk by Andrew, flashing him a bright smile when he glanced at her. 

“Hey,” she whispered in greeting.

Even though they were the only two goalies on their team, Andrew didn’t talk much with her. Rainbow hair, too-warm smiles, and pastel clothing: she was his polar opposite. 

But his gaze drifted down to her hands, taking in the ink drawings of eyes and stars dotting otherwise unmarked skin, the purple and blue bruises covering her knuckles.

Those, he could recognize. 

“What are you in for?” he decided to ask. Renee looked delighted at his acknowledgement (a reaction Andrew didn’t get often).

“I nearly broke someone’s arm for trying to touch my friend,” she said, eyes twinkling. “You?”

“I decked Riko Moriyama.”

“Oh, sweet.” 

Before they could do anything else, his teacher lifted his head and hushed them harshly. “No talking,” he hissed. 

Andrew and Renee exchanged glances. Her smile was completely genuine, and Andrew found himself nodding in return. 

He’d never really made friends, outside of those he called his own family. 

But, just then, they were two outcasts and fighters sitting underneath the artificial classroom light, nursing bruises and cuts running like streams over callused knuckles.

Andrew thought, if he were to make another friend, maybe he could start with her. 

--

While Aaron, Kevin, Jeremy, and Jean practiced passing on the field, even after the rest of the team had gone home, Andrew sat on the bleachers with Renee. 

“Capri Sun?” she offered, handing him a pouch. Andrew accepted it without a word, secretly relishing the coolness seeping into his palm.

As the too-sweet flavor of fake fruit punch filled his mouth, Renee turned to him. “What’s Riko got on you?” she asked. 

Andrew was made of heavier, more jagged pieces than the average high school senior. But the more time he spent with Renee, the easier it became to talk to her, to let some of those truths out. She had hands that were just as rough as Andrew’s, yet she held others’ secrets like they were the most precious things she’d ever been gifted.

So, he talked.

“Riko’s just a bully,” he said, leaning back against the sun-kissed bleachers. “He’s jealous that Kevin broke up their friendship and came to us. He thinks we’re easy targets that way.”

Renee tilted her head to the side. The light covered her head with a gentle glow, turning pastel colors into melting strips of cotton candy. “How so?” 

“Our mother abandoned Aaron and me when we were young. She gave us up to the system.” The words used to carve him open when spoken out loud. Now, they were just a little too cold for a day that was so warm and brilliant. “Our cousin took us in once he found out about us.”

“Is your cousin still with you?” Renee asked.

“No, he’s in college now. Bee adopted us. So we’re a family now.” 

Andrew sipped at his juice, imagining it was alcohol or something fancy. He didn’t usually talk about his mom a lot - she was his secret to keep, his home to hold. She wasn’t anyone he gave up easily, on whims, but Renee only smiled gratefully at her name.

“Thanks for telling me that, Andrew,” she said. He grunted in response. 

(It was a big deal, sure. Just like how it was a miracle that the ocean tides kissed the moon every now and then, and the sun kept rising every dawn, even if it didn’t always show).

((But he didn’t need to ponder those wonders. Andrew was healing, the seas fell in love, and the sun would keep burning until it stopped. They lived on. Those were the truths)).

He tipped his head back, letting the afternoon paint the inside of his eyelids red. “Riko thinks that’s our weak point,” he murmured.

Renee hummed. “But there’s nothing stronger than a broken person who is rebuilding themself.” When Andrew cracked an eye open to look at her, she added, “I was adopted, too. It can be hard. It’s not something I would expect him to even try to understand.”

Lifting the Capri Sun in a toast, Andrew said, “I’ll drink to that.”

They watched as Jeremy stopped the drill, breathlessly grinning as he asked for Aaron and Jean to help set up cones for a scrimmage. Renee rested her chin on a hand - decorated with black pinprick stars and planets that day. Andrew sat up upon noticing a small cross pendant dangling off her neck. 

“Are you religious?” he asked suddenly. She blinked, before glancing down at her necklace and laughing. 

“I guess you could say that,” she said, brushing her fingers over the cross. “I’m just a bad person trying really hard to be a good person.”

Disorder and healing were two sides of the same coin, the side of the moon that the sun never hit. Andrew thought he could recognize the craters and battle scars in Renee, too. It was a strange feeling, being so confident in seeing someone else. He wondered if he could bottle it up and keep it for a while.

“Does it help?” He jerked his head toward the designs on Renee’s hands. “What do you do?”

Wiggling her fingers about, Renee grinned, before glancing around. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Yes,” he said. 

She leaned closer, cupping a hand around her mouth. “I play around with spirits.”

Andrew thought he would’ve had a worse (or at least, some kind of) reaction to Renee’s words.

But he didn’t do anything except blink.

Maybe it was the way that Renee so easily entrusted him with information that anyone else could’ve easily wielded against her, or maybe it was the curiosity stirring awake like a sleepy monster in his own chest. He just watched as Renee reached into her bag, taking out a marker and uncapping it.

“May I draw on you?” she asked. 

A few minutes later, Andrew had his hands laid out on the benches as Renee carefully drew swirling patterns onto his skin. 

“It’s a way for me to exercise being a better person,” she said softly, sketching out a wide eye with lashes that reached all the way up to his knuckles. “As long as you’re kind and don’t anger the spirits, they’ll be kind to you right back. It’s a bit beautiful, isn’t it?”

“So spirits have a better moral compass than humans,” Andrew mused. “Somehow that is not surprising.”

Renee laughed softly, sitting back and admiring her work. “You know, maybe you could try summoning something,” she said. “To protect yourself and your family against Riko. Maybe to teach him a few lessons.”

Andrew shrugged, looking down at his hands. Whenever he flexed his fingers, the eyes on his skin seemed to blink. 

“Riko is just a nuisance,” he said. “A mosquito buzzing in my ear.”

“It might be worth a try,” she said. “Let me know. I can teach you.” 

A loud whoop sounded from the field. He glanced up, spotting Aaron laughing loudly after getting past Kevin to score on an empty goal.

“Maybe,” was all he said, but Renee’s smile was so bright he might as well have just said yes.

--

Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you -

Andrew stopped reading after the first sentence and slammed his laptop shut. Whoever decided to force high schoolers to squeeze their entire life story and trauma into 650 words was a sadist, and that was the objective truth. 

He kicked himself away from his desk, spinning around in his chair while staring at the ceiling - a planet lost in orbit. 

Golden sunlight faded away into an orange evening, capping off another squandered day. Andrew was tempted to give it all up. Since winter break began, Aaron had spent most of his time holed up in his own room, finalizing his applications, like the good pre-med student he was. His own essays were all due in two weeks, and he hadn’t even started on the main one. 

Boredom wriggled out from its nesting place beneath his collarbones, whispering for attention. Falling onto his bed, Andrew sighed heavily and resigned himself to staring at the ceiling, counting and recounting all the glow-in-the-dark stars he’d stuck up there a long time ago.

After a long moment, maybe even an hour or two, Andrew found himself grabbing his phone, pulling up Google.

Renee, true to her promise, had spent the past month teaching and showing Andrew how she would summon and talk to spirits. She’d let him sit in during a ritual once, and the memory was just as clear as yesterday when Andrew closed his eyes and thought hard enough.

rituals for summoning spirits, he wrote.

For a brief moment, he thought he could laugh. 

What an improbable life this was, that he was bored enough from trying to write himself a future to actually consider dabbling in a few demonic rituals.

But he supposed he had a right to be so jaded.

Andrew had survived so much for so long. He was his own planet. Adrift in a universe, so comfortably nestled atop a blanket of cruelty and coincidences and miracles. He was undiscovered. He built and rebuilt himself despite the countless asteroids that struck, despite how many of his own stars had slipped away and blinked out of his sky. 

He still defied gravity.

Yet, he still got into fights nearly every day at his shitty high school, and he just couldn’t think of a single damn thing to write.

Yet, some people had the audacity to call him weak.

Orange dimmed into deep violet, then black. The marker lines Renee had drawn on him last week were fading. This time, she’d drawn one open eye, and another closed. 

Andrew rolled onto his side and stared out the window as the sun dipped into its nightly grave once more.

Then, he sat up and closed his eyes, thinking back to every step Renee had detailed to him before, with a page of Google search results at his side.

He figured there were worse things he could have done.

--

When it was all over, after what felt like days, Andrew opened his eyes again.

Except for the light on his desk and the glow spilling from his computer, darkness cloaked the rest of his room. He looked around for a long minute, taking everything in, but nothing had changed. Just a plain room, air strained with the chronic stench of procrastination.

