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”What’s wrong with being gay?”
”It’s a sin and it’s disgusting!”
”No, it’s not? And even if it was, just let them be! They haven’t done anything to you, so why do you care so much?”
”They’re manipulative and will ruin all the kids! Innocent kids! They’re doing the devil’s work!”
”No, they’re not! You’re just being bigots!”
”Don’t you dare talk to your parents like that! We raised you! You’re living under my roof! Pay us more respect!”
“The hell I will! I’ll pay you respect if you treat others with respect!”
“Enough! To your room! Now! And I don’t want to see your face in the next few days until you’re ready to apologize!”
“Great! That means I’ll never have to talk to you bigots ever again!”
“Into! Your! Room!”
Regulus sat through the rest of the dinner in silence. He wanted nothing more than to just stand up and race after his older brother. He knew how painful these fights were for him. He’d told him multiple times to just let it slide whenever they let a comment slip, but Sirius just couldn’t keep it together. Always searching for the confrontation. It really was a miracle that Walburga and Orion hadn’t figured out the reason for their son’s behaviour, yet.
Or maybe it wasn’t. In order to spot something as personal as that, they’d have to have at least a little bit of an interest for his life. Obviously they hadn’t had that in a long time.
When his parents finally dismissed Regulus, he calmly stood up and moved up the staircase in a casual manner. Anything in order not to raise his parents’ suspicions. That was Regulus’ life motto in this household. Keeping a low profile until he was old enough and somewhat financially stable by himself, so that he could leave without causing a huge uproar.
When he arrived on the second floor, he came to a halt in front of Sirius’ door. There, he hesitated for a moment before he knocked. He just hoped his brother would talk to him and not kick him out immediately. What with him not having his back against their parents and everything.
“Come in.”
Regulus entered the room. Sirius was lying on his bed on top of his grey sheets, his face buried in his pillow. His hands were resting next to his head and he held his unlocked phone in one of them. Regulus stepped closer and took a look at it.
“Calling your boyfriend to whine about your horrible family, are you?”
Sirius turned his head to glare at him. There were red marks all over his face from the wrinkles in his pillow cover. “I’m not! Well, I am, but he’s not my boyfriend.”
“You wish he was, though.” Regulus smiled cheekily at the pink blush rising to his brother’s cheeks.
“Shut up, asshole. He’s not picking up anyways.” Sirius switched off his phone with a sigh and finally sat up properly. Well, not properly, he was still slumped against the wooden headboard of his bed. Then he looked at his brother. ”What are you doing here anyways. Did you just come to make fun of me having a crush on my best friend again?”
Regulus took his time with his answer. Even if it was an easy question. He liked being considerate about his every word. It gave him the power of being able to predict the reactions of his conversation partners. It was both boring and exciting to know how a conversation would end before it even started, but it was a pretty reliable way of avoiding conflicts and misunderstandings. There were only few people that managed to surprise him every now and then. James Potter, for example, was very good at that and Regulus had no clue how he did it. It was infuriating. Every single conversation with that guy somehow managed to get under his skin. “I thought James was your best friend?”
“Nope. James is my brother, okay? I mean, you are my brother, of course, but James is my brother, you know?”
Regulus smirked while he sat down on Sirius’ piano bench. “Actually, I don’t know, but I think I understand what you mean.”
Sirius’ confused gaze was absolutely worth it. “The hell is wrong with you? How even does your brain work?”
“Don’t ask me that. I’m not a neurologist.” The confusion on Sirius expression increased visibly.
“Regulus, what do you want?”
For a moment Regulus considered teasing him just a little longer, but then he decided it was time for some straight – or not so straight – real talk. “I know you’re hurting a lot after these conversations with mother and father. And I want to remind you that I’m on your side-” Sirius snorted. “-I really am. I just don’t want to risk getting kicked out or something. But I want you to know that you can always talk to me. About everything. Even your stupid crush on that Lupin guy.”
Sirius snorted again but this time it sounded more like amusement rather than annoyance. “You hate when I talk about him.”