He was tempted to call Renee. Maybe to tell her that her ritual hadn’t worked - perhaps it was a fluke - when suddenly, a chill swept across his body. 

The temperature seemed to collapse, like someone had breathed ice into the air.

When Andrew glanced up, something moved behind him in his mirror.

He froze, unable to do anything else but stare at it.

It, being the mass of shadows flickering and fuming right above his bed, that had definitely not been there a second earlier. 

Breath caught and choked in his lungs, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood straight. Two piercing eyes emerged from the black hole he’d opened in his own galaxy to stare right back at him. 

“Who dares summon me?” Its booming voice echoed like fifty other storms were speaking at once. 

For once in his life, Andrew didn’t know what to say.

“Well,” he whispered, mouth impossibly dry. “Shit.”

Even after turning away from his mirror, the shadow and its eyes were still there. If Andrew didn’t know any better, he’d say it almost looked unimpressed. 

“Oh. Did I answer the wrong summon?” Its bellow had died down into an almost-normal volume. “It happens sometimes.”

“What are you?” Andrew asked hoarsely.

The shadows shuddered. 

“It appears I am a demon,” it replied.

Of course.

Only Andrew and his shit luck would summon a demon instead of one of Renee’s other nice little spirits. He almost wanted to smack himself upside the head. He should’ve just written his essay instead. 

Rubbing his hands across his arms, trying to smooth away the cold, he asked, “Can other people see you?” 

“No, only you. Isn’t that a blessing?”

Something was missing. 

Andrew subconsciously ran his fingers over the eyes Renee had drawn onto his skin. They seemed to burn. 

“What is your name?”

“Call me Neil,” Neil said after a long minute.

He hesitated, wondering if he should offer his name up to an apparent demon that was now somehow tethered to him. 

Fuck it. “I’m Andrew.” 

Neil laughed, and it sounded like the oceans around the world had just caved open, rumbling and reverberating endlessly through empty space. It was as startling as discovering a new star nestled among the night, one that had not been there before even yesterday.

Andrew stared as Neil’s shadows began to flicker again, shuddering and pulling close together. Gradually, his figure grew neater. Less of a handful of darkness, but more of a - 

A person.

Night was covered up with skin, tan and splattered with constellations of freckles. Strings of wispy black became auburn hair, deep and rich. Twilight took upon a lithe body, elegant hands, long, muscled legs, and...Doc Martens, apparently.

The only darkness that remained in Neil was in his eyes - black as tar. 

Then, lips tugging up in a sharp smile, he blinked again. 

In place of Stygian irises - 

Moon-kissed seas.

“Hello, Andrew.” 

Andrew’s heart, treacherous and reckless, stumbled over itself as Neil crossed his arms and jumped down from where he stood on the bed. He made no noise when he landed. 

“What did you summon me for, exactly?” he asked. His voice was strung together from thunder. “Technically, I am Satan’s spawn, but I’m honestly pretty low-level. I mean, I wouldn’t worry. I won’t hurt you - it’s against the Demon Code of Conduct to hurt our summoners - but I still possess and eat people’s souls, which is really all you should be asking me for. I don’t know what else you’d want me to do - ”

“I am not looking to be possessed,” Andrew interrupted dryly. “I just need your help. To protect my family, when I go back to school.”

Neil stopped talking, staring at him. “Oh,” he said. He looked vaguely disappointed. “No soul-eating?”

Strangely enough, a warmth ignited in Andrew’s chest. 

(The black hole in his galaxy - maybe it wasn’t something to fear after all).

((It was something that was a complete wonder, to even capture and hold)).

“No soul-eating,” he confirmed.

“Better luck next time,” Neil muttered, pouting. He turned and walked right up Andrew’s wall, shoving his hands in his pockets as he hung off his ceiling. 

A beat of silence passed. Slowly, it felt like the cold was seeping out of his room. 

Tilting his head to the side, Andrew found himself asking, “How long will you stay?”

Neil met his gaze, steadily. 

“As long as I need to,” he said.

Perhaps it should’ve scared him more, trading promises so easily with a devil.

But in place of apprehension was only what felt like - 

Spring, flowering and unfurling, tickling within his bones. A new moon, a new discovery. Another companion at his side, laying in his orbit, one whose name only he would know.

He thought back to what Renee had said. That if he was kind to spirits, they’d be kind right back.

How she’d said it was a beautiful thing, in such an ugly world.

Andrew stared at Neil, the way he so easily took gravity and natural law in his hands and tossed them aside like trash, the way he harbored the deepest abysses and most brilliant seas in just his eyes alone. 

He thought - 

Maybe she really was right.

--

It was hard to keep Neil’s existence a secret from the rest of his family. 

Essentially, Andrew did not want Bee to think that he had gotten himself an imaginary friend.

He avoided making eye contact with Neil whenever she or Aaron were around, only catching glimpses of the demon in reflections or out of the corner of his eye. Neil seemed to understand, but it didn’t stop him from playfully sticking out his tongue whenever Aaron walked by or baring his teeth whenever his brother said something stupid. To Neil’s chagrin, Andrew only talked to him whenever he was sure they were alone or late at night, a fact he brought up on his penultimate night of freedom before returning to school. 

“You’ve been looking at your computer all day and you don’t even talk to me,” Neil complained. This time, he was standing on top of Andrew’s desk, watching him work. “At this point I might just go back to hell.”

“High school is the real hell,” Andrew corrected him, sighing as he deleted the last two words he’d written. “And do you want my mom and brother finding out that I summoned Satan’s spawn in my room?”

“What are you doing?” Neil asked in lieu of an answer.

“Applying to college,” he muttered as the demon bent down to take a look.

“Setbacks, hm?” He wrinkled his nose as he read the prompt. “What does this have to do with anything?”

He sighed. “I will literally just go to community college.”

“The thing you summoned me for,” Neil said thoughtfully. “Whatever made you need help protecting yourself. Maybe write about that.”

Andrew glared at him without heat as he jumped down from his desk, sauntering away. He didn’t bother looking around for him, returning to his laptop.

(Neil never usually went far, always staying by Andrew somehow).

Setting his fingers to the keys, after a long minute, he began writing.

Andrew had always thought himself to be a lone planet, in a galaxy of his own. Sometimes, he felt like the gravity would win its silent war against him, pulling him down, down, down, until he collapsed upon himself.

But he was also a collector. One by one, he found more moons to stay by his side, to share the weight of the universe with him.

One by one, he named them all.

Aaron. Nicky. Bee. 

Kevin. Wymack. Renee.

A cartographer and the cosmos. 

(It used to be such a lonely, unforgiving task).

((Not so much anymore)).

Andrew didn’t stop writing until he maxed out the word limit. He slammed the laptop shut and sat back with a long sigh. Neil had settled on his bed, watching him, playing with a few shadows that were skittering across his knuckles.

“Are you done?” he asked as Andrew pressed his hands against his eyes, rubbing hard.

“Neil,” he said instead. “I’m taking you out tomorrow.”

The demon shifted, cocking his head to the side. “To do what?”

Andrew didn’t know. 

He just wanted to do something. Maybe throw away his computer. Maybe thank Neil.

“I will teach you Exy,” he decided after a beat of silence.

“Exy?” Neil repeated, sounding out the syllables carefully. “What is that?”

“It’s a bastard sport.” Andrew turned around to meet his gaze. “I think you will like it.”

“Okay,” Neil said, easily. “Deal.”

Andrew turned back toward his laptop, wringing his hands. Renee’s marker lines had faded completely.

(He hoped whichever stupid admissions officer read his essay would appreciate extended metaphors).

--

It turned out that sometimes Neil could be less of a demon, but more of an excited puppy seeing the world for the first time.

Morning parted ways for them as the two of them stepped outside, embracing them with chilly dewiness. Andrew twirled his racquet in one hand, swinging his bag with Exy balls and gear in the other, while Neil darted around their driveway. 

“Are we playing? Here?” he asked brightly. Lifting his arms, he splayed out his fingers like he was trying to capture the mist in his palms. Andrew rolled his eyes. 

“Not here,” he said. “You’re coming to school with me.”

Sticking his headphones in without playing any music, Andrew led Neil down the sidewalk toward campus. The demon floated along beside him, raising his eyebrows.

“Are you ignoring me?” he asked. 

“Idiot. This is so I can talk to you,” Andrew said, hefting his racquet over his shoulders. “People will think I’m on a call.”

“Oh. You’re clever.” Neil grinned, and bolted ahead.

The stadium was empty when they got there. Someone had spilled a bucket of fog over the turf, shrouding it so thickly that Andrew couldn’t see the end of the field. No one would be able to spot them, even if they tried.

Dumping his bag and racquet by the goal, he turned and headed toward the equipment room. Faithful as ever, Neil followed him, spinning around as he took everything in.

“Usually there is a court that we play on,” Andrew said as he bent down and started picking the lock. “They haven’t set it up yet because season hasn’t officially started.” 

The door clicked open, and he flicked on the light. Rows upon rows of racquets, helmets, and padding greeted him, but Andrew disregarded everything to pick out an unused striker’s stick. He tossed it at Neil, who caught it easily. 

They made their way back to the field, Neil behind him asking all sorts of questions. After painstakingly explaining all the rules, Andrew got into the goal, ramming the head of his stick against it once and turning toward Neil.

Scooping up a ball, he lobbed it toward him. It wasn’t a hard throw, but Neil didn’t quite manage to catch it. 

“That - impossible,” Neil said, staring at the ball on the ground like it’d personally wronged him. “I never miss.”

“Is your learning curve a horizontal line?” When the demon swung a harsh glare at him, Andrew shrugged. “You get used to it. Throw it at me.”

Neil’s pass back toward him was a little too hard and off to the left, but Andrew lunged forward and blocked it anyway. They quickly fell into a new routine, Neil darting to and fro impossibly quickly and trying to get the ball past him, Andrew blocking him nearly every single time. 

Curiosity and exhilaration erased any irritation in Neil’s expression, and he laughed with his mouth wide open. He looked like a tempest, dancing and running about in and out of the fog. Andrew couldn’t help but stare as Neil twirled the racquet over deft fingers, too gracefully for someone who had just started learning over an hour ago. 

(That distraction was not the reason Neil scored on him, just a few minutes later. Definitely not, Andrew told himself).

But his own heart, deceitful as always, leaped at the challenge. For the first time since practices started, something sparked awake in him, something that made him tighten his grip on his racquet and narrow his eyes as Neil prepared to take his next shot. 

It was strange, feeling such electricity jump through him at Exy, of all things. The stupid sport had never been that important to him, just another way to keep close with his family and pass the time. 

Just then, though, with Neil grinning mischievously at him and the fog keeping them a secret from prying eyes, he thought maybe - maybe - he could tolerate it.

(He liked saying no to the opposite team, anyway. He liked seeing the look on their faces when he shut them out).

The ball came flying, directly at his face, and Andrew blocked it immediately. He sent it right back at Neil, who leaped into the air and snatched it in his net.

“Try not to kill me,” Andrew said despite the thrill pulsating in his veins. “I’m not wearing a helmet.”

Neil’s laugh sent ripples through the sleeping world.

--

The afternoon tore the fog apart, and Andrew took Neil back home. He ended up passing out for a few hours, only waking from his impromptu nap when someone knocked on his door.

Blinking groggily, he sat up as Bee poked her head in, smiling warmly.

“Hey,” she said. “Practiced a bit hard, didn’t you?”

Andrew cast a glance up toward his ceiling, where Neil was standing. He grinned but didn’t say anything, putting a finger up to his lips and sticking his tongue out. 

“Season starts soon,” Andrew said, “so I wanted a head start.”

Bee didn’t say anything else, coming into his room and sitting down at the edge of his bed. She squinted at him, a playful tint in her eyes. “Did you turn in your essays yet?”

“Most of them.” He stretched out his sore legs, wiggling his toes. Bee hummed, hitting a mellow note in the way that only she could, yet another undiscovered sound Andrew wanted to keep to himself.

“What did you end up writing about?” she asked softly.

He could see in his mirror that Neil was beginning to move about, pacing across his ceiling before splaying his fingers out like he wanted to play with the shadows again.

“Space,” Andrew said. “And us.” 

His mom’s smile was the sun incarnate. Her request was simple: “Would you let me read it sometime?”

(It was as personal as a personal statement could get, but Andrew was getting better at sharing secrets with his moons).

He nodded. “Sometime,” he promised, and Bee crossed the room toward him. Only after he nodded did she reach out, carding gentle fingers through his hair. She leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to the top of his head, and Andrew closed his eyes.

“I got your favorite ice cream to celebrate,” she said. “But in compensation we get to marathon Aaron’s medical dramas tonight.”

“He only watches them to correct them,” Andrew complained without much heat. Bee laughed, before she turned to leave. 

“Dinner will be ready soon,” she called over her shoulder. Andrew gave her a little wave, which she bounced right back to him, before shutting his door with a soft click.

After a minute of silence, Neil walked back into his line of sight, still upside down.

“She’s your mom?” he asked. At Andrew’s nod, he tilted his head curiously and added, “You don’t look similar.”

“My brother and I were adopted,” he said. 

The teasing glint flickered away from Neil’s Pacific eyes, replaced by something that resembled gratitude. 

“I don’t have a family,” he offered in return, after a beat of quiet. “The closest I have to one is probably Stuart - but he’s more of my higher-up than anything.” He hopped among Andrew’s stars until he was closer, lips quirking in another smile. It was a new kind Andrew hadn’t seen before, sharp edges replaced with something softer. More private. “Tell me about your family?” 

So he did.

“Aaron is my twin brother. We went through foster care together,” Andrew said, leaning back against his pillows. “They weren’t good families. They would - they would hit us. Abuse us. One of them took a particular interest in me. No one knew what he would do to me, and I didn’t say anything. Only my brother and mom know now.”

Closing his eyes as the memories threatened to crawl from shadows, he took in deliberate breaths, reminded himself that it was just him and Neil. That he was far from where he’d used to be, that he’d made it through hell and survived. That he was in control of his own universe now. He named his own moons and opened black holes and had risen up despite the gravity tugging him down.

He was living.

(And they were gone).

When Andrew opened his eyes again, Neil had dropped down from the ceiling. He sat across from Andrew, upright this time. There was a fire blazing in his gaze that should’ve hollowed Andrew to the core, but only filled him even more.

“My cousin saved us when he found out about us,” he said before Neil could do anything. “Then we were officially adopted by Bee. She was the only good one.”

The hellish flames flickering in Neil’s irises didn’t die down, and he only bared his teeth. “I will kill that person,” he vowed, “if he ever shows up again.”

“He won’t,” Andrew said quietly. “He’s in prison.”

For a moment, Neil’s eyes turned black. 

“You think that would stop me?” 

“It’s tempting.” Andrew wrapped his hands around his knees, tucking them close to his chest. “But it’s over now. I have people I will fight for, who will fight for me. I don’t care if other people don’t understand that. I’m - better.”

It was a truth of the universe, one of the greater ones.

He hadn’t known what love looked like, for the longest time. All his life, people had given up on him. At some point, it was what he thought love was altogether: bruises and abandonment and failed, ungranted wishes, made upon cruel shooting stars. 

It took years for him to replace those asteroids with new definitions. Love looked like the stony glint in his brother’s glare when he, a healer in training, punched Riko in the nose hard enough to break it - for Andrew. Love looked like Nicky taking them in when he was barely even done with high school himself, still a kid raising two cousins he’d never met before just because he believed they deserved better. Love looked like Bee kissing them on the forehead and staying through their storms, letting them map out their own universes and planets while always finding them, whenever they got lost. 

Love was home and chaos and planets hugging moons, storms that healed, fighting at all costs. 

That love was what Andrew would hold on to now, not the shoddy kind he’d been dealt with from the start.That love was his compass and north star, even if no one else saw it. 

When he looked up and met Neil’s gaze again, black had turned back to blue. There was something different in his expression, that moment.

Something that looked strangely like admiration. 

“You have a good soul,” was all he said, the words spoken quietly and secretly.

They shouldn’t have wriggled their way into Andrew’s heart so stubbornly, but there they were. Making themselves a home among his remembrances.

“Is that high praise, coming from you?” he asked hoarsely.

Neil shrugged. “Where I come from, we don’t care about love. It’s not a thing. We just do what we’re asked, occasionally wreak havoc on people who deserve it. We are left to our own devices except when we’re called to the mortal world, and I’ve seen a lot of shitty people there. No love.” His lips quirked in a small smile. “The kind that you have and talk about - I might like that.”

Andrew only nodded, unable to find the right words to say, but it was enough of an answer for Neil. They sat together for the longest time, human and demon. He occasionally looked up at the constellations he’d stuck onto his ceiling. Neil would trace his gaze to the stars, and Andrew would mutter a few of their names every now and then to fill in the quiet.