“I do not!” Sirius raised an eyebrow. Oh, really? “I swear, I just pretend like I do. Figured I’d help you understand how James might feel.”
The confusion on Sirius face came back with full force. It was way too funny to watch. “Why would you do that? Have I missed something? Are you suddenly super close with James?”
Regulus couldn’t suppress a wide grin anymore. “No, brother dear. I’m just very observant. And I like teasing you. That’s kind of my job as your little brother, isn’t it?”
“I guess so.”
Regulus mustered his brother’s face closely. Something was still bugging him. If it was the fact that his crush didn’t have time for him at the moment or if it was just their parents’ words still buzzing around in Sirius’ head, Regulus couldn’t know. But he wanted it gone.
After a minute of plain silence, Regulus decided it was time to break it. And as he had no clue what to say anymore, he turned towards the piano next to him and opened the lid. Carefully he rested his thin digits on the keys, letting his mind wander until he suddenly knew what he wanted to play. He hadn’t played it before but that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. It was a modern song so the chords were all pretty basic. It also probably didn’t hurt that he had listened to that song uncountable times. With closed eyes Regulus hit a few different keys, trying to find the right note.
“What are you doing now, Regs?”
“Shh, just let me do this, okay?”
“Whatever.”
There! That’s the key! Keeping his eyes tightly shut, he experimentally played the melody of the refrain. He missed one key, but it didn’t sound too bad.
“Wait, I know this! I swear I know this melody from somewhere!”
Regulus opened his eyes again and shot his brother a grin. “Shut up and listen.” And, surprisingly, Sirius did exactly that. So Regulus finally started playing. And singing. It was usually not a thing he did when he had an audience, but maybe this was exactly what Sirius needed right now. Even if he screwed up, at least Sirius would have something to laugh then. But he got into the flow of the music very smoothly and his voice luckily didn’t give up on him.
” When we were young we were the ones
The kings and queens oh yeah, we ruled the world
We smoked cigarettes man no regrets
Wish I could relive every single word
We’ve taken different paths
And travelled different roads
I know we’ll always end up on the same one when we’re old
And when you’re in the trenches
And you’re under fire I will cover you
If I was dying on my knees
You would be the one to rescue me
And if you were drowned at sea
I’d give you my lungs so you could breathe “
Regulus stilled his hands and stopped the playing in order to look directly into his brother’s eyes as he sang a last line in a low voice.
” I’ve got you brother “
Sirius said nothing at first, just staring at his baby brother with glassy eyes. And his first words might have surprised someone else, but honestly, Regulus hadn’t expected anything else.
“You can sing?”
“I’m not mute, of course I can sing!”
“Not what I meant, idiot! You’re good !”
“Well, I’ve got to be better than you at something.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You know it’s true. You can’t sing for shit.”
“How nice of you. I feel so much better after you insulted me.”
Regulus grinned. He knew he had done it now. All the actual pain and tension in Sirius expression was finally gone. “You’re welcome.”
Sirius smiled back. Suddenly David Bowie was belting from Sirius’ phone. Regulus stood up and walked towards the door. “That’s my call. Well, no. It’s yours. Which means I’ll leave you to it. Greet your boyfriend from me.” He turned to leave and already had the handle in his grip when Sirius said something.
“Reg? Thank you.”
“It’s no big deal. Now, don’t let your man wait! Pick up the damn call!”
With that, Regulus pulled the door closed behind his back with the smile still on his lips and went to his own room. He really wished he could do more than this. He really cared for his brother and couldn’t stand seeing him like this. Of course, he could cheer him up over and over again, but that didn’t really solve the problem, did it? Well, in the worst case Sirius still had an amazing group of friends.
Regulus didn’t.
He knew that it was a selfish thought, especially in a situation like this, but he couldn’t help it. Because it was the truth.
If Sirius lost his brother, he’d still have everything.
If Regulus lost his brother, he’d have nothing.
It was okay, though.
As long as Sirius was proud and happy...