Then Bee was calling him and Aaron down for dinner. Neil didn’t follow him, leaving him to sit among his own family for the night, only staying behind to walk among the stars again. 

--

To his surprise, Riko didn’t immediately try to start shit when the new semester began. 

Andrew returned to his classes with Neil right behind him, math being his first period, though it was hard to pay attention when his demon liked to prance across the ceilings and occasionally flash black eyes at his teacher whenever she brought up integrals. 

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t hang right in front of my teacher during the lecture,” Andrew grumbled quietly as he headed down the hallway. 

“You can’t blame me,” Neil said, feigning dismay. “Calculus was Satan’s invention.”

“You got me there,” Andrew muttered dryly, swerving around the corner. Neil chuckled.

“Where are we headed now?”

“English. Do not fuck around this time,” he replied. 

Neil watched over him and followed him around for the rest of the day. Andrew subtly jerked his head toward each of his friends to introduce him to their faces, and he couldn’t help the amusement that stirred in him when Neil frowned and muttered something about Kevin being too tall. 

The end of the day brought with it practice, this time on an actual court. Andrew stood in goal with Renee at his side, the two of them working on their own stretches while the rest of the team jogged around the perimeter.

“How was your break?” she asked lightly. 

“Mildly interesting,” Andrew said, eyeing Neil, who he’d asked to stay in the bleachers. 

Renee slyly followed his gaze, before a bright smile broke across her face.

“What’s his name?”

Freezing in the middle of tying his shoes, Andrew slowly glanced up at her. There was nothing judgmental on her face, though she was definitely staring right at Neil, across the court.

“You can see him?” he muttered. 

“Oh, I can see many things,” Renee said warmly. “It’s just me, though, so you don’t need to worry.” She went and grabbed her racquet, swinging her arms back and forth. “He seems nice.”

Andrew stared at Neil, who had borrowed from the shadows underneath the bleachers to fashion his own ball. He bounced it up and down in his hands for a moment, before he caught Andrew’s eye. He flicked out his tongue and grinned, before crushing the darkness in his palm.

“Yeah,” Andrew said distantly, throat dry. “He’s alright.”

Practice was, as per the nature of Exy, rough. Jeremy led them through their daily drills, splitting their team up into groups for scrimmages, while Wymack occasionally yelled at them for more hustle. Up in the bleachers, Neil rested his chin a hand, somehow looking more bored than Andrew felt. 

He switched in for Renee during the second half of the game at the end of practice, tugging on his helmet. Wymack blew the whistle to signal the start of the serve, and Allison slammed the ball down the length of the court.

Andrew could feel Neil’s eyes on him as he lunged forward for his first block, thwarting a shot by Kevin and sending it back over to Aaron. 

“Good work, Andrew!” Wymack called from the sidelines. “Keep it going, Foxes!”

Riko took the next shot, one that Andrew easily stopped. A fierce grin dawned on Kevin’s face as he realized what was happening, and he caught the next pass Andrew threw his way with a call for Jeremy to run a play. 

Completely locking down the goal, Andrew didn’t miss the frustration steadily flaring in Riko’s eyes as he took more and more shots, and failed every time. Each one was more brutal than the last, one of the balls eventually slamming into Andrew’s thigh and leaving behind a harsh red imprint that would surely bruise.

“That would be a foul on the goalie, Riko!” Jeremy yelled. “Let’s keep it civil.” 

Shaking out his leg, Andrew scooped up the ball and lobbed it at said problem player. It bounced right off Riko’s helmet. Bullseye.

The next shot Riko took wasn’t even aimed for the goal anymore. The ball whistled right for Andrew’s head. He whipped his racquet around, ready to block it, when suddenly -

It swerved to the right, slamming against the court wall.

Silence reigned for a long moment as the Foxes looked around in confusion. Even if Riko was trying to decapitate someone, he never missed any of his passes.

Then, Andrew glanced toward the bleachers.

Neil was on his feet, lips twisted into an angry frown. When he met Andrew’s gaze, his eyes flickered and burned like coal. Lifting a hand, he wiggled his fingers and tapped them against his temple in a salute.

“Better luck next time,” he mouthed.

Something that Andrew did not want to name burned fiercely in his stomach as Wymack blew on the whistle, rupturing the quiet.

“Remember we don’t waste any shots,” he called. “If you can’t make it then pass it on to someone else. Let’s try this again! Renee, switch with Andrew.”

Riko whirled around to stare at Andrew, but he astutely ignored him. Clacking his racquet against Renee’s, Andrew jogged into the sub box.

Neil drifted down to sit on him beside the bench, humming. “Are you sure there’s no soul-eating?”

“No soul-eating, Neil,” he confirmed.

When practice ended, Aaron was the first to meet Andrew, glancing down at his leg where Riko had hit him. Wymack was right behind him. 

“You alright, Andrew?” his coach asked, looking him over. “You took a hit out there.”

“It’s just bruised,” he replied without checking. “Occupational hazard.”

His brother didn’t look impressed, but Wymack nodded. “Let me know if you need to see Abby.” When Andrew nodded and turned to leave, he cleared his throat again. “Hey. You did good out there. Whatever changed, keep it going.”

“Yes, Coach,” he said.

(Another promise to string the universe together).

Kevin joined them on their way out to the parking lot. “Finally having fun, Andrew?” he said, smirking.

“Fuck off,” Andrew grumbled, while Neil snickered and said, “I take all the credit.”

No one heard him except for Andrew, who flipped him off behind his back. 

It wasn’t until the next day that Riko finally found him again. Andrew barely had the time to react before he was being shoved against the lockers. 

“What the fuck was that?” Riko demanded, only backing off when Andrew tried to kick him in the stomach. 

His skin crawled where Riko had touched him, and fury caught on like a wildfire. His brother took one look at him before turning on Riko, snapping, “Are you seriously going to start a fight over practice?”

“Sorry you missed,” Andrew drawled. 

“That wasn’t a miss,” Riko snarled. “You did something.”

Andrew clenched his fists until his knuckles bled white, but he didn’t feel like getting into another fight. Not that day.

“Walk away,” he growled, “before I do something I regret.”

Before he could leave, Riko laughed harshly and called after him.

“You’ll never be more than a freak. People only stick around to use you - I hope you know that. Unwanted, unneeded. That’s all you are. You and your brother, both fucking monsters - ”

Red was all he saw.

Fuck it. He’d take the fucking detention.

Andrew whipped around, ready to hurt, maybe even maim. But he didn’t even manage to take a step before - 

A whirl of black flashed by him, and Riko was thrown across the hall.

The sound of his body crashing into the lockers - glorious, like a symphony - ricocheted down the now-silent room. Andrew stared as Neil yanked Riko up by the collar again, choking off his yells by raking him across the floor. He was powerful and out of control, only letting Riko go when the door slammed open and a teacher came running out. 

“What the hell is going on out here?” she demanded shrilly.

Riko scrambled to his feet, breathing heavily. Aaron gaped at Andrew, while Andrew could only stare at Neil.

Shadows seeped from underneath his demon’s skin, hissing and trembling with rage. It looked like two horns had sprouted from his head, curling gracefully over his ears as he bared sharp teeth in a snarl. Despite the pure black holes that were swirling in his irises, that odd warmth was back in Andrew’s chest, dizzying and all-consuming like he’d been thrown out of orbit.

Neil hadn’t touched him, yet he’d stolen the breath right out of Andrew’s too-willing lungs. He was adrift, surrounded by some patch of space and stars he’d never mapped out before. Lifting his chin, Neil’s shoulders sagged and he slowly met Andrew’s gaze again -

The seas returned, swallowing voids with moonlight. 

With a single smile, he returned Andrew’s oxygen.

For a long moment, no one said anything. The teacher clucked her tongue and snapped, “Alright. Detention, then. The lot of you. Get back to class!”

Andrew hadn’t even noticed the small crowd that had gathered around them, tearing his gaze away from Neil only when his brother stepped back into his view.

Fear and concern swam strangely in his gaze as he took Andrew in.

“We’re talking about this later,” was all he hissed, before turning and heading off. But Andrew didn’t miss the way he deliberately crashed his shoulder into Riko’s on the way out.

Without sparing anyone else a glance, he turned and stalked away in the opposite direction. 

“Really?” he whispered when he and Neil were alone again.

“You said I couldn’t eat him,” Neil said nonchalantly.

It was everything ridiculous and everything Andrew had never expected.

But, for the first time in a while, he started smiling.

(And he didn’t hide it).

--

Detention was only slightly less dreary with Neil hanging off the ceiling. Andrew pretended to work on English while sneaking glances upward at his demon, who paced around and sighed every now and then with boredom.

“Maybe I’m biased because our punishments are so much better in hell, but is detention really just glorified study hall? Seriously?” he mused out loud.

Andrew rolled his eyes and scribbled his answer on his paper, turning it so that Neil could see.

Our education system is fucked, he wrote. 

“Have you ever gotten anything done in detention?” his demon asked, grinning.

Not with you around, no.

“You like me around.”

Shut the fuck up. Stop talking to me.

“You like it,” he insisted.

Andrew crumpled up his paper in response. Neil hissed with giggles, and for one painstaking moment, Andrew thought that if shooting stars and wishes made sounds when they fell, they would sound like Neil’s laughter.

Bee was waiting for him when he returned home, eyebrows drawn as she looked Andrew over for injuries. 

“Aaron told me you got in a fight again,” she said softly as Andrew allowed her to finish her examination.

“I’m not hurt,” he answered, letting her lead him into the kitchen and sit him down at the table. “Riko was being stupid.”

His mom sighed heavily. She handed him a mug of hot chocolate, sprinkling a handful of marshmallows on top before sitting down across from him.

“At some point the school has to do something about this,” she said. “I’ll talk to them. What do the counselors think they’re doing?”

Andrew stirred his drink, watching the marshmallows melt away in the heat. “Mom, I can take care of myself,” he said quietly.

“But you shouldn’t have to.” Bee’s eyes were pools of sunlight, from the time of day when the heat wasn’t unforgiving, but rather a gentle embrace - I see you, stay with me, I’ll take care of you. “Let me help. We’re here now.”

She reached out, and after a few seconds, Andrew slipped his hands into hers. She squeezed his fingers lightly. 

“I know you are strong,” she said. “But you don’t have to bear the weight of this alone. Alright? Promise me.”

(This gravity wasn’t pulling only him down anymore).

((It was everywhere, inside of everyone. Andrew thought that, day by day, he was getting better at sharing its clutches with his moons)).

“Okay. I promise,” he said.

Bee gazed at him steadily for a moment then nodded. Before she left him alone, she headed over and dropped a kiss upon his forehead. Andrew could feel the smile on her lips. 

He headed back to his room after finishing his hot chocolate, relishing the sweetness coating his mouth. Neil was on his ceiling again where he seemed to love being, idly tracing his feet along the sticker stars. 

“Hey,” he said when Andrew came in, shutting the door.

“Hi.” He sat down in his chair, tucking his knees up to his chest, and started playing some music to fill the peace. Neil gazed at him inscrutably for several minutes, before clearing his throat.

“Andrew?”

“Neil.”

“Am I helping?” 

He hummed quietly, and Neil continued, “I don’t like what Riko calls you.”

Oh. Freak. Monster. Andrew shrugged, replying, “I don’t care. It’s not like he’s entirely wrong.”

Neil dropped down from the ceiling to face him. His stare bore deeper into Andrew than any other time before.

“No,” he said simply.

“No?” Andrew mimicked.

“You are not a monster for protecting your family. You are not a freak for being different.” Neil spoke slowly, giving each word infinite time to sink in. “You told me that you fight for the people you love, no matter what it makes you look like. I think that’s the bravest thing I’ve seen any human do, and I’ve been around for a while.”

Throat tight and flesh raw with being seen, Andrew looked away. 

Neil did the same, sniffing and scoffing. 

“What I’m trying to say is,” he said quietly, “just shut up and let me consume his soul next time.”

It shouldn’t have made him laugh.

But there it was - bubbling up inside him, tasting like spring and stardust. The sound came out as a soft breath and an upturn of his mouth, but it echoed across space and time.

Maybe Neil was a cartographer of his own. He understood what it meant to be seen, to open his secret galaxy that he’d tucked away in a private pocket of the universe for others to live in. He understood what it meant to be believed in; the strength it took to look at fading stars and still have the audacity to think them worthy of wishes; the gall it took to keep rising every day alongside the sun, to condition healing until it fell to muscle memory.

He understood the courage it took to do it all, unnoticed, every day. Like clockwork and natural law.

After a long moment, of seeing and comprehending and breathing, Andrew finally nodded and met Neil’s gaze. It was too soft for someone as fiery and hellish and terrifying as he was.

“Thanks,” he said.

(He meant it for a lot more than just Neil’s words).

The moment was cut short by a knock on his door. Andrew shut off his music and turned just as Aaron stepped in, hand clenching around the knob as he looked around.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

Andrew swept his arms out. “Welcome,” he said dryly. His brother rolled his eyes but headed over to his bed, sitting down. Neil jumped away, crawling back up to his spot on the ceiling and closing his eyes. 

“So.” Aaron fiddled with a corner of his sheets. “What happened today?”

“Mmh,” Andrew hummed, ignoring his question.

“What happened with Riko?” he kept pressing. “He just flew across the hallway. There’s no way you could have done that.”

“Correct,” Andrew said, “so why are you asking?”

“Because it should’ve been physically impossible,” Aaron said sarcastically. 

Oh, you’re right, Andrew thought. It’s because I summoned a demon to teach Riko a few lessons in accordance to my new friend Renee Walker’s suggestions, and he’s actually really damn attractive when he’s mopping the floor with that fucker - 

He wanted to throttle himself, if that was even possible. Maybe quench that flame in his chest that seemed content to burn on for eternity, every time he looked at - 

Neil.

A new galaxy that had crept on him when he wasn’t even looking.

(Foolishly, Andrew hoped that gravity was enough to keep him there).

His thoughts grabbed on to him and refused to let him shake them off, even when Aaron leaned forward and waved a hand in front of his face. “Andrew?”

“Aaron,” he imitated almost on instinct, before clearing his throat. “I’ll tell you the whole story, sometime. Just - trust me.”

His brother sat back slowly. “Yeah, yeah,” he said quietly. “I trust you.”

A beat of silence, then he spoke again.

“Are you okay? After - everything he said.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow, absently rubbing a hand across the new bruise on his thigh. “What Riko says doesn’t matter,” he said.

“It does to me,” Aaron countered, eyes flaring. He stood up, fists clenching for a second, as he sighed harshly. “It’s fucking stupid. No one sees what you do for us. No one sees how much you care, or how - how kind you can be. It fucking pisses me off. It’s not right.”

Again, and again, and again. He was - 

Seen. Noticed. Understood.

(Loved).

Andrew met his brother’s gaze. “I don’t do it for them to see,” he said. “I do it for you.”

Aaron’s jaw clenched. “Are you sure it doesn’t matter?”

“I’m okay, Aaron.” 

He meant it.

That answer was more important than anything Riko could ever say to them, and it was the answer Aaron held on to. He stood up, sighing and stretching his arms. 

“If you ever do it again, film it next time,” was all he said.

“Just for you,” Andrew muttered. 

Neil waited until Aaron had left before turning toward him, grinning. “So you did like it,” he said gleefully.

The fire was back, along with a strange tugging in his chest.

It’s me again, gravity murmured to him. It’ll be a better fall this time, I promise.

Andrew stared at Neil, and his eyes that alternated between cruel midnight and entire seas so well. Neil, and his smile that was simultaneously devilish and stunning enough to upend entire galaxies. Neil, and Neil alone, who was real only for Andrew and perhaps a little too good to keep forever.

Thanks for the warning, Andrew thought spitefully as he turned away. You were too late. As-fucking-always.

--

With March came that dreaded time of year, where high school seniors got to find out if they were likable enough for spineless admissions officers to take them into their institutions.

Andrew blamed the niggling anxiety curled up in his chest on his brother’s contagious nervous energy. The night that the results for Johns Hopkins came out was one of the more nerve-wracking moments of Andrew’s high school career. He let Bee take charge of talking Aaron down from his panic, sitting in the kitchen with the laptop open as Neil peeked at the unread email.

“This seems like torture,” he observed, and Andrew nodded in agreement.

“It is,” he said under his breath.

His brother groaned loudly from the couch. 

“I can’t do this,” he said, while Bee hushed him.

“No matter what happens, you know you have other options,” she said, as calm as ever. “Johns Hopkins is a very selective school, and you knew what when you applied. You did your best, and that’s what matters.”

“I know, but - ”

“Let’s open it first, and go from there, yeah?” Bee squeezed his shoulders when Aaron fell silent. 

Neil jumped aside as the two of them made their way back to the kitchen. He seemed to melt into the shadows, but Andrew knew he was still there. The darkness seemed to crawl toward Neil wherever he went.

Aaron scrubbed a hand over his face furiously, before taking a deep breath.

“That’s it,” Bee encouraged.

After a painful minute, his brother shook his head and tapped open the email.

One second passed, and then another.

Aaron’s eyes narrowed as he opened the letter, gaze darting over whatever words awaited him.

The quiet was so tense it almost threatened to snap.

Then - 

“Holy shit. Holy shit !” 

Andrew leaned forward, pushing the computer toward himself. 

He’d gotten in.

Bee was hugging Aaron tightly while he laughed in disbelief, seemingly reduced to weak curses and silence. “I’m going to fucking college,” he said while Bee rocked him back and forth.

“Oh, I’m so, so proud of you,” she whispered, before letting him go. 

Andrew waited until Aaron wiped his eyes and looked at him before doing anything else.

“I knew you could do it,” he said.

His brother’s smile was the most brilliant he’d ever seen it, and the pure joy in Aaron’s eyes as he stared back at Andrew said everything he couldn’t.

Thank you.

Bee looked between them with a strength that could’ve replaced the sun. “How do you want to celebrate tonight?” 

Aaron pretended to think about it for a second, before declaring, “Let me drive your car.”

Their mom laughed but reached into her pocket for her keys. “Alright, let’s go, boys.”

Though, ten minutes later, it didn’t feel much like a celebration when Andrew was white-knuckling it in the backseat as Aaron roamed down their neighborhood.

(He was a shit driver).

But, Andrew had grown enough by then to recognize that this feathery, airy thing blooming in his chest was happiness.

Happiness, in all its terrifying and ephemeral glory.

He and Aaron had been inseparable from the start, from houses to homes. And while cautious anxiety trickled through his veins, cold and treacherous, the warmth he felt from seeing the elation in his brother’s face was enough to overpower it, for just a moment.

Andrew had gotten results himself, a fair mix of both rejections and acceptances, but he didn’t pay them much mind. He didn’t feel anything in particular for the schools he’d applied for, something he told Renee the following week, during half-time in one of their games.

Tugging off his gloves, Andrew flexed his aching fingers. Renee was next to him, tying her hair back with a relieved sigh.

“Rough game,” she said, rotating her shoulder where she’d taken a hit earlier. Andrew hummed distractedly, gaze trailing away from crowds gathered in the bleachers to rest on Neil.

His demon insisted on accompanying him to his games, perching on one of the benches like a gargoyle to look over the court. Riko hadn’t tried messing with Andrew or his family since the incident in the hallway, aside from a few jabs and sneers that went unacknowledged, but Neil followed him around nonetheless.

(Their orbits always remained together, side by side, but never fully intersected).

((Andrew’s heart clenched furiously at the thought)).

He knew Renee was looking at Neil too, her lips twitching in a gentle smile as she glanced between the two of them.

“He’s stayed for a while,” she said, not quite a question or observation.

Andrew tugged his gaze away with a sigh. “He has a vendetta against Riko now,” he said. 

Renee laughed softly. 

“Have you heard from any schools yet?” she asked.

“A few,” Andrew replied. “None that I care about.”

“You don’t have a top school?”

“I don’t care where I go. I just - ” Honesty caught him by surprise, choking his voice off for a moment. Renee watched him patiently. “I just care where my family is.”

“It’ll be hard at first, but we’ll find ways to keep in touch,” she said. “Besides, I’m going to USC with Kevin and Jeremy. You won’t have to worry about him.” Then, casting a playful glance toward Neil, she added, “We’ll be in good company.”

Andrew didn’t want to think about the idea of Neil possibly not following him along to wherever he decided to go. Digging half moons into his palms, he only grunted in response.

Renee leaned forward, expression earnest and clear. “It will be okay, Andrew,” she said. “We will be okay.”

At his nod, she smiled and reached into her pocket, taking out the same marker she seemed to keep with her everywhere.

“Mind if I - ?” she asked, and Andrew rested his hand in hers almost automatically. He let the familiar feeling of felt tips dragging across scars and calluses bring him back to the ground, closing his eyes as the muffled cheers of the crowd washed over him.

The words were slipping out of him before he could bother to stop them.

“Thank you,” he said, “for everything.” 

Renee didn’t look up from her work, only smiling and replying easily, “Thank you for believing me.”

The whistle rang, signaling the end of half-time. Renee was the first goalie in the next quarter, so she capped the marker and tapped her racquet against Andrew’s.

“See you in a bit,” she said, pulling on her helmet and heading back onto the court.

Before he put his own gloves back on, Andrew glanced down at the new ink designs sprawling over his hands.

Renee had drawn a little heart, right over his veins.

--

Nicky came back from college to visit them just in time to watch their final Exy game of the season.

Andrew could tell, because he could hear his cousin’s shouts even through the thick glass walls separating them from the crowd. 

He sent a salute Nicky’s way, much to his delight, before turning toward Wymack as his coach stepped up. 

“Feeling alright, Minyard?” he asked gruffly, raising his voice over the roar outside.

“As dandy as ever, Coach,” he replied. 

“If I ask you nicely,” Wymack said, “will you give me a miracle tonight?” 

Andrew glanced up at the scoreboard. The Foxes were going up against their rival team for their final match, and even if they’d been training for this moment their entire season, it didn’t stop the apprehension from rippling through their team. They could win, Andrew calculated, but it would be an uphill battle.

For a second, as he let his gaze sweep the stadium, the court wasn’t there anymore.

And it was just him and Neil and a foggy field in the early morning. Just the two of them, unseen and unknowable. Playing against nothing and everything at once.

After a minute, Andrew reached down and strapped on his gloves. “Give me a number, Coach.”

A smirk dawned on Wymack’s face as he caught on to his game. 

“Is it too much to ask for zero?” he asked.

Shrugging, Andrew lifted up his racquet, shaking out his hands. “Then zero is what you’ll get.”

Neil stepped onto the court the same time Andrew did, drifting dutifully behind him as he took his place in goal. 

“Causing trouble?” he asked. “Shall I make it double?”

“You already know the answer.” He rammed the head of his stick against the goal, adjusting his stance. Neil’s giggle echoed in his mind, even as his demon darted away to stand in the space behind him. 

The buzzer sounded, and the game began.

Two hours, many bruises, and one too many fouls later, the Foxes walked off the court league champions.

Andrew felt like he could sleep for ten years, but he let himself get swept away in his team’s celebrations. Aaron clacked his racquet against Andrew’s helmet with a grin, while Kevin rambled on about how he had played like he was a pro. Andrew met Renee’s gaze across their team huddle, and she beamed. 

“Andrew!” Wymack said, cutting off their excited chatter. His eyes brimmed with fierce pride as he gestured for Andrew to step closer. “You’re breaking it this time.” 

He rolled his eyes, but held up his racquet. The rest of his team followed suit, putting the heads of their sticks together.

“Foxes on three,” he said, “One, two, three.”

“Foxes !” they roared. 

On his way into the locker room, Andrew found Neil hovering over the bench. He was tracing shadows up and down his arms, but perked up at Andrew’s approach.

“Guess who played like the devil out there,” he said brightly. 

“Oh, you’re clever,” Andrew said, echoing Neil’s own words from what seemed like so long ago. 

Their moment was cut short when heavy footsteps approached them. Andrew looked up to see Riko, gaze stone-cold as he leaned against the lockers and regarded him.

He looked away, focusing on tugging his gloves off and ripping off his goalie armor. After a long minute, Riko broke the silence first, shifting and sighing sharply through his nose.

“Good game,” he said roughly.

That was new. Neil scoffed above him, and Andrew couldn’t help but agree. He didn’t say anything, busying himself with strapping his racquet to his bag.

Riko tried again, clearing his throat.

“How did you do it, monster?”

He could’ve been talking about so many things. How did Andrew shut out the goal so perfectly? How did he survive four years of Riko’s endless torment? How did he manage to live on, when he knew the weight of worlds and cold universes upon his shoulders so intimately?

Andrew didn’t know what Riko was really asking, nor did he care. Slamming his locker shut, he turned around to face him. Behind his back, he splayed his palm out - stop - before Neil could do anything stupid, like launch Riko into another dimension, as tempting as that image was.

“I hope you realize that none of the things I’ve done have ever been out of a need to impress you or your inferiority complex,” he said coldly. Riko’s eyes widened, but Andrew barreled on mercilessly. “I don’t care what you have to say. The people who matter most to me know who I really am, and that’s enough. Do not ever make the mistake of thinking I need or want your validation.”

Silence sang gleefully for a long moment. Andrew shouldered his bag and brushed past Riko, who, miraculously, didn’t utter a word.

Another war won and settled, he supposed, as Neil chuckled softly and darted out after him.

When Andrew rounded the corner and stepped out from the locker room, Bee, Aaron, and Nicky were already waiting for him. His cousin positively shrieked with delight when he saw Andrew.

“Oh my God ! You were amazing!” He came running, arms raised, somehow managing to stop himself right before he crashed into Andrew. “Shit. Ah. Can I hug you?”

“I won’t stab you, Nicky,” Andrew said, and that was all the invitation his cousin needed before wrapping him in his arms and crushing his ribs.

“Oh,” he said, once he let him go. “There’s someone here to see you, by the way!”

Andrew glanced past him to spot another man round the corner. He was about the same height as Wymack, dressed in blue and white, with a relatively friendly face and an envelope in one hand.

“Andrew Minyard?” he asked. Aaron jabbed a thumb in his direction, and the man turned to face him. Grinning, his eyes crinkled around the edges.

“Hi there. You can call me Alex,” he said and held out his hand, not batting an eye when Andrew didn’t return the gesture. “You might know of me as the Exy coach at Johns Hopkins University. We are one of the top collegiate teams in the nation.”

Aaron’s eyes widened, while Nicky and Bee shared a significant look. Everything around Andrew seemed to freeze as Alex approached him, setting the envelope in his hands.

“Your coach asked me to personally come and watch you play,” he said. “I’ll admit, it’s a bit late and unconventional to be recruiting at this time. I’m not sure if you’ve already accepted or declined any admissions offers.” He eyed Andrew’s racquet, smiling toothily. “But, David was right. I can see incredible potential in you, and tonight was nothing short of one of the most impressive feats I’ve ever seen at a high school level. We’d love to have you on our team. We’re prepared to offer you a full scholarship if you’re willing to accept our offer. Tuition, housing, everything will be covered.”

He slipped his card into Andrew’s numb fingers as well. “Just give me a call with your decision by the end of the month. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.” 

Nicky and Bee took charge of social etiquette when Andrew tried to open his mouth and words failed him. 

“Thank you so much, Alex,” Bee said brightly, shaking his hand. “We will give you a call when we’re ready.”

“Take your time,” he insisted, before turning back to Andrew. “I hope I’ll see you on campus this fall, Mr. Minyard.” 

Once he’d left, probably to find Wymack or something, Aaron was the one who burst first.

“Are you shitting me?” His expression looked like he’d tasted gold for the first time. “We can go to school together now, Andrew. That’s fucking insane.”

“On a full ride, too.” Nicky sniffled, grinning with watery eyes. “God, you two better remember me when you’re all grown up and famous.”

“Shut up,” Andrew said distantly, though he didn’t really mean it. The world seemed to spin as he ran his thumb across Coach Alex’s business card, fingertips pressing over his phone number.

Bee reached out, resting her hand gently against his shoulder. The touch grounded him briefly, quieting his storms and returning him to orbit.

“Are you feeling alright, Andrew?” she asked softly.

The answer came easily. 

“I’m good,” he said breathlessly.

“I am so proud of you. All of you.” Bee, usually so eloquent, could only seem to offer words wrapped in simple sunlight that night. Squeezing Aaron’s wrist with her other hand, she also beckoned for Nicky to come close. “I love you. I am so lucky to love you. You know that?”

(Things were changing, too slow and too fast).

((But if Andrew just looked around, he’d find that no matter where he was, his moons would always be right there. Next to him)).

“I know,” he whispered.

Bee let him go, taking his bag for him. “Let’s go home. You both must be tired. We’ll talk about all this tomorrow, sound good?”

The four of them headed out for the parking lot, shadows combining into one family underneath the street lamps.

Before Andrew could get into his mom’s car, he paused.

He felt so full, yet - 

Something was missing.

He glanced over his shoulder. 

Neil wasn’t there.

He didn’t know why, and it shouldn’t have, but the realization seemed to carve a hole into him. Like a shooting star had passed him by, too quickly, and he hadn’t even noticed it.

Andrew got into the car, holding the envelope tightly in his hands, as Bee sped home.

--

As soon as they got home, Andrew headed for his own room, ramming the door open.

Tension he hadn’t even known he’d been holding seeped out from his shoulders when he spotted Neil’s familiar form hanging on his ceiling again.

His demon stirred when he flicked on the light, drifting to his feet and glancing around.

“You left early,” Andrew said, dropping the scholarship offer onto his desk and shutting the door.

“What’s that?” Neil asked instead of answering. 

It still felt surreal to say it out loud. “I was recruited to Johns Hopkins for Exy.” 

“Hey,” he said, smiling. “Look at you.” 

Maybe it was a trick of the light - but for some reason, he looked strangely self-deprecating just then. Andrew felt his own heart tighten as he slowly approached Neil, crossing his arms.

“What?” he asked.

There was a strain to Neil’s usually nonchalant smile as he took Andrew in - almost desperately, like he was trying to memorize everything there was to him.

“I don’t think you will need me around anymore after this,” he said after a long minute. “You’ve got it handled.”

A new heaviness dropped down into his heart. Gravity pulled him - lower, lower, lower - until he crash landed to the bottom.

Andrew barely kept the tremble out of his voice as he asked, “Are you leaving, then?”

Neil shrugged. He tried to look casual, but his movements were far too stiff for someone made of shadows and night and seas.

“I could.”

(Andrew wondered if this was what planets felt like when they lost a moon, when one of their favorite stars in the sky began blinking out).

((This premature loss, this immature plea not to go, this dizzying nostalgia flooding his veins at the thought of black holes disappearing and patching themselves back up)).

Some part of Andrew had known this day was coming. Renee had told him that spirits were rarely ever permanent in the world, that they could come and go as they pleased. He had known that Neil would only stay for as long as he needed to - the demon had said it himself.

But, his heart had never run next to his head.

He could catalog the constellations and cosmos with his mind all he wanted, rendering them as empty, soulless contours on his map. Yet, his treacherous, foolish heart - 

It was the one that insisted he gave his moons names. Insisted that he made wishes upon the stars. Insisted that rising up every day was not a chore, but rather a way for the sun to kiss his cheeks.

Insisted that he fall for the most powerful and uncontrollable elements of the universe - black holes, open seas, Neil.

(It was supposed to be a better fall this time, not the kind that left Andrew in broken shambles).

((But he’d crashed into Neil’s moonlit seas before he could even blink - Icarus, plummeting to the depths)).

So it was with his heart, and not his head, that Andrew stepped close and uttered his next request. 

“Stay.”

Neil stared at him hard. 

Something changed in his expression, replacing pained cold with afternoon-illuminated honey.

With a jolt, Andrew thought that maybe -

Maybe he wasn’t the only one whose heart had slipped away.

“What for?” Neil’s voice was barely a whisper, but Andrew latched on to it, and didn’t let go. His thoughts raced, searching for something, anything, that was good enough to convince a demon to stay in the boring, mortal world - 

“Prom.” He clenched his fists, nails digging harshly into his palms. “Stay with me for prom.”

“What is a prom?” 

“It’s a dance,” Andrew explained through gritted teeth. “For seniors. A high school tradition.”

(He’d never given a shit about high school traditions).

((So of course it was the first thing that came to his fucking head)).

Neil wrinkled his nose as he mulled it over. “I don’t like people.”

“Me either. That’s why I want you there.”

He didn’t say anything, so Andrew dared to take one step closer. They were nearly close enough that he thought he could feel warmth radiating from his demon.

“So, Neil,” he said hoarsely, holding Neil’s gaze with his own. “Prom. With me. Yes or no?”

A new smile began to dawn on his face. This time, it was every inch genuine.

“Yes, Andrew.” 

--

Oh, there was definitely a reason Andrew had avoided high school social functions up until now.

Actually getting ready for prom wasn’t too painful. Andrew and Aaron had matching suits, courtesy of Nicky insisting on dragging them out shopping the weekend prior. Aaron had managed to score a date with one of the school cheerleaders - Katelyn was her name - while Nicky was going as their self-appointed chaperone.

“Kevin and Company are going to be here in a few,” he said, checking his watch. “And Bee’s waiting to take your photos, so you two handsome devils better hurry it up.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow at Andrew. “You’re going to prom alone?” he asked, tapping his fingers against Katelyn’s corsage - a nervous tell. 

Andrew couldn’t help but cast a glance toward his mirror. Behind him, Neil slowly grinned, tongue darting out playfully from between his teeth. For an electric moment, his eyes flashed from open oceans to obsidian, pitch-black and all-consuming, before returning back to blue. 

The sight never failed to make a chill skip down Andrew’s spine, and he felt his own lips begin to twitch upward as he met Neil’s piercing stare. 

“I won’t be alone,” he said, adjusting his suit sleeves and fixing his tie. “I’ll have you.”

Nicky cooed. “That’s so sweet, cuz,” he said. Aaron watched him curiously for a long moment, before shrugging and turning away. 

Andrew lingered behind on his way out so Neil could appear in front of him. He’d managed to tweak his appearance so he was dressed in a deep red suit and a midnight dress shirt this time, an outfit that hugged his slim build and complemented his auburn hair a little too well.

“You are a menace,” Andrew said. Neil smirked, winking at him before darting into the living room. Andrew sighed and followed him, willing his disloyal heart to quit its rushing. 

Most of the team had gathered, at least for pictures. Matt was there with Dan, one of their lead JV team coaches, while Jean and Jeremy came as a pair. Aaron was busy trying not to get stabbed by Katelyn as she giggled and pinned the boutonniere onto his suit. Kevin and Seth had begrudgingly gathered together “just for the sake of photos,” while Renee and Allison had come with their arms linked. 

Andrew stood next to Renee, who smiled warmly at him. The dress she was wearing allowed her ink drawings to be on full display, this time with an eye blinking by her collar bone and an entire cosmos swirling down her left arm. 

“Cool,” was all Andrew said. His friend beamed like it was the best compliment she’d ever received.

“Alright, everyone,” Bee called from the front of their home. “Let’s get a bit closer together. On the count of three, make a pose.”

“Say Exy!” Jeremy called from the opposite side, to Matt and Renee’s delight and everyone else’s chagrin.

Andrew could feel Neil’s presence behind him, his soft laughter echoing in his ears. He didn’t smile, but threw up a peace sign as Bee snapped the photos. 

She sent them off with a kiss on the forehead each and a teasing, “Text me if you need an escape plan.” The sun set over their senior year as Andrew followed the rest of the Foxes in a pack to their venue, glancing behind him every now and then to see his second shadow faithfully right next to him.

The dance itself - it was a whole other story.

Andrew could tolerate Exy with reasonable limits, but putting him in a writhing mass of hormonal teenagers, moshing to some shitty music with no lyrical value at all, was a recipe for disaster.

He spent the first hour of the dance turning down his family’s attempts to drag him into the fray. He could spot his brother dancing with Katelyn near the edge of the crowd, Nicky with his arms around Kevin trying to sway him along to the beat. Renee and Allison were a ways off, hanging out with Matt and Dan as they jumped with their arms in the air. Occasionally his cousin would flash a pleading glance his way, which Andrew only answered with a casual salute and a sip of his fruit punch. 

Eventually he got sick of the heat and mess. He looked up toward the ceiling, where Neil was standing, waiting for him, right next to the disco ball.

“Neil,” was all he had to say before his demon was flashing down to stand right next to him, grin wicked sharp. “We’re leaving.”

While his family blended in with the rest of the crowd, Andrew and Neil slipped out the back. 

They found themselves in an empty hallway, one decorated with still-floating balloons, cartoon stars, and fallen bits of glitter. Strobes of neon light left stars leaping across the floor, as Andrew turned toward Neil. 

“Well?” his demon said after a long silence. 

“Well what?” Andrew mimicked.

“You made me stick around this long for prom,” Neil said. “You could at least give me one dance.”

As if on cue, Andrew’s heart started skipping and stumbling over itself, and the DJ’s muffled voice rang out through the hollow venue.

“Alright, lovebirds,” he called. “Who’s ready for some slow dancing?”

A new song began to play, permeating through the quiet. Andrew could only stare at Neil as he took a step closer, holding out his arms expectantly.

“Can I even touch you?” Andrew’s voice was too small, but Neil was both intangible and awfully corporeal at the same time, and his hands ached to reach out and just brush against him once, even if his fingers trembled at the thought of it.

His demon tilted his head to the side. “Of course you can.” Then he held out his hand - no shadows trailing over skin, just a home for Andrew to cup in his own palm. “Humans hold hands when they dance, no?”

“Idiot.” The name caught treacherously in Andrew’s throat as he stepped forward and took Neil’s hand. He nearly jumped at how warm his skin was, how real and solid he felt under Andrew’s fingertips. 

“What now?” Neil asked, pitching his voice softer so he was barely audible over the muffled music.

“Arms around my neck,” Andrew forced out. “I’m going to put my hands on your waist.”

Neil nodded in consent, resting his arms over Andrew’s shoulders and tangling his fingers together. Closing his eyes for a moment to gather himself, Andrew rested his hands over Neil’s hips, inhaling deeply at the velvety, too-real feel of his suit, trying and failing not to think about just how well they fit together.

They started out slow, tentatively swaying together to the lilting beat. Neither of them said anything for a long time, letting the song cradle them tenderly through the night.

What makes this fragile world go round?

Were you ever lost? 

Was she ever found?

“You know,” Neil whispered, breaking the quiet. “You’ve taught me a lot more about being human than I expected. It’s nice.”

Andrew looked up, met his gaze. With nothing but the dim hallway light illuminating his face - a waning crescent curving over his cheeks - Neil’s eyes weren’t just black or blue anymore. Kaleidoscopes of colors replaced wide, brilliant irises. Entire worlds and planets spun, whirled, danced around in his galaxy. Flecks of gold and neon magenta settled and swirled across his face, new constellations born in the span of a few seconds.

The words slipped out before Andrew could catch them and stuff them back down.

“You are a pipe dream,” he breathed.

A smile quirked on Neil’s lips. It was a private kind, one that seemed to be reserved just for Andrew. 

“Yeah?” Neil said quietly. “I’m not a hallucination.”

And right there, with his body nearly pressed against Andrew’s, his breath brushing across Andrew’s face, his lips that looked just a little too soft - 

He knew Neil was every inch real.

Fall back into place, the song murmured, washing over them like waves.

“Neil,” he whispered, something too hot and overwhelming swelling in his chest.

“Andrew,” his demon whispered back.

Fall back into place.

“I want to kiss you.” 

For once, Neil was startled into silence. He blinked owlishly at Andrew, lips parting mid-breath. After a moment too long, Andrew felt anxiety, familiar and ugly, begin to prickle underneath his skin.

“Unless you want to say no,” he said hastily, fumbling over his words, “or if you’re finally going to rip my soul out and eat me alive - I would rather if you didn’t do that and just said so - ”

Then Neil broke into a grin, hushed him once, and leaned in.

Fall back into place.

The kiss was a little awkward, with Neil smiling too hard against Andrew’s lips, but he didn’t care at all. Because Neil tasted like electricity and stars against his mouth, so infinitely cold yet blazing hot at the same time. He stole every last bit of oxygen from Andrew’s lungs, leaving behind nothing but raw exhilaration and wispy sighs.

When they finally broke apart, Andrew realized with an aching desperation that he wanted to do it all over again - 

And again. And again. 

But all he asked instead was a question he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer to.

“How long will you stay?”

Neil let out a breathless laugh, before pressing their foreheads together.

“As long as I want to.”

Fall back into place.

(Here was a new discovery, made on the night of prom: maybe Neil was gravity itself).

((He was everything and everywhere, all at once. 

Perhaps falling for him wasn’t so bad a crash landing after all)).

“Why?” Andrew asked hoarsely. 

Neil hummed softly. “You said it yourself,” he said teasingly. “High school is the real hell on Earth, anyway.”

So the moon enraptured the sea. Stars kissed the night. Planets crossed orbits with soulmates from another galaxy.

The universe Andrew had mapped out was indifferent. Cruel. Fickle.

Yet - 

He thought there were still pockets of love out there, as many as there were stars still alive in the fabric of space, stringing the entire cosmos together.

And what were they, but two cartographers with infinite space to navigate?

Neil’s answer burrowed itself a home among his ribs. Andrew reached up, cupping his demon’s face with his hands, tangling his fingers in his hair. He kissed him, again, again, again.

Slowly, they fell back into place